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- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
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All right, beach clean-up people.
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The first ever Wagstaff Volunteer Day
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is about to begin.
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I just gave this little
speech to the sidewalk
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gum-scrapers, but
I'll say it again here.
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Yes, all of this was my idea.
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One day I drove past
a busload of prisoners
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picking up trash and I thought,
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"What about that, but
for schoolchildren?"
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And Wagstaff Mandatory
Volunteer Day was born.
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Wow, I'm glad you didn't
drive by something way worse.
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Like a CrossFit.
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Everyone stay in line.
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I'll be right back, I
just have to go potty.
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Maybe I shouldn't volunteer that info.
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Hmm? All right, whatever.
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Beach clean-up, huh, guys?
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Did we pick the best activity or what?
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Uh, yeah, duh.
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Do you think it'll be like
cleaning up at the restaurant?
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Because I am pretty good at that.
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I mean, it's not more
greasy after you clean.
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Sucks to be those kids.
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They waited too long and
now they have to shelve
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books at the public library.
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Ew. Ew to books, ew to all of it.
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I mean, public library could be cool.
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Yeah, the library has magazines.
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Maybe we should've
picked the library, Zeke.
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- Nah, J-Ju.
- I'm second-guessing.
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Look at me. Stay strong, girl.
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Guys, it's no contest.
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This beach clean-up is
literally a day at the beach.
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High-five, pelican, high-five.
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Okay, everyone, load up.
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Nothing beats doing good while
not doing much, huh, guys?
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Should we send our jacket
sizes to the Nobel Prize people?
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I assume the winners get jackets?
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Okay, Teddy.
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- See you soon.
- What was that about?
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Teddy called to say he's almost here.
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So, now he calls to
tell us he's coming in?
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Yeah, he says he's coming
in to eat, and also get ready
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- for something exciting.
- Oh, God. What could that mean?
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If I wanted exciting, I would've gone
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to the falafel place for lunch.
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They have a very large fish tank.
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You know, Teddy hasn't
been in in like two weeks.
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I hope he didn't join a cult.
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I mean, it's amazing he's gone
this long without joining one.
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What the...
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Bob. Linda. You're
there, probably, right?
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- It's me. Teddy. Oof.
- Hi, Teddy.
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- Oh. Hello, Mort.
- Teddy, why are you doing that?
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'Cause of the surprise.
You're gonna love it.
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Wait, is Mort sitting on my stool?
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- No...
- Teddy.
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Just give us the surprise
before you break something, okay?
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You asked for it. Ta-da.
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- Whoa.
- I know, right?
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- You grew a mustache?
- Freddie Mercury, meet Teddy Mercury.
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Always got to bring it back
to a dead person, huh, Mort?
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What? No. Do I do that?
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- So what do you think?
- I like it.
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- It's good. It's facial hair.
- Thanks.
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Guess I'll be ordering
burgers for two from now on.
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Huh, Bobby?
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Uh, yep. Could you stop stroking it?
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- It's-it's hard to watch.
- Yeah. Little bit.
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- Sorry, sorry.
- Thanks.
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- How do you not touch it, you know?
- Mm.
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Uh-oh. I'm doing it again, aren't I?
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- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm, yep.
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Is everyone excited about
helping their community?
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When I say "helping,"
you say "my community."
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Helping.
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Can we be the ones who say "helping"?
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Yeah, I want to say "helping."
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- What? No.
- Helping.
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Don't... I did not authorize that, Zeke.
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Helping. Wait, what are we doing?
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Okay, never mind. Sit
quietly, we're almost there.
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Mm, we are gonna look
so good picking up trash.
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We're gonna look amazing in
our selfies. Of ourselves.
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We're gonna inspire so many
less hot people to pick up trash.
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You already inspired me to
want to jump out the window
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while the bus is moving.
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And we're here. Everybody out.
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Get ready for an easy,
breezy beach day, people.
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You said it, sister.
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Oh.
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Are those underpants
tangled in fishing line?
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Don't touch those.
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- Oh, no.
- Biggest cleaning challenge ever?
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Meet Tina. We're gonna
get along just fine.
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No, no, no, no, no.
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Okay, listen up, you will sort all trash
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into recyclables, non-recyclables,
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and a third category
we'll call "unspeakables."
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Which brings me to gloves.
Trust me, wear the gloves.
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Gimme, gimme, gimme! These make it seem
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like I'm really doing this.
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You are doing this.
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- Right.
- Okay, get to it.
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If you need me, I'll be over
there, watching like a hawk
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but also making a quick
call to the cable company.
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I'm somehow being charged
for three cable boxes.
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Has that happened to any of you? No?
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It's a filthy cold garbage beach.
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It wasn't supposed to be like this.
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I was gonna high-five a pelican.
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More fishing line undies.
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What's with these fish
losing their underwear?
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What the heck was I thinking?
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I live here. I forgot how
horrible our town is. Blech.
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Are you sure you're not
just excited about how fun
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and difficult this is gonna be?
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Oh, hey, look, a hermit
crab. Fun already.
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Cool crab fact, they're
not actually hermits.
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- They're pretty social.
- This is no time
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for your aquarium mumbo jumbo, Tina.
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Yeah, enough of your crab-aganda.
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They also change their
shells when they outgrow them.
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Like me and shoes every two months.
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I wish I could change shells.
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I'd change into the shell
of a kid who didn't have
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to clean this friggin' beach.
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00:05:03,905 --> 00:05:05,419
Oh, shell yes.
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Question about my bill.
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Question. About. My bill.
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Am I not saying that clearly?
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I told you I don't have any food.
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Looks like you made a friend, Gene.
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I guess I drop a lot of food
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when I come to Wonder Wharf
and the gulls have noticed.
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I don't have anything right now.
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- Don't look at me like that.
- Ugh. Soda cups. Paper plates.
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- This is all stuff from Wonder Wharf.
- Look, Zeke.
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The wrapper for a foot-long taco dog.
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Oh, man, that's making me hungry.
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Comes with that chunky
cheese dippin' sauce.
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Mmm, chunky.
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Give me the wrapper.
I want to smell it.
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00:05:34,949 --> 00:05:36,759
And the seagull also wants to smell it.
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I just put it in my trash bag.
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00:05:38,142 --> 00:05:40,112
Ah, fine. He's got nothing for us.
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- Hey, Mickey.
- Bunny Ears.
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Are you small or are you just far away?
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00:05:44,137 --> 00:05:46,786
Both. Hey, you still
work at the wharf, right?
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Yep, until my ship comes in.
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- I applied to work on a ship.
- Why aren't Wonder Wharf people
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picking up all this Wonder Wharf trash?
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I don't know. Ask Mr. Fischoeder.
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- He's right next to you.
- Ooh. Yes, he is. Hi.
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Please stop badgering my employee.
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Carnies are delicate creatures.
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00:06:02,251 --> 00:06:04,734
Interaction with the
outside world confuses them.
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00:06:04,754 --> 00:06:07,817
- Hi, Mr. Fischoeder.
- Hi, whichever one you are.
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You're late, I assume. Go to work.
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Quick, but have fun.
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Ah, the lovely, stinky ocean.
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Just out for my daily salt-stitutional.
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Salty sea air keeps me
well-preserved, like a ham hock.
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Mr. Fischoeder. Look at this.
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All this trash is from Wonder Wharf.
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And now I have to pick
it up because school is
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making me because they're monsters.
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00:06:27,259 --> 00:06:29,668
Now, now, there's no way to
know where that trash comes from.
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It could be from anywhere.
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"From the desk of Calvin Fischoeder."
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It's a very common name.
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How do I know it's not from your desk?
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Maybe you're Calvin Fischoeder.
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00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:39,575
Anyway, thanks for all
the free child labor.
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It's the best kind of labor, after all.
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You're not welcome. I
mean, shouldn't you be
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paying to clean this up?
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00:06:44,582 --> 00:06:46,364
Some would say so, but people keep
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00:06:46,389 --> 00:06:47,830
volunteering to do it for me.
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School groups, do-gooders.
You know, squares.
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Now excuse me, I have to de-salt
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before I attend to my wharf duties.
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Mmm. Yes, I might
have overdone it today.
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Hmm, wait. If volunteers like us
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00:07:00,810 --> 00:07:03,414
didn't clean the beach,
then nobody would?
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00:07:03,439 --> 00:07:05,848
And everyone would blame you and be mad?
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00:07:05,873 --> 00:07:07,669
I don't like where this is going.
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00:07:07,694 --> 00:07:10,536
I think what I need is some
motivation, like, I don't know,
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00:07:10,561 --> 00:07:12,711
a free foot-long taco dog?
191
00:07:12,713 --> 00:07:15,325
Now, if I gave you an FLTD,
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00:07:15,350 --> 00:07:16,783
I'd have to give one to everyone.
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00:07:16,808 --> 00:07:19,411
Well... yeah. So, how 'bout it?
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00:07:19,436 --> 00:07:21,812
You're a pesky garbage
urchin, aren't you?
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00:07:21,837 --> 00:07:22,986
Does that mean yes?
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00:07:23,011 --> 00:07:25,975
Whoa-ho, volunteering is rewarding.
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00:07:28,686 --> 00:07:30,798
Okay, Jocelyn, and make a face like,
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00:07:30,822 --> 00:07:32,489
"Oh, my God, I'm doing a good thing
199
00:07:32,508 --> 00:07:33,788
and I don't even care who sees."
200
00:07:33,825 --> 00:07:35,389
- Got it.
- Great.
201
00:07:35,414 --> 00:07:38,209
Um, you kind of just dropped
that trash back on the beach
202
00:07:38,234 --> 00:07:40,075
after you took your
picture... Maybe you want
203
00:07:40,108 --> 00:07:43,030
- to just pop that in your bag?
- Don't be a bag nag, Tina.
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00:07:43,055 --> 00:07:46,147
Yeah. My bag's clean.
I don't want to get trash on it.
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00:07:46,172 --> 00:07:47,960
Everyone. Attention?
206
00:07:47,985 --> 00:07:51,332
I just wanted to let you know
that I convinced Mr. Fischoeder
207
00:07:51,357 --> 00:07:53,501
to give us free foot-long taco dogs
208
00:07:53,526 --> 00:07:55,733
if we clean the beach.
209
00:07:55,758 --> 00:07:57,158
Um, is that all?
210
00:07:57,178 --> 00:07:58,944
What do you mean, "is that all?"
211
00:07:58,969 --> 00:08:01,708
It's free foot-long taco dogs, Tammy,
212
00:08:01,733 --> 00:08:04,147
that you were not getting
before, but now you are.
213
00:08:04,172 --> 00:08:07,239
I mean, cleaning a whole
beach for some hot dogs?
214
00:08:07,264 --> 00:08:09,079
It's a foot-long taco dog!
215
00:08:09,104 --> 00:08:10,444
Don't call it a hot dog.
216
00:08:10,469 --> 00:08:11,710
Show some respect.
217
00:08:11,735 --> 00:08:14,245
I'm telling her that. I know you know.
218
00:08:14,270 --> 00:08:16,731
Tammy's right... it is a
lot of work for just that.
219
00:08:16,756 --> 00:08:19,106
I mean, we're supposed
to clean the beach anyway.
220
00:08:19,131 --> 00:08:20,717
Yeah, but not for nothing.
221
00:08:20,742 --> 00:08:22,616
That's what volunteering is.
222
00:08:22,647 --> 00:08:24,261
Um, don't think so.
223
00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:26,014
Okay, I'll be the negotiator.
224
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:27,575
Ugh! It's easy, you just say
225
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:29,561
"no, better, no, better" until you have
226
00:08:29,602 --> 00:08:31,124
the biggest bedroom in the house.
227
00:08:31,149 --> 00:08:32,921
What? No. I can handle it.
228
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:35,381
That was just... round one, people.
229
00:08:35,406 --> 00:08:37,163
Of course we're gonna go bigger.
230
00:08:37,188 --> 00:08:38,503
I'll, uh, go back for
round two right now.
231
00:08:38,528 --> 00:08:40,673
Wait, Louise, maybe
we should use this time
232
00:08:40,698 --> 00:08:42,865
to actually, I don't
know, clean up the beach?
233
00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:44,223
And what about Mr. Frond?
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00:08:44,248 --> 00:08:46,896
I do not want the Sports
and Extreme Outdoors Package.
235
00:08:46,921 --> 00:08:50,211
I just want to watch premium
dramas on one cable box
236
00:08:50,231 --> 00:08:52,927
and pay for just the
one cable box, Derek!
237
00:08:52,952 --> 00:08:54,796
Okay, he's a little distracted.
238
00:08:54,821 --> 00:08:56,643
Tina, this is good for the beach.
239
00:08:56,668 --> 00:08:59,749
Because we get stuff.
The beach is happy when we're happy.
240
00:08:59,774 --> 00:09:01,999
-What?
-You get it. Okay, see you later.
241
00:09:02,733 --> 00:09:05,273
Mm, you've still got it,
Bob. Haven't lost a step.
242
00:09:05,298 --> 00:09:07,539
You mean in the two
weeks you were weirdly
243
00:09:07,564 --> 00:09:09,866
not coming here because
you were growing a mustache?
244
00:09:09,891 --> 00:09:11,205
- Mmm. Yeah.
- What's that?
245
00:09:11,230 --> 00:09:13,304
- It's my grooming kit.
- Looks fancy.
246
00:09:13,329 --> 00:09:15,169
The guy at the shaving
store sold it to me.
247
00:09:15,194 --> 00:09:18,050
Just the basics... clippers,
oils, combs, shampoos.
248
00:09:18,075 --> 00:09:19,310
My 'Stache Cash card.
249
00:09:19,335 --> 00:09:21,462
That's their Mustache Rewards program.
250
00:09:21,487 --> 00:09:22,967
How much did you pay for all that?
251
00:09:22,992 --> 00:09:24,321
- 75 bucks.
- Wow.
252
00:09:24,346 --> 00:09:26,725
- You don't use this stuff, Bob?
- Uh, no.
253
00:09:26,750 --> 00:09:28,630
Okay, walk me through
your mustache regimen.
254
00:09:28,661 --> 00:09:31,835
I guess I get food out of
it when there's food in it?
255
00:09:31,860 --> 00:09:34,164
- And... ?
- I think that's about it.
256
00:09:34,183 --> 00:09:36,257
Oof. Well, now we're
in this together, pal.
257
00:09:36,277 --> 00:09:38,426
Pretty soon, we'll be
trading mustache advice,
258
00:09:38,446 --> 00:09:41,046
keeping a mustache log that
we only show each other.
259
00:09:41,071 --> 00:09:43,006
- Mm, mm-hmm.
- Better go floss this thing.
260
00:09:43,025 --> 00:09:44,174
You floss yours?
261
00:09:44,193 --> 00:09:45,631
- You want to join?
- I'm-I'm good.
262
00:09:45,656 --> 00:09:47,845
Uh, you're not, but okay.
263
00:09:48,756 --> 00:09:49,974
Huh. Felix, too?
264
00:09:49,999 --> 00:09:52,107
She's gonna be here this
afternoon to take pictures.
265
00:09:52,132 --> 00:09:54,352
Do you really think she can
make this junky old wharf
266
00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:56,026
look like a hot tourist attraction?
267
00:09:56,044 --> 00:09:58,147
Sonya's the best at
photographing the worst.
268
00:09:58,172 --> 00:10:00,570
She could make Chernobyl
look like Cher-yes-byl.
269
00:10:00,595 --> 00:10:02,553
It won't be easy,
especially this time of year.
270
00:10:02,578 --> 00:10:04,621
Sonya said this time of
year's better actually?
271
00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:05,858
Fewer people on the wharf.
272
00:10:05,883 --> 00:10:07,975
Yes, people can be an eyesore.
273
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,184
- Not you. You're fine.
- Don't worry.
274
00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:12,053
She's gonna give us something
great for the pamphlet.
275
00:10:12,078 --> 00:10:15,419
Ah, pamphlets to display
at hotels and airports...
276
00:10:15,444 --> 00:10:18,639
The lifeblood of any two-bit
circus and roadside attraction.
277
00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:21,549
Someday we'll have a nice pamphlet.
Maybe this is our year.
278
00:10:21,574 --> 00:10:23,978
Look, we'll even have an
actually sort of clean beach.
279
00:10:24,002 --> 00:10:26,043
Well, well, well.
280
00:10:26,067 --> 00:10:28,225
Sounds like you really
need the beach clean, huh?
281
00:10:28,243 --> 00:10:29,484
Is someone getting
282
00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:31,272
their amusement park
picture taken today?
283
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:33,658
We are. We were literally
just talking about that.
284
00:10:33,683 --> 00:10:34,690
Felix, hush.
285
00:10:34,715 --> 00:10:37,020
We might be able to spruce up that sand.
286
00:10:37,045 --> 00:10:39,379
But, uh, it's gonna take
more than foot-long taco dogs.
287
00:10:39,404 --> 00:10:40,514
But they're a foot long.
288
00:10:40,539 --> 00:10:41,936
I mean, we've tried to
get them longer than that,
289
00:10:41,961 --> 00:10:43,182
but it doesn't work.
290
00:10:43,207 --> 00:10:44,724
They sag. It's unsightly.
291
00:10:44,749 --> 00:10:48,737
I was thinking... a
free day at Wonder Wharf.
292
00:10:48,762 --> 00:10:50,871
For me and every kid cleaning the beach.
293
00:10:50,896 --> 00:10:52,580
- Snack-inclusive.
- Fine.
294
00:10:52,605 --> 00:10:55,151
If you de-trashify the beach thoroughly
295
00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:58,415
from dead sea creature to sleeping guy,
296
00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:00,090
within your allotted volunteer hours,
297
00:11:00,108 --> 00:11:02,592
I'll give you and your friends
a free day on the wharf.
298
00:11:02,617 --> 00:11:04,104
Yes, I guess that's manageable.
299
00:11:04,129 --> 00:11:06,016
Uh, and you shut the place down for us.
300
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:09,080
No lines, no waiting,
the full Willy Wonka.
301
00:11:09,105 --> 00:11:10,617
The full Willy Wonka?
302
00:11:10,642 --> 00:11:12,166
- Whoa.
- It's never been done.
303
00:11:12,191 --> 00:11:15,249
It goes against the whole idea
of making money with a business.
304
00:11:15,274 --> 00:11:18,108
Okay, forget it. Hope your
pictures turn out real pretty
305
00:11:18,126 --> 00:11:20,535
with all that garbage blowing around.
306
00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:23,346
Very well, you win,
annoying burger child.
307
00:11:23,371 --> 00:11:25,946
- Wait, really? Yes!
- Seriously?
308
00:11:25,971 --> 00:11:27,951
Hmm, she does look like a burger.
309
00:11:27,969 --> 00:11:30,303
Listen up! I just got us the best prize
310
00:11:30,328 --> 00:11:31,768
of our sweet little lives.
311
00:11:31,793 --> 00:11:33,276
Uh, as my dad says to me
312
00:11:33,301 --> 00:11:35,711
whenever I ask to borrow
his angora sweater...
313
00:11:35,736 --> 00:11:36,717
Yeah, right.
314
00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:38,979
Trust me, you're gonna like this.
315
00:11:39,004 --> 00:11:40,942
Clean. Oh, yeah. Clean. Clean. Clean.
316
00:11:40,981 --> 00:11:43,118
Free day on the wharf.
Free day on the wharf.
317
00:11:43,143 --> 00:11:44,961
Come on, Jocelyn. Pick up the pace.
318
00:11:44,986 --> 00:11:47,330
Yeah, Jocelyn. I don't want
to see any slack in that sack.
319
00:11:47,355 --> 00:11:48,355
God!
320
00:11:48,380 --> 00:11:50,375
Don't just stand there
looking righteous.
321
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:51,641
If you want to be my plus-one
322
00:11:51,666 --> 00:11:53,916
on the wharf, you're
gonna have to earn it.
323
00:11:56,432 --> 00:11:58,902
Wow, Louise. I think
we're actually gonna do it.
324
00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:00,744
The beach is almost
not covered in trash.
325
00:12:00,769 --> 00:12:03,127
Do you think it feels naked?
Should we toss a shirt on it?
326
00:12:03,152 --> 00:12:04,574
Well, you did it, Louise.
327
00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:06,225
We're getting the full Willy Wonka.
328
00:12:06,249 --> 00:12:08,727
Wait, one of us gets to own
the park at the end of the day?
329
00:12:08,751 --> 00:12:11,094
No. Okay, it's a three-quarter Wonka.
330
00:12:11,119 --> 00:12:13,369
- It's a Willy Wonk.
- Wait, is that Mickey?
331
00:12:14,018 --> 00:12:16,315
Mr. Fischoeder makes
him boogie-board holding bags?
332
00:12:16,340 --> 00:12:17,643
Is that to entertain the tourists?
333
00:12:17,668 --> 00:12:18,954
- I'm into it.
- Hmm.
334
00:12:18,979 --> 00:12:20,404
Keep cleaning, I'll be back.
335
00:12:20,429 --> 00:12:23,151
I'm gonna see what Mickey
Wetsuit over there is up to.
336
00:12:23,924 --> 00:12:26,221
Boy, Teddy's been in the
bathroom for a while, huh?
337
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,489
He's been in and out of
there, like, five times.
338
00:12:28,513 --> 00:12:30,055
He's playing with his
mustache. I know it.
339
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:32,377
Oh, Bob, so what? He likes grooming it.
340
00:12:32,402 --> 00:12:34,307
You know, you could
stand to give your bushel
341
00:12:34,332 --> 00:12:35,682
- a brushing now and then.
- Hmm.
342
00:12:35,707 --> 00:12:37,323
Hey, Bob, when you
scratch your mustache,
343
00:12:37,348 --> 00:12:38,463
does your leg bounce?
344
00:12:38,488 --> 00:12:39,942
What is that, some kinda reflex?
345
00:12:39,967 --> 00:12:42,575
That doesn't happen to me... or anybody.
346
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,078
Hey, what do you do
with the hairs that fall
347
00:12:44,103 --> 00:12:47,007
out of your mustache? Do you
put 'em in a little velvet sack?
348
00:12:47,032 --> 00:12:48,180
Ooh!
349
00:12:48,205 --> 00:12:50,458
Okay, Teddy, let's have
a mustache talk time-out.
350
00:12:50,483 --> 00:12:52,081
Uh, okay, but real quick, time in.
351
00:12:52,106 --> 00:12:54,514
- I-I called time out.
- Yeah, and I called time in.
352
00:12:54,539 --> 00:12:55,872
- We each get three.
- What?
353
00:12:55,891 --> 00:12:58,375
Hey, before I forget, do
you do anything special
354
00:12:58,393 --> 00:12:59,945
in the bathtub to pamper your mustache?
355
00:12:59,969 --> 00:13:02,487
I have to go, um... away from here.
356
00:13:02,512 --> 00:13:04,398
- Bye.
- So this is your second time-out?
357
00:13:04,423 --> 00:13:06,014
Or we're on your first?
358
00:13:06,288 --> 00:13:08,049
Mickey. How's the surf? Up?
359
00:13:08,074 --> 00:13:09,432
Oh, hey.
360
00:13:09,457 --> 00:13:13,239
Yeah, just out here doing
some boarding, boogie-style.
361
00:13:13,264 --> 00:13:15,771
Aren't you supposed to be working?
Also what's with the bag?
362
00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:18,372
Oh, this? It's all my boogie gear.
363
00:13:18,397 --> 00:13:20,541
- Looks like trash.
- Well, that's 'cause you don't know
364
00:13:20,565 --> 00:13:22,065
much about the boogie lifestyle.
365
00:13:22,083 --> 00:13:24,401
Wait a minute... Did
Mr. Fischoeder send you
366
00:13:24,419 --> 00:13:26,069
to trash the beach at the last minute,
367
00:13:26,087 --> 00:13:28,784
so he wouldn't have to give us
the three-quarter Willy Wonka?
368
00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:31,258
- Uh...
- He did, didn't he, Mickey?
369
00:13:31,283 --> 00:13:33,179
- Didn't he?
- How'd you know?
370
00:13:33,204 --> 00:13:35,722
Was it the whole "darting
away when you saw me" thing?
371
00:13:35,747 --> 00:13:36,982
I knew that looked suspicious.
372
00:13:37,006 --> 00:13:38,984
I've always been terrible
at darting. You mad?
373
00:13:39,008 --> 00:13:41,526
Yeah, I'm mad. What
was the plan? Spill it.
374
00:13:41,603 --> 00:13:43,511
After the photographer
takes her pictures,
375
00:13:43,530 --> 00:13:45,197
I'm supposed to wait for the signal,
376
00:13:45,222 --> 00:13:46,583
then spread trash on the beach.
377
00:13:46,608 --> 00:13:47,924
What's the signal?
378
00:13:47,949 --> 00:13:49,616
Felix is gonna shriek
like a scared peacock.
379
00:13:49,641 --> 00:13:51,457
It's the only animal sound he knows.
380
00:13:51,482 --> 00:13:53,149
So unfair!
381
00:13:53,174 --> 00:13:54,741
I know, poor guy. I should teach him
382
00:13:54,766 --> 00:13:56,357
how to moo... oh, or oink.
383
00:13:56,376 --> 00:13:58,354
Anyway, let's never
lie to each other again.
384
00:13:58,378 --> 00:14:00,528
But, uh, don't tell
anybody we talked, okay?
385
00:14:00,749 --> 00:14:02,643
- Bob. Bob.
- Yeah?
386
00:14:02,668 --> 00:14:04,532
Mind if I bring up a ticklish subject?
387
00:14:04,551 --> 00:14:06,051
Your mustache. Get it?
388
00:14:06,076 --> 00:14:07,510
'Cause it tickles? Eh...
389
00:14:07,535 --> 00:14:09,110
But, seriously, I'm looking at you
390
00:14:09,135 --> 00:14:10,371
and I'm seeing a dry mustache.
391
00:14:10,396 --> 00:14:11,516
A real lip loofah.
392
00:14:11,541 --> 00:14:13,132
I can't do this anymore, Teddy.
393
00:14:13,157 --> 00:14:14,536
I can't talk about this anymore.
394
00:14:14,561 --> 00:14:16,711
- Bob...
- No, Linda, it's too much.
395
00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:19,335
This is too much. I-It's
fine that you have a mustache.
396
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,376
But we have to talk
about other things, Teddy.
397
00:14:21,401 --> 00:14:22,717
There's a whole world out there.
398
00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:25,311
Oh, you know what I think
this is? You're jealous.
399
00:14:25,336 --> 00:14:27,190
Suddenly you're not
the only mustache guy.
400
00:14:27,215 --> 00:14:28,408
I'm not jealous!
401
00:14:28,433 --> 00:14:30,445
There's a hot new mustache on the scene,
402
00:14:30,477 --> 00:14:31,659
and Bob can't stand it!
403
00:14:31,684 --> 00:14:33,409
Huh, Bob? You can't stand it!
404
00:14:33,434 --> 00:14:34,872
'Cause I got one of these now.
405
00:14:34,897 --> 00:14:37,076
- That's ridiculous, Teddy!
- Oh, is it?!
406
00:14:37,101 --> 00:14:39,904
Calm down, both of ya.
You're acting like babies.
407
00:14:39,929 --> 00:14:41,478
- Hairy babies.
- Fine.
408
00:14:41,503 --> 00:14:44,360
Bring me my bill and
I will be on my way.
409
00:14:44,385 --> 00:14:45,717
Aah! Tangle.
410
00:14:46,193 --> 00:14:49,319
So I had to touch garbage
and I got sand on my leg,
411
00:14:49,337 --> 00:14:50,967
and it was all for nothing?
412
00:14:50,992 --> 00:14:52,747
I got sand on my leg, too.
413
00:14:52,772 --> 00:14:54,513
At least tell me there
will be foot-long taco dogs!
414
00:14:54,538 --> 00:14:56,521
I promised the seagull.
415
00:14:56,546 --> 00:14:59,208
Look, I'm sorry. It's stupid Fischoeder.
416
00:14:59,233 --> 00:15:02,084
But, hey, the beach is cleaner,
which is the whole reason
417
00:15:02,109 --> 00:15:04,086
we came here today, so yay?
418
00:15:04,111 --> 00:15:06,071
And it's not a big deal,
but I cleaned the most.
419
00:15:06,095 --> 00:15:07,815
Not that that makes me a
better person or anything.
420
00:15:07,839 --> 00:15:09,484
I wasn't even thinking about that.
421
00:15:09,508 --> 00:15:10,817
Hey, look at that.
422
00:15:10,842 --> 00:15:12,600
Poor little thing's
living out of a foot-long
423
00:15:12,619 --> 00:15:14,074
taco dog dippin' sauce cup.
424
00:15:14,099 --> 00:15:15,989
We never thought about
the dark side of the dog.
425
00:15:16,014 --> 00:15:17,934
He must've gotten confused
at shell-changing time.
426
00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:19,752
This beach is usually
so covered in garbage
427
00:15:19,776 --> 00:15:21,496
he doesn't know what's
a shell and what's not.
428
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:24,606
This is most I've ever been
disappointed in dipping sauce.
429
00:15:24,631 --> 00:15:27,107
He's never gonna be able
to get a hermit crab job
430
00:15:27,132 --> 00:15:29,353
or a hermit crab date.
Not looking like that.
431
00:15:29,377 --> 00:15:31,193
See? This is why we clean the beach.
432
00:15:31,218 --> 00:15:33,967
- So this guy can find his soul mate.
- Wait. That's it.
433
00:15:33,992 --> 00:15:35,727
What? We do The Bachelor, but for crabs?
434
00:15:35,752 --> 00:15:38,125
- And we make this right?
- Oh, my God, yes!
435
00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:39,702
No, this little guy's gonna get us
436
00:15:39,721 --> 00:15:42,012
all the way to the three-quarter Wonka.
437
00:15:42,037 --> 00:15:43,625
- Tammy, I need your phone.
- Hey!
438
00:15:43,650 --> 00:15:45,703
Do you want a three-quarter
Wonka day or not?
439
00:15:45,789 --> 00:15:48,145
Hey, crab, say cheese.
440
00:15:48,170 --> 00:15:49,799
But not "chunky cheese dipping sauce."
441
00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:51,943
Because you're probably
sensitive about that.
442
00:15:54,638 --> 00:15:57,381
Okay, little garbage crab,
you're our golden ticket.
443
00:15:57,405 --> 00:16:00,050
- How do you find a crab's best angle?
- Let me.
444
00:16:01,409 --> 00:16:02,949
Mm, that one's cute, use that one.
445
00:16:02,974 --> 00:16:04,974
But you're in the... Good enough.
446
00:16:05,357 --> 00:16:07,943
Looks like Fischoeder's
special guest is here.
447
00:16:07,968 --> 00:16:09,428
I'll be right back.
448
00:16:09,453 --> 00:16:11,378
Here you go. Hope you like food.
449
00:16:11,403 --> 00:16:12,660
Uh, thank you.
450
00:16:12,679 --> 00:16:14,910
Lin, did you just say,
"I hope you like food"?
451
00:16:14,935 --> 00:16:16,383
What? I try stuff out.
452
00:16:16,472 --> 00:16:18,229
- Oh, no.
- I'm shaving it!
453
00:16:18,254 --> 00:16:19,402
I'm shaving it off!
454
00:16:19,427 --> 00:16:20,813
Teddy, what are you talking about?
455
00:16:20,837 --> 00:16:22,336
I'm shaving off the mustache.
456
00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:23,746
It's a hairy curse.
457
00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,651
- It's tearing us apart.
- Teddy, stop!
458
00:16:25,675 --> 00:16:28,193
Don't do that. I mean,
do it if you want.
459
00:16:28,218 --> 00:16:29,488
Just not in our restaurant.
460
00:16:29,512 --> 00:16:31,398
I could, uh, uh, put a bus tub
461
00:16:31,423 --> 00:16:32,589
underneath to catch the hairs.
462
00:16:32,607 --> 00:16:34,238
Linda, no, don't encourage him.
463
00:16:34,263 --> 00:16:35,973
Get the bus tub, Linda. I'm gonna do it.
464
00:16:35,998 --> 00:16:38,496
- Hello, sir. How are you?
- Sorry about this, sir.
465
00:16:38,521 --> 00:16:40,516
We're best friends. We're
going through a thing.
466
00:16:40,540 --> 00:16:42,121
Friends having mustache
troubles, you know.
467
00:16:42,146 --> 00:16:44,887
It's not mustache troubles. Teddy, stop!
468
00:16:44,912 --> 00:16:46,443
Do you want to know
why I grew this thing?
469
00:16:46,468 --> 00:16:47,592
No, I don't.
470
00:16:47,617 --> 00:16:49,139
Because I thought we could bond over it.
471
00:16:49,158 --> 00:16:50,952
And I thought we could
use a little bonding
472
00:16:50,976 --> 00:16:52,993
right about now,
considering what happened.
473
00:16:53,018 --> 00:16:54,365
What? Wh-What happened?
474
00:16:54,390 --> 00:16:55,818
I don't even know what
you're talking about.
475
00:16:55,843 --> 00:16:57,734
Remember a few weeks ago when I told you
476
00:16:57,758 --> 00:17:00,259
the "It Takes Gouda to
Make a Thing Go Rye" burger
477
00:17:00,284 --> 00:17:02,813
- wasn't my favorite?
- I don't really remember.
478
00:17:02,838 --> 00:17:05,246
Oh, sure you do. After
that you got all quiet.
479
00:17:05,271 --> 00:17:06,909
Short one-word responses.
480
00:17:06,934 --> 00:17:09,435
I missed us. I needed to do something.
481
00:17:09,460 --> 00:17:10,863
Teddy, I wasn't mad. I think I might
482
00:17:10,888 --> 00:17:12,748
not have even been listening to you.
483
00:17:12,773 --> 00:17:15,012
Teddy, give me the clippers.
484
00:17:15,037 --> 00:17:17,069
No. This thing's got to go right now.
485
00:17:17,094 --> 00:17:19,612
I brought it into this
world, and I can take it out.
486
00:17:19,637 --> 00:17:22,488
No, Teddy, keep it. It looks... great.
487
00:17:22,513 --> 00:17:25,284
I'm sorry I was annoyed that
you were talking about it.
488
00:17:25,309 --> 00:17:26,818
And constantly combing it.
489
00:17:26,843 --> 00:17:28,730
And constantly going into the bathroom
490
00:17:28,755 --> 00:17:31,244
to play with it so, so many times.
491
00:17:31,269 --> 00:17:34,662
Well, if you weren't mad at
me about the Burger of the Day,
492
00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:36,267
truth is, I don't
really want this thing.
493
00:17:36,292 --> 00:17:38,517
It's itchy, and I don't
think it really suits my face.
494
00:17:38,542 --> 00:17:40,133
Right? Am I right, sir?
495
00:17:40,158 --> 00:17:42,209
I-I can't tell. Hold your finger up?
496
00:17:42,234 --> 00:17:43,965
- See?
- Yeah. Maybe no mustache.
497
00:17:43,990 --> 00:17:46,697
- It's coming off.
- Fine, but maybe not here, please?
498
00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:48,692
Okay, okay. I'll do it at home.
499
00:17:48,717 --> 00:17:50,770
Anyone want to give it
a touch before it's gone?
500
00:17:50,794 --> 00:17:52,434
- Bob?
- Bob, touch it.
501
00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:54,054
Touch his mustache.
502
00:17:54,079 --> 00:17:55,895
Oh, okay, fine.
503
00:17:56,654 --> 00:17:58,887
Huh. It's really silky.
504
00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:00,579
Hey, Bob, I want you to have this.
505
00:18:00,604 --> 00:18:02,113
Oh. Thank you, Teddy.
506
00:18:02,138 --> 00:18:03,949
And just pay me whatever
you think is fair.
507
00:18:03,974 --> 00:18:05,640
It doesn't have to be the full 75.
508
00:18:05,665 --> 00:18:07,551
I don't want to pay anything for it.
509
00:18:07,576 --> 00:18:09,001
What a shot.
510
00:18:09,026 --> 00:18:11,198
You can barely see the
seagull poop on the railings.
511
00:18:11,223 --> 00:18:13,407
- Yeah, it's your best angle.
- It really is.
512
00:18:13,432 --> 00:18:15,374
- Mr. Fischoeder?
- Oh, hello,
513
00:18:15,399 --> 00:18:16,646
Mr. Little Girl.
514
00:18:16,671 --> 00:18:18,336
Well, we cleaned the whole beach.
515
00:18:18,397 --> 00:18:20,392
So, I guess you owe us
a free day at the park.
516
00:18:20,416 --> 00:18:21,840
I'll need to check your work.
517
00:18:21,865 --> 00:18:23,684
I have a feeling you missed some spots.
518
00:18:23,709 --> 00:18:26,932
Oh, are you talking about Mickey
and his secret trash stash?
519
00:18:26,957 --> 00:18:28,371
"Trash stash"?
520
00:18:28,396 --> 00:18:30,505
- Whatever could you mean?
- Over there.
521
00:18:30,530 --> 00:18:32,644
All I see is a shy boogie-boarder
522
00:18:32,669 --> 00:18:34,169
darting behind a pole.
523
00:18:34,188 --> 00:18:35,982
Sonya, what do you think?
Do we have what we need?
524
00:18:36,006 --> 00:18:38,064
- Are we pamphlet-ready?
- I'd say so.
525
00:18:38,089 --> 00:18:39,588
Then, Felix? Peacock?
526
00:18:43,365 --> 00:18:44,922
Oh, no, look at that.
527
00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:46,757
Well, you know what they say.
528
00:18:46,775 --> 00:18:49,184
Trashy beach, prize out of reach.
529
00:18:49,203 --> 00:18:51,778
- First of all, fun rhyme.
- Thank you, I know.
530
00:18:51,872 --> 00:18:54,590
Second of all, looks like you
got a real nice picture there.
531
00:18:54,615 --> 00:18:55,933
But so did I.
532
00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:57,525
And if you don't stick to our deal,
533
00:18:57,550 --> 00:18:59,171
the world's gonna see this.
534
00:18:59,196 --> 00:19:02,000
A selfie of a heavily made-up teen?
535
00:19:02,025 --> 00:19:04,009
No, the hermit crab behind her?
536
00:19:04,034 --> 00:19:06,272
With the Wonder Wharf-branded
foot-long taco dog
537
00:19:06,297 --> 00:19:08,756
cheesy chunk dipping sauce
container for a shell.
538
00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:10,925
- Hmm.
- Yeah. I'm gonna crop out Tammy,
539
00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:13,019
and I'm gonna put this
picture on all the social media
540
00:19:13,043 --> 00:19:14,952
I can figure out how to get on.
541
00:19:14,977 --> 00:19:17,746
And people are gonna
get real crabby about it.
542
00:19:17,771 --> 00:19:20,503
People get really upset about
sad animals who live in trash.
543
00:19:20,528 --> 00:19:21,945
Especially if they're cute.
544
00:19:21,970 --> 00:19:23,782
How cute is that crab?
Let me see it again?
545
00:19:23,807 --> 00:19:25,551
Ooh, he's pretty cute.
546
00:19:25,576 --> 00:19:28,192
Well, that's some terrific
blackmail, young lady.
547
00:19:28,217 --> 00:19:30,488
- I know. Good.
- I have no choice but to act.
548
00:19:30,513 --> 00:19:32,652
I mean, a thing like this
could be bad for my bottom line.
549
00:19:32,747 --> 00:19:34,403
Your butt crack? Oh! Got it.
550
00:19:34,428 --> 00:19:36,784
But shutting down the
wharf for a whole day,
551
00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:38,642
so you and your buddies
can get your jollies
552
00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:41,789
eating my lollies,
that costs a lot, too.
553
00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:43,404
- It does.
- Okay, fine.
554
00:19:43,429 --> 00:19:44,960
Starting today, I'm going to pay
555
00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:47,242
my carnie folk to clean the beach.
556
00:19:47,267 --> 00:19:49,465
Yeah, you will. Wait, what?
557
00:19:49,490 --> 00:19:52,299
If your sad crab goes viral,
I'll just say we jumped
558
00:19:52,324 --> 00:19:54,528
into action the moment we
became aware of the situation,
559
00:19:54,553 --> 00:19:56,637
and just look at our carnies clean.
560
00:19:56,662 --> 00:19:58,328
Hmm? With such gusto.
561
00:19:58,347 --> 00:20:00,497
- But...
- Felix, would you be a plucky peacock,
562
00:20:00,522 --> 00:20:03,402
and tell Mickey to clean
up the trash he just threw?
563
00:20:03,427 --> 00:20:06,094
Huh?
564
00:20:06,113 --> 00:20:07,816
- He'll figure it out.
- Aah!
565
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,123
No, it's not like that. It's like this.
566
00:20:11,435 --> 00:20:14,574
At least Mr. Fischoeder
gave us foot-long taco dogs.
567
00:20:14,599 --> 00:20:17,181
Yep, this thing's filling a
foot-long hole in my heart.
568
00:20:17,206 --> 00:20:19,632
Even though these are
the 10-inch long rejects.
569
00:20:19,657 --> 00:20:21,103
I should've negotiated. We could, like,
570
00:20:21,128 --> 00:20:23,111
own a roller coaster right now.
571
00:20:23,136 --> 00:20:25,136
I would take it, like, everywhere.
572
00:20:25,161 --> 00:20:27,851
I blew it. No three-quarters Wonka.
573
00:20:27,876 --> 00:20:29,468
Not even a wee Wonk.
574
00:20:29,493 --> 00:20:31,076
Louise, in your sort-of-selfish,
575
00:20:31,101 --> 00:20:33,193
sort-of-thoughtful, mostly-selfish way,
576
00:20:33,218 --> 00:20:35,353
you did a really good thing today.
577
00:20:35,378 --> 00:20:37,303
That beach is gonna
be clean from now on.
578
00:20:37,328 --> 00:20:39,347
I mean, maybe not totally
clean. Mickey doesn't seem
579
00:20:39,371 --> 00:20:41,388
to be very good at picking up trash.
580
00:20:41,413 --> 00:20:43,988
Whoops. Whoops.
581
00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:45,778
But maybe now there
won't be any more crabs
582
00:20:45,802 --> 00:20:46,968
like Saucy on the beach.
583
00:20:46,988 --> 00:20:48,356
Saucy? You named it?
584
00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:50,317
Zeke did. I think they're pen pals now.
585
00:20:50,342 --> 00:20:52,324
- Well, thanks, Tina.
- No problem.
586
00:20:52,349 --> 00:20:54,286
Hey, Gene, what happened
to your seagull stalker?
587
00:20:54,311 --> 00:20:56,289
I think he forgot about
me. Too bad for him.
588
00:20:56,313 --> 00:20:58,162
I would've let him have
a little bit of dog.
589
00:20:58,187 --> 00:21:00,891
Drive! Drive!
590
00:21:00,916 --> 00:21:02,540
♪ Mustache ♪
591
00:21:02,565 --> 00:21:04,887
♪ Mustache love ♪
592
00:21:04,912 --> 00:21:06,912
- ♪ Got to have that love ♪
- ♪ Got to have that ♪
593
00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:08,990
- ♪ Mustache ♪
- ♪ Mustache love ♪
594
00:21:09,083 --> 00:21:10,658
♪ Mustache ♪
595
00:21:10,683 --> 00:21:12,850
- ♪ Mustache love ♪
- ♪ Mustache ♪
596
00:21:12,875 --> 00:21:14,817
♪ Got to have that love ♪
597
00:21:14,842 --> 00:21:16,641
♪ Mustache love ♪
598
00:21:16,666 --> 00:21:18,924
- ♪ Wax our love ♪
- ♪ Smooth ♪
599
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:21,019
- ♪ Trim our love ♪
- ♪ Trim it up ♪
600
00:21:21,044 --> 00:21:22,859
♪ Twirl our love 'cause it's ♪
601
00:21:22,884 --> 00:21:24,904
- ♪ Mustache love ♪
- ♪ Mustache love ♪
602
00:21:24,929 --> 00:21:26,986
- ♪ Mustache ♪
- ♪ Mustache ♪
603
00:21:27,010 --> 00:21:28,768
- ♪ Mustache love ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪
604
00:21:28,793 --> 00:21:30,906
- ♪ Got to have that love ♪
- ♪ Got to have it ♪
605
00:21:30,931 --> 00:21:32,674
- ♪ Mustache love ♪
- ♪ Mustache love, mustache. ♪
606
00:21:32,699 --> 00:21:37,765
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --