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- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
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School again.
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Punching in for another
day of unpaid child labor
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before we go home and do
more unpaid child labor.
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I know, right? Multiply
this, spell that,
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build a pipe cleaner
model of that other thing.
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Oh, darn, I forgot
to do that last night.
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Where's Amnesty International
when you need 'em?
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I mean, probably somewhere
important. They're great.
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Teachers keep dishing it
out and we keep taking it.
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Fresh baked brownie? Blondie?
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Mmm. I was just handed a baked
good for some reason, but yeah.
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Hi, Tina! New shampoo?
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No, we had one squeeze of shampoo left,
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and we've been adding
water to it for a while.
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Hey, about my pipe cleaner
project, I kind of didn't do it.
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- Don't worry about it.
- Okay.
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Thanks for holding the
button, Mr. De Santo.
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Do I tip you or...
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- Looking good, Rudy.
- Good at what?
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What is h-happening?
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Are we at the right school?
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Hi, Louise!
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Whoa. That's a lot of
"hi," Ms. LaBonz. You okay?
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I'm fine.
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- How are you?
- Confused. Thank you.
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Decaf coffee, please, Linda.
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- Better make it a double.
- Something the matter, Mort?
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Eh, there was a big
brouhaha at the mortuary.
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A guy died without a
will and at the funeral
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a big fight broke out over who gets
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his autographed picture
of Patrick Swayze.
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You might say they were
going crazy for Swayze.
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Oh, no, that's terrible
to die without a will.
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It's not even that
great to die with one.
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Right. Yeah. Right.
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Glad I've got my affairs in order.
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Bob, do you want to know
what I'm leaving you?
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Um, can I just be surprised on the day?
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- It's not Christmas, Bob. Geez.
- Okay, fine, tell me.
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- Please don't say the arrowheads.
- My collection of arrowheads.
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Yeah. Um, even though
they're just kind of rocks?
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Most of them aren't even triangular.
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They could be arrowheads.
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- Anyway, it's ten boxes.
- Mm.
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I've been planning my funeral
ever since I was a kid,
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arranging grieving Playmobil
figures on the floor in rows.
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Aw, fun li'I Mort.
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So what about you guys...
Got all your I's dotted?
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- Uh, yeah, pretty dotted.
- Uh, s-sure, we've loosely...
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Oh, we don't have a will
or any of that dying stuff.
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- What?
- But we're gonna.
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We've just been too busy. Or tired.
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All the time, tired.
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But you haven't done anything?
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Not even the basics,
like deciding what I get?
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- Mm, not a basic?
- Ten boxes of arrowheads, Bob.
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Could go to Mort.
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- I like rocks.
- Never mind. Forget it.
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So, pop quiz.
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But relax, everyone. The answer
to every question is five.
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Just fill it out fast.
Five, five, five, five, five.
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Uh, why is there no
place to put our names?
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Because it's anonymous.
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- Why would it be anonymous?
- Work with me, Rudy.
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Five, five, five, five
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- and you get an A.
- Hold on,
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- this isn't a quiz. This is...
- Good morning, students.
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By now, you will have been given
your teacher evaluation forms.
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- Eh, poop.
- Which you will use to
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review your teachers. It's a new
process I'm calling Eval-You-Great.
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As I explained to Principal Spoors,
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everyone needs feedback to improve.
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Except principals. And
guidance counselors.
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Ten questions and a
comment section. Sweet mama.
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The evaluations are due back to me
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before the end of the day.
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And to make things fun,
teachers with the best scores
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will be assigned reserved
parking in the main lot,
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- right next to the school.
- Mmm, the main lot.
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And, remember, students,
these things are anonymous,
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so go nuts.
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Well done, Phillip. Great
announcement. Wait, how do I turn this
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off? It's this one, right?
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Time for Mr. Frond to hit the
john. It's pee-pee o'clock.
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Oh, press that button. Darn it!
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Wow. Ms. LaBonz, the kind
of evaluation I could write.
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I mean, you and I have some history.
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I'm a delightful rascal and
you're a... bit punish-y?
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Louise, stop.
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- No!
- Bad.
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- Awful!
- Principal's...
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- ... office...
- ... now!
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We have fun.
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There's also the recent
totally unfair grade you gave me
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on my animal habitat diorama.
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It was rock-solid B-minus work,
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and you gave it a C.
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Your diorama was a cotton
ball in a white shoebox.
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It's a polar bear in the snow.
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Simple but powerful.
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And you called it
"slapped-together," I believe?
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I can be blunt.
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On my last report card, you
said, "Don't quit your day job."
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This is my day job.
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You call us "this one" and "that one."
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And sometimes you call us "The Shining,"
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and I don't get the reference.
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I prayed this day would never come.
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So, we get to grade you?
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I don't know if I can do that,
because I'm not very judgy.
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Oh, wait, I am.
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I'm great at these. I
wrote an online review
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that got a barista fired for
spelling my name with an I.
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Uh, I don't think so.
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"Does your teacher explain new concepts
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in a way you understand?"
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Uh, Ms. Jacobson, could
you explain math again to me
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and I'll see if I get it?
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Yes. Okay.
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You guys like me, right?
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So let's get it on the page, huh?
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So I can park in a reserved space
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and get to the teachers' lounge
while the coffee's still hot.
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Or at least warm-ish.
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So you need an evaluation
that's catchy and blurb-worthy.
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Got it. "Ms. Twitchell's so good
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she makes learning almost worth it."
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Yes, that's great. Write that.
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So, let's go over this again.
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The school is here, and I park
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in the unpaved overflow
lot way over here.
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And I have to hike in
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like I'm freaking Reese
Witherspoon in that movie. It's far.
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So, please, be generous.
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Ms. LaBonz, can I get a bathroom pass?
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Mr. De Santo gave me a hit of
his hazelnut blend this morning
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and things are happening.
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How uncomfortable for you, Rudy.
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Of course you can.
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- Really?
- Usually you tell him to bite on an eraser
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and tough it out till recess.
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That doesn't sound like me at all.
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Well, now you sound... I think
"friendly" is what you're going for?
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But why don't you zip
through the evaluation first
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so it's off your plate and
then you can poop in peace.
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- That seems fair.
- Wait.
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Rudy, put your pencil down.
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The second we turn these in,
the teachers stop being nice.
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But Frond said they're not
due till the end of the day.
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Right now, we hold the cards.
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Today we do what we want.
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Movies instead of math.
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We confiscate the teachers' gum.
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And Rudy poops as he pleases!
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- I like that.
- Louise...
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Today we say, "Jump" and
the teachers say, "How high?"
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But they can't jump very high
'cause they're middle-aged
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but they still have to say "How high?"
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Get down this minute, Louise!
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I mean, good for you,
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climbing up there,
using the desk that way.
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Today we celebrate
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- our independence day!
- Oh, boy.
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Spread the word. Hang
on to these evaluations
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till the end of the day.
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We're maximizing power here.
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I get it. Leverage.
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Like how my stepmom
wouldn't marry my dad
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until he learned how to
control his crazy son.
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Now Cheryl and I are
tighter than a turtleneck.
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I think every class
today is gonna be dance.
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- Twirl it, baby!
- Hey, Coach Blevins,
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what are we doing in P.E. today?
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- Uh, we were gonna run laps today...
- Bup, bup, bup.
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But now I'm thinking
some light stretching
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and relaxing on the wrestling mats.
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Sounds good, Coach. See you there.
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If I feel like it.
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This is ridiculous.
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Respectable teachers shouldn't
be groveling for good scores
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by letting students run riot.
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This is all your fault,
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and one day there will be a reckoning.
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- Ms. LaBonz!
- You won't see me coming.
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I don't know, Louise. It feels like
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we're kind of taking
advantage of the system?
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Yeah. Isn't it great?
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I thought the whole point is to give
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constructive feedback
to help teachers improve.
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Like, sometimes Ms.
Jacobson doesn't erase
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the chalkboard that well and
I can see what was on there
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the day before and it's like
being in two moments of time
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at once and it hurts my head.
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No, Tina, the point is, today,
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00:07:04,067 --> 00:07:06,325
we're eating the
teachers' lunch. Literally.
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Unless their lunch is sad, like
a smushed sandwich or something.
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00:07:08,685 --> 00:07:10,202
Actually, I'd still eat it.
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I don't know, Bob.
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Maybe we should finally do
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some of this end-of-life
stuff planning.
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Or put it off until death is cured?
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Come on, let me help. This is what I do.
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We'll just write things
down on the back of a napkin.
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You can get a cheap lawyer
to make it all pretty later.
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Okay, it's slow right now.
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Maybe it'll be fun. I doubt it.
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All right! ♪ Makin'
plans for bein' dead! ♪
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Let's dive in with the
distribution of assets...
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Who gets what. And we don't
have to get through it all today.
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- We can chip away at it.
- We're just chipping away.
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- _
- Well, that didn't take long.
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God, we're poor.
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At least we didn't use
up too many napkins.
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What am I getting again, Mort?
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"For Teddy, any food left in fridge."
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Aw, guys. This means a lot.
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Let's move on to the next part,
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final disposition of remains.
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- The what of what?
- You want to be buried or cremated?
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00:07:53,968 --> 00:07:55,381
- Oh, that's easy.
- Yeah.
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- Cremated. -Buried.
- Wait, what?
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- Burn, baby, burn.
- Burial? - Uh-oh.
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But I-I thought we'd want to be,
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00:08:00,328 --> 00:08:02,749
you know, together some place forever.
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00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:04,049
But buried? Underground?
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00:08:04,074 --> 00:08:06,291
Bob, I don't even like
two blankets on the bed.
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00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:07,651
But cremation?
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00:08:07,670 --> 00:08:09,653
So you can fit in a cup?
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00:08:09,672 --> 00:08:11,482
A big cup. A nice cup.
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00:08:11,507 --> 00:08:12,823
- What's it called, Mort?
- Urn.
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00:08:12,841 --> 00:08:13,657
- No.
- Yes.
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00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:14,659
- Urn.
- It's "urn."
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00:08:14,751 --> 00:08:15,842
I'll think of it.
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00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:17,581
I'll get you some
brochures on both options.
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00:08:17,605 --> 00:08:20,497
You can discuss. And, remember,
this isn't life or death.
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It's just death.
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00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:23,758
- Eh.
- Jar? Bucket?
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00:08:23,778 --> 00:08:24,778
Body bucket?
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00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:25,686
♪ ♪
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Our top story, kids rule...
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And teachers drool.
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Oh, my gosh, that rhymes.
Yes, it's Teacher Evaluation Day.
244
00:08:32,781 --> 00:08:35,489
We're here with our TV
journalism teacher, Mr. Grant.
245
00:08:35,514 --> 00:08:38,159
- Gangbusters intro, girls.
- What's an intro?
246
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,184
So, where do you park?
247
00:08:39,276 --> 00:08:40,842
- The overflow lot.
- Sad.
248
00:08:40,867 --> 00:08:43,053
- Would you like to park in the good lot?
- God, yes.
249
00:08:43,078 --> 00:08:45,689
Mm. Then tell us what you think
of our ideas for news segments.
250
00:08:45,782 --> 00:08:47,615
- "Why school is dumb."
- Love it.
251
00:08:47,635 --> 00:08:49,543
- "What is ice, really?"
- Newsy.
252
00:08:49,637 --> 00:08:50,952
"What's up with my parents?"
253
00:08:50,972 --> 00:08:52,529
All amazing ideas.
254
00:08:52,548 --> 00:08:53,639
Yeah, we know.
255
00:08:53,790 --> 00:08:54,881
♪ ♪
256
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:56,200
♪ Kids rule ♪
257
00:08:56,218 --> 00:08:58,477
♪ And teachers drool ♪
258
00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:00,721
♪ Kids rule ♪
259
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:03,056
- ♪ And teachers drool. ♪
- _
260
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:06,443
♪ ♪
261
00:09:10,709 --> 00:09:14,900
- Still not satisfied.
- Yeah, I like our rebellious spirit,
262
00:09:14,925 --> 00:09:16,970
but it's harder to eat
lunch sitting on the table.
263
00:09:16,995 --> 00:09:18,759
It's like I need another table up here.
264
00:09:18,784 --> 00:09:21,425
No. I'm still annoyed by
the C Ms. LaBonz gave me
265
00:09:21,450 --> 00:09:22,932
on my polar bear project.
266
00:09:22,957 --> 00:09:25,487
Oh, you're still upset about
your shoebox diorama grade?
267
00:09:25,512 --> 00:09:27,603
Didn't you spend, like,
literally one minute on that?
268
00:09:27,628 --> 00:09:29,353
When I saw it, it still had shoes in it.
269
00:09:29,378 --> 00:09:31,393
It went over some people's heads, okay?
270
00:09:31,418 --> 00:09:33,175
But the real reason LaBonz gave me a C
271
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:34,941
is because she has it out for me.
272
00:09:34,966 --> 00:09:36,464
Maybe she just hates cotton balls?
273
00:09:36,489 --> 00:09:37,649
I mean, I think they're nice.
274
00:09:37,674 --> 00:09:39,432
Ugh, Tina, don't defend teachers.
275
00:09:39,457 --> 00:09:41,664
- They're teachers.
- Well, they're also people.
276
00:09:41,689 --> 00:09:43,971
- They have names and everything.
- I mean, last names.
277
00:09:43,996 --> 00:09:46,598
They might have first names,
but no one knows what they are.
278
00:09:46,645 --> 00:09:47,772
Here, Lin, look.
279
00:09:47,797 --> 00:09:50,555
A nice grassy double plot on a hill.
280
00:09:50,575 --> 00:09:53,576
Under an oak tree. It's
like a pretty picnic spot.
281
00:09:53,601 --> 00:09:56,027
It's just us, having a forever picnic.
282
00:09:56,052 --> 00:09:58,247
Yeah, Bob, here's my problem: worms.
283
00:09:58,272 --> 00:09:59,605
They're the ones having the picnic.
284
00:09:59,630 --> 00:10:01,809
Also, I'm a deep sleeper.
What if I'm not even dead
285
00:10:01,827 --> 00:10:04,955
and nobody poked me to make sure
before they stuck me down there?
286
00:10:04,980 --> 00:10:06,330
They probably have a poker.
287
00:10:06,355 --> 00:10:08,383
Also, cemeteries can be haunted.
288
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:10,426
Or, worse, we end up
with a bunch of goth punks
289
00:10:10,451 --> 00:10:12,618
hanging out on Halloween,
sitting on our tombstones,
290
00:10:12,643 --> 00:10:14,459
smoking cigarettes and making out.
291
00:10:14,484 --> 00:10:17,815
Okay, but our kids would have,
you know, some place to visit.
292
00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:19,264
Yeah, but you got to bring flowers,
293
00:10:19,289 --> 00:10:21,249
you got to keep your voice
down, you got to dress up.
294
00:10:21,274 --> 00:10:23,058
- Does that sound like our kids?
- Well...
295
00:10:23,083 --> 00:10:25,659
Plus, Gene, just standing
there, looking at our tombstone?
296
00:10:25,684 --> 00:10:27,017
You know he hates to read.
297
00:10:27,042 --> 00:10:29,583
I'd drop by. Probably.
How steep is the hill?
298
00:10:29,608 --> 00:10:31,090
But look at this.
299
00:10:31,115 --> 00:10:32,948
Ash scattering at sea.
300
00:10:32,973 --> 00:10:34,397
Ooh, or by airplane.
301
00:10:34,584 --> 00:10:36,842
It's like skywriting, only
instead of smoke, it's you.
302
00:10:37,029 --> 00:10:39,863
Ashes floating around
the world, being free,
303
00:10:39,888 --> 00:10:41,646
landing on an expensive car.
304
00:10:41,671 --> 00:10:42,895
Maybe a DeLorean.
305
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:44,270
We can finally travel.
306
00:10:44,295 --> 00:10:46,203
Wow! Fancy. And I knew you when.
307
00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:50,109
So if the kids want to visit us,
they can just go... everywhere?
308
00:10:50,134 --> 00:10:52,450
Fine. The kids can scatter
us some place they like.
309
00:10:52,470 --> 00:10:55,362
The couch. And we can put in
the will no farting on the couch.
310
00:10:55,381 --> 00:10:57,432
Well, that's not gonna
happen. So, burial.
311
00:10:57,457 --> 00:10:59,808
No. Cremation, then
landing on the DeLorean.
312
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:02,000
Bob, know when you've lost an argument.
313
00:11:02,025 --> 00:11:04,174
Finally the end of the day, huh?
314
00:11:04,199 --> 00:11:05,698
I hope you were generous.
315
00:11:05,723 --> 00:11:06,814
Hey...
316
00:11:06,839 --> 00:11:08,655
Andy and Ollie.
317
00:11:08,680 --> 00:11:10,187
God, I hope I got that right.
318
00:11:10,212 --> 00:11:11,177
Were you nice?
319
00:11:11,179 --> 00:11:12,488
- We were nice.
- Twice.
320
00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:13,897
Okay, bye-bye. Go home.
321
00:11:13,922 --> 00:11:16,423
- All right, Louise.
- It's time.
322
00:11:16,448 --> 00:11:17,785
You played ball, Ms. LaBonz.
323
00:11:17,810 --> 00:11:19,305
I guess I should go easy on you.
324
00:11:19,330 --> 00:11:21,162
And it's appreciated, Louise.
325
00:11:21,187 --> 00:11:24,372
I mean, I am a little hurt
over the diorama grade.
326
00:11:24,397 --> 00:11:27,221
That just felt, wow,
like it got personal.
327
00:11:27,246 --> 00:11:29,654
- Here we go.
- So why don't we pop open your grade book
328
00:11:29,674 --> 00:11:32,900
and you just bump that
baby up a notch to a B-minus
329
00:11:32,918 --> 00:11:34,084
and everybody wins.
330
00:11:34,178 --> 00:11:35,964
I'm not changing that grade, Louise.
331
00:11:35,989 --> 00:11:37,306
If it had been another kid,
332
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:38,550
maybe it would have been a B-minus.
333
00:11:38,574 --> 00:11:41,327
- But it was you, so...
- You admit it. You admit it!
334
00:11:41,352 --> 00:11:43,927
Oh, now it's evaluating time.
335
00:11:43,952 --> 00:11:45,193
Wait, let me finish.
336
00:11:45,218 --> 00:11:46,734
You know how you don't really try?
337
00:11:46,759 --> 00:11:49,674
- Not helping yourself.
- And you sort of phone everything in?
338
00:11:49,694 --> 00:11:52,586
LaBonz, the more you talk,
the angrier my pencil gets.
339
00:11:52,611 --> 00:11:54,300
- But I was just...
- Deh, deh, deh. Silence.
340
00:11:54,325 --> 00:11:56,175
When you're in a hole, stop digging.
341
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,091
Ratings: all ones.
342
00:11:58,116 --> 00:11:59,691
And now the comments.
343
00:11:59,716 --> 00:12:02,033
Looks like you're commenting a lot.
344
00:12:02,058 --> 00:12:04,091
Mm-hmm. Gonna need extra paper.
345
00:12:04,116 --> 00:12:05,599
That's probably not good.
346
00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:06,357
It's not.
347
00:12:06,377 --> 00:12:08,177
Is "Antichrist" hyphenated?
348
00:12:08,202 --> 00:12:09,702
No, it's one word.
349
00:12:12,644 --> 00:12:15,270
Mr. Frond, wait up. I got
my Ms. LaBonz evaluation.
350
00:12:15,294 --> 00:12:16,697
I wanted to hand it to you personally.
351
00:12:16,721 --> 00:12:18,779
- Here's a preview.
- Great.
352
00:12:18,797 --> 00:12:21,039
I'm putting them all in
this zipped messenger bag
353
00:12:21,058 --> 00:12:22,373
which never leaves my side.
354
00:12:22,393 --> 00:12:24,204
I got the idea from how
they guard the envelopes
355
00:12:24,228 --> 00:12:25,619
at the Academy Awards.
356
00:12:25,637 --> 00:12:27,781
- Pretty glamorous, huh?
- Perfect. Sounds secure.
357
00:12:27,806 --> 00:12:30,601
I've even tied a piece of yarn
from my wrist to the handle
358
00:12:30,626 --> 00:12:32,647
so I don't set it down
and leave it somewhere.
359
00:12:32,672 --> 00:12:33,885
Smart. Enough.
360
00:12:33,904 --> 00:12:35,225
For you. Now what happens?
361
00:12:35,250 --> 00:12:37,798
In a few minutes, I'll sit down
with each teacher one-on-one
362
00:12:37,816 --> 00:12:39,316
to go over the evaluations together.
363
00:12:39,341 --> 00:12:41,388
And, of course, I'll provide
compassionate counseling
364
00:12:41,412 --> 00:12:42,986
for the duds that get reamed.
365
00:12:43,011 --> 00:12:44,821
Someone's gonna need it.
366
00:12:44,846 --> 00:12:46,800
Okay. Whoa. See? It works.
367
00:12:46,825 --> 00:12:49,476
Well, in the end, I just
gave Ms. Jacobson all fives
368
00:12:49,478 --> 00:12:52,237
and I realized that it's not
her fault the erasers are bad.
369
00:12:52,256 --> 00:12:53,256
That's a budget issue.
370
00:12:53,281 --> 00:12:54,641
I was pretty nice, too.
371
00:12:54,666 --> 00:12:56,771
I wrote, "Twitchell... You'll
want to flunk sixth grade
372
00:12:56,796 --> 00:12:58,588
on purpose just to see her again."
373
00:12:58,613 --> 00:12:59,888
And I'm almost there.
374
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:02,247
Well, LaBonz messed with the
bull, so she got the horns.
375
00:13:02,266 --> 00:13:04,410
I even made a copy of
it to put on my wall.
376
00:13:04,435 --> 00:13:06,918
Hope it doesn't catch on fire
and burn down the whole house,
377
00:13:06,937 --> 00:13:08,385
'cause it's scorching.
378
00:13:08,410 --> 00:13:11,164
Wow, sounds like you went,
I want to say, way too far?
379
00:13:11,183 --> 00:13:13,154
What? No, Tina, I punched up.
380
00:13:13,179 --> 00:13:14,661
I'm a tiny schoolchild,
381
00:13:14,686 --> 00:13:17,854
and Ms. LaBonz is a rich and
powerful fourth grade teacher.
382
00:13:17,879 --> 00:13:19,114
Um, grade school teachers
383
00:13:19,139 --> 00:13:21,283
probably aren't that rich and powerful.
384
00:13:21,308 --> 00:13:23,320
Well, Mr. De Santo
has a pleather jacket.
385
00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:24,913
- Those aren't cheap.
- Also,
386
00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:27,531
I wonder what it'll be like for
Ms. LaBonz when she reads it.
387
00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:29,510
She'll probably just
raise her fist and say,
388
00:13:29,535 --> 00:13:31,713
"You've bested me this time, Louise!"
389
00:13:31,738 --> 00:13:33,588
I don't know. Why don't
you pretend I'm her
390
00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:34,521
and read it to me?
391
00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:35,856
- What?
- Just read it.
392
00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:37,623
Wait, hold on. I got
to get into character.
393
00:13:37,648 --> 00:13:39,808
Am I doing her voice
right? Yeah, that's it.
394
00:13:39,833 --> 00:13:42,184
Okay, I'm just gonna
give you a few highlights.
395
00:13:42,209 --> 00:13:44,892
"Ms. LaBonz is so burned-out
that when she burps,
396
00:13:44,917 --> 00:13:46,768
- she sets off smoke alarms."
- Oh.
397
00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:49,794
Um... "She taught us about fossils.
398
00:13:49,814 --> 00:13:50,962
By being one."
399
00:13:50,981 --> 00:13:52,222
- Wow.
- Forg...
400
00:13:52,247 --> 00:13:54,685
You know what, forget
that part. Um, um...
401
00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:57,440
"Ms. LaBonz is so boring,
if she was a color,
402
00:13:57,465 --> 00:13:58,689
"she'd be off-beige.
403
00:13:58,714 --> 00:13:59,988
"She's huffy and stuffy.
404
00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:01,283
- She's... "
- Oh...
405
00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:04,614
Why isn't this fun?!
I did the right thing.
406
00:14:04,639 --> 00:14:07,139
Okay. Now you be Lady
Gaga and I'll be Mom.
407
00:14:07,164 --> 00:14:10,315
It's a conversation I've
always been curious about.
408
00:14:10,478 --> 00:14:12,144
Lin, I've been in Mort's crematorium.
409
00:14:12,169 --> 00:14:13,530
It's sad and scary
410
00:14:13,555 --> 00:14:16,148
and kind of the opposite
of resting in peace.
411
00:14:16,173 --> 00:14:18,236
Bob, maybe we just agree to disagree
412
00:14:18,261 --> 00:14:19,393
and each do our own thing.
413
00:14:19,418 --> 00:14:21,298
You get your dirt and
your trees and your worms.
414
00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:22,752
I get the sky and the sea.
415
00:14:22,847 --> 00:14:25,330
Okay, fine, I guess I'll
just be alone for eternity.
416
00:14:25,349 --> 00:14:27,240
Or, who knows, maybe someone interesting
417
00:14:27,265 --> 00:14:29,023
will get buried next
to me and, you know,
418
00:14:29,048 --> 00:14:32,262
we'll hit it off and
hang out. Both dead.
419
00:14:32,287 --> 00:14:33,815
Are you trying to make me jealous?
420
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:35,184
He's kind of making me jealous.
421
00:14:35,209 --> 00:14:37,309
I'm just gonna be open
to whatever happens.
422
00:14:37,676 --> 00:14:40,488
Hello, Bob, Linda. It's the
first of the month somewhere.
423
00:14:40,513 --> 00:14:41,588
Ha! Pay me rent.
424
00:14:41,613 --> 00:14:43,250
Oh, hi, Mr. Fischoeder.
425
00:14:43,275 --> 00:14:44,608
Is it the first already?
426
00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:46,530
Yes, somewhere. And here.
427
00:14:46,555 --> 00:14:48,238
What's this, cemetery brochures?
428
00:14:48,263 --> 00:14:50,263
You're not planning on dying, are
you, to skip out on the rent?
429
00:14:50,282 --> 00:14:53,775
- The old die-and-dash?
- No, nobody's dying, Mr. Fischoeder.
430
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:56,021
-We all die, Bob.
-I'll tell you my death plan. I'm getting
431
00:14:56,046 --> 00:14:58,970
a little consortium of fun
and flirty dead people together
432
00:14:58,995 --> 00:15:02,442
and our mortal remains will
be tossed into and purified by
433
00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:05,129
- an active volcano.
- Ooh, which volcano?
434
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:07,487
We're still looking around.
It'll be one of the better ones.
435
00:15:07,512 --> 00:15:08,425
Love it. I'm in.
436
00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:09,450
- Oh, my God.
- Me, too.
437
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:12,941
- Where do I sign up?
- Ooh, no, no and no.
438
00:15:13,870 --> 00:15:17,457
Oh. Ms. LaBonz, I thought you'd
be headed down to Mr. Frond's office.
439
00:15:17,476 --> 00:15:19,443
I've got to go to my car
to get something first,
440
00:15:19,468 --> 00:15:21,525
and by "something," I
don't mean nicotine gum
441
00:15:21,550 --> 00:15:24,072
that I need more than anything
else in the world right now.
442
00:15:24,097 --> 00:15:26,126
Well, I'm just getting
my diorama to take home.
443
00:15:26,151 --> 00:15:27,484
It's our only cotton ball, so...
444
00:15:27,636 --> 00:15:30,056
By the way, Louise, what I
was trying to say before...
445
00:15:30,081 --> 00:15:32,656
The reason I gave you the
crummy grade on the diorama.
446
00:15:32,681 --> 00:15:34,957
- I know.
- It's because you're very bright.
447
00:15:34,982 --> 00:15:36,977
- Wha-What?
- But you don't work hard.
448
00:15:36,995 --> 00:15:40,791
I need to motivate you.
I've noticed that anger and vengeance
449
00:15:40,816 --> 00:15:44,128
- really get your motor running.
- Doesn't sound like me.
450
00:15:44,153 --> 00:15:45,462
And it worked, right?
451
00:15:45,487 --> 00:15:47,367
Your next assignment...
The oral presentation...
452
00:15:47,392 --> 00:15:49,984
That was a solid A-minus. Remember?
453
00:15:50,009 --> 00:15:51,802
And that concludes my report.
454
00:15:51,827 --> 00:15:55,920
And now would anyone care for
Latvia's popular savory pastry,
455
00:15:55,940 --> 00:15:57,232
piradzini?
456
00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:59,510
I did not work harder on that.
457
00:15:59,535 --> 00:16:01,328
I had a lot of soda
and I couldn't sleep.
458
00:16:01,353 --> 00:16:04,463
And we happened to have all
the ingredients for piradzini!
459
00:16:04,488 --> 00:16:05,504
I'm just saying,
460
00:16:05,529 --> 00:16:06,862
I still have a few moves, huh?
461
00:16:06,887 --> 00:16:09,113
So she made me get an A-minus?
462
00:16:09,138 --> 00:16:10,584
That rat.
463
00:16:10,609 --> 00:16:12,281
Maybe LaBonz is...
464
00:16:12,306 --> 00:16:14,473
Actually kind of an okay teacher?
465
00:16:14,498 --> 00:16:17,212
And person? If teachers
are, in fact, people.
466
00:16:17,237 --> 00:16:19,311
I mean, Gene and I both
had her for fourth grade,
467
00:16:19,336 --> 00:16:20,906
and she really got us
to step up our game.
468
00:16:20,930 --> 00:16:22,976
Wait, you guys used to
be... worse students?
469
00:16:23,001 --> 00:16:25,050
Oh, yeah. I didn't do school so good.
470
00:16:25,075 --> 00:16:26,692
Now I do school not so bad.
471
00:16:26,717 --> 00:16:29,347
There she goes, walking
out to the overflow lot.
472
00:16:29,372 --> 00:16:31,847
And walking. And walking.
473
00:16:31,872 --> 00:16:34,993
Crap. I don't want Ms. LaBonz
to see my evaluation now.
474
00:16:35,018 --> 00:16:36,035
It's... not nice.
475
00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:38,612
Getting smaller.
Crossing the train tracks.
476
00:16:38,637 --> 00:16:40,660
Should she have just
taken the train there?
477
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:43,691
- It's actually just mean.
- Ooh, there's a big puddle in her way.
478
00:16:43,716 --> 00:16:45,953
- She's thinking.
- Maybe even nasty.
479
00:16:45,978 --> 00:16:48,347
Is she turning around?
No, she's gonna jump it!
480
00:16:48,372 --> 00:16:51,041
- Running and...
- Oh! So close.
481
00:16:51,066 --> 00:16:52,610
I got to get that evaluation back.
482
00:16:52,635 --> 00:16:53,985
Is that dog attacking her?
483
00:16:54,010 --> 00:16:55,988
Never mind. She fought it off.
484
00:16:58,722 --> 00:17:01,952
Hey, Mr. Frond, I, uh, need
to take back my evaluation.
485
00:17:01,977 --> 00:17:03,881
It has curse words in it, and
I know how delicate you are.
486
00:17:03,973 --> 00:17:05,122
Louise, stop.
487
00:17:05,141 --> 00:17:06,807
Once an evaluation
goes into the system...
488
00:17:06,832 --> 00:17:09,620
Which is my canvas
messenger bag... that's it.
489
00:17:09,645 --> 00:17:11,645
Plus, see all these poor saps waiting?
490
00:17:11,670 --> 00:17:14,108
Sor-Sorry, Mr. De Santo.
Maybe you'll be fine.
491
00:17:14,133 --> 00:17:16,558
- But I have to get...
- No, get your paws out of there.
492
00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:18,244
Well, uh, while we have you,
493
00:17:18,269 --> 00:17:20,605
Gene had a weird dream
he needs analyzed.
494
00:17:20,630 --> 00:17:23,641
Actually, I did. I dreamt
I had hair down to my butt
495
00:17:23,659 --> 00:17:25,476
and I could swing it
like nobody's business
496
00:17:25,501 --> 00:17:26,879
and heads were a-turnin'.
497
00:17:26,904 --> 00:17:28,254
Wow. But I don't have time.
498
00:17:28,279 --> 00:17:30,933
Tina, you needed some emergency
counseling, didn't you?
499
00:17:30,958 --> 00:17:33,484
Uh, I'm afraid books
are going to miss me
500
00:17:33,519 --> 00:17:35,646
when I finish reading them.
Should I be worried I think that?
501
00:17:35,671 --> 00:17:36,671
Probably.
502
00:17:36,696 --> 00:17:37,971
Let's do this, Coach Blevins.
503
00:17:37,996 --> 00:17:39,725
Oh, my God, I think I'm gonna be sick.
504
00:17:39,750 --> 00:17:41,675
I've got a trash can.
You can puke in that.
505
00:17:41,700 --> 00:17:42,933
Been there.
506
00:17:43,846 --> 00:17:45,086
So, any progress?
507
00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:47,088
Are you gonna be my
customers for a change?
508
00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:48,849
Calm down, Mort.
They're still deadlocked.
509
00:17:48,874 --> 00:17:51,023
Hey! "Deadlocked." You
can use that if you want.
510
00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:52,923
I think we're just not
gonna figure it out today.
511
00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:55,614
So we're back to plan B...
Don't get hit by a bus.
512
00:17:55,639 --> 00:17:58,502
No. You know what? Whatever
we do after we're gone, Lin,
513
00:17:58,527 --> 00:18:00,281
I just want it to be together.
514
00:18:00,306 --> 00:18:02,748
So, if you want your ashes
spread somewhere crazy
515
00:18:02,773 --> 00:18:05,124
or you want to be thrown into a volcano,
516
00:18:05,149 --> 00:18:06,224
that's what I want, too.
517
00:18:06,249 --> 00:18:07,699
I just want to be with you.
518
00:18:07,724 --> 00:18:09,082
Even if we're dead.
519
00:18:09,107 --> 00:18:12,516
Aw, Bobby. Hey, maybe
being buried isn't so bad.
520
00:18:12,541 --> 00:18:14,616
It'd kind of be like laying
around in bed Sunday mornings
521
00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:15,859
before the kids were born, right?
522
00:18:15,878 --> 00:18:17,429
Yeah, but what about the worms?
523
00:18:17,454 --> 00:18:19,120
Well, maybe they'll eat
you first and be like,
524
00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:21,882
"Eh, this place sucks.
Let's try another cemetery."
525
00:18:21,907 --> 00:18:23,936
Thanks, Lin. I-I think.
526
00:18:23,961 --> 00:18:25,627
No pressure, but here are some prices
527
00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:27,554
if you want to lock in
now and beat inflation.
528
00:18:27,698 --> 00:18:29,473
- Oh, my God.
- That's for two?
529
00:18:29,498 --> 00:18:31,150
We're not buying the whole row!
530
00:18:31,175 --> 00:18:32,863
Forget it. We'll never afford that.
531
00:18:32,888 --> 00:18:34,538
You know, I-I got a pretty big yard.
532
00:18:34,563 --> 00:18:35,470
- What?
- Go on.
533
00:18:35,564 --> 00:18:38,200
- Is there a shade tree?
- No but there are some huge dandelions.
534
00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:40,809
- So illegal.
- We're just joking, Mort.
535
00:18:40,834 --> 00:18:43,528
- We're not gonna do it.
- I see you winking.
536
00:18:43,553 --> 00:18:45,141
Not terrible scores, Coach.
537
00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:46,810
I really thought someone
would bring up your breath.
538
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:48,575
There's something the
matter with my breath?
539
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,772
No... So, uh, who's next?
540
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,130
Ms. LaBonz, let's do you.
541
00:18:52,155 --> 00:18:53,655
- Okay.
- Mr. Frond, can I just have one minute?
542
00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:55,473
Go away, Louise.
543
00:18:55,498 --> 00:18:57,751
Leave school! Can't
believe I have to say that.
544
00:18:57,776 --> 00:19:00,201
What do we do? I need to
get in there and explain.
545
00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:01,404
Message in a bottle?
546
00:19:01,429 --> 00:19:02,906
Carrier pigeon? Regular pigeon?
547
00:19:02,931 --> 00:19:04,735
Start a rumor, hope it spreads in there?
548
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:06,223
Wait. There is a way.
549
00:19:06,248 --> 00:19:08,147
All right, let's just
start plowing through these.
550
00:19:08,171 --> 00:19:11,892
Wow. Uh, this person
had a lot to say. Whew.
551
00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:14,418
I'm just gonna move this
box of tissues closer to you.
552
00:19:14,436 --> 00:19:15,419
No reason.
553
00:19:15,437 --> 00:19:16,695
Let's get it over with.
554
00:19:16,847 --> 00:19:19,393
"Ms. LaBonz is so burned-out... "
555
00:19:19,418 --> 00:19:21,085
Hi, I'm an anonymous student
556
00:19:21,110 --> 00:19:23,564
- with an updated evaluation.
- What?
557
00:19:23,588 --> 00:19:25,291
- Huh?
- And if I sound like
558
00:19:25,315 --> 00:19:28,265
someone you know, I'm not.
Anyway, please disregard the evaluation
559
00:19:28,284 --> 00:19:29,542
with the amazing zings.
560
00:19:29,567 --> 00:19:30,853
That one got out by mistake.
561
00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:33,028
- I may have been hacked.
- Pesky Russians.
562
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:34,788
My real review is that,
563
00:19:34,813 --> 00:19:37,418
sure, Ms. LaBonz is grizzled and grumpy
564
00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:39,453
and coughs on you while
you're taking tests.
565
00:19:39,478 --> 00:19:42,446
But underneath that rough
exterior, there's a...
566
00:19:42,464 --> 00:19:45,949
soft chewy center that does a
pretty good job teaching and...
567
00:19:45,968 --> 00:19:48,786
brings out the best in her students.
568
00:19:48,879 --> 00:19:52,289
So, on a one-to-five
scale, I'm giving her,
569
00:19:52,308 --> 00:19:54,458
across the board, sixes.
570
00:19:54,483 --> 00:19:55,619
It's a rave!
571
00:19:55,644 --> 00:19:58,053
LaBonz, you sly fox.
572
00:19:58,078 --> 00:19:59,728
Six? There's no six.
573
00:19:59,890 --> 00:20:01,481
What are you looking at?
574
00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:03,058
And, Mr. Frond, you're a three.
575
00:20:03,077 --> 00:20:04,726
- On a good day.
- Hey.
576
00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:06,614
And I am, again, anonymous.
577
00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:08,115
You don't know who I am.
578
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:10,349
Or who we are, in case we're
not supposed to be in here.
579
00:20:10,374 --> 00:20:12,211
I think I turned it off. Good job, Louise.
580
00:20:12,235 --> 00:20:14,497
You did, Tina. You
totally turned it off.
581
00:20:14,522 --> 00:20:15,671
Thanks, Gene.
582
00:20:16,142 --> 00:20:18,050
So, back to just a normal school day.
583
00:20:18,075 --> 00:20:20,127
Reading, writing and
what's that third one?
584
00:20:20,152 --> 00:20:21,380
Oh, yeah, the Eurythmics.
585
00:20:21,405 --> 00:20:23,889
I don't want to face LaBonz today.
586
00:20:23,914 --> 00:20:26,307
I mean, who knows if my
intercom evaluation even counted?
587
00:20:26,416 --> 00:20:28,211
Move it, if you don't
588
00:20:28,235 --> 00:20:30,828
want to be three wet spots
wearing backpacks.
589
00:20:30,846 --> 00:20:32,783
Ms. LaBonz, you got the main lot!
590
00:20:32,808 --> 00:20:35,309
Principal Spoors heard your evaluation.
591
00:20:35,334 --> 00:20:36,334
I mean, who didn't?
592
00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:38,101
He bumped me up. So...
593
00:20:38,126 --> 00:20:39,792
- thank you, Louise.
- You're welcome.
594
00:20:39,817 --> 00:20:41,926
I mean, I don't even know
what you're talking about.
595
00:20:42,169 --> 00:20:44,151
Uh, I'll see you inside.
596
00:20:44,176 --> 00:20:45,456
And I won't be paying attention.
597
00:20:45,481 --> 00:20:48,224
I won't even notice 'cause
I'll be gazing out the window
598
00:20:48,249 --> 00:20:49,847
at my new parking space.
599
00:20:49,865 --> 00:20:52,273
Oh, and my next project is
going to be extra terrible.
600
00:20:52,293 --> 00:20:54,609
Don't go to any special trouble, Louise.
601
00:20:54,629 --> 00:20:56,353
- I never do.
- We'll see.
602
00:20:56,372 --> 00:20:57,999
- We will see.
- They're gonna miss the bell.
603
00:20:58,023 --> 00:21:00,633
- And all of school, maybe?
- Yeah, get a classroom.
604
00:21:00,784 --> 00:21:02,784
♪ I'll be tossed in a volcano ♪
605
00:21:02,803 --> 00:21:05,137
♪ When I'm dead, how can I say no? ♪
606
00:21:05,364 --> 00:21:07,047
♪ It's explosive, it's expansive ♪
607
00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:09,457
♪ It's exclusive and it's new ♪
608
00:21:09,551 --> 00:21:11,345
♪ It'll be so nice to think ♪
609
00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:13,370
♪ That I'll never be extinct ♪
610
00:21:13,441 --> 00:21:17,534
♪ So much harder
to forget than you ♪
611
00:21:17,559 --> 00:21:19,877
♪ Yes, I'll be around ♪
612
00:21:19,895 --> 00:21:21,654
♪ I'll be the hot
new thing in town ♪
613
00:21:21,805 --> 00:21:23,972
♪ Unlike you and you and you ♪
614
00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:25,824
♪ I'll be around ♪
615
00:21:25,976 --> 00:21:29,662
♪ Unlike you, Bob, I'll be around. ♪
616
00:21:31,038 --> 00:21:36,038
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --