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♪ ♪
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What a catering gig, huh?
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The Glencrest Yacht Club
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-Christmas Yacht Parade.
-Yay.
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Yeah, they put Christmas lights
on boats
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and sail them
through the harbor,
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and the whole town can come.
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And there's a Santa,
and they do Hanukkah, too,
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which is nice, 'cause
let's just say the yacht club
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didn't always do Hanukkah.
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Anyway, it's gonna be great.
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Yeah, and I can't wait
to try out my
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"I'm Brie-ing
of a White Crisp-mas" sliders.
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With Brie, and crispy onions.
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It's kinda complicated.
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I might be nervous
and trying too hard.
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No.
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I'm actually not sure
why the yacht club
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asked us to do this.
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I mean, the other restaurants
they invited
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are pretty impressive,
and we're us.
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It's a little strange, right?
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-Not strange.
-Pretty strange.
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Strangely pretty?
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I mean, how does the yacht club
even know about us?
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The person I've been
coordinating with wasn't sure.
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Stop looking
for reasons to worry, Bob.
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Mm. I'm just not used
to good stuff happening.
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Think of it like a gift
from Santa.
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If Santa brings something nice,
you don't ask questions.
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You take it
and keep your mouth shut.
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Yeah, I do not want to know
where Santa gets all that stuff.
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-The elves' workshop?
-That's a front.
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-Hey, Bob.
-Hey Trev.
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-Happy holidays.
-Happy holidays.
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-Ha.
-Okay, bye.
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-Zoom! (laughs)
-Ah, good one, Jimmy.
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I get it,
humiliating and dominating me.
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Well, you were asking for it
by standing there.
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-Ugh. Jimmy.
-All right.
Come on, kids, let's go.
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-Give Trev his dignity.
-You don't need pants, Trev.
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Not with those knees.
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Hello.
Can I help you?
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Yeah, we're, uh, caterers,
for the yacht parade.
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Caterers? You'll be
setting up in the marina.
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Please go around the building.
Inside is for members only.
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-"Members" as in "wieners"?
-Excuse me?
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Uh, n-nothing.
Uh, we'll go around. Thank you.
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Look at us,
going around a yacht club.
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-Afternoon.
-Mr. President. Good afternoon.
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Wait, uh, that was
the club president?
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Uh, could I speak to him?
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I'm just curious
how you guys picked us.
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The president's
really busy right now.
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-Good for him.
-Bob, come on, we got to set up.
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-Um, uh, okay.
-Try not to step
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on the ground too much.
Thank you.
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Oh, ho, ho.
Hello, friends.
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-Hey, Teddy.
-Hi.
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It's me, Teddy...
Oh, you all knew.
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That's disappointing, somehow.
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So you're the yacht club Santa?
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Yeah. I-I was doing some work
at the club and they asked me.
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The guy they were gonna use
got in shape this year,
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to "stay alive longer."
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His loss, my gain, right, guys?
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-Mm-hmm.
-Well, congrats.
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Got to admit, I'm nervous.
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I mean,
I'm on the Santa Schooner.
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Me. I'm the guy
on the Santa Schooner.
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-What's the Santa Schooner?
-What's the Santa Schooner?
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The last yacht
in the yacht parade.
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We come right up to the dock,
and I step off
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with a big bag of fancy presents
donated by club members.
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-Fancy what now?
-And I go over and I get
welcomed by the mayor.
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The mayor?
Bob, the mayor.
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-The mayor!
-I heard him, Lin.
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And then I hand out presents
to kids on the dock.
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Eh, but I don't know if I have
what it takes to be Santa.
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The guy's so organized with that
list and the checking it twice.
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And those rosy cheeks.
A-Are my cheeks even rosy?
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-They're ruddy.
-Teddy, about those presents.
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Uh-huh.
Some really nice stuff.
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Dollies, action figures,
doing all types of actions.
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-Intriguing.
-What else?
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One member owns
a remote control car company,
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and he donated a few cars
from his private reserve.
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-They go just a little too fast.
-How fast?
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Ram it into your foot at full
speed, you're losing a toenail.
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-Holy crap, I want that.
-Whoa.
-Hmm.
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But the good stuff's
gonna run out.
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After that it's just
a bunch of erasers
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donated by a defense lawyer.
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They say
"We Make Your Mistakes Go Away."
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Sounds like a great lawyer
and a bad present.
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If you want a good present,
you better get in line early.
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All those kids
are waiting already.
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-Mom, Dad, it's been real.
-Louise, kids, no.
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Yeah, sorry, guys.
We didn't know about
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the whole present thing.
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And we need your help
prepping the sliders.
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The recipe's pretty involved.
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Oh, my God.
There's free presents for kids,
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and what are we?
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-That's right, we're kids!
-Teen kids, some of us.
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And Gene kids.
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But it's also fun
to work with your family
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and get presents in two days
at Regular People Christmas.
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No, it isn't!
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-Sorry. We love you.
-No, you don't!
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-Tina!
-All right,
we better get set up.
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-Uh, good luck, Teddy.
-Uh, hey.
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For the rest of the night,
call me Santa, okay?
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-I'll try.
-I'll try what?
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I'll try, Santa.
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Maybe your eyes could light up
like a child's when you say it?
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-Teddy.
-Yep, I'm gonna go. Bye, guys.
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Oh, what a night.
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We got twinkly lights,
floaty boats,
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-the mayor's gonna be here.
-Yep.
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I still don't get
why you love the mayor so much.
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Because he's got that walk.
He's like...
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(chanting):
"I'm the mayor, look at me.
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-Helping my community."
-Uh-huh.
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Oh. Uh, Mr. uh...
uh, President man?
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Sorry.
I-I don't know your name.
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-Mr. President Man is fine.
-Oh, okay.
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-Uh, do you have a second?
-Not really.
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We're doing a little ceremony
later for tonight's vendors--
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like yourself-- and I need
to prepare my remarks.
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Which is what I call
the drinks I'm gonna have.
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(laughs)
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Ha, ha.
Well, I'll be quick.
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Uh, my name is Bob Belcher.
This is my family.
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-Hi.
-My liege.
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I was wondering,
uh, how did you hear about us?
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Well, like all the vendors,
you came highly recommended
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by someone
in our yachting community.
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You see, Bob?
It's not the crazy, evil plan
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of someone out
to get you somehow.
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Who recommended us?
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-Hmm. Who was that?
-JIMMY: Hey, look out!
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Expensive boat coming through.
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Oh, that's right.
It was Jimmy Pesto.
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Jimmy Pesto?
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He took out a second mortgage
for this.
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Shush.
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Oh, God.
It is the crazy, evil plan
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of someone
out to get me somehow.
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-Bob...
-Linda, this is a trap.
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Great. A festive Christmas trap
with my family.
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Aw, family.
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Ugh, Jimmy. I knew this job
was too good to be true.
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Bob, don't be paranoid.
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-(sighs) He's coming over here.
-LOUISE: Great.
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-We're gonna check out
the gift situation.
-No.
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-Kids, you got to prep.
-We finished.
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-What? Already?
-It's a Christmas miracle,
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and also we went really fast
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and don't look too closely
at our work.
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Need anything else,
or you're good?
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-You're good? You're good.
-JIMMY: Hey, hey.
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Look who it is,
the Ghost of Christmas...
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(fart sound)
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-(laughs)
-Ha. Fart ghost.
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You recommended us
for this, Jimmy?
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Yeah, the president and I
are bro buddies.
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He needed vendors,
so I threw out some names.
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He's definitely gonna have
to make you a member now.
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H-Hey, I am a member,
practically.
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Top of the wait list.
Up top.
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-Nuh-uh.
-Down low?
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-Nope.
-But Christmas.
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So, you did this out
of the goodness of your heart?
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Yeah.
'Tis the season, right?
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Uh, but, uh,
why don't you just worry
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about your tiny burgers, Bob?
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Ha.
Cause sliders are small.
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Why don't you have
a booth, Jimmy?
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I got to mingle.
I mean, these are my people.
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-Eh. Could be, if you get in.
-Would you ju... Listen.
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I know you're
up to something, Jimmy.
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-Do you hear me?!
-(chuckles): He's fine.
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Happy holidays.
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Ugh.
So many kids in line.
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Yep, we're getting erasers.
We're eraser children.
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Sweet siblings,
we won't be waiting in line.
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Waiting is for people who aren't
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close personal friends
with Santa.
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About to board the old
Santa Schooner, huh, Teddy?
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(chuckles):
I mean, Santa.
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-How you feeling?
-Still nervous.
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I-I thought I was having
a heart attack, but I wasn't.
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Great, great. So you know we've
always thought of you as...
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kind of a father figure,
mixed with an uncle.
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With a splash of stranger.
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Just enough
to keep it interesting.
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Wow. Okay.
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So, Uncle Father Santa Teddy,
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you've got a yacht full
of presents to give to kids,
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and we are kids.
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So why don't you go
on the yacht,
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grab a primo gift or three, and,
uh, do what Santa does best?
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-Fly?
-No. I'm saying
give some gifts to us.
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Oh.
W-Would Santa do that?
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Uh, what about those kids
waiting in line?
207
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-For hours, some of them.
-Yeah, Louise.
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-What about the kids
waiting in line?
-Seriously?
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Don't talk to us
about waiting in line, okay?
210
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-We've been waiting in line
all our lives.
-Preach.
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You've seen what it's like for
us, Uncle Father Santa Teddy,
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in our so-called house.
213
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You don't have to do it,
Uncle Santa Father...
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-uh, sorry, I forget your title.
-Tina.
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Uh, what would Santa do?
What would he do?
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I'm sorry, kids.
I feel weird about this.
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I got to go, and-and not
because I have nervous diarrhea.
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Hey, does this yacht
have a toilet?
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And not because I have
nervous diarrhea.
220
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Ugh.
Now what are we gonna do?
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Go back and work
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and try to make the best
of what little we have?
223
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Well, that's a sad thing to hear
a kid say at Christmastime.
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Hey, Gus. Don't worry
about us, you enjoy yourself.
225
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Oh, I'm enjoying myself.
226
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I'm having craft beers and
chicken satay and craft beers.
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It-it's okay, I'm not driving.
I took my dinghy.
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-I took my dinghy, too.
-(sighs) Let's get back
to the booth.
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But let's take the long,
avoiding-work way. Bye, Gus.
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Bye, kids.
Ooh, what do we have here?
231
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Another drink ticket.
Merry Christmas to Gus!
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Oh, my God, Bob,
I just had a brain thought.
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What if the mayor
tries one of our burgers?
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-Uh-huh.
-He'll love it!
235
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,503
Next he'll be hanging
out in the restaurant,
236
00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:44,097
asking us advice on city stuff,
237
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,024
where to put buildings
and whatnot.
238
00:08:46,175 --> 00:08:47,508
I always thought there
should be one right over there.
239
00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:50,270
-What is he up to?
-Huh? What? Who?
240
00:08:50,422 --> 00:08:52,939
Jimmy. I know he's got something
up his stupid sleeve.
241
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:56,368
He wants to embarrass me then
high-five all his rich friends.
242
00:08:56,561 --> 00:08:59,020
-Bob, you're being crazy.
-Hmm.
243
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,930
Anyway, Jimmy wants
to impress the yacht people.
244
00:09:00,991 --> 00:09:04,117
-He's not gonna do
some dumb prank.
-Wait. You're right.
245
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,286
-Yeah.
-That's why Jimmy brought Trev.
246
00:09:06,438 --> 00:09:08,271
He-he's gonna make Trev do it,
247
00:09:08,331 --> 00:09:10,549
and then, uh, Jimmy
keeps his hands clean.
248
00:09:10,700 --> 00:09:12,776
-Uh, I'll be back.
-Bobby, no.
249
00:09:12,836 --> 00:09:14,944
Don't go starting something.
It's Yacht-mas.
250
00:09:14,963 --> 00:09:17,781
It's time for truth, Lin.
It's truth o'clock.
251
00:09:17,841 --> 00:09:19,949
He's okay.
He's merry.
252
00:09:20,051 --> 00:09:21,618
He's a yacht mess.
253
00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:23,453
Look, it's Bob.
254
00:09:23,513 --> 00:09:25,622
-Hey Trev.
-Heh. Whatever, Bob.
255
00:09:25,724 --> 00:09:28,141
Hm. Jimmy's not around.
Do you have to talk like that?
256
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:31,236
Uh, yeah.
I have social anxiety, Bob.
257
00:09:31,429 --> 00:09:32,737
(sighs)
Okay. Uh, listen,
258
00:09:32,930 --> 00:09:34,814
I know you and Jimmy
have something planned.
259
00:09:34,966 --> 00:09:37,242
Probably something
stupid and awful,
260
00:09:37,435 --> 00:09:39,302
but you shouldn't do it.
261
00:09:39,321 --> 00:09:40,561
How'd you know about that?
262
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:42,305
So there is something!
What-what is it?
263
00:09:42,365 --> 00:09:44,082
Bob?
Stop breathing on Trev.
264
00:09:44,275 --> 00:09:45,642
I know you're
up to something, Jimmy.
265
00:09:45,702 --> 00:09:47,644
-Trev just admitted it.
-What?
266
00:09:47,662 --> 00:09:49,254
-Ugh, I didn't.
-Whatever it is,
267
00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:50,980
you're not getting me
tonight, Jimmy.
268
00:09:51,041 --> 00:09:53,091
Oh, loosen up, will you?
Especially your belt.
269
00:09:53,284 --> 00:09:54,484
(laughs)
'Cause of your body.
270
00:09:54,544 --> 00:09:56,653
-Body.
-Zoom! (chuckles)
271
00:09:56,671 --> 00:09:58,321
Trev, come on. There's a yacht
over here with a dirty name.
272
00:09:58,423 --> 00:10:00,247
-Classic. I love names.
-(snickering)
273
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,766
Well, none of it's
gonna work, Jimmy.
274
00:10:01,918 --> 00:10:04,251
And-and I don't even have
a belt. It's elastic.
275
00:10:04,313 --> 00:10:07,088
And it fits fine, sort of.
276
00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:09,274
Wait.
Loosen your belt?
277
00:10:09,467 --> 00:10:11,425
(distorted): Zoom!
278
00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:13,336
Yes.
That's it.
279
00:10:13,396 --> 00:10:15,839
He wants to pants me
in front of rich people.
280
00:10:15,857 --> 00:10:17,357
That monster.
281
00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:19,100
Not this time.
No, Jimmy.
282
00:10:19,161 --> 00:10:22,269
This time it's gonna
be your pants!
283
00:10:22,331 --> 00:10:24,331
(cackles)
284
00:10:26,576 --> 00:10:28,534
We like to keep
this walkway clear.
285
00:10:28,687 --> 00:10:30,353
-Oh. Uh, I'm sorry.
-You're still on it.
286
00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:32,538
-Oh, okay, um...
-Thank you.
287
00:10:32,691 --> 00:10:33,965
-Here?
-Thank you.
288
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:41,473
Aw, look at the boats,
all lit up.
289
00:10:41,624 --> 00:10:43,716
Here you go.
Stocking stuffer for your mouth.
290
00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:46,552
Stuff it, in a good way.
Bob, what are you doing?
291
00:10:46,705 --> 00:10:49,222
I'm using bungee cords to make
myself impossible to pants.
292
00:10:49,358 --> 00:10:51,465
Yeah, Mom, what's it look
like he's doing?
293
00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:53,318
Listen, I know you thought
this job
294
00:10:53,469 --> 00:10:54,894
was too good to be true,
and yeah,
295
00:10:55,046 --> 00:10:57,155
the Jimmy thing's weird,
but you got to get a grip.
296
00:10:57,324 --> 00:11:00,659
I have a grip.
A firm grip, on my pants.
297
00:11:00,852 --> 00:11:02,327
-That's my guy.
-I'm worried about Dad.
298
00:11:02,478 --> 00:11:03,811
I'm worried it took him
this long
299
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,646
to figure out he looks great
in bungee cords.
300
00:11:05,707 --> 00:11:06,890
Guys, do you see what I see?
301
00:11:06,908 --> 00:11:08,074
It's Gus.
302
00:11:08,226 --> 00:11:10,059
TINA:
Yep, that's Gus all right.
303
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,745
-So you just want us to
watch Gus for a little bit?
-I'm in.
304
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:15,674
No, his boat. He can take us
to the Santa Schooner.
305
00:11:15,867 --> 00:11:18,193
-Follow my lead.
-(groans)
306
00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:20,661
Mom, we're exhausted.
We need a break.
307
00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:22,847
And a foot rub,
but we'll get to that later.
308
00:11:22,999 --> 00:11:25,350
Oh, uh, Bob, can we manage
without the kids?
309
00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:27,001
Wait, I could run
another bungee cord
310
00:11:27,062 --> 00:11:28,186
under my crotch.
311
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,304
Oh, yeah, you've got this.
312
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,932
Fine. If you see the mayor, tell
him about our mayor special.
313
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,084
Is it smothered in mayor-naise?
314
00:11:35,103 --> 00:11:36,361
Now it is.
315
00:11:36,554 --> 00:11:38,254
I'm gonna tell the mayor
I thought of that.
316
00:11:38,356 --> 00:11:41,274
-Gus, buddy!
-Children.
317
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:42,775
Looks like someone's
got a date
318
00:11:42,928 --> 00:11:44,703
with that salty lass, the sea.
319
00:11:44,896 --> 00:11:47,447
Oh, yup, going home,
to the ocean.
320
00:11:47,599 --> 00:11:49,432
Just kidding.
I live in a house.
321
00:11:49,492 --> 00:11:51,859
Wait, we need to get out
to that yacht over there.
322
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:54,954
The one with Santa
barfing off the side?
323
00:11:55,090 --> 00:11:57,048
That's the one.
We need to, uh...
324
00:11:57,241 --> 00:11:59,033
get barf medicine to him.
325
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,052
We're doctors.
Damn good ones.
326
00:12:01,245 --> 00:12:03,296
-Nope. Nope, we're not.
-She's not, we are.
327
00:12:03,448 --> 00:12:05,615
Hey, I know what this is.
328
00:12:05,675 --> 00:12:07,467
You kids want to go
on that Santa Schooner
329
00:12:07,619 --> 00:12:08,618
and get the pick of the litter.
330
00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:10,061
-What?! No.
-Exactly.
331
00:12:10,254 --> 00:12:12,472
It's okay, I get it.
I always kind of wanted
332
00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:14,123
to take down Santa.
333
00:12:14,184 --> 00:12:16,550
It's the ultimate heist.
Hop in.
334
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:18,962
-(groans)
-Untie that, will you?
335
00:12:19,022 --> 00:12:20,739
Oh, wait, not that one.
Oh, God.
336
00:12:20,932 --> 00:12:23,466
Uh, let's go, let's go!
337
00:12:24,636 --> 00:12:27,245
Bob, parade's almost over
and what do you know,
338
00:12:27,438 --> 00:12:29,230
no one's tried to pants you.
339
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,916
-Huh, I mean, that's true.
-PRESIDENT: Testing, testing.
340
00:12:32,068 --> 00:12:33,567
I love to yacht,
I live to yacht.
341
00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:34,919
My yacht is hot,
I yacht a lot.
342
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,254
Sound okay?
343
00:12:36,405 --> 00:12:37,981
Thank you, everyone for coming
344
00:12:38,041 --> 00:12:39,907
to the Yacht-mas Yacht Parade.
345
00:12:40,001 --> 00:12:41,760
Tonight we give members
of the community
346
00:12:41,953 --> 00:12:43,410
a chance to get to know us.
347
00:12:43,472 --> 00:12:46,097
We're more than just tan,
happy faces on a yacht
348
00:12:46,290 --> 00:12:48,357
sailing past you.
349
00:12:48,384 --> 00:12:51,585
We're your bosses and neighbors,
depending on where you live.
350
00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:55,422
And to show our appreciation
for you, our neighbors,
351
00:12:55,484 --> 00:12:57,258
let's have our community
food vendors
352
00:12:57,319 --> 00:12:58,851
come up here on stage.
353
00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:02,188
-Of course.
It's happening now.
-Wha?
354
00:13:02,324 --> 00:13:04,007
Excuse me, sir,
can you follow me?
355
00:13:04,067 --> 00:13:05,933
This is it, Linda.
I can feel it.
356
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:08,027
Oh, you and Jimmy
and your stupid penis fights.
357
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:11,105
I wish you could both just...
(gasps) The mayor! There he is!
358
00:13:11,166 --> 00:13:13,625
Sir, is there a reason
you're not coming with me?
359
00:13:13,776 --> 00:13:15,184
Bob, you're gonna
be so close to the mayor.
360
00:13:15,245 --> 00:13:17,053
Give him this.
Oh, and ask him if he'd
361
00:13:17,055 --> 00:13:19,022
want to start a podcast
with a sassy mom.
362
00:13:19,082 --> 00:13:20,948
Uh, and it's called The Mayor
Show with Mayor and Linda.
363
00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:24,377
All right, Jimmy, let's pants.
364
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,045
GENE:
How does this work, Gus?
365
00:13:26,197 --> 00:13:28,031
Do you just toss us
into the yacht?
366
00:13:28,091 --> 00:13:30,475
Pirates use poles
to attach ropes to the side.
367
00:13:30,626 --> 00:13:32,552
-Where do you keep
your pirate poles, Gus?
-There's a ladder.
368
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:35,129
Uh, never mind, there's
no ladder. Let's go back.
369
00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:37,131
-No, I see it.
That's a ladder.
-Aha!
370
00:13:37,192 --> 00:13:39,542
-Come on.
-O-Okay, I'll wait here
371
00:13:39,602 --> 00:13:42,136
and hold this thing that
you said wasn't a ladder.
372
00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:45,898
Say "Cayman Islands."
373
00:13:46,051 --> 00:13:47,567
-Uh-uh-uh. Stay back, Jimmy.
-Huh?
374
00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:48,901
When's it gonna happen?
375
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:50,570
What?
Don't worry about it.
376
00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:52,813
(loud whisper):
Bob. Bob. Mayor.
377
00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:54,982
-I know.
-Burger.
378
00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:56,576
I'll give it to him, Linda.
379
00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:58,586
Don't yell at me.
And smile.
380
00:14:00,197 --> 00:14:02,156
-BOB: Trev, Trev, Trev.
-(President speaks indistinctly)
381
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,675
I see you.
382
00:14:03,868 --> 00:14:05,343
Oh, wait, he just walked
behind someone tall.
383
00:14:05,536 --> 00:14:08,012
Now I see you again.
384
00:14:11,259 --> 00:14:13,852
Okay, they're already wrapped,
so we're gonna have to shake 'em
385
00:14:14,045 --> 00:14:15,428
to find the good stuff.
386
00:14:15,580 --> 00:14:17,021
And if one sounds like
it's got a dangerous,
387
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,415
tiny car inside,
send it my way.
388
00:14:19,434 --> 00:14:20,917
What if Teddy sees us?
He already said
389
00:14:20,935 --> 00:14:22,193
we can't have presents
before the other kids.
390
00:14:22,386 --> 00:14:25,104
-Teddy's not gonna see us.
-Oh, hey, kids.
391
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:27,365
Teddy, buddy, pal!
What are you doing here?
392
00:14:27,558 --> 00:14:29,092
What?
This isn't our boat.
393
00:14:29,152 --> 00:14:31,077
Teddy, any chance
you didn't see us?
394
00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:34,263
(Bob grumbling)
395
00:14:34,324 --> 00:14:35,948
Don't even think about it, Trev!
396
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:37,767
-Wha?
-What the hell?
397
00:14:37,827 --> 00:14:39,619
Don't you tell Trev
not to think about it.
398
00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:41,120
Think about it, Trev.
399
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,272
I know what you're up to.
400
00:14:43,291 --> 00:14:44,123
Just chill out, huh?
401
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:46,792
Don't touch me!
Aah!
402
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:49,128
(both grunting,
shouting indistinctly)
403
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:50,947
Stop it!
Stop it!
404
00:14:51,007 --> 00:14:53,057
This is a yacht club,
not a golf course.
405
00:14:53,250 --> 00:14:55,167
What's your problem, Bob?
406
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,286
As if you don't know, Jimmy.
407
00:14:57,388 --> 00:14:59,472
Oh, Bob, no!
Wait, the mayor's burger.
408
00:14:59,624 --> 00:15:00,565
Where's the burger?
409
00:15:00,758 --> 00:15:02,233
(grunting, shouting continuing)
410
00:15:02,426 --> 00:15:04,127
LINDA:
Bobby, no!
411
00:15:04,145 --> 00:15:06,487
Oh, God, there's
bungee cords everywhere.
412
00:15:11,102 --> 00:15:13,486
-Bobby!
-Cold. So cold.
-Stupid Bob. Stupid water.
413
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:16,063
You two, get them out!
This is what happens
414
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:18,141
when you open your doors
to the boatless.
415
00:15:18,201 --> 00:15:21,586
I mean, uh,
who's psyched for Santa?
416
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:24,313
Eesh. You kids were gonna
take the gifts?
417
00:15:24,374 --> 00:15:26,090
That's not so nice.
418
00:15:26,283 --> 00:15:28,760
Look, if we could have waited
in that line, we would have.
419
00:15:28,911 --> 00:15:30,820
But we've been busy
doing hard burger labor
420
00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:32,079
with our numb little hands.
421
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:33,990
What are those kids doing?
422
00:15:34,008 --> 00:15:35,416
They're just standing there
waiting to stuff
423
00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:37,160
their big old present pockets,
424
00:15:37,178 --> 00:15:39,437
which I assume they have.
Must be nice!
425
00:15:39,630 --> 00:15:42,256
Uh, okay, if you really think
it's the right thing
426
00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:45,109
for you to get gifts
ahead of the other kids,
427
00:15:45,261 --> 00:15:46,169
I'll give you gifts.
428
00:15:46,229 --> 00:15:47,520
Then it's up to us?
429
00:15:47,672 --> 00:15:49,005
-Uh, I guess.
-Great.
430
00:15:49,107 --> 00:15:51,007
-So we don't want gifts.
-We want the gifts.
431
00:15:51,067 --> 00:15:52,599
And we feel really good
about it.
432
00:15:52,661 --> 00:15:54,177
(groans)
433
00:15:54,195 --> 00:15:56,270
PRESIDENT:
Inside the clubhouse
434
00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:58,289
is supposed to be
for members only,
435
00:15:58,441 --> 00:16:00,866
but we're always happy
to accommodate two
436
00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:03,202
shivering naked people
who fell in the ocean.
437
00:16:03,354 --> 00:16:05,021
Sorry to be naked.
438
00:16:05,123 --> 00:16:07,948
Uh, they made us take off
our wet clothes so, you know,
439
00:16:07,968 --> 00:16:09,025
we wouldn't die.
440
00:16:09,085 --> 00:16:11,118
Well, I hope it was worth it.
441
00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:14,380
Hey, I'm, uh, basically
a member now, right? Damn it.
442
00:16:14,532 --> 00:16:16,699
-Thanks a lot, Bob.
-It's your fault, Jimmy.
443
00:16:16,759 --> 00:16:19,293
-It was your dumb plan.
-What plan?
444
00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:22,205
Your plan to pants me
in front of everybody.
445
00:16:22,223 --> 00:16:24,557
I wasn't gonna pants you, idiot.
446
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:27,151
-But what about what Trev said?
-What? (stammers)
447
00:16:27,303 --> 00:16:30,062
-Trev was supposed to shout
something from the audience.
-Shout what?
448
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,882
Well, something about me
and how I helped with all this.
449
00:16:32,942 --> 00:16:36,052
He was gonna get the whole crowd
to chant "Jimmy, Jimmy"
450
00:16:36,112 --> 00:16:37,720
so the guy would hear
and, uh, you know,
451
00:16:37,780 --> 00:16:39,405
I'd get in this damn club.
452
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,149
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I-I don't get it.
453
00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:44,318
You recommended me for this.
Why?
454
00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:46,729
You-you had to be
setting me up for something.
455
00:16:46,748 --> 00:16:48,748
(mutters quietly):
I thought the yacht guys
would like your food.
456
00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:50,082
What?
I couldn't hear you.
457
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:52,343
I said...
(mumbles indistinctly)
458
00:16:52,495 --> 00:16:53,845
No, now you just mumbled.
459
00:16:54,038 --> 00:16:55,513
You're covering your face
with your blanket.
460
00:16:55,664 --> 00:16:57,256
I thought they would like
your food,
461
00:16:57,408 --> 00:16:59,166
and then they would like me
because I recommended you
462
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,667
and that's how
I'd get into the thing.
463
00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:02,912
You thought they would
like my food?
464
00:17:02,930 --> 00:17:05,264
Oh, it sounds gross
when you say it.
465
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:06,599
We need you to leave.
466
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,084
Here are some blazers we keep
467
00:17:08,186 --> 00:17:09,919
in case people forget
to wear blazers.
468
00:17:10,021 --> 00:17:13,514
And pants in case people forget
to wear pants. Thank you.
469
00:17:13,575 --> 00:17:15,516
Mission accomplished, huh, guys?
470
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,684
-Nice work.
-Wow, look at the present line.
471
00:17:17,746 --> 00:17:19,537
GENE:
It got really long.
472
00:17:19,688 --> 00:17:21,372
You know, some kids
like just waiting in line.
473
00:17:21,565 --> 00:17:23,449
They make friends,
share stories.
474
00:17:23,601 --> 00:17:25,117
It's the journey, you know.
475
00:17:25,270 --> 00:17:27,694
And we're moving closer,
and I'm getting a good look
476
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:30,273
at these kids now,
seeing some excited faces,
477
00:17:30,333 --> 00:17:32,199
some Christmas joy.
478
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:33,551
Feeling some guilt,
some regrets.
479
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,778
Gonna close my eyes.
Don't like it.
480
00:17:35,838 --> 00:17:37,947
Me, too. Oh, God,
I still see their faces!
481
00:17:37,965 --> 00:17:38,964
Wait, I didn't close my eyes.
482
00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:41,133
(sighs):
They deserve these gifts
483
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:42,952
more than we do, don't they?
484
00:17:43,054 --> 00:17:44,637
Kind off what I've been
saying for a while.
485
00:17:44,789 --> 00:17:46,289
Well, you didn't say it
good enough, did you?
486
00:17:46,307 --> 00:17:49,125
-Uh-huh. Sure, sure.
-Ugh, let's give back the gifts.
487
00:17:49,143 --> 00:17:51,294
Or you can give 'em
to your old friend Gus
488
00:17:51,354 --> 00:17:53,979
and see what he can
get for them on eBay.
489
00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:57,075
Ho, ho, ho!
Happy holidays, son.
490
00:17:57,226 --> 00:17:59,318
Sorry I said son.
That sounds weird.
491
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:01,137
Uncle Father Santa Teddy?
492
00:18:01,155 --> 00:18:02,805
Hey, kids.
I'm a little busy.
493
00:18:02,865 --> 00:18:05,566
We're giving our gifts back
for you to give to them.
494
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:06,976
Oh, you sure?
495
00:18:07,036 --> 00:18:09,145
-Yeah, we're sure.
-Okay, good for you.
496
00:18:09,163 --> 00:18:10,813
Hey, can you do me a favor?
497
00:18:10,873 --> 00:18:13,983
Great, more selfless acts.
How can we be of service?
498
00:18:14,001 --> 00:18:16,910
Could you grab my backup beard?
It's in my bag in the yacht.
499
00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:18,763
Did you forgot to take off
your beard when you barfed?
500
00:18:18,956 --> 00:18:22,100
-Can you tell?
-No, it smells great.
501
00:18:22,251 --> 00:18:25,494
Well, we went from holding
three sweet gifts in our hands
502
00:18:25,513 --> 00:18:27,496
to looking for
a less-barfy beard.
503
00:18:27,557 --> 00:18:28,922
I think this is Teddy's bag.
504
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:30,349
Wait, there's a note for us.
505
00:18:30,501 --> 00:18:31,758
"I knew you kids
would do the right thing.
506
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,519
"Here's an RC car
that goes too fast.
507
00:18:33,671 --> 00:18:34,837
We can't give it out.
508
00:18:34,856 --> 00:18:36,597
"The battery
gets very, very hot,
509
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:39,342
"like about to catch on fire,
so, you know, look out for that.
510
00:18:39,402 --> 00:18:42,194
Merry Christmas,
Uncle Father Santa Teddy."
511
00:18:42,347 --> 00:18:44,789
That thoughtful son of a gun.
I get it first.
512
00:18:44,982 --> 00:18:47,774
You did it, Teddy.
You're a good Santa.
513
00:18:47,836 --> 00:18:50,110
-A real good Santa.
-Santa, hurry up.
514
00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:51,370
-(kids shouting indistinctly)
-Ow, ow!
515
00:18:51,522 --> 00:18:52,922
Can-can I get some help, please?
Elves!
516
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:57,376
This thing is amazing!
Pick up your feet!
517
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:58,952
Okay, be careful.
Rich people's toes
518
00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,787
are worth two of our toes.
519
00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:02,789
How you feeling, Bob,
you pruney loony?
520
00:19:02,851 --> 00:19:04,717
I'm okay.
The yacht club clothes are nice.
521
00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:06,719
They fit better than
my regular clothes.
522
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:08,554
Yeah.
Who knew clothes could fit?
523
00:19:08,690 --> 00:19:11,798
Hey, um, sorry I didn't
listen to you about Jimmy.
524
00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:13,726
It's okay.
As long as you admit
525
00:19:13,862 --> 00:19:15,319
we got this gig
because we deserve it.
526
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:17,304
-Hmm, maybe.
-And 'cause we work hard.
527
00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:18,990
And 'cause you got a hot butt.
528
00:19:19,141 --> 00:19:20,716
I can see it now that
your pants fit. Whoa!
529
00:19:20,776 --> 00:19:21,901
Move over, J.Lo.
530
00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:23,552
I can't believe
Jimmy was actually
531
00:19:23,613 --> 00:19:24,887
doing something nice for me.
532
00:19:24,947 --> 00:19:27,072
I-I kind of feel bad for him.
533
00:19:27,225 --> 00:19:29,149
Uh, yeah, my yacht's over there.
Did you see it?
534
00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:30,910
Oh, sorry, y-you were talking.
535
00:19:31,062 --> 00:19:34,821
-Yeah, poor, dumb Jimmy.
-(sighs) I'll be right back.
536
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:37,991
-Um, excuse me.
-Hmm. You continue to be here.
537
00:19:38,052 --> 00:19:40,327
Yeah.
Uh, sorry about everything.
538
00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:42,254
I-I just wanted to say
I think you should
539
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:43,923
still let Jimmy
join the club.
540
00:19:44,075 --> 00:19:46,333
(chuckling): Oh, I don't think
that will be happening.
541
00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:48,019
But tonight
wasn't a total disaster.
542
00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:49,854
People raved about
your burgers.
543
00:19:50,047 --> 00:19:53,524
Really? Uh, well,
then I-I guess I should tell you
544
00:19:53,717 --> 00:19:56,343
all the credit
belongs to Jimmy?
545
00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:57,862
-Was that a question?
-No.
546
00:19:58,055 --> 00:20:00,756
-Jimmy taught me so much.
-Him?
547
00:20:00,858 --> 00:20:03,850
I-It's true.
He's my, uh, ugh,
548
00:20:03,912 --> 00:20:05,761
mentor of food.
549
00:20:05,821 --> 00:20:09,114
And he's such a great guy.
550
00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:11,358
Goodbye.
551
00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:14,045
-Well, I did what I could.
-What'd you say?
552
00:20:14,238 --> 00:20:16,622
I-I really don't want
to talk about it. I feel dirty.
553
00:20:16,758 --> 00:20:18,049
I might jump in the water again.
554
00:20:18,218 --> 00:20:20,793
Mm, excuse me.
Bob and Linda Belcher?
555
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,294
Uh, yeah, that's us.
556
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:24,538
-I work for the mayor.
-(gasps)
557
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,782
He sent me to compliment you
on the delicious burger
558
00:20:26,842 --> 00:20:28,375
he tried earlier this evening.
559
00:20:28,394 --> 00:20:29,894
Wait, how'd he get a burger?
560
00:20:30,045 --> 00:20:32,121
Uh, yeah, we made one for him
but I dropped it.
561
00:20:32,139 --> 00:20:33,622
Yes, it landed on the ground,
562
00:20:33,641 --> 00:20:35,624
and the mayor followed
the three-second rule.
563
00:20:35,726 --> 00:20:37,293
He had worked up
quite an appetite
564
00:20:37,353 --> 00:20:39,070
from greeting people
and watching yachts.
565
00:20:39,263 --> 00:20:41,072
Oh, my God!
Kids, come here.
566
00:20:41,265 --> 00:20:42,815
This man says the mayor
tried our burger
567
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:44,149
and he loved it.
He loved it.
568
00:20:44,302 --> 00:20:46,077
Yeah, he ate it off the ground.
569
00:20:46,228 --> 00:20:49,154
-Eh, our dad's food's better
off the ground.
-Floors work, too.
570
00:20:49,307 --> 00:20:51,398
Ah, what a Christmas.
Bob, make some fries.
571
00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:54,585
-I'm gonna dump 'em on the dock
and see if he comes back.
-Uh, yep.
572
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,754
Ho, ho, ho!
Who wants erasers?
573
00:20:56,905 --> 00:20:59,257
Hey, you got the car out.
Ow, my toe!
574
00:20:59,450 --> 00:21:02,743
♪ How did I do
as Santa Claus? ♪
575
00:21:02,804 --> 00:21:06,822
♪ Sorry, guys,
but Santa's insecure ♪
576
00:21:06,924 --> 00:21:08,766
♪ Did you find my beard
convincing? ♪
577
00:21:08,917 --> 00:21:10,601
♪ Did my reindeer
need a rinsing? ♪
578
00:21:10,794 --> 00:21:13,437
♪ Were you buying this at all?
I wasn't sure ♪
579
00:21:14,724 --> 00:21:18,943
♪ How did I do as Santa? ♪
580
00:21:19,136 --> 00:21:20,811
♪ Rate me on a scale
of one to ten ♪
581
00:21:21,005 --> 00:21:22,338
Uh, pass.
582
00:21:22,398 --> 00:21:23,948
Well, your stomach
shook like jelly.
583
00:21:24,141 --> 00:21:26,617
-Okay.
-But your beard
was kind of smelly.
584
00:21:26,769 --> 00:21:30,121
-Oh.
-♪ We'd recommend this Santa
to our friends. ♪
585
00:21:30,272 --> 00:21:32,331
LINDA:
Yeah! Now, that's Christmas.