1 00:00:05,427 --> 00:00:10,427 - Synced and corrected by ChrisKe - -- for www.addic7ed.com -- 2 00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:22,233 LOUISE: Okay, off to school. 3 00:00:22,258 --> 00:00:24,428 Again. It's like every day with that place. 4 00:00:24,453 --> 00:00:26,671 At least part of the day will be taken up with that assembly. 5 00:00:26,696 --> 00:00:29,579 Right. Assemblies are... always so not boring. 6 00:00:29,598 --> 00:00:31,317 - I love assembling. - What assembly? 7 00:00:31,341 --> 00:00:33,249 It's called the "College Is Cool" assembly. 8 00:00:33,269 --> 00:00:35,660 I-I guess they want us to think college is cool. 9 00:00:35,679 --> 00:00:37,703 Well, then they should have called it "Coolidge." 10 00:00:37,728 --> 00:00:39,164 College? Already? 11 00:00:39,189 --> 00:00:41,076 But you're too young to think about that. 12 00:00:41,101 --> 00:00:42,353 I think college sounds kind of fun. 13 00:00:42,378 --> 00:00:43,769 You get to live in a dorm. 14 00:00:43,794 --> 00:00:45,681 I've always wanted to wear flip-flops in the shower. 15 00:00:45,706 --> 00:00:47,091 You don't need to go off to college. 16 00:00:47,116 --> 00:00:49,485 Stay home with us. Wear flip-flops here. 17 00:00:49,510 --> 00:00:50,767 Our tub is disgusting. 18 00:00:50,786 --> 00:00:52,844 Lin, relax. They're not going today. 19 00:00:52,863 --> 00:00:54,187 It's still a ways off. 20 00:00:54,212 --> 00:00:56,196 Yeah, right. What, like ten years? 21 00:00:56,221 --> 00:00:57,290 - Four years. - Oh, God. 22 00:00:57,315 --> 00:00:58,481 Well, we better head out. 23 00:00:58,506 --> 00:01:00,273 Oh, yeah, don't want to miss a minute. Bye. 24 00:01:00,298 --> 00:01:02,109 - Bye, Mom. - GENE: Bye, Mama. - No, kids, don't go! 25 00:01:02,134 --> 00:01:03,575 Oh, God. Oh, God. 26 00:01:04,171 --> 00:01:05,930 (SIGHS) My babies! 27 00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:08,867 - (HYPERVENTILATING) - Lin. Breathe. 28 00:01:08,892 --> 00:01:10,409 Easy. 29 00:01:10,910 --> 00:01:11,684 (LINDA SIGHS) 30 00:01:11,807 --> 00:01:12,973 Linda? You okay? 31 00:01:12,998 --> 00:01:14,934 You've been making that sound a lot. 32 00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:15,959 Yeah, Teddy. 33 00:01:16,053 --> 00:01:17,869 I'm just thinking about how our children 34 00:01:17,888 --> 00:01:20,365 are gonna leave us one day, and then we'll be all alone. 35 00:01:20,390 --> 00:01:21,847 With each other? 36 00:01:21,872 --> 00:01:22,872 I guess. 37 00:01:22,897 --> 00:01:24,295 Yeah, you'll-you'll still have me. 38 00:01:24,320 --> 00:01:25,730 - And me. - Well, more me. 39 00:01:25,755 --> 00:01:26,587 Yeah, probably more you. 40 00:01:26,730 --> 00:01:28,363 - BOB: Mm. - Eh, I better get going. 41 00:01:28,388 --> 00:01:29,629 Two funerals this weekend. 42 00:01:29,654 --> 00:01:31,238 Oh, was it a murder-suicide? 43 00:01:31,263 --> 00:01:32,694 - Geez. - Teddy. - Sorry, sorry. 44 00:01:32,719 --> 00:01:34,005 My mom got me hooked on Dateline. 45 00:01:34,029 --> 00:01:36,129 Good show. You get to see a lot of the country. 46 00:01:36,154 --> 00:01:38,621 - Um... bye? - Bye! Enjoy your funerals. 47 00:01:38,646 --> 00:01:40,720 - (ENTRY BELL CHIMES) - Hi. Uh, my car broke down. 48 00:01:40,744 --> 00:01:42,911 Can I use your phone to call a tow truck? 49 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,873 Oh, no. Course you can, hon. 50 00:01:44,898 --> 00:01:46,398 I'll get you the number of the tow guy we like. 51 00:01:46,416 --> 00:01:48,791 - Head Shoulders Knees and Tows. - Thank you so much. 52 00:01:48,816 --> 00:01:52,382 My son gave me a fancy phone, but I never remember to charge it. 53 00:01:52,406 --> 00:01:54,846 I'm like that with toilets. I never remember to flush 'em. 54 00:01:54,871 --> 00:01:56,313 Yeah, technology, right? 55 00:01:56,338 --> 00:01:58,662 Oh, hi, I'm at Bob's Burgers on, um... 56 00:01:58,687 --> 00:02:00,607 - On Ocean Avenue. - On Ocean Avenue. 57 00:02:00,632 --> 00:02:03,133 ... on Ocean Avenue, and I need a tow truck. 58 00:02:03,266 --> 00:02:04,818 Yes, my name is Bea Cromwell. 59 00:02:04,843 --> 00:02:07,283 - Huh. Your name sounds familiar. - Really? 60 00:02:07,308 --> 00:02:09,656 Eh, maybe it's just 'cause it reminds me of bees. 61 00:02:09,681 --> 00:02:10,842 (WHISPERING): I'm leaving. Bye, Bob. 62 00:02:10,866 --> 00:02:12,344 - Bye, Linda. - Yeah, it's a gray Toyota. 63 00:02:12,368 --> 00:02:13,494 - Bye, Teddy. - Bye, Teddy. 64 00:02:13,518 --> 00:02:14,593 Don't do a murder-suicide. 65 00:02:14,611 --> 00:02:15,905 - We won't. - Probably won't. 66 00:02:15,929 --> 00:02:17,262 Okay. Thank you. Bye. 67 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:18,691 - Are they coming? - Yes. 68 00:02:18,716 --> 00:02:21,186 They said they're busy today, so it'll be around 45 minutes. 69 00:02:21,210 --> 00:02:22,465 Is it okay if I wait here? 70 00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:24,317 - Sure. Coffee? - Okay. Thanks. 71 00:02:24,342 --> 00:02:26,098 - So, you live nearby? - Um... 72 00:02:26,123 --> 00:02:28,111 - No, Connecticut. - Ooh, Connecticut. 73 00:02:28,136 --> 00:02:30,108 Did you know it's spelled "Connect-icut"? 74 00:02:30,133 --> 00:02:31,466 - Weird, huh? - Uh... yup. 75 00:02:31,491 --> 00:02:32,807 What is that? You print out a whole book? 76 00:02:32,832 --> 00:02:35,191 Uh... yeah, in-in a way, it's a manuscript. 77 00:02:35,216 --> 00:02:36,549 Ooh, you're a writer? 78 00:02:36,574 --> 00:02:38,058 Were you sick of writing in Connecticut? 79 00:02:38,083 --> 00:02:39,365 Too much nice foliage? 80 00:02:39,390 --> 00:02:40,906 Sometimes stuff's just too nice. 81 00:02:40,931 --> 00:02:42,896 No, I'm in town for a reading of one of my books. 82 00:02:42,921 --> 00:02:45,422 Oh, what do you write? Maybe I've read your stuff. 83 00:02:45,459 --> 00:02:46,861 You write any of those audiobooks? 84 00:02:46,885 --> 00:02:50,052 I've written, uh, in a few different genres, actually. 85 00:02:50,072 --> 00:02:52,229 - Kids' books, adult fiction... - (GASPS) 86 00:02:52,254 --> 00:02:55,467 You're Bea Cromwell! I know how I know your name! 87 00:02:55,485 --> 00:02:57,135 You wrote Snail and Newt. 88 00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:59,432 Oh, my God... ! 89 00:02:59,457 --> 00:03:01,973 Yeah, well, that was many, many years ago, yes, yes. 90 00:03:01,992 --> 00:03:04,043 Bob, this is Bea Cromwell. 91 00:03:04,068 --> 00:03:05,471 She wrote all the Snail and Newts. 92 00:03:05,495 --> 00:03:07,547 Uh, yes, I-I heard you screaming. 93 00:03:07,572 --> 00:03:10,021 Uh, our family has really enjoyed your books. 94 00:03:10,046 --> 00:03:12,379 Aw, we must have read Snail and Newt to our kids 95 00:03:12,486 --> 00:03:14,130 100 times when they were little. 96 00:03:14,154 --> 00:03:16,703 "Snail and Newt gaze at the sweet strawberry tart. 97 00:03:16,728 --> 00:03:17,966 "'You don't think they'll be mad 98 00:03:17,991 --> 00:03:19,894 "if we take a nibble, right, Snail?' 99 00:03:19,918 --> 00:03:20,987 "'I don't think so, Newt. 100 00:03:21,011 --> 00:03:22,269 "'What if they left it for us? 101 00:03:22,294 --> 00:03:24,140 "Then it would be rude for us not to eat it, ' 102 00:03:24,164 --> 00:03:24,996 "replied Snail. 103 00:03:24,998 --> 00:03:26,308 "'I hate being rude. 104 00:03:26,333 --> 00:03:27,810 "We'd better eat the whole thing.' 105 00:03:27,834 --> 00:03:29,479 Snail and Newt begin to devour the tart... " 106 00:03:30,181 --> 00:03:31,497 "Finally, there it was, the mysterious treasure 107 00:03:31,521 --> 00:03:34,005 "they had hiked, biked and climbed to find. 108 00:03:34,030 --> 00:03:35,547 "'We're rich, ' said Newt. 109 00:03:35,572 --> 00:03:37,836 "'I do hope we don't get hoity-toity, ' said Snail. 110 00:03:37,861 --> 00:03:40,845 (YAWNING): "'Yes. Hoity or toity, 111 00:03:40,864 --> 00:03:42,681 but not both, ' said Newt." 112 00:03:42,699 --> 00:03:45,792 (BOB SNORING) 113 00:03:45,817 --> 00:03:47,443 - Dad, wake up! - Dad, Dad. - Keep reading. 114 00:03:47,463 --> 00:03:48,997 Ah! Sorry, sorry. I'm awake. 115 00:03:49,022 --> 00:03:51,062 "The pond was quiet. The loudest sound was 116 00:03:51,115 --> 00:03:52,760 "the crickets in the long grass. 117 00:03:53,025 --> 00:03:55,664 "Snail held Newt's hand as the changes gripped him 118 00:03:55,689 --> 00:03:58,650 "and he became a true creature of the under-pond. 119 00:03:58,675 --> 00:04:00,342 (CRYING): "'Newt. 120 00:04:00,367 --> 00:04:03,218 "'Newt, I would give anything to go with you. 121 00:04:03,252 --> 00:04:04,693 If only I could... '" 122 00:04:04,718 --> 00:04:06,531 I'm sorry, Bob. You take it. 123 00:04:06,556 --> 00:04:08,016 "'If only I could.' 124 00:04:08,275 --> 00:04:09,869 "And when Newt couldn't stay in the open air 125 00:04:09,893 --> 00:04:12,602 "for another moment, he let go of Snail 126 00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:14,850 "and slipped under the surface of the pond. 127 00:04:14,875 --> 00:04:16,783 (SNIFFLES): 'Goodbye, Newt.'" 128 00:04:16,808 --> 00:04:17,882 God, it got me, too. 129 00:04:17,976 --> 00:04:19,361 Those are the best books 130 00:04:19,386 --> 00:04:20,697 about snails and newts ever written. 131 00:04:20,721 --> 00:04:22,215 So, is that what your reading is for? 132 00:04:22,239 --> 00:04:24,312 - Did you write another one? - Oh, uh, no. 133 00:04:24,337 --> 00:04:25,891 I-I loved writing those books, 134 00:04:25,916 --> 00:04:28,294 but I wrote them years ago when my kids were little. 135 00:04:28,319 --> 00:04:30,774 I-I write dramatic thrillers now for adults. 136 00:04:30,799 --> 00:04:33,168 Books for adults? I guess that's a thing. 137 00:04:33,193 --> 00:04:34,209 Yes. Yes, it is. 138 00:04:34,234 --> 00:04:36,328 My new book is about a middle-aged librarian 139 00:04:36,353 --> 00:04:38,961 who learns mixed martial arts to infiltrate the mob 140 00:04:38,986 --> 00:04:40,774 and break up a rare books crime ring. 141 00:04:40,799 --> 00:04:42,132 Yeah, that book sounds good. 142 00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:45,400 I didn't really listen to what you said it was about, but, Bea, 143 00:04:45,425 --> 00:04:47,546 the Snail and Newt books were magical. 144 00:04:47,570 --> 00:04:49,100 - Uh, thanks. I don't... - And if you can make 145 00:04:49,124 --> 00:04:51,290 that kind of magic, why would you ever stop? 146 00:04:51,441 --> 00:04:53,793 You think David Copperfield would say, "No more magic" 147 00:04:53,818 --> 00:04:55,796 and never pull out another dove from his blouse? 148 00:04:55,820 --> 00:04:57,608 You're very sweet, Linda, sort of, 149 00:04:57,633 --> 00:05:00,041 but I'm not writing another Snail and Newt book. 150 00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:01,824 But maybe? Maybe? 151 00:05:01,849 --> 00:05:03,878 Am I seeing a nod? Was that a nod? 152 00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:05,715 Lin, you're the one who's nodding. 153 00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:08,502 Yeah, okay. All right, okay. 154 00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:11,016 GENE (SINGSONGY): Pizza day, a-pizza day. 155 00:05:11,041 --> 00:05:12,641 I've been chanting this all morning, 156 00:05:12,666 --> 00:05:15,158 and the teachers love it 'cause it's pizza day. 157 00:05:15,183 --> 00:05:16,915 (GASPS) Ah. Crap. 158 00:05:16,940 --> 00:05:18,106 Huh. Look at Mr. Frond. 159 00:05:18,131 --> 00:05:20,297 Okay. So far I hate this game. 160 00:05:20,322 --> 00:05:22,086 Yeah, I sort of wish there was more to it. 161 00:05:22,111 --> 00:05:24,227 What has he got there? Why is he acting so squirmy? 162 00:05:24,252 --> 00:05:26,286 - Let's go make him squirmier. - But it's pizza day! 163 00:05:26,305 --> 00:05:27,845 It's in the Constitution. 164 00:05:27,870 --> 00:05:28,870 Okay, fine. 165 00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:30,470 - Uh, Mr. Frond? - (GASPS) 166 00:05:30,495 --> 00:05:32,400 What you got behind your back there? 167 00:05:32,425 --> 00:05:33,832 Uh... Nothing. Ah! 168 00:05:33,857 --> 00:05:35,190 Is that cat food? 169 00:05:35,215 --> 00:05:36,323 Yes. That's my lunch. 170 00:05:36,348 --> 00:05:38,056 Adults eat different things. 171 00:05:38,081 --> 00:05:39,989 So we've got that to look forward to. 172 00:05:40,014 --> 00:05:41,255 (GROANING) 173 00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:42,947 GENE: Cat food and a cat toy? 174 00:05:42,972 --> 00:05:44,229 You're really into the culture. 175 00:05:44,248 --> 00:05:46,398 - Yep. Uh-huh. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, Mr. Frond. 176 00:05:46,423 --> 00:05:47,968 - What's going on here? - Nothing! 177 00:05:47,993 --> 00:05:50,212 Okay, then I guess we'll just follow you 178 00:05:50,237 --> 00:05:52,048 and watch you during your eat and play time. 179 00:05:52,072 --> 00:05:53,475 (QUIETLY): All right, all right, listen. 180 00:05:53,499 --> 00:05:55,661 My cat is stuck in the tree in front of school, 181 00:05:55,686 --> 00:05:58,295 and I'm trying to lure him down before anyone finds out. 182 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:00,798 Why is your cat stuck in a tree at school? 183 00:06:00,823 --> 00:06:02,166 (WHISPERING): I had to bring him. 184 00:06:02,191 --> 00:06:04,060 Dr. Bojangles has one more day of his allergy meds, 185 00:06:04,084 --> 00:06:05,987 and he needs it every three hours. 186 00:06:06,011 --> 00:06:08,371 I tried to sneak him into work with me, but he got out. 187 00:06:08,396 --> 00:06:10,232 - He's very athletic. - (GROANING) 188 00:06:10,257 --> 00:06:12,627 I don't know where he gets it from, but it's definitely not from me. 189 00:06:12,652 --> 00:06:14,423 Anyway, he climbed up the tree in front of the school, 190 00:06:14,448 --> 00:06:15,873 and now he's stuck up there. 191 00:06:15,898 --> 00:06:18,158 And if Principal Spoors finds out I brought Dr. Bojangles 192 00:06:18,183 --> 00:06:20,350 to school again, I'll be in so much trouble. 193 00:06:20,375 --> 00:06:22,744 He's weird about bringing cats to school. 194 00:06:22,769 --> 00:06:24,247 I have to get him down during lunch 195 00:06:24,271 --> 00:06:26,324 because I'm supposed to be "available for counseling" 196 00:06:26,348 --> 00:06:28,101 fourth period, and then it's the assembly 197 00:06:28,125 --> 00:06:29,937 and I have to introduce the college people. 198 00:06:29,961 --> 00:06:31,603 And they want me to say, "Make some noise 199 00:06:31,628 --> 00:06:32,944 for continuing education," 200 00:06:32,969 --> 00:06:34,688 and I just don't think I can pull off 201 00:06:34,713 --> 00:06:36,350 - the phrase "make some noise." - No, you can't. 202 00:06:36,375 --> 00:06:38,170 So you're just gonna go to the front of the school 203 00:06:38,194 --> 00:06:40,118 where everyone in the school can see you 204 00:06:40,137 --> 00:06:42,007 'cause of this thing called windows, 205 00:06:42,031 --> 00:06:43,842 and you're gonna be holding some cat food 206 00:06:43,866 --> 00:06:45,100 and jiggling a cat toy? 207 00:06:45,125 --> 00:06:47,034 And jiggling your moneymaker, probably. 208 00:06:47,052 --> 00:06:48,828 You need a cover story. Like, for instance, 209 00:06:48,853 --> 00:06:51,555 a guidance counselor and a few students outside, 210 00:06:51,580 --> 00:06:54,852 doing something that is totally normal and not cat-related. 211 00:06:54,877 --> 00:06:57,613 - Interesting. - And maybe all these kind students 212 00:06:57,637 --> 00:06:59,228 receive in return for helping is 213 00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:01,973 a couple of "get out of detention free" cards? 214 00:07:01,993 --> 00:07:04,120 What the heck is a "get out of detention free" card? 215 00:07:04,144 --> 00:07:05,864 To get us out of future detentions. 216 00:07:05,888 --> 00:07:08,033 Doesn't it sound like something that should already exist? 217 00:07:08,057 --> 00:07:09,578 No, I-I can't bribe kids 218 00:07:09,603 --> 00:07:12,127 with "get out of detention free" cards. They're not real. 219 00:07:12,152 --> 00:07:14,062 Plus, it would be unethical. Okay, it's a deal. 220 00:07:14,087 --> 00:07:15,609 - Yes! - Let me at that thing! 221 00:07:15,634 --> 00:07:17,014 - (GRUNTING) - (TUTS) 222 00:07:17,039 --> 00:07:19,134 (QUIETLY): Bob, look what I got from upstairs. 223 00:07:19,159 --> 00:07:21,614 - Snail and Newt. - Wait, you went up to the apartment? 224 00:07:21,639 --> 00:07:23,897 So nobody was watching the front of the house. 225 00:07:23,922 --> 00:07:25,405 (SHUSHES) I'm gonna remind her 226 00:07:25,424 --> 00:07:28,091 how special these books are so she'll write another one. 227 00:07:28,116 --> 00:07:29,979 Or you could just stop pressuring her 228 00:07:30,003 --> 00:07:31,573 and let her do what she wants to do? 229 00:07:31,597 --> 00:07:33,080 Well, in my plan I'm helping children 230 00:07:33,098 --> 00:07:35,082 and bringing families together, and in your plan... 231 00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:36,917 - Well, your plan sucks, no offense. - Hmm. 232 00:07:36,935 --> 00:07:39,412 (SINGSONGY): Hey, Bea, look what I got. 233 00:07:39,437 --> 00:07:41,430 Oh, Snail and Newt. Yeah, there it is. 234 00:07:41,455 --> 00:07:43,659 -Yeah, look at it. You wrote this. -Yes. 235 00:07:43,683 --> 00:07:45,828 (AS NEWT): Hey, Bea, it's me Newt. Remember me? 236 00:07:45,852 --> 00:07:46,996 - Mm... - (PHONE RINGS) 237 00:07:47,020 --> 00:07:48,502 (AS SNAIL): I'm Snail, I've got 238 00:07:48,527 --> 00:07:49,742 - a little hat on my head. - Bob's Burgers. 239 00:07:49,767 --> 00:07:52,244 I just, um... Actually, I need to use the restroom. 240 00:07:52,268 --> 00:07:54,003 Uh, would you keep an eye out for the tow truck? 241 00:07:54,027 --> 00:07:55,836 Sure thing, my little Bea Author. 242 00:07:55,861 --> 00:07:57,862 - Get it? She does. - Okay, thanks. 243 00:07:57,956 --> 00:07:59,417 - (DOOR CLOSES) - Uh, that was the tow truck. 244 00:07:59,441 --> 00:08:01,010 They're pulling up now, I think. 245 00:08:01,034 --> 00:08:03,231 Already? No, no, no, no, no, no! 246 00:08:03,256 --> 00:08:06,090 Hi. Uh, I know this is a little weird, 247 00:08:06,115 --> 00:08:08,515 but could you come back in a few minutes or half an hour? 248 00:08:08,542 --> 00:08:10,883 Uh, no, that's not how this works. 249 00:08:10,908 --> 00:08:13,044 No, I know, but it's important. You understand. 250 00:08:13,064 --> 00:08:15,167 - Uh, just come back in a bit. - No... 251 00:08:15,192 --> 00:08:17,894 Listen, what if I told you Bea Cromwell isn't gonna write 252 00:08:17,919 --> 00:08:20,437 any more Snail and Newt books unless we change her mind? 253 00:08:20,462 --> 00:08:22,030 Yeah... I'm gonna drive away. 254 00:08:22,055 --> 00:08:23,500 - But you're coming back? - Nope. 255 00:08:23,525 --> 00:08:25,718 Oh! No, wait! Ah, you left. 256 00:08:25,743 --> 00:08:27,112 - (ENTRY BELL CHIMES) - Oh, boy. Okay. 257 00:08:27,136 --> 00:08:29,705 - Did you just do what I think you did? - Mm... 258 00:08:29,730 --> 00:08:31,707 - Still no tow truck? - (SIGHS) Not yet. 259 00:08:31,731 --> 00:08:33,267 (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) 260 00:08:33,292 --> 00:08:35,619 - More like a slow truck, right? - Oh, my God. 261 00:08:39,193 --> 00:08:41,251 (QUIETLY): Lin, you sent Bea Cromwell's tow truck away. 262 00:08:41,276 --> 00:08:43,422 Are we holding her hostage now? I mean, are you? 263 00:08:43,447 --> 00:08:44,979 Uh, I'm gonna tell the police it was all you. 264 00:08:45,003 --> 00:08:46,555 - I just work here. - I didn't mean to. 265 00:08:46,580 --> 00:08:48,430 I mean, I did, but different. It just happened. 266 00:08:48,455 --> 00:08:50,443 (WHISPERING): We need to get Bea's tow truck back here. 267 00:08:50,468 --> 00:08:52,227 Okay, yes, let's call them. 268 00:08:52,252 --> 00:08:53,392 - Or... - Or what? 269 00:08:53,417 --> 00:08:55,258 - We call them in a little bit. - What? No. 270 00:08:55,283 --> 00:08:56,842 This is already happening, Bob. 271 00:08:56,867 --> 00:08:59,375 And I was making progress, pre-progress. 272 00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:00,672 I just need a little more time. 273 00:09:00,697 --> 00:09:02,737 - (GROANS) I don't like it. - It's fine. 274 00:09:02,762 --> 00:09:04,977 Bea? You want to have a burger while you wait? 275 00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:07,818 Oh! You know, the tow truck really should be here any second. 276 00:09:07,843 --> 00:09:09,267 I'd, um, I'd hate for you to make a burger 277 00:09:09,286 --> 00:09:12,391 - and I can't stay to eat it. - Oh, don't worry about that. 278 00:09:12,416 --> 00:09:15,008 Bob loves making burgers, even if they don't get eaten. 279 00:09:15,033 --> 00:09:17,086 Sometimes he just makes 'em and throws 'em right in the trash. 280 00:09:17,110 --> 00:09:18,847 - Right, Bob? - No, I don't do that. 281 00:09:18,871 --> 00:09:20,915 - Sometimes. - Never done that. 282 00:09:20,940 --> 00:09:22,712 - Make her a burger, please. - Yup. 283 00:09:22,737 --> 00:09:24,069 - Look! (SMOOCHES) - (CAT MEOWING) 284 00:09:24,094 --> 00:09:26,727 - (MAKING WEIRD NOISES) - LOUISE: Well, I for one 285 00:09:26,752 --> 00:09:29,331 love these outdoor guidance counseling sessions. 286 00:09:29,356 --> 00:09:31,432 You under a tree, standing on a ladder, 287 00:09:31,450 --> 00:09:34,147 facing away from us, teaching us about self-confidence. 288 00:09:34,172 --> 00:09:35,216 And trees. 289 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,241 Yup, there's nothing odd about this at all. 290 00:09:37,266 --> 00:09:39,584 Darn it. He's too scared to play with his toy, 291 00:09:39,609 --> 00:09:41,405 and he's not hungry enough to come for the food. 292 00:09:41,430 --> 00:09:42,837 I've never felt that way in my life. 293 00:09:42,862 --> 00:09:44,369 - I need a taller ladder. - (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) 294 00:09:44,394 --> 00:09:46,592 - No! The bell. - Wait, wait, wait, we can do this. 295 00:09:46,616 --> 00:09:49,040 We'll just skip our last class before assembly. 296 00:09:49,060 --> 00:09:50,655 No. No. No skipping class. 297 00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:52,210 Oh... the assembly. 298 00:09:52,235 --> 00:09:54,288 Principal Spoors will know if I'm not there. 299 00:09:54,313 --> 00:09:56,560 Why do I have to be so good at introducing assemblies? 300 00:09:56,585 --> 00:09:59,361 Dr. Bojangles, I need you to either come down 301 00:09:59,386 --> 00:10:01,364 in the next 35 minutes or stay up there 302 00:10:01,388 --> 00:10:03,716 for the next two hours, for your own safety. 303 00:10:03,741 --> 00:10:06,133 But I don't know if you're understanding any of this. 304 00:10:06,152 --> 00:10:08,192 He probably got the gist. He seems smart. 305 00:10:08,228 --> 00:10:10,268 - He is a doctor. - It's an honorary degree. 306 00:10:10,306 --> 00:10:13,041 I gave it to him, and I can take it away. 307 00:10:13,066 --> 00:10:14,377 There's so much more they could do. 308 00:10:14,401 --> 00:10:16,640 These two characters, they've got legs. 309 00:10:16,665 --> 00:10:18,506 Well, not Snail, but, you know, like, uh... 310 00:10:18,531 --> 00:10:21,118 Snail and Newt go to dental hygienist school. 311 00:10:21,143 --> 00:10:22,568 Kids like that, right? 312 00:10:22,593 --> 00:10:25,531 Or what about if Snail and Newt inherit a haunted mansion? 313 00:10:25,556 --> 00:10:28,054 Oh, I know! They could find a human baby 314 00:10:28,079 --> 00:10:30,152 and raise it up to be a country music star. 315 00:10:30,176 --> 00:10:32,435 Maybe I should call the tow truck company again? 316 00:10:32,460 --> 00:10:34,224 It has been a while. May I use your... ? 317 00:10:34,248 --> 00:10:36,265 - No. - I can't call the tow truck? 318 00:10:36,290 --> 00:10:38,686 They actually called while you were in the bathroom. 319 00:10:38,711 --> 00:10:40,811 - They did? - Yeah, I forgot to tell you. 320 00:10:40,836 --> 00:10:42,481 Oops. They're running a little late 321 00:10:42,505 --> 00:10:44,897 because, uh... one of their tow trucks broke down. 322 00:10:44,922 --> 00:10:47,309 Can you believe it? A tow truck needing a tow truck. 323 00:10:47,334 --> 00:10:48,812 That's like a doctor needing a doctor. 324 00:10:48,837 --> 00:10:50,245 Wait, they probably do. 325 00:10:50,270 --> 00:10:52,687 Where were we? Oh! What about, uh... Snail and Newt meet a 326 00:10:52,712 --> 00:10:54,815 - time-traveling spider monkey? - No. 327 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:57,191 Who can tell me what this constellation is? 328 00:10:57,216 --> 00:10:58,819 - The Big Dipper? - No. 329 00:10:58,844 --> 00:11:00,171 - Oh. - Follow the laser. 330 00:11:00,196 --> 00:11:01,460 The Medium Dipper? 331 00:11:01,501 --> 00:11:03,668 Anyone besides Peter? It's Leo. 332 00:11:03,693 --> 00:11:04,780 He's a lion. See? 333 00:11:04,805 --> 00:11:07,005 Kind of looks like a cat? Sort of? Not really. 334 00:11:07,030 --> 00:11:08,696 I mean, I don't know who named these things, 335 00:11:08,714 --> 00:11:10,548 but, you know, maybe cats used to look different? 336 00:11:10,572 --> 00:11:11,176 (GASPS) 337 00:11:11,269 --> 00:11:13,171 - Yes, Gene? - Uh... nothing. 338 00:11:13,196 --> 00:11:16,704 I just love Leos... DiCaprio, da Vinci. 339 00:11:16,706 --> 00:11:18,038 Anyway, go on. 340 00:11:18,207 --> 00:11:20,276 Do you think she's starting to change her mind at all? 341 00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:22,020 - She's coming around, right? - I mean, 342 00:11:22,044 --> 00:11:24,950 she said, "I'm gonna go work on my manuscript by myself," 343 00:11:24,975 --> 00:11:27,115 and then she sat in the farthest booth away 344 00:11:27,140 --> 00:11:29,044 and she hasn't made eye contact since. 345 00:11:29,068 --> 00:11:30,475 I just thought if I could show her 346 00:11:30,495 --> 00:11:31,902 how much we love the books... 347 00:11:31,927 --> 00:11:34,283 Lin, I think she's clear on how much we love the books. 348 00:11:34,308 --> 00:11:36,458 So maybe it's time to... Hmm? 349 00:11:36,483 --> 00:11:38,537 - (GROANS) - You're doing the right thing, 350 00:11:38,561 --> 00:11:41,256 after not doing the right thing so, so much. 351 00:11:41,281 --> 00:11:44,115 Bea? I'm gonna give the tow truck another call. 352 00:11:44,209 --> 00:11:45,317 Okay. Thank you. 353 00:11:45,364 --> 00:11:47,987 Hi, I'm calling from Bob's Burgers on Ocean Avenue. 354 00:11:48,012 --> 00:11:50,716 (QUIETLY): And, uh, we would like the truck to come back. 355 00:11:50,740 --> 00:11:52,620 Uh, can I get you something else? 356 00:11:52,645 --> 00:11:55,575 More coffee? Some ice cream? Napkins? 357 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:58,031 Sorry, I-I'm just saying things that we have. 358 00:11:58,056 --> 00:11:59,171 Thank you, no. 359 00:11:59,196 --> 00:12:00,840 (WHISPERING): No, you don't need to talk to her. 360 00:12:00,939 --> 00:12:03,410 I'll pay extra, just... Okay, fine. Hold on. 361 00:12:03,435 --> 00:12:05,010 - Um, Bea? - Yeah? 362 00:12:05,035 --> 00:12:06,868 They, uh, want to talk to you. 363 00:12:06,947 --> 00:12:08,182 BOB: Oh, God. 364 00:12:08,348 --> 00:12:10,326 Uh, you have to let go of it from your end. 365 00:12:10,350 --> 00:12:12,183 - Sorry, yeah. - What are we gonna do? 366 00:12:12,203 --> 00:12:14,514 Just keep smiling like everything's fine. 367 00:12:14,591 --> 00:12:17,419 Yes, I want the truck. I've been waiting for a long... 368 00:12:17,444 --> 00:12:19,005 What do you mean cancel again? 369 00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:21,044 -Oh, no. -(WHISPERS): Keep smiling. Keep smiling. 370 00:12:21,069 --> 00:12:24,195 I definitely want the truck as soon as possible. Thank you. 371 00:12:24,342 --> 00:12:27,009 Well, I'm gonna wait outside. No reason. 372 00:12:27,034 --> 00:12:28,609 Yup. Makes sense. 373 00:12:28,627 --> 00:12:30,035 Bea, I'm sorry. Let me explain! 374 00:12:30,054 --> 00:12:31,612 Oh, you're coming at me. Um... 375 00:12:31,630 --> 00:12:34,873 No, I know what I did was a lot, but let me explain. 376 00:12:34,898 --> 00:12:37,261 Oh! Oh, oh, look! Uh... (STAMMERS) 377 00:12:37,286 --> 00:12:39,354 Snail keychain. Hey, that's cute. 378 00:12:39,379 --> 00:12:41,283 And now you've got my keys. Please just, um... 379 00:12:41,307 --> 00:12:42,934 I'd like... I'd like to leave now! 380 00:12:42,958 --> 00:12:44,716 - Uh, Lin, maybe... - No, Bea. 381 00:12:44,735 --> 00:12:45,878 You don't understand... 382 00:12:45,903 --> 00:12:47,122 You can't keep me trapped in here. 383 00:12:47,146 --> 00:12:49,031 Stop! Don't come any closer. 384 00:12:49,056 --> 00:12:51,222 - (GROANING) - Bea, don't leave. 385 00:12:51,242 --> 00:12:53,111 I mean, you can go if you want to, but don't. 386 00:12:53,135 --> 00:12:54,537 I'm not saying that in a scary way. 387 00:12:54,561 --> 00:12:55,819 Don't run away from me! 388 00:12:55,971 --> 00:12:57,991 - (SCREAMING) - Bea! 389 00:13:00,850 --> 00:13:02,803 Bea, I'm sorry! Come back inside! 390 00:13:02,828 --> 00:13:04,599 I'll give you your keys, we can talk about this! 391 00:13:04,624 --> 00:13:05,714 Leave me alone! 392 00:13:05,739 --> 00:13:07,927 - Lin, stop chasing her. - I'm not chasing her. 393 00:13:07,952 --> 00:13:10,224 I'm helping her. I'm fine, it's fine. 394 00:13:10,249 --> 00:13:12,896 - Bea! - Uh... I-I got... I got to go inside. 395 00:13:12,921 --> 00:13:14,795 But remember you can also come inside 396 00:13:14,820 --> 00:13:16,405 and stop doing all of this. 397 00:13:16,430 --> 00:13:17,579 I'll be right in. 398 00:13:17,604 --> 00:13:19,357 It's gonna be fine. Everything's fine! 399 00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:21,899 If this is goodbye, I love you. 400 00:13:22,121 --> 00:13:24,827 RAPPER: ♪ Come gather round, everyone ♪ 401 00:13:24,852 --> 00:13:27,092 ♪ We're gonna tell you why college is cool and fun ♪ 402 00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:29,368 ♪ It isn't just for squares who get good grades ♪ 403 00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:31,704 ♪ It's for super hip kids with skateboards and shades ♪ 404 00:13:31,839 --> 00:13:33,907 Damn, they're getting me excited about college. 405 00:13:33,932 --> 00:13:35,321 - Really? - Tina! Louise! 406 00:13:35,340 --> 00:13:36,641 (WHISPERING): Don't go into the assembly. 407 00:13:36,666 --> 00:13:39,076 I know how to get Dr. Bojangles out of the tree. 408 00:13:39,101 --> 00:13:40,654 Ms. Twitchell's laser pointer. 409 00:13:40,679 --> 00:13:43,177 She let me borrow it because I said I want to do science now. 410 00:13:43,202 --> 00:13:45,628 So if you see her, tell her I'm doing science now. 411 00:13:45,653 --> 00:13:47,235 Gene, you brilliant bastard. 412 00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:50,290 I can almost smell those "get out of detention free" passes, 413 00:13:50,315 --> 00:13:52,666 and they smell like getting out of detention for free. 414 00:13:52,836 --> 00:13:54,727 Gosh, I guess we have to miss the assembly 415 00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:56,192 to go help Mr. Frond again. 416 00:13:56,217 --> 00:13:57,900 - Ugh, too bad. - Yeah. 417 00:13:58,034 --> 00:13:59,458 Oh, you were being sarcastic. 418 00:13:59,584 --> 00:14:01,441 But won't we get in trouble for skipping the assembly? 419 00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:02,966 Frond won't let that happen. 420 00:14:02,991 --> 00:14:06,329 Plus, Tina, Dr. Bojangles' life hangs in the balance, literally. 421 00:14:06,354 --> 00:14:08,240 If only we could show Dr. Bojangles 422 00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:09,666 that "hang in there" kitty cat poster. 423 00:14:09,690 --> 00:14:11,357 Okay, fine. Let's go find Mr. Frond. 424 00:14:11,376 --> 00:14:13,019 Isn't he emceeing the assembly? 425 00:14:13,044 --> 00:14:14,245 Well, he's not here, 426 00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:15,598 so he must be in hair and makeup? 427 00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:17,363 BRANCA: Why do you need such a tall ladder? 428 00:14:17,382 --> 00:14:18,860 - You could fall and get hurt. - (GRUNTS) 429 00:14:18,884 --> 00:14:20,586 I told you, it's very important, 430 00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:22,254 but I also can't tell you anything about it. 431 00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:24,347 Mr. Frond, I can't let you do this. 432 00:14:24,372 --> 00:14:26,413 You know how uncoordinated you are. 433 00:14:26,438 --> 00:14:28,518 - In-in a cute way. It's endearing. - (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) 434 00:14:28,542 --> 00:14:30,996 Now, let's go enjoy the assembly together, eh? 435 00:14:31,021 --> 00:14:32,021 Aah! 436 00:14:32,046 --> 00:14:33,287 The assembly. 437 00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:34,757 Damn, he's not here either. 438 00:14:34,782 --> 00:14:35,973 Cat, yes. Frond, no. 439 00:14:36,067 --> 00:14:37,424 Unless the cat ate him? 440 00:14:37,426 --> 00:14:39,213 Eh, there'd be signs of a struggle 441 00:14:39,237 --> 00:14:41,045 and bits of sweater vest everywhere. 442 00:14:41,070 --> 00:14:42,466 LOUISE: We'll just have to do this ourselves. 443 00:14:42,491 --> 00:14:44,776 - (MEOWS) - I'm gonna call us The Pointer Sisters 444 00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,703 - because I'm so excited! - (MEOWS) 445 00:14:46,727 --> 00:14:47,870 Oh, it's not working. 446 00:14:47,895 --> 00:14:49,281 - That cat's broken. - Give me that. 447 00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:50,972 You can't just flick it around. 448 00:14:50,997 --> 00:14:52,292 You got to flirt a little. 449 00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:53,480 TINA: I'd date that dot. 450 00:14:53,519 --> 00:14:55,826 Bea? Let me in, please. 451 00:14:55,851 --> 00:14:58,478 - Mort! - MORT: Uh... Uh, hi, Linda! 452 00:14:58,503 --> 00:15:00,525 - LINDA: Hi, Mort! - Leave me alone! 453 00:15:00,550 --> 00:15:02,403 LINDA: I just want to talk to you, Bea! 454 00:15:02,427 --> 00:15:03,927 Mort? Come on, let me in. 455 00:15:04,022 --> 00:15:05,296 We're not letting her in. 456 00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:07,133 (STRAINING): Mort, can you tell Bea 457 00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:09,892 I'm a very nice, normal person? 458 00:15:09,917 --> 00:15:12,084 There you go, follow that dot, 459 00:15:12,103 --> 00:15:13,327 you adorable idiot. 460 00:15:13,352 --> 00:15:14,996 Tina, get ready to try and grab him. 461 00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:18,293 Uh... Gene, it seems like you two have more in common, 462 00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:19,876 so maybe you should try. 463 00:15:19,901 --> 00:15:22,735 Okay. Here I come, Dr. Bojangles. 464 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:25,764 Permission to put my hands in your armpits? 465 00:15:26,432 --> 00:15:27,581 - Oh. - Wow. 466 00:15:27,606 --> 00:15:31,207 Okay. Now, you just have to carry him all the way to Frond's office. 467 00:15:31,232 --> 00:15:34,492 Try to make him look like... a kid who needs counseling? 468 00:15:34,517 --> 00:15:36,442 If anyone asks, you're having trouble 469 00:15:36,461 --> 00:15:38,664 adjusting to your parents' new living situation. 470 00:15:38,689 --> 00:15:39,964 And it's not your fault. 471 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:41,590 I don't hear her anymore. 472 00:15:41,615 --> 00:15:43,593 Maybe she realized that she was scaring you 473 00:15:43,617 --> 00:15:45,057 and she went back to the restaurant? 474 00:15:45,082 --> 00:15:47,097 She's usually a nice person, when she's not scary. 475 00:15:47,121 --> 00:15:49,121 - Hmm. - What do you say we open the door? 476 00:15:49,140 --> 00:15:50,525 I mean, this is a business, 477 00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,511 and sometimes people come in here, alive ones. 478 00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:53,893 Uh... okay. 479 00:15:54,651 --> 00:15:56,628 And... there you go. No Linda. 480 00:15:56,648 --> 00:15:57,963 - Here I am! - Oh, God! 481 00:15:57,983 --> 00:15:59,540 Sorry. Was that not fun? 482 00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:01,495 That was supposed to be fun. Look, Bea. 483 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:04,130 I'm just here to give you your keys and say I'm really sorry. 484 00:16:04,224 --> 00:16:05,465 Okay, fine. Thank you. 485 00:16:05,490 --> 00:16:07,692 So sorry the tow truck guy left 'cause of me, 486 00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:08,716 and I didn't tell you. 487 00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:10,118 It's only because of the books. 488 00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:11,455 And I won't take up any more of your time, 489 00:16:11,479 --> 00:16:12,887 but it's $6.50 for the burger. 490 00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:15,125 I'm j... I'm just kidding. It's on Mort. Right, Mort? 491 00:16:15,149 --> 00:16:16,460 - Wait, what? - Oh, I'm kidding. 492 00:16:16,484 --> 00:16:18,128 Burger's on the house, of course. 493 00:16:18,152 --> 00:16:20,077 You see? I'm a fun person. 494 00:16:20,102 --> 00:16:21,298 Yeah, you're delightful. 495 00:16:21,323 --> 00:16:23,209 Thank you. Hey, let's start over. 496 00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:24,899 Clean slate. Hi, I'm Linda, 497 00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:27,321 and I haven't held you hostage in my restaurant at all today. 498 00:16:27,345 --> 00:16:29,824 - Mm-hmm. - And so what's your name, Bea Cromwell? 499 00:16:29,848 --> 00:16:31,141 - (SNEEZES) - Bless you. 500 00:16:31,165 --> 00:16:32,309 Oh, there's the allergies. 501 00:16:32,333 --> 00:16:33,402 This guy needs his medicine. 502 00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:34,978 The divorce has been hard on him. 503 00:16:35,002 --> 00:16:36,651 Ah, almost there. 504 00:16:37,854 --> 00:16:39,499 - SCHNUR: What's happening here? - (ALL GASP) 505 00:16:39,524 --> 00:16:42,818 So, you'll maybe consider writing another Snail and Newt? 506 00:16:42,843 --> 00:16:46,466 Uh-huh. Whatever I have to say until you're gone. 507 00:16:46,491 --> 00:16:49,234 Aw, great. Well, so nice to meet you. 508 00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:51,548 - Mm-hmm. - Here's your keys. 509 00:16:51,573 --> 00:16:53,673 We're good, right? I feel like we're good. 510 00:16:53,698 --> 00:16:55,165 Should we hug? Let's have a hug. 511 00:16:55,189 --> 00:16:57,022 Uh... no, no, no. 512 00:16:57,047 --> 00:17:00,186 - (LINDA AND BEA GRUNTING) - I'll, uh, be right back. 513 00:17:00,211 --> 00:17:01,263 - Sorry. - (ENTRY BELL CHIMES) 514 00:17:01,287 --> 00:17:03,271 MORT: All right. Okay. 515 00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:04,745 - Hi, Bob. - BOB: Yep. 516 00:17:04,770 --> 00:17:07,542 That's pretty much what I pictured was happening here. 517 00:17:11,229 --> 00:17:14,782 Uh, Bea, I'm so sorry about what my wife did, 518 00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:17,019 but maybe you could let her go? 519 00:17:17,044 --> 00:17:19,649 - Lin, are you okay? - (STRAINING): I'm fine. I'm great. 520 00:17:19,674 --> 00:17:21,267 Where'd you learn how to do that? 521 00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:24,269 I studied Krav Maga when I was researching my latest book. 522 00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:26,272 Very cool. I took a bike safety class 523 00:17:26,296 --> 00:17:27,461 at the rec center. 524 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:30,222 - Kind of similar. - Bea? Uh, M-Ms. Cromwell? 525 00:17:30,241 --> 00:17:31,609 L-Linda's not as dangerous 526 00:17:31,634 --> 00:17:33,612 as she might have seemed to you before. 527 00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:35,780 Canceling my tow truck? Taking my keys? 528 00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:37,448 I also picked up a hair of yours 529 00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:39,285 that fell off your head to show the kids later. 530 00:17:39,309 --> 00:17:40,732 Sorry, I know it's weird. 531 00:17:40,752 --> 00:17:42,971 I just feel safer if we do this until the tow truck comes, 532 00:17:43,150 --> 00:17:44,778 - and maybe the police. - I get it. 533 00:17:45,268 --> 00:17:47,193 I still don't know what cat you're talking about. 534 00:17:47,218 --> 00:17:49,218 - Oh, this cat. - Uh-huh. 535 00:17:49,243 --> 00:17:51,836 No animals at school. Wait a second. 536 00:17:51,861 --> 00:17:53,307 I recognize you. 537 00:17:53,332 --> 00:17:55,891 Did Mr. Frond bring his cat to school again? 538 00:17:55,916 --> 00:17:57,303 - No, no. - What, no? - No, no. 539 00:17:57,327 --> 00:17:59,062 He looked at me when I said Mr. Frond. 540 00:17:59,086 --> 00:18:00,873 See? There. He just did it again. 541 00:18:00,898 --> 00:18:02,898 This is our... science project. 542 00:18:02,923 --> 00:18:04,359 Yeah. We made it? 543 00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:06,443 - Pretty good, huh? - Oh, dear Lord. 544 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:10,052 (STAMMERS) How dare you bring a cat to school? 545 00:18:10,077 --> 00:18:11,444 You probably thought I'd go easier on you 546 00:18:11,490 --> 00:18:13,370 because he looks just like my cat, 547 00:18:13,395 --> 00:18:16,092 but you can't bring a cat onto school property. 548 00:18:16,117 --> 00:18:18,986 Everyone knows that. I'll handle this, Ms. Schnur. 549 00:18:19,011 --> 00:18:21,195 You three march yourselves into my office. 550 00:18:21,220 --> 00:18:23,974 - I'm calling your parents. - I mean, don't be too hard on them. 551 00:18:23,998 --> 00:18:26,124 No, no. I'm none too pleased. 552 00:18:26,149 --> 00:18:27,644 - None too pleased! - (SNEEZES) 553 00:18:27,668 --> 00:18:30,962 It's a good thing I have allergy medicine for you, 554 00:18:30,987 --> 00:18:32,654 cat I've never met in my life. 555 00:18:32,673 --> 00:18:34,006 In. In. In. In. 556 00:18:34,031 --> 00:18:35,536 All right. 557 00:18:35,561 --> 00:18:37,636 So, uh, you're really good at this. 558 00:18:37,661 --> 00:18:39,724 - What's it called again? - Krav Maga. 559 00:18:39,749 --> 00:18:42,158 Maybe Snail and Newt could do, uh, Kraw Magoo. 560 00:18:42,183 --> 00:18:44,269 - That would be fun. Ow. - Hey, Lin? 561 00:18:44,294 --> 00:18:47,721 Uh, I know how much you... We all loved those books, 562 00:18:47,746 --> 00:18:49,148 but she doesn't really need to write 563 00:18:49,172 --> 00:18:50,650 any more Snail and Newt, does she? 564 00:18:50,674 --> 00:18:52,669 I mean, you know, someday we'll have grandkids. 565 00:18:52,693 --> 00:18:55,229 Hopefully, uh, like, 20 years from now, 566 00:18:55,254 --> 00:18:57,174 but you'll get to read them the books 567 00:18:57,198 --> 00:18:58,674 if you're not in jail. 568 00:18:58,768 --> 00:19:01,332 Bea, maybe you could let her go? 569 00:19:01,357 --> 00:19:03,114 And I could hold her down for you? 570 00:19:03,139 --> 00:19:05,520 - W-Would that be helpful? - I know I went overboard. 571 00:19:05,545 --> 00:19:07,741 It's just I-I thought if you could write a book, 572 00:19:07,766 --> 00:19:10,278 another book, we could be back in our bed, 573 00:19:10,303 --> 00:19:13,208 all-all snuggling and crying and laughing again, 574 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:16,527 and maybe no one has to grow up and leave and go to college. 575 00:19:16,552 --> 00:19:18,696 I know it doesn't make sense. I know. 576 00:19:18,721 --> 00:19:20,615 Lin, if it helps, I'm pretty sure 577 00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:23,341 at least two of our kids are gonna have to live at home 578 00:19:23,366 --> 00:19:24,521 for a long time. 579 00:19:24,546 --> 00:19:26,888 I just wish I could freeze those moments 580 00:19:26,913 --> 00:19:29,396 and go back and live in 'em a little longer. 581 00:19:29,421 --> 00:19:31,346 You know? Before it's all gone 582 00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:33,639 and we end up here at Mort's. 583 00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:35,412 Get to end up here. Friend prices. 584 00:19:35,437 --> 00:19:37,379 It makes me sad, 585 00:19:37,448 --> 00:19:39,125 and then I did all this stuff. 586 00:19:39,150 --> 00:19:41,475 - I'm-I'm sorry, Bea. - Listen, Linda. 587 00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:42,724 My kids are in college now. 588 00:19:42,749 --> 00:19:44,826 And, yeah, it's different, and I miss them. 589 00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,479 And they definitely don't call me enough, 590 00:19:46,504 --> 00:19:48,845 - but it's also good. - Is it? It sounds awful. 591 00:19:48,870 --> 00:19:51,037 - Your life sounds awful. - Okay, just stop. 592 00:19:51,346 --> 00:19:53,904 It's good because this is what's supposed to happen. 593 00:19:53,929 --> 00:19:55,262 They're supposed to grow up. 594 00:19:55,287 --> 00:19:58,373 Stuff changes, and then you enjoy the changes. 595 00:19:58,398 --> 00:20:00,209 And I do so much less laundry now. 596 00:20:00,234 --> 00:20:02,063 - Oh, yeah. - That does sound nice. 597 00:20:02,088 --> 00:20:03,479 (SNIFFLES) Thank you, Bea. 598 00:20:03,504 --> 00:20:07,023 I can't feel my arms or my neck anymore, but thank you. 599 00:20:08,231 --> 00:20:11,007 Bye, Bea! Maybe I'll come by your reading! 600 00:20:11,032 --> 00:20:12,439 - BEA: No! - I'll just stop by. 601 00:20:12,459 --> 00:20:13,850 Ooh, gosh, she's strong. 602 00:20:13,868 --> 00:20:15,587 I love that she put you in a full nelson. 603 00:20:15,611 --> 00:20:17,181 I love that you were in a full nelson. 604 00:20:17,205 --> 00:20:18,912 I want to reenact what happened all night. 605 00:20:18,937 --> 00:20:21,522 Children's book authors. Great at grappling, huh? 606 00:20:21,547 --> 00:20:22,880 And spelling, I bet. 607 00:20:22,905 --> 00:20:24,721 So, uh, how was the college assembly? 608 00:20:24,746 --> 00:20:27,304 Was it awful, I hope? Just kidding. 609 00:20:27,329 --> 00:20:29,146 Sort of. I mean, it's good if you're excited. 610 00:20:29,171 --> 00:20:31,207 What's exciting is, we're gonna be able to get in anywhere 611 00:20:31,232 --> 00:20:33,490 because our records are going to be spotless, 612 00:20:33,515 --> 00:20:35,497 thanks to our friend Dr. Bojangles. 613 00:20:35,604 --> 00:20:37,640 - Who? - He's a cat who's also a doctor. 614 00:20:37,665 --> 00:20:41,016 Okay. I'm a little worried about that. 615 00:20:41,981 --> 00:20:43,998 ♪ Every moment we're together ♪ 616 00:20:44,382 --> 00:20:47,992 ♪ Is another moment I will treasure ♪ 617 00:20:48,017 --> 00:20:51,277 ♪ Snail and Newt in any weather ♪ 618 00:20:51,302 --> 00:20:53,739 ♪ But too bad it's not forever ♪ 619 00:20:53,764 --> 00:20:56,765 ♪ Because someday you'll have to go ♪ 620 00:20:56,790 --> 00:21:00,274 ♪ And live your life, though it kills me so ♪ 621 00:21:00,299 --> 00:21:03,543 ♪ I don't know how I will go on ♪ 622 00:21:03,568 --> 00:21:07,249 ♪ Why get out of bed if you are gone? ♪ 623 00:21:07,554 --> 00:21:09,460 LINDA: What about Snail and Newt try stand-up? 624 00:21:09,485 --> 00:21:13,170 Oh, oh! Snail and Newt get fun haircuts. Two tight perms. 625 00:21:13,372 --> 00:21:16,206 Snail and Newt go on tour with Guns N' Roses. 626 00:21:16,231 --> 00:21:18,231 Snail and Newt start a fight club. 627 00:21:18,283 --> 00:21:20,225 Snail and Newt go to Buffalo. 628 00:21:20,396 --> 00:21:22,637 Oh, Snail and Newt eat too much mac and cheese, 629 00:21:22,662 --> 00:21:24,054 and then they can't poop. 630 00:21:24,079 --> 00:21:26,246 Oh, Snail and Newt go to couples' counseling 631 00:21:26,428 --> 00:21:27,852 and they work it all out. 632 00:21:27,877 --> 00:21:30,470 ♪ But every moment we're together ♪ 633 00:21:30,733 --> 00:21:33,601 ♪ Is another moment I will treasure. ♪ 634 00:21:33,659 --> 00:21:37,046 - Synced and corrected by ChrisKe - -- for www.addic7ed.com --