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- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
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So this storm front could
change course and make
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landfall this weekend.
We're in wait-and-see mode.
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Either way, don't get
mad at me about it.
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Just doing my best.
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Aw, Scott Baggs seems
really vulnerable right now.
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- That's hot.
- Hey, Mr. Fisch.
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Hello, burger lady. Tiny people.
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- Hi.
- Hello.
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Bob. How are you, Bob?
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- Uh, good?
- Good, good, good.
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Uh, is this about the rent?
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Sorry, Linda put a
smiley face on the check.
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I-I thought it was too
much. Was it too much?
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- Is that why you're here?
- No.
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- I enjoyed it.
- I knew it.
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What are you doing this weekend, Bob?
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Nothing fun or
interesting or cool, right?
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- Uh, probably not. Why?
- Well, I need a private chef.
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For private cooking.
At a private location.
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And, yes, you will
need to sign this NDA.
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NDA? "No ding-a-lings allowed"?
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Wait, are-are you asking me
to cater an event or something?
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- Yes. A camping event.
- Oh, camping.
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It's actually more like fancy camping.
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"Flancing," I call it,
with, let's just say,
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a secret club of powerful members.
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A brotherhood, really.
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The blood oath was fun, but messy.
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Mr. Fischoeder, are
you in the Illuminati?
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You can tell us, we're on the wait-list.
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Ha-ha. No.
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Those guys wish they were
in the Babylon league.
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- The Babalong League?
- Babylon.
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Like the ancient, uh, thing.
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- Oh...
- Yes, a bunch of powerful men
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letting our hair down and
picking the next president
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over s'mores and cocktails
and naughty jokes.
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None of that makes me want to
take this catering gig. Sorry.
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Bob, I need you.
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I sort of kind of forgot
that we voted last year
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to each bring our own chefs from now on
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since everyone's got their
"dietary restrictions."
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And the other members
already picked over
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the best chefs in town,
so now I'm asking you.
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- Thank you?
- Name your price.
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- A billion dollars.
- No.
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- A million dollars.
- No.
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- A billion dollars.
- She just said that.
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How about $973?
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- That's very specific.
- It's the price
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for a new condenser for the walk-in,
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which apparently we
need. The one we have is
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ready to go to that walk-in in the sky.
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Right, I guess ignoring
that horrible sound
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isn't gonna fix it.
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- Boring, but sold.
- Really?
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So, Bob, do we have a deal?
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Uh, okay.
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- I guess I'll do it.
- Yay.
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Wait, they said there might
be a storm. Aren't you worried
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- about the weather?
- Y-You don't really need
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to worry about the weather
when you know the people I know.
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- They take care of all that.
- Wait, what?
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Oh, and Bob, whip up a
custom cocktail, will you?
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It-it's kind of...
Part of the whole thing.
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Think refreshing, yet sour.
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- Manly, yet whimsical.
- Uh, a cocktail. Uh, okay.
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And gin. Lots of gin. And
call it something clever.
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The things we'll do for a condenser.
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- I mean, you'll do.
- Yup.
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Okay, come aboard!
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Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, put this on.
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- All right.
- Okay, now come aboard.
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But I have a blindfold
on. Uh, I can't see.
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You should've thought of
that before you put the blindfold on.
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Okay, I'll try... ow.
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I don't know why you stepped there.
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- Ow!
- You're bad at this.
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- No peeking.
- I'm not.
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- What? Speed up? Okay.
- Aah!
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No peeking!
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Can I take the blindfold off?
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I'd love to be able to see things again.
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Eh, fine.
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Oh, my god, we're on a cliff.
Mr. Fischoeder, what if I fell?
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Well, that would've
been embarrassing for me.
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I'd be the idiot whose
chef fell off the cliff.
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So, my, uh, custom cocktail
is, uh, going in my mouth soon?
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Yeah. It was actually kind
of fun to come up with.
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I-I hope you like it. It's gin and mint
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and a dash of pickle juice.
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I call it "the league of
ex-brine-inary gentlemint."
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Mmm... I think we should
call it the ring-a-ding.
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Mm, fine.
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Uh, you know, I haven't
had any reception
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since we got to the island.
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Is there a place where I...
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Oh, there's no cell phone
reception on the island.
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We paid a lot of money for that.
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You can make your tik toks
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when you get home, Bob.
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- That's not what I...
- Come, come.
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- Bring the ring-a-ding!
- Yup, yup. Sure.
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Sticky Nicky McArthur. How's the family?
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Which one?
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Hubert "The Hammer" Hammerschmidt.
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How were the hearings?
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Some people are going to prison. Not me.
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- Brother Calvin.
- Downtown Randolph Brackenbrown.
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- There he is.
- Here I am.
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Soggie Auggie Sharfenheimer.
The gang's all here.
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Calvin, no chefs at the sacred circle.
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They're supposed to stay at the tents.
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Can I keep him? The liquor pitcher's
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all sweaty; I don't want to hold it.
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Let's have a taste.
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The cocktail will decide his fate.
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Oh, uh, okay.
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Mmm. Exquisite. He can stay.
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Why does your chef look so familiar?
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Was he working the omelet
station at your last sex party?
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- What?
- No. Bob's a burger man.
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Well, those were good omelets.
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And a hell of a sex party.
Just really well-organized.
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I went a bit more upscale
with my private chef.
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I brought Sergio, from Sergio.
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- Heard of it.
- Me, too.
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He's making llama because
I only eat llama now.
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- Oh, enough about the llama!
- More llama drama?
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Mr. I brought a live llama
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can't seem to talk about anything else.
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- You're gonna slaughter it here?
- No.
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For every one that I
eat, I adopt a live one.
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- Some people don't get it.
- Yeah, I don't get it.
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- I'm one of those people.
- Sergio gets it.
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Well, what do you say,
fellas, shall we, uh,
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tell the chefs to start cooking?
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We'll have our feast, then
let out our inner beast.
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Feast and beast.
I love that they rhyme.
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Not bad, burger-meister. I
saw Randolph eyeing my dinner.
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- He barely touched his llama.
- Oh. Thanks.
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What are you doing,
cleaning? Pfft... square.
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Yup.
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I just took a bunch
of drugs, Bob. A bunch.
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All mixed together in
a cast-iron cauldron
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that we heated over the fire.
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That's how people do drugs.
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That seems to make
sense for what this is.
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- Can you do my face paint?
- Uh, sure.
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- Wha... what's this for?
- Tradition! Ritual!
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Make me look like Simon Lebon
in "Hungry Like the Wolf."
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I'm just gonna... do a stripe.
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Oh, you're moving. So
that... that looks good.
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Feeling strong. Very strong.
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Whoa. Speaking of
strong. Geez, this is...
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It's... I think it's about to rain.
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- Uh, do you... do you feel drops?
- It's starting, Bob.
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It's starting.
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So, this is a storm, I think.
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The one you said wasn't gonna happen?
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I love electronic dance music!
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Great.
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Still nothing from your father.
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How's he even supposed to
grill burgers in a storm like this?
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00:06:05,639 --> 00:06:08,350
When you don't listen to Scotty Baggs,
you end up with soggy buns.
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He's on a camping
weekend with rich people.
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I assume there are butlers that hold
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umbrellas over all the buns.
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Speaking of buns, why are
we not eating post-dinner,
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pre-bedtime snacks right now?
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My hand keeps doing this,
but there's nothing in it.
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I'll go get something.
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I'll go with you so
it's not just crackers.
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- No offense.
- What?
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We had carrots that one time.
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Dad left a lot of bar things.
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- It's like we live in a nightclub now.
- Yeah.
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Your dad was Sir Mix-a-lologist last night.
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It was quite the cocktail party.
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If you like a cocktail
party where it's just you
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- and the person making drinks.
- Are those a real thing?
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00:06:36,756 --> 00:06:38,942
I thought cocktail parties were
just in movies and TV shows.
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Oh, yeah, someone invites
you to their house,
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and they made snacks
and they made a playlist
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and you have to pretend
you like their music.
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You'll go to them when
you're a little older.
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It's how adults socialize.
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Until they have kids.
Then you don't do anything.
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I don't understand, why is
it called a cocktail party?
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Why isn't it called
a "hanging out and talking" party?
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Is that what you guys are doing?
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'Cause the snacks are... Taking a while.
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Snacks are coming, they're coming.
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They call 'em cocktail parties
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00:07:01,405 --> 00:07:03,300
because some grown-ups
have a drink to loosen up.
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00:07:03,324 --> 00:07:05,695
But don't have too many 'cause
then you don't get invited back.
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00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:07,595
And don't monopolize the conversation,
199
00:07:07,620 --> 00:07:09,431
don't stay too late,
don't get there too early.
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00:07:09,455 --> 00:07:11,141
Whoa, whoa, whoa, should
I be writing this down?
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00:07:11,165 --> 00:07:13,023
- You're freaking me out.
- Don't wear brown and black.
202
00:07:13,048 --> 00:07:16,001
- Never look into someone's eyes.
- Bring your own fork and briefcase.
203
00:07:16,026 --> 00:07:17,420
- Of course. Everyone knows that.
- Huh. Huh. Huh...
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00:07:17,445 --> 00:07:19,190
And leave one of your shoes as a gift.
205
00:07:19,215 --> 00:07:20,734
- But you got to hide it.
- Aah! I don't get it.
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00:07:20,758 --> 00:07:22,238
How does everyone know all this stuff?
207
00:07:22,263 --> 00:07:25,413
No, no, no, don't listen to
them, they're messing with you.
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00:07:25,438 --> 00:07:26,897
But I can show you
everything you need to know.
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00:07:26,922 --> 00:07:28,764
You want to have a mocktail party?
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00:07:28,808 --> 00:07:30,808
Kids, meet me in the
living room in ten minutes.
211
00:07:30,833 --> 00:07:31,833
Wear something nice.
212
00:07:31,858 --> 00:07:33,837
How much cleavage is too much cleavage?
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00:07:33,862 --> 00:07:35,070
- Your call.
- Ooh...
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00:07:35,231 --> 00:07:36,605
This'll probably be just as fancy
215
00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:38,463
as the party your dad's at right now.
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00:07:40,444 --> 00:07:42,486
Oh, my god, oh, my god.
217
00:07:43,382 --> 00:07:46,467
Huh? What?!
218
00:07:50,830 --> 00:07:52,538
Mr. Fischoeder, people are leaving.
219
00:07:52,563 --> 00:07:54,684
Boats are leaving. They...
they took the llama,
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00:07:54,709 --> 00:07:56,458
- and they left!
- Bob! Bob!
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00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:58,085
You're saying too many words.
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00:07:58,110 --> 00:08:00,523
Close this part, shake that part.
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00:08:00,548 --> 00:08:03,090
Look at Hubert, he's
all hips. And drugs.
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00:08:03,115 --> 00:08:04,921
Mr. Fischoeder, I'm worried
225
00:08:04,946 --> 00:08:06,113
that this storm is gonna get worse,
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00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:08,883
and we're on an island,
and our phones don't work.
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00:08:08,908 --> 00:08:11,492
- And that's bad.
- No. That's good.
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00:08:11,517 --> 00:08:12,892
That's why we're here.
229
00:08:12,917 --> 00:08:14,203
You just don't have
enough face paint on.
230
00:08:14,228 --> 00:08:15,311
It keeps you dry.
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00:08:15,396 --> 00:08:18,017
Haven't you noticed I'm completely
dry? Have you asked yourself
232
00:08:18,042 --> 00:08:19,759
- how that's possible?
- Uh-oh.
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00:08:24,465 --> 00:08:26,568
You are all very stoned.
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00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:28,301
Okay, I'm gonna go pack everything
235
00:08:28,326 --> 00:08:30,363
onto your boat and then we should go.
236
00:08:30,388 --> 00:08:32,687
And everyone else should go soon, too.
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00:08:32,712 --> 00:08:35,247
I will be right back
to get you and whoever
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00:08:35,291 --> 00:08:37,666
wants to live tonight, okay?
239
00:08:39,231 --> 00:08:41,898
Oh, boy, tent not looking good.
240
00:08:44,026 --> 00:08:46,360
And the boats are sinking.
241
00:08:47,045 --> 00:08:48,669
Mr. Fischoeder?
242
00:08:49,136 --> 00:08:50,385
Hello?
243
00:08:51,232 --> 00:08:53,232
M-Mr. Fischoeder?
244
00:08:55,204 --> 00:08:57,496
Is that blood? Oh, my god.
245
00:08:57,521 --> 00:08:58,938
- Bob.
- Huh?
246
00:08:59,065 --> 00:09:00,268
- Turn off your light.
- What?
247
00:09:00,293 --> 00:09:03,294
- Why?
- Shh. He's hunting us.
248
00:09:03,319 --> 00:09:05,194
He took a bite out of Randolph's arm.
249
00:09:05,237 --> 00:09:06,774
- Who took a bite?
- Hubert.
250
00:09:06,799 --> 00:09:08,586
He's gone completely wild.
251
00:09:08,611 --> 00:09:10,194
He's turned into some sort of animal
252
00:09:10,219 --> 00:09:11,469
with Eddie Bauer pants on.
253
00:09:11,494 --> 00:09:13,781
Okay, well, I have to
tell you about your boat.
254
00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:17,998
- Oh...
- Shh.
255
00:09:23,370 --> 00:09:25,662
Oh, my god!
256
00:09:29,629 --> 00:09:32,365
This is awful. This is so, so awful.
257
00:09:32,390 --> 00:09:34,450
We're trapped on this island with that?
258
00:09:34,475 --> 00:09:35,946
Why did I say yes to this?
259
00:09:35,971 --> 00:09:38,037
- Ugh, this is gonna get infected.
- Shush.
260
00:09:38,062 --> 00:09:40,296
Calvin, you don't have
any antibiotics, do you?
261
00:09:40,336 --> 00:09:43,956
No. Seems like kind of a nerdy
thing to pack on a boys' weekend.
262
00:09:43,981 --> 00:09:45,711
Ah, it hurts. Aah!
263
00:09:45,736 --> 00:09:47,213
What's the point of taking drugs
264
00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:49,297
if you feel pain when
someone bites your shoulder?
265
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:50,591
Should we make our way to the boats?
266
00:09:50,616 --> 00:09:52,134
This has been fun, but, Bob, I think
267
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:53,742
you were saying something
about packing up?
268
00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:55,648
There's no boats, Mr. Fischoeder.
269
00:09:55,673 --> 00:09:57,139
That's what I was trying to tell you.
270
00:09:57,164 --> 00:09:58,766
They're all gone or they're smashed.
271
00:09:58,791 --> 00:10:00,468
- What? Why didn't you tell me?
- I did!
272
00:10:00,493 --> 00:10:03,767
- You were on drugs.
- Don't blame the drugs!
273
00:10:03,792 --> 00:10:06,242
- What boats are gone? Who left?
- A lot of people.
274
00:10:06,267 --> 00:10:08,693
The private chefs are all
gone, I think. Other people.
275
00:10:08,718 --> 00:10:11,256
They saw the storm and they
left 'cause they're smart.
276
00:10:11,281 --> 00:10:12,989
- Who's this guy?
- He's sober.
277
00:10:13,014 --> 00:10:15,249
- Oh...
- Shush.
278
00:10:17,007 --> 00:10:19,048
- Aah!
- Run!
279
00:10:19,831 --> 00:10:21,038
You're not an animal, Hubert!
280
00:10:21,063 --> 00:10:22,146
You're an episcopalian.
281
00:10:29,493 --> 00:10:32,133
You know what we need? A
couple more ring-a-dings.
282
00:10:32,219 --> 00:10:34,112
Looking nice.
283
00:10:34,137 --> 00:10:36,053
Looking very sophisticated.
284
00:10:36,078 --> 00:10:38,365
Gene, liking the shorts
with dad's jacket.
285
00:10:38,390 --> 00:10:40,182
Mm-hmm. Business dad-ual.
286
00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:42,531
And I invented a new way to tie a tie.
287
00:10:42,556 --> 00:10:43,936
It makes the old way look stupid.
288
00:10:43,961 --> 00:10:46,437
All right, now that we
have some drinks in hand,
289
00:10:46,462 --> 00:10:48,633
let's do some role-play.
Tina, stand there.
290
00:10:48,658 --> 00:10:49,978
- You're the host.
- I'm the host?
291
00:10:50,003 --> 00:10:51,211
Just for this, just for this.
292
00:10:51,236 --> 00:10:53,638
Okay, I'm the first guest
to arrive. You ready?
293
00:10:53,663 --> 00:10:55,579
- Ding-dong.
- Hello.
294
00:10:55,604 --> 00:10:58,268
Hi, honey. Mwah. I'm
30 minutes early. Mwah.
295
00:10:58,293 --> 00:10:59,895
Here's a bottle of wine that
someone gave me as a gift.
296
00:10:59,919 --> 00:11:01,355
Is that what you're gonna wear tonight?
297
00:11:01,379 --> 00:11:02,939
- Um...
- Aren't you gonna put on music?
298
00:11:02,964 --> 00:11:04,733
- Oh...
- Can I help out with snacks or anything?
299
00:11:04,757 --> 00:11:06,360
- What?
- No? Okay, can I see what you have
300
00:11:06,384 --> 00:11:07,778
-in the fridge? I haven't had dinner.
-Wait...
301
00:11:07,802 --> 00:11:09,238
Also, I blocked your
neighbor's driveway.
302
00:11:09,262 --> 00:11:11,217
- He's cool, right? And scene.
- Oh, uh...
303
00:11:11,242 --> 00:11:12,699
Do's and don'ts. Call 'em out.
304
00:11:12,724 --> 00:11:14,118
What did I do right,
what did I do wrong?
305
00:11:14,143 --> 00:11:15,143
Um, you showed up early.
306
00:11:15,168 --> 00:11:17,040
- That's nice.
- No, no, no.
307
00:11:17,065 --> 00:11:18,997
Showing up 30 minutes early is worse
308
00:11:19,022 --> 00:11:20,987
- than showing up an hour late.
- Aah!
309
00:11:21,011 --> 00:11:22,645
Just take the time
they tell you to arrive,
310
00:11:22,670 --> 00:11:24,188
add 30 minutes, and you're good.
311
00:11:24,213 --> 00:11:26,345
- What else? Call 'em out!
- Don't be like how you were.
312
00:11:26,370 --> 00:11:28,259
More specifically. What did I do wrong?
313
00:11:28,284 --> 00:11:29,366
Everything after hello?
314
00:11:29,391 --> 00:11:31,571
Correct. Let's do another one,
let's do another one.
315
00:11:31,596 --> 00:11:33,471
Louise, stand here. We're both guests.
316
00:11:33,496 --> 00:11:34,828
You're waiting for the bathroom.
317
00:11:34,853 --> 00:11:36,018
I come up behind you.
318
00:11:36,043 --> 00:11:37,265
Hi, I'm drunk.
319
00:11:37,290 --> 00:11:39,582
Will you hold up my hair while I puke?
320
00:11:39,607 --> 00:11:41,644
- And scene.
- She seems fun.
321
00:11:42,321 --> 00:11:44,128
Okay, let's stop for a minute.
322
00:11:44,275 --> 00:11:46,191
I can't see where we're going.
323
00:11:46,216 --> 00:11:47,711
But I don't want to use the lamp
324
00:11:47,736 --> 00:11:49,319
because the bitey guy might see us.
325
00:11:49,344 --> 00:11:52,011
- The "bitey guy" has a name, Bob.
- Ugh.
326
00:11:52,036 --> 00:11:53,471
God, I wish we had our guns.
327
00:11:53,496 --> 00:11:55,224
Not to kill him, just to
shoot him a little bit.
328
00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:56,981
Yeah, why don't you have your guns?
329
00:11:57,006 --> 00:11:58,703
Uh, I thought that was part of your
330
00:11:58,728 --> 00:12:00,682
- group dynamic.
- No guns on the island.
331
00:12:00,707 --> 00:12:04,042
Our insurance covers us for
drugs or guns. But not both.
332
00:12:04,067 --> 00:12:05,689
Can we stay here? Are we hidden?
333
00:12:05,714 --> 00:12:07,103
- Uh, I think we're hidden.
- Found you.
334
00:12:07,128 --> 00:12:08,980
- Ah!
- Yeah, we could hear
335
00:12:09,005 --> 00:12:10,483
your voices all the way from over there.
336
00:12:10,507 --> 00:12:12,689
- You two get bit at all? Still just me?
- Stop asking that!
337
00:12:12,714 --> 00:12:14,564
Mosquitoes love me, too.
338
00:12:14,589 --> 00:12:16,525
-What was that? Did you fart, Bob?
-No.
339
00:12:16,550 --> 00:12:19,533
That was a twig snapping.
Farts don't sound like that.
340
00:12:19,558 --> 00:12:20,765
Some do.
341
00:12:23,311 --> 00:12:24,932
- That hurts!
- Told you.
342
00:12:24,957 --> 00:12:27,782
- Stop biting us, Hubert!
- And put some clothes on.
343
00:12:30,628 --> 00:12:33,212
All right. Uh, I think
we have to go on offense.
344
00:12:33,355 --> 00:12:35,147
If we keep running, he's just gonna keep
345
00:12:35,172 --> 00:12:36,650
jumping out of the bushes and biting us.
346
00:12:36,675 --> 00:12:38,720
- "Us"? Have you been bitten?
- Oh, hush.
347
00:12:38,745 --> 00:12:41,653
You were pretty pissy about some
of us talking about our bites just,
348
00:12:41,677 --> 00:12:43,298
- like, a moment ago.
- Listen to Bob. I'm
349
00:12:43,322 --> 00:12:45,150
- nominating him for captain.
- What?
350
00:12:45,175 --> 00:12:46,907
He's the least drugged-up of all of us.
351
00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:48,321
- Who's Bob?
- Me.
352
00:12:48,346 --> 00:12:50,995
But I don't want to be
captain. I just want to live.
353
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:52,634
Listen, this Hubert guy.
354
00:12:52,659 --> 00:12:54,534
Ca-can we catch him somehow? Trap him?
355
00:12:54,559 --> 00:12:56,392
If we can tie him up
till the drugs wear off
356
00:12:56,417 --> 00:12:58,061
then all we'll have to
deal with is the storm.
357
00:12:58,086 --> 00:13:01,046
That gives a slightly better
chance of surviving the night.
358
00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:03,363
Trapping Hubert. Hmm... not bad.
359
00:13:03,388 --> 00:13:06,515
- True. Good idea, captain.
- To set a trap we need bait.
360
00:13:06,540 --> 00:13:08,813
- Not it!
- Wait, what?
361
00:13:08,838 --> 00:13:10,681
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
362
00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:11,872
Bad plan, bad plan!
363
00:13:11,897 --> 00:13:13,522
Just a little more beef on the eyebrows
364
00:13:13,547 --> 00:13:15,839
to make him seem extra
tasty, and I think we're done.
365
00:13:15,864 --> 00:13:19,324
I'm giving him a beef
mustache on top of his real mustache.
366
00:13:19,349 --> 00:13:21,540
Clever! And the trap is baited.
367
00:13:21,565 --> 00:13:24,603
No, your captain says no.
No human bait, no human bait.
368
00:13:24,628 --> 00:13:26,522
Sorry, Bob, the captain
doesn't have voting rights.
369
00:13:26,547 --> 00:13:30,071
- I'll never forget you, captain.
- Oh, my god.
370
00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:35,931
Guys, please untie
me. I don't like this.
371
00:13:35,956 --> 00:13:38,650
Don't worry, Bob.
We're not gonna let Hubert eat you.
372
00:13:38,675 --> 00:13:40,939
I mean, not all of you.
Just nibble long enough
373
00:13:40,964 --> 00:13:42,923
so that we can grab him and tie him up.
374
00:13:42,948 --> 00:13:44,114
Ten to 15 bites Max.
375
00:13:44,139 --> 00:13:45,509
It's just, the "not it" thing.
376
00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:46,617
I wasn't ready.
377
00:13:46,642 --> 00:13:48,845
Should we count one,
two, three? Do-over?
378
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:50,723
- One, two, three, not it!
- Damn it.
379
00:13:50,748 --> 00:13:52,247
Okay, let's review.
380
00:13:52,272 --> 00:13:54,032
How many drinks do you
have at a cocktail party?
381
00:13:54,057 --> 00:13:55,876
- Depends on your body weight?
- And zodiac sign.
382
00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:58,402
- Your age plus one.
- No, no, no, two and a half.
383
00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:00,970
First one loosens you
up. Second one, nurse it.
384
00:14:00,995 --> 00:14:03,663
Last one, put it down, don't
finish it, you don't need it.
385
00:14:03,688 --> 00:14:05,104
But don't put in on the stereo
386
00:14:05,129 --> 00:14:06,773
or any furniture where it's
gonna leave a little ring.
387
00:14:06,938 --> 00:14:08,604
Make a big show of
looking for a coaster.
388
00:14:08,629 --> 00:14:10,189
- What's a coaster?
- We don't have any.
389
00:14:10,214 --> 00:14:12,589
But some people do. Some people
care about their furniture.
390
00:14:12,614 --> 00:14:14,447
But where... where do I put this?
391
00:14:14,472 --> 00:14:15,680
I'm pouring mine in the plant.
392
00:14:15,705 --> 00:14:17,057
No, no, plants don't like sweet drinks.
393
00:14:17,082 --> 00:14:18,818
- Just hard liquor?
- Tina, hold onto it.
394
00:14:18,843 --> 00:14:20,009
Pretend it's your second.
395
00:14:20,034 --> 00:14:21,314
Okay, let me think, what's next?
396
00:14:21,339 --> 00:14:23,547
Ooh, I'm gonna throw my
keys into the key bowl.
397
00:14:23,572 --> 00:14:25,267
I think it's something
grown-ups do when
398
00:14:25,292 --> 00:14:26,407
they want to meet Sigourney Weaver.
399
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:29,556
I'm loosening my tie.
Dad's missing a wild night.
400
00:14:30,646 --> 00:14:32,946
How did you tie this so well?
401
00:14:32,971 --> 00:14:34,250
You're all so stoned.
402
00:14:34,275 --> 00:14:36,212
I had a friendship bracelet period.
403
00:14:36,237 --> 00:14:37,657
Calvin doesn't wear his.
404
00:14:37,682 --> 00:14:39,556
It just doesn't really
go with anything I own.
405
00:14:39,581 --> 00:14:41,591
Quiet.
406
00:14:41,616 --> 00:14:42,991
- Quiet.
- He sounds hungrier.
407
00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:45,196
Guys, guys, le-let's
do this differently.
408
00:14:45,221 --> 00:14:47,347
May-maybe we dig a
hole? Put a tarp across?
409
00:14:47,372 --> 00:14:49,580
Oh, but who wants to dig a hole?
410
00:14:49,605 --> 00:14:52,788
I should never have come here.
I just needed a new condenser.
411
00:14:52,813 --> 00:14:54,396
Hmm...
412
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:57,271
I'm gonna go, uh, put
some more meat on him.
413
00:14:57,296 --> 00:14:58,806
I think we missed a few spots.
414
00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:01,194
Give him a beard. To
go with the mustache.
415
00:15:01,219 --> 00:15:02,505
Here I am,
putting meat on you.
416
00:15:02,529 --> 00:15:04,454
- What are you doing?
- I'm taking your wallet
417
00:15:04,478 --> 00:15:06,173
- in case he kills you.
- What?
418
00:15:06,198 --> 00:15:08,032
Kidding. I'm untying you.
419
00:15:08,057 --> 00:15:10,620
And some meat there,
and some more meat here.
420
00:15:10,645 --> 00:15:12,061
Thank you. But why?
421
00:15:12,086 --> 00:15:14,545
I don't know. Guess
my buzz is wearing off.
422
00:15:14,570 --> 00:15:16,251
And someone needs to cook
breakfast in the morning.
423
00:15:18,426 --> 00:15:19,967
Now Hubert sounds horny?
424
00:15:19,992 --> 00:15:23,535
- Go, go, run.
- Ah! You didn't untie my feet.
425
00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:25,268
- I thought it would be funny.
- Aah!
426
00:15:25,293 --> 00:15:27,502
The bait's getting away!
The bait's getting away!
427
00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:29,087
- Calvin?
- Sorry, fellas!
428
00:15:29,112 --> 00:15:31,349
He's my chef. Food before dudes.
429
00:15:31,374 --> 00:15:33,583
-Let's get 'em! We'll use both as bait!
-Yes!
430
00:15:33,608 --> 00:15:36,651
You hear that, Calvin? You
just joined d'bait club.
431
00:15:36,676 --> 00:15:38,657
Oh, that's good.
432
00:15:39,454 --> 00:15:41,215
Oh. Oh, boy.
433
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:42,569
They seemed really ticked off.
434
00:15:42,594 --> 00:15:44,802
I hope they don't vote
me out of the club.
435
00:15:44,827 --> 00:15:46,994
The kicking-out ceremony is brutal.
436
00:15:47,019 --> 00:15:48,268
- So much singing.
- Sorry.
437
00:15:48,293 --> 00:15:51,500
But also, this club
doesn't seem great, so...
438
00:15:51,525 --> 00:15:54,164
I can see how the biting thing
has been a bit of a downer.
439
00:15:54,189 --> 00:15:57,190
No, all of it. Your
people. And the way you are.
440
00:15:57,215 --> 00:15:59,799
- And the things you do.
- Quietly run the world?
441
00:15:59,824 --> 00:16:02,505
Really well, with no problems?
We actually have an award party.
442
00:16:02,530 --> 00:16:05,448
We all get trophies. We're gonna
need a chef for that, too, Bob.
443
00:16:05,473 --> 00:16:06,859
Oh, don't worry, it's
a different island.
444
00:16:06,884 --> 00:16:08,120
Oh, my goodness, the boathouse!
445
00:16:08,145 --> 00:16:09,554
- What boathouse?
- The one on the other side
446
00:16:09,579 --> 00:16:11,431
of the island that has a boat in it.
447
00:16:11,456 --> 00:16:12,595
- You're just remembering this now?
- Yes.
448
00:16:12,620 --> 00:16:14,559
Well, it's old. No one uses it.
449
00:16:14,584 --> 00:16:16,751
And, uh... and there may
be just a dinghy there,
450
00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:19,312
but still, worth a shot? Row home?
Get to my house tonight
451
00:16:19,336 --> 00:16:21,179
in time for a nightcap?
452
00:16:21,204 --> 00:16:23,633
I don't think we should go out
in the open ocean in a dinghy.
453
00:16:23,658 --> 00:16:26,154
- In... a bad storm.
- Aw, the weather's calming down.
454
00:16:26,179 --> 00:16:28,513
And it's not exactly the open ocean.
455
00:16:28,538 --> 00:16:31,039
Yeah, it is. We're, like, an
hour away from the mainland.
456
00:16:31,064 --> 00:16:32,285
More like five minutes.
457
00:16:32,310 --> 00:16:34,978
Maybe 15 in the dinghy.
Depends on who's rowing. Not it.
458
00:16:35,003 --> 00:16:37,582
What? Then why did it take us so long?
459
00:16:37,607 --> 00:16:39,287
You've never had a
secret island, have you?
460
00:16:39,317 --> 00:16:41,484
You can't blindfold someone and
then go five minutes away.
461
00:16:41,509 --> 00:16:43,551
- I did a few laps.
- Oh, my god.
462
00:16:43,576 --> 00:16:46,204
Well, do you... Do you think we could
fit everybody on the dinghy?
463
00:16:46,229 --> 00:16:48,802
Yeah. Anyway, I think I know the way.
464
00:16:48,827 --> 00:16:50,221
Should we talk and walk, but quietly?
465
00:16:50,245 --> 00:16:52,537
Because of the multiple
parties hunting us?
466
00:16:52,580 --> 00:16:55,298
Oh, and while we're walking, maybe,
uh, you can think of a reasonable
467
00:16:55,323 --> 00:16:56,863
partial refund for me
since it looks like you
468
00:16:56,888 --> 00:16:58,873
- won't be cooking breakfast.
- Ugh.
469
00:17:00,607 --> 00:17:02,148
God, I hate that he does that.
470
00:17:02,173 --> 00:17:04,984
No boathouse there. No boathouse there.
471
00:17:05,009 --> 00:17:06,838
I also hate when you do that.
472
00:17:06,863 --> 00:17:09,197
It makes me think that you
don't know where we're going.
473
00:17:09,222 --> 00:17:10,972
Am I thinking of the
right boathouse? Darn.
474
00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:12,408
And now it's starting to seem like
475
00:17:12,433 --> 00:17:13,970
- something I made up.
- What?!
476
00:17:13,995 --> 00:17:16,204
Well, we had a nice walk, anyway.
477
00:17:16,229 --> 00:17:17,895
- Oh, there it is!
- Oh.
478
00:17:17,939 --> 00:17:19,582
I'm pretty sure this is the boathouse
479
00:17:19,607 --> 00:17:21,774
with the dinghy inside.
Wait, was it a dinghy?
480
00:17:21,860 --> 00:17:24,518
Or was it a disco? Now,
that was a cool boathouse.
481
00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:25,755
- Hey!
- What the...
482
00:17:25,780 --> 00:17:28,261
- Quit it! - Ow!
- Geez, Samuel, too far.
483
00:17:28,286 --> 00:17:29,577
Oh, I thought we were doing
484
00:17:29,602 --> 00:17:31,427
the whole whacky-whacky-stick-thing.
485
00:17:31,452 --> 00:17:33,744
Nope? Okay, well, "sorry."
486
00:17:33,769 --> 00:17:35,098
No need. I didn't even feel it.
487
00:17:35,123 --> 00:17:36,539
You didn't get hit, I did.
488
00:17:36,564 --> 00:17:37,855
Oh, well,
489
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:39,815
- then apology accepted.
- Oh, my god.
490
00:17:42,261 --> 00:17:44,456
Guys, I really don't like being tied up.
491
00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:46,067
I tried to express that earlier
492
00:17:46,092 --> 00:17:47,403
when you tied me up the first time.
493
00:17:47,428 --> 00:17:48,969
Tied up twice in the same day.
494
00:17:48,994 --> 00:17:50,488
Is that a record for you? Not for me.
495
00:17:50,513 --> 00:17:52,157
And you people are not listening to me.
496
00:17:52,182 --> 00:17:53,951
There's a boat in the
boathouse. We can use it
497
00:17:53,975 --> 00:17:55,410
to get off the island.
498
00:17:55,435 --> 00:17:57,268
The bait's trying to trick us again.
499
00:17:57,293 --> 00:17:58,334
Sorry, bait.
500
00:17:58,359 --> 00:18:00,318
Might. There might be a boat in there.
501
00:18:00,343 --> 00:18:01,624
Stop saying that!
502
00:18:01,649 --> 00:18:03,232
Can someone just go and look inside?
503
00:18:03,257 --> 00:18:05,086
- All the way over there?
- I'll go.
504
00:18:05,111 --> 00:18:06,856
It's the least bitten thing I can do.
505
00:18:06,881 --> 00:18:08,840
I can't believe you were
gonna leave us, Calvin.
506
00:18:08,865 --> 00:18:11,365
And to think, I was going
to let you taste my llama.
507
00:18:11,390 --> 00:18:13,219
We weren't. We were gonna get everybody.
508
00:18:13,244 --> 00:18:16,347
- Yeah, everybody... ish.
- It's here! I call front!
509
00:18:16,372 --> 00:18:18,952
- Wonderful. I call not-next-to-Auggie.
- Hey.
510
00:18:18,977 --> 00:18:21,644
Sorry. It's just, you
know how you are in boats.
511
00:18:21,669 --> 00:18:23,873
Okay, come on, Calvin and Calvin's chef.
512
00:18:23,898 --> 00:18:26,649
- You can hop to the boathouse, right?
- Bye-bye, Babylon island.
513
00:18:26,674 --> 00:18:28,633
See you next year! And
good luck to you, Hubert,
514
00:18:28,658 --> 00:18:29,658
wherever you are.
515
00:18:29,683 --> 00:18:32,215
You'll be getting a bill
from my dermatologist!
516
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:34,949
No, no, guys. Y-You
can't leave your friend.
517
00:18:34,974 --> 00:18:36,368
- Mmm, "friend"?
- I don't know why we're
518
00:18:36,392 --> 00:18:38,329
- calling him a friend.
- Professional acquaintance.
519
00:18:38,353 --> 00:18:39,644
I am married to his sister.
520
00:18:39,669 --> 00:18:41,627
But can we get going?
Discuss it on the boat?
521
00:18:41,652 --> 00:18:43,268
You... you can't leave Hubert.
522
00:18:43,293 --> 00:18:44,417
He could get hurt.
523
00:18:44,442 --> 00:18:46,604
Or possibly die. You would all feel bad.
524
00:18:46,629 --> 00:18:48,838
I won't feel that bad.
Because I will be in my bed.
525
00:18:48,863 --> 00:18:51,110
You got to make some
tough decisions sometimes.
526
00:18:51,135 --> 00:18:52,926
You got to be strong, burger guy.
527
00:18:52,951 --> 00:18:54,351
That's what this island's all about.
528
00:18:54,410 --> 00:18:55,493
- Mm-hmm.
- Sure.
529
00:18:55,518 --> 00:18:57,555
You guys think a little
compassion is weak?
530
00:18:57,580 --> 00:18:58,914
A little decency?
531
00:18:58,939 --> 00:19:01,065
I-It might not be easy,
but it's definitely strong.
532
00:19:01,090 --> 00:19:02,631
That-that's what I think.
533
00:19:02,656 --> 00:19:04,707
Should we just start backing
towards the boathouse?
534
00:19:04,732 --> 00:19:07,649
Nod and step, nod and step.
535
00:19:07,674 --> 00:19:11,133
I think the self-righteous,
high-horsed burger man is right.
536
00:19:11,158 --> 00:19:12,820
It would be wrong, and not strong,
537
00:19:12,853 --> 00:19:14,438
for us to leave Hubert behind.
538
00:19:14,463 --> 00:19:15,463
- Hey. - Whoa.
- Oh.
539
00:19:15,576 --> 00:19:18,243
And I have an idea that I hate,
540
00:19:18,268 --> 00:19:20,309
but you will all like.
541
00:19:20,334 --> 00:19:22,247
He's right. I really do like it.
542
00:19:22,272 --> 00:19:24,146
- He's just good bait.
- I know.
543
00:19:24,171 --> 00:19:25,378
I kind of want to eat him.
544
00:19:25,403 --> 00:19:27,085
Third tie-up of the day, Bob.
545
00:19:27,110 --> 00:19:28,754
- You've tied my tie-up record.
- Thank you.
546
00:19:31,155 --> 00:19:32,985
Oh, here he comes. And now he's nude.
547
00:19:33,010 --> 00:19:34,634
He's in good shape, isn't he?
548
00:19:34,659 --> 00:19:36,844
Everyone ready? Everyone
ready with the tarp?
549
00:19:36,971 --> 00:19:38,179
You guys don't look ready.
550
00:19:38,204 --> 00:19:40,413
- Where is the tarp?
- Oh, right, the tarp.
551
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,517
- Where did we put that?
- Oh, my god.
552
00:19:42,542 --> 00:19:44,520
- Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh.
- What are you doing in here?
553
00:19:44,544 --> 00:19:46,730
We're practicing how to get
out of a boring conversation.
554
00:19:46,754 --> 00:19:49,208
Which is actually really
fun. You should come back.
555
00:19:49,233 --> 00:19:50,733
I can't, mom, I can't.
556
00:19:50,758 --> 00:19:52,486
I don't know how I'm gonna
remember all this stuff.
557
00:19:52,510 --> 00:19:53,988
I'm never gonna be able to be an adult.
558
00:19:54,012 --> 00:19:55,697
A-And no one is ever gonna want me
559
00:19:55,722 --> 00:19:56,851
at their cocktail party.
560
00:19:56,876 --> 00:19:58,116
How am I gonna remember to come
561
00:19:58,141 --> 00:20:00,159
a half-hour late, use a
coaster, don't double-dip,
562
00:20:00,184 --> 00:20:01,578
ask people questions about themselves,
563
00:20:01,602 --> 00:20:02,765
two and a half drink Max,
564
00:20:02,790 --> 00:20:04,706
make sure the bathroom door is locked
565
00:20:04,731 --> 00:20:06,542
before you pee, thank the host
and don't be the last one out?
566
00:20:06,566 --> 00:20:08,607
It's too much. I can't remember it all!
567
00:20:08,632 --> 00:20:10,962
Tina, that was everything
from top to bottom.
568
00:20:10,987 --> 00:20:12,524
- You did it.
- I did?
569
00:20:12,549 --> 00:20:14,132
Did the party move in here?
570
00:20:14,157 --> 00:20:16,302
- Yeah, this is where the cool kids are.
- Where are they hiding?
571
00:20:16,326 --> 00:20:18,261
Now teach us how to
make nice with the cops
572
00:20:18,286 --> 00:20:19,471
when they come about the noise.
573
00:20:19,495 --> 00:20:21,157
Ooh, yeah, let's do that one.
574
00:20:21,182 --> 00:20:23,349
I'll be the cops. What's going on here?!
575
00:20:23,374 --> 00:20:25,412
Hello, officer, does this dance
576
00:20:25,437 --> 00:20:27,061
make you want to join the party?
577
00:20:27,086 --> 00:20:29,503
Oh, wow, yeah. That changes everything.
578
00:20:29,528 --> 00:20:32,275
This seems realistic.
579
00:20:36,281 --> 00:20:39,790
- Sorry again about your arm, Bob, is it?
- Yup.
580
00:20:39,814 --> 00:20:41,617
Just send me the doctor's
bill like the rest of them.
581
00:20:41,642 --> 00:20:43,888
Does anyone else want
to go get ice cream?
582
00:20:43,913 --> 00:20:44,954
- Yes.
- Ooh, ice cream.
583
00:20:44,979 --> 00:20:46,394
- Love this guy
- My treat.
584
00:20:46,419 --> 00:20:48,499
- Anyone have any extra pants?
- I'd like to go home.
585
00:20:48,524 --> 00:20:50,044
No. You know where the
secret island is now.
586
00:20:50,068 --> 00:20:51,946
I'm afraid we have to kill you.
587
00:20:51,971 --> 00:20:53,569
- What?!
- Kidding.
588
00:20:53,613 --> 00:20:54,464
But you do have to come for ice cream.
589
00:20:54,489 --> 00:20:56,072
It won't be any fun without you.
590
00:20:56,097 --> 00:20:57,800
Yeah, who will we
fling our sprinkles at?
591
00:20:57,825 --> 00:20:59,325
Oh, great.
592
00:20:59,452 --> 00:21:03,162
♪ Ring-a-ding, ring-a-ding,
ring-a-ding-ding ♪
593
00:21:03,206 --> 00:21:05,623
♪ Ring-a-ding, ring-a-ding ♪
594
00:21:05,708 --> 00:21:07,375
♪ Ring-a-ding-ding ♪
595
00:21:09,837 --> 00:21:11,629
- Ding-dong.
- Hello.
596
00:21:11,756 --> 00:21:14,048
Hi, honey. I'm 30 minutes early.
597
00:21:14,133 --> 00:21:16,070
Here's a bottle of wine that
someone gave me as a gift.
598
00:21:16,094 --> 00:21:17,488
Is that what you're gonna wear tonight?
599
00:21:17,512 --> 00:21:18,752
Aren't you gonna put on music?
600
00:21:18,805 --> 00:21:20,596
Can I help out with snacks or anything?
601
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:23,015
No? Okay. Can I see what
you have in the fridge?
602
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:24,786
I haven't had dinner. Also, I blocked
603
00:21:24,811 --> 00:21:26,571
your neighbor's driveway.
He's cool, right?
604
00:21:26,596 --> 00:21:28,581
He's cool, right? He's cool, right?
605
00:21:28,606 --> 00:21:30,564
He's cool, right? He's cool, right?
606
00:21:30,691 --> 00:21:32,586
He's cool, right? He's cool, right?
607
00:21:32,907 --> 00:21:36,250
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --