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- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
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Louise, your breakfast is getting cold.
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It's just cereal. It's
supposed to be cold.
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Or have I been doing it wrong?
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I was gonna make cheesy eggs
for everybody this morning,
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but someone ate the entire
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- brand-new block of cheddar.
- It was sharp cheddar,
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which is the best-dressed
of all the cheddars.
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That's true.
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Morning, Louise. You seem tired.
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Why you so sleepy, honey?
Did you have a bad dream
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where your father goes crazy
and kills the whole family?
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- What?
- No, nothing cool like that.
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It's just tomorrow is my
last show-and-tell ever.
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- Ever.
- Oh, right, it stops after fourth grade.
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But then in fifth grade
you get social studies,
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- so that's cool.
- Anyway,
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I'm kind of the rock
star of show-and-tell.
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It's my thing, it's what I'm known for.
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- Everyone agrees.
- That and your dainty feet.
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- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
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I've always knocked it out of the park,
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and this is my last one,
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I really have to bring it.
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So I was up all night
trying to figure out
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what to do for my last hurrah
and I came up with nothing!
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Well, why don't you bring
one of your fun Japanese toys?
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That octopus-looking one, maybe?
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He's got a story to tell, I bet.
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Or at least a funny
thing that happened to him
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in the checkout line
at the grocery store?
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Oh, Tina, Tina, Tina.
You really don't get it.
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I've set a very high bar.
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My completely mechanical replacement arm
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has ten times the
strength of a normal arm.
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This is a drawing of
my pet monkey, Bjorn.
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Couple things about Bjorn...
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He can do the Macarena,
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he is an ordained minister...
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This is a tooth from the
shark that tried to eat me,
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and I kick-boxed my way out of its mouth.
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We're actually good friends now.
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It's made with human remains
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from the crematorium next door.
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Louise, I think maybe
some of your show-and-tells
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weren't exactly honest.
Because they were lies.
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For your last one, maybe
you do something real.
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What? No. Real life is boring.
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Just look at Dad over
there, reading the newspaper.
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- Boring.
- Hey.
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You think people want
to hear about that life?
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This actually isn't boring, Louise.
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I'm reading about that old
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artillery battery near the wharf.
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It says some cannonballs washed ashore.
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Speaking of cannonballs washing ashore,
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I got to go to the bathroom.
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Thank you for that, Gene.
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There was an artillery
battery around here?
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And what kind of batteries
do artilleries take?
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Double-A? It's always double-A.
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A battery is a bunch
of cannons, I think.
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They used them in the
War of 1812 against
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the bad guys?
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You know the spot,
there's a cannon there.
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Or a statue of a cannon.
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We maybe let you play on
it when you were little,
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which I assume was okay.
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Our town should get playgrounds.
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So, yeah, after that
big storm last month,
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these old cannonballs washed up
on the beach near the battery,
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- which is pretty cool.
- Oh, that storm.
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I had to reset all the clocks.
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And I didn't check what time it was,
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so don't use the clocks
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if you need to know what time it is.
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Yes, that's it!
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I'm gonna go look for a cannonball.
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- That's a real thing, right, Tina?
- Uh, wait. What?
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No one is gonna go
look for a cannonball.
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I don't want any of my
babies getting exploded.
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Well, the cannonballs
themselves don't explode, Lin.
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They're just a ball of iron.
The gunpowder was in the cannon.
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Unless that's their evil plan.
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To blow us up a hundred and
something years after the war?
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- I don't know.
- Eh, it was a false alarm.
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But still give it a
few minutes in there.
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Lot of smoke but no fire. What'd I miss?
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I'm gonna look for cannonballs
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on the beach after breakfast. Who's in?
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Sounds fun, but I don't
think I should go anywhere.
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I'd feel better if I
could lose this cheddar.
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Tina, what about you? You coming?
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I mean, I'll go to the beach with you
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because that sounds nice,
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but I don't think we'll
find any cannonballs.
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We may find a pleasant breeze, though.
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Aw, a sister cannonball run.
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You know, when I was a kid,
we found a box of bullets
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in the woods and threw
'em at each other.
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But don't do that. And, hey,
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stay on the beach, you two.
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No going on slippery rocks
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where the waves can knock you in.
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And there's some caves near there.
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Don't go in those.
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Because of drowning.
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And if we see a volcano,
should we jump in that or no?
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No. No volcanoes.
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They seem fun but they're not.
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So, Bob, you know how Kathleen
likes to watch hurling?
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- Uh, no.
- Well, she does. A lot.
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She likes watching people vomit?
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- Hurling is a sport, Gene.
- Sports?
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Ugh, I'd rather watch people vomit.
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It's like hockey but on grass.
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And they have a ball instead of a puck
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and then you can pick
up the ball, I think.
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It's a little confusing.
But, uh, I love it.
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Sounds like you do.
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Uh, yeah, anyway, the bar where
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she usually watches it is closing.
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The owner's moving back to Ireland,
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- to start an American bar.
- Okay.
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So, I kind of invited her
here to watch the game today.
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But is it even on regular TV?
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No, uh, but I have a computer
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and a little projector in my truck.
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And I can rig it all up.
Doesn't that sound fun?
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- I guess.
- Aw, Teddy, look at you rigging up
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sports stuff for your special friend.
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Some hurlin' and girlin'.
But she's a woman.
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Yeah, well, Kathleen likes hurling,
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so I'm gonna like hurling. Because
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it's good to have, you
know, shared hobbies.
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My ex-wife Denise and
I had nothing in common.
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Her favorite thing was
going on trips by herself
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and not telling me when
or where she was going,
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and mine was just sitting at home,
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rocking back and forth a little,
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and saying, "We're still in love."
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Over and over.
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- Aw, Teddy.
- Look at you two.
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You share some hobbies. You
both like burgers and fries.
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Hurling could be me and
Kathleen's "burgers and fries."
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I mean, not a hobby, but...
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- Anyway, great. We're doing it.
- Yes!
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It's happening! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
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Thank you, Gene. That's very supportive.
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Uh, Teddy, I think he's talking about
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- going to the bathroom.
- Oh.
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Wait. Nope, not happening.
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Dang it. What's wrong with me?
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This is where I shine. This is who I am!
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Aw, my poor blocked-up baby.
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I'm gonna beat this. They're gonna make
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an independent movie about it someday.
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Well, that's the cannon up there.
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We're definitely looking
in the right place.
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Where are the cannonballs?
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I mean, people probably found them all?
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Oh, look, there's something.
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Oh. No, just part of a dead crab.
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But it's kind of cool. Could
work for show-and-tell?
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Aah! The legs moved.
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You're gonna be fine, little guy. Heh.
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Let's keep going.
He's not gonna be fine.
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Yeah, besides, I can't
walk into show-and-tell
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with half a dead crab, Tina.
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I'd get laughed out of
there. I'd get booed.
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Wait, people boo at show-and-tell?
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I mean, Ms. Labonz boos sometimes.
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- Harsh.
- Yeah.
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- Hey, there's Gus.
- Hi, Gus.
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- Hello, kids.
- You haven't caught any cannonballs
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- with that thing, have you?
- Nope, just trying to catch my dinner.
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Well, I hope you reel in a pizza then.
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Just kidding.
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I know pizzas don't live in the ocean.
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You know, there were cannons
all along the bluff up there.
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They went past the point.
If I was looking for a cannonball,
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I'd look over there in the rocks.
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Not as many people
walking around over there.
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It's a little harder to get to.
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Or I'd look in the
caves beyond the point
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- if it wasn't so dangerous.
- Interesting.
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Another reason people don't go
there is it gets pretty stinky.
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- How stinky we talking?
- Pretty nasty.
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It comes from a seaweed that
gets washed up called sargassum.
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Smells like rotten eggs.
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I got some in my boat in
1986 and it still smells.
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Not that my boat smelled
great before that, but still.
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- Thanks, Gus.
- You're welcome.
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Looks like we're going on those rocks.
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What? But Mom said
no going on the rocks.
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And if we don't find anything there,
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- we're looking in the caves.
- Dad said no caves!
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Tina, that was before we got
all the hot tips from Gus.
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The hot Gus goss.
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It's obviously where the
cannonballs are gonna be.
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And look... the tide's going out.
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It's perfectly safe.
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Oh, also, the tide's coming in,
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so you definitely don't
want to go in the caves now.
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Unless you like drowning.
Most people don't.
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So be careful looking around over there.
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- What did he say?
- I don't know.
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- I think he caught a fish.
- Oh. Way to go, Gus.
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- Okay, then.
- See Tina? Everything's great.
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Gus caught his dinner and
I'm gonna be the winner.
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- Of show-and-tell. That's the spirit.
-Aah, aah, aah, aah, aah!
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No cannonball there.
No cannonball there.
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Whoa. Tina, you see anything?
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00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:16,248
No, I'm kind of more
focused on not falling off
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00:07:16,273 --> 00:07:18,675
these very slippery rocks
we're not supposed to be on
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and being taken away by the ocean.
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Oof, now I smell the seaweed
Gus was talking about.
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- Oh, yeah, the sargassum.
- Are you being "sargasstic?" Ha!
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Look at the not-dangerous
fun we're having.
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Uh-huh, totally. Hey,
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I know I'm the one who said
you should do something real
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for show-and-tell, but
there's lots of real things
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we can find that aren't
near smelly, dangerous rocks.
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Tina, this is my final show-and-tell.
This has to be spectacular.
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I want people to say, "Just
being near Louise Belcher
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"gives my life meaning.
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Praise Louise Belcher.
Praise Louise Belcher."
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00:07:47,845 --> 00:07:49,653
Oh! I don't like when it does that.
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00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:52,391
Well, maybe it doesn't like
when you're so negative.
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Yup, yup. Sorry, ocean.
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Uh, the screen seems
like it might be, uh...
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Incredibly inconvenient?
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00:07:59,665 --> 00:08:02,666
No, I was gonna say, "a fun obstacle."
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00:08:02,685 --> 00:08:04,330
Why not just put the
screen on the back wall?
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00:08:04,354 --> 00:08:05,498
'Cause of the booths, Bob.
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00:08:05,522 --> 00:08:07,235
If the screen's on the back wall,
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00:08:07,260 --> 00:08:08,672
the people facing the door can't see it.
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00:08:08,691 --> 00:08:10,938
This way everyone just
has to turn their head.
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00:08:10,963 --> 00:08:13,631
Yeah, people like watching things
that are to the side of them.
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It's like, "Hey, you."
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- Teddy...
- Bob, it's fine.
242
00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:17,888
It's just one day.
243
00:08:17,913 --> 00:08:20,684
- And it's just one piece of paper.
- And also all of that.
244
00:08:20,703 --> 00:08:23,959
Right. So you had all
these printed, Teddy?
245
00:08:23,984 --> 00:08:25,457
Well, I had to. You'd be surprised
246
00:08:25,482 --> 00:08:27,477
how few stores there
are that sell posters
247
00:08:27,526 --> 00:08:29,318
with motivational
hurling phrases on them.
248
00:08:29,343 --> 00:08:31,123
What does "shorten the grip" mean?
249
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:33,192
I'm not exactly sure. I just went online
250
00:08:33,216 --> 00:08:35,407
- and looked up hurling phrases.
- Very smart.
251
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:37,343
"Three cheers for crisp striking."
252
00:08:37,368 --> 00:08:39,944
I kind of made up the "three
cheers" part of that one.
253
00:08:39,969 --> 00:08:42,383
- It's good.
- Kathleen is gonna love it.
254
00:08:42,408 --> 00:08:44,370
Well, hopefully the other
guys will like it, too.
255
00:08:44,395 --> 00:08:46,280
- Other guys?
- Yeah, I found a local
256
00:08:46,304 --> 00:08:47,728
hurling enthusiast club online.
257
00:08:47,753 --> 00:08:49,322
- I invited them all.
- Y-You did?
258
00:08:49,347 --> 00:08:51,923
Yeah, you can't watch an
exciting live sporting event
259
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,459
in a quiet restaurant.
260
00:08:53,484 --> 00:08:55,127
- Not that quiet.
- Pretty quiet.
261
00:08:55,146 --> 00:08:56,553
Yeah, you can hear Bob breathing.
262
00:08:56,573 --> 00:08:58,050
- Really? You can?
- Yeah, it's nice.
263
00:08:58,074 --> 00:08:59,443
- It's loud.
- I can tell you're alive
264
00:08:59,467 --> 00:09:00,719
when you're back in the kitchen.
265
00:09:00,743 --> 00:09:01,978
- I don't have to check on you.
- Mm.
266
00:09:02,003 --> 00:09:04,394
Well, sounds like we
may have a busy day.
267
00:09:04,414 --> 00:09:06,581
- That's good.
- Yeah, I guess it is.
268
00:09:06,606 --> 00:09:08,584
- The online group is just three people.
- Oh.
269
00:09:08,609 --> 00:09:10,681
Should we put this up here
or should we put it outside?
270
00:09:10,706 --> 00:09:14,715
What's a good spot?
♪ Oh, my old Irish Rose. ♪
271
00:09:14,740 --> 00:09:17,051
It's not a real song,
Bobby. I made it up.
272
00:09:17,076 --> 00:09:18,312
You thought it was a real song.
273
00:09:18,336 --> 00:09:19,646
It's not, it just sounds like one.
274
00:09:20,197 --> 00:09:23,747
Okay. Cool cave. But
it doesn't smell great.
275
00:09:23,766 --> 00:09:26,150
Huh, let's look. Nope, don't
see any cannonballs in there.
276
00:09:26,175 --> 00:09:27,641
Oh, well, we tried. Guess we go back,
277
00:09:27,666 --> 00:09:29,914
see if that interesting
half-crab is still hanging around?
278
00:09:29,939 --> 00:09:32,126
- Tina, I'm going in.
- But Dad said no.
279
00:09:32,151 --> 00:09:33,709
And you know what's fun?
Listening to your parents
280
00:09:33,734 --> 00:09:34,992
and remaining alive.
281
00:09:35,017 --> 00:09:37,562
It's fine, I can just
go in there by myself.
282
00:09:37,587 --> 00:09:40,281
No need for you to feel guilty
or responsible for my fate.
283
00:09:40,306 --> 00:09:42,409
Just because you're my
big sister and my protector
284
00:09:42,434 --> 00:09:44,405
and finding something real
and true was all your idea.
285
00:09:44,430 --> 00:09:46,580
But are we sure the tide is going out?
286
00:09:46,605 --> 00:09:48,565
Looks like it might be coming in?
287
00:09:48,590 --> 00:09:51,510
Tina, I've lived by the
sea for over nine years now.
288
00:09:51,535 --> 00:09:54,277
I think I know a thing or
two about the tides, m'kay?
289
00:09:54,297 --> 00:09:57,152
- Uh...
- Oh, uh-oh, look... oh, I'm in.
290
00:09:57,177 --> 00:09:58,915
Ah, see how easy it is to go in?
291
00:09:58,940 --> 00:10:01,306
- Look how "in" I am.
- Ugh. Fine.
292
00:10:02,356 --> 00:10:04,340
Whoa.
293
00:10:04,365 --> 00:10:06,623
Right? The smell is another thing
294
00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:08,148
that keeps away the looky-loos.
295
00:10:08,173 --> 00:10:09,846
But not us, because we've been training
296
00:10:09,871 --> 00:10:11,883
our whole lives for
this by living with Gene.
297
00:10:11,908 --> 00:10:15,465
Now, come on. Let's go
find mama a cannonball!
298
00:10:15,708 --> 00:10:16,765
You guys good?
299
00:10:16,790 --> 00:10:18,446
We're good. Cheers.
300
00:10:18,470 --> 00:10:20,073
Isn't this place great?
Good banners, huh?
301
00:10:20,098 --> 00:10:21,414
Such good phrases.
302
00:10:21,439 --> 00:10:24,210
So, uh... who are you
guys rooting for today?
303
00:10:24,235 --> 00:10:27,012
- Waterford or Tipperary?
- Can't you tell by what we're wearing?
304
00:10:27,037 --> 00:10:29,037
It's obviously Waterfor...
305
00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:31,309
- Tipperary.
- Of course.
306
00:10:31,334 --> 00:10:33,387
'Cause those are the
colors that Tipperary wears.
307
00:10:33,411 --> 00:10:34,558
This guy didn't know that,
308
00:10:34,583 --> 00:10:35,644
- but I do.
- What?
309
00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:37,207
What can I get you hurly-burlies?
310
00:10:37,231 --> 00:10:38,433
Burger of the day for me, please.
311
00:10:38,458 --> 00:10:39,526
- Same.
- Me as well.
312
00:10:39,551 --> 00:10:40,717
And three beers, thanks.
313
00:10:40,742 --> 00:10:41,984
I'll put that order
in for you gentlemen,
314
00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:43,887
and now, if you'll excuse me,
315
00:10:43,912 --> 00:10:45,637
I'm gonna go see if
can tickle the ivory.
316
00:10:45,662 --> 00:10:47,782
I'm assuming that's
what toilets are made of.
317
00:10:47,807 --> 00:10:48,806
- Wish me luck.
- Gene.
318
00:10:48,831 --> 00:10:49,814
Go get 'em, honey.
319
00:10:49,839 --> 00:10:51,989
Okay, not loving this.
320
00:10:52,014 --> 00:10:54,111
Not loving this at all.
321
00:10:54,136 --> 00:10:56,559
Everything in my body is
telling me we should leave.
322
00:10:56,584 --> 00:10:58,480
Mostly my nose, because of the smell.
323
00:10:58,505 --> 00:11:00,920
Oh, and yup, that's more water.
324
00:11:00,938 --> 00:11:02,254
Huh. That's more water!
325
00:11:02,256 --> 00:11:03,756
- Louise!
- Yeah?
326
00:11:03,781 --> 00:11:05,809
Cool update. The tide is coming in.
327
00:11:05,834 --> 00:11:08,012
Well, that's odd. And kind of rude.
328
00:11:08,037 --> 00:11:09,907
But even if it is just now coming in,
329
00:11:09,931 --> 00:11:11,263
we have plenty of time.
330
00:11:11,282 --> 00:11:12,644
Come help me look over here.
331
00:11:12,669 --> 00:11:15,411
If I was a cannonball,
I'd love this area.
332
00:11:15,436 --> 00:11:16,765
Whoa. But watch your step.
333
00:11:16,790 --> 00:11:18,675
There's a crevice. Not in a bad way.
334
00:11:18,700 --> 00:11:21,034
It's the good kind of crevice.
335
00:11:22,815 --> 00:11:24,881
Okay, that's a little bit alarming.
336
00:11:24,906 --> 00:11:28,096
I can see now that it doesn't
seem totally safe to be in here.
337
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:29,120
So, can we go?
338
00:11:29,145 --> 00:11:30,705
Did I hear you say five more minutes?
339
00:11:30,730 --> 00:11:31,869
That seems fair.
340
00:11:31,894 --> 00:11:33,494
- Louise!
- Ugh, okay.
341
00:11:33,519 --> 00:11:36,247
Crap. It should not
be this hard to find a cannonball
342
00:11:36,272 --> 00:11:37,606
from the War of 1812.
343
00:11:37,631 --> 00:11:39,841
I want to write an
angry letter to somebody.
344
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,849
Ken Burns, maybe? Damn it.
345
00:11:41,874 --> 00:11:43,536
Yeah, damn, damn, damn.
346
00:11:43,561 --> 00:11:45,539
And also if we could just
pick up the pace a bit.
347
00:11:45,564 --> 00:11:46,606
- Tina.
- What is it?
348
00:11:46,631 --> 00:11:47,950
Something that we can
walk and talk about?
349
00:11:47,975 --> 00:11:51,786
- Cannonball!
- Wait, seriously? I can't believe it.
350
00:11:51,811 --> 00:11:53,799
Yeah, sneaky little cannonball.
351
00:11:53,824 --> 00:11:55,052
Thought you could hide from me.
352
00:11:55,077 --> 00:11:58,145
Oh, it's stuck. Here,
help me dig around it.
353
00:11:58,170 --> 00:12:00,039
- Louise!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, the tide.
354
00:12:00,064 --> 00:12:01,558
I know. That's all you talk about now.
355
00:12:01,583 --> 00:12:03,401
Keep digging!
356
00:12:03,426 --> 00:12:04,811
I don't want to die,
I don't want to die.
357
00:12:04,835 --> 00:12:06,154
Saying that is super helpful.
358
00:12:06,179 --> 00:12:07,687
- Is it?
- No.
359
00:12:10,045 --> 00:12:12,442
I did it! I found it!
I'm the amazing girl
360
00:12:12,467 --> 00:12:14,372
who found a cannonball in a stinky cave.
361
00:12:14,397 --> 00:12:16,145
Congratulations, Louise. But you know
362
00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:18,327
what's a little more important
right now than that cannonball...
363
00:12:18,352 --> 00:12:20,920
- Air, and breathing it.
- Agree to disagree.
364
00:12:20,945 --> 00:12:24,301
- We have to go.
- Uh-uh, no way am I leaving this thing.
365
00:12:24,326 --> 00:12:25,475
She's my baby now.
366
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:27,294
Which makes you her aunt. Keep digging.
367
00:12:27,318 --> 00:12:28,887
Louise, it's wedged between the rocks.
368
00:12:28,911 --> 00:12:30,889
- Digging's not gonna help.
- Is that what they said
369
00:12:30,913 --> 00:12:32,445
when those raiders
discovered the lost Ark?
370
00:12:32,470 --> 00:12:34,392
No. So dig.
371
00:12:34,417 --> 00:12:36,417
Dig till our faces melt off!
372
00:12:36,584 --> 00:12:38,229
This is really not ideal.
373
00:12:38,254 --> 00:12:40,329
I like turning my head like this.
374
00:12:40,348 --> 00:12:42,796
I'm stretching out my neck.
Also, it's kind of like you're in prison
375
00:12:42,821 --> 00:12:43,993
and I've come to visit you.
376
00:12:44,018 --> 00:12:45,759
- Mm.
- Hey, Kathleen.
377
00:12:45,784 --> 00:12:47,444
- Hiya.
- Kathleen, you made it.
378
00:12:47,469 --> 00:12:49,102
Wow! Look at all this.
379
00:12:49,127 --> 00:12:52,116
It's fun, right? Welcome
to the Hurling Zone.
380
00:12:52,141 --> 00:12:53,824
Eh...
381
00:12:53,849 --> 00:12:55,267
- Do you like the banners?
- Yeah.
382
00:12:55,292 --> 00:12:56,774
- I don't think it's too many.
- No.
383
00:12:56,799 --> 00:12:58,813
I-I think it's the right
amount of banners. And those
384
00:12:58,838 --> 00:13:00,770
are some fellow hurling heads.
385
00:13:00,794 --> 00:13:03,087
Ooh, I think some of
them are from Ireland.
386
00:13:03,112 --> 00:13:04,947
- Do you know them?
- It's a pretty big country, Teddy.
387
00:13:04,972 --> 00:13:06,428
- Oh, wait, that's my dad.
- What?
388
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:08,056
- I'm kidding.
- Right, right.
389
00:13:08,081 --> 00:13:10,947
Could be a cousin though.
So, you folks watch hurling, then?
390
00:13:10,972 --> 00:13:12,672
- They do now.
- Yeah, we do.
391
00:13:12,697 --> 00:13:15,016
- Sports.
- We're-we're trying it out today
392
00:13:15,041 --> 00:13:16,975
and seeing how it goes.
I don't love the screen
393
00:13:17,051 --> 00:13:18,365
being where it is
394
00:13:18,390 --> 00:13:20,536
and I-I miss the way
things were before.
395
00:13:20,555 --> 00:13:22,943
- Oh.
- But, yeah, everything's fine.
396
00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:25,007
I miss the way things were before, too.
397
00:13:25,032 --> 00:13:25,955
When I could poop.
398
00:13:25,980 --> 00:13:27,320
- What?
- Don't look at me!
399
00:13:27,345 --> 00:13:28,947
- He's constipated.
- Just in my butt.
400
00:13:28,971 --> 00:13:31,714
- Uh, have a seat, Kathleen.
- Okay. Thank you.
401
00:13:31,739 --> 00:13:33,619
- Can you see okay?
- Yeah, sure.
402
00:13:33,644 --> 00:13:34,567
Is there any sound?
403
00:13:34,592 --> 00:13:36,241
It's coming out of the projector.
404
00:13:36,266 --> 00:13:37,393
If you're really quiet, you can hear it.
405
00:13:37,418 --> 00:13:39,944
- Shh, shh, shh. Do you hear it?
- Oh, yeah, there it is.
406
00:13:39,969 --> 00:13:40,968
Oh, it's starting.
407
00:13:40,993 --> 00:13:43,379
Look at those guys. Look at them hurl.
408
00:13:43,663 --> 00:13:45,555
Okay, I'm gonna pull. Move over.
409
00:13:45,580 --> 00:13:47,396
Quickly. They're gonna
be pulling us out of here
410
00:13:47,415 --> 00:13:49,415
- once we drown.
- Don't be so dramatic
411
00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:52,729
just because it might happen.
Hey, maybe we can pry it out.
412
00:13:52,754 --> 00:13:54,306
People pry stuff out of things, right?
413
00:13:54,330 --> 00:13:56,065
And another wave.
414
00:13:56,090 --> 00:13:57,885
We've got this, Tina. All that's left
415
00:13:57,909 --> 00:14:00,662
is to pop this sucker
out and skip to freedom.
416
00:14:00,687 --> 00:14:02,556
- I'm not very good at skipping.
- Aah!
417
00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:05,056
Just let go, cannonball. Come to me.
418
00:14:05,081 --> 00:14:07,250
I can take you away from all of this.
419
00:14:07,860 --> 00:14:10,586
Wow, look at them do what they're doing.
420
00:14:10,605 --> 00:14:12,657
I mean, I knew I was
gonna see some hurling,
421
00:14:12,681 --> 00:14:14,568
but I didn't know I
was gonna see hurling.
422
00:14:14,592 --> 00:14:17,328
Uh, yeah. Excuse me, I have to go
423
00:14:17,353 --> 00:14:18,572
to the restroom. I've been holding it in
424
00:14:18,596 --> 00:14:19,595
since, uh, I got here.
425
00:14:19,614 --> 00:14:20,987
Have fun in there.
426
00:14:21,012 --> 00:14:23,010
- Must be nice.
- It's just a wee.
427
00:14:23,035 --> 00:14:24,851
That's how they all start.
428
00:14:24,876 --> 00:14:25,911
- Guys.
- What?
429
00:14:25,936 --> 00:14:28,125
I'm so nervous.
I-I don't get this game at all.
430
00:14:28,150 --> 00:14:29,858
Does it seem like I know
what I'm talking about?
431
00:14:29,883 --> 00:14:32,441
- Oh, yeah.
- Really? Good, 'cause I'm freaking out.
432
00:14:32,460 --> 00:14:35,278
Why? It's going good. Right, Bob?
433
00:14:35,296 --> 00:14:36,462
Oh, oh, yeah.
434
00:14:36,487 --> 00:14:37,866
Um, from what I can see from under here,
435
00:14:37,891 --> 00:14:41,284
you're-you're not acting
too strangely at all.
436
00:14:41,309 --> 00:14:43,846
Uh, no. What? We don't want more fries.
437
00:14:43,871 --> 00:14:46,122
Always upselling the fries, these two.
438
00:14:46,140 --> 00:14:48,421
- Oh, I'll take more fries.
- Great. More fries, please.
439
00:14:48,459 --> 00:14:50,028
That's what I was
trying to tell you, Bob.
440
00:14:50,052 --> 00:14:52,128
- You got to learn to listen.
- Mm-hmm.
441
00:14:53,331 --> 00:14:54,922
Pull harder!
442
00:14:56,397 --> 00:14:58,715
Oh! Oh, oh, my butt.
443
00:14:58,817 --> 00:15:01,793
Tina, look. We did it!
444
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:04,041
Yeah, great. Let's go, let's
go, let's go, let's go, let's go.
445
00:15:04,186 --> 00:15:06,413
Ow. Butt. Ow. So heavy.
446
00:15:06,438 --> 00:15:08,621
Ow. Butt. Okay, dropping it.
447
00:15:08,646 --> 00:15:11,314
- Okay, picking it up again. Ow, ow,
- Faster.
448
00:15:11,332 --> 00:15:12,976
- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
- Faster, faster.
449
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,627
Oh, my butt. Oh, my butt.
450
00:15:14,652 --> 00:15:17,388
Okay, this crevice is
probably easier to jump over
451
00:15:17,413 --> 00:15:19,466
when you're not carrying
a heavy cannonball.
452
00:15:19,490 --> 00:15:21,157
I'm assuming. Stand back.
453
00:15:21,175 --> 00:15:22,749
I'm gonna shot-put this baby over.
454
00:15:22,769 --> 00:15:24,729
Wait, is that a good
idea? Oh, you're doing it.
455
00:15:24,753 --> 00:15:26,082
- Aah!
- Aah!
456
00:15:26,106 --> 00:15:28,809
No! My angel! Aah! I can't reach it.
457
00:15:28,833 --> 00:15:31,081
I can't even see it. Where did it go?
458
00:15:31,106 --> 00:15:32,900
I'm pretty sure it went down there.
459
00:15:32,925 --> 00:15:34,833
Is that not what you wanted to hear?
460
00:15:34,858 --> 00:15:36,491
- Aah!
- Guess not.
461
00:15:39,762 --> 00:15:43,784
- Louise, we have to go.
- No. I can swim down and get it.
462
00:15:43,809 --> 00:15:46,015
It's fine, I'm already
covered in stink water.
463
00:15:46,033 --> 00:15:48,010
Do you have any scuba gear? No?
464
00:15:48,035 --> 00:15:50,519
That crevice is so deep we
can't even see the bottom.
465
00:15:50,538 --> 00:15:52,536
The cannonball is gone. We have to go.
466
00:15:52,561 --> 00:15:53,612
- But...
- Now!
467
00:15:53,637 --> 00:15:56,047
Okay, fine.
468
00:15:56,424 --> 00:15:59,184
Let's go. Goodbye, stupid cannonball.
469
00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:00,703
You could have had a beautiful life.
470
00:16:00,728 --> 00:16:02,892
You could have been part
of show-and-tell history.
471
00:16:02,917 --> 00:16:06,142
Not just dumb old War of 1812 history.
472
00:16:06,467 --> 00:16:09,157
Up here.
473
00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:13,651
Okay, that was probably the last wave.
474
00:16:13,676 --> 00:16:15,392
Should we head back in?
475
00:16:16,356 --> 00:16:17,948
Yeah, never mind.
476
00:16:17,973 --> 00:16:21,027
Mmm. Oh, wow.
477
00:16:21,052 --> 00:16:22,551
It's like I'm nervous.
478
00:16:22,570 --> 00:16:24,031
Do you eat more when you're nervous?
479
00:16:24,055 --> 00:16:25,866
I mean, I'm not. I
don't. I mean, I don't.
480
00:16:25,890 --> 00:16:27,147
- Yeah, no.
- Uh, Linda.
481
00:16:27,167 --> 00:16:29,500
- Can we get more fries, please?
- Uh, sure.
482
00:16:29,525 --> 00:16:31,555
This is so much better than hockey.
483
00:16:31,579 --> 00:16:34,063
I-I can't even believe
I liked that garbage.
484
00:16:34,081 --> 00:16:35,464
And watched every game I could
485
00:16:35,489 --> 00:16:37,491
and I'm involved in a bunch
of fantasy hockey leagues.
486
00:16:37,510 --> 00:16:39,493
- Remind me to quit those.
- Okay.
487
00:16:39,512 --> 00:16:41,776
- How we doing on those fries, Bob?
- Coming up, Teddy.
488
00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:43,792
You literally just ordered them.
489
00:16:43,817 --> 00:16:46,161
- Uh-oh. Oh, no.
- Oh, boy.
490
00:16:46,186 --> 00:16:47,991
- Oh...
- I think we're gonna head out.
491
00:16:48,016 --> 00:16:49,045
- Thanks.
- Wait.
492
00:16:49,070 --> 00:16:50,160
Where are you guys going?
493
00:16:50,185 --> 00:16:52,983
It's just a bit hard to hear. And see.
494
00:16:53,008 --> 00:16:54,986
So we might watch the
rest at Julian's house.
495
00:16:55,010 --> 00:16:56,770
Uh, no, no, no. Don't leave.
496
00:16:56,795 --> 00:16:58,898
This is the Hurling
Zone. We're having fun.
497
00:16:58,923 --> 00:17:00,175
Hey, can you believe, uh,
498
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:01,993
how much those guys shortened the grip?
499
00:17:02,017 --> 00:17:04,093
You said that a few times today.
500
00:17:04,111 --> 00:17:05,913
I'm not sure you know what it means.
501
00:17:05,938 --> 00:17:08,967
- But, thanks. Bye.
- The grip. They shortened it.
502
00:17:08,992 --> 00:17:10,991
Damn it. No, wait. Don't you leave, too.
503
00:17:11,016 --> 00:17:12,736
I'll get better at hurling watching.
504
00:17:12,761 --> 00:17:14,194
I'll learn to love it and then we can
505
00:17:14,214 --> 00:17:15,925
have the same hobbies
and it'll be great.
506
00:17:15,950 --> 00:17:18,342
I was just getting up to
get more napkins, Teddy.
507
00:17:18,367 --> 00:17:19,920
Oh. Oh, good.
508
00:17:19,944 --> 00:17:22,531
Ah! Oh. Something's changed.
Opportunity's knocking.
509
00:17:22,556 --> 00:17:23,555
Time to take my shot.
510
00:17:23,580 --> 00:17:24,965
- Ow.
- Sorry.
511
00:17:24,990 --> 00:17:26,701
Excuse me. This is
bigger than all of us!
512
00:17:26,726 --> 00:17:29,354
Teddy, it seems like maybe you're trying
513
00:17:29,379 --> 00:17:31,713
way too hard for us
to like the same thing?
514
00:17:31,732 --> 00:17:34,693
- Damn it. Greasy fingers.
- But isn't that what people who
515
00:17:34,718 --> 00:17:36,810
may or may not want to spend more time
516
00:17:36,835 --> 00:17:38,231
with another person do?
517
00:17:38,256 --> 00:17:40,075
Because, I mean, in the past,
518
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:42,609
I've spent time with people where we had
519
00:17:42,634 --> 00:17:44,958
none of the same interests
and it didn't end great,
520
00:17:44,983 --> 00:17:45,982
'cause we got divorced.
521
00:17:46,007 --> 00:17:48,655
Teddy, I think it's fine
we have different interests.
522
00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:50,726
I like learning what
different stuff you like.
523
00:17:50,751 --> 00:17:52,871
And I already know
about what stuff I like.
524
00:17:52,896 --> 00:17:54,891
I don't even like some
of the stuff I like.
525
00:17:54,997 --> 00:17:56,307
- Come on.
- So, it's okay
526
00:17:56,331 --> 00:17:58,665
that I-I don't like
hurling very much? At all.
527
00:17:58,690 --> 00:18:00,720
And I can't seem to
follow it for some reason
528
00:18:00,744 --> 00:18:01,646
and it makes me angry?
529
00:18:01,671 --> 00:18:03,653
Of course it is. You're not Irish.
530
00:18:03,672 --> 00:18:06,581
We legally have to like
it. Linda, tell him.
531
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:08,578
Do you and Bob like all the same things?
532
00:18:08,602 --> 00:18:10,660
Oh, God, no. I like cool stuff
533
00:18:10,679 --> 00:18:12,116
and Bob likes working on that little
534
00:18:12,141 --> 00:18:14,294
model airplane for,
like, the last ten years.
535
00:18:14,319 --> 00:18:15,576
It hasn't been ten years.
536
00:18:15,601 --> 00:18:17,417
Wait, it might be longer.
537
00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:19,020
- Crap.
- See?
538
00:18:19,045 --> 00:18:20,802
You big, stupid dummy.
539
00:18:20,827 --> 00:18:22,741
So I get to keep all
my hockey embroidery art
540
00:18:22,766 --> 00:18:24,255
- from Etsy?
- Hell no.
541
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:26,434
- Okay.
- Teddy, of course you can.
542
00:18:26,453 --> 00:18:28,845
- Oh, thank God.
- Mom! Dad!
543
00:18:28,870 --> 00:18:30,537
The eagle has landed!
544
00:18:30,562 --> 00:18:32,553
I'm myself again. I'm
better than myself.
545
00:18:32,578 --> 00:18:34,458
I feel like I can do a cartwheel.
546
00:18:35,450 --> 00:18:38,832
- Nope, still can't do that.
- We're very happy for you, Gene.
547
00:18:38,857 --> 00:18:40,426
You put in the effort and you did it.
548
00:18:40,450 --> 00:18:42,612
You know, we don't have to
watch the second half, Teddy.
549
00:18:42,636 --> 00:18:44,430
It's-it's... it's just a beautiful game,
550
00:18:44,454 --> 00:18:46,842
- and kind of a metaphor for life.
- No, I want to.
551
00:18:46,867 --> 00:18:48,456
Now that I'm not pretending to like it,
552
00:18:48,475 --> 00:18:49,707
- I-I might actually like it.
- Oh, my God.
553
00:18:49,732 --> 00:18:51,793
You like it because it doesn't
make any sense, is that right?
554
00:18:51,812 --> 00:18:53,461
I will stick this fork in you, Teddy.
555
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,866
All right, all right.
Teach me something.
556
00:18:55,891 --> 00:18:57,995
Okay, the ball is called a sliotar.
557
00:18:58,020 --> 00:18:59,704
- Sleeter?
- Sliotar.
558
00:18:59,728 --> 00:19:01,523
- Shleeter.
- That's it. Kind of.
559
00:19:01,547 --> 00:19:02,970
I never was good at languages.
560
00:19:02,990 --> 00:19:05,182
Ugh. What a frickin' bust.
561
00:19:05,207 --> 00:19:08,682
No cannonball, my butt
hurts, I smell like a butt.
562
00:19:08,707 --> 00:19:10,306
I think I might not smell.
563
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,791
But it's hard to tell 'cause
I'm walking next to you.
564
00:19:12,816 --> 00:19:14,286
What the hell am I
gonna do for tomorrow?
565
00:19:14,311 --> 00:19:16,478
Hey, what if we made our own cannonball?
566
00:19:16,503 --> 00:19:17,819
No one knows what they really look like.
567
00:19:17,838 --> 00:19:20,080
We could paint a Skee-Ball
from Wonder Wharf.
568
00:19:20,105 --> 00:19:21,376
They'll never know the difference.
569
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:22,802
I could put some fake blood on it.
570
00:19:22,826 --> 00:19:24,879
Not sure if a cannonball
would have blood on it,
571
00:19:24,903 --> 00:19:25,971
just thinking out loud.
572
00:19:25,995 --> 00:19:27,328
You know, Louise, you could
573
00:19:27,348 --> 00:19:28,496
tell what really happened.
574
00:19:28,515 --> 00:19:31,022
Oh, what, Tina... that I failed?
575
00:19:31,047 --> 00:19:32,804
That I lost the cannonball,
576
00:19:32,829 --> 00:19:34,979
I got stinky sarguss-whatever on me,
577
00:19:35,004 --> 00:19:38,255
I bruised my butt? Everyone's
always talking about how cool
578
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:41,152
butt bruises are, right?
No, I'm not doing that.
579
00:19:41,177 --> 00:19:43,311
Real life Louise is too disappointing.
580
00:19:43,336 --> 00:19:45,913
Louise, I know you think
you've got to impress everybody,
581
00:19:45,938 --> 00:19:48,085
but I bet the kids in your
class would like to hear about
582
00:19:48,110 --> 00:19:50,070
the stuff that's maybe
a little embarrassing.
583
00:19:50,095 --> 00:19:52,687
Sometimes those stories are
even better than the stories
584
00:19:52,706 --> 00:19:55,210
where everything goes
right. 'Cause they're real.
585
00:19:55,235 --> 00:19:57,468
And because that kind of
stuff happens to everybody.
586
00:19:57,493 --> 00:20:00,194
I mean, there's probably not
always a cannonball involved,
587
00:20:00,214 --> 00:20:01,529
but sometimes, I'm assuming?
588
00:20:01,623 --> 00:20:03,440
And I hope you won't
take it too personally
589
00:20:03,465 --> 00:20:05,586
if I walk a few feet away from you.
590
00:20:05,611 --> 00:20:07,271
'Cause I mean, it is personal, um,
591
00:20:07,295 --> 00:20:08,536
from a hygienic standpoint,
592
00:20:08,561 --> 00:20:10,695
but, you know. You know what I mean.
593
00:20:12,736 --> 00:20:15,209
So, yeah, I tried,
594
00:20:15,229 --> 00:20:17,211
but I didn't get the cannonball,
595
00:20:17,236 --> 00:20:18,615
and... the end.
596
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:21,126
Of show-and-tell, for me, forever.
597
00:20:21,151 --> 00:20:23,437
Uh... so...
598
00:20:23,462 --> 00:20:24,644
What's that smell?
599
00:20:24,669 --> 00:20:27,602
It's called sargassum.
It's a stinky seaweed
600
00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:29,466
that I'm thinking of
selling to the government
601
00:20:29,484 --> 00:20:31,968
as a biological weapon.
602
00:20:32,127 --> 00:20:34,706
The cool part is you can
wash your hair five times,
603
00:20:34,731 --> 00:20:36,031
and it doesn't come out.
604
00:20:36,056 --> 00:20:38,134
But luckily, I love
the smell of fish farts,
605
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:39,712
so that works for me.
606
00:20:39,736 --> 00:20:41,713
Oh, and by the way, I also fell
607
00:20:41,738 --> 00:20:43,951
and hit my butt on a
rock. I have a bruise
608
00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:47,310
that looks sort of like
this. Like Australia.
609
00:20:47,335 --> 00:20:50,964
- Or "Ass-tralia?"
- Louise, don't say Ass-tralia.
610
00:20:50,989 --> 00:20:54,347
- And no butt drawings.
- Hey, no bruise shaming, Labonz.
611
00:20:54,427 --> 00:20:55,795
Does anybody else have a question?
612
00:20:55,827 --> 00:20:58,753
♪ One hand tackle
and a two hand catch ♪
613
00:20:58,772 --> 00:21:00,997
- ♪ Now we've got shemozzle ♪
- ♪ Got the... thing ♪
614
00:21:01,079 --> 00:21:03,320
- ♪ And we're leading the match, come on ♪
- ♪ Uh... ♪
615
00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:06,248
♪ Sitting on the town end,
no place I'd rather be ♪
616
00:21:06,273 --> 00:21:09,990
♪ If it's our fate to lose
then let's blame the referee ♪
617
00:21:10,015 --> 00:21:11,841
♪ You think your team can take us? ♪
618
00:21:11,860 --> 00:21:13,981
- ♪ Just look at the score ♪
- ♪ Dah-bah, dah-dah, score ♪
619
00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:17,340
♪ 'Cause we've been
winning since 1884 ♪
620
00:21:17,365 --> 00:21:21,229
♪ Yeah, we've been
winning since 1884 ♪
621
00:21:21,254 --> 00:21:23,254
♪ So, raise a glass
to the tip-top ♪
622
00:21:23,279 --> 00:21:24,674
♪ We'll never be knocked off ♪
623
00:21:24,699 --> 00:21:27,425
♪ And if you root for someone else ♪
624
00:21:27,450 --> 00:21:28,783
♪ Well, then you can just... ♪
625
00:21:28,802 --> 00:21:32,328
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --