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- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
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So we got to find pretend
jobs for this Life Skills project?
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- Yup.
- And a pretend apartment?
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- Uh-huh.
- And make a pretend budget?
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- Mm-hmm.
- Why is school always
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trying to teach us stuff?
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I mean, when you and I grow up
and become famous robo-DJs...
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Half-human, half-robot...
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We can hire full robots to do
our life skills stuff for us.
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We don't need this type of training.
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I like this project.
Pretend budget money?
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We can pretend-buy whatever we want.
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Like toothpaste,
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but a kind with sugar in it.
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Oh, is there a sugary toothpaste?
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There is if you add sugar to it.
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Oh, there goes another one.
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Look at the hair, look at that bounce.
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Ever since that hair
salon opened up next door,
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you think every woman walking
by just came from there.
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She did. I can tell.
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She's got that "I just got my hair done
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at a fancy salon" walk.
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If you're so curious about that place,
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why don't you just go in?
Get a trim or whatever.
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- Their-their least expensive trim.
- I can't.
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Gretchen's been doing my hair for years,
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and I would never.
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- Okay.
- I don't even want her
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to know I'm looking, which I'm not.
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Gretchen knows if you
so much as got a trim
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in the last year from someone else.
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Haven't seen you in a while, Georgia.
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- Your bangs look nice.
- Oh, thanks.
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- Who did this?!
- It was nothing, it was nothing.
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- It was a-a tiny trim. I was...
- Out! Out!
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- Get out of my chair!
- Aah!
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Okay, Linda. You're up.
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Besides, uh, I like going to Gretchen's,
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even though sometimes
she smokes a cigarette
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right before she does my hair
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and it makes my hair
smell like cigarettes.
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And one time she cut my ear,
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but she pretended it was already cut.
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She called it my "bleeding ear problem."
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- I mean, she's great!
- I-I'm-I'm perfectly happy.
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I-I don't think she can hear you.
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You never know.
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Wha... What's the matter?
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- What's the matter, sweetie?
- Are you okay, Gene?
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Pube... !
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- Huh.
- I think that's a chest hair,
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not technically a pube,
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unless you have a really long crotch.
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Thanks a lot, Tina.
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I bet I caught puberty from you.
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I'm not ready to be an adult!
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Before you know it, I'm gonna
be a pile of dust and bones
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holding onto an electric
saxophone probably!
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As if the Life Skills thing
at school wasn't enough,
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now my own sweet body
is telling me to grow up.
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Go away, pube. I don't want a 401!
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- Aw, Gene.
- It's not a pube.
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You know, Gene, besides the body hair
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and pimples and armpit odor
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and mood swings and neck
sweat, puberty's great.
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Why is Gene's pube gray?
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Even my puberty is growing up too fast!
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Hmm. That didn't put up much of a fight.
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- Aah!
- It's a match: old man gray.
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Oh... Dad's chest hair must
have stuck on me this morning
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when I gave him his
surprise shower-hug.
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It's not really a surprise
when you do it every single day.
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Oh, thank God I'm not pube-ing out.
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I'm still a beautiful baby boy.
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Yes, you are. Yeah.
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- Actually, you're a tween.
- Not a boy, not yet a woman.
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I'm not "tween" anything.
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I'm securely in the child column.
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Mother, I'm gonna need
extra chicken at dinner.
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This shook me to my core.
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I thought I lost you, smoothie.
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So, I made a pretend grocery list.
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And I started looking
for our dream apartment:
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two bedroom, one
bathroom and water slide.
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We can meet at my house
every day after school
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this week and build our dream lives.
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I can't believe you're enjoying this.
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- I'm freaking out!
- It's not so bad.
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You're not the one
who had the pube scare.
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Our childhoods are zipping
by, and we're just expected
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to wake up one day and
put on big-boy pants?
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I hate pants!
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We're getting graded on this, so...
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- how's the fake job hunt going?
- Did you hear me, Alex?
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I had an almost-pube!
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I haven't had time to job-hunt.
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You should check out the job
board at the community center.
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That's where I found my
pretend telemarketing gig,
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which pays nine big ones an hour,
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plus a small commission,
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whatever that means.
I assume it means gold.
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Fine. I'll go look at the job board,
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but I'm not gonna just
settle for anything.
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I need full benefits
and 12 weeks of vacation.
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I know what I'm worth.
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Well, time to grow up, I guess.
You two should head home.
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Louise, you still have your youth.
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Get out there and just be a kid.
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And, Tina, it's too late for you.
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But take care of Louise as
you trudge towards death.
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- Okay.
- Okay?
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Landscaping? Construction?
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Those sound so outside-y.
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Grocery store is hiring,
but they drug-test.
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- Oh, hi, Gus.
- Looking for work, eh?
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It's for a dumb school project
to prepare us for adulthood.
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But I want to be, like
Sir Rod Stewart once said,
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- "Forever, forever young."
- I hear you.
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The best way to stay young
is to do young things.
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That's why I started doing yoga.
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Now I can touch my knees.
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And everything at the community
center is donation-based.
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That means it's free.
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Who's ready for fun?
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Buckle up, the Kids Club train
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is about to blast off, honk-honk!
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Lot of mixed metaphors,
but love her energy.
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Those lucky little bastards.
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Let's get the wiggles out
before story time starts.
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Hmm. Kids Club.
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Oh, hello. Uh, um...
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Are you looking for swimming?
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I think they usually do it in the pool.
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Uh, I think I'm supposed to be here?
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Oh. Um, what's your name?
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- Gene.
- Hi, Gene.
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I'm Miss Erica. Gene, Gene.
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I don't see you on my roster.
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Did your parents sign you up?
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Um, yeah, like a second ago.
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Well, then it's just
not in the system yet.
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How, um, old are you, Gene?
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Oh, I am... this many.
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You're seven? Wow.
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Somebody's eating all their veggies.
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Ha, no.
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It's just, you're such
a big boy for seven.
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- Very big.
- Thank you?
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Do you have any wiggles to get out?
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Do I! My wiggles have wiggles.
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Yay! I'm young again!
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Gene, where were you?
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Why are you so late?
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You did spend an awful long time
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looking at that community
center job board.
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So, what'd you pick? I was a dog walker
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for my sixth grade
Life Skills pretend job.
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I raked in eight fake bucks
an hour walking fake dogs.
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- And I only got fake bit twice.
- Yup, uh...
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that's the job I
picked, too, dog walker.
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And I'll be at Alex's house after school
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all this week, working on
the Life Skills project,
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no need to check in.
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- I'm not acting weird.
- O-Okay...
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Hey, Gene, how about you,
uh, come over and catch up
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on your restaurant work?
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Of course, I love restaurant work.
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Okay, what's going on?
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Nothing. What's going on with you?
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This is a great conversation.
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Why do you have glitter on your chin
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and feathers sticking
out of your backpack?
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- I got a job at Pickles?
- The strip club?
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- It's a gentlemen's revue.
- Gene.
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All right, fine, I was at Kids Club.
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Kids Club? Isn't that for little kids?
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Exactly.
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I said I was seven, and
I just got to be young,
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dumb, and full of fun.
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Didn't anyone notice
that you don't at all
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- look like a seven-year-old?
- How dare you?
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Age is in the eye of
who's lying about it.
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Actually, the hardest part
was getting signed out.
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Gene, buddy. We can't let
you leave without an adult.
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An adult?
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Uh, hey, silver fox
father coming out of yoga.
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- Get over here.
- Uh, oh, o-okay.
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You got Gus to pretend to
be your dad and sign you out?
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He was so loose from that yoga,
he would have signed anything.
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Look, pal, I don't care how
you blow off your fake job,
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00:07:12,981 --> 00:07:14,539
but I don't like Tina
having to cover for you
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00:07:14,557 --> 00:07:17,185
at your real job 'cause then
she doesn't cover for me as well.
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- So get wiping.
- I will.
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But first, check this out.
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I call it Feather Glitter Glue,
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and everyone said it
was the best name ever.
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That's how easy it is
to be a seven-year-old.
199
00:07:26,638 --> 00:07:28,886
G'day, mate. Roommate.
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00:07:28,911 --> 00:07:30,388
You pumped about
coming over after school
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00:07:30,406 --> 00:07:32,665
and getting into some
heavy duty budgeting?
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00:07:32,690 --> 00:07:34,149
Oh, um, sorry, Alex.
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00:07:34,169 --> 00:07:36,548
I can't. Still got to find a dang job.
204
00:07:36,573 --> 00:07:38,982
You can't buy fake Ding Dongs and Ho Hos
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00:07:39,007 --> 00:07:41,726
with no fake dough-dough, right?
206
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Okay.
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00:07:45,071 --> 00:07:46,157
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Bob.
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00:07:46,181 --> 00:07:48,239
- They're in here. That's them.
- Who?
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00:07:48,257 --> 00:07:50,051
The hair people who work next door.
210
00:07:50,076 --> 00:07:51,276
Don't look at 'em, don't look.
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00:07:51,301 --> 00:07:53,054
But don't we want to serve them food?
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Fine, I'll take their order.
213
00:07:54,171 --> 00:07:55,429
You can do this, Linda.
214
00:07:55,454 --> 00:07:58,651
- Do you want me to take...
- No, I can do it.
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00:07:58,676 --> 00:08:01,079
Uh... h-hi, hello.
216
00:08:01,104 --> 00:08:02,587
Uh, can I take your order?
217
00:08:02,605 --> 00:08:05,008
We'll have one Burger of the
Day and fries to share. Thanks.
218
00:08:05,033 --> 00:08:06,653
Y-You work at Frolicles, don't you?
219
00:08:06,678 --> 00:08:10,254
Yeah, I'm the receptionist.
She's the shampooer.
220
00:08:10,279 --> 00:08:13,764
You know, can I just say
that your hair is amazing?
221
00:08:13,783 --> 00:08:15,266
- So is yours.
- Mm. It is.
222
00:08:15,284 --> 00:08:17,650
You should come in sometime.
Yvonne can fix that.
223
00:08:17,675 --> 00:08:19,689
She could totally fix that.
224
00:08:19,714 --> 00:08:21,455
Fix what? Who's Yvonne?
225
00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:22,962
Yvonne is the stylist.
226
00:08:22,987 --> 00:08:24,711
- And a visionary.
- Oh!
227
00:08:24,736 --> 00:08:27,582
Yeah, you're what Yvonne would
call a "caterpillar head."
228
00:08:27,607 --> 00:08:30,033
She can turn you into a butterfly head.
229
00:08:30,058 --> 00:08:33,657
You know what, Yvonne has
an opening Thursday at 3:00.
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00:08:33,682 --> 00:08:35,666
I'm gonna give it to you
because you deserve it.
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00:08:35,691 --> 00:08:37,949
And you can get the friends
and neighbors discount.
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00:08:37,974 --> 00:08:41,119
Caterpillar head,
Thursday at 3:00. Okay.
233
00:08:41,144 --> 00:08:43,886
- Wha... Uh, I-I don't know.
- You're in. You're booked.
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00:08:43,911 --> 00:08:45,124
Yvonne's gonna change your life.
235
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Get used to it. Get ready.
236
00:08:46,482 --> 00:08:48,223
You're speechless, you
don't know what to say.
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00:08:48,243 --> 00:08:51,135
- We do need food, though.
- Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay, okay.
238
00:08:51,154 --> 00:08:52,912
What just happened?
239
00:08:52,937 --> 00:08:55,450
Are you gonna get amazing
hair and then leave me?
240
00:08:55,475 --> 00:08:57,710
- I don't know.
- Well, you won't make it far,
241
00:08:57,735 --> 00:09:01,006
because Gretchen will hunt you
down and then she'll murder you.
242
00:09:01,031 --> 00:09:03,100
I know. Oh, God, she's here.
243
00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:04,125
Oh, it's Tina and Louise.
244
00:09:04,150 --> 00:09:06,196
Hi, girls.
245
00:09:06,221 --> 00:09:08,071
Why are you ducking behind the counter?
246
00:09:08,096 --> 00:09:10,039
- That's fun.
- Where's your brother?
247
00:09:10,064 --> 00:09:12,842
- Oh, right, he's at Alex's.
- He better be at Alex's.
248
00:09:12,867 --> 00:09:15,227
Leaving us... mostly
you... Doing all his work.
249
00:09:15,252 --> 00:09:17,473
I'm sure he got all the Kids
Club stuff out of his system.
250
00:09:17,497 --> 00:09:19,649
How long can an 11-year-old
boy play with blocks?
251
00:09:19,674 --> 00:09:21,590
I love blocks!
252
00:09:21,609 --> 00:09:23,547
- That's so tall.
- I know.
253
00:09:23,572 --> 00:09:26,123
But not too tall for the Hand Monster.
254
00:09:27,494 --> 00:09:29,236
Gene, do you want to do clay with me?
255
00:09:29,261 --> 00:09:32,003
Clay? I'll never say nay to clay.
256
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:35,840
- You're my best friend.
- Aw.
257
00:09:35,865 --> 00:09:38,083
A little quick, but sure, why not?
258
00:09:38,108 --> 00:09:41,368
Okay, everybody, who's
ready for parachute time?
259
00:09:41,393 --> 00:09:43,570
- Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me!
- Parachute!
260
00:09:45,443 --> 00:09:48,853
♪ All the colors of the rainbow ♪
261
00:09:48,878 --> 00:09:50,930
♪ Blow down onto my mind ♪
262
00:09:50,955 --> 00:09:53,121
♪ I'm gonna sit on my behind ♪
263
00:09:53,146 --> 00:09:55,469
♪ Until it's time for me ♪
264
00:09:55,494 --> 00:09:56,936
♪ To play with you ♪
265
00:09:56,961 --> 00:09:58,840
♪ I remember when my life ♪
266
00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:00,123
♪ It used to be ♪
267
00:10:00,148 --> 00:10:01,901
♪ Nothing but simplicity ♪
268
00:10:01,926 --> 00:10:03,184
♪ It was naptime ♪
269
00:10:03,209 --> 00:10:05,403
♪ That was the time ♪
270
00:10:05,428 --> 00:10:07,279
- ♪ That I would close my eyes. ♪
- Gene?
271
00:10:07,304 --> 00:10:09,397
- Still sleeping here.
- Gene!
272
00:10:09,422 --> 00:10:11,076
Alex! Hi, uh...
273
00:10:11,101 --> 00:10:12,284
Why are you in Kids Club?
274
00:10:12,309 --> 00:10:14,401
Lower your voice, it's naptime.
275
00:10:14,554 --> 00:10:16,144
Gene, buddy, uh...
276
00:10:16,164 --> 00:10:18,055
where are you going, and who is this?
277
00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:20,673
Oh, uh, this is just a kid
who lives across the street.
278
00:10:20,698 --> 00:10:22,893
- He babysits me sometimes.
- Mm.
279
00:10:22,912 --> 00:10:25,039
Well, please don't leave the room.
280
00:10:25,064 --> 00:10:27,589
And let's use our nap voices, 'kay?
281
00:10:27,614 --> 00:10:28,729
What are you doing here?
282
00:10:28,754 --> 00:10:30,470
I came here to look
at the job board again
283
00:10:30,494 --> 00:10:31,989
and see if I could nail
something down for you,
284
00:10:32,013 --> 00:10:33,829
and I heard you snoring.
285
00:10:33,848 --> 00:10:35,511
- You know my snore?
- Yes.
286
00:10:35,536 --> 00:10:37,552
- That's really sweet.
- What are you doing here?
287
00:10:37,577 --> 00:10:39,938
I signed up for after-school Kids Club.
288
00:10:39,963 --> 00:10:41,313
I'm reliving my youth.
289
00:10:41,338 --> 00:10:44,134
Wait, so you've been flaking
on our project to do this?
290
00:10:44,159 --> 00:10:47,252
I'm sorry, Alex. I just
really like the vibe in here.
291
00:10:47,277 --> 00:10:48,684
It's very low stress.
292
00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:51,186
Miss Erica even helps me
tie my shoes sometimes.
293
00:10:51,211 --> 00:10:53,665
And as you know, I am
not a strong shoe-tier.
294
00:10:53,690 --> 00:10:55,650
Well, what about the
Life Skills project?
295
00:10:55,675 --> 00:10:57,283
You're supposed to be my roommate.
296
00:10:57,308 --> 00:10:58,659
What about making a budget?
297
00:10:58,684 --> 00:10:59,831
I'm not ready for budgets.
298
00:10:59,856 --> 00:11:01,644
- I do blocks now.
- Gene.
299
00:11:01,669 --> 00:11:04,141
- Want to pretend we're puppies?
- Give me a second, Ryder.
300
00:11:04,166 --> 00:11:06,833
- But probably, yes.
- I'm Gene's best friend.
301
00:11:06,858 --> 00:11:08,294
The hell, Gene? You know what?
302
00:11:08,319 --> 00:11:09,959
I think we should have
a roommate breakup.
303
00:11:09,984 --> 00:11:11,223
I'm gonna talk to Ms. Twitchell
304
00:11:11,248 --> 00:11:13,340
about getting a studio
apartment for one.
305
00:11:13,365 --> 00:11:16,136
- Fine.
- Okay, well, have fun with Ryder.
306
00:11:16,161 --> 00:11:18,432
Uh, we're playing puppies, so, yeah,
307
00:11:18,457 --> 00:11:19,611
I'm gonna be having fun.
308
00:11:21,241 --> 00:11:23,862
Bad dog, Gene. Bad dog.
309
00:11:26,878 --> 00:11:29,868
Talk about coloring inside the lines.
310
00:11:29,893 --> 00:11:32,371
I know, my coloring game is incredible.
311
00:11:32,396 --> 00:11:33,729
And sure, Alex has a right
312
00:11:33,754 --> 00:11:35,554
to be a little annoyed
that I've been skipping
313
00:11:35,589 --> 00:11:39,079
all of our after-school
be-a-dumb-adult project time,
314
00:11:39,104 --> 00:11:40,442
but I wish he would see that I'm living
315
00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:43,238
my best seven-year-old
life right now.
316
00:11:43,263 --> 00:11:44,779
Uh, except that you're 11.
317
00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:46,598
- Just like Alex.
- That's ageist.
318
00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:48,519
And guess who else has
a right to be annoyed?
319
00:11:48,544 --> 00:11:52,112
I had to delegate so much work
to Tina today, I'm exhausted.
320
00:11:52,137 --> 00:11:55,273
- Yeah, I'm kind of tired, too.
- Tina, it's not all about you.
321
00:11:55,457 --> 00:11:57,343
Well, I'm sorry, but I need this.
322
00:11:57,368 --> 00:11:59,639
And it's totally worth
it. Tomorrow's a big day.
323
00:11:59,664 --> 00:12:00,898
We're making slime.
324
00:12:00,923 --> 00:12:02,849
Uh, and it's your last
chance to work with Alex
325
00:12:02,874 --> 00:12:04,950
on the project before
it's due Friday, right?
326
00:12:04,975 --> 00:12:06,261
Alex will be fine.
327
00:12:06,286 --> 00:12:07,932
He's gonna talk to Ms. Twitchell
328
00:12:07,957 --> 00:12:10,857
and do a solo no
roommate a-dull-t project.
329
00:12:10,882 --> 00:12:12,042
But won't you get an "F"?
330
00:12:12,067 --> 00:12:13,808
And get sent back to second grade?
331
00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:15,977
- I hope so.
- Gene, no.
332
00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:17,531
But if you do get sent
back to second grade,
333
00:12:17,555 --> 00:12:19,722
I think I left my
pencil in that classroom.
334
00:12:19,742 --> 00:12:21,126
Will you keep an eye out for it?
335
00:12:21,151 --> 00:12:22,779
It's yellow and it
has a number two on it.
336
00:12:22,803 --> 00:12:24,911
Gene, Gene, Gene.
337
00:12:24,936 --> 00:12:26,137
Do you want to play clay with me?
338
00:12:26,139 --> 00:12:27,540
Uh, I'm kind of doing slime.
339
00:12:27,565 --> 00:12:29,186
You know, 'cause it's slime day.
340
00:12:29,211 --> 00:12:30,285
Play clay with me.
341
00:12:30,310 --> 00:12:31,810
Maybe later, 'kay, Ryder?
342
00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:32,943
You're a poo-poo head.
343
00:12:32,968 --> 00:12:34,802
That's not technically true, Ryder.
344
00:12:35,732 --> 00:12:38,051
- Um, Becca, that's my slime.
- Mine!
345
00:12:38,076 --> 00:12:40,214
I mean, I can give you a little bit.
346
00:12:40,239 --> 00:12:41,905
Aah!
347
00:12:41,937 --> 00:12:43,667
- Whee!
- Uh-oh, Mess Patrol.
