1 00:00:21,978 --> 00:00:23,457 It looks like a pickle slice, 2 00:00:23,545 --> 00:00:24,632 but furry. 3 00:00:24,719 --> 00:00:26,199 I think it's a message... 4 00:00:26,286 --> 00:00:27,940 from someone or something, 5 00:00:28,027 --> 00:00:30,551 trying to warn us about someone or something. 6 00:00:30,638 --> 00:00:32,161 [ Gene ] It's a booger. 7 00:00:32,249 --> 00:00:33,859 Kids, off the seats. 8 00:00:33,945 --> 00:00:35,774 Oh, sorry, sir. That was my butt.Hmm! 9 00:00:35,860 --> 00:00:37,862 What are you looking at?Smart money's on boogers. 10 00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:39,343 It's not a booger. 11 00:00:39,429 --> 00:00:41,389 Let the man think for himself! 12 00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:43,390 I don't think it's a booger.Who asked you? 13 00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:44,869 It's getting bigger. 14 00:00:44,957 --> 00:00:46,567 It knows what we're thinking. 15 00:00:46,655 --> 00:00:48,134 [ Bob ] Huh. It is definitely growing. 16 00:00:48,222 --> 00:00:50,006 I just hope it's not that green mold. 17 00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:51,920 It's called green mold. 18 00:00:52,008 --> 00:00:53,966 You see it in a lot of beach towns... 19 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,447 and filthy, disgusting, poorly managed restaurants. 20 00:00:56,533 --> 00:00:59,667 Hey!They had to send you, Hugo? No one else does this? 21 00:00:59,755 --> 00:01:02,975 I just got mold-certified. In a month, I'll be cleared for vermin too. 22 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,846 Oh, congratulations. 23 00:01:04,933 --> 00:01:07,501 Okay, Gene. If you eat this mold, I'll give you five-- 24 00:01:07,588 --> 00:01:09,069 [ Munching ]Whoa. 25 00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:10,635 Mmm! Gorgonzola. 26 00:01:10,721 --> 00:01:13,028 So what do I gotta do? Use bleach on it or something? 27 00:01:13,115 --> 00:01:15,813 [ Laughs ] Use bleach on it? "Oh, I'll just put bleach on it." 28 00:01:15,900 --> 00:01:17,555 No, of course not, Bob. 29 00:01:17,641 --> 00:01:20,471 - I hate you. - This is big. You have to close. 30 00:01:20,557 --> 00:01:22,777 The whole building will have to be tented for 48 hours. 31 00:01:22,864 --> 00:01:25,085 Great. There goes our weekend revenue. 32 00:01:25,171 --> 00:01:28,087 Ooh, two days off. Bobby, we could use it. 33 00:01:28,174 --> 00:01:30,394 I guess it has been a while since we've had a break. 34 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:32,091 Yeah. Ten years. 35 00:01:32,179 --> 00:01:33,789 What? That's-- Can't be right. 36 00:01:33,876 --> 00:01:36,270 Ten years! 37 00:01:36,356 --> 00:01:38,750 You're really living the dream, Linda. 38 00:01:38,837 --> 00:01:41,275 Aren't you done, Hugo?Sure, Bob. I'm done. 39 00:01:41,361 --> 00:01:44,103 [ Shouting ] Mold! Dangerous killer mold! 40 00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:45,930 Floating death spores! Everyone move! 41 00:01:46,018 --> 00:01:49,325 Gene, how are you feeling?Kind of nauseous, a little light-headed. 42 00:01:49,412 --> 00:01:51,414 Pretty good. Glad I ate it. 43 00:01:51,502 --> 00:01:53,808 You say that about everything.Yeah. 44 00:01:53,896 --> 00:01:55,637 Green mold, huh?Yeah. 45 00:01:55,723 --> 00:01:57,639 You ever dealt with this stuff, Mort?Oh, sure. 46 00:01:57,725 --> 00:01:59,989 We get all kinds of moldy bodies at the home. 47 00:02:00,075 --> 00:02:02,209 Not on the bodies. I mean on the walls or-- 48 00:02:02,296 --> 00:02:04,079 And you should see the shut-ins.Stop. 49 00:02:04,167 --> 00:02:07,605 One guy's back looked like a putting green.Oh, dear Lord. 50 00:02:07,692 --> 00:02:10,433 Hey, you got to get out of the apartment while the mold guys work, right? 51 00:02:10,521 --> 00:02:12,436 Yeah. We're gonna go to a motel. 52 00:02:12,522 --> 00:02:15,699 And we're going to tear into that minibar!We're gonna go on a bender. 53 00:02:15,787 --> 00:02:17,485 No, we're not.Yes, we are. 54 00:02:17,572 --> 00:02:20,227 I'm gonna drink some Baileys and unwind. 55 00:02:20,313 --> 00:02:22,359 Hey, guys. Stay with me. 56 00:02:22,445 --> 00:02:24,969 No, I mean, I appreciate the offer, but I-- 57 00:02:25,056 --> 00:02:28,408 Listen to me. I live alone... in an enormous apartment... 58 00:02:28,496 --> 00:02:30,889 that happens to be above a funeral home.Hmm. 59 00:02:30,975 --> 00:02:33,021 So come on. Stay with me.Aw. 60 00:02:33,109 --> 00:02:34,545 - Thanks, Mort. - Yeah, yeah! 61 00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:36,372 Linda, seriously, you want to stay in a funeral home? 62 00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:39,376 Yes, yes, yes!Why not? It'll be fun. Is it spooky? 63 00:02:39,462 --> 00:02:42,509 You mean, do I have a medicine cabinet full of corpse moisturizers? 64 00:02:42,597 --> 00:02:44,206 Ooh! 65 00:02:44,293 --> 00:02:47,514 Yes. Do they make my skin soft as a baby? You decide. 66 00:02:47,602 --> 00:02:49,865 [ Gasps ] It's not greasy either. 67 00:02:49,951 --> 00:02:52,781 Tina, touch.[ Groans ] 68 00:02:52,867 --> 00:02:54,478 Come on! Go get your toothbrushes. 69 00:02:54,564 --> 00:02:56,045 Yeah, yeah! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! 70 00:02:59,743 --> 00:03:01,092 [ All ] ♪ Weekend at Mort's ♪ 71 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,834 ♪ We're gonna have a weekend at Mort's ♪ 72 00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:04,270 [ Linda ] Uh, uh, uh! 73 00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:05,663 ♪ Weekend at Mort's ♪[ Doorbell Rings ] 74 00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:07,838 ♪ We're gonna have a weekend at Mort's ♪♪ 75 00:03:07,925 --> 00:03:09,537 Follow me to your rooms. 76 00:03:10,493 --> 00:03:12,496 Urn. Another urn. 77 00:03:12,582 --> 00:03:15,543 That's an award I won for best urn. 78 00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:18,502 Okay, kids. Don't climb on anything. Don't touch anything. 79 00:03:18,588 --> 00:03:20,764 If you do touch something, don't touch me afterwards... 80 00:03:20,852 --> 00:03:22,158 and don't play with dead bodies. 81 00:03:22,245 --> 00:03:23,899 Do you think he's gonna have skulls? 82 00:03:23,985 --> 00:03:26,423 What do you think he eats soup out of? 83 00:03:26,509 --> 00:03:29,905 Do you think he's gonna have a drawer full of gum that he takes out of corpse pockets? 84 00:03:29,991 --> 00:03:31,602 'Cause if he does, I want some. 85 00:03:31,688 --> 00:03:32,820 Shh!Here we go. 86 00:03:34,823 --> 00:03:36,389 [ Door Creaks ][ All Gasp ] 87 00:03:38,695 --> 00:03:41,221 [ Linda ] Hey, I'm not horrified at all. Aw. 88 00:03:41,307 --> 00:03:43,048 [ Bob ] Wow, I didn't know you were rich. 89 00:03:43,134 --> 00:03:45,485 Kids, off the furniture.Well, I get a lot of stuff cheap. 90 00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:47,487 Everything in here had someone die on it. 91 00:03:47,574 --> 00:03:49,098 Kids, off the furniture! 92 00:03:49,185 --> 00:03:51,622 Your room's right down the hall.All right, kids. Let's go. 93 00:03:51,709 --> 00:03:54,234 No, leave the kids. This weekend, I'm Uncle Mort. 94 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,627 You seriously want to watch my kids? 95 00:03:56,713 --> 00:03:58,586 [ Clicking ]♪♪ [ Fragments ] 96 00:03:58,673 --> 00:04:00,151 [ Mort ] Uhh. 97 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,764 [ Nervous Chuckle ] Yes! The whole weekend. 98 00:04:02,850 --> 00:04:04,808 This should be a vacation for you two. 99 00:04:04,895 --> 00:04:07,594 Oh, we can make it the honeymoon we never had. 100 00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:11,120 Sure. You know, I got the bed you're sleeping in because a man died in it... 101 00:04:11,206 --> 00:04:13,861 making love, huh? 102 00:04:13,949 --> 00:04:15,603 Good God.Mm-hmm. 103 00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,300 It's a haunted honeymoon. 104 00:04:17,387 --> 00:04:18,910 [ Ghostly Moaning ] 105 00:04:18,997 --> 00:04:24,612 [ Kids Moaning And Groaning ] 106 00:04:26,961 --> 00:04:28,137 Ah! [ Grunts ] 107 00:04:32,836 --> 00:04:35,012 [ Linda ] Two whole days off from the restaurant. Oh! 108 00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:37,754 I know.What are we gonna do with ourselves? 109 00:04:37,841 --> 00:04:40,018 I know what I'm gonna do. First, I'm gonna take these off. 110 00:04:40,105 --> 00:04:42,019 Oh!These bad boys. 111 00:04:42,106 --> 00:04:43,413 Bobby.Hmm? 112 00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:45,720 You gonna slip into something more comfortable? 113 00:04:45,807 --> 00:04:47,461 And I'm gonna get these on. 114 00:04:47,548 --> 00:04:49,505 [ Gasps ] Oh, are those your, uh-- 115 00:04:49,593 --> 00:04:51,725 My lazy pants? Yes. 116 00:04:51,812 --> 00:04:54,423 Well, I guess they come off easy. 117 00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:56,947 And, uh, now I will get this guy out. 118 00:04:57,034 --> 00:04:59,211 Ah, uh-huh, uh-huh. 119 00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:01,430 And let the vacation begin. 120 00:05:01,517 --> 00:05:02,911 What the hell is that? 121 00:05:02,997 --> 00:05:05,216 - It's my model. - Since when do you do models? 122 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:08,220 It's a hobby of mine, Lin. From back when I could still have hobbies. 123 00:05:08,307 --> 00:05:12,615 I just relax, turn my brain off and enjoy the thrill of the build. 124 00:05:12,702 --> 00:05:14,661 The bus from Speed?Yeah, the bus from Speed. 125 00:05:14,749 --> 00:05:16,098 [ Chorus ] ♪ Bus fromSpeed ♪ 126 00:05:16,185 --> 00:05:18,230 I didn't know you liked that movie so much. 127 00:05:18,317 --> 00:05:21,059 I never saw it. I don't like to see the movie until I finish the model. 128 00:05:21,146 --> 00:05:22,582 Hmm.Makes it more fun. 129 00:05:22,670 --> 00:05:25,281 Wouldn't it be more fun if we did something together? 130 00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:27,891 Like, uh, like couples manicures? 131 00:05:27,978 --> 00:05:29,764 Or couples waxing? 132 00:05:29,850 --> 00:05:32,244 [ Gasps ] You could get a manzilian. 133 00:05:32,331 --> 00:05:34,812 That stuff is for people who are dating, Linda. 134 00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:38,728 We-We do other couples stuff. We couples live together. And that's even better. 135 00:05:38,816 --> 00:05:40,774 You know what? I'm gonna go.Okay, good. 136 00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:42,254 I mean, okay.Yeah. 137 00:05:42,341 --> 00:05:45,822 Gonna be all by myself. On my honeymoon, I might add. 138 00:05:45,909 --> 00:05:48,216 It's not our honeymoon, Linda. 139 00:05:48,303 --> 00:05:51,002 Hey, look! Comes with a little Keanu. 140 00:05:51,088 --> 00:05:53,744 Hi, guy. [ High-pitched ] "Hi, Bob. Missed you, buddy." 141 00:05:53,831 --> 00:05:56,747 Oh, for Pete's sakes, you big freak! 142 00:05:56,834 --> 00:06:00,576 Bet you never knew washing out rubber tubing could be such a blast, huh, kids? 143 00:06:00,663 --> 00:06:02,230 Well, I had a feeling. 144 00:06:02,317 --> 00:06:05,495 Who wants to help me glue a toupee on an old man's cadaver? 145 00:06:05,581 --> 00:06:07,540 Yay! This is like camp. 146 00:06:07,627 --> 00:06:09,151 [ Groaning ] 147 00:06:09,237 --> 00:06:12,807 Tina, what's bothering you? The wig or the cadaver? 148 00:06:12,894 --> 00:06:15,375 The cadaver.Wigs can be scary. 149 00:06:15,461 --> 00:06:17,942 You know what? Why don't you kids go ahead and take five? 150 00:06:18,028 --> 00:06:20,466 Explore the morgue. But stay away from my computer. 151 00:06:20,553 --> 00:06:23,252 - Not because of porn. - This computer? 152 00:06:23,338 --> 00:06:25,036 Come on, now.What's this? 153 00:06:25,122 --> 00:06:27,298 "A dating Web site for morticians." 154 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,475 Mort, you got a message! 155 00:06:29,562 --> 00:06:32,216 Yeah. Well, this lady and I have been messaging. 156 00:06:32,303 --> 00:06:34,872 I sent her a wink. She sent me back a kissy face. 157 00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:37,048 Kissy face? That's a big deal. 158 00:06:37,134 --> 00:06:40,007 You need to take this relationship into the real world, Mort. 159 00:06:40,095 --> 00:06:42,052 Yeah! Reality, Mort. 160 00:06:42,139 --> 00:06:43,838 MeetSpace! Get into it. 161 00:06:43,925 --> 00:06:45,622 Nah, I'm not ready. 162 00:06:45,709 --> 00:06:48,189 Ah, you're right, Mort. You're wh-what, 50? 163 00:06:48,276 --> 00:06:49,538 Wait till you're ready. 164 00:06:49,625 --> 00:06:52,542 Fifty? I'm 35 years old. 165 00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:54,588 Huh?If you believe my dating profile. 166 00:06:54,675 --> 00:06:56,284 [ All Laughing ] 167 00:06:56,372 --> 00:06:57,721 Yeah. And... send.[ Beeps ] 168 00:06:57,807 --> 00:06:59,069 What? What'd you do? 169 00:06:59,156 --> 00:07:02,857 Wash your hairpiece, Mort. You're going on a date! 170 00:07:05,555 --> 00:07:06,990 Oh, Keanu. 171 00:07:07,077 --> 00:07:08,731 [ High-pitched ] "Give me long sleeves." 172 00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:10,341 Why? You look great in a "T." 173 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,908 "I don't know. Just switch it up." 174 00:07:11,995 --> 00:07:13,302 Okay. 175 00:07:13,389 --> 00:07:15,826 "No, no. Make me one of those tuxedo T-shirts. 176 00:07:15,913 --> 00:07:17,348 Do that. That'll be funny." 177 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,002 That's stupid. I don't like those. 178 00:07:19,089 --> 00:07:22,137 Ah, I see you're still playing with your dolls. 179 00:07:22,223 --> 00:07:23,399 Mm-hmm. 180 00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:25,574 I just got back from salsa boot camp. 181 00:07:25,661 --> 00:07:27,925 I was the lonely little salsa-ita. All by myself. 182 00:07:28,012 --> 00:07:29,187 "She's back." 183 00:07:29,274 --> 00:07:30,579 Hey, just be cool. 184 00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:33,103 [ Louise ] Mom, Dad, come quick! Oh, my God! 185 00:07:33,191 --> 00:07:34,670 What? What is it? What's wrong? 186 00:07:34,757 --> 00:07:37,194 Oh, nothing. This is just silly. 187 00:07:37,281 --> 00:07:39,110 Mort asked a girl on a date. 188 00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:40,590 A date? 189 00:07:40,677 --> 00:07:42,331 It was the kids' idea. 190 00:07:42,418 --> 00:07:45,942 Yep. I proposed a romantic rendezvous for 8:00 p.m. tonight... 191 00:07:46,029 --> 00:07:48,336 at the elegant Jimmy Pesto's. 192 00:07:48,423 --> 00:07:49,990 What? Jimmy Pesto's? 193 00:07:50,077 --> 00:07:52,341 What? I only know two restaurants. 194 00:07:52,427 --> 00:07:54,343 And they have cloth napkins. 195 00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:56,040 Don't rub it in.Calm down. 196 00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:57,346 Hey, she replied! 197 00:07:57,432 --> 00:07:58,781 Already? Too soon. Am I right? 198 00:07:58,869 --> 00:08:00,175 It's not a good sign. 199 00:08:00,262 --> 00:08:02,656 "Mort, it's a date. See you at eight." 200 00:08:02,742 --> 00:08:04,091 She's a rhymer. 201 00:08:04,178 --> 00:08:06,963 Go, Mort. I mean, it could be fun, two morticians. 202 00:08:07,050 --> 00:08:09,052 Hey, what if you and Linda come too? 203 00:08:09,139 --> 00:08:11,882 No, no.Yeah! A double date! 204 00:08:11,968 --> 00:08:14,754 Oh, but who would watch the kids?Right. Yeah. 205 00:08:14,841 --> 00:08:17,105 Tina can babysit.I can? 206 00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:20,673 Oh, come on. We're a little old to be babysat. 207 00:08:20,761 --> 00:08:23,894 Isn't that an outdated concept?No. 208 00:08:23,980 --> 00:08:28,463 Need I remind you what happened last time she was "in charge"? 209 00:08:29,290 --> 00:08:30,509 Free swim! 210 00:08:30,596 --> 00:08:32,076 Special delivery! 211 00:08:32,903 --> 00:08:34,687 Hobo dinner! 212 00:08:34,774 --> 00:08:37,385 Oh, pshh. We'll just be right across the street. 213 00:08:37,472 --> 00:08:40,171 Tina can call us on the emergency cell phone if she needs to. 214 00:08:40,258 --> 00:08:44,306 All right. You bought the ticket. You take the ride. 215 00:08:44,393 --> 00:08:47,438 Come on, Linda. We shouldn't go to this. It will be bad. 216 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:50,181 Bob, we are going out tonight. 217 00:08:50,268 --> 00:08:52,879 All right, fine, fine.Yay! 218 00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:56,447 But just for a couple hours. And I'm wearing my lazy pants.Okay. 219 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,928 And I'm gonna drink... a lot. 220 00:08:59,015 --> 00:09:01,496 Yay! Double date! All right! 221 00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:04,195 [ Linda Laughing ] Oh! I love it. 222 00:09:04,282 --> 00:09:06,153 I feel like we're in Jamaica. 223 00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:08,851 Ooh! Jamaican honeymoon. 224 00:09:08,938 --> 00:09:12,595 You be just in time for "pastafarian" night with garlic "dreadsticks," mon. 225 00:09:12,682 --> 00:09:13,769 Stop. 226 00:09:13,856 --> 00:09:15,816 Groove with me to--Uh-uh. 227 00:09:15,903 --> 00:09:16,990 I--No. 228 00:09:17,077 --> 00:09:18,340 [ No Accent ] You're such a jerk. 229 00:09:21,951 --> 00:09:25,346 [ Thinking ] I'm a born babysitter. Tina brings the fun. 230 00:09:25,433 --> 00:09:27,697 Now... sparkle. 231 00:09:27,783 --> 00:09:31,875 Hi, Gene. Would you like to play a game? Maybe sing a song? 232 00:09:33,094 --> 00:09:34,748 [ Grunts ] 233 00:09:34,835 --> 00:09:37,053 Uh, Tina, will you join me in the corner for a little powwow? 234 00:09:37,140 --> 00:09:38,054 Okay. 235 00:09:39,403 --> 00:09:41,668 You're dying out there, kid.Yeah. 236 00:09:41,754 --> 00:09:45,105 Everybody hates you.I know. I'm blowing it. 237 00:09:45,192 --> 00:09:47,803 Should I call for help on the emergency phone?Hold on. 238 00:09:47,890 --> 00:09:50,371 Maybe you should think outside the box.Okay. 239 00:09:50,459 --> 00:09:55,419 How many times in our life will we get a chance to wander unsupervised in a morgue? 240 00:09:55,506 --> 00:09:57,683 Yeah. Won't that be scary? 241 00:09:57,770 --> 00:10:01,730 Tina, you don't babysit from here. You babysit from here. 242 00:10:01,817 --> 00:10:04,821 My boob?[ Sighs ] Yes, your boob. 243 00:10:04,908 --> 00:10:06,431 Really?Yeah. 244 00:10:06,518 --> 00:10:09,652 What's your boob telling you, Tina?I don't know. 245 00:10:09,739 --> 00:10:12,263 [ High-pitched ] Explore the morgue. 246 00:10:12,350 --> 00:10:14,744 Explore the morgue?That-a-girl! 247 00:10:17,791 --> 00:10:19,923 [ Gene Screams ] 248 00:10:20,967 --> 00:10:22,317 Sorry, just hungry. 249 00:10:25,581 --> 00:10:28,018 ♪♪ [ Reggae ]♪ Try da ziti tonight ♪ 250 00:10:28,105 --> 00:10:31,239 ♪ Oh, yeah It's on da special tonight ♪ 251 00:10:31,326 --> 00:10:33,720 Bobby, they're playing our song. 252 00:10:33,807 --> 00:10:36,504 What? Our song isn't "Ziti Tonight." 253 00:10:36,591 --> 00:10:38,245 [ Gasps ] Oh, I think that's her! 254 00:10:42,553 --> 00:10:46,341 Mort? I recognize you from the picture on your Web site. 255 00:10:46,427 --> 00:10:49,735 I'm Samantha.Well, it's quite a pleasure to meet you, Samantha. 256 00:10:49,822 --> 00:10:52,259 This is my friend Bob and his lovely wife Linda. 257 00:10:52,346 --> 00:10:54,261 Hi.Hi. We're on our honeymoon. 258 00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:56,743 Oh. Congratulations? 259 00:10:56,830 --> 00:10:58,440 - Thank you. - It's not our honeymoon. 260 00:10:58,527 --> 00:10:59,788 Well, technically-- 261 00:10:59,875 --> 00:11:01,008 Not technically. 262 00:11:01,095 --> 00:11:03,226 First time to Jamaica.Oh, my God. 263 00:11:03,313 --> 00:11:07,100 Sorry for the smell. Long day slaving over the old embalming table. 264 00:11:07,187 --> 00:11:11,582 Well, let me just say that I've been embalming you with my eyes... 265 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,193 since the moment you walked in. 266 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:15,717 [ Giggles ] Mort![ Chuckles ] 267 00:11:15,804 --> 00:11:18,938 Ugh.Hush. It's their special language. 268 00:11:19,025 --> 00:11:20,722 Waiter, do you have anything bigger? 269 00:11:20,809 --> 00:11:22,376 Come on, everybody! 270 00:11:22,463 --> 00:11:24,813 ♪ Try our dessert ♪ 271 00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:27,033 ♪ You gotta have a cannoli ♪♪ 272 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,644 Ooh, cannolis! 273 00:11:31,734 --> 00:11:34,823 Let's move. Oh, how thoughtless of me. 274 00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:38,393 Tina, I'm sure you want to go first, to protect us and stuff. 275 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:41,438 Yeah, Tina. Earn that sweet babysitter cash. 276 00:11:41,525 --> 00:11:44,094 Wait, wait. First, how 'bout a hug? 277 00:11:44,181 --> 00:11:46,443 Hmm?Aw. 278 00:11:46,530 --> 00:11:49,056 - [ Louise ] Mmm. - Come here, Gene. 279 00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:51,100 Mmm. You're a good boy.[ Grunts ] 280 00:11:51,187 --> 00:11:52,798 Uh, weird. 281 00:11:52,885 --> 00:11:55,235 Mmm. 282 00:11:55,322 --> 00:11:56,759 All right. Let's wrap this up. 283 00:11:56,846 --> 00:11:59,719 Okay, I'm ready. I'll go first. 284 00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:01,546 Like a lamb to the slaughter. 285 00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:07,335 Oh, guys! I, uh, I forgot who sang "Funkytown." 286 00:12:07,422 --> 00:12:09,903 I have to go look it up, or it's gonna bug me all night. 287 00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:11,426 You're not going anywhere.Aah! 288 00:12:11,513 --> 00:12:13,080 Keep walking, Tina. 289 00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:14,341 [ Groans ] 290 00:12:16,648 --> 00:12:18,825 [ Whispering ] Are there bodies in those coffins? 291 00:12:18,912 --> 00:12:22,001 With all this green mold around town, better hope not. 292 00:12:22,088 --> 00:12:24,744 What do you mean?You're joking, right? [ Scoffs ] 293 00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:29,399 Only that green mold turns bodies into the living dead.[ Groans ] 294 00:12:29,486 --> 00:12:32,533 Tina, you're a zombiephile. You should know this! 295 00:12:32,620 --> 00:12:35,884 I'm not a zombiephile. I have a complicated relationship with zombies. 296 00:12:35,971 --> 00:12:37,886 They're dangerous, but I love their swagger. 297 00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:39,932 "Funkytown" is by Lipps Incorporated. I just remembered. 298 00:12:40,846 --> 00:12:42,673 The morgue. 299 00:12:43,587 --> 00:12:45,241 Well, here goes nothin'. 300 00:12:46,068 --> 00:12:47,767 [ Tina Groans ] 301 00:12:47,854 --> 00:12:50,769 ♪♪ [ Reggae ][ Laughing ] 302 00:12:52,596 --> 00:12:55,121 Every time they say something horrible, take a drink. 303 00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:57,341 Bob, stop.I'm doin' it. 304 00:12:57,427 --> 00:13:01,475 So, what's the weirdest thing you've ever found in a human body? 305 00:13:01,562 --> 00:13:04,043 - Here we go. - You first. 306 00:13:04,130 --> 00:13:06,220 - Lightbulb. - [ Slurps ] 307 00:13:06,307 --> 00:13:08,613 - A football. - [ Slurps ] 308 00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:10,311 A Far Sidecalendar. 309 00:13:10,398 --> 00:13:12,573 [ Slurps ] Really? Huh. 310 00:13:12,660 --> 00:13:15,924 But most of the time, what I find is lots and lots of-- 311 00:13:16,011 --> 00:13:16,883 [ Together ] Tumors. 312 00:13:16,970 --> 00:13:18,014 Oh! 313 00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:20,321 [ Both Laughing ] 314 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:26,893 Aw, already finishing each other's-- 315 00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:28,458 Oh, my God, no. Linda. 316 00:13:28,546 --> 00:13:30,765 Senten--Stop. 317 00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:32,594 Tencences-- 318 00:13:32,681 --> 00:13:34,422 Sentences.[ Slurps ] 319 00:13:34,509 --> 00:13:37,250 [ Creaking ] 320 00:13:37,337 --> 00:13:40,210 How long does it take to open a door? 321 00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:41,428 Okay. 322 00:13:42,647 --> 00:13:44,432 [ Electrical Buzzing ] 323 00:13:44,519 --> 00:13:45,606 - Aah! - [ Lock Clicks ] 324 00:13:45,693 --> 00:13:48,914 Smells a little moldy... and corpsy. 325 00:13:49,001 --> 00:13:51,091 Bad combo. 326 00:13:51,177 --> 00:13:54,442 I don't think we should be here.Yeah, let's go back upstairs. 327 00:13:54,528 --> 00:13:56,879 You're totally right, guys. 328 00:13:56,966 --> 00:13:59,229 [ Rumbling ] 329 00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:02,798 It's locked.[ Rumbling ] 330 00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:05,452 [ Tina ] Louise, no! 331 00:14:06,802 --> 00:14:07,802 [ Screams ] 332 00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:09,849 [ Vibrating ][ Laughs ] 333 00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:12,328 Silly us. It was only a phone. 334 00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:13,982 [ Sighs ][ Sighs ] 335 00:14:14,070 --> 00:14:15,767 Hello?Who is it? 336 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:16,942 Some stranger. 337 00:14:17,029 --> 00:14:18,379 Hello? 338 00:14:18,466 --> 00:14:21,250 [ Low-pitched ] Have you checked the children? 339 00:14:21,337 --> 00:14:25,777 Mom?[ Sighs ] No. I'm a zombie. 340 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,388 Oh.[ Regular ] No, I'm-- 341 00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:30,739 [ Low-pitched ] I am also a murderer! 342 00:14:30,826 --> 00:14:32,827 [ All Scream ] 343 00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:34,698 ♪♪ [ Reggae ][ Laughing ] 344 00:14:34,786 --> 00:14:37,049 You go, girl. You go, girl.Yeah, mon. 345 00:14:37,136 --> 00:14:40,618 Hey, I gotcha! Come on. Dance with Mommy. Come on. 346 00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:42,316 You drunk enough to be any fun yet? 347 00:14:42,403 --> 00:14:43,794 Yeah, I guess. 348 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:46,581 Bob, Linda. 349 00:14:46,668 --> 00:14:48,408 Hugo, my man! 350 00:14:48,495 --> 00:14:52,326 [ Buzzing Vibration ] 351 00:14:55,024 --> 00:14:56,547 [ Indistinct ] 352 00:14:56,634 --> 00:14:58,809 Linda, I can't do it anymore. 353 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,725 Come on.No. 354 00:15:00,812 --> 00:15:04,773 I'm going home, Lin, to Mort's.Don't you ignore my lasso. 355 00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:07,167 Whoa, doggie. You got me. [ Chuckles ] 356 00:15:07,254 --> 00:15:09,298 Not you, Hugo.Fair enough. 357 00:15:09,385 --> 00:15:13,520 Fine, Bob. We don't need you here anyway, you big, sour blanket. 358 00:15:13,607 --> 00:15:17,003 Who wants to see what I learned today in salsa class? 359 00:15:20,484 --> 00:15:22,746 Ah, guess I can go finish Speedbus. 360 00:15:22,833 --> 00:15:23,923 [ Chorus ] ♪Speed bus ♪ 361 00:15:24,009 --> 00:15:25,315 Then I can watch the movie. 362 00:15:25,402 --> 00:15:26,750 Hope it's as good as the model. 363 00:15:26,837 --> 00:15:28,057 "It is." 364 00:15:28,144 --> 00:15:29,884 Keanu?[ Gene, Tina Screaming ] 365 00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:33,758 Kids? Kids! Keanu, where are they? Downstairs? 366 00:15:33,845 --> 00:15:35,759 "Yeah, probably." Thanks. 367 00:15:35,846 --> 00:15:37,980 Oh, I hate stairs. 368 00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:40,155 "We've been drinking, huh?" You got that right, buddy. 369 00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:42,245 Oh, I feel like I could pass out. 370 00:15:42,331 --> 00:15:45,509 Anybody in there? Hmm. What is that? Satin? 371 00:15:45,596 --> 00:15:48,469 Oh, man, that is calling our name, Keanu. 372 00:15:48,556 --> 00:15:51,254 "Get in there!" Will do, buddy. 373 00:15:51,341 --> 00:15:55,649 [ Grunting ] 374 00:15:58,347 --> 00:16:01,047 Somebody close my bed. 375 00:16:01,134 --> 00:16:03,875 [ Grunts ] I'll get it. 376 00:16:03,962 --> 00:16:07,182 Unlock the door, Louise.We know you have the key. 377 00:16:07,269 --> 00:16:10,143 Nope. I ate it. We'll have to wait till it comes out. 378 00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:12,144 You never poop. We're doomed! 379 00:16:12,231 --> 00:16:13,711 Yep. 380 00:16:13,798 --> 00:16:15,886 [ Snarling ] 381 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,889 What the hell?[ Snarling Loudly ] 382 00:16:17,976 --> 00:16:20,022 It's coming from the next room. 383 00:16:20,109 --> 00:16:22,024 She's messing with us again.No. 384 00:16:22,110 --> 00:16:26,028 I swear. I did this, but I am not doing that. 385 00:16:26,115 --> 00:16:29,989 [ Snort ]I won't get fooled again. I'm the babysitter. 386 00:16:31,860 --> 00:16:34,427 - [ Rumbling Snort ] - [ Tina Screams ] 387 00:16:34,514 --> 00:16:36,995 - [ Snorting Continues ] - [ All Scream ] 388 00:16:38,388 --> 00:16:39,693 [ All Shouting ] 389 00:16:39,780 --> 00:16:41,870 [ Pounding ] 390 00:16:41,956 --> 00:16:44,394 Kids, stop doing that. It's me. 391 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:46,527 [ Bob, Muffled ] Stop hitting the coffin!Duct tape! 392 00:16:46,614 --> 00:16:49,834 [ Louise ] Hit it! Smash it! I don't want to die! 393 00:16:49,921 --> 00:16:52,097 ♪♪ [ Reggae ] 394 00:16:53,620 --> 00:16:54,926 [ Grunting ] 395 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,450 Let me out! Let me out! 396 00:16:56,537 --> 00:16:58,321 Now what?Now... 397 00:16:58,408 --> 00:16:59,844 we cremate it. 398 00:16:59,931 --> 00:17:02,369 Cremate? No! No cremating Dad! 399 00:17:02,456 --> 00:17:04,153 [ Bob, Muffled ] It was a drunk nap! 400 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:07,590 It's trying to sweet-talk us.That's classic zombie. 401 00:17:07,678 --> 00:17:10,811 La, la, la.La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la! 402 00:17:10,898 --> 00:17:12,335 Open the casket! 403 00:17:12,422 --> 00:17:14,163 La, la, la, la!Let me out! 404 00:17:16,512 --> 00:17:20,038 [ Kids ] La, la, la, la, la, la, la! 405 00:17:20,125 --> 00:17:24,346 Kids, it's your father! For the love of God, let me out! 406 00:17:24,433 --> 00:17:26,045 La, la, la, la-- 407 00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:29,003 I'm gonna die alone. And I'm in my lazy pants. 408 00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:30,832 Linda hates these pants. 409 00:17:30,919 --> 00:17:33,703 Damn it! They're coming off! For you, Lin! 410 00:17:33,790 --> 00:17:35,923 Now what?Now we turn it on. 411 00:17:36,010 --> 00:17:38,448 How?Just pull all the levers... a lot. 412 00:17:38,535 --> 00:17:40,363 But they look like robot wieners. 413 00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:42,496 I know!Okay! 414 00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:45,019 [ All Grunting ] 415 00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:48,284 It's not so bad.Keep pulling the robot wieners. 416 00:17:48,371 --> 00:17:50,677 Whoo-hoo! I love reggae. 417 00:17:50,765 --> 00:17:54,769 Don't listen to anyone who says you can't have a perfectly good honeymoon by yourself. 418 00:17:54,855 --> 00:17:56,336 [ Nervous Chuckles ] 419 00:17:56,423 --> 00:17:58,555 Hey, hey! I'm not done. I'm not done. 420 00:17:58,642 --> 00:18:00,688 Let me tell you something. 421 00:18:00,775 --> 00:18:03,038 I haven't known Samantha very long. 422 00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:05,997 But a woman knows when another woman is aroused. 423 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,303 Whoo! 424 00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:09,609 [ Nervous Chuckle ]Heh. 425 00:18:09,696 --> 00:18:11,176 [ Tina ] Turn that thingy while I pull this thingy. 426 00:18:11,263 --> 00:18:13,701 You don't know how. Let me.I'm in charge. 427 00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:15,268 [ Muffled ] All right. Here it goes. 428 00:18:15,355 --> 00:18:19,707 Superhuman strength. You can do it! Oh, what happened? 429 00:18:19,794 --> 00:18:21,056 Dad?Dad? 430 00:18:22,623 --> 00:18:25,669 - Uh-oh. - Oh, my God! I'm gonna die in here! 431 00:18:25,756 --> 00:18:27,192 Dad, I've got you. 432 00:18:27,279 --> 00:18:29,107 [ Bob ] Oh, burning. Coffin on fire. 433 00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:32,849 Aah! [ Panting ] 434 00:18:32,936 --> 00:18:36,593 Oh, yes, air. [ Panting ] 435 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,726 Kids, come here![ Gene, Louise ] Tina's in charge! 436 00:18:38,813 --> 00:18:39,988 Mmm.Oh. 437 00:18:40,075 --> 00:18:41,250 [ Laughing ] 438 00:18:41,336 --> 00:18:41,903 Oh!Aah! 439 00:18:44,035 --> 00:18:45,645 Oh, nowyou come off. 440 00:18:45,732 --> 00:18:48,344 What happened here? My shop's a wreck! 441 00:18:48,431 --> 00:18:51,173 Mort, lady mortician, how's the date going? 442 00:18:51,259 --> 00:18:52,957 Good.Good! 443 00:18:53,044 --> 00:18:57,440 - Are you okay, Bob? - I faced death, Mort. I know things now. 444 00:18:57,527 --> 00:19:01,096 I know. You don't just build a model of life. 445 00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:03,358 You-You watch the movie of life. 446 00:19:03,445 --> 00:19:06,710 You-You get in the mood and make some mortician babies, you two. 447 00:19:06,797 --> 00:19:10,278 Mort, your name, kids are amazing. 448 00:19:10,365 --> 00:19:13,455 Even if they try to burn you alive in a coffin, and they will do that. 449 00:19:13,542 --> 00:19:15,327 [ All ] Yeah.But it's good. 450 00:19:15,414 --> 00:19:18,853 Because you see your whole life pass before you as you're burning. 451 00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:21,115 And every pair of pants you've ever worn. 452 00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:26,164 And you'll see the love of your life, dancing salsa in Jamaica by herself. 453 00:19:26,251 --> 00:19:28,602 Mort, and you, what is your name? 454 00:19:28,689 --> 00:19:30,169 Oh, Samantha. 455 00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:33,259 Yes! That's beautiful! Are you two in love or what? 456 00:19:33,346 --> 00:19:34,651 Hopefully. 457 00:19:34,738 --> 00:19:36,740 - Can I hear you say "yeah"? - Yeah! 458 00:19:36,826 --> 00:19:39,134 Yes, we are. Yes, Bob.Yeah! 459 00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:40,266 Great! Then feel it! 460 00:19:40,353 --> 00:19:41,570 I can feel it! Love! 461 00:19:41,657 --> 00:19:42,876 I feel it!Say "love"! 462 00:19:42,963 --> 00:19:44,661 - Love! - Love! 463 00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:46,707 Would you watch my kids for ten minutes? 464 00:19:46,794 --> 00:19:49,144 Sure.Good. I gotta go. 465 00:19:50,450 --> 00:19:55,280 Nice embalming table. Is it disinfected? 466 00:19:55,367 --> 00:19:58,413 Uh, Tina, do you think maybe you could-- 467 00:19:58,500 --> 00:20:01,721 Say no more. Gene, Louise, now! 468 00:20:01,808 --> 00:20:03,723 Ow, my ear. 469 00:20:04,724 --> 00:20:05,813 [ Kissing ] 470 00:20:07,292 --> 00:20:08,903 No, no, no! No! No! No! 471 00:20:08,990 --> 00:20:10,861 [ All Scream ][ Mort ] Wrong door. 472 00:20:12,166 --> 00:20:14,082 [ Bob ] Hello, baby.[ Linda ] Bob! 473 00:20:14,169 --> 00:20:17,432 Ah, disgusting!I can see your downstairs dreadlocks. 474 00:20:17,519 --> 00:20:19,695 Go ahead and look, Jimmy.No, mon. 475 00:20:19,782 --> 00:20:21,045 Yeah, mon. 476 00:20:21,132 --> 00:20:23,090 Oh, Bobby, you big goof. 477 00:20:23,178 --> 00:20:25,354 I took off my lazy pants. Did you notice, Lin? 478 00:20:25,441 --> 00:20:27,661 Yes, I did.[ Hugo ] God! 479 00:20:27,748 --> 00:20:30,445 Care to couples dance with me? 480 00:20:30,532 --> 00:20:32,709 On our haunted Jamaican honeymoon? 481 00:20:34,537 --> 00:20:37,278 [ Chuckles ] That's green mold. 482 00:20:37,365 --> 00:20:38,801 Right there on Jimmy's wall.What? 483 00:20:38,888 --> 00:20:39,977 You see it? Right there. 484 00:20:40,064 --> 00:20:42,066 [ Linda Laughs ] Yes. 485 00:20:42,153 --> 00:20:44,677 Oh, crap. She's right. 486 00:20:44,765 --> 00:20:46,767 We win! We win![ Chuckles ] 487 00:20:46,854 --> 00:20:48,942 Ah, just put some bleach on it.What? 488 00:20:50,336 --> 00:20:52,555 [ All ] ♪ Weekend at Mort's ♪ 489 00:20:52,642 --> 00:20:55,297 ♪ We're gonna have a weekend at Mort's ♪ 490 00:20:55,384 --> 00:20:56,471 [ Linda ] Uh, uh, uh! 491 00:20:56,558 --> 00:20:59,170 ♪ Weekend at Mort's ♪ 492 00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:01,259 ♪ We're gonna have a weekend at Mort's ♪ 493 00:21:06,394 --> 00:21:07,614 [ Bob, High-pitched ] What? 494 00:21:10,224 --> 00:21:12,618 ♪ Weekend at Mort's ♪ 495 00:21:12,705 --> 00:21:15,883 ♪ We're gonna have a weekend at Mort's ♪ 496 00:21:15,970 --> 00:21:18,015 ♪ We're gonna have a weekend at Mort's ♪♪ 497 00:21:18,102 --> 00:21:18,972 [ Linda ] Uh, uh, uh!