1 00:00:01,251 --> 00:00:03,253 [♪ opening theme music playing] 2 00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:22,231 -Hey, Jimmy Jr. -Hey, Tina. 3 00:00:22,314 --> 00:00:25,484 Are you excited for the Eight Grade Academic Improvement Reward Field Trip? 4 00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:26,735 You better believe it. 5 00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,612 I developed better study skills this semester, 6 00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:31,156 and I'm ready to be rewarded with a field trip. 7 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:32,616 And it's so cool that it's at that 8 00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:35,369 indoor rock climbing place, "Vertically Challenged." 9 00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:38,163 Yeah, I looked it up. You get a partner and one person "belays" 10 00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:39,540 while the other person climbs. 11 00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:40,749 And the belayer stands 12 00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:43,252 underneath the climber and holds a rope and just makes sure 13 00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:46,463 everything's safe up there in the harness area. 14 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,423 Um, s-so I wanna be belay buddies. 15 00:00:48,507 --> 00:00:50,551 -Uh... Oh, okay. -Yes. 16 00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:52,177 I've been doing pull-ups to get ready. 17 00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:55,013 Working on those biceps and trapeziuses. 18 00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:56,807 Man, I hope the harness is comfortable. 19 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,726 I did zip lining last summer, and the harness was super tight. 20 00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:01,520 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 21 00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:03,021 Well, I gotta go meet Zeke. 22 00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:05,357 He found a sponge, and we're gonna go kick it around. 23 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,734 Okay. See you, be-later. [laughs awkwardly] 24 00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:11,405 Just got to keep that 2.8 GPA to be eligible for the field trip. 25 00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,156 You mean, like, metaphorically? 26 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:16,326 No. Like a 2.8 grade point average. 27 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:17,578 Oh, okay. 28 00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,913 Do I have a 2.8 grade point average? 29 00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:23,458 No. Did you think you had a 2.8 grade point average? 30 00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:25,252 I don't know. Jimmy Jr. has one. 31 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:28,171 He's developed very strong study skills this semester. 32 00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:29,756 Yeah, I've heard. Sorry. 33 00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:33,218 So I just need to jhuzh my old GPA up a few notches. 34 00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:37,472 Um, I was hoping I could maybe sign up for one of those super cool, easy classes. 35 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,349 I think they're called "electives"? 36 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:42,978 You know, less taxing, more chillaxing, wink, wink. 37 00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:45,605 [Gene] Yeah, I think Peter Pescadero got an A in robotics 38 00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:47,441 for taping a battery to a cup. 39 00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:50,402 -Okay. What about typing? -Typing? 40 00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:51,945 Mr. Grant teaches typing. 41 00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:54,865 The new term started this week, but I can still sign you up. 42 00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:57,701 My fingers have tickled a few keyboards in their day. Let's do it. 43 00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:00,203 You want to go to that indoor climbing gym, I get it. 44 00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:02,831 There's nothing like being 12 feet off the ground 45 00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:05,792 to make you feel like you're 20 feet off the ground. 46 00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:07,669 I'm kind of excited about the belay thing. 47 00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,629 She wants to look up at Jimmy Jr.'s butt. 48 00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:11,173 And kinda control it with a rope. 49 00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:14,176 Like it's a float at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. 50 00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:16,637 -Hey, Teddy. -Hi, Teddy. 51 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:19,723 Hey, guys, I'll have a Burger of the Day and extra fries. 52 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,933 Extra fries? Check you out. 53 00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:23,685 Yeah, yeah. I just landed a big job. 54 00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:25,687 I'm custom building a high-end grill 55 00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:27,981 -for this rich guy's outdoor kitchen. -A grill? 56 00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:29,691 -Really? What kind? -A Gaucho grill. 57 00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:32,819 Wait, seriously? You're building an Argentinian Gaucho grill? 58 00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:34,446 That-That's like my dream grill. 59 00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:36,657 I thought was your dream grill. Ha! 60 00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:37,991 Yeah, the rich guy, Elliot. 61 00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:39,951 He's super into Argentinian cooking. 62 00:02:40,035 --> 00:02:43,163 He's actually on some sort of food pilgrimage in Patagonia right now. 63 00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:44,414 I'm working while he's gone. 64 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,750 Wait, Teddy, do you know how to build a Gaucho grill? 65 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:49,461 I mean, how hard can it be? It's a grill, right? 66 00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:51,338 And then you slap some Argentina on it. 67 00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:53,590 No, Teddy, you gotta have a firebox, 68 00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,342 you gotta have an adjustable grill grate 69 00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:57,761 to control the distance between the meat and the flame... 70 00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,221 Whoa, Bob, slow down. 71 00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:00,555 I don't speak grill nerd. 72 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,265 Ha! He is a grill nerd. 73 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,267 [stuttering] It's just... It's more complicated 74 00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,311 than some normal backyard barbecue. 75 00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:07,521 It needs to be done right. 76 00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:09,981 [nerd voice] "It's more complicated." [laughs] 77 00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:11,608 That's you, Bob. [laughs] 78 00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:14,236 -[nerd voice] "It needs to be done right." -[laughs sharply] 79 00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:15,612 I don't like either of you. 80 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,239 [Mr. Grant] The Constitution. 81 00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:20,033 Romeo and Juliet, the Bible. 82 00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:21,118 Ever heard of them? 83 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,662 Well, they were all typed on computer keyboards. 84 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:24,913 Wait, what? 85 00:03:24,996 --> 00:03:28,250 Everyone in this classroom has the ability to type. 86 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:30,001 But right now, your fingers are clay. 87 00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:31,420 I will mold that clay. 88 00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:35,340 And I swear to God and Qwerty that by the end of this term, 89 00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:38,468 you will be typing up to 45 WPM. 90 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:39,636 WPM? 91 00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:40,804 Words Per Minute. 92 00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:41,972 How fast do I type? 93 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,974 Sorry, I thought someone asked how fast I type. 94 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:46,685 The answer? A hundred and ten WPM. 95 00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:49,396 I guess that's why it's on a certificate over there on the wall. 96 00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:53,483 I won a typing competition, fastest 13-year-old in the county that year. 97 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:57,195 No big deal, except that it was a huge deal. Yeah. 98 00:03:57,279 --> 00:04:00,490 Now, place your fingers of the index variety on F and J. 99 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,409 Just feel for the keys with the little bumps. 100 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,493 [student] Ew. 101 00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,454 Oh, wow, I've always wondered about those bumps. 102 00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:07,330 I thought maybe they were the keyboard's nipples, 103 00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:09,499 which now that I say it seems wrong. 104 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,835 Okay, so your fingers are on the home row. 105 00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:15,046 The home row is the cornerstone of learning to type. 106 00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:17,215 It keeps us oriented, it keeps us safe. 107 00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:19,593 You lose the home row, you're in the wilderness. 108 00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:23,096 Cold, alone, waiting for death's sweet kiss. 109 00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:25,891 Okay, let's hit "return" to load your first prompt. 110 00:04:26,308 --> 00:04:28,852 [Tina] Sheila... 111 00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:33,148 went... to... the... 112 00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:34,941 store. 113 00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:36,610 Wow, this is taking forever. 114 00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:39,237 What if I just type how I always type? 115 00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:41,239 Take a quick vacation from home row? 116 00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:43,074 Now Sheila can get where she needs to go. 117 00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:44,951 Wow, Tina, you're fast. 118 00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:46,745 I can't even find the O. 119 00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:48,747 Is that it? Is that it? 120 00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:50,624 Fine, I'm just gonna use the Q. 121 00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:52,876 Uh, Tina, what's happening here? 122 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,795 Your fingers are all over the place. 123 00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:56,797 It's like a Muppet playing piano. 124 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,882 I know, but this has been kind of working for me. 125 00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:01,218 You appear to be typing at 50 WPM 126 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,261 but I don't even understand what I'm looking at. 127 00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:04,513 Just go to the home row. 128 00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:05,847 Go home, go home now. 129 00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:08,683 -Or I just... boom. -[groans] 130 00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:11,061 Where are the emojis on this? 131 00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:13,897 [Tina] Okay, Mom, I typed up your grocery list. 132 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:14,981 All right. 133 00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:17,442 Gene, I'm gonna print out that letter to Michael McDonald 134 00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:19,778 that you had me type up asking him what a doobie is. 135 00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:21,196 We'll get to the bottom of this. 136 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:22,781 Anybody else need anything typed? 137 00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:25,242 Can you crap out a paper on photosynthesis real quick? 138 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,409 No, Louise. 139 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:30,247 Fine. I guess I'll do my homework like an idiot. 140 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,749 Boy, that class has got you typin' up a storm. 141 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,000 I know. I'm in the zone. 142 00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:35,752 And I'm kinda the fastest one in there. 143 00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,796 So, yeah, I'm gonna get that easy A, 144 00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:40,841 which means I'm also gonna get to see a belay-full of B. 145 00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:42,092 -Hmm. -Jimmy Jr.'s butt. 146 00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,552 -[phone vibrating] -Yep. Got it. 147 00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:46,137 -Hello? -Bob! I-I finished the Gaucho grill. 148 00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:49,474 I did everything they said to do online, but I-I don't know if I built it right. 149 00:05:49,558 --> 00:05:51,351 Can you come over tomorrow and check a look? 150 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:52,644 Oh, now you want my help? 151 00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:53,854 Yes, please. 152 00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:55,480 Uh, I don't know if I want to. 153 00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:57,232 -What? -Yeah, maybe I'm busy 154 00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:59,067 with my... cool life. 155 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:02,195 Come on. I'm sorry I called you a grill nerd. 156 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,197 Just come over, Bob, I need you. 157 00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:05,574 [sighs] Okay, fine. 158 00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:07,367 Great. I knew you would, nerd. 159 00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:10,245 -So, how's it look? -Hmm. 160 00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:11,830 "Hmm"? What's "hmm" about it? 161 00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:14,624 It just seems like the lowest level for the grill grate 162 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,376 is still too far from the embers. 163 00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,336 Oh, no! No, no, no. 164 00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:20,046 I can't lose this job, Bob. 165 00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:23,133 Rich people make great clients because of all the money they have. 166 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,468 Okay, I-I can help. We can do this. 167 00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:28,221 [whispers] We're gonna fix all his mistakes and make you perfect. 168 00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:30,348 Bob, please don't talk about me to the grill. 169 00:06:30,432 --> 00:06:33,226 [whispering] He doesn't understand you and he never will. 170 00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:36,563 Cut it out, Bob. Don't listen to him, grill. You were my friend first. 171 00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:38,690 [♪ amusing music playing] 172 00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:40,400 -Hey, Belay Buddy. -Hi, Tina. 173 00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:41,484 -Yeah, you are. -What? 174 00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:42,569 You know it. 175 00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:43,987 Well, look at Tina. 176 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,531 Having witty banter in the hallway with my belay buddy, 177 00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,116 rocking that A in typing class. 178 00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:51,036 Now nothing can come between me and a harness full of hiney. 179 00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,246 I mean, I definitely have an A in typing, right? 180 00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:55,123 [laughs] Oh, you're not getting an A Tina. 181 00:06:55,206 --> 00:06:57,208 What? But I'm the fastest typer in here. 182 00:06:57,292 --> 00:06:59,210 I'm pulling down 75 WPM. 183 00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:02,505 Yes, your bizarre and somewhat grotesque finger waggling 184 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:03,673 seems to work somehow. 185 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,259 But I can't in good conscience give you an A. 186 00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:08,345 You're not learning to type the way you should. 187 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:11,056 You're a "street typer." And frankly, it's disgusting. 188 00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:14,309 Okay, fine. If it'll get me an A, I'll use the home row. See? 189 00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:19,731 -[keyboard clacking slowly] -Ty... ping... so... fast. 190 00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:21,399 Yeah, never mind, my fingers hate this. 191 00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:24,569 Ugh, Mr. Grant I need an A so I can have a 2.8-grade point average 192 00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:26,905 so I can go on the field trip to Vertically Challenged. 193 00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:29,991 I wish those words meant anything at all to me, but they just don't. 194 00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:33,745 Listen, my job is to help you not type like a psycho. 195 00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:34,996 It doesn't seem fair. 196 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,332 If I'm fast, it shouldn't matter how I do it. 197 00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:40,001 Okay? What if, uh, what if I can type that fast? 198 00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:42,921 -[♪ dramatic sting] -A hundred and ten words per minute? 199 00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:45,465 Yeah. Then would you give me an A so I could go on the trip? 200 00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:47,717 Tina, I-I'm glad you got big dreams. 201 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,637 Even when those dreams are ridiculously stupid. 202 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,847 So sure, I'll give you an A 203 00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:55,266 -if you can hit 110 WPM. -Yes! 204 00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:57,644 Mr. Grant, my mom wrote me a note. 205 00:07:57,727 --> 00:08:00,397 I can't type today. I have type-one finger-betes. 206 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,607 It looks like my handwriting, but it's not. 207 00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,069 [♪ ukulele plays] 208 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,738 ...definitely should try cherry wood. 209 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,616 A true temple of meat deserves the best. 210 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,576 Are you talking about your underwear, Dad? 211 00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:14,911 He's texting with Teddy. 212 00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:18,540 Can't wait to throw some beef in there. 213 00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:20,709 Dad's texts to Teddy have taken a turn. 214 00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:23,586 [sighs] Eighty WPMs. Still not fast enough. 215 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:26,673 Hey T, do you think we can borrow those fast little fingers of yours to, 216 00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:28,425 I don't know, do restaurant stuff? 217 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,176 It's called a work ethic. Heard of it? 218 00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:33,638 -'Cause Gene and I are all about it! -Yeah! 219 00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:36,641 Sorry, can't. I've only got a week to hit 110 words per minute 220 00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:38,351 if I want to go to Vertically Challenged 221 00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:40,729 -and, uh, you know... -See Jimmy Jr.'s butt in a harness. 222 00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:41,813 Yes, we know. 223 00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:44,733 Dad, I was gonna say get to do some fun indoor climbing. 224 00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:47,027 -Oh, sorry. -And also, yeah, see that butt. 225 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:48,111 Mm-hmm. 226 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:52,032 ♪ A hundred and ten words per minute ♪ 227 00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:55,368 ♪ You're doing that That's how you win it ♪ 228 00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:59,372 ♪ A hundred and ten words per minute ♪ 229 00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:02,333 ♪ You're doing it, man That's how you win it ♪ 230 00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:04,044 ♪ A hundred and ten... ♪ 231 00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:06,087 A 110 WPMs. I did it! 232 00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:09,382 What the... I mean, good. Good for you. 233 00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:12,635 Wow, Tina typed so fast. 234 00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,804 And she doesn't even type the way you showed us. 235 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,682 It's like everything you taught us doesn't matter at all. 236 00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,851 Maybe Tina should teach the class. 237 00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:22,187 She kinda looks like an old lady already anyway. 238 00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:23,605 Thanks, Jocelyn. 239 00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:24,939 The last part I didn't like. But... 240 00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:27,859 -[growls] -Mr. Grant, your face is weird. 241 00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:29,027 Are you pooping? 242 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:32,697 I'm not pooping, Jocelyn. 243 00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:35,200 So I get the A, right? I can go on the field trip on Friday? 244 00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:36,701 You can go. 245 00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:39,704 -Yes! -Mr. Grant, just go to the bathroom. 246 00:09:39,788 --> 00:09:43,166 You're gonna have an accident, and it's gonna be a real distraction. 247 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,293 Wow, it turned out great. 248 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,295 We made something beautiful, didn't we, Teddy? 249 00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:49,672 We sure did, Bob. Linda, I'm glad you could come, too. 250 00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,216 Even though you didn't help at all. 251 00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:53,176 Well, I wasn't about to work at the restaurant 252 00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:56,096 while you two beef-boys had a "test out the grill" party. 253 00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:58,056 I was only gonna be gone a couple hours. 254 00:09:58,139 --> 00:09:59,557 Also, it's not a party, Lin. 255 00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:03,937 Just 'cause I brought really good meat. And wine. And the perfect pineapple... 256 00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:06,397 And tunes. Bluetooth is a-go. 257 00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:09,692 [♪ upbeat instrumental music playing] 258 00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:14,447 [grunting] 259 00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:17,951 [grunting] 260 00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:20,662 [♪ suspenseful music playing] 261 00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:22,497 All right, that A in typing 262 00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:24,916 -got you your 2.8. -Yay! 263 00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:28,211 Tina's gonna be the first person in our family to graduate eighth grade. 264 00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,963 And I'm making a note in the system 265 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,006 that you will be absent from class to attend 266 00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:34,467 the Vertically Challenged field trip on Friday. 267 00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,136 Yup, I'll be busy belaying my buddy. 268 00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:37,679 -Uh-huh. -Okay, bye. 269 00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,973 -Hmm, that's odd. -What? 270 00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:42,809 Someone put another note in here for something on Friday. 271 00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:46,104 Is it to remember not to come to school on Saturday and Sunday? 272 00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:49,440 A mandatory typing test has been scheduled for Friday 273 00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:52,652 at the exact same time they'll be loading up the bus for the field trip. 274 00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:54,070 A mandatory typing test. 275 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,781 It says "Anyone who misses this test will get an automatic F, 276 00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:59,409 "which could drop some people's GP below 2.8, 277 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,161 "rendering them 'field trip ineligible.'" 278 00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:02,871 Well, that's specific. 279 00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:05,540 What? I'm gonna go all caps on his ass. 280 00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:08,376 -You! -Me? 281 00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:10,545 -Me-Me what? -You know what. 282 00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:13,923 I'm just going into the faculty lounge so I can enjoy my pasta 283 00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,884 from last night and the night before. 284 00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:18,344 Don't try to impress us with what you eat for lunch. 285 00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:21,097 What's this B.S. about a "mandatory typing test" at the same time 286 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,016 as we're loading the bus for the field trip? 287 00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:24,684 Ohh, that, right. 288 00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:28,479 Well, it just felt like a good time for a mandatory test, that's all. 289 00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:31,191 But I deserve to go on that field trip! I worked hard for that A! 290 00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:33,651 Yeah, which is not something we usually do, pal. 291 00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:37,071 Look, if you refuse to learn the home row method, 292 00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:38,656 then you'll never be a great typer. 293 00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:40,909 Or succeed at anything at all, ever. 294 00:11:40,992 --> 00:11:43,453 I'm as good a typer as you when you were my age. 295 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,455 I-I bet I'm even a better typer than you now. 296 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:48,708 [laughs hysterically] That's hilarious, Tina. 297 00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:51,044 You are not a better typer than me. 298 00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,338 Yes, I am. 299 00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:56,633 Well, maybe the only way to settle this is a typing battle. 300 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,134 -Huh? -A typing battle? 301 00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,553 After school. Tina versus Mr. Grant. 302 00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:02,055 Student versus teacher. 303 00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:04,891 Teen girl versus... late 50s man? 304 00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:08,186 How dare you. Look, I can't have a typing battle with a student. 305 00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:10,980 We're supposed to help students, not demolish them 306 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,191 and leave them in a puddle of their own blood. 307 00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:14,859 -He's scared. -I'm not scared. 308 00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:17,403 Scared of typing battles, scared of intimacy. 309 00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:19,656 I'm not scared of either of those things. 310 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,032 Well, half scared of one. 311 00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:24,202 Then say yes. If I win, there's no typing test on Friday. 312 00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,454 And if you lose? Which you will. 313 00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:29,707 I guess you get the pride of having beaten a child at something. 314 00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:32,252 How about if you lose, there's still a test on Friday, 315 00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:35,296 and you have to clean every single keyboard in typing class. 316 00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:38,549 And trust me, you're gonna see some stuff that will haunt you forever. 317 00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:41,135 -You're on. -I will crush you. 318 00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:43,805 But not this afternoon, because I'm getting a thing lasered off. 319 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:47,016 -But tomorrow afternoon, I will crush you! -[♪ dramatic sting] 320 00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,938 Good luck type-battling your teacher, Tina. 321 00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:54,857 Which your mother and I are hoping is totally normal. 322 00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:56,276 -Thanks. -Our girl's ready. 323 00:12:56,359 --> 00:12:58,319 And you should find a spot for Mr. Grant's head. 324 00:12:58,403 --> 00:12:59,946 'Cause we're coming home with it! 325 00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:02,282 Don't bring it home, I wanna declutter. 326 00:13:02,365 --> 00:13:04,450 -You got this, Tina. -Yeah, I do. 327 00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:07,078 Good luck, Tina. You're fighting for all of us, girl. 328 00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:08,162 Thank you. I am. 329 00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:09,831 I hope you win today, Tina. 330 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:12,875 You deserve to go on that trip even though you kind of gamed the system. 331 00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,711 -Thanks. -I'll be there, rooting for you... 332 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,254 With my mouth, not my arms. 333 00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:18,423 I'm pretty sore from all the upper body stuff 334 00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:21,050 I've been doing to get ready for Vertically Challenged. 335 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,428 That's why I keep rubbing this CoolZone cream on. 336 00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:25,555 [sniffs] Whoa, that's potent. 337 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:28,057 I didn't know we were allowed to bring creams to school. 338 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,392 This changes everything. 339 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,686 You really gotta rub it in. 340 00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:34,564 [groans] It feels so good on my muscles. 341 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:37,567 -[groans] That's the stuff. -Damn. 342 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,610 -See you later. -Mm-hmm. 343 00:13:39,694 --> 00:13:41,404 -Tina. -Mr. Grant. 344 00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:42,864 Just keep walking, Tina. 345 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:46,034 We'll see you after school at the type-off, Mr. Grant. 346 00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:47,744 And also Tina will probably see you 347 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,787 during the regular scheduled typing class, 348 00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:52,623 which may be a little awkward today. But, yeah. 349 00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:56,085 I can't believe you were dumb enough to agree to battle a student. 350 00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:59,964 Yeah, what's next? A kid challenges me to a running competition? 351 00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:02,550 I threw my back out pulling up my shorts today. 352 00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:04,886 Guys, cool your muffins. I'm gonna win. 353 00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:06,387 You better win, Grant. 354 00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:10,808 I'm not learning all the state capitals no matter how many kids want to battle me. 355 00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,977 -Guys, I'm freaking out. -[bell over door rings] 356 00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:15,730 Oh, God, oh, God. He's got security footage. 357 00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:16,939 He's gonna see everything. 358 00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:18,566 What? What are you talking about? 359 00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:19,650 What security footage? 360 00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:23,905 Elliot, the Gaucho grill guy, apparently has a security camera in his backyard. 361 00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:24,989 -Oh. -Uh-oh. 362 00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:26,783 He texted me asking about the grill. 363 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,576 He just got cell reception back. 364 00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:30,369 He's getting on a plane in Patagonia, 365 00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:31,954 and he's excited to watch the footage 366 00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:34,791 of the grill being built on his layover in Miami. 367 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,793 So, he's gonna see... 368 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,462 Us having a big ol' beef party in his backyard. 369 00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:41,547 -Oh, boy. -He'll never hire me again. 370 00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:44,383 Also, what if he doesn't even pay me for this job? 371 00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:46,427 I dropped a lot of money into that grill. 372 00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:49,222 You just had to add the pineapple grilling hook, didn't you, Bob! 373 00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,724 It came with the sausage hook. It was a set, Teddy. 374 00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:53,434 Bob, Teddy, calm down. 375 00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:54,894 We'll figure something out. 376 00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:56,979 Should we just go smash the security camera? 377 00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:59,023 No, no, it's all online. 378 00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:00,608 Okay, okay. Um... 379 00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:05,196 Well, right now, when he watched the footage, you're gonna be the bad guy 380 00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:08,449 who had an unauthorized beef-part with his brand new grill. 381 00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:10,409 -Yeah. -But what if 382 00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:13,412 you were the good guy who heroically saved the grill? 383 00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:15,248 Saved it from what? 384 00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,625 [woman announcing on PA] 385 00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,503 [♪ soft suspenseful music playing] 386 00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:53,911 Okay, standard type-off rules. 387 00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:56,831 We go three rounds, fastest typer wins the round. 388 00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:58,958 Best out of three wins the whole damn thing. 389 00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:00,042 Oh, and keep it down. 390 00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:02,545 We don't want Principal Spoors finding out about this. 391 00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:05,715 We're not quite sure where he stands on teacher-student battles. 392 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,633 -Hey. -What? 393 00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:10,052 Try not to cry too hard when I whoop you. 394 00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:13,556 Actually, you can use your tears to clean off these filthy keyboards. 395 00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:17,852 I'm... just stretching out my right pinkie because I'm about to delete you. 396 00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:20,396 [laughs] Yeah, she went there. 397 00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:22,690 -Type his head off, Tina. -Yeah! 398 00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,025 Okay, people. 399 00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:25,985 -Prompt one. -[♪ dramatic music playing] 400 00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:28,237 [keyboards clacking] 401 00:16:36,871 --> 00:16:39,624 -Who are you rooting for? -What? Tina. 402 00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:40,708 Same. 403 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,545 Mr. Grant, 111 words per minute. 404 00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:46,339 Tina, 108. 405 00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:48,382 First round goes to Mr. Grant. 406 00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:49,550 -[chatter] -Oh, man. 407 00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:51,302 Come on, Tina. You can beat him. 408 00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:52,511 School that teacher. 409 00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:55,264 Yeah. Serve him a piping hot mug of defeat. 410 00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,266 Prompt two. 411 00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,435 -[keyboard clacking] -[panting] 412 00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:00,561 There she is. 413 00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:02,438 There's our freaky-fingered gal. 414 00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:04,232 [Gene] Look at those fingers bang! 415 00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,025 [grunting] 416 00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:07,109 [grunts] 417 00:17:07,652 --> 00:17:10,238 Mr. Grant, 112 words per minute. 418 00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:12,740 Tina, 113. 419 00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:14,575 This round goes to Tina. 420 00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:15,993 [all cheering] 421 00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:17,245 -Crap. -[groans] 422 00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:18,996 Last round, last prompt. 423 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,123 Winner of this wins the type-off. 424 00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,918 [Jocelyn] Oh, my God, it could be either of them. 425 00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:26,337 You got him on the ropes, Tina. Now finish him. 426 00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:28,005 Sweep the fingers. 427 00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:31,217 Vertically Challenged, here you come, Tina. 428 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:32,760 High-ten! [grunts] 429 00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:36,180 Huh, that's a pretty wet high-ten, no judgment. 430 00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:38,391 Wait, my hands feel weird. 431 00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:40,726 My God. Ahh! My fingers are getting all tingly. 432 00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:43,980 Uh-oh, it's the CoolZone stuff from my sore muscles. 433 00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,607 Ahh, ahh! They're numb. My fingers are numb. 434 00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:47,858 I can't feel the keys. 435 00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:49,986 -That's not good. -I'm so sorry, Tina. 436 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,446 I was just trying to give you a supportive high-ten. 437 00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,323 Ahh! I can't feel anything. 438 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,325 Well, now you know how teachers feel. 439 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,371 -[♪ dramatic sting] -Final prompt. 440 00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:01,914 Wait, wait, wait. Stop! 441 00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,082 Hold on the prompt! 442 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,459 I got CoolZone on my hands and now my fingers are numb. 443 00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:07,587 -I'm not gonna be able to type. -Oh, wow. 444 00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:10,506 Let me head over to my filing cabinet and file that under 445 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:11,632 "Not my problem." 446 00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:13,426 I gotta wipe it off, I gotta wipe it off. 447 00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:15,595 [grunts] It's not working. 448 00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:18,639 [grunts] Quick emergency bathroom trip. [panting] 449 00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:20,766 [struggling] 450 00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:22,810 [groans] 451 00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:25,062 Why won't he just text or call already? 452 00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:26,981 I'm so nervous, I can't even eat. 453 00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:29,233 It's gonna be okay, Teddy. It was a good plan. 454 00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:30,359 Mm, not really. 455 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,069 -[phone vibrates] -Oh, oh! This is him. 456 00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:35,364 Hello. Hey, Elliot. Uh-huh. 457 00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:38,075 Yeah, That's us on the... 458 00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:41,912 Yes, we grilled. We-We were just making sure it worked... 459 00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:44,457 Well, I wouldn't call it a party. 460 00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:46,417 I guess there was some dancing. 461 00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:49,086 Yep, that was... a few cannonballs. 462 00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:50,588 But I'm really sorry... 463 00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:53,633 Oh, yeah, that car came out of nowhere. 464 00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:55,134 And the guy with the bat, 465 00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:58,095 he must've been one of those angry vegetarians I've been hearing about. 466 00:18:58,179 --> 00:18:59,388 They hate grills. 467 00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:03,559 Yeah, I know, the twists and turns of life, huh? 468 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:04,852 Okay, great. 469 00:19:04,935 --> 00:19:07,647 I'll come over tomorrow. We can settle up. Bye. 470 00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:09,148 Yes, he bought it. 471 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:10,399 -Yeah! -Seriously? 472 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,360 -[Elliot on call] Hello? -Oh, God. Hey! Sorry, 473 00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:15,112 I'm at an auction and a guy bought a thing. 474 00:19:15,196 --> 00:19:16,947 A very famous pair of pants. 475 00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:18,115 Gotta go. Bye. 476 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:19,992 I couldn't wash it off. 477 00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:22,578 Would it kill this school to have some warm water or soap 478 00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:23,746 in these freakin' bathrooms? 479 00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:25,873 Soap? Ooh-la-la. 480 00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:28,959 I'm so sorry, Tina. Damn you, CoolZone. 481 00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:31,337 In what zone is this considered cool? 482 00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:33,255 Can we, um, reschedule? 483 00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:35,883 You can't reschedule a type-off, Tina. 484 00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:38,010 Anyway, isn't your little field trip tomorrow? 485 00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:40,554 So yeah, we finish this today. 486 00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:41,764 Sorry, Tina. 487 00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:43,516 Third prompt! 488 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:44,600 [keyboard clacking] 489 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,268 I don't know where my fingers are. 490 00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:47,353 Aw, I bet you're wishing 491 00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:50,439 you'd just learned to use the home row now, huh, Tina? 492 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,858 But you just had to go your own way, didn't you? 493 00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:56,612 Blaze your own trail with your freakish freestyling? 494 00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,698 Well, you know what can happen to trailblazers? 495 00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:00,825 They go up in blazing flames. 496 00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:02,952 Yeah, that was a burn-burn. 497 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:05,705 Tina, don't let anyone tell you where home row is. 498 00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:08,541 You make your own home row, you crazy SOB! 499 00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:10,167 I can't. I'm gonna lose! 500 00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:14,714 Come on, Tina. Weird, freakish typer. 501 00:20:14,797 --> 00:20:18,342 -[chants] Come on, Tina. -[all chanting] Weird, freakish typer. 502 00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:22,179 Come on, Tina. Weird, freakish typer. 503 00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:26,058 Come on, Tina. Weird, freakish typer. 504 00:20:26,142 --> 00:20:29,895 Come on, Tina. Weird, freakish typer. 505 00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:34,150 Come on, Tina. Weird, freakish typer. 506 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:36,777 Mr. Grant, 115 words per minute. 507 00:20:37,194 --> 00:20:39,155 Tina, 116! 508 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,781 -Tina wins! -[Tina] What? 509 00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:41,907 [all cheering] 510 00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:43,200 No, no, no! 511 00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:44,869 -Damn it! -Freakin' Grant. 512 00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:46,328 Yes! Yes! Yes! 513 00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:47,705 [kisses] 514 00:20:47,788 --> 00:20:48,956 Okay, my lips are numb. 515 00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:51,000 [♪ upbeat music playing] 516 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:53,210 Did you see me get to that hand hold, Tina? 517 00:20:53,294 --> 00:20:55,921 Oh, I saw. I saw the whole thing. 518 00:20:56,005 --> 00:20:57,423 Looking good up there, buddy. 519 00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:02,511 [Teddy in Spanish] ♪ Parrilla gaucha! ♪ 520 00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:07,600 ♪ Parrilla gaucha! ♪ 521 00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:12,563 ♪ Has prendido fuego ♪ 522 00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:16,984 ♪ Dentro de mi corazón ♪ 523 00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:22,114 ♪ Templo de la carne ♪ 524 00:21:22,740 --> 00:21:27,203 ♪ Siempre te adorare ♪ 525 00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:29,997 ♪ Parrilla gaucha! ♪