348
00:12:43,692 --> 00:12:45,300
♪ Clean the mess, tidy up ♪
349
00:12:45,325 --> 00:12:46,508
♪ Yes Mess Patrol... ♪
350
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:49,888
Singing doesn't help in
this particular situation!
351
00:12:51,169 --> 00:12:53,535
Okay, it's time for my
appointment with Yvonne.
352
00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:54,810
Okay, have fun.
353
00:12:54,835 --> 00:12:56,636
I'm just gonna have her touch it up.
354
00:12:56,655 --> 00:12:57,724
It's no big deal.
355
00:12:57,749 --> 00:12:58,915
Gretchen!
356
00:12:58,940 --> 00:13:00,927
What are you doing hair... I mean here?
357
00:13:00,952 --> 00:13:03,154
Nice.
358
00:13:03,179 --> 00:13:04,950
Oh, I just came in to say hi,
359
00:13:04,975 --> 00:13:06,271
have a little lunch.
360
00:13:06,304 --> 00:13:08,379
That's good, 'cause we have
lunch. That's our thing.
361
00:13:08,404 --> 00:13:10,278
Yeah. I haven't seen
you in a while, Linda.
362
00:13:10,303 --> 00:13:13,192
Let's catch up, girl talk.
You can talk, too, Bob.
363
00:13:13,217 --> 00:13:15,823
- Looking good, by the way.
- Uh, th-thanks, Gretchen.
364
00:13:15,848 --> 00:13:18,560
- Hey, were you going somewhere?
- No...
365
00:13:18,585 --> 00:13:20,685
I just like to move my purse around
366
00:13:20,710 --> 00:13:21,784
every once in a while.
367
00:13:21,809 --> 00:13:23,849
Okay, that's enough.
Here comes the apron.
368
00:13:23,874 --> 00:13:26,169
So, new salon next door, huh?
369
00:13:26,194 --> 00:13:28,255
Wha... Where? A salon?
370
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:30,567
- Yeah, oh, yeah, I hardly noticed.
- They're fancy.
371
00:13:30,592 --> 00:13:32,777
Looks like they sweep up all the hair.
372
00:13:32,802 --> 00:13:36,122
La-di-da. Listen, I know
they're right next door
373
00:13:36,147 --> 00:13:38,147
and their scissors aren't rusty
374
00:13:38,172 --> 00:13:39,974
and their combs have all their teeth
375
00:13:39,999 --> 00:13:41,596
and they don't have flies,
376
00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:43,833
but please don't ever go there, okay?
377
00:13:43,858 --> 00:13:46,600
Yeah, no, of course
not. Yeah, no. Yuck. Oof.
378
00:13:46,625 --> 00:13:49,044
I don't even want to think
about you going there.
379
00:13:49,069 --> 00:13:51,380
I just go to a dark place.
380
00:13:51,405 --> 00:13:54,314
A dark, dark place.
381
00:13:54,339 --> 00:13:56,523
Oh, uh, the spoon!
382
00:13:56,548 --> 00:13:58,607
Plus, can you even
imagine what they'd do
383
00:13:58,625 --> 00:14:01,718
to your reverse cowlick and
your swirly thing in the back
384
00:14:01,743 --> 00:14:04,819
and your stubborn grays and
your bleeding ear problem?
385
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:06,888
- They don't know you.
- Uh...
386
00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:08,497
Burger of the Day sound good?
387
00:14:08,522 --> 00:14:10,333
Let me walk this order
back to Bob in the kitchen.
388
00:14:10,358 --> 00:14:12,716
Uh, you can just hand
it to me. I'm right here.
389
00:14:12,741 --> 00:14:15,153
No, no, you might drop it.
I-I'm gonna walk it back.
390
00:14:15,178 --> 00:14:17,161
- Bob, I can't go next door.
- Why?
391
00:14:17,186 --> 00:14:19,044
Because Gretchen is terrifying?
392
00:14:19,069 --> 00:14:20,521
Yeah, so y... So you're gonna go for me.
393
00:14:20,546 --> 00:14:23,055
- Wait, wait, what?
- If I'm a last-second no-show,
394
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:24,583
I'll never get an
appointment there again.
395
00:14:24,608 --> 00:14:27,724
You have to go, get a haircut,
and get me rescheduled.
396
00:14:27,749 --> 00:14:29,874
So we're gonna get
two expensive haircuts?
397
00:14:29,899 --> 00:14:32,063
They're discounted expensive haircuts.
398
00:14:32,088 --> 00:14:34,530
Please, Bob, I want
a fancy salon haircut
399
00:14:34,555 --> 00:14:36,121
once in my life before I die.
400
00:14:36,146 --> 00:14:37,996
- Fine.
- No, no, where are you going?
401
00:14:38,021 --> 00:14:40,855
Not the front. She'll
see you. Go out the back.
402
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,322
And run, but don't be
sweaty. And check your breath.
403
00:14:46,167 --> 00:14:47,224
Oh...
404
00:14:47,674 --> 00:14:50,317
H... Um, hi. I'm here for my wife.
405
00:14:50,342 --> 00:14:52,936
Uh, she can't come, so she asked me
406
00:14:52,961 --> 00:14:55,652
- to take her spot?
- Oh, smart move, wife.
407
00:14:55,677 --> 00:14:56,982
Also, yeah, you could use it.
408
00:14:57,007 --> 00:14:59,345
- Come on, let's get you shampooed.
- Oh, that's okay.
409
00:14:59,370 --> 00:15:03,755
I washed it yester... last week... ago.
410
00:15:03,780 --> 00:15:06,013
Can I get you a sparkling
water or espresso?
411
00:15:06,038 --> 00:15:09,389
- Or a glass of wine?
- Oh, um, I don't know.
412
00:15:09,414 --> 00:15:10,746
- I...
- I'd have all three.
413
00:15:10,771 --> 00:15:12,388
We call that "getting
your tips frosted."
414
00:15:12,413 --> 00:15:14,083
Unless you're getting your tips frosted,
415
00:15:14,108 --> 00:15:15,792
which is actually really hot right now
416
00:15:15,817 --> 00:15:17,483
with middle-aged men
who don't know better.
417
00:15:17,508 --> 00:15:19,427
All right, let's frost my tips.
418
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:21,211
Uh, the-the drinks one.
419
00:15:23,036 --> 00:15:24,053
Hey, Gene.
420
00:15:24,078 --> 00:15:26,802
Everything okay? You're
not wiggling much.
421
00:15:26,827 --> 00:15:29,450
I don't always have
the wiggles, Miss Erica!
422
00:15:29,475 --> 00:15:30,900
Sorry, sorry.
423
00:15:32,398 --> 00:15:34,473
Can I come in?
424
00:15:34,498 --> 00:15:36,890
No. Get out of here.
425
00:15:36,915 --> 00:15:39,082
Where is your mom?
426
00:15:39,107 --> 00:15:42,521
Gretchen killed her, and you're next.
427
00:15:42,546 --> 00:15:44,971
Bob, it's okay. Gretchen
went back to work.
428
00:15:44,996 --> 00:15:47,247
- Oh, she's alive.
- Eh?
429
00:15:47,272 --> 00:15:49,583
New do for Daddy.
430
00:15:49,608 --> 00:15:51,966
It is. Oh, it is.
431
00:15:51,991 --> 00:15:54,747
- So? Was it... ?
- Amazing.
432
00:15:54,772 --> 00:15:56,724
Yvonne is a genius.
433
00:15:56,749 --> 00:15:58,658
- Are you drunk?
- I'm gorgeous.
434
00:15:58,677 --> 00:16:02,075
- O-Ok-Okay, settle down.
- And I got you in the book.
435
00:16:02,100 --> 00:16:03,968
- Yeah? When, when?
- Today!
436
00:16:03,993 --> 00:16:05,993
- Oh!
- They squeezed you in at 5:00.
437
00:16:06,018 --> 00:16:07,518
Really? Okay!
438
00:16:07,543 --> 00:16:08,841
Okay, I'm actually gonna do this.
439
00:16:08,873 --> 00:16:10,350
I'm gonna go to the
bathroom and look at myself
440
00:16:10,374 --> 00:16:12,329
for a while, and I have to pee.
441
00:16:12,354 --> 00:16:14,187
I drank so many different drinks.
442
00:16:15,321 --> 00:16:20,090
"A dog sits on a log with a frog."
443
00:16:20,115 --> 00:16:21,781
- Where are you going with that?
- Mm...
444
00:16:21,806 --> 00:16:23,668
That doesn't go on me, Mason.
445
00:16:23,693 --> 00:16:26,044
- Aah! That's it! I'm out!
- Gene,
446
00:16:26,069 --> 00:16:27,661
if you don't want to listen to the book,
447
00:16:27,686 --> 00:16:29,933
you're welcome to join
Piper over by the puzzles.
448
00:16:29,958 --> 00:16:31,608
Nope, I think I'm gonna go.
449
00:16:31,626 --> 00:16:33,385
I'm sorry, buddy.
450
00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:34,771
You can't go until pickup time.
451
00:16:34,796 --> 00:16:36,411
Miss Erica, here's the thing...
452
00:16:36,436 --> 00:16:38,253
You're gonna laugh when you hear this...
453
00:16:38,278 --> 00:16:41,021
I'm not actually seven. I am 11.
454
00:16:41,046 --> 00:16:43,298
And I am a
500-year-old wizard!
455
00:16:43,323 --> 00:16:45,755
Not helping, Becca.
456
00:16:45,780 --> 00:16:47,876
Gene, I know you're not seven.
457
00:16:47,901 --> 00:16:49,681
It's pretty obvious, 'cause, you know,
458
00:16:49,706 --> 00:16:51,206
I know what children look like.
459
00:16:51,231 --> 00:16:54,435
- Gotcha.
- I'm sorry, but I am leaving!
460
00:16:54,460 --> 00:16:56,535
You can't go without
someone signing you out,
461
00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:58,135
no matter what age you say you are.
462
00:16:58,160 --> 00:16:59,677
Okay, fine, my dad Gus,
463
00:16:59,702 --> 00:17:02,616
who I call Gus and not Dad,
is over in yoga right now.
464
00:17:02,641 --> 00:17:05,185
- He can sign me out.
- There is no yoga on Thursdays.
465
00:17:05,210 --> 00:17:07,120
What? Why no yoga on Thursdays?
466
00:17:07,145 --> 00:17:08,685
That's, like, when you need it the most!
467
00:17:08,725 --> 00:17:10,715
Sorry, you're gonna have to stay here
468
00:17:10,740 --> 00:17:12,247
until a parent signs you out.
469
00:17:12,272 --> 00:17:14,364
But I want to go! I need to leave!
470
00:17:14,389 --> 00:17:15,904
Oh, man, I'm gonna fail the project,
471
00:17:15,929 --> 00:17:17,951
and Alex is gonna be mad at me forever!
472
00:17:17,976 --> 00:17:19,325
- Your babysitter?
- Yes!
473
00:17:19,350 --> 00:17:21,111
I should've been doing
pretend roommate stuff
474
00:17:21,144 --> 00:17:22,977
with him this whole
week, but now I'm trapped
475
00:17:23,002 --> 00:17:26,027
in this booger parlor!
What's wrong with me?!
476
00:17:26,052 --> 00:17:28,474
Someone's having big feelings.
477
00:17:28,499 --> 00:17:31,599
Hell yeah, I am! When's
juice and crackers?
478
00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:37,035
Miss Erica, can I get my one phone call?
479
00:17:37,060 --> 00:17:38,410
Gene, this isn't jail.
480
00:17:38,435 --> 00:17:40,566
Says the lady who can
leave whenever she wants.
481
00:17:40,591 --> 00:17:43,629
You think I can leave? I've
had to pee for three hours.
482
00:17:43,654 --> 00:17:45,320
Yes, you can use the phone.
483
00:17:45,345 --> 00:17:48,422
- Dial nine to get out.
- Oh, if only it was that easy.
484
00:17:49,897 --> 00:17:52,697
Bob's Slopshop, this is
Tina. I have weird neck sweat.
485
00:17:52,722 --> 00:17:55,372
-How may I help you?
-My neck sweat's not weird. Is it?
486
00:17:55,397 --> 00:17:57,888
Louise, it's Gene. Listen,
I'm trapped in Kids Club.
487
00:17:57,913 --> 00:18:00,478
There's no yoga on Thursdays,
and Miss Erica won't let me out.
488
00:18:00,503 --> 00:18:02,855
Please help me. I want
to be a tween again.
489
00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:04,880
I need to go to Alex's
house, or he'll hate me
490
00:18:04,905 --> 00:18:07,009
and we'll never be real-life roomies.
491
00:18:07,034 --> 00:18:09,770
I guess I could help if you
did all my restaurant stuff
492
00:18:09,795 --> 00:18:11,177
- for the rest of my life.
- One week.
493
00:18:11,202 --> 00:18:13,849
- Sold. What do you want me to do?
- I need you and Tina
494
00:18:13,874 --> 00:18:15,725
to pretend to be Gus and sign me out.
495
00:18:15,750 --> 00:18:17,200
Pretend to be Gus.
496
00:18:17,225 --> 00:18:19,650
Yeah, get a long trench coat,
climb on Tina's shoulders,
497
00:18:19,675 --> 00:18:21,491
fake beard... boom, you're Gus.
498
00:18:21,516 --> 00:18:23,574
- That's not gonna...
- Get me out of here.
499
00:18:23,599 --> 00:18:25,044
I'm, like, three
seconds away from getting
500
00:18:25,069 --> 00:18:26,778
the hand, foot and mouth disease.
501
00:18:26,803 --> 00:18:29,212
All right, all right. We're on our way.
502
00:18:29,477 --> 00:18:31,200
Why aren't you sleeping, Gene?
503
00:18:31,225 --> 00:18:32,974
'Cause I'm getting out of here, Ryder.
504
00:18:32,999 --> 00:18:34,474
I'm too old for this place.
505
00:18:34,499 --> 00:18:35,708
But you savor this.
506
00:18:35,733 --> 00:18:38,040
Savor every perfect, carefree minute
507
00:18:38,065 --> 00:18:40,657
- of being a little kid, 'kay?
- 'Kay, bye.
508
00:18:40,682 --> 00:18:42,439
Hello, um...
509
00:18:42,464 --> 00:18:44,631
What? Louise! You brought Dad?
510
00:18:44,656 --> 00:18:46,935
Sorry. This is the only
thing we could think of,
511
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,717
after not thinking for very long,
512
00:18:48,742 --> 00:18:50,075
because this has to end.
513
00:18:50,094 --> 00:18:52,987
Oh, my God, Gene really
crashed a day care?
514
00:18:53,005 --> 00:18:55,413
I didn't crash it. I wiggled my way in.
515
00:18:55,433 --> 00:18:58,803
- You're Gene's real father, I take it?
- Yeah. Yes.
516
00:18:58,828 --> 00:19:01,011
So, I've been letting him get signed out
517
00:19:01,036 --> 00:19:03,693
by whoever that
80-year-old man was. Cool.
518
00:19:03,718 --> 00:19:05,977
Gene, do you want to tell
me about that real quick?
519
00:19:06,002 --> 00:19:07,464
- It was Gus.
- Okay.
520
00:19:07,489 --> 00:19:09,532
I think I have to buy him
a Father's Day present.
521
00:19:09,557 --> 00:19:13,818
You should, and also me,
one, as well, at some point.
522
00:19:13,843 --> 00:19:15,716
So, you're signing Gene out?
523
00:19:15,741 --> 00:19:17,489
- Yes.
- I love your hair, by the way.
524
00:19:17,514 --> 00:19:19,565
- Me, too.
- He's taken.
525
00:19:20,929 --> 00:19:23,430
Got room for bunk beds
in that studio apartment?
526
00:19:23,455 --> 00:19:25,357
Gene? What are you doing here?
527
00:19:25,382 --> 00:19:26,973
I came to say sorry.
528
00:19:26,998 --> 00:19:29,400
- What about Kids Club?
- I'm done with all that.
529
00:19:29,425 --> 00:19:31,110
I know what being seven is like.
530
00:19:31,135 --> 00:19:33,648
I think I'm ready for
stuff I don't know.
531
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:36,674
Future stuff, like, maybe
one day I'll have an alcohol,
532
00:19:36,699 --> 00:19:39,642
or I'll listen to informative
podcasts on my commute.
533
00:19:39,667 --> 00:19:42,104
So, will you take me
back as your roomie?
534
00:19:42,129 --> 00:19:44,899
Even though I acted like
a snotty seven-year-old?
535
00:19:44,924 --> 00:19:46,775
Sure. Rents are outrageous.
536
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,686
I've been driving a
pretend Uber at night
537
00:19:48,711 --> 00:19:49,710
just to pay the pretend bills.
538
00:19:49,728 --> 00:19:51,188
Plus, I love bunk beds.
539
00:19:51,213 --> 00:19:53,093
I don't know why we didn't
think of that before.
540
00:19:53,118 --> 00:19:55,096
Now we have more room for
that hot fudge sundae bar.
541
00:19:55,121 --> 00:19:57,361
Is there still space for
our rotating DJ booth?
542
00:19:57,386 --> 00:19:59,903
- 'Cause that's a must-have.
- DJ booth bunk beds?
543
00:19:59,928 --> 00:20:03,621
DJ booth bunk beds! We're
so good at being adults!
544
00:20:03,841 --> 00:20:06,669
Oh, you've got a lot going on back here.
545
00:20:06,733 --> 00:20:08,508
Yeah. I got a reverse cowlick.
546
00:20:08,533 --> 00:20:10,332
Okay. It's, like, pulling my hand in.
547
00:20:10,357 --> 00:20:12,066
Sorry. I'm sure Yvonne
will know what to do
548
00:20:12,068 --> 00:20:13,658
- with that, right?
- Oh, sure, sure.
549
00:20:13,683 --> 00:20:15,971
Everyone's hair is the same to Yvonne.
550
00:20:15,996 --> 00:20:17,123
Everyone's a butterfly
551
00:20:17,147 --> 00:20:19,050
- head waiting to happen.
- Oh.
552
00:20:19,075 --> 00:20:21,712
This'll be here for when
you come out from under.
553
00:20:21,737 --> 00:20:23,404
And you're lucky.
554
00:20:23,429 --> 00:20:25,503
We're not gonna be in this
location for much longer.
555
00:20:25,528 --> 00:20:27,558
Yeah. Our prices are too
high for this neighborhood.
556
00:20:27,583 --> 00:20:30,417
- Oh, yeah?
- You've seen this neighborhood, right?
557
00:20:30,442 --> 00:20:31,838
Um, yes, I have.
558
00:20:31,863 --> 00:20:34,179
So make sure you take
our card when you leave.
559
00:20:34,198 --> 00:20:36,226
'Cause what you want to
do is get with one stylist
560
00:20:36,251 --> 00:20:39,086
who knows your hair but
also knows you as a person.
561
00:20:39,111 --> 00:20:42,446
And once you find that stylist,
you never want to give them up.
562
00:20:42,471 --> 00:20:44,833
Oh, my God. I am so sorry.
563
00:20:44,858 --> 00:20:47,601
I just remembered I
have to be somewhere.
564
00:20:49,294 --> 00:20:50,604
Bye! Sorry, bye.
565
00:20:51,865 --> 00:20:54,866
Got room for a reverse cowlick?
566
00:20:54,886 --> 00:20:55,943
Linda?
567
00:20:55,961 --> 00:20:57,869
Oh, that wine.
568
00:20:57,889 --> 00:21:01,873
♪ DJ Bunk Beds ♪
569
00:21:01,893 --> 00:21:06,044
♪ DJ Bunk Beds ♪
570
00:21:06,063 --> 00:21:07,955
♪ Treats, bunk-bed-sleep and beats ♪
571
00:21:08,048 --> 00:21:09,990
♪ Make a tasty, funky result ♪
572
00:21:10,015 --> 00:21:12,770
♪ This is what it's like ♪
573
00:21:12,795 --> 00:21:14,737
♪ To be a responsible adult ♪
574
00:21:14,762 --> 00:21:16,521
- ♪ Ooh ♪
- ♪ Push up the faders ♪
575
00:21:16,546 --> 00:21:17,971
♪ Twist the knobs ♪
576
00:21:17,996 --> 00:21:20,134
♪ Pump up the beat, pull the handle ♪
577
00:21:20,159 --> 00:21:22,221
♪ And bring that sweet,
sweet soft serve down ♪
578
00:21:22,246 --> 00:21:24,138
♪ DJ Bunk Beds ♪
579
00:21:24,156 --> 00:21:25,748
♪ DJ Bunk Beds ♪
580
00:21:25,773 --> 00:21:27,808
♪ DJ Bunk Beds ♪
581
00:21:27,826 --> 00:21:29,234
♪ DJ Bunk Beds. ♪
582
00:21:29,253 --> 00:21:34,015
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --