1 00:00:21,629 --> 00:00:24,937 All right, listen. You kids are gonna be on your best behavior right now. 2 00:00:25,024 --> 00:00:28,158 The landlord, Mr. Fischoeder, is coming over to talk about the lease, 3 00:00:28,245 --> 00:00:30,333 and we don't know if he's gonna renew.He'll renew! 4 00:00:30,420 --> 00:00:32,683 Well, we haven't always paid our rent on time. 5 00:00:32,771 --> 00:00:35,600 We never pay our rent on time.Thanks, Lin. 6 00:00:35,686 --> 00:00:38,037 All right, listen. Your mother and I are gonna go make him some food. 7 00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:40,387 That's gonna save us-- our food and our service. 8 00:00:40,475 --> 00:00:42,651 You kids start cleaning now.Pick that up! 9 00:00:42,737 --> 00:00:44,609 And, Gene, you go outside and try to drum up some business. 10 00:00:44,695 --> 00:00:46,219 I'll play my triangle! 11 00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:48,003 ♪ Ding-da-da-ding da-da-ding, da-da-ding ♪ 12 00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:49,962 No!You don't understand my music! 13 00:00:50,049 --> 00:00:52,268 Shush. And here's the other important thing. 14 00:00:52,356 --> 00:00:55,490 When Fischoeder gets here, you will not-- I repeat, not... 15 00:00:55,576 --> 00:00:58,100 stare at him like he's some kind of spectacle. 16 00:00:58,188 --> 00:01:00,843 I don't ever stare at him.I don't know what you're talking about. 17 00:01:00,929 --> 00:01:03,932 Yes, Mr. Fischoeder is an eccentric. 18 00:01:04,019 --> 00:01:05,847 Yes, he wears a white suit. 19 00:01:05,935 --> 00:01:07,457 And an eye patch. 20 00:01:07,545 --> 00:01:09,417 And he drives a golf cart everywhere. 21 00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:11,635 [ Louise ] He is one white cat away from being a super villain. 22 00:01:11,722 --> 00:01:13,115 [ Man ] Mr. Fischoeder! Aah! 23 00:01:13,203 --> 00:01:15,335 All right, but he owns this building, everybody. 24 00:01:15,423 --> 00:01:18,295 He owns the amusement park and just about everything else in town, 25 00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:20,731 so you're not gonna stare at him when he gets here. 26 00:01:20,819 --> 00:01:23,865 ♪♪ [ Whistling ]♪♪ [ Nervous Humming ] 27 00:01:23,953 --> 00:01:26,521 - Here we go! - Bob, Linda. 28 00:01:26,608 --> 00:01:29,218 Your children are refusing to acknowledge me. 29 00:01:29,305 --> 00:01:31,525 Uh, kids, stop doing that. Acknowledge Mr. Fischoeder right now. 30 00:01:31,612 --> 00:01:33,745 Are you a superhero?Can I feel your hair? 31 00:01:33,831 --> 00:01:36,747 Stop! Stop! Go clean something now, all of you. 32 00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:39,533 So, uh, Mr. Fischoeder, you know, after all these years, 33 00:01:39,621 --> 00:01:41,884 I realized you've never eaten my food.Mm-hmm. 34 00:01:41,971 --> 00:01:44,756 I want to present to you one of my favorite specialty burgers. 35 00:01:44,843 --> 00:01:47,194 Oh, no offense, Bob, but I have a policy that I don't dine... 36 00:01:47,281 --> 00:01:49,325 at any of my tenants' establishments. 37 00:01:49,412 --> 00:01:52,111 Oh. But I saw you eating at Doucie Sushi.That's different. 38 00:01:52,198 --> 00:01:55,811 That place is incredible! Have you had their starfish? It melts in your mouth. 39 00:01:55,897 --> 00:01:57,639 No? Nobody? 40 00:01:57,725 --> 00:01:59,640 You?No. 41 00:01:59,728 --> 00:02:02,644 Anyway-- Quiet in here. 42 00:02:02,730 --> 00:02:04,733 Like this a lot, Bob?Yeah. 43 00:02:04,819 --> 00:02:06,561 Well, I mean, it's 12:30. 44 00:02:06,647 --> 00:02:09,216 Sorta the lunch lull.The lunch lull. 45 00:02:09,302 --> 00:02:11,131 That's what we call it.Huh. 46 00:02:11,217 --> 00:02:13,610 Wow. Jimmy Pesto's lunch lull is really busy. 47 00:02:13,698 --> 00:02:15,612 [ Bob ] Well, Jimmy Pesto's is a pizza place-- 48 00:02:15,699 --> 00:02:18,573 if you're into that kind of thing-- pizza. 49 00:02:18,659 --> 00:02:20,313 - [ Chuckles ] Stupid. - I like pizza. 50 00:02:20,401 --> 00:02:22,576 Pizza? Where's pizza?Shush. 51 00:02:22,663 --> 00:02:26,407 Anyway, when people want a burger-- a good American burger-- 52 00:02:26,493 --> 00:02:28,277 they have nowhere else to go but-- 53 00:02:28,365 --> 00:02:31,412 Sorry. Sorry to interrupt. Let me be honest with you. 54 00:02:31,498 --> 00:02:34,805 I enjoy you, Bob. Your mustache-- it's fascinating. 55 00:02:34,893 --> 00:02:36,634 Thank you.Do you mind if I-- 56 00:02:36,721 --> 00:02:38,593 You're touching it.Yeah. I-- 57 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,420 That's-- Yeah, you're--It's really something. 58 00:02:40,508 --> 00:02:41,856 - Thank you. - Thank you. 59 00:02:41,944 --> 00:02:45,207 [ Moaning ] 60 00:02:45,295 --> 00:02:48,037 Listen, Jimmy Pesto has tendered an offer on this space. 61 00:02:48,123 --> 00:02:50,300 Jimmy Pesto? He wants to move over here? 62 00:02:50,387 --> 00:02:53,563 Yes, he wants to move his gift shop over here.Gift shop? 63 00:02:53,651 --> 00:02:56,045 This would be an amazing gift shop! 64 00:02:56,132 --> 00:02:58,221 [ Gasps ] I can do all my Christmas shopping here! 65 00:02:58,307 --> 00:03:00,092 Yes!No, no, no, no, no, no. 66 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,790 Please, I-I think if you tried my burger, you'd see that-- 67 00:03:02,877 --> 00:03:06,576 Bob, you're always late with the rent, and Jimmy pays early. 68 00:03:06,663 --> 00:03:08,840 Wait, wait, wait. Mr. Fischoeder, please. 69 00:03:08,926 --> 00:03:11,320 Before you make a decision, just taste my burger. 70 00:03:11,407 --> 00:03:13,497 Just taste it.[ Sighs ] Fine. 71 00:03:13,584 --> 00:03:15,629 Another trip to the gym. 72 00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:17,936 Jimmy Pesto may be a good businessman,[ Choking ] 73 00:03:18,022 --> 00:03:21,288 but I think you'll find that, unlike his microwaved junk, my food is-- 74 00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:23,072 [ Choking Continues ]Mr. Fischoeder? 75 00:03:23,158 --> 00:03:25,204 Mr. Fischoeder. 76 00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:27,075 [ Gasping ]He's choking. He's chok-- 77 00:03:27,163 --> 00:03:28,903 How do I do it?You just push! 78 00:03:28,990 --> 00:03:31,472 - What do I do? - Push on his belly! - Hit him in the crotch! 79 00:03:31,558 --> 00:03:34,257 - No, Gene! Don't hit him in the crotch. - Yes! Hit him in the crotch! 80 00:03:34,343 --> 00:03:36,477 - I'll hold his hair. - Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 81 00:03:36,563 --> 00:03:38,174 Linda, please.Oh, my God! 82 00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:39,871 Wow! He's turning blue! 83 00:03:39,957 --> 00:03:42,438 Put his hand in warm water!He can't die! 84 00:03:42,526 --> 00:03:44,876 - He cannot die in here! - Let's move him outside. 85 00:03:44,962 --> 00:03:47,748 No! Everybody, hands around him! Group Heimlich! 86 00:03:47,836 --> 00:03:50,707 One, two, three!Two, three! 87 00:03:50,795 --> 00:03:53,057 - [ All Grunting ] - [ Bob ] There it is! 88 00:03:53,145 --> 00:03:54,756 - Holy crap! - God. 89 00:03:54,843 --> 00:03:56,453 Give him some room, kids.Give him room! 90 00:03:56,539 --> 00:03:58,847 Oh. Ow. 91 00:03:58,933 --> 00:04:00,544 So, um--Ow. 92 00:04:00,631 --> 00:04:02,719 Did you, uh-- Did you like it? 93 00:04:02,806 --> 00:04:05,941 [ Groans ] Your rent is due Friday night. 94 00:04:06,027 --> 00:04:09,509 And if you're late, I'm giving your lease to Jimmy Pesto. 95 00:04:10,771 --> 00:04:12,729 Do you want me to pack this to go? 96 00:04:12,817 --> 00:04:14,906 You're gonna want fries with that. 97 00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:20,781 [ Linda ] So, Mr. Fischoeder's okay. 98 00:04:20,869 --> 00:04:24,132 But we've got to pay the rent in full by tomorrow night. 99 00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:27,701 Paying the rent in full!What's next? Paying your other bills? 100 00:04:27,788 --> 00:04:29,790 Don't worry. We'll figure something out. 101 00:04:29,877 --> 00:04:32,358 - Right, Bobby? - Jimmy fricking Pesto. 102 00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:34,143 [ Linda ] Oh, Bob. 103 00:04:34,230 --> 00:04:37,101 You know, Pesto's not his real name. It's Poplopovich. 104 00:04:37,189 --> 00:04:39,235 Of course it is. The guy's a complete phony. 105 00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:41,019 What is this obsession with him? 106 00:04:41,105 --> 00:04:43,194 I'm not obsessed with him.Yeah, you are. 107 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,502 You're both obsessed. It's like you guys are stalking each other. 108 00:04:54,336 --> 00:04:55,295 [ No Audible Singing ] 109 00:04:57,949 --> 00:04:59,733 [ Angry Scream ] 110 00:04:59,821 --> 00:05:01,910 I could care less about the guy. 111 00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:04,521 I think you should both grow up, at least for the kids' sake. 112 00:05:04,608 --> 00:05:07,088 Let me see. Let me see.Ugh. The kids. 113 00:05:07,175 --> 00:05:09,612 Why does Tina have to like Jimmy Pesto Jr.? 114 00:05:09,699 --> 00:05:11,920 Of all the 13-year-old boys in the world. 115 00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:14,617 Eh, she likes them too. It's kind of romantic though. 116 00:05:14,704 --> 00:05:17,838 Two families at war, a budding romance. 117 00:05:17,925 --> 00:05:19,709 It's like West Side Story![ Groans ] 118 00:05:19,797 --> 00:05:22,146 ♪ Du-dun, du-dun du-dun ♪ 119 00:05:22,233 --> 00:05:23,584 Rumble!Stop. 120 00:05:23,670 --> 00:05:24,975 ♪ Dun-dun-dun ♪♪ 121 00:05:25,062 --> 00:05:27,283 You know, Louise is friends with the twins now too-- 122 00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:29,372 Pesto's little boys, Andy and Ollie. 123 00:05:29,459 --> 00:05:32,548 No, no, no. I'm calling a ban on all the Pesto kids. 124 00:05:32,636 --> 00:05:34,899 Our kids are going to cease contact. 125 00:05:34,985 --> 00:05:36,987 Let's be best friends forever.Okay. 126 00:05:39,512 --> 00:05:42,341 Let's cut our hands and press them together and become blood brothers! 127 00:05:42,428 --> 00:05:45,909 - Okay! [ Grunting ] - No, spit brothers! Spit in your hand and then shake. 128 00:05:45,997 --> 00:05:47,956 Let's do both! [ Spits ] 129 00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:50,393 Sorry. I'm saving my spit and blood for my honeymoon. 130 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,961 Let's rub our eyes together. You can get my pink eye. 131 00:05:53,048 --> 00:05:56,485 Okay![ Both ] Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. 132 00:05:56,572 --> 00:05:59,141 Ow. Ooh!So hard to be friends these days. 133 00:05:59,228 --> 00:06:01,795 Hey, is that your brother Jimmy touching himself all over? 134 00:06:01,882 --> 00:06:03,884 [ Ollie ] Yeah, he's really into slow dancing now. 135 00:06:03,971 --> 00:06:06,060 [ Louise ] He knows it's supposed to be with other people, right? 136 00:06:06,148 --> 00:06:08,367 It is?Ugh. Look at Tina. 137 00:06:08,454 --> 00:06:10,848 Kissed the guy, and she still can't get his attention. 138 00:06:10,935 --> 00:06:12,720 She should try pigs in a blanket. 139 00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:14,809 That always gets my attention. 140 00:06:14,896 --> 00:06:16,550 Ahhh. 141 00:06:16,637 --> 00:06:18,725 ♪♪ [ Ballad, Faint ][ Grunts ] 142 00:06:21,206 --> 00:06:22,990 [ Bells Dinging ]Ugh. What's he up to now? 143 00:06:23,904 --> 00:06:25,776 What? Oh, my God! 144 00:06:25,862 --> 00:06:28,997 "Now serving burgers."Burgers! 145 00:06:29,084 --> 00:06:31,651 That's it. It's time for a showdown.All right! 146 00:06:31,738 --> 00:06:33,305 ♪ We're going to a rumble ♪ 147 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,959 I'm gonna confront him. 148 00:06:35,045 --> 00:06:36,221 ♪ Gonna confront him ♪ 149 00:06:36,307 --> 00:06:37,701 Confront him right in the face. 150 00:06:37,788 --> 00:06:39,007 ♪ Yeah, right in his handsome face ♪ 151 00:06:39,093 --> 00:06:40,355 - What? - What? 152 00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:42,358 You said "handsome face."You did. 153 00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:44,098 It's a--"Right in his handsome face." 154 00:06:44,185 --> 00:06:45,882 - I know what I said! - You think he's handsome? 155 00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:48,276 - God, yes. - No! I'm saying it with anger. 156 00:06:48,363 --> 00:06:51,932 Like, "you handsome face!" He's so handsome you wanna-- you wanna punch him. 157 00:06:52,019 --> 00:06:53,673 He looks like Tom Selleck. 158 00:06:53,761 --> 00:06:55,457 When I die, I want you to cremate me... 159 00:06:55,545 --> 00:06:57,894 and throw my ashes in Tom Selleck's face. 160 00:06:57,981 --> 00:07:00,288 [ Wheezing Laugh ] That's a crazy request. 161 00:07:00,375 --> 00:07:02,072 I get it.All right, let's go. 162 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:03,423 Kids, watch the restaurant. 163 00:07:04,598 --> 00:07:06,600 ♪ We're going to a rumble ♪♪ 164 00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:08,862 ♪♪ [ Man Singing: Operatic ]Oh, Lord. 165 00:07:08,949 --> 00:07:10,560 So many people. 166 00:07:10,646 --> 00:07:12,910 Kids, watch the restaurant. 167 00:07:12,997 --> 00:07:14,824 Tina, watch the restaurant. 168 00:07:14,911 --> 00:07:17,218 Restaurant, we both know you can handle this. 169 00:07:17,305 --> 00:07:19,699 Call me if you need me. Love you. 170 00:07:19,786 --> 00:07:22,920 Jimmy said he'll be right out. You wanna try a Pesto-colada? 171 00:07:23,007 --> 00:07:24,574 Yeah, sure.Lin! 172 00:07:24,661 --> 00:07:26,836 What? Free drink.Yuck. Look at that. 173 00:07:26,923 --> 00:07:29,230 "Pasta la vista, baby"? 174 00:07:29,317 --> 00:07:32,363 "Frank and Zelda Oldies with Goodies"? Ugh. 175 00:07:32,451 --> 00:07:35,324 Some confrontation. I want some action. 176 00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:37,326 I needsome action. 177 00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:39,023 [ Gasps ] There's Jimmy Jr. 178 00:07:39,110 --> 00:07:42,678 [ Sighs ] Busing tables has never looked so sensual. 179 00:07:42,766 --> 00:07:44,812 Yet so menial.[ Tina ] Yeah. 180 00:07:44,899 --> 00:07:47,641 Here's Jimmy. Now some fur's gonna fly. 181 00:07:47,728 --> 00:07:50,338 Bob of Bob's Burgers. 182 00:07:50,425 --> 00:07:53,473 Jimmy so-called Pesto of Jimmy Pesto's. 183 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,649 Let's skip the niceties, shall we? 184 00:07:55,735 --> 00:07:57,606 Pesto-colada for the lady-- on the house. 185 00:07:57,694 --> 00:08:00,130 Thank you.Except for that nicety. 186 00:08:00,218 --> 00:08:01,872 What are you doing, Jimmy?What? 187 00:08:01,959 --> 00:08:04,178 Selling burgers, coming after my lease. 188 00:08:04,266 --> 00:08:07,442 What are you doing, Jimmy Poplopovich? 189 00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:09,009 Whoa.Yeah. 190 00:08:09,096 --> 00:08:11,752 Your name is not what it says on the--Mmm. Mmm! 191 00:08:11,838 --> 00:08:14,014 Lin.Mmm. Yum. 192 00:08:14,101 --> 00:08:15,711 Stop.That's good. 193 00:08:15,798 --> 00:08:18,062 Bob, I run a business, all right? 194 00:08:18,149 --> 00:08:20,935 I don't know what you're doing with your fancy ingredients. 195 00:08:21,021 --> 00:08:23,110 "I'm Bob, and I like kale." Kale! 196 00:08:23,197 --> 00:08:24,894 There's nothing wrong with kale. 197 00:08:24,981 --> 00:08:28,682 Why don't you call it Snob's Burgers?Snob's Burgers! Ha! 198 00:08:28,769 --> 00:08:32,336 You think anything that isn't frozen or rotten is fancy, Jimmy. 199 00:08:32,423 --> 00:08:34,817 Okay, Mr. Fancy Face. Let's see who's got customers. 200 00:08:34,904 --> 00:08:37,298 Ah, da-di-di-di. Ah, I got some. 201 00:08:37,385 --> 00:08:40,040 Let's see who doesn't. Oh, you. 202 00:08:40,128 --> 00:08:43,043 [ Chuckles ] I've-- I've got customers, Jimmy. 203 00:08:43,130 --> 00:08:45,524 They're not there right now. They have a life. 204 00:08:45,611 --> 00:08:48,397 Oh, yeah? Well, good luck making rent by tomorrow night. 205 00:08:48,484 --> 00:08:51,922 Well, good luck trying to steal my customers with your Besto-Burger. 206 00:08:52,009 --> 00:08:53,967 They'll never-- Oh, my God! 207 00:08:54,054 --> 00:08:55,796 - Bob! - Unbelievable. 208 00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:57,711 We came to watch the ball game.I had the urge to sing Journey! 209 00:08:57,798 --> 00:08:59,277 Come on, Linda. We're leaving! 210 00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:00,539 Go, go. Go, go, go, go. 211 00:09:00,626 --> 00:09:02,672 [ Slurping ] 212 00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:04,586 ♪♪ [ Continues ] 213 00:09:08,330 --> 00:09:11,942 Hmm!You're not gonna get our lease, Jimmy! 214 00:09:12,028 --> 00:09:14,423 - He's gonna get our lease. - No, Bobby! 215 00:09:14,509 --> 00:09:16,424 Forget about Jimmy Pesto. 216 00:09:16,511 --> 00:09:18,948 All we need is one really good day of business, 217 00:09:19,036 --> 00:09:21,561 and then we can pay our rent and keep the place, huh? 218 00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:24,912 Huh?I guess you're right. 219 00:09:24,999 --> 00:09:28,176 - If we can pack the house tomorrow. - Sure! Packed house. 220 00:09:28,263 --> 00:09:31,831 We can do that. Let's have a family brainstorm right now. 221 00:09:31,918 --> 00:09:36,706 Gene, go!Uh, live entertainment featuring a mix of techno... 222 00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:40,536 and Dad's favorite-- the triangle! 223 00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:42,494 ♪ A-ding-ding-ding ding-ding, ding ding-ding-ding ♪ 224 00:09:42,581 --> 00:09:44,235 No.Tina, go! 225 00:09:44,322 --> 00:09:46,236 Slow dancing. Grind, grind. 226 00:09:46,323 --> 00:09:48,065 No.Grind. 227 00:09:48,152 --> 00:09:50,067 Tina, stop. What are you do-- Stop that. 228 00:09:50,153 --> 00:09:51,894 Louise, what do you got? 229 00:09:51,981 --> 00:09:54,594 When I was young and naive, I would have said "arson," 230 00:09:54,681 --> 00:09:56,421 but I'm gonna go with "voodoo." 231 00:09:56,508 --> 00:09:59,510 Huh. I like arson.No. Seriously, Dad-- voodoo. 232 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,208 I have a book.No. 233 00:10:01,296 --> 00:10:03,384 No, I have a book! I'll go get it.I got it! 234 00:10:03,471 --> 00:10:07,215 Make some flyers for half off, and good for tomorrow night only. 235 00:10:07,302 --> 00:10:09,870 You know, that might bring some people in.Yeah, yeah. 236 00:10:09,956 --> 00:10:13,003 Okay, I found it.Forget voodoo. We're doing flyers. 237 00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:15,745 What? Whose candy-ass idea was that? 238 00:10:15,831 --> 00:10:18,052 I'm out of the room for five seconds! 239 00:10:18,139 --> 00:10:20,620 Ah, we're on a roll. Let's brainstorm something else. 240 00:10:20,706 --> 00:10:22,403 Uh, Christmas card. 241 00:10:22,490 --> 00:10:24,624 No, no, no. We're done brainstorming. We got it. 242 00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:26,974 Oh. How 'bout we shave our heads for the Christmas card? 243 00:10:27,061 --> 00:10:29,149 Spell our names wrong.Shave our legs. 244 00:10:29,236 --> 00:10:32,283 Totally soft, silky family. 245 00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:34,850 I like it.I have a book! 246 00:10:34,937 --> 00:10:37,548 Nobody forget what they just said. I'm gonna go get some paper. 247 00:10:44,860 --> 00:10:46,471 Mmm. It's pretty good. 248 00:10:46,557 --> 00:10:48,735 [ Laughs ] It's pretty good. 249 00:10:48,822 --> 00:10:51,562 [ Crying ] It's not good! It's not good! 250 00:10:51,650 --> 00:10:53,173 It's not good! 251 00:10:53,260 --> 00:10:55,088 Goin' in the garbage! 252 00:10:58,308 --> 00:11:02,662 If I can get a lock of Jimmy Pesto's hair, I'm pretty sure I can control his mind. 253 00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:04,706 Really?I don't know. I'm just skimming. 254 00:11:04,793 --> 00:11:07,404 All I know is it works on fools and imbeciles. 255 00:11:07,491 --> 00:11:11,845 Oh, me, me. Can you help me dance Jimmy Jr. back into remembering we're going out? 256 00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:15,500 Yes, I can. I just need a lock of your hair.Okay. 257 00:11:15,586 --> 00:11:19,243 Can you help me get a gig in the music business?Hair. 258 00:11:19,330 --> 00:11:20,897 So long, old friend. 259 00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:22,812 ♪ Bye-bye-- ♪ 260 00:11:22,899 --> 00:11:25,596 So if you stick the penny into the potato, 261 00:11:25,684 --> 00:11:28,817 you've just made a battery out of a potato. 262 00:11:28,904 --> 00:11:31,298 I've just made a voodoo doll out of a potato. 263 00:11:31,385 --> 00:11:32,778 [ Both ] Aww! 264 00:11:32,865 --> 00:11:34,736 Who is it?My sister, Tina. 265 00:11:34,823 --> 00:11:36,956 She wants me to make your brother slow dance with her... 266 00:11:37,043 --> 00:11:38,784 and remember that they're going out. 267 00:11:38,871 --> 00:11:41,134 Can you get a lock of your brother's hair?Yup. 268 00:11:41,221 --> 00:11:44,442 - Aah! - And you said I was crazy for carrying this around. 269 00:11:44,528 --> 00:11:47,663 Now who's laughing? [ Laughing ] Me! 270 00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:49,664 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow![ Teacher ] Settle down. Settle-- 271 00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:51,667 Hi, kids. How was school? 272 00:11:51,754 --> 00:11:53,277 [ Together ] Good.Yeah? 273 00:11:53,364 --> 00:11:56,105 Mom, Andy and Ollie are helping me with a school project. 274 00:11:56,192 --> 00:11:59,370 I'm gonna need 15 potatoes and a lock of hair from you and Dad. 275 00:11:59,456 --> 00:12:01,981 Also rum and cigars, if you have any. 276 00:12:02,068 --> 00:12:03,809 - Wait. What's this for? - English. 277 00:12:03,897 --> 00:12:06,376 - You two have homework? - A little. - Not doing it. 278 00:12:06,464 --> 00:12:09,423 Good, 'cause you're going down to the pier to hand out flyers. 279 00:12:09,510 --> 00:12:11,381 [ Grunting ] 280 00:12:11,469 --> 00:12:13,427 Aah! [ Blubbering ] 281 00:12:13,514 --> 00:12:14,690 [ Rings ][ Tina ] We're back. 282 00:12:14,777 --> 00:12:17,388 Did you pass 'em out?Yup. We saved the family. 283 00:12:17,475 --> 00:12:20,000 Jimmy Pesto even took one.So did Jimmy One Wing. 284 00:12:20,086 --> 00:12:23,350 He's a seagull I met.What the hell? 285 00:12:23,437 --> 00:12:27,049 "Tonight only our competitor's flyers good for 1/2 off your meal! 286 00:12:27,136 --> 00:12:29,356 Plus a free T-shirt"? 287 00:12:29,443 --> 00:12:33,403 - Oh, my God. - Aw, Mort's bringing his mother to dinner. 288 00:12:33,490 --> 00:12:35,405 No. No. No! 289 00:12:36,538 --> 00:12:38,278 Those are my customers! 290 00:12:39,409 --> 00:12:41,803 This is a war now. This is a war. 291 00:12:41,890 --> 00:12:44,024 Listen, it's the theme from Braveheart! 292 00:12:44,110 --> 00:12:45,851 ♪ Ding-ding-ding-ding ding-ding-ding ♪ 293 00:12:45,938 --> 00:12:48,071 No!Wait, wait. This is the best part. 294 00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:54,730 Dad, what are you doing?Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm. 295 00:12:54,817 --> 00:12:58,734 Shh! Gene, Tina, this may be our last chance to save the restaurant. 296 00:12:58,821 --> 00:13:01,258 Your father needs full concentration right now. 297 00:13:01,345 --> 00:13:05,000 He's attempting to make the most difficult burger known to man. 298 00:13:05,087 --> 00:13:07,524 I've only seen him do it once successfully. 299 00:13:07,611 --> 00:13:10,615 And now he has to do it in a mini sampler size. 300 00:13:10,701 --> 00:13:13,269 - What is it? - He calls it "The Meatsiah." 301 00:13:13,356 --> 00:13:16,926 It's beef tartare inside a burger, medium-well, 302 00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:18,754 inside a burger Wellington. 303 00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:22,062 Is Dad gonna die?Maybe, honey. Maybe. 304 00:13:22,149 --> 00:13:24,368 Oh, he has to be happy with that one. 305 00:13:24,455 --> 00:13:26,587 So how is this gonna save the restaurant? 306 00:13:26,674 --> 00:13:29,198 Am I gonna put on the burger suit and hand these out in front? 307 00:13:29,286 --> 00:13:32,288 Oh, no. We're going straight to the source with these. 308 00:13:32,375 --> 00:13:36,206 You're gonna be handing theseout in Jimmy Pesto's restaurant. 309 00:13:37,773 --> 00:13:39,818 - Whoa. - That's right, whoa. 310 00:13:39,905 --> 00:13:43,082 These samples are gonna get us our rent money tonight, so we can keep this place. 311 00:13:43,169 --> 00:13:45,346 How are free samples gonna get us money? 312 00:13:45,432 --> 00:13:49,088 They'll try the samples, and they'll love 'em, but they'll want more. More! 313 00:13:49,176 --> 00:13:51,613 They'll be craving these burgers, itching to get their fix! 314 00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:53,528 - Like heroin. - That's right, Son! 315 00:13:53,615 --> 00:13:55,399 - Like heroin! - Yes! 316 00:13:55,485 --> 00:13:57,619 But this family's gonna have to execute perfectly to pull this off. 317 00:13:57,706 --> 00:13:59,142 Where's Louise? 318 00:13:59,229 --> 00:14:01,753 [ Louise ] This one shall have his first gig. 319 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:04,538 This one shall slow dance upon that one.♪♪ [ Drumming ] 320 00:14:04,625 --> 00:14:07,585 And Mr. Jimmy Pesto's fate is yet undetermined... 321 00:14:07,672 --> 00:14:10,719 because I still need to get some of his hair. 322 00:14:10,806 --> 00:14:12,894 I'm gonna go get it right now. Wanna come? 323 00:14:12,981 --> 00:14:15,767 We want to stay here.Forever. We wanna stay here forever and ever. 324 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:19,032 We want to be buried here!Buried here! 325 00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:22,077 Okay! I'll bury you when I get back. 326 00:14:22,164 --> 00:14:24,384 [ Jimmy ] You're taking hair donations? 327 00:14:24,471 --> 00:14:27,082 That's right.Mmm, for people with mustache cancer? 328 00:14:27,169 --> 00:14:28,998 Yeah. It's a serious disease. 329 00:14:29,085 --> 00:14:31,173 Hey, aren't you Bob's kid? 330 00:14:31,260 --> 00:14:33,567 No! No, no. 331 00:14:33,654 --> 00:14:37,485 Dad, Frank and Zelda both got the scampi, and now they're in the bathroom puking. 332 00:14:37,572 --> 00:14:40,749 Oh, for God's sake. Where am I gonna get another piano player at this hour? 333 00:14:40,836 --> 00:14:42,793 We could put on some Boyz II Men, and I could slow dance. 334 00:14:42,881 --> 00:14:46,014 Hey, pepper, no! For the thousandth time, no! 335 00:14:46,101 --> 00:14:48,278 It's my passion, Dad! Passion!Ah! 336 00:14:48,365 --> 00:14:49,801 I know a guy. 337 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:53,630 [ Rings ]Hello. Bob's Burgers. 338 00:14:53,717 --> 00:14:55,590 You tell Dad where you were going? 339 00:14:55,677 --> 00:14:57,331 Mm, he's working on his burger bites. 340 00:14:57,418 --> 00:14:59,681 Hey, there's a drum set. Back me up! 341 00:14:59,768 --> 00:15:04,163 Sorry, it'll just be another minute. We're really backed up in there. 342 00:15:04,250 --> 00:15:07,907 Gene got his wish! The voodoo is working! 343 00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:10,648 How you doin'? Nice shirt. 344 00:15:10,735 --> 00:15:14,434 Oh, my God! Gene's first public performance! 345 00:15:14,522 --> 00:15:16,697 [ Bob ] These are almost done. Is everybody ready? 346 00:15:16,784 --> 00:15:19,308 Aw! And my Tina's dancin'. 347 00:15:19,395 --> 00:15:21,921 My little clam's coming out of her shell. 348 00:15:22,008 --> 00:15:24,096 I'm just gonna slip out for one sec. 349 00:15:24,183 --> 00:15:28,187 Okay, here we go. Time to go win back the restaurant! 350 00:15:28,274 --> 00:15:29,971 Linda? Kids? 351 00:15:30,058 --> 00:15:31,799 Oh, my God. 352 00:15:31,886 --> 00:15:34,629 Gene was supposed to wear the costume. Well, you know what? 353 00:15:34,716 --> 00:15:36,630 I'll do this myself. 354 00:15:36,717 --> 00:15:38,850 This next number's a slow jam. 355 00:15:38,937 --> 00:15:41,114 It's called "Three Sides Don't Make a Square." 356 00:15:41,201 --> 00:15:42,505 ♪ Ding, ding, ding ♪ 357 00:15:42,592 --> 00:15:44,855 ♪ Ding-ding Ding-ding-ding ♪ 358 00:15:44,943 --> 00:15:46,989 ♪ Da-ding-ding Da-ding-ding ♪ 359 00:15:47,076 --> 00:15:48,730 ♪ Da-ding-ding Da-ding-ding ♪♪ [ Laughs ] 360 00:15:48,817 --> 00:15:52,298 Thank you.Ho-ho-ho! What happened? Did you snap? 361 00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:55,171 Did Mr. Fancy Face take a trip to the sexy store? 362 00:15:55,258 --> 00:15:57,259 No.It's a little small on you. 363 00:15:57,346 --> 00:15:59,610 A little tight in the pickles, huh? What's on the tray? 364 00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:02,177 These are burger bites, Jimmy. The best in the world. 365 00:16:02,264 --> 00:16:05,138 I'm gonna show your customers what real food is. 366 00:16:05,225 --> 00:16:06,748 Here, try a real burger, sir? 367 00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:08,576 Hey.Ah. Well. 368 00:16:08,663 --> 00:16:10,230 Eh-eh.I'm gonna go this way then. 369 00:16:10,317 --> 00:16:11,796 Nah-nah-nah.Yeah. Well, then I'm-- 370 00:16:11,883 --> 00:16:13,884 Deh-deh.Don't poke me. 371 00:16:13,972 --> 00:16:15,712 Aah!Real burgers, right across the street. 372 00:16:15,799 --> 00:16:17,192 Hey, hey.Just move. 373 00:16:17,279 --> 00:16:18,455 [ Mocking ] Just move.Shut-- What? 374 00:16:18,542 --> 00:16:20,936 I didn't do it.Yeah, I did-- [ Babbling ] 375 00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:23,068 Oh, no.Is that Dad? 376 00:16:23,155 --> 00:16:26,636 And you people! Traitors! Traitor family! 377 00:16:26,724 --> 00:16:29,423 It's Gene's first public performance. 378 00:16:29,509 --> 00:16:33,078 You could've had me at the ground floor, Dad. Now I play the big rooms. 379 00:16:33,165 --> 00:16:35,298 You gotta let the kids have a little fun. 380 00:16:35,384 --> 00:16:37,996 We have fun, Linda! We have lots of fun! 381 00:16:38,084 --> 00:16:39,955 - What's he wearin'? - My buns. 382 00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:42,566 With a few extra buns hanging out the back.♪♪ [ Rim Shot ] 383 00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:44,698 Ooh! Hey, Dad! I'm playing drums! 384 00:16:44,786 --> 00:16:47,397 Oh, I'm so happy you're playing drums, Louise! 385 00:16:47,484 --> 00:16:51,357 Hey, you know what? You should keep your freaky kids locked up in your own place. 386 00:16:51,445 --> 00:16:53,360 What did you say about my kids? 387 00:16:53,447 --> 00:16:56,231 - Hit him in his handsome groin! - [ Both Grunting ] 388 00:16:56,318 --> 00:16:58,234 Oh, watch it.You-- I-- 389 00:16:58,321 --> 00:17:00,322 Ow!Hey. Wait. Wait. 390 00:17:00,409 --> 00:17:02,543 [ Grunting Continues ] 391 00:17:03,804 --> 00:17:06,634 Get him, Dad.Come on! Come on! 392 00:17:06,721 --> 00:17:09,070 Don't worry, Dad! [ Spits ] 393 00:17:09,157 --> 00:17:10,942 Anything? Anything? 394 00:17:11,029 --> 00:17:14,032 I got the samples, Bobby. Aw, crap. 395 00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:16,209 That looks silly.Come for the rent? 396 00:17:16,296 --> 00:17:18,166 Yes, I've come for the rent.Bob! 397 00:17:18,253 --> 00:17:20,299 No, no. Let 'em fight. Looks like a betting crowd. 398 00:17:20,386 --> 00:17:22,563 Who wants three-to-one against the burger?Right here! 399 00:17:22,650 --> 00:17:26,393 Here, let me see. Let me see your money. Here you go. Oh! 400 00:17:28,655 --> 00:17:31,267 [ Quiet Grunting ] 401 00:17:31,354 --> 00:17:33,138 All right. It's a draw. 402 00:17:33,226 --> 00:17:35,183 Who had "They end up hugging each other"?Me. 403 00:17:35,270 --> 00:17:37,230 That's 10 to you.Thank you. 404 00:17:37,317 --> 00:17:40,363 Now, Bob, Jimmy, let's all go over to Jimmy's new gift shop-- 405 00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:43,105 I mean-- [ Chuckles ] Sorry. Bob's place-- 406 00:17:43,192 --> 00:17:46,239 and settle this over some nice alcohol, hmm? 407 00:17:46,326 --> 00:17:48,153 Bob? [ Gulping ] 408 00:17:50,373 --> 00:17:53,201 - Do you have the rent? - [ Sighs ] No. Not all of it. 409 00:17:53,288 --> 00:17:55,074 Okay then. Here we go. 410 00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:56,770 - Oh, God. - Give me your hands. 411 00:17:56,857 --> 00:17:59,077 - Um, sure. - Do you cry easily? 412 00:17:59,164 --> 00:18:02,124 Um, sometimes.Well, let's get it over with. 413 00:18:02,211 --> 00:18:05,084 Bob, I will not be renewing-- 414 00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:07,520 [ Sniffs ] Oh, what is that amazing smell? 415 00:18:07,607 --> 00:18:09,871 Who's hungry? 416 00:18:09,958 --> 00:18:14,005 - What are those? - Only the holy grail of hamburgers-- the Meatsiah! 417 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,877 Hmm. Are these choke-resistant? 418 00:18:16,964 --> 00:18:18,662 They're bite-sized!Oh, good. 419 00:18:20,185 --> 00:18:23,363 Mmm. Mmm. Mmm! 420 00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:25,016 Huh? 421 00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,105 I have never... 422 00:18:27,192 --> 00:18:28,846 eaten a burger... 423 00:18:28,932 --> 00:18:31,109 half-- [ Choking ] 424 00:18:31,196 --> 00:18:33,067 Hit him in the crotch!I'm just kidding. 425 00:18:33,154 --> 00:18:34,982 - [ Nervous Laughing ] - ...as good as this. 426 00:18:35,069 --> 00:18:37,986 This is great! Yeah! Oh! 427 00:18:38,073 --> 00:18:42,643 It's complicated. It's-It's mystical. It's-It's barbaric! 428 00:18:42,730 --> 00:18:44,210 Thank you.Mmm. 429 00:18:44,297 --> 00:18:47,604 Mr. Fischoeder, I-I wanted to--I'm talking, Jimmy. 430 00:18:47,691 --> 00:18:49,301 Yeah, I wanted--I'm talking. 431 00:18:49,388 --> 00:18:53,087 Bob, you might be the worst tenant I've ever had, 432 00:18:53,174 --> 00:18:55,916 and I rent space to a raccoon sanctuary. 433 00:18:56,003 --> 00:18:58,267 I know. They're next door. I've been meaning to talk to you about-- 434 00:18:58,354 --> 00:18:59,615 Shh. It's okay.Right. 435 00:18:59,702 --> 00:19:02,141 I get it now. 436 00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:05,099 You were trying to tell me the other day, but I wouldn't listen because I was choking to death. 437 00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:08,798 Mr. Fischoeder, I just have--Jimmy, please! Please! 438 00:19:08,885 --> 00:19:11,192 I was thinking about mylife, you see, 439 00:19:11,279 --> 00:19:14,892 and how I didn't want it to end in your pathetic little restaurant... 440 00:19:14,979 --> 00:19:17,025 on your sad, filthy floor. 441 00:19:17,112 --> 00:19:18,940 - Hey! - But now I see it. 442 00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:20,549 You're not a businessman. 443 00:19:20,636 --> 00:19:23,204 You don't care about customers and money. 444 00:19:23,291 --> 00:19:24,902 Ha!No, I do. I do. 445 00:19:24,989 --> 00:19:28,818 No, no. You are an artist-- a beef artist. 446 00:19:28,905 --> 00:19:30,778 A be-fartist, a poet... 447 00:19:30,865 --> 00:19:33,911 who writes with meat and buns and pickles... 448 00:19:33,998 --> 00:19:37,262 like a greasy, heterosexual Walt Whitman. 449 00:19:37,349 --> 00:19:39,134 Uh, thank you. 450 00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:41,615 Okay. Well, Mr. Fischoeder--Jimmy! 451 00:19:41,701 --> 00:19:43,182 No, it's fair--Jimmy! 452 00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:45,749 Talk--Please. 453 00:19:45,836 --> 00:19:48,056 Which brings me to your lease.Things are a little greasy. 454 00:19:48,143 --> 00:19:51,190 Shut up! Which brings me to your lease. 455 00:19:53,278 --> 00:19:56,325 Let's extend it!All right, Bobby! 456 00:19:56,412 --> 00:19:58,632 - But I gotta make it month-to-month. - Oh. 457 00:19:58,719 --> 00:20:01,155 Um, all right. We'll take it. 458 00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:03,419 - And I have to raise your rent a little. - Okay. 459 00:20:03,506 --> 00:20:06,727 That's-- Yes.Yeah. Right. 460 00:20:06,814 --> 00:20:09,208 [ Together ] Daddy!Andy, Ollie, what are you doing here? 461 00:20:09,295 --> 00:20:10,904 Voodoo!What? 462 00:20:10,991 --> 00:20:13,516 Voodoo!Yeah, and we switched underpants! 463 00:20:13,603 --> 00:20:16,388 [ Whispering ] Ollie, that was a secret!I couldn't hold it in anymore! 464 00:20:16,476 --> 00:20:19,695 These are your kids? And you thought my kids were freaky? 465 00:20:19,782 --> 00:20:22,612 Come on, boys. We're leaving.No, we wanna stay! 466 00:20:22,699 --> 00:20:25,571 - Yeah, it's fun here! - Yeah, Jimmy. It's fun here. 467 00:20:25,659 --> 00:20:27,050 [ Grumbles ]Shush. 468 00:20:27,137 --> 00:20:29,531 All right! Let's celebrate![ Cheering ] 469 00:20:29,618 --> 00:20:32,099 Gene, uh, do us the honor. A little music? 470 00:20:32,186 --> 00:20:34,276 [ Gasps ] You believe in me. 471 00:20:34,363 --> 00:20:36,712 Time to tickle the iron. 472 00:20:36,799 --> 00:20:40,281 ♪ A-ding, a-dong A-ding-dong-ding ♪ 473 00:20:40,368 --> 00:20:42,066 Slow jam. 474 00:20:42,153 --> 00:20:44,503 ♪ Da-ding-ding Da-ding-ding Da-ding-ding ♪ 475 00:20:44,590 --> 00:20:48,072 [ Sighs ] Come on, Jimmy Jr. Let's get back to work. 476 00:20:48,159 --> 00:20:51,728 No, Dad! I'm gonna dance with Tracy! 477 00:20:51,815 --> 00:20:53,425 Tina.Tina! 478 00:20:53,512 --> 00:20:54,775 Ugh! 479 00:20:54,862 --> 00:20:56,777 Yup. Voodoo works. 480 00:20:56,864 --> 00:20:58,952 I am a god! 481 00:20:59,039 --> 00:21:00,867 Am I doing this right? 482 00:21:00,954 --> 00:21:04,174 Mort, do I look sexy? My pants aren't falling down, are they, Mort? 483 00:21:04,262 --> 00:21:06,089 When I dance, sometimes my pants fall down. 484 00:21:06,176 --> 00:21:07,395 ♪♪ [ Whistling ] 485 00:21:07,482 --> 00:21:09,397 [ Gene ] ♪ A-ding-ding ♪ 486 00:21:09,484 --> 00:21:11,400 ♪ A-ding-ding ♪ 487 00:21:13,532 --> 00:21:15,448 ♪ Da-ding-ding ♪ 488 00:21:15,535 --> 00:21:18,451 ♪ Da-ding-ding-dong ♪ 489 00:21:18,538 --> 00:21:20,496 ♪ A-ding-a, a-ding-a a-ding-a, a-ding ♪ 490 00:21:20,583 --> 00:21:22,628 ♪ A-ding-a, a-ding-a, a-dong ♪ 491 00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:24,544 ♪♪ [ Whistling Continues ] 492 00:21:24,631 --> 00:21:25,719 Oh! 493 00:21:25,806 --> 00:21:26,675 ♪ A ding-ding ♪ 494 00:21:26,762 --> 00:21:28,329 Bobby, go! 495 00:21:28,416 --> 00:21:30,984 Come on, Bob. Show us your ding-ding! 496 00:21:31,071 --> 00:21:33,029 [ Bob ] ♪ Ding-ding ♪ 497 00:21:33,116 --> 00:21:34,770 ♪ Da-ding-ding ♪ 498 00:21:34,857 --> 00:21:35,990 [ Gene ] ♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da-- ♪♪