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♪ ♪
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Hey, bud, careful.
The janitor just waxed.
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Remember, if the floor is shiny,
you can fall on your heinie.
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-Thanks, Tina.
-TINA: Yeah, that's me,
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Tina Belcher,
ordinary eighth grader.
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That's probably what makes me
good at my job.
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I walk the beat as
a hall monitor here at Wagstaff,
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but I was about to discover
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that sometimes
you walk the beat,
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and sometimes
the beat walks you.
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No. No. No, no, no,
no, no, no, no. No.
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TINA: I bet you're wondering
who she is,
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and how a girl like me got
mixed up with a dame like that.
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Her name is Holly Monitors,
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and she was supposed
to be my little secret.
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But I'm getting ahead of myself.
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Let me tell you
how this all began.
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It was just like any other day.
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Like I said, I'm a hall monitor,
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but it's not the halls
that need monitoring,
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it's the people in them.
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Someone's always chewing gum.
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Oh, man, there's still
some flavor in there. Come on.
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TINA: I may seem like
a party pooper, but it's better
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if I'm pooping at their party
than a teacher.
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Teachers give out detention,
I give out attention.
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A new piece,
for the end of the day.
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-Ooh, cinnamon. Fancy.
-Now scram.
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And sometimes it's hard to be
on the good side of the law
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with the two scamps
in my family.
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They were always
up to something.
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But I lived with them,
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so I had to live with myself.
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Still, something was
different that week.
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I had a feeling I hadn't felt
since the fidget spinner craze.
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Or that other craze
where everyone was eating
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those spicy dusty chips
and throwing up.
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Hey, hey, no running.
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Stop running, slow down.
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-Huh.
-Whatever it was,
I was sure it would go
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as quickly as it came.
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Besides, I had other things
to focus on.
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Big things.
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Like the big banner
the hall monitors
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were working on
for the open house.
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Sure, being a hall monitor
is not as exciting
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as the drama club or dance club
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-or jazz choir...
-♪ Do-bee, do-bee, do-wah. ♪
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...but it's my life.
This open house would be
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the hall monitors'
biggest day yet,
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working security as parents
and the superintendent
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came to experience a...
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Full day of Wag.
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Not some phony
two-hour evening event.
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I'm talking about a full day,
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living and breathing
the real deal.
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You will be helping to welcome
all of the parents
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and the superintendent
to the upcoming
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"Walk on into Wagstaff"
open house.
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From the opening assembly...
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TINA:
He needed it to go perfectly,
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because if it did,
the superintendent
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would pay for Frond to go to...
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Counsel Your Butt Off,
a weekend seminar in Sarasota
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for life changers
and emotion rearrangers.
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So, this week,
I'm counting on you
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to stop the hooligans
before they hool again.
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Now get out there and monitor.
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Tina, can I, uh,
talk to you for a moment?
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-Sure, what's up?
-Uh, not here. My office.
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There's a favor
I need to ask you, Tina.
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You're my most
experienced hall monitor.
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You're good at what you do.
You have a light touch.
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-The kids seem to like you.
-Thank you.
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-I mean, in their way.
-Oh.
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The thing is, I have a feeling
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that there's something going on.
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Kids are distracted, whispery.
Test scores are down.
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Art supplies are missing.
Kids are hanging out
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in new groups: the populars
mixing with the regulars.
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Whatever it is,
I need it to stop.
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I need to add it
to the no-no list.
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The open house is in three days.
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I need the superintendent
to think this place runs
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like a well-oiled baby.
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I'm not sure if I'm using
that phrase correctly.
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-Sounds good to me, boss.
-But how can I stop
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whatever's going on
if I don't know what it is?
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That's where you come in.
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TINA:
I told him I could find out
what was happening.
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Of course I could.
But I was about to discover
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no matter which way you turn,
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fate can stick out a foot
and trip you.
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-(shouts)
-Or sometimes your own shoelace
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-can stick out a foot
and trip you.
-I'm okay.
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When you're working a case,
you have to be subtle.
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(high-pitched):
So, Gene and Louise,
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anything new going on
at school? Distracting you?
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Nope. Just learning a lot,
as usual.
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Ooh. What'd you learn?
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Science. Also, math.
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And that thing with the letters.
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-Uh, spelling?
-No, thank you.
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TINA:
Either they really didn't know
or they didn't want me to know.
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Either way, it was a dead end.
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I was gonna have to put in
some shoe leather.
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Fruit Roll-Up, huh? Nice.
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Nothing out of the ordinary.
Ooh, my old barrette.
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Damn it. Damn it. Damn it!
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I took a little break
for a sloppy joe,
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and stumbled sideways
into a mess of my own.
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A popular and a regular?
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Where are you two going?
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(sultry jazz music playing)
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(kids murmuring)
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-(crowd whooping)
-(gasps) Gene. What the hand?
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TINA: From the moment I saw her,
I knew I was in trouble.
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Sure, I knew she was technically
my brother's hand,
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but when she walked down those
stairs, everything changed.
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She had a certain something.
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You might call it style,
you might call it chutzpah,
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you might call it fingers,
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but whatever you called it,
sister, it was calling me.
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GENE:
Mm. Mm. Ah. Ah. Ah.
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-(cheering, applause)
-Give it up
for Mavis Middlefinger!
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-Encore.
-Okay, okay, okay,
you want more?
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You know what to do.
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Nickels, candy, gum
that bubbles?
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Whatever you're thinking,
make it double.
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All right, all right, we'll see
Mavis again, but first,
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coming to the stage,
Regular Sized Randolph.
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-(cheering, applause)
-(Rudy grunting)
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♪ ♪
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-Hey, Louise.
-Oh. Hey, Tina.
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What, uh, what are you,
uh, doing here?
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Just checking out the scene.
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Oh, uh, no offense,
but we kind of have
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a "no hall monitor" rule
around here.
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Oh, uh, o-okay, uh, I'm not
a hall monitor right now.
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Just Tina. Belcher.
Your sister. And friend.
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(chuckles)
Okay, are you sure?
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Because you are making
a weird lying face.
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Oh, no. I-I just did
a gross burp
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and I'm trying
to hold in the smell.
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Oh. Okay, well, you can stay
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as long as you keep
your lips zipped, potato chip.
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Looks like I'm on.
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-Regular Sized Randolph,
everyone.
-(cheering, applause)
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If you like Randy,
give him some candy.
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Wow. Bunch of loose Nerds
and a quarter?
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Oh, wait, no, it's a corn chip.
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Bring back Mavis!
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-Mavis.
-Yeah, Mavis.
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Okay, okay, cool down.
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We've still got nine minutes
of lunch period left.
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But for now, how about
a hand for these hands?
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It's Tom Shoes and his gorgeous
ex-wife Skatie Holmes.
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-(cheering, applause)
-Everybody, look at my hands.
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♪ ♪
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TINA:
I guess you could say it.
I was wrapped
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around those fingers.
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Hey, guys. Hey, Gene.
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Great finger dancing today.
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(shushes)
Tina, keep it down.
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Oh, sorry. Uh...
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(whispers):
Great finger dancing today.
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We call it handy prancing,
but thanks.
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-So it's a secret?
-Of course it is, T.
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Because it's amazing,
and "distracting."
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Yeah, the first time I did it
was at lunch
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when you were
at a hall monitor meeting.
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I'd seen it on the Internet.
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And like everything
I've seen on the Internet,
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I tried it right away.
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LOUISE:
He painted on a pair
of mustard shorts
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and slipped on
some tater tot shoes.
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Ms. Labonz yelled at him
to cut it out,
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but, oh, it took off from there.
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♪ ♪
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Soon, the scene got so big
we had to take it underground
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so we wouldn't wind up
on Frond's no-no list.
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Gene's the best at it,
and it's making me--
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I mean, us--
three, four dollars a day easy,
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-plus candy and gum.
-Cool.
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-Mind if I come back tomorrow?
-Sure. I mean,
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you're not gonna go rat us out
to Frond, are you?
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What? No way.
I'll keep it Frond-fidential.
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Confidential. Ha, ha.
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Great. Um, see you then.
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And also for the rest
of the walk home now,
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and later tonight
and tomorrow morning.
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Ah, you doing one of those
gross burps again?
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Yep, yep, yep.
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Sure, I wasn't telling them
the whole truth,
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but I wasn't gonna tell Frond
the whole truth, either.
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Maybe there was another way out.
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It was a complicated sandwich,
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and I was the salami
in the middle.
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Ooh! Tina. Easy with the broom.
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Oh, sorry,
I was just thinking, I guess.
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Inside, I was a deck of 52 cards
scattered on the floor,
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but from the outside I had
to look like a straight flush.
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(chuckles): Tina,
you're sweeping me off my feet.
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-Literally.
-Ugh. Dumb broom.
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(panting):
Guys, I've got a huge problem.
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Okay. Is this like when you
couldn't get your underwear off?
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Because I'm not
helping you again.
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You-you need to buy
bigger underwear.
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No, this is worse.
You know Kathleen?
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-Yeah.
-Well, she invited me to
the movies in a couple of days.
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Aw, that's great, Teddy.
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Yeah, but here's the problem:
she could only
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get tickets at 5:30,
which is dinnertime.
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So I told her I could pick up
a couple of burgers
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from you guys, but the last time
I tried to sneak
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a burger into the movies,
it didn't go so well.
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Sir, you aren't allowed to bring
outside food into the theater.
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(shouting)
Sorry! Sorry!
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(shouts, crying)
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-Oh, no.
-Wait, is that why you have
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a cardboard cutout
of Vin Diesel in your house?
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No, that was a gift.
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Ugh, I don't know what to do
about this food.
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I told Kathleen
I would bring burgers.
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This could make or break us.
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Well, well, maybe we can
help you sneak them in.
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I can make you
a little sneaky snacky.
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Oh, thank you, Linda. Thank you.
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You can't just waltz in there
with a bag in your hand.
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That's lesson one. You got to be
like The James Bourne Identity.
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You got to hide it.
Give me a day, Teddy.
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-I'll come up with something.
-Oh, thank God.
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I was really panicking there.
(chuckles, sighs)
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Better have a burger and fries
and another burger to calm down.
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-Yep.
-TINA: Life just kept
moving around me,
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and I kept moving around life.
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Like walking and stuff,
but also sitting sometimes, too.
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So I guess moving
and also not moving.
239
00:09:21,453 --> 00:09:22,969
Depending on what I was doing.
240
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,730
Meanwhile, I couldn't stop
thinking about her.
241
00:09:25,957 --> 00:09:27,548
She was so free, so wild.
242
00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:30,735
I wondered what it felt like to
walk a mile in her tiny shoes.
243
00:09:30,962 --> 00:09:33,387
It'd probably take a while,
because her feet are so small,
244
00:09:33,481 --> 00:09:36,557
but boy, oh, boy, I had
a feeling it would be worth it.
245
00:09:36,577 --> 00:09:38,392
-Ow. Tina.
-Sorry.
246
00:09:38,486 --> 00:09:40,728
So, have you found out
what's up?
247
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,730
On a scale of friendship
bracelets to teen pregnancy,
248
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,083
-how bad is it?
-No info yet.
249
00:09:45,310 --> 00:09:46,309
But, you know,
I've got some hunches
250
00:09:46,402 --> 00:09:48,478
and I'm eating some lunches.
251
00:09:48,496 --> 00:09:50,571
Okay.
252
00:09:50,665 --> 00:09:52,649
TINA:
I thought I had it
under control.
253
00:09:52,742 --> 00:09:56,686
But it turned out, what
I couldn't control was myself.
254
00:09:56,746 --> 00:09:59,580
♪ All of my life,
I've held it all in ♪
255
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:03,660
♪ Wondering what
I could've been ♪
256
00:10:03,678 --> 00:10:07,163
♪ If all of those things
I'm trying to hide ♪
257
00:10:07,256 --> 00:10:10,683
♪ Jumped out of my skin,
to the outside? ♪
258
00:10:10,836 --> 00:10:14,095
♪ Just give me a hand,
I'm tired of hiding ♪
259
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:17,949
♪ Give me a hand,
look at me striding ♪
260
00:10:18,101 --> 00:10:20,994
♪ I'm free as the breeze-y,
a little bit sleazy ♪
261
00:10:21,179 --> 00:10:26,124
♪ My God, it's not easy,
feeling so free-y. ♪
262
00:10:26,275 --> 00:10:27,700
-LOUISE: Tina.
-(shouts) Nothing.
263
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:30,111
-You were handy prancing.
-W-Was I?
264
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,522
You, uh, want to get up
on stage tomorrow?
265
00:10:32,540 --> 00:10:35,708
Oh, no, I don't think so.
This was just a-an accident.
266
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:37,360
Sure. Your hand just
accidentally fell
267
00:10:37,420 --> 00:10:39,212
into some of your old
Equestranaut clothes.
268
00:10:39,364 --> 00:10:41,306
(chuckles):
Yeah. You'd be, uh,
269
00:10:41,457 --> 00:10:42,974
surprised how often
that happens.
270
00:10:43,201 --> 00:10:45,368
(chuckles): Okay, well,
Mom says come to dinner.
271
00:10:45,387 --> 00:10:46,978
Great, let's all get out
of my room quickly, then.
272
00:10:47,130 --> 00:10:48,872
GENE:
We'd better hurry.
Looks like she's going
273
00:10:48,890 --> 00:10:50,815
for my spaghetti--
Mom, trip her!
274
00:10:51,042 --> 00:10:52,633
TINA:
What did it mean?
275
00:10:52,727 --> 00:10:54,878
I was supposed to be busting
those freewheeling fingers.
276
00:10:54,971 --> 00:10:56,062
But I wanted to be one?
277
00:10:56,214 --> 00:10:57,471
I was all mixed up
like some kind of...
278
00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:58,715
mixed-up thing.
279
00:10:58,808 --> 00:11:01,142
Okay, you must be wondering
about these.
280
00:11:01,236 --> 00:11:03,052
They're my old armpit hairnets
281
00:11:03,071 --> 00:11:04,812
from when I had
to wear armpit hairnets
282
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:05,722
in the restaurant.
283
00:11:05,740 --> 00:11:07,073
I thought we bronzed those.
284
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,983
They're for Teddy--
for his movie burgers.
285
00:11:09,077 --> 00:11:11,060
Linda, isn't that kind of gross?
286
00:11:11,154 --> 00:11:12,896
I mean, would you want
to eat a burger
287
00:11:12,914 --> 00:11:14,397
that's been
in somebody's armpit?
288
00:11:14,416 --> 00:11:16,082
Armpits are the cleanest part
of the body.
289
00:11:16,234 --> 00:11:19,160
(chuckling): No, I-I, I really
don't think that's true.
290
00:11:19,254 --> 00:11:20,737
Uh, besides, won't the burgers
291
00:11:20,830 --> 00:11:22,329
get all soggy and mushy
in there?
292
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,424
I've eaten plenty of food
that's been in Mom's armpit.
293
00:11:24,576 --> 00:11:26,409
That's how she warms stuff up
on the go.
294
00:11:26,428 --> 00:11:28,912
Bagels, baked potatoes,
empanadas, soup.
295
00:11:28,930 --> 00:11:31,022
Yeah, I made s'mores
in there one time.
296
00:11:31,249 --> 00:11:33,249
And what's your great idea,
Mr. Smarty-sneaks?
297
00:11:33,268 --> 00:11:38,087
Um, anything would be better
than food from your armpit.
298
00:11:38,106 --> 00:11:39,847
What about crotch, butt crack?
299
00:11:39,941 --> 00:11:41,107
Folded under one's boobs?
300
00:11:41,259 --> 00:11:42,367
Ooh, good idea.
301
00:11:42,594 --> 00:11:43,535
Tina, you're quiet.
302
00:11:43,762 --> 00:11:44,869
Uh, everything okay?
303
00:11:45,021 --> 00:11:46,763
Oh, sorry, um... delicious.
304
00:11:46,781 --> 00:11:48,373
-What?
-Dinner's delicious?
305
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:49,949
Is that
what we're talking about?
306
00:11:50,101 --> 00:11:51,267
Thank you, Tina.
307
00:11:51,286 --> 00:11:52,952
I'm not telling you
how I heated it up
308
00:11:53,104 --> 00:11:54,604
because apparently someone's
309
00:11:54,697 --> 00:11:56,105
-worried about that.
-Mmm.
310
00:11:56,124 --> 00:11:57,048
TINA:
I had it bad.
311
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,383
And that wasn't good.
312
00:11:58,610 --> 00:12:00,385
Unless... it was?
313
00:12:01,112 --> 00:12:02,128
(Tina humming)
314
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,055
Are you sure
she's working for Frond?
315
00:12:04,207 --> 00:12:05,539
I mean, something's going on.
316
00:12:05,633 --> 00:12:07,708
That was her lying face,
not her burping face.
317
00:12:07,802 --> 00:12:10,453
But one thing's for sure,
she's in over her head.
318
00:12:10,546 --> 00:12:13,380
And if we keep her in,
she won't rat us out.
319
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,066
TINA:
Could I hear them? Yes.
320
00:12:15,218 --> 00:12:16,626
They were very loud whisperers.
321
00:12:16,644 --> 00:12:17,810
So they were on to me,
322
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,404
and I was on to them
being on to me.
323
00:12:19,555 --> 00:12:21,388
And luckily,
Frond didn't suspect a thing.
324
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,299
-I suspect something.
-(shouts)
325
00:12:23,392 --> 00:12:25,076
I suspect you're not very good
at your job,
326
00:12:25,303 --> 00:12:26,393
because you haven't found squat.
327
00:12:26,488 --> 00:12:27,746
Back off, Frond!
I'm working on it!
328
00:12:27,973 --> 00:12:29,138
Go counsel something.
329
00:12:29,157 --> 00:12:31,140
Was I lying to him
or lying to myself?
330
00:12:31,159 --> 00:12:33,493
Was I in too deep
or not deep enough?
331
00:12:33,645 --> 00:12:35,736
Was I ready to change
or had I already changed?
332
00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:38,256
Who was I becoming
and was it becoming on me?
333
00:12:38,407 --> 00:12:40,741
Was I asking too many questions
or not enough?
334
00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:43,319
Or just the right amount?
All I wanted to do was the thing
335
00:12:43,412 --> 00:12:45,430
I was supposed to stop.
It was like my hand
336
00:12:45,657 --> 00:12:46,747
had a mind of its own.
337
00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:48,600
And now,
for the first time ever,
338
00:12:48,827 --> 00:12:50,251
give it up for... for...
339
00:12:50,345 --> 00:12:51,936
Uh, what-what was your name?
340
00:12:52,163 --> 00:12:54,606
Holly Monitors.
Because I'm a hall monitor.
341
00:12:54,757 --> 00:12:56,165
No, no, I get it, I get it.
342
00:12:56,259 --> 00:12:58,443
Give it up for Holly Monitors!
343
00:12:58,594 --> 00:13:00,528
-(cheering, applause)
-(shouts) I'm okay!
344
00:13:04,676 --> 00:13:06,767
TINA: It was a rush.
The crowd was electric.
345
00:13:06,861 --> 00:13:07,935
The feeling... it was...
346
00:13:08,029 --> 00:13:10,104
I had never felt
anything like it before.
347
00:13:10,198 --> 00:13:11,697
Absolute freedom.
348
00:13:11,850 --> 00:13:13,866
Holly knew what she wanted
and she went for it.
349
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,201
So whose side was I on?
350
00:13:15,353 --> 00:13:16,777
Well, I was more turned around
351
00:13:16,871 --> 00:13:18,521
than that time Aunt Gayle
got caught in her curtains.
352
00:13:18,540 --> 00:13:20,206
But as long as I could
keep struttin',
353
00:13:20,358 --> 00:13:21,357
that's all that mattered to me.
354
00:13:21,376 --> 00:13:23,192
So, I did what Holly wanted.
355
00:13:23,286 --> 00:13:25,211
And Holls, she wanted it alls.
356
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,046
I was living two lives.
357
00:13:27,198 --> 00:13:28,381
Busting kids in my vest.
358
00:13:28,533 --> 00:13:30,475
And busting moves in my dress.
359
00:13:30,626 --> 00:13:32,885
But it was getting
harder and harder
360
00:13:33,038 --> 00:13:34,295
to keep it up.
361
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,522
♪ ♪
362
00:13:39,969 --> 00:13:41,820
I was usually the one
on the sidelines,
363
00:13:42,047 --> 00:13:43,137
watching the show.
364
00:13:43,231 --> 00:13:44,714
(Gene and Louise vocalizing)
365
00:13:44,732 --> 00:13:45,898
-(Bob laughs)
-So good.
366
00:13:46,051 --> 00:13:47,550
TINA: But this time,
I was in the show.
367
00:13:47,569 --> 00:13:49,902
And, honey,
the show was in business.
368
00:13:50,055 --> 00:13:51,496
You know, show business?
369
00:13:51,723 --> 00:13:54,240
But nothing this complicated
can go on for long
370
00:13:54,392 --> 00:13:56,242
without someone getting hurt.
371
00:13:56,394 --> 00:13:58,169
Hi, kids. How was school?
372
00:13:58,321 --> 00:13:59,504
Great.
Everything is totally fine.
373
00:13:59,731 --> 00:14:01,840
And I'm not hiding anything
from anyone.
374
00:14:02,067 --> 00:14:03,749
Okay...
375
00:14:03,902 --> 00:14:05,993
TINA:
I didn't want to worry Mom.
She was a good girl.
376
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:07,753
She didn't need to get
mixed up in all this.
377
00:14:07,906 --> 00:14:09,663
-Psst. Tina?
-Yeah? What?
378
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:11,165
You were great today.
379
00:14:11,259 --> 00:14:12,666
Yeah, your hand
only fell over twice.
380
00:14:12,793 --> 00:14:15,411
-And you only fell over
three times.
-Thanks.
381
00:14:15,504 --> 00:14:17,413
So, Teddy, do you want
to use my pit holders
382
00:14:17,506 --> 00:14:19,190
to get the burgers
into the movies or what?
383
00:14:19,417 --> 00:14:21,342
-It's perfect, right?
-Um...
384
00:14:21,436 --> 00:14:23,194
-(groans)
-Don't worry, Teddy.
385
00:14:23,346 --> 00:14:24,754
You don't need to answer that.
386
00:14:24,772 --> 00:14:26,105
I figured out a better way
387
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,348
for you to get the burgers in.
388
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,291
-You did?
-Yep. All you need is
389
00:14:29,293 --> 00:14:30,702
eight plastic bags and a vest.
390
00:14:30,853 --> 00:14:34,447
You see? Each part of the burger
is contained in its own bag.
391
00:14:34,599 --> 00:14:37,250
Wow. That is elaborate, Bob.
(chuckles)
392
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:39,193
Okay, and so you just
take each part out
393
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,861
and build the burger fresh.
394
00:14:40,955 --> 00:14:43,289
No soggy buns.
Now I just sit down,
395
00:14:43,441 --> 00:14:45,216
wait for the movie to begin,
396
00:14:45,443 --> 00:14:47,944
and make myself
the perfect burger to eat.
397
00:14:47,962 --> 00:14:49,536
Oh, shoot. Hang on.
398
00:14:49,664 --> 00:14:51,631
-Bob, your tomato fell out.
-I can see that, Teddy.
399
00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:54,541
Still seems like a perfect plan
though, Bobby. (chuckles)
400
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:56,969
It'll work. Okay,
now I just take out each bag
401
00:14:57,122 --> 00:14:59,805
in order,
starting with the bottom bun...
402
00:14:59,958 --> 00:15:01,382
-That's lettuce.
-Thank you, Teddy.
403
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,050
Uh, hang on.
Let me just fix this.
404
00:15:03,144 --> 00:15:04,885
You know what, maybe
we'll just get popcorn, right?
405
00:15:04,979 --> 00:15:07,071
We'll get an extra large
and we'll just split it.
406
00:15:07,298 --> 00:15:09,223
What? No!
Take my pit holders, Teddy.
407
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:11,134
No, no, take mine.
I-I fixed it, look.
408
00:15:11,152 --> 00:15:13,394
-Oh, crap.
-I'm just gonna put
the holders on you.
409
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,488
-So you have 'em if you want.
-No, that's okay.
410
00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:17,398
Lin, I don't want
the pit... things.
411
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,308
-He wants this!
-No. Uh...
412
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:20,401
Wait, w-where are you going?
413
00:15:20,495 --> 00:15:22,086
-Teddy, take 'em!
-Uh, I... I...
414
00:15:22,313 --> 00:15:23,829
-You're gonna love 'em,
Teddy, come on!
-Take it, Teddy!
415
00:15:23,982 --> 00:15:25,498
-Teddy, come on!
-BOB: Teddy, take this.
-Ah, you know
416
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:27,500
I can't handle
when two people talk to me!
417
00:15:27,652 --> 00:15:29,819
-(screaming)
-Huh.
418
00:15:29,912 --> 00:15:32,579
I can't believe he didn't
like either of those ideas.
419
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,507
-I know.
-His loss.
420
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:37,160
TINA:
Anyway, life was good. Too good.
421
00:15:37,253 --> 00:15:39,753
It's like I always say,
when you're on top of the world,
422
00:15:39,847 --> 00:15:41,681
the only place left to go
is down.
423
00:15:41,833 --> 00:15:44,108
Okay, I didn't always say that,
but I'm saying it now.
424
00:15:44,335 --> 00:15:45,777
And I plan on saying it again
425
00:15:46,004 --> 00:15:47,111
because it's fun to say.
426
00:15:47,263 --> 00:15:49,263
-Tina. My office, now.
-(shouts)
427
00:15:49,357 --> 00:15:50,782
I need something, Tina.
428
00:15:50,933 --> 00:15:53,451
The open house is so close,
and kids are still acting weird.
429
00:15:53,678 --> 00:15:55,845
I need more time!
Give me a few weeks!
430
00:15:55,863 --> 00:15:58,272
-The open house is in two days.
-Okay, I didn't know that.
431
00:15:58,366 --> 00:16:00,533
What? You made the banner
that says the date on it.
432
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:03,352
Wait a minute.
Who are you protecting?
433
00:16:03,371 --> 00:16:05,371
Who got to you?
Was it Lenny DeStefano?
434
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,614
He got an eighth-grade girl
to keep his rabbit
435
00:16:07,709 --> 00:16:09,192
in her lunchbox for three weeks.
436
00:16:09,285 --> 00:16:10,969
I know he's very powerful.
437
00:16:11,196 --> 00:16:12,453
I'm not protecting anyone!
438
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,121
I just haven't found
anything yet!
439
00:16:14,215 --> 00:16:17,958
(sighs) Tina, I didn't want it
to come to this, but...
440
00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:19,811
I may have to take your vest.
441
00:16:19,962 --> 00:16:22,038
-What? No!
-I can tell you're lying.
442
00:16:22,056 --> 00:16:24,649
Your-your face looks
absolutely bananas.
443
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:26,484
Uh...
444
00:16:26,635 --> 00:16:27,727
What choice did I have?
445
00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,879
I had to tell him something.
446
00:16:29,897 --> 00:16:31,489
(Millie humming)
447
00:16:33,234 --> 00:16:35,142
-(cheering, applause)
-There you have her, folks!
448
00:16:35,236 --> 00:16:37,069
Fing-lise Belcher.
449
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:38,645
This is very weird, Millie.
I don't like it.
450
00:16:38,740 --> 00:16:41,407
Because you love it?
Can we hold hands now?
451
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,835
Louise! Louise, there's
something you need to know!
452
00:16:44,062 --> 00:16:45,152
Hey, what is it, T?
453
00:16:45,246 --> 00:16:47,005
-You lookin' for stage time?
-No, I...
454
00:16:47,156 --> 00:16:48,898
What in the world?!
455
00:16:48,916 --> 00:16:50,174
Tina! You didn't!
456
00:16:50,326 --> 00:16:51,509
No! I actually didn't. I mean,
457
00:16:51,660 --> 00:16:53,402
I came here to tell you
that he wanted me to,
458
00:16:53,421 --> 00:16:54,587
but I didn't tell him anything!
459
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:55,755
Yeah, right.
460
00:16:55,907 --> 00:16:57,498
I knew I shouldn't
have trusted a vest.
461
00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:59,851
I am a vest,
but I'm also your sister.
462
00:17:00,002 --> 00:17:01,410
Not anymore you're not.
463
00:17:01,429 --> 00:17:02,503
All right, everyone.
464
00:17:02,597 --> 00:17:04,188
Pack up your adorable
little accessories
465
00:17:04,340 --> 00:17:06,582
and get out of here!
They're banned!
466
00:17:06,675 --> 00:17:09,268
This is all banned,
effective immediately!
467
00:17:09,420 --> 00:17:11,195
Here's a finger,
now get out of here.
468
00:17:11,347 --> 00:17:13,180
-That's your thumb.
-The thumb is a finger.
469
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,533
-No. This is a finger.
-Millie!
470
00:17:19,614 --> 00:17:21,205
TINA:
And just like that,
it was all gone.
471
00:17:21,432 --> 00:17:22,948
The fun, the friendships,
the fingers.
472
00:17:23,101 --> 00:17:24,691
I had flown too close
to the sun.
473
00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,527
In this case, my mom's son, uh,
474
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,546
and also her daughter,
who happened to be
475
00:17:28,697 --> 00:17:29,955
my brother and sister.
476
00:17:30,108 --> 00:17:31,049
And they didn't want
anything to do with me.
477
00:17:31,276 --> 00:17:32,383
Louise switched seats
478
00:17:32,535 --> 00:17:34,277
at dinner so our elbows
wouldn't bump.
479
00:17:34,295 --> 00:17:35,869
Sure, Gene still invited me
480
00:17:35,889 --> 00:17:37,613
to serve him bubble bath
chicken nuggets,
481
00:17:37,632 --> 00:17:39,632
but we didn't have our usual
bubble bath chicken nugget
482
00:17:39,784 --> 00:17:41,375
banter-- it was all business.
483
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,210
I was back
on the right side of the law.
484
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:44,970
So why did it feel so wrong?
485
00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:47,623
Frond banned handy prancing
for good.
486
00:17:47,716 --> 00:17:49,125
The case was closed.
487
00:17:49,143 --> 00:17:51,218
And the school was
about to be open... housed.
488
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:52,386
Open housed.
489
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,797
Okay, Tina,
let's test out the video.
490
00:17:54,890 --> 00:17:57,391
No! Don't turn the camera on.
491
00:17:57,485 --> 00:18:00,152
Play the video called
"Wagstaff Faces and Places."
492
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:01,304
Sorry.
493
00:18:01,322 --> 00:18:02,638
♪ ♪
494
00:18:02,657 --> 00:18:04,323
I didn't sleep a wink
that night.
495
00:18:04,475 --> 00:18:06,400
Normally, I have
restless leg syndrome.
496
00:18:06,494 --> 00:18:08,402
But that night,
I had restless finger syndrome.
497
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,237
And that's when I had the idea.
498
00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:11,997
FROND:
And now...
499
00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:14,483
Phillip Frond Productions
proudly presents:
500
00:18:14,577 --> 00:18:17,077
Walk on into Wagstaff,
501
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:19,246
a full-day immersive experience
502
00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:22,082
that will have you saying,
"Holy cow!"
503
00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:24,418
(chuckles)
And, Tina, go.
504
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:26,846
(exhales) Okay.
505
00:18:26,998 --> 00:18:29,440
♪ ♪
506
00:18:29,667 --> 00:18:32,501
No. No. No, no,
no, no, no! No! No!
507
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:34,003
Oh, look, a little dancing hand.
508
00:18:34,096 --> 00:18:36,597
I love it.
509
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,007
This is a fun assembly.
510
00:18:38,025 --> 00:18:39,600
I thought it was gonna be
boring school stuff.
511
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:41,193
(singsongy): This feels
like a good time for a burger,
512
00:18:41,346 --> 00:18:43,512
doesn't it? A not-mushy burger.
513
00:18:43,531 --> 00:18:45,772
Hmm, those buns look
pretty smooshed.
514
00:18:45,867 --> 00:18:49,443
Unlike this bun-- oh, no, wait,
that's a tomato. Hang on.
515
00:18:49,537 --> 00:18:51,629
Tina! Tina, stop!
516
00:18:51,856 --> 00:18:54,465
TINA: I'd made some phone calls
the night before.
517
00:18:54,692 --> 00:18:56,208
Told some finger friends
to wear their Sunday best,
518
00:18:56,344 --> 00:18:57,635
even though it was a Friday.
519
00:18:57,786 --> 00:18:58,711
And since Gene and Louise
520
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,287
were always surprising me,
521
00:19:00,381 --> 00:19:02,140
I thought I'd surprise them
for once.
522
00:19:02,291 --> 00:19:03,975
(chuckles):
Tina, you son of a bitch.
523
00:19:04,126 --> 00:19:05,476
Hey, go on up there, Gene.
524
00:19:05,628 --> 00:19:07,219
Give us a Mavis moment.
525
00:19:07,372 --> 00:19:09,388
Nah, this is
Holly Monitors' show.
526
00:19:09,540 --> 00:19:13,025
I'm just gonna use these
to do this.
527
00:19:16,047 --> 00:19:17,563
So, what,
is she suspended or something?
528
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:18,972
I thought it was cute.
529
00:19:19,066 --> 00:19:21,659
Well, lucky for Tina,
so did the superintendent.
530
00:19:21,886 --> 00:19:23,327
She said it was
the first creative thing
531
00:19:23,554 --> 00:19:26,055
she's ever seen me do,
so I took credit for it.
532
00:19:26,148 --> 00:19:27,556
Oh. So, I'm not in trouble?
533
00:19:27,575 --> 00:19:30,334
No, but if I ever see
those fingers again...
534
00:19:30,561 --> 00:19:33,078
(stammers)
I'm sorry, did you just take
535
00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:34,914
french fries out of your armpit?
536
00:19:35,066 --> 00:19:36,248
Yeah! You want some?
537
00:19:36,401 --> 00:19:38,158
-They're great.
-I have some, too.
538
00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:39,993
Uh, kind of near my butt.
A baggie slid down.
539
00:19:40,087 --> 00:19:41,754
I think we're done here.
540
00:19:41,906 --> 00:19:43,072
♪ ♪
541
00:19:43,165 --> 00:19:44,757
TINA: I sure was gonna miss
Holly Monitors.
542
00:19:44,909 --> 00:19:47,259
But then, I guess, a little
part of me will always be
543
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:50,730
-Holly Monitors-- the hand part.
-(knocking)
544
00:19:52,007 --> 00:19:53,858
Mavis. How'd you know
where to find me?
545
00:19:54,009 --> 00:19:55,751
GENE (high-pitched):
I asked around.
546
00:19:55,770 --> 00:19:56,861
(normal voice):
Can we come in?
547
00:19:57,012 --> 00:19:58,604
So it was you
who told Mr. Frond?
548
00:19:58,756 --> 00:20:00,923
But why?
You were on top of the world.
549
00:20:01,016 --> 00:20:03,259
Sure, it started that way.
At first,
550
00:20:03,352 --> 00:20:06,445
-I loved the attention.
-ALL (chanting):
Mavis! Mavis! Mavis!
551
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,431
But what began
as an occasional gig
552
00:20:08,449 --> 00:20:09,874
turned into
an every lunchtime thing.
553
00:20:10,025 --> 00:20:13,193
I was missing so many gorditas,
so many ham sandwiches.
554
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:15,771
But Louise didn't want me
to stop. She was getting rich.
555
00:20:15,790 --> 00:20:18,107
I was having a good time, but
it was wearing a little thin.
556
00:20:18,125 --> 00:20:21,535
(high-pitched):
Thinner than the elastic
on my favorite finger tube top.
557
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:24,538
Mr. Frond put the screws
to me and I let it all out.
558
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:25,948
I told him everything!
Everything!
559
00:20:25,967 --> 00:20:27,616
You didn't have
to tell him, Gene.
560
00:20:27,710 --> 00:20:29,134
I threw him off the scent
with a really good lie
561
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:30,728
that everyone was just doing
a lot of studying these days.
562
00:20:30,879 --> 00:20:33,622
Frankly, it was a relief.
The spotlight isn't always
563
00:20:33,716 --> 00:20:35,624
what it's cracked up to be, kid.
564
00:20:35,643 --> 00:20:37,384
I love being Mavis,
but sometimes you just want to
565
00:20:37,478 --> 00:20:39,295
use your fingers
for lickin' and pickin'.
566
00:20:39,388 --> 00:20:41,239
And occasionally flickin'.
567
00:20:41,466 --> 00:20:42,481
I'm sorry I didn't
tell you right away.
568
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,075
And I'm sorry
I didn't tell Louise.
569
00:20:44,226 --> 00:20:45,484
You loved handy prancing
and she loved
570
00:20:45,636 --> 00:20:47,912
-all that candy and money.
-That's okay.
571
00:20:48,063 --> 00:20:49,488
Well, would you ever want to...
572
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,732
-tread the boards
at home with me?
-(high-pitched): Honey,
573
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,976
all you had to do was ask.
574
00:20:53,995 --> 00:20:56,337
(Gene grunting)
575
00:20:58,316 --> 00:21:01,000
♪ Hey, it's time to do
the handy prance ♪
576
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:03,836
♪ Yeah, it's time to let
your digits dance ♪
577
00:21:03,988 --> 00:21:06,505
♪ It doesn't matter
if your moves are fancy ♪
578
00:21:06,657 --> 00:21:08,966
♪ Get to the boiler room
and take a chance-y ♪
579
00:21:09,193 --> 00:21:10,751
♪ Put some clothing
on your fingers ♪
580
00:21:10,845 --> 00:21:12,419
♪ Come and join the swingers ♪
581
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:13,662
♪ With Gene ♪
582
00:21:13,681 --> 00:21:15,439
♪ Let's see
those fingers kicking ♪
583
00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:17,441
♪ Dance, dance, dance,
dance, dance, dance ♪
584
00:21:17,593 --> 00:21:19,502
-♪ Don't be a chicken ♪
-♪ Dance, dance ♪
585
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,612
-♪ Do the handy prance ♪
-♪ Don't sit there lickin' ♪
586
00:21:21,839 --> 00:21:23,672
-♪ Dance, dance, dance, dance ♪
-♪ Or pickin' ♪
587
00:21:23,766 --> 00:21:25,616
-♪ Or lickin' or pickin' ♪
-♪ Dance, dance ♪
588
00:21:25,843 --> 00:21:27,267
-♪ Or sometimes flickin' ♪
-♪ Dance, dance ♪
589
00:21:27,361 --> 00:21:29,120
♪ Your brother's hand is cool ♪
590
00:21:29,271 --> 00:21:30,604
♪ You can't resist her,
dress in your horse's clothes ♪
591
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:31,998
♪ And join him, sister. ♪
592
00:21:32,107 --> 00:21:33,015
Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT
593
00:21:33,108 --> 00:21:34,000
and TOYOTA.