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00:00:02,672 --> 00:00:04,676
♪ ♪
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LINDA:
Come on! We're dying out here!
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I spent all week
on that costume.
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- We want to see you in it.
- LOUISE: Hold on, woman!
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Three kids getting
in a group costume here.
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There's a lot
of Tina's boobs in my face.
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GENE: And Gene's.
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So, Teddy,
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you gonna go home
and hand out candy?
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Uh, no,
I'm gonna go donate blood,
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the candy of the veins.
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Ugh. I mean, good for you.
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You're gonna donate blood?
At night? On Halloween?
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Yeah, it's fun.
They turn the bloodmobile
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into a vampire mobile.
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Hey, you guys should come.
It's right down the street.
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I want to give my blood
to a vampire car.
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Bob, What do you say?
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- You want to come donate blood
with me and Linda?
- Mm, no.
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Bob's a little squeamish
around blood,
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but I'm in
'cause I'm a good person.
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Great. You know what
blood type you are?
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I'm AB. It's half an ABBA.
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I'm A positive. I remember
'cause it was my first A plus.
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And Bob is O negative.
I remember that 'cause I said,
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"Oh, don't be negative
just 'cause
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I got a better grade
on my blood test, you."
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- (laughs)
- Wait. Bob, you're O negative?
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- That's amazing.
- Why?
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Isn't O negative stupid blood?
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No, O negative is
the universal donor blood.
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They can put your blood
in anyone.
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- Your blood is hero blood.
- Oh, God, is it?
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You got to come donate blood
with us, Bobby.
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No, I don't, Teddy.
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And I know that might make me
a horrible person,
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but, oh‐oh... oh, well.
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Wow. Hero blood just
sloshing around inside of you.
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- (guttural groaning)
- But you won't let someone
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stick a needle in there
and fill up a blood bag?
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- Oh. Oh.
- Teddy, no.
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- He's gonna faint. Stop.
- LOUISE: Okay, We're ready.
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Ta‐da. Snailed it.
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What? Oh. Ha!
'Cause you're a snail.
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You guys can breathe
in there, right?
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I don't want to be the mom
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who suffocated her kids
in a giant snail.
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We can breathe just fine.
See, I'm breathing
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through the candy‐hatch here.
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I thought we were calling that
the fart vent.
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It's both. And it also happens
to be wide enough
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for an entire bowl of candy
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from a certain
candy‐stiffer's house.
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I‐I mean,
a single piece of candy,
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which is all we plan on taking.
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Wait a minute.
Does this have anything to do
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with that one house that ran out
of candy a few years ago
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that you can't let go
of for some reason?
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First of all,
it was two years ago,
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and then they stiffed me again
last year,
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but I can't believe
you remember that.
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I barely remember that.
(laughing)
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- (doorbell rings)
- ALL: Trick‐or‐treat.
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Here you go.
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Full‐sized Professor Caramels?
Mama likey.
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- GENE: Mmm.
- Uh‐oh.
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That was our last one.
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‐Sorry.
‐Wait. Seriously?
You're out of candy?
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Come back next year,
and we'll, uh...
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we'll give you
twice as much candy, okay?
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Yes, of course.
These things happen.
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I will see you in 365 days.
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Trick‐or‐treat!
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GENE AND TINA:
Trick‐or‐treat.
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One for you, one for you,
and one for you.
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Um, aren't you forgetting
something?
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Happy... Halloween?
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Guys, it's me, from last year.
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From when you ran out of candy,
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and you promised
to make it up this year?
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Mm, no, I don't remember that.
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(laughs) You're messing with me.
Good one.
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Okay, now go ahead and plop
another candy into my bag.
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- Excuse me?
- You guys owe me double candy.
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So, double me up. On the double.
Let's go, double time.
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Okay, I think you should go now.
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Not without my candy!
Let me at that bowl!
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You know what?
Now we're gonna take this back.
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No!
That's‐that's my property!
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This isn't over.
This... isn't... over!
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- (all gasp)
- TINA: Oh, no! Attack leopards!
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- (all whimpering)
- (leopards growling)
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- (panting)
- Aah! Get away! Get off me!
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There were attack leopards?
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I don't remember
the attack leopards.
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- Shh, shh, shh, shush. You
probably just blocked it out.
- (phone ringing)
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Bob's Burgers.
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A‐a to‐go order? Uh, uh, wait.
Let me get a pen.
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- Where's a pen?
- Uh, pen, pen, pen.
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Want me to make one real quick?
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I got a bucket of paint
in the truck.
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Can we have
a quick snail conference?
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Louise, when I signed on
for this costume,
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I was hoping to do
some major sibling bonding.
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- And we will.
- I guess I just thought,
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once we got
inside the snail suit,
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you'd hopefully change your mind
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and maybe not want to steal
an entire bowl of candy?
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Yeah, I don't want
bad candy karma.
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Bup‐bup‐bup‐bup‐bup,
not stealing.
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It's candy justice.
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Hey, when someone stiffs
one of us,
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they stiff all of us,
right, guys?
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- I... guess?
- The Three Stiff‐ka‐teers.
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Don't worry
your snail head about this.
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We're gonna walk up
to their house.
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They open the door.
They won't see our faces.
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Tina, you'll do all the talking.
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Distract them by commenting
on their decor.
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Maybe something like
the line we talked about.
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(sighs) "Check out that wall.
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"Where'd you get it? Walmart?"
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Exactly. Anyway,
they'll start blabbering,
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I'll open the hatch
and grab their candy bowl.
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- Justice served.
- Uh...
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So I guess
we're gonna deliver a burger.
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- We do that?
- It's for someone staying
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at the hotel
at the end of the block.
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It's so close,
I just said "yes."
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Also, making money
is... is good.
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- Right?
- Attaboy, Bob.
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- Uh, we can deliver it
for you, Dad.
- Really?
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Yeah. And it's not
at all because
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I'm putting off something
that I really don't want to do.
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No, no, no, no, no.
Sorry, Dad.
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We're busy. Nice try.
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- They might give us a tip.
- Okay, we'll do it.
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I mean, who can resist
tipping three adorable kids
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- with tip‐me face.
- And tip‐me butt.
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♪ Put the money
in my bum‐bum. ♪
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Gene.
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Hello?
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- Is anyone here?
- TINA: I guess we should wait
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in the lobby for a hotel person
to take the burger?
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Or we take it up
ourselves to... room 313.
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'Cause we got to hustle.
Candy justice awaits.
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Candy Justice sounds
like a show about a stripper
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who's also a judge.
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(elevator bell dings)
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(lights buzzing)
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TINA:
This isn't creepy at all.
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Really? 'Cause I have both
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the heebies and the jeebies.
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(lights buzzing)
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WOMAN (chanting):
Regnum intrare spiritum.
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Regnum intrare spiritum.
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I go bye‐bye now.
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Hey, everyone gets excited
about burgers
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in their own way.
Also, tip money.
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Burger delivery.
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WOMAN:
Enter.
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Regnum intrare spiritum.
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Oh, good. The bait's here.
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Uh, bait? Bait for what?
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- Come. Come in.
- Are we the bait?
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I'm not baiting around
to find out.
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(all screaming)
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- (Tina panting)
- What the hell that was that?
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An elderly hippie demon lady?
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Okay, let's just
put that behind us.
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It was unfortunate,
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but you know what makes
everything better?
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- Dry underwear?
- Candy. Let's go. Um, Gene,
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where's the snail‐shell
part of the costume?
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Uh‐oh. I may have dropped it
in creepy lady's room
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because I was scared
and so were my hands?
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Damn it, Gene.
We need that.
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That's what covers our faces.
Ugh. We got to go back.
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Wait. What?
Go back into there?
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Or we leave the shell part
up there,
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we don't do your plan, and now
our costume is a confident snail
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that's coming out of its shell?
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No, we're gonna get the shell,
then everything's gonna be fine.
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For some of us.
Ha‐ha‐ha. Kidding.
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For all of us.
Tina, you go first.
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- (door closes)
- Hello.
- ALL: Aah!
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- Where'd you come from?
- From right down here.
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I was bending over.
So, are you trick‐or‐treating?
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We don't get a ton
of trick‐or‐treaters,
190
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but we got a bunch of
sewing kits or shower caps.
191
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- You look like shower‐cap kids.
- Thank you.
192
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We were just here delivering
a burger
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to a creepy old lady
in room 313,
194
00:06:51,723 --> 00:06:54,127
but one of us dropped part
of our costume in there.
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Ah, Dolores. (chuckles)
196
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I guess conjuring up the spirit
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of your dead lover
can make you hungry.
198
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Wait. Did you say
"Conjuring the spirit"?
199
00:07:01,141 --> 00:07:02,912
"Of her dead lover"?
200
00:07:02,978 --> 00:07:05,483
Yup. Dolores checks
into room 313
201
00:07:05,551 --> 00:07:07,153
every Halloween
to conjure him up.
202
00:07:07,220 --> 00:07:08,557
Brings in a lot of lookie‐loos.
203
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Good for business.
204
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Well, you should see us
the rest of the year.
205
00:07:12,063 --> 00:07:14,000
- Hi, kids.
- Oh, hi, Gus.
206
00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:16,305
- They were just asking
about Dolores.
- Yup.
207
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Dolores's lover died
on Halloween night
208
00:07:19,244 --> 00:07:23,987
in room 313, 50 years ago,
so she comes up here every year
209
00:07:24,054 --> 00:07:25,958
to conjure up Roger's spirit.
210
00:07:26,024 --> 00:07:27,862
- Aw.
- A Roger conjure.
211
00:07:27,928 --> 00:07:29,474
And a bunch of us hang out
in the lobby,
212
00:07:29,498 --> 00:07:32,170
take in the vibe,
have a few drinks,
213
00:07:32,237 --> 00:07:33,940
and hope the ghost shows up.
214
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It's a haunted hoot.
And, you know, Dolores would be
215
00:07:36,913 --> 00:07:39,217
an age‐appropriate match
for Old Gus.
216
00:07:39,284 --> 00:07:40,821
Sorry, Gus.
We're on the clock.
217
00:07:40,888 --> 00:07:42,023
So, can we mm...?
218
00:07:42,090 --> 00:07:44,394
Uh...
219
00:07:44,461 --> 00:07:47,902
Totally normal lady,
it's us again.
220
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,306
May I just grab that
snail shell? Don't hurt me.
221
00:07:50,373 --> 00:07:51,810
Good luck
on conjuring the spirit
222
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- of your dead lover.
- Thank you.
223
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Does it work, by the way?
I'm just curious.
224
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It hasn't worked yet,
but hopefully,
225
00:07:57,387 --> 00:08:00,026
by adding his favorite food
as bait‐‐
226
00:08:00,092 --> 00:08:03,032
this cheeseburger‐‐
I can finally lure him here.
227
00:08:03,098 --> 00:08:04,468
Well, we're rooting for you two.
228
00:08:04,535 --> 00:08:05,971
And when he shows up,
229
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I'll banish him to hell
for all eternity.
230
00:08:08,008 --> 00:08:09,444
- Huh?
- What?
- Whoa.
231
00:08:09,512 --> 00:08:11,649
Oh, crap.
I hope Roger didn't hear that.
232
00:08:11,716 --> 00:08:14,354
Well, that sounds fun, but we
got to snail‐trail out of here.
233
00:08:14,421 --> 00:08:15,991
Or maybe we can stay
a little bit.
234
00:08:16,058 --> 00:08:17,661
I just want
to catch some dark arts,
235
00:08:17,728 --> 00:08:19,073
- hear the damnation download.
- Ugh.
236
00:08:19,097 --> 00:08:20,834
Okay, a minute.
237
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It's so great
you're coming with us, Bob.
238
00:08:22,470 --> 00:08:24,407
I'm walking with you.
239
00:08:24,474 --> 00:08:26,546
I'm gonna look at the van
because Teddy said
240
00:08:26,613 --> 00:08:28,024
he wouldn't leave
unless I look at the van.
241
00:08:28,048 --> 00:08:29,752
Trust me, once you see
what they did to it,
242
00:08:29,819 --> 00:08:31,823
you'll change your mind
about donating blood.
243
00:08:31,890 --> 00:08:34,027
- TEDDY: Huh?
- LINDA: Fun.
244
00:08:34,094 --> 00:08:36,900
(as Dracula):
Welcome to Transyl‐vein‐ya.
245
00:08:36,966 --> 00:08:38,402
- Get it?
- (as Dracula): Soon,
246
00:08:38,469 --> 00:08:41,074
we will drain you
of one pint of your human blood.
247
00:08:41,141 --> 00:08:44,047
Then you can relax here
and enjoy cookies and juice.
248
00:08:44,114 --> 00:08:45,717
(sighs)
Oh, boy.
249
00:08:45,784 --> 00:08:47,096
Uh, okay, I saw it.
Now I'm leaving.
250
00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:49,024
(coughs)
O negative.
251
00:08:49,090 --> 00:08:51,428
- What?
- (coughs) O negative. Mm‐hmm.
252
00:08:51,495 --> 00:08:52,965
O neg? Really? Uh...
253
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:54,602
(as Dracula):
Well, well, well.
254
00:08:54,669 --> 00:08:56,080
(as Dracula):
It's not every day we get
255
00:08:56,104 --> 00:08:58,543
to suck a universal
blood donor's blood.
256
00:08:58,610 --> 00:09:00,614
Wait, I‐I'm not donating blood.
257
00:09:00,681 --> 00:09:03,128
(normal voice):
Huh, seriously? You're O neg,
but you're not gonna donate?
258
00:09:03,152 --> 00:09:05,991
Sorry, guys, I just have a thing
about blood and needles.
259
00:09:06,058 --> 00:09:08,897
You'll be fine. We work with
needle weenies all the time.
260
00:09:08,964 --> 00:09:11,234
Uh, I‐I don't love that term.
261
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:14,007
Hey, just think of how happy
you could make someone.
262
00:09:14,074 --> 00:09:16,087
(in childish voice):
Hey, mister, you saved my life,
263
00:09:16,111 --> 00:09:19,017
and now I'm gonna go out
and save the rain forest.
264
00:09:19,084 --> 00:09:21,054
You're doing a lot of voices.
265
00:09:21,121 --> 00:09:23,459
Oh, no. I'm slipping away.
266
00:09:23,526 --> 00:09:26,131
Beep. Beep. Beep...
267
00:09:26,198 --> 00:09:28,135
- He's dying.
- Somebody do something!
268
00:09:28,202 --> 00:09:30,641
Fine. I'll donate
my really great blood.
269
00:09:30,707 --> 00:09:32,110
- Yay.
- You just saved the boy
270
00:09:32,176 --> 00:09:33,880
who's gonna save
the rain forest.
271
00:09:33,947 --> 00:09:35,149
What's the "rain forest"?
272
00:09:35,216 --> 00:09:36,986
LOUISE:
So what did Roger do
273
00:09:37,053 --> 00:09:38,890
to deserve eternal damnation?
274
00:09:38,957 --> 00:09:40,727
Did he eat
the last slice of pizza?
275
00:09:40,794 --> 00:09:42,296
Oh, it was a long time ago.
276
00:09:42,363 --> 00:09:43,900
We were young, we were dating.
277
00:09:43,967 --> 00:09:45,336
I hate him.
278
00:09:45,403 --> 00:09:47,306
We were edgy back then.
279
00:09:47,373 --> 00:09:50,179
We were even gonna try this
new thing called "Thai food,"
280
00:09:50,246 --> 00:09:53,185
but we had to leave 'cause
Roger came down with a cold.
281
00:09:53,252 --> 00:09:56,592
Even coughing and sneezing,
he was a handsome bastard.
282
00:09:56,659 --> 00:09:59,097
- Hot. I think?
- But our last date was
283
00:09:59,164 --> 00:10:02,136
at the Halloween party
in this hotel,
284
00:10:02,203 --> 00:10:03,506
50 years ago.
285
00:10:03,573 --> 00:10:06,178
Roger looked amazing
as Spartacus.
286
00:10:06,244 --> 00:10:08,058
It seemed like
we were in our own little world.
287
00:10:08,082 --> 00:10:11,689
He was tossing nuts into the air
and catching them in his mouth
288
00:10:11,756 --> 00:10:13,201
- to impress me.
- GENE: I'm impressed.
289
00:10:13,225 --> 00:10:16,733
I was, too.
How do people do that?
290
00:10:16,799 --> 00:10:20,540
Roger went to get us drinks,
and he never came back.
291
00:10:20,607 --> 00:10:23,713
- What?
- I asked around,
if anyone's seen Spartacus.
292
00:10:23,780 --> 00:10:25,984
People kept saying,
"I am Spartacus,"
293
00:10:26,051 --> 00:10:27,320
but I hadn't seen the movie,
294
00:10:27,386 --> 00:10:28,733
so I didn't know
what they were referring to.
295
00:10:28,757 --> 00:10:30,994
Finally, someone told me that
296
00:10:31,061 --> 00:10:34,200
they saw him at the elevator
with I Dream of Jeannie.
297
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:35,369
I couldn't believe it.
298
00:10:35,436 --> 00:10:37,006
I was devastated.
299
00:10:37,073 --> 00:10:41,214
The next day, I read
in the paper that he'd died
300
00:10:41,281 --> 00:10:42,951
in this very room.
301
00:10:43,018 --> 00:10:44,120
He was murdered?
302
00:10:44,187 --> 00:10:45,624
No, it was cardiac arrest.
303
00:10:45,690 --> 00:10:47,628
There was no sign of foul play,
304
00:10:47,694 --> 00:10:50,032
but I bet there was
some foreplay, the creep.
305
00:10:50,099 --> 00:10:53,071
They canoodled, she left,
and then he died.
306
00:10:53,138 --> 00:10:54,207
Typical man.
307
00:10:54,274 --> 00:10:56,311
And so, every year since,
308
00:10:56,378 --> 00:10:59,885
I've come here
to conjure that no‐good,
309
00:10:59,952 --> 00:11:01,254
cheating S. O. B.'s spirit
310
00:11:01,321 --> 00:11:03,392
and send it to hell!
311
00:11:03,458 --> 00:11:06,498
I mean, wasn't him dying
kind of enough of a punishment?
312
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:08,035
Hell just seems
like kind of a lot.
313
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:09,237
And so sweaty.
314
00:11:09,304 --> 00:11:11,341
Tina, let her have it.
I get it.
315
00:11:11,408 --> 00:11:13,054
I got my own little vendetta
going on tonight.
316
00:11:13,078 --> 00:11:14,447
Can't you both just move on?
317
00:11:14,515 --> 00:11:17,053
Halloween's about forgiveness...
I think.
318
00:11:17,119 --> 00:11:19,758
Forgiveness and Frankenstein‐‐
the two Fs.
319
00:11:19,825 --> 00:11:21,361
Yeah, so maybe forgive this guy
320
00:11:21,428 --> 00:11:23,398
who wrote you what looks
like 10,000 love letters.
321
00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:25,369
- (scoffs)
- "Dear Glorious Dolores,
322
00:11:25,436 --> 00:11:28,075
"I was thinking of you today,
and it made me think of you‐‐
323
00:11:28,141 --> 00:11:31,047
"your smell, your neck parts,
the way your eyes light up
324
00:11:31,114 --> 00:11:32,784
when I smell your neck parts."
325
00:11:32,851 --> 00:11:34,865
Dolores, this doesn't sound
like a cheater wrote it.
326
00:11:34,889 --> 00:11:36,124
A cheater did write it.
327
00:11:36,191 --> 00:11:38,161
But what if what you think
happened didn't happen?
328
00:11:38,228 --> 00:11:39,999
What if there's
another explanation?
329
00:11:40,065 --> 00:11:42,103
Okay, Miss I Just Walked
in Here with a Burger
330
00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:43,806
and Now I Know Everything."
331
00:11:43,873 --> 00:11:46,077
Yeah, knock it off,
Stally Parton.
332
00:11:46,144 --> 00:11:48,148
We've got to go see
a Ven about a Detta.
333
00:11:48,215 --> 00:11:49,752
(groans)
I don't want to vendetta.
334
00:11:49,818 --> 00:11:51,565
And I don't think Dolores
should vendetta, either.
335
00:11:51,589 --> 00:11:53,860
- I mean, isn't it possible
Roger is innocent?
- No.
336
00:11:53,927 --> 00:11:55,296
- But maybe?
- No!
337
00:11:55,362 --> 00:11:57,075
But what if there was a way to
figure out that he didn't cheat?
338
00:11:57,099 --> 00:11:58,670
There's not, so drop it.
339
00:11:58,736 --> 00:12:01,709
Yeah, Tina, drop it so we can go
pick‐up some stinkin' candy!
340
00:12:01,776 --> 00:12:02,945
Wait, how about this?
341
00:12:03,011 --> 00:12:04,648
Give me a chance‐‐
it's still early.
342
00:12:04,715 --> 00:12:06,327
If I can't figure it out,
I'll go do your plan.
343
00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:08,088
Sounds good. I like that.
344
00:12:08,155 --> 00:12:10,268
But if I can, then we go
trick‐or‐treating like normal.
345
00:12:10,292 --> 00:12:11,629
No vendettas, just candy.
346
00:12:11,696 --> 00:12:13,065
Ooh, I like that.
347
00:12:13,131 --> 00:12:14,067
So what do you say?
348
00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:16,071
I say you're on,
you poor romantic idiot.
349
00:12:16,137 --> 00:12:17,073
Oh, my!
350
00:12:17,139 --> 00:12:19,177
This one's not rated PG‐13.
351
00:12:19,243 --> 00:12:20,547
- Give me that.
- (chuckles): Oh.
352
00:12:25,155 --> 00:12:26,367
WOMAN (gasps):
I just got cold, right?
353
00:12:26,391 --> 00:12:27,670
Is it cold in here?
Ghost‐y cold?
354
00:12:27,694 --> 00:12:29,030
Could be ghost‐y cold.
355
00:12:29,097 --> 00:12:30,499
Ah, this is gonna be the year.
356
00:12:30,567 --> 00:12:32,136
I bought this camera online.
357
00:12:32,203 --> 00:12:33,673
It can take pictures
of apparitions.
358
00:12:33,740 --> 00:12:34,675
And Jupiter.
359
00:12:34,742 --> 00:12:35,742
Jupiter's my cat.
360
00:12:35,777 --> 00:12:37,113
Okay.
So, it's not great
361
00:12:37,179 --> 00:12:39,450
that Dolores kicked us out
of her room to keep conjuring.
362
00:12:39,518 --> 00:12:41,565
But at least she let us keep
some letters and photos.
363
00:12:41,589 --> 00:12:43,626
- Hot leads here, I betcha.
- Come on, Tina.
364
00:12:43,693 --> 00:12:45,964
Give up, and let's go get
that bowl of candy
365
00:12:46,031 --> 00:12:47,333
while there's still candy in it.
366
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,638
No. I'm gonna prove
Roger's not a cheater,
367
00:12:49,705 --> 00:12:50,783
and then we're gonna
trick‐or‐treat
368
00:12:50,807 --> 00:12:52,209
without committing
any candy crimes.
369
00:12:52,276 --> 00:12:54,147
Okay.
So, here's a group photo.
370
00:12:54,213 --> 00:12:55,817
Halloween night, 50 years ago.
371
00:12:55,884 --> 00:12:57,921
And there's I Dream of Jeannie,
the temptress.
372
00:12:57,988 --> 00:12:59,157
But who was she?
373
00:12:59,223 --> 00:13:00,159
GENE She's tall,
374
00:13:00,225 --> 00:13:01,762
likes big, boxy belt buckles,
375
00:13:01,829 --> 00:13:03,298
- BBBBs.
- Yeah, what's up
376
00:13:03,365 --> 00:13:04,601
with that boxy belt buckle?
377
00:13:04,668 --> 00:13:06,004
It's not very genie‐ish.
378
00:13:06,071 --> 00:13:08,008
Kinda just looks
like the belt buckle of someone
379
00:13:08,075 --> 00:13:10,179
- who steals someone's boyfriend.
- (door opens)
380
00:13:10,245 --> 00:13:12,092
Did I miss anything?
Any sightings? Any cold spots?
381
00:13:12,116 --> 00:13:13,886
I felt a cold spot.
Didn't I just say that?
382
00:13:13,953 --> 00:13:15,122
I think I just said that.
383
00:13:15,189 --> 00:13:16,709
I think you might just be
underdressed?
384
00:13:16,759 --> 00:13:19,363
You guys seem a little young
to be conjuring enthusiasts.
385
00:13:19,430 --> 00:13:21,134
Oh, no, some of us
are trying to prove
386
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:23,171
that Dolores's theory
about Roger is wrong.
387
00:13:23,238 --> 00:13:25,142
Wait a minute,
you think Roger wasn't
388
00:13:25,209 --> 00:13:26,512
a cheating cheat‐face cheater?
389
00:13:26,579 --> 00:13:27,814
I know.
It's ridiculous.
390
00:13:27,881 --> 00:13:29,426
It's not ridiculous,
and I'm gonna prove it,
391
00:13:29,450 --> 00:13:31,154
if I can just concentrate
for a second.
392
00:13:31,221 --> 00:13:34,360
Uh, but, uh, can that wait
until after she conjures Roger?
393
00:13:34,427 --> 00:13:35,763
I kinda told everyone at work
394
00:13:35,830 --> 00:13:38,168
that I was gonna take a picture
of a ghost.
395
00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:39,738
- (whimpering)
- Okay. We're all set.
396
00:13:39,805 --> 00:13:41,107
Now it's time for‐‐ Hey!
397
00:13:41,174 --> 00:13:42,944
That's an amazing
Big Bird costume.
398
00:13:43,011 --> 00:13:43,946
(squeals)
399
00:13:44,013 --> 00:13:44,948
- You felt that?
- Yes!
400
00:13:45,015 --> 00:13:45,950
But I distracted you.
401
00:13:46,017 --> 00:13:47,186
My arm still feels it
402
00:13:47,253 --> 00:13:48,188
when you shove a needle in it!
403
00:13:48,255 --> 00:13:49,190
(sighs):
Oh, boy.
404
00:13:49,257 --> 00:13:50,593
- Uh, what?
- (groans)
405
00:13:50,660 --> 00:13:52,129
Looks like I didn't find a vein.
406
00:13:52,196 --> 00:13:54,009
- I'm gonna have to try it again.
- (weakly): What?
407
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:56,070
Hey, uh, look at that,
uh, Star Wars costume.
408
00:13:56,137 --> 00:13:57,439
- Space, am I right?
- (squeals)
409
00:13:57,507 --> 00:13:59,578
- Did you get it?
- No, nope, nope. Not in.
410
00:13:59,645 --> 00:14:01,314
Your veins roll away
from the needle.
411
00:14:01,381 --> 00:14:02,817
(woozy gurgling)
412
00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:04,764
It's like your veins
are playing hard to get, Bob.
413
00:14:04,788 --> 00:14:05,890
Not like mine.
414
00:14:05,957 --> 00:14:07,894
The needle slid
right into my beefy vein.
415
00:14:07,961 --> 00:14:09,598
‐(gurgling) ‐(groans)
416
00:14:09,665 --> 00:14:10,900
Let's try the other arm.
417
00:14:10,967 --> 00:14:12,604
Okay, really make a fist
this time.
418
00:14:12,671 --> 00:14:14,006
Hey! Oh, look. There!
419
00:14:14,073 --> 00:14:16,010
‐(squeals) ‐(groans) Damn it.
420
00:14:16,077 --> 00:14:18,048
You said you were very good
with needle weenies.
421
00:14:18,114 --> 00:14:20,085
You're the worst weenie
I've ever had.
422
00:14:20,152 --> 00:14:21,889
This is ridiculous.
423
00:14:21,956 --> 00:14:24,076
It's Halloween, and all I've got
is this bowl of nuts.
424
00:14:24,126 --> 00:14:25,195
(chewing)
425
00:14:25,262 --> 00:14:27,601
Uh, I‐I feel totally close
to a‐a breakthrough.
426
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:29,070
(chewing)
Well, now I'm thirsty.
427
00:14:29,136 --> 00:14:31,875
Do you think the barkeep knows
his way around a ginger ale?
428
00:14:31,942 --> 00:14:34,142
Wait, Roger went to get drinks
after he was eating nuts.
429
00:14:34,180 --> 00:14:35,325
(gasps dramatically)
Oh, my God, Tina.
430
00:14:35,349 --> 00:14:37,821
You mean salty peanuts
made someone thirsty?
431
00:14:37,887 --> 00:14:40,158
Are we on CSI: Salty Nut Unit?
432
00:14:40,225 --> 00:14:42,129
Dumb investigation time is over.
433
00:14:42,196 --> 00:14:43,265
It's candy bowl o'clock.
434
00:14:43,331 --> 00:14:44,801
- Let's go.
- No, I'm so close.
435
00:14:44,868 --> 00:14:46,715
I just need to look
at that dang group photo again.
436
00:14:46,739 --> 00:14:48,141
The photo,
437
00:14:48,208 --> 00:14:49,687
- the letters‐‐ they're gone!
- (gasping)
438
00:14:49,711 --> 00:14:51,314
Okay, that is odd.
439
00:14:51,381 --> 00:14:52,316
What the heck?
440
00:14:52,383 --> 00:14:54,120
Now I really need a ginger ale.
441
00:14:54,186 --> 00:14:55,757
Antonio, make it a double!
442
00:15:00,265 --> 00:15:01,702
So, someone took my photo?
443
00:15:01,769 --> 00:15:03,471
And Roger's letters?
Why?
444
00:15:03,539 --> 00:15:04,775
Maybe it was Ken Burns.
445
00:15:04,841 --> 00:15:06,477
He loves old photos and letters.
446
00:15:06,545 --> 00:15:07,947
Guess what, people, you mess
447
00:15:08,014 --> 00:15:10,052
with the snail head,
you mess with the snail tail.
448
00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:12,456
And now the snail tail
wants some answers.
449
00:15:12,524 --> 00:15:14,293
Thanks, Louise.
Maybe someone didn't want us
450
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:15,563
to find out the truth,
451
00:15:15,630 --> 00:15:17,967
didn't want Dolores
to stop coming around.
452
00:15:18,034 --> 00:15:19,146
Yeah, maybe someone
who wanted Dolores
453
00:15:19,170 --> 00:15:21,240
to keep trying
to conjure up Roger
454
00:15:21,307 --> 00:15:23,646
so they could say
they saw a ghost and take
455
00:15:23,713 --> 00:15:24,915
- a picture.
- Huh?
456
00:15:24,981 --> 00:15:26,685
- Or was it you, Gus?
- Oh, my!
457
00:15:26,752 --> 00:15:28,331
Maybe you don't want Dolores
to stop coming in here
458
00:15:28,355 --> 00:15:29,534
'cause maybe you have
a little crush.
459
00:15:29,558 --> 00:15:31,595
What? Oh, I'm‐I'm blushing.
460
00:15:31,662 --> 00:15:33,098
But I didn't take anything.
461
00:15:33,164 --> 00:15:34,601
Maybe it was that guy.
462
00:15:34,668 --> 00:15:37,005
What?
I'm on my way to a party.
463
00:15:37,072 --> 00:15:39,143
I only came in to use
the little bees' room.
464
00:15:39,210 --> 00:15:41,047
I did.
It went great.
465
00:15:41,114 --> 00:15:42,258
I'm glad those aren't real bees.
466
00:15:42,282 --> 00:15:45,155
'Cause if I got stung,
I'd "bee" in the hospital.
467
00:15:45,222 --> 00:15:47,059
With anaphylactic shock.
(chuckles)
468
00:15:47,126 --> 00:15:48,328
I'm seriously allergic.
469
00:15:48,395 --> 00:15:50,132
And bathrooms are
for customers only.
470
00:15:50,198 --> 00:15:52,336
- Next time. Can't undo it.
- Wait a minute.
471
00:15:52,403 --> 00:15:54,808
Maybe it was you, Mr. Manager.
472
00:15:54,875 --> 00:15:56,812
‐(yelps) ‐You get more business
473
00:15:56,879 --> 00:15:59,216
if Dolores keeps coming here
year after year.
474
00:15:59,283 --> 00:16:00,753
(gasps)
That's true.
475
00:16:00,820 --> 00:16:02,791
- Of course.
- It wasn't me.
476
00:16:02,857 --> 00:16:05,095
Sure, Dolores brings
a Halloween bump in business,
477
00:16:05,162 --> 00:16:07,600
but that doesn't mean
I'd mess with your totally
478
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:10,105
not annoying investigation
to keep people coming here.
479
00:16:10,172 --> 00:16:12,677
Aah! Well, no one leaves
until we figure this out.
480
00:16:12,744 --> 00:16:13,679
I'm leaving.
481
00:16:13,746 --> 00:16:15,182
Oh, yeah, you can go.
482
00:16:15,248 --> 00:16:17,186
‐(laughing) ‐(music playing)
483
00:16:17,252 --> 00:16:20,158
♪ Nothing having to do
with blood is happening ♪
484
00:16:20,225 --> 00:16:22,530
♪ I'm just sittin' in a chair ♪
485
00:16:22,597 --> 00:16:26,538
♪ And I'm not lookin'
at anything at all. ♪
486
00:16:26,605 --> 00:16:29,009
(woozy):
Oh, no.
487
00:16:29,076 --> 00:16:31,147
(exhales)
What happened?
488
00:16:31,214 --> 00:16:32,851
Oh, oh...
(gurgles)
489
00:16:32,917 --> 00:16:35,857
(grunts)
I‐I got to be done by now.
490
00:16:35,923 --> 00:16:36,992
Hello?
491
00:16:37,059 --> 00:16:38,996
I‐I‐I think I'm all done!
492
00:16:39,063 --> 00:16:42,002
Hey, I need someone to take
this needle out of my arm!
493
00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:44,006
(laughing)
494
00:16:44,073 --> 00:16:45,073
It's getting too full.
495
00:16:45,108 --> 00:16:46,745
It's gonna take all my blood.
496
00:16:46,812 --> 00:16:48,014
(panting):
Oh, God.
497
00:16:48,081 --> 00:16:49,350
I got to get out of here.
498
00:16:49,416 --> 00:16:51,220
Okay, I'm just gonna rip this
out of my arm.
499
00:16:51,287 --> 00:16:53,224
No! No, I'm not.
500
00:16:53,291 --> 00:16:56,464
I got to get help.
Mm...
501
00:16:56,532 --> 00:16:58,702
(gasps)
Okay, okay.
502
00:16:58,769 --> 00:17:00,238
Ev‐Everything's coming with me.
503
00:17:00,305 --> 00:17:02,175
(inhales, exhales)
I can do this.
504
00:17:02,242 --> 00:17:03,579
(inhales deeply, exhales)
505
00:17:03,646 --> 00:17:06,585
(gurgling, grunting)
506
00:17:06,652 --> 00:17:08,021
Almost there.
(grunts)
507
00:17:08,087 --> 00:17:09,925
Oh, come on.
(grunting, gurgling)
508
00:17:09,991 --> 00:17:11,327
(screams)
509
00:17:11,394 --> 00:17:12,897
(gurgles)
510
00:17:12,964 --> 00:17:14,701
Okay, let's run through
what happened.
511
00:17:14,768 --> 00:17:17,072
Roger caught peanuts in
his mouth, which is very cool.
512
00:17:17,139 --> 00:17:19,109
- And sexy.
- It's okay.
513
00:17:19,176 --> 00:17:20,489
He then leaves you
to go get drinks.
514
00:17:20,513 --> 00:17:21,715
The next thing we know,
515
00:17:21,782 --> 00:17:24,086
he's seen by the elevator
with I Dream of Jeannie?
516
00:17:24,153 --> 00:17:26,525
And in the morning, he's found
dead of cardiac arrest.
517
00:17:26,592 --> 00:17:27,927
Huh. Peanuts.
518
00:17:27,994 --> 00:17:29,430
Drinks.
Cardiac arrest.
519
00:17:29,496 --> 00:17:31,100
I still think
the bee guy did it.
520
00:17:31,167 --> 00:17:32,637
- (gasps) That's it!
- I'm right?!
521
00:17:32,704 --> 00:17:33,872
- No!
- (grumbles)
522
00:17:33,939 --> 00:17:35,141
Anaphylactic shock!
523
00:17:35,208 --> 00:17:36,110
He's allergic to bees.
524
00:17:36,177 --> 00:17:38,081
Roger was allergic to peanuts!
525
00:17:38,147 --> 00:17:40,094
Think about it. Their date
at the Thai restaurant.
526
00:17:40,118 --> 00:17:41,555
He came down with a sudden cold?
527
00:17:41,622 --> 00:17:43,091
Thai food is super peanut‐y.
528
00:17:43,157 --> 00:17:44,928
And the night he died,
he was eating nuts.
529
00:17:44,995 --> 00:17:46,106
But he died of a heart attack.
530
00:17:46,130 --> 00:17:48,434
Well, maybe an allergic reaction
can cause that?
531
00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:50,238
It can.
Oh, baby, it can.
532
00:17:50,305 --> 00:17:51,742
If he was allergic,
533
00:17:51,808 --> 00:17:54,113
why was he catching
all those peanuts in his mouth?
534
00:17:54,179 --> 00:17:57,019
Really showboating,
getting me all worked up.
535
00:17:57,085 --> 00:17:58,656
Well, he probably
didn't realize it.
536
00:17:58,722 --> 00:18:00,526
Allergies can come on
later in life.
537
00:18:00,593 --> 00:18:03,131
When I was in my 20s,
I was all about bees.
538
00:18:03,197 --> 00:18:05,101
I used to catch 'em
and shake 'em.
539
00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:06,938
But that still doesn't explain
540
00:18:07,005 --> 00:18:09,109
why Roger went upstairs
with I Dream of Jeannie.
541
00:18:09,176 --> 00:18:10,412
Which is why I want to look
542
00:18:10,478 --> 00:18:11,982
at the group photo
that someone stole.
543
00:18:12,049 --> 00:18:14,788
- And that someone is Dolores!
- (gasping)
544
00:18:14,854 --> 00:18:17,159
But, but how did you know?
545
00:18:17,225 --> 00:18:18,161
It was a hunch.
546
00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:19,129
And then I saw the photo
sticking out
547
00:18:19,196 --> 00:18:20,131
of the back of your pants.
548
00:18:20,198 --> 00:18:21,635
Oh. You can see this?
549
00:18:21,702 --> 00:18:23,972
Wait, you took the photo
and the letters?
550
00:18:24,039 --> 00:18:26,845
Yes. And it's my own
damn business why I did it.
551
00:18:26,912 --> 00:18:27,847
TINA:
I Dream of Jeannie.
552
00:18:27,914 --> 00:18:29,116
She's the final piece.
553
00:18:29,183 --> 00:18:30,351
Who was she?
554
00:18:30,418 --> 00:18:32,255
Or, possibly, who was "he"?
555
00:18:32,322 --> 00:18:33,525
- Huh?
- Look.
556
00:18:33,592 --> 00:18:35,996
That's an Adam's apple
that we didn't notice
557
00:18:36,063 --> 00:18:37,303
'cause someone stole the photo.
558
00:18:37,365 --> 00:18:39,303
And knuckle hair
that looks like shag carpet.
559
00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:40,706
And why's he wearing a pager?
560
00:18:40,773 --> 00:18:42,175
(gasps)
That thing's a pager?
561
00:18:42,242 --> 00:18:44,514
GUS:
Yeah. That's how pagers
looked back then.
562
00:18:44,581 --> 00:18:46,518
I had one
when I owned this town.
563
00:18:46,585 --> 00:18:48,154
This was all my turf.
564
00:18:48,221 --> 00:18:49,156
I was untouchable.
565
00:18:49,223 --> 00:18:50,993
They called me Payday. I‐‐
566
00:18:51,060 --> 00:18:53,364
I mean,
when I was a‐a bike messenger.
567
00:18:53,431 --> 00:18:55,168
I bet I Dream of Jeannie
was a doctor.
568
00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:56,571
They used to have male doctors.
569
00:18:56,638 --> 00:18:58,074
And I bet he was helping Roger,
570
00:18:58,141 --> 00:18:59,854
because Roger was having
an allergic reaction.
571
00:18:59,878 --> 00:19:02,650
Tina, I think your stupid story
might be right.
572
00:19:02,717 --> 00:19:04,630
Roger ate some peanuts,
started getting symptoms.
573
00:19:04,654 --> 00:19:05,990
TINA:
He goes to the bar.
574
00:19:06,056 --> 00:19:07,056
He's sweaty, woozy.
575
00:19:07,092 --> 00:19:08,427
And Dr. Jeannie‐Man notices
576
00:19:08,494 --> 00:19:10,431
and says maybe he needs
to lie down, so...
577
00:19:10,498 --> 00:19:12,880
LOUISE:
He helps Roger to the elevatr
so he can go to his room
578
00:19:12,904 --> 00:19:13,972
and get some rest.
579
00:19:14,039 --> 00:19:15,585
Maybe they didn't know
about peanut allergies.
580
00:19:15,609 --> 00:19:17,489
Male doctors probably weren't
that good back then.
581
00:19:17,513 --> 00:19:19,349
My poor Roger.
582
00:19:19,416 --> 00:19:21,220
He didn't cheat on me.
583
00:19:21,287 --> 00:19:23,157
At least he died
doing what he loved,
584
00:19:23,224 --> 00:19:26,063
eating peanuts in a hotel lobby.
585
00:19:26,130 --> 00:19:28,000
(laughs)
You full‐bottom‐ists.
586
00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:30,004
- You're a hoot!
- It's "phlebotomist."
587
00:19:30,071 --> 00:19:31,373
- What did I say?
- Well, uh,
588
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:33,044
Bob should be about finished.
589
00:19:33,110 --> 00:19:34,981
Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
590
00:19:35,048 --> 00:19:36,651
What? What‐what is it?
591
00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:38,421
‐(woozy groaning) ‐Oh, crap.
592
00:19:38,487 --> 00:19:40,358
Here, let me, uh,
clean you up a little bit.
593
00:19:40,425 --> 00:19:42,095
And I'll give you extra cookies
594
00:19:42,162 --> 00:19:43,440
if you don't tell anybody
about this.
595
00:19:43,464 --> 00:19:44,701
(weakly):
Huh. Okay.
596
00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:45,703
That's fair.
597
00:19:45,769 --> 00:19:46,838
Congratulations, Bob.
598
00:19:46,905 --> 00:19:48,441
You donated blood one time.
599
00:19:48,508 --> 00:19:50,078
Come on, let's hear it for Bob!
600
00:19:50,144 --> 00:19:51,681
- Everybody!
- (mouth full): I did it.
601
00:19:51,748 --> 00:19:54,052
- Yes, you did.
- I can do anything.
602
00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:56,791
I saved your life!
I saved your life!
603
00:19:56,858 --> 00:19:58,528
I‐I got to sit down.
604
00:19:58,595 --> 00:20:01,735
So why did you take the photo
and the letters, Dolores?
605
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:04,641
Oh, I was having a cocktail
at the bar.
606
00:20:04,707 --> 00:20:06,878
I needed
a little conjuring break.
607
00:20:06,945 --> 00:20:09,449
And I overheard you talking
and I suddenly thought,
608
00:20:09,517 --> 00:20:11,296
"What if this was all just
a huge waste of time?
609
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:12,890
What if she's right?"
610
00:20:12,957 --> 00:20:13,892
And she was.
611
00:20:13,959 --> 00:20:14,894
About you.
612
00:20:14,961 --> 00:20:16,497
And maybe about me, too.
613
00:20:16,564 --> 00:20:18,234
I feel like a fool.
614
00:20:18,301 --> 00:20:19,469
Makes sense.
Sorry.
615
00:20:19,537 --> 00:20:22,275
Roger, I'm so sorry.
616
00:20:22,342 --> 00:20:24,313
I mean, it's sorta romantic.
617
00:20:24,379 --> 00:20:25,849
In your own twisted way,
618
00:20:25,916 --> 00:20:27,319
you loved Roger so much
619
00:20:27,385 --> 00:20:30,024
that you kept this thing going
for 50 years.
620
00:20:30,091 --> 00:20:31,136
A‐And just to put this
out there,
621
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,030
Gus might still be in the lobby.
622
00:20:33,097 --> 00:20:34,834
- Not a bad rebound guy.
- Hmm.
623
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:36,470
I'd like to see that guy
catch a nut.
624
00:20:36,538 --> 00:20:37,538
(wind hissing)
625
00:20:37,573 --> 00:20:39,944
Oh, now you decide to come,
Roger?
626
00:20:40,011 --> 00:20:42,048
- Whoa.
- Someone's jealous.
627
00:20:42,115 --> 00:20:43,494
So I guess this means
I lose our bet
628
00:20:43,518 --> 00:20:45,021
and we won't do my amazing plan?
629
00:20:45,088 --> 00:20:46,858
Yep.
Just treats, no tricks.
630
00:20:46,925 --> 00:20:48,504
- Let's get out there, huh?
- Sure, sure, sure.
631
00:20:48,528 --> 00:20:50,031
But what if we go to that house,
632
00:20:50,098 --> 00:20:52,168
we totally just get candy
normally,
633
00:20:52,235 --> 00:20:54,473
and we open the fart hatch
and Gene does a little fart?
634
00:20:54,540 --> 00:20:56,878
- Nope.
- Okay, so I just fart
inside the snail
635
00:20:56,945 --> 00:20:58,214
and we all die like Roger?
636
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:01,153
Too soon.
Actually, no, it's not.
637
00:21:01,220 --> 00:21:04,026
♪ I went on down
to the party next door ♪
638
00:21:04,092 --> 00:21:07,432
♪ The music sounded groovy,
and I wanted more ♪
639
00:21:07,499 --> 00:21:10,438
♪ Then, at the end,
that's when things got weird ♪
640
00:21:10,506 --> 00:21:13,310
♪ 'Cause everyone there
had been dead for years ♪
641
00:21:13,377 --> 00:21:16,684
- ♪ It was a spooky soiree ♪
- ♪ La, la, la, la ♪
642
00:21:16,751 --> 00:21:18,487
♪ Those ghouls could shimmy
and shake ♪
643
00:21:18,555 --> 00:21:19,957
♪ La, la, la, la ♪
644
00:21:20,024 --> 00:21:22,028
♪ It was a spooky soiree ♪
645
00:21:22,095 --> 00:21:23,330
♪ La, la, la, la ♪
646
00:21:23,397 --> 00:21:25,201
♪ They're dancin'
back from the grave ♪
647
00:21:25,268 --> 00:21:26,971
♪ La, la, la, la ♪
648
00:21:27,038 --> 00:21:28,575
♪ That guy's dead
and that guy's dead ♪
649
00:21:28,642 --> 00:21:30,178
♪ That lady died
peacefully in bed ♪
650
00:21:30,244 --> 00:21:32,182
♪ That guy doin' the boogaloo ♪
651
00:21:32,248 --> 00:21:34,252
♪ Pretty darn sure
that he's dead, too. ♪