1 00:00:22,021 --> 00:00:24,763 [ Man On TV ] Ocean Avenue is gearing up for this year's Lobsterfest, 2 00:00:24,850 --> 00:00:27,984 and that mean old tropical storm we've been watching is movin' out to sea, 3 00:00:28,071 --> 00:00:29,986 which means perfect weekend weather! 4 00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:31,987 Ugh! Damn it! 5 00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:34,729 So if you think you hear thunder, it's just my stomach growling. 6 00:00:34,817 --> 00:00:36,774 [ Laughs ] I love lobster.[ Laughs ] 7 00:00:36,862 --> 00:00:39,996 This guy is unbelievable. Stop pimping for Lobsterfest! 8 00:00:40,082 --> 00:00:42,216 And start primping for Lobsterfest. 9 00:00:42,302 --> 00:00:45,045 Mmm. [ Growls ]Looking primpy. 10 00:00:45,131 --> 00:00:47,395 No! No primping for anything! 11 00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:50,049 - Why are you so grumpy? Come on. - You know why. 12 00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:53,009 It's no fun being a burger man in a seafood town. 13 00:00:53,095 --> 00:00:55,316 I hate lobsters and their stupid fest. 14 00:00:55,402 --> 00:00:57,143 Plus, I'm allergic.No, you're not. 15 00:00:57,231 --> 00:00:59,493 Yeah. I'm allergic. Remember our first date? 16 00:00:59,581 --> 00:01:01,887 Yeah, I remember our first date. You were a nervous wreck. 17 00:01:01,973 --> 00:01:04,281 ♪♪ [ Funky Guitar ] 18 00:01:04,367 --> 00:01:07,197 [ Man ] Ahhh! Uhh! 19 00:01:07,284 --> 00:01:08,980 Oh, yeah. 20 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:11,245 ♪♪ [ Woman Vocalizing ] 21 00:01:11,331 --> 00:01:13,682 I was having an allergic reac-- Never mind. 22 00:01:13,769 --> 00:01:15,248 Hey, what are you guys looking at over there? 23 00:01:15,335 --> 00:01:16,728 Um, nothing. 24 00:01:16,814 --> 00:01:18,990 Just pictures of people-- [ Quietly ] doing it. 25 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,210 Oh. Hey, wait a minute. That's not porn. 26 00:01:21,298 --> 00:01:23,778 You brought a Lobsterfest brochure into this house? 27 00:01:23,865 --> 00:01:26,390 Can we please go this year?Absolutely not. 28 00:01:26,477 --> 00:01:29,176 Ugh! But there's so much fun stuff happening. 29 00:01:29,263 --> 00:01:32,179 Unveiling of the world's largest butter vat, for instance. 30 00:01:32,265 --> 00:01:34,049 The coronation of the Lobster Queen... 31 00:01:34,137 --> 00:01:36,096 and her court of lovely lobster maidens. 32 00:01:36,182 --> 00:01:39,795 Entertainment by John Van Horton and the Music Extrusion. 33 00:01:39,882 --> 00:01:41,753 Mmm. I do love those guys. 34 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,539 As a matter of fact, Gene, you were conceived to a J.V.H. song. 35 00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:46,409 And I plan to return the favor. 36 00:01:46,496 --> 00:01:49,412 - [ Rings ] - Oh, great. I mean, hi, Hugo. 37 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:52,721 I couldn't help but notice, yours is the only window on the street... 38 00:01:52,807 --> 00:01:54,462 without a Lobsterfest poster in it. 39 00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:56,027 Yeah.Why might that be? 40 00:01:56,115 --> 00:01:57,813 Because Lobsterfest is stupid! 41 00:01:57,900 --> 00:01:59,466 What?I'll handle this, Ron. 42 00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:01,120 Put the sign up. It's the law. 43 00:02:01,207 --> 00:02:03,034 - It's the law? - Martial law. 44 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,429 I'm Grand Marshal of the fest this year! 45 00:02:05,516 --> 00:02:07,561 Hugo, such a fancy sash. 46 00:02:07,649 --> 00:02:10,564 You look like Sissy Spacek in Carrie. [ Laughs ] 47 00:02:10,651 --> 00:02:13,002 Oh, thank you.But, Hugo, as a health inspector, 48 00:02:13,088 --> 00:02:15,308 you must know how disgusting lobsters are, right? 49 00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:17,527 They're bottom-feeders that eat garbage all day. 50 00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:19,835 Huh. They like garbage? Then they must eat here! 51 00:02:19,921 --> 00:02:21,575 [ Laughing ] In your face, Bob. 52 00:02:21,663 --> 00:02:24,013 And now in your window! Come on, Ron. 53 00:02:24,099 --> 00:02:27,058 Let's make like a lobster and get the shell out of here.All right. 54 00:02:27,146 --> 00:02:28,538 [ Bell Rings ] 55 00:02:30,671 --> 00:02:32,978 - [ Rings ] - Hey, my two best customers! 56 00:02:33,064 --> 00:02:35,807 - Two burgers coming up. - No burgers for me, Bob. 57 00:02:35,894 --> 00:02:38,026 I'm saving my appetite for Lobsterfest. 58 00:02:38,114 --> 00:02:41,073 None for me either, Bobby. I just come by to show you my new lobster cracker. 59 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,814 Check it out-- Titanium with butter-resistant grips. 60 00:02:43,901 --> 00:02:45,599 It's the one the astronauts used. 61 00:02:45,687 --> 00:02:48,472 Teddy, you think the astronauts brought a lobster cracker to space? 62 00:02:48,558 --> 00:02:50,300 Yeah. That's what it says on the box. Look. 63 00:02:50,387 --> 00:02:51,909 "The one the astronauts used in space!" 64 00:02:52,867 --> 00:02:54,609 I spent $49 on this. 65 00:02:54,695 --> 00:02:56,349 Hey, I bet you kids are old enough... 66 00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:58,307 to crack your own claws this year, right? 67 00:02:58,395 --> 00:03:00,484 - We don't celebrate Lobsterfest. - What? 68 00:03:00,570 --> 00:03:02,312 We're like Jews on Christmas. 69 00:03:02,399 --> 00:03:04,183 Or Jews For Jesus on Hanukkah. 70 00:03:04,270 --> 00:03:05,750 Or me at a lesbian bar... 71 00:03:05,836 --> 00:03:07,490 last night. 72 00:03:07,578 --> 00:03:09,753 Watched a hockey game at a lesbian bar, Bob. 73 00:03:09,841 --> 00:03:11,800 It was like I was invisible. 74 00:03:11,887 --> 00:03:12,800 Uh-- 75 00:03:16,456 --> 00:03:18,459 And who knows the name of the delicious paste... 76 00:03:18,545 --> 00:03:20,417 that collects here in the pancreas? 77 00:03:20,503 --> 00:03:22,419 Tomalley!Correct. 78 00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:25,596 - [ Clears Throat ] Excuse me, Miss Labonz? - Yes, Louise. 79 00:03:25,682 --> 00:03:27,816 My family doesn't observe Lobsterfest. 80 00:03:27,902 --> 00:03:30,122 I should be excused from class, and/or given an "A." 81 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,776 Thank you. Good night. 82 00:03:31,862 --> 00:03:33,735 Louise, I don't normally use this argument, 83 00:03:33,822 --> 00:03:36,912 but if everyone else is doing it, you should too. 84 00:03:36,998 --> 00:03:40,088 - [ Thunderclap ] - [ Grunts ] Attention, students. 85 00:03:40,175 --> 00:03:42,134 The tropical storm has changed course, 86 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,135 and has been upgraded to a hurricane. 87 00:03:44,223 --> 00:03:46,312 It could hit town at any moment. 88 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,359 Don't worry. We have an emergency plan. 89 00:03:49,445 --> 00:03:51,709 It's called "Talking it Through." 90 00:03:51,795 --> 00:03:54,668 Now who here thinks the hurricane was caused by something bad they did? 91 00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:56,584 What about you, Nicholas? 92 00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,151 That thing you told me? In confidence? 93 00:04:00,456 --> 00:04:02,415 Say it. 94 00:04:02,502 --> 00:04:05,069 - I rub my genitals on the couch. - Mm-hmm. 95 00:04:05,157 --> 00:04:08,335 We're all gonna die because of you![ Students Scream ] 96 00:04:08,421 --> 00:04:10,945 It's weather only a lobster could love, 97 00:04:11,032 --> 00:04:14,384 but sadly, there will be no Lobsterfest. 98 00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:16,995 This reporter is getting his bib off. 99 00:04:17,081 --> 00:04:19,694 Ha, ha! Stupid, failure weatherman... 100 00:04:19,781 --> 00:04:21,913 and your failed Lobsterfest. 101 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,567 Where's your ugly red sea bug god now? 102 00:04:25,829 --> 00:04:27,528 All right, hold hands. 103 00:04:27,615 --> 00:04:29,269 Come on, down to the basement. 104 00:04:29,355 --> 00:04:30,617 Bob, we have to close. 105 00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:34,012 A hurricane is coming!I know. Isn't it great? 106 00:04:34,098 --> 00:04:36,579 Lobsterfest is canceled! 107 00:04:36,667 --> 00:04:39,365 So this town is gonna be crawling with empty bellies... 108 00:04:39,452 --> 00:04:42,019 ready to eat Bob's Burgers, baby! 109 00:04:42,106 --> 00:04:44,500 Bob, you're crazy.I think you're crazy! 110 00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:47,721 'Cause it's crazy notto sell burgersduring a hurricane! 111 00:04:47,808 --> 00:04:50,028 Bob's Burgers is open for business! 112 00:04:50,855 --> 00:04:53,814 Oh.[ Crackling ] 113 00:04:53,901 --> 00:04:56,077 Is that all you got, storm? 114 00:04:56,165 --> 00:05:00,038 [ Tinkling ]Wind chimes! Aaah! 115 00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:02,475 [ Muffled ] 116 00:05:06,305 --> 00:05:08,612 Bob, I'm not sure staying open is safe. 117 00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:10,658 Suppose the hurricane tears right through here. 118 00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:12,572 I'll chance it![ Bell Rings ] 119 00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:15,271 Look who I found trying to stay dry in the bounce house. 120 00:05:15,358 --> 00:05:17,665 The entire royal court of lobster maidens. 121 00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:19,579 [ Gasps ] Oh, you poor things! 122 00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:21,668 Welcome, Your Highnesseses. 123 00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:26,151 Uh, you are henceforth known as the Royal Cows.Bob! 124 00:05:26,237 --> 00:05:28,023 Uh, well, something like that. [ Chuckles ] 125 00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:29,545 I'll go throw on some burgers. 126 00:05:29,632 --> 00:05:31,286 Hot coffee coming up! 127 00:05:31,374 --> 00:05:33,680 I'd really rather get my lips around that beer tap. 128 00:05:33,768 --> 00:05:36,117 Hi, guys.Hey, Gretchen! 129 00:05:36,204 --> 00:05:38,641 Hi!Oh, lobster maiden! 130 00:05:38,728 --> 00:05:40,687 Teddy, this is Gretchen. 131 00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:42,428 She cuts my hair.How you doing? 132 00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:44,473 Hey, are you still working nights at the cop bar? 133 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,694 Nah, there was a groping incident.[ Gasps ] 134 00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:48,783 I apologized, but they fired me anyway. 135 00:05:48,870 --> 00:05:51,002 - [ Laughs ] - Oh, she's too much. 136 00:05:51,088 --> 00:05:52,351 - Really is. - [ Bell Rings ] 137 00:05:52,439 --> 00:05:54,353 Hey, you open?Mm-hmm. 138 00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:55,398 - You got food? - Yup. 139 00:05:55,485 --> 00:05:56,965 - Beer? - Absolutely! 140 00:05:57,052 --> 00:06:00,315 - Atmosphere? - Yeah-- N-- 141 00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:02,492 Ah, good enough.Whoa, Bobby. 142 00:06:02,579 --> 00:06:04,973 I think this might develop into a party-type situation! 143 00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:07,540 You kids stay down in the basement. 144 00:06:07,627 --> 00:06:09,499 I already picked a corner for the bathroom. 145 00:06:09,586 --> 00:06:11,283 That one, where I went. 146 00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:13,850 And I picked that corner. Hey, we've got two bathrooms! 147 00:06:13,937 --> 00:06:16,898 Mom, I'm coming up![ Linda ] Just stay down there. 148 00:06:16,985 --> 00:06:20,204 They're gonna need you to help repopulate the Earth when this is all over. 149 00:06:20,292 --> 00:06:23,557 Ew! You want us to mate with each other?[ Linda ] No. 150 00:06:23,644 --> 00:06:25,733 You'll mate with the other kids in other basements. 151 00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:27,038 Keep talking. 152 00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:30,127 All right! J.V.H. unplugged! 153 00:06:30,214 --> 00:06:31,651 Look at all that wet gray hair. 154 00:06:31,738 --> 00:06:33,870 Oh, Bobby, look at Hugo. 155 00:06:33,957 --> 00:06:35,959 Oh, and poor wet Ron. 156 00:06:36,047 --> 00:06:38,136 Yeah. Isn't it hilarious?Bobby. 157 00:06:38,223 --> 00:06:40,877 All right, I'll let 'em in. I just want to give 'em a pressed ham first. 158 00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:42,226 - Stop it! - Come on, let me. 159 00:06:42,314 --> 00:06:43,314 All right. 160 00:06:45,012 --> 00:06:46,927 Sorry for using all of your napkins. 161 00:06:47,014 --> 00:06:49,495 I want to thank you for bringing us in, Bob. 162 00:06:49,582 --> 00:06:52,716 It was totally Linda's idea.She is so damn considerate! 163 00:06:52,802 --> 00:06:54,978 You have everything, and I have nothing. 164 00:06:55,066 --> 00:06:57,417 God, so alone!Mmm. [ Slurps ] 165 00:06:57,504 --> 00:07:00,463 Lobsterfest was all I had, and now that's gone too. 166 00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:02,682 Look at me. I'm a joke!Yeah, that's too bad. 167 00:07:02,769 --> 00:07:04,858 Hey, Bobby, some of the lobster maidens... 168 00:07:04,946 --> 00:07:06,990 are open to the idea of a wet-gown contest. 169 00:07:07,077 --> 00:07:08,689 Want to put up a prize? 170 00:07:08,776 --> 00:07:11,255 Uh, how about a towel?[ Laughs ] Oh, my God. 171 00:07:11,343 --> 00:07:13,040 That's so funny. [ Laughs ] 172 00:07:13,127 --> 00:07:14,824 Gretchen, have you, uh, met Hugo? 173 00:07:14,911 --> 00:07:17,088 He was gonna be Grand Marshal at, uh, Lobsterfest. 174 00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:19,307 Ooh. Nice sash. 175 00:07:19,394 --> 00:07:21,571 Ever take it off?Well, actually, on Monday... 176 00:07:21,658 --> 00:07:23,704 I have to dry-clean it and give it back. 177 00:07:23,790 --> 00:07:26,533 Hugo, Gretchen is into authority figures. 178 00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:29,839 Cops, firemen-- even mailmen, if they have an important route. 179 00:07:29,927 --> 00:07:31,798 Oh, my gosh. So am I! 180 00:07:31,886 --> 00:07:34,192 What, you're into mailmen?Well, if they have an important route. 181 00:07:34,278 --> 00:07:37,238 I think what Bob's saying is, she likes a man with a badge. 182 00:07:37,326 --> 00:07:39,067 You have a badge.Hey, Gretchen! 183 00:07:39,153 --> 00:07:41,634 Huh?Hey, Hugo's also a health inspector. 184 00:07:41,721 --> 00:07:43,593 That's like being a food sheriff. 185 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:46,682 This is my badge.Mmm. Kind of small. 186 00:07:46,769 --> 00:07:48,423 You got a gun?Uh, no. 187 00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:50,077 Actually, I'm not, uh--Mmm. 188 00:07:50,165 --> 00:07:51,906 licensed to carry a firearm. 189 00:07:51,992 --> 00:07:54,168 I do have a food safety thermometer, and it's very sharp. 190 00:07:54,255 --> 00:07:56,737 Pull it out, Hugo.Yeah, pull it out, Hugo. 191 00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:58,389 [ Laughing ] Whoa! Watch out. 192 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,043 Here it is.Ooh. 193 00:08:00,130 --> 00:08:01,742 "Unsafe range." 194 00:08:01,829 --> 00:08:04,483 I like my pork a little pink. 195 00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:06,572 ♪♪ [ Funky Guitar ] 196 00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:09,663 [ Man ] Ahhh! Uhh! 197 00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:11,533 Oh, yeah! 198 00:08:11,620 --> 00:08:13,449 Mmm.Tina, what are you doing? 199 00:08:13,536 --> 00:08:15,189 I'm working on my mating list... 200 00:08:15,276 --> 00:08:16,800 for when we have to repopulate the world. 201 00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:19,499 Let me see. Gay. Gay. 202 00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:22,153 Mythical creature. Gay mythical creature. 203 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,112 Mmm. Good luck. 204 00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:27,463 Guys, we're wasting time here. We gotta sneak out. 205 00:08:27,550 --> 00:08:30,552 Sneak out? But there's a hurricane.That's my point. 206 00:08:30,639 --> 00:08:34,687 We should be out there, in the wind and rain, looting!Looting? 207 00:08:34,774 --> 00:08:38,081 So how do we do this looting thing exactly? 208 00:08:38,168 --> 00:08:40,649 It's easy. You grab anything that's not nailed down. 209 00:08:40,736 --> 00:08:42,870 Anything? Like this brick? 210 00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:45,176 It's yours.Free brick! 211 00:08:45,263 --> 00:08:47,264 - Free quarter. - Free phone numbers. 212 00:08:47,351 --> 00:08:49,572 - Free seaweed. - Gene, free plywood. 213 00:08:49,658 --> 00:08:51,661 Whee! 214 00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:53,836 Hey, Bob, the cash register won't open, 215 00:08:53,923 --> 00:08:55,751 and you're serving burgers so fast, 216 00:08:55,838 --> 00:08:57,667 I don't even know who to get an I.O.U. from. 217 00:08:57,754 --> 00:08:59,799 Relax, Linda. I'll take care of it.[ Groans ] 218 00:08:59,886 --> 00:09:02,236 Hey, hey, hey, hey. Listen up, listen up. 219 00:09:02,323 --> 00:09:04,326 You're all my friends, 220 00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:07,503 and friends don't charge friends. 221 00:09:07,590 --> 00:09:09,070 The burgers are free, people![ Cheering ] 222 00:09:09,157 --> 00:09:11,506 Everything is gonna be free! 223 00:09:11,594 --> 00:09:15,163 Bob, I thought the point of staying open during a hurricane was to make money! 224 00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:17,687 This is way more important than money, Lin! 225 00:09:17,774 --> 00:09:19,688 Lobsterfest is dead. 226 00:09:19,775 --> 00:09:21,604 Bobsterfest killed it! 227 00:09:21,691 --> 00:09:24,738 [ Cheering ][ Man ] Long live Bobsterfest! 228 00:09:26,129 --> 00:09:27,740 Looting is hard. 229 00:09:27,827 --> 00:09:29,394 [ Sighs ] I think I'm getting loot glutes. 230 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:32,005 This stuff sucks. Let's go home. 231 00:09:32,962 --> 00:09:34,485 Hello! 232 00:09:34,573 --> 00:09:36,532 What have we here? 233 00:09:36,619 --> 00:09:38,664 Maybe he's lost. Check his collar. 234 00:09:38,751 --> 00:09:40,317 Get him, Gene! 235 00:09:40,404 --> 00:09:43,625 Looks like this little guy got into some office supplies. 236 00:09:43,712 --> 00:09:45,889 Yeah, those rubber bands don't look comfortable. 237 00:09:45,975 --> 00:09:47,847 You should take 'em off. 238 00:09:47,934 --> 00:09:49,763 Aaah! 239 00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:52,417 This is our one chance to see what everyone else is talking about. 240 00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:53,854 What do you mean?Aaah! 241 00:09:53,941 --> 00:09:55,725 We're gonna eat lobster tonight! 242 00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:57,900 But that goes against everything we were raised to believe in! 243 00:09:57,988 --> 00:10:00,469 Aaah!It doesn't go against everything. 244 00:10:00,556 --> 00:10:02,471 Okay? But it's a start.Aaah! 245 00:10:02,557 --> 00:10:05,299 Now's our chance to taste the forbidden fruit... 246 00:10:05,386 --> 00:10:07,562 that has been kept from us our whole lives. 247 00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:09,129 Are you with me? 248 00:10:09,216 --> 00:10:11,174 Yeah!Okay. 249 00:10:11,261 --> 00:10:16,354 And one man's generosity has turned Lobsterfest into Bobsterfest. 250 00:10:16,441 --> 00:10:18,399 We're trying to get a word with Bob himself here. 251 00:10:18,486 --> 00:10:21,620 [ Slurring ] I love you, Scott Bags! 252 00:10:21,707 --> 00:10:23,317 [ Chuckles ] Yeah, there's a cable on that. 253 00:10:23,404 --> 00:10:25,145 You can't go over there.You come with me! 254 00:10:25,232 --> 00:10:26,668 Yeah, okay.You come with me! 255 00:10:26,755 --> 00:10:28,322 Can I get my mic back, please? 256 00:10:28,409 --> 00:10:30,280 You come up and get it.Give me the mic! 257 00:10:30,368 --> 00:10:32,196 - [ Chanting ] Bob! Bob! Bob! - Whoa! Oh, wow! 258 00:10:32,283 --> 00:10:34,110 This feels weird! 259 00:10:34,197 --> 00:10:37,898 - Hey, bro. - Did I hook you up or what, Hugo? 260 00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:39,551 Whoo! 261 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,509 Hey, where are we going now? Over here? 262 00:10:41,596 --> 00:10:45,209 Who decides which way we go? There's Linda, my wife! 263 00:10:45,296 --> 00:10:47,602 Hey, Linda, you look mad. 264 00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:49,431 Let's go the other way. Turn around. 265 00:10:49,518 --> 00:10:51,650 Bye, Linda. 266 00:10:54,436 --> 00:10:55,915 How you feeling, Bob? 267 00:10:56,003 --> 00:10:57,787 [ Groans ] What? 268 00:10:57,874 --> 00:11:00,921 Oh, my God. Lin! The restaurant's destroyed. 269 00:11:01,008 --> 00:11:02,923 The hurricane swept right through here. We got hit! 270 00:11:03,009 --> 00:11:05,099 Actually, the hurricane missed us, Bob. 271 00:11:05,186 --> 00:11:06,577 [ Birds Twittering ]It's beautiful out. 272 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,058 ♪♪ [ Humming ] Hmm. 273 00:11:09,145 --> 00:11:11,278 You were the hurricane, schmuck! 274 00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:15,936 [ Groans ]Hey, Gretchen. 275 00:11:16,023 --> 00:11:18,024 Do you have some sweat pants I can put on? 276 00:11:21,288 --> 00:11:23,508 [ Groaning ] Linda. 277 00:11:23,595 --> 00:11:25,727 Uh, Linda. 278 00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:27,469 I don't feel well.I can't even look at you. 279 00:11:27,556 --> 00:11:29,905 I don't feel well. I did this? 280 00:11:29,993 --> 00:11:32,429 You and the mob you incited with free beer and burgers. 281 00:11:33,779 --> 00:11:35,650 Oh, who bent my little spindle thing? 282 00:11:35,738 --> 00:11:37,260 That's what you notice? 283 00:11:37,347 --> 00:11:39,133 Okay, Lin, it looks bad now, 284 00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:41,395 but we made a lot of new friends last night. 285 00:11:41,482 --> 00:11:43,485 Once word spreads that Bob needs help, 286 00:11:43,572 --> 00:11:45,529 this place will be jammed again. 287 00:11:45,616 --> 00:11:49,056 The biggest problem is gonna be finding a job for everybody who wants one. 288 00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:51,623 Do you remember where we bought this? I really love it. 289 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:55,409 ♪♪ [ Funky Guitar ] [ Man ] Ahhh! 290 00:11:55,496 --> 00:11:59,806 Okay, technical problems from last night have been resolved. 291 00:11:59,893 --> 00:12:02,982 Hair dryer plus waffle iron plus toaster... 292 00:12:03,070 --> 00:12:05,201 equals boiling water. 293 00:12:05,288 --> 00:12:07,291 So how do we kill this guy before we boil him? 294 00:12:07,378 --> 00:12:08,857 We could teach the lobster to drive... 295 00:12:08,945 --> 00:12:10,380 and wait until it gets into an accident. 296 00:12:10,467 --> 00:12:12,861 Orwe could hire an assassin. 297 00:12:12,948 --> 00:12:15,255 No, idiots, you boil lobsters alive. 298 00:12:15,342 --> 00:12:17,388 What? That doesn't sound right. 299 00:12:17,475 --> 00:12:19,389 Yep. Until he's dead. 300 00:12:19,476 --> 00:12:22,088 And then we boil him some more. Here we go. 301 00:12:22,176 --> 00:12:24,394 Wait, this doesn't feel right. 302 00:12:24,481 --> 00:12:27,398 Doing it in a dark room with toilet paper around my neck? 303 00:12:27,485 --> 00:12:29,573 I thought my first time eating lobster would be special. 304 00:12:29,661 --> 00:12:32,663 [ Man ] And now please join Mr. and Mrs. Jimmy Jr.... 305 00:12:32,751 --> 00:12:35,405 as they eat their first lobster!Mmm, mmm. 306 00:12:35,493 --> 00:12:37,278 Mmm. Mmm. 307 00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:39,846 I thought my first time eating lobster would be different too. 308 00:12:39,932 --> 00:12:42,152 [ Crowd Chanting ] Gene! Gene! Gene![ Gene Farting ] 309 00:12:42,239 --> 00:12:45,764 They're waiting for you in the hot tub, Gene.Excellent! 310 00:12:45,851 --> 00:12:48,811 Whee! [ Chomping ] 311 00:12:48,898 --> 00:12:52,379 And the next day do it again-- same songs, different lobsters. 312 00:12:52,466 --> 00:12:53,903 What's the matter with you two? 313 00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:55,338 Come on, Louise. 314 00:12:55,426 --> 00:12:57,037 Is this really how you imagined your first time? 315 00:12:57,124 --> 00:12:58,559 Yes. 316 00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,996 [ Sighs ] Okay, not quite. 317 00:13:01,083 --> 00:13:04,522 [ Man ] Louise, today you pay the super price... 318 00:13:04,609 --> 00:13:07,003 for your super crimes. 319 00:13:07,090 --> 00:13:09,135 Enjoy your last meal. 320 00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:11,442 It'll do just fine-- in a pinch! 321 00:13:11,528 --> 00:13:14,053 [ Both Screaming ] 322 00:13:14,140 --> 00:13:16,577 Maybe we have been rushing things. 323 00:13:16,664 --> 00:13:19,537 I want to wait till I'm ready. Let's not give in to peer pressure. 324 00:13:19,624 --> 00:13:23,062 Let's release the lobster back into the supermarket from whence he came! 325 00:13:23,149 --> 00:13:24,673 I guess you're right. 326 00:13:24,759 --> 00:13:26,980 Looks like this guy's the one that got a-- Oh, whoops! 327 00:13:29,286 --> 00:13:31,592 I guess we're having lobster.It was meant to be. 328 00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:34,465 When you get married, just pretend it's your first time eating lobster. 329 00:13:34,552 --> 00:13:36,684 No problem. 330 00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:38,381 [ Man On P.A. ] Down it comes! 331 00:13:38,469 --> 00:13:40,820 This stunning butter sculpture, the likeness of Julia Child, 332 00:13:40,907 --> 00:13:43,125 was made from every available stick and pat of butter... 333 00:13:43,212 --> 00:13:45,040 within the local and outlying communities. 334 00:13:45,128 --> 00:13:46,956 Oh! And there goes Julia's feet! 335 00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:49,610 What? Lobsterfest is back on? 336 00:13:49,697 --> 00:13:53,397 Hey, guys, um, you're not going to Lobsterfest, are you? 337 00:13:53,484 --> 00:13:55,095 Uh--Uh-- 338 00:13:55,182 --> 00:13:57,270 I'm in kind of a bind, fellas. 339 00:13:57,357 --> 00:13:59,316 There's a mailbox in the middle of my restaurant. 340 00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:01,057 Oh! Can you mail this for me? 341 00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:02,841 Wait. Hey, guys? 342 00:14:02,928 --> 00:14:05,192 There he is, my buddy, Hugo! 343 00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:07,193 Hi.Oh, hi, Bob. 344 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,543 Hi, Bobby.What are you both doing right now? 345 00:14:09,630 --> 00:14:12,590 My, uh, place, uh, happened to get destroyed last night. 346 00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:14,114 Oh, really?Yeah. 347 00:14:14,201 --> 00:14:15,679 In the middle of--Bob, I'm very busy. 348 00:14:15,767 --> 00:14:17,943 I have tables and tables of bisque to judge. 349 00:14:18,030 --> 00:14:19,770 Hey, I hooked you two up last night, 350 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,730 and you guys kind of broke the baby-changing station in the bathroom. 351 00:14:22,817 --> 00:14:25,168 [ Chuckles ] Slap him with a citation, Hugo. 352 00:14:25,254 --> 00:14:27,518 I want to watch.Baby likes civil authority? 353 00:14:27,605 --> 00:14:30,043 Yes, I love civil authority.I'll show baby civil authority. 354 00:14:30,129 --> 00:14:32,567 Stilts guy! You fell through my window. 355 00:14:32,653 --> 00:14:34,350 Lot of glass on the floor. 356 00:14:34,437 --> 00:14:36,222 Where you going?Got to go, Bob! 357 00:14:36,309 --> 00:14:38,702 If I stay still too long, I fall over! 358 00:14:38,789 --> 00:14:41,140 P-People! Wait! Stop! 359 00:14:41,227 --> 00:14:42,706 Wait! People! 360 00:14:42,793 --> 00:14:44,971 Do you think you can just ignore me? 361 00:14:45,057 --> 00:14:46,798 [ Both Slurping ] 362 00:14:46,885 --> 00:14:50,672 Well, as far as accidental death goes, this one was pretty tasty. 363 00:14:50,759 --> 00:14:53,370 I feel tingly. Do you feel tingly? 364 00:14:53,456 --> 00:14:56,155 I think he's having an allergic reaction. We should do something. 365 00:14:56,243 --> 00:14:58,331 Yeah, let's sit on him and see if he pops. 366 00:14:58,418 --> 00:15:00,115 [ Shouts ][ Groans ] 367 00:15:00,202 --> 00:15:02,726 No, we should take him to Lobsterfest. They have a medical tent. 368 00:15:02,813 --> 00:15:04,424 And I could get more lobster! 369 00:15:04,511 --> 00:15:08,081 Oh, pop!I'm trying! 370 00:15:08,168 --> 00:15:11,910 Let's hear it for John Van Horton and the Music Extrusion! 371 00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:14,956 Uh, it's me. Bob! 372 00:15:15,043 --> 00:15:17,307 - [ Man Shouting ] Lobsterfest rocks! - Bob. Bob. 373 00:15:17,394 --> 00:15:19,788 - Bob. - [ Man ] Get off the stage! 374 00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:21,658 [ Chuckling ] Okay, settle down. 375 00:15:21,745 --> 00:15:24,879 Listen, what's going on here? What are we doing?♪♪ [ Guitar Tuning ] 376 00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:29,231 Last thing I remember, you were all in my place and it was Bobsterfest. 377 00:15:29,318 --> 00:15:32,278 I want to get back to that. Let's go back to that! 378 00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:33,975 Or at the very least, 379 00:15:34,062 --> 00:15:36,326 40 or 50 of you come with me right now... 380 00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:38,546 and help me clean up the restaurant! 381 00:15:38,633 --> 00:15:40,243 ♪♪ [ Guitar: Sour Note ]Not all at once. 382 00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:41,897 [ Man ] Clean it yourself! 383 00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:44,159 Whoa, Dad's on the stage at Lobsterfest. 384 00:15:44,246 --> 00:15:47,076 My eyes don't work. Paint me a word picture. 385 00:15:47,163 --> 00:15:48,947 Kids? What are you doing here? 386 00:15:49,034 --> 00:15:52,038 - Nothing. - What's wrong with Gene? He looks horrible. 387 00:15:52,125 --> 00:15:55,128 - He looks like he always looks. - No, he doesn't. Does he? 388 00:15:55,215 --> 00:15:58,566 Looks like an allergic-- [ Gasps ] Did you eat lobster? 389 00:15:58,653 --> 00:16:00,784 I, uh--He refuses to answer that. 390 00:16:00,871 --> 00:16:02,787 What's wrong with you people? 391 00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:05,312 - Look at my son! - Hello. 392 00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:09,576 You did this! You and your disgusting food fetish! 393 00:16:09,663 --> 00:16:12,405 Bob, get off the stage. You're disorderly. 394 00:16:12,493 --> 00:16:16,018 Oh, yeah? Maybe I should get disorderly with this lobster pot here. 395 00:16:16,105 --> 00:16:17,889 That's right, you heard me-- 396 00:16:17,976 --> 00:16:19,847 You trash my restaurant, I trash Lobsterfest-- 397 00:16:19,934 --> 00:16:21,631 starting with this lobster pot. 398 00:16:21,719 --> 00:16:23,807 [ Sizzles ]Ow! It's hot. Let's leave that alone. 399 00:16:23,894 --> 00:16:25,767 Oh, but I-I see some butter. 400 00:16:25,854 --> 00:16:28,725 You wouldn't like it if someone messed with your precious butter! 401 00:16:28,812 --> 00:16:31,163 Like stuff a big, hairy toe in it! 402 00:16:31,250 --> 00:16:34,471 Bob, put your foot back in your sock slowly. 403 00:16:34,557 --> 00:16:39,302 I'm authorizing myself to use my brand-new beanbag gun to subdue you. 404 00:16:39,389 --> 00:16:41,477 Excuse me. I'm sorry. Excuse me. excuse me. 405 00:16:41,565 --> 00:16:44,177 Bob! No! This isn't you! 406 00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:45,917 This isme, Linda! 407 00:16:46,004 --> 00:16:48,224 This is the me that they made. 408 00:16:48,311 --> 00:16:50,618 And look what they did to our son. 409 00:16:50,705 --> 00:16:52,489 That's not how he normally looks, is it? 410 00:16:52,576 --> 00:16:53,969 Bobby, listen to me. 411 00:16:54,056 --> 00:16:55,187 Excuse me. I'm sorry. Oh, sorry. 412 00:16:55,274 --> 00:16:56,798 You don't have to keep moving! 413 00:16:56,884 --> 00:16:58,929 You're not a bottom-feeder, Bob! 414 00:17:00,758 --> 00:17:03,717 No, I'm not a bottom-feeder. 415 00:17:03,804 --> 00:17:05,588 I'm a burger man. 416 00:17:05,675 --> 00:17:08,983 [ Sniffles ] All right, I'm leaving. 417 00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:11,464 I'm sure that's what everybody wants. 418 00:17:11,551 --> 00:17:13,989 - Oh, what happens if I-- Oh, whoops! - Ow! 419 00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:15,903 Ow! 420 00:17:15,990 --> 00:17:18,079 [ Crowd Exclaims, Murmurs ] 421 00:17:18,166 --> 00:17:20,256 Bobby, are you okay? Excuse me. Uh, excuse me. 422 00:17:22,127 --> 00:17:23,780 Oh, my God! 423 00:17:23,867 --> 00:17:25,347 All the butter's been contaminated by Bob, 424 00:17:25,434 --> 00:17:27,307 and there isn't any more in town! 425 00:17:27,394 --> 00:17:28,351 Aaah! 426 00:17:30,570 --> 00:17:33,355 [ Chattering ] 427 00:17:33,442 --> 00:17:35,141 Bob destroyed Lobsterfest! 428 00:17:35,228 --> 00:17:37,317 Can't you just eat lobster without butter? 429 00:17:37,403 --> 00:17:39,362 [ Crowd Shouts ] 430 00:17:39,449 --> 00:17:41,451 Well, why don't you call it Butterfest? 431 00:17:41,538 --> 00:17:43,932 - It brings out the succulence, jerk! - Yeah! 432 00:17:44,019 --> 00:17:46,978 - So what should we do with him? - Throw him in the shell pile! 433 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:50,155 - Shell pile? - [ Muffled ] Shell pile! Shell pile! 434 00:17:50,242 --> 00:17:52,548 [ Chanting ] Shell pile! Shell pile! Shell pile! Shell pile! 435 00:17:52,635 --> 00:17:55,596 - Oh, boy. - Excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry. 436 00:17:55,682 --> 00:17:57,902 Maybe Bob shouldn't have threatened your butter, 437 00:17:57,989 --> 00:18:00,470 and he definitely should have charged you for the burgers-- 438 00:18:00,557 --> 00:18:02,124 [ Booing ] 439 00:18:02,211 --> 00:18:04,821 but he opened his beautiful heart last night, 440 00:18:04,909 --> 00:18:07,433 and you boiled it alive like a lobster! 441 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,435 All you're doing is making us hungrier! 442 00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:11,699 - Shell pile! - Shell pile! 443 00:18:11,786 --> 00:18:13,701 Sorry, Bobby. I used a bad analogy. 444 00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:15,659 Hugo, this doesn't seem right. 445 00:18:15,746 --> 00:18:18,531 What? I have a girlfriend; Bob's about to be thrown onto a shell pile-- 446 00:18:18,618 --> 00:18:20,621 I've had this exact fantasy. 447 00:18:20,708 --> 00:18:22,275 [ Ron ] Come on, Hugo. 448 00:18:22,362 --> 00:18:24,493 If Bob hadn't been your wingman last night, 449 00:18:24,580 --> 00:18:26,713 you'd be another lonely guy in a satin sash. 450 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:28,367 I was doing fine! 451 00:18:28,454 --> 00:18:30,847 I don't needa wingman! 452 00:18:30,934 --> 00:18:32,459 Oh, no? 453 00:18:34,721 --> 00:18:38,073 [ Ron ] ♪ Wingman, flying with the eagles ♪ 454 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:41,076 ♪ Wingman, he's trying to help you out ♪ 455 00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:44,471 ♪ Wingman, Wingman ♪ 456 00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:47,647 ♪ Wingman, Wingman ♪ 457 00:18:47,734 --> 00:18:49,824 ♪ Wingman ♪♪ 458 00:18:49,911 --> 00:18:51,565 [ Groans ] Damn it, Ron! 459 00:18:51,652 --> 00:18:53,348 All right, attention, people! 460 00:18:53,435 --> 00:18:55,655 Stop it, everyone! Slow down! 461 00:18:55,742 --> 00:18:57,570 I'm the health inspector. 462 00:18:57,657 --> 00:19:01,356 Someone once told me that's like being the food sheriff. 463 00:19:01,443 --> 00:19:05,578 This vat of butter isn't contaminated by Bob until I say so! 464 00:19:05,665 --> 00:19:08,885 I have with me a dairy purity spectrometer. 465 00:19:08,972 --> 00:19:11,105 - Oh! - Now, give me some room. 466 00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:12,759 Give him some room! 467 00:19:12,846 --> 00:19:14,326 Thank you, Gretchen. 468 00:19:15,327 --> 00:19:17,416 Ow! You stabbed me! 469 00:19:17,503 --> 00:19:19,983 That's just epinephrine. You're in anaphylactic shock. 470 00:19:20,070 --> 00:19:21,855 Mm, you're a handsome shrimp. 471 00:19:21,942 --> 00:19:23,683 You just jumped to the top of my list. 472 00:19:23,770 --> 00:19:25,250 It's a mating list for when the world ends. 473 00:19:25,337 --> 00:19:27,035 Can I get your e-mail?No. 474 00:19:27,122 --> 00:19:29,167 I have finished my butter analysis. 475 00:19:31,996 --> 00:19:35,391 Bob's skin flakes, arm hair and fingernail dirt are all present. 476 00:19:35,478 --> 00:19:38,567 - [ Together ] No! - Let me finish! 477 00:19:38,654 --> 00:19:41,441 They're present, but not at threatening levels. 478 00:19:41,528 --> 00:19:44,095 The butter is grade "C" to D-minus. 479 00:19:44,182 --> 00:19:47,447 Fit for everyone except babies and people with compromised immune systems. 480 00:19:47,534 --> 00:19:49,797 In other words, get your bib on! 481 00:19:49,884 --> 00:19:51,929 [ Cheering ] 482 00:19:54,018 --> 00:19:56,673 Man, that was the best Lobsterfest ever. 483 00:19:56,759 --> 00:20:00,328 Yeah. Turns out people are hard on the outside and soft on the inside. 484 00:20:00,415 --> 00:20:02,288 Like, uh-- 485 00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:04,115 Like, uh-- 486 00:20:04,202 --> 00:20:06,161 Uh-- 487 00:20:06,248 --> 00:20:08,771 Oh, I don't know. Like a-- like a crab. 488 00:20:08,858 --> 00:20:11,252 Yup. People are just like crabs. 489 00:20:11,339 --> 00:20:13,820 And we witnessed the birth of a new tradition-- 490 00:20:13,907 --> 00:20:16,605 Every year on Lobsterfest Eve, we trash Bob's place.No, no, no, no. 491 00:20:16,692 --> 00:20:18,565 Right?Let's start now! 492 00:20:18,652 --> 00:20:21,611 Gene, you swear you didn't have lobster? 493 00:20:21,698 --> 00:20:22,960 You've always looked like this? 494 00:20:23,047 --> 00:20:24,527 I was born like this. 495 00:20:24,614 --> 00:20:26,615 Uh, I need a picture to compare. 496 00:20:26,702 --> 00:20:28,488 Oh, my God. 497 00:20:28,575 --> 00:20:30,924 You do always look like this.[ Gene, Muffled ] Hello, gorgeous! 498 00:20:31,011 --> 00:20:32,665 [ Growls ][ Bell Rings ] 499 00:20:32,752 --> 00:20:36,278 Bob, Linda.Hey, Hugo. Where's Gretchen? 500 00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:38,453 She's a firecracker, that Gretchen. 501 00:20:38,540 --> 00:20:40,586 You sure she's not more than you can handle, Hugo? 502 00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:42,371 Gretchen just broke up with me. 503 00:20:42,458 --> 00:20:43,980 She said she was more than I could handle. 504 00:20:44,067 --> 00:20:45,592 Oh.It was ugly. 505 00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:48,028 She said she didn't mind a small badge, 506 00:20:48,115 --> 00:20:50,727 but said I didn't know how to use it, Bob! 507 00:20:50,814 --> 00:20:51,902 [ Together ] Ouch. 508 00:20:51,989 --> 00:20:53,512 Oh, that's too bad. 509 00:20:53,599 --> 00:20:55,905 I don't need your pity! 510 00:20:55,992 --> 00:21:00,171 - So! Here we are. Surprise inspection! - Oh. 511 00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:01,259 Pencil![ Ron ] Pencil. 512 00:21:01,346 --> 00:21:02,434 Pad!Pad. 513 00:21:02,521 --> 00:21:06,394 Ooh, bent spindle. Ron! Shut it down! 514 00:21:06,481 --> 00:21:08,354 [ Lobsterfest Announcer ] Let's here it for John Van Horton... 515 00:21:08,441 --> 00:21:11,574 and the Music Extrusion! [ Man ] Check. 516 00:21:11,661 --> 00:21:14,446 ♪♪ [ Drumroll ] [ Amplifier Feedback ] 517 00:21:16,536 --> 00:21:18,711 ♪♪ [ Electric Guitar Tuning ] 518 00:21:18,798 --> 00:21:20,234 [ Man ] It's this one here! [ Feedback Continues ] 519 00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:21,845 [ Man #2, Indistinct ] It's this one. 520 00:21:21,932 --> 00:21:24,760 Turn it off! Turn it off! 521 00:21:24,847 --> 00:21:26,501 [ Feedback Stops ] 522 00:21:28,068 --> 00:21:29,548 [ Man #3 ] You suck! 523 00:21:31,942 --> 00:21:33,769 ♪♪ [ Guitar Chord ] Play something! 524 00:21:33,856 --> 00:21:36,032 [ Man #1 ] One, two, three, four!