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[♪ theme music playing]
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The first thing I'm gonna do
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{\an8}- with these pancakes is eat them.
- There she is.
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{\an8}Are you excited, Tina?
Are you pumped?
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{\an8}- Should I be?
- Yes, you should be!
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{\an8}The Cheese Royale starts today.
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{\an8}Oh, that. Yeah. So pumped.
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{\an8}Oh, yeah, your Royal Cheese thing.
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{\an8}Right. What... What is it again?
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{\an8}The Cheese Royale is a game
where eighth-graders form teams
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{\an8}and then fling slices of American cheese
at each other.
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{\an8}And if you get hit with cheese,
you're out.
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{\an8}And you can cheese people anywhere
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{\an8}- except school or inside their house.
- Uh, okay.
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{\an8}It's just some dumb
eighth-grade tradition.
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{\an8}Some dumb eighth-grade tradition?
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{\an8}The Cheese Royale is the only reason
I plan to go to eighth grade.
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{\an8}There's an eighth one now?
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{\an8}Ooh, it does sound fun.
Is there a prize?
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{\an8}Yeah, pride, honor,
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{\an8}knowing you're the best of the best.
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{\an8}Plus, also money.
Lots of money. Twenties of dollars.
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{\an8}And Matthew Ross's brother
works at Pizza Guys,
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{\an8}and they send free pizzas
to the winners
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{\an8}when his boss isn't around.
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{\an8}I'm surprised the school
is okay with all this.
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{\an8}Officially, the school is aware of it,
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{\an8}but they have no comment.
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{\an8}That was their reaction to my
petition for Mariachi Mondays.
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{\an8}It kinda just sounds like
there's gonna be a lot
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{\an8}of cheese slices
on the ground everywhere.
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{\an8}Yeah, Dad. That's what war is like.
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{\an8}So, what's going on, Tina?
You're not excited about this?
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{\an8}Not really. I mean,
I'm doing it 'cause everybody does it.
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{\an8}But I tried flinging cheese
and I was not great at it.
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{\an8}I just don't have what it takes
to throw cheese at people.
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{\an8}Aw. No, honey. Sure you do.
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{\an8}Tina, it's fine.
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{\an8}The Cheese Royale is 10% cheese throwing
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{\an8}and 90% strategy.
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{\an8}Come on, get your game face on.
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{\an8}Everyone picks their teams
today at lunch, right?
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{\an8}Who are we thinking?
Who are we talking about?
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I mean,
I was gonna group up with Sushmita?
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She doesn't seem like
the Cheese Royale type either.
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We'll just get through it
and have a couple laughs
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- along the way.
- Hmm.
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Ooh, like my circumcision.
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[all chattering indistinctly]
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Hey, Sushmita, want to team up
for Cheese Royale?
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Half-ass it and just
enjoy each other's company?
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Oh. Uh, I already grouped up
with a team.
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You did? But I thought
we were gonna be teammates.
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Tina, you literally told me
not to pick you for a teammate.
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What are you talking about?
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Ugh. I'm so bad at throwing cheese.
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News flash.
Do not pick me as a teammate.
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Okay, got it.
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I thought you meant
"Okay, got it," like
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"Okay, I got your news flash."
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I got both of them.
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Uh, I thought we were gonna bond
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over complaining about this game.
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But you're telling me you're into it?
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- So into it.
- Well, I hope you're very happy
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with your team of people that all care
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- about this dumb, stupid cheese thing.
- I am.
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Well, I'm gonna find
another team right now.
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Jimmy Jr, can I be on your team?
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Uh, we do still have
one spot open, so I guess,
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but didn't you just call this a dumb,
stupid cheese thing?
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No. I was talking about a dumb,
stupid grilled cheese
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I had the other day.
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Okay, uh, I guess, then,
you're on the team.
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[whispering] We're meeting
at Michael Carlish's house today
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after school to talk strategy
and practice throwing cheese.
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Cool. I will-will be there.
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Can't wait.
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But we need to wrap up, like, 4:15
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'cause I have a dentist appointment.
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- It's just a checkup.
- Got it.
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[Louise] Dang it, Tina's with her team
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in a secret location
strategizing right now.
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I've never wanted to switch bodies
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with a pubey teen girl more in my life.
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She's in a secret location?
Is she at a rave?
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- To-go order is up.
- Shh.
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- What?
- I'm eavesdropping.
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- Oh, no.
- Yeah, fighting couple, table four.
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Well, then, you know what?
I think we should just break up.
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- [Linda gasps]
- [man] Is this because of Julie?
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- [woman] Julie?
- Hmm. Julie.
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I'm moving in to hear more.
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No. No, Lin, you're gonna blow it.
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- What are you talking about?
- Sorry.
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It's just, you're not doing
a very sneaky job
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- of eavesdropping.
- What?
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I'm fine. I'm a pro.
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It's out... it's outrageous.
That's what it is.
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It's ov... You've...
You've crossed a line here.
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What do you say we talk
about this somewhere else?
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- For sure.
- Bye.
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Thanks for coming.
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- [door opens, bell jingles]
- Lin, see?
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- [door closes]
- What? That wasn't 'cause of me.
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They left 'cause they wanted to talk
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about Julie outside in the sun.
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- Uh-huh.
- I'm a good eavesdropper.
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I mean, I love you, but--
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- What?
- You're not.
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- Yeah.
- It's true.
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- No.
- Yup.
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- Yeah.
- Very true.
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But you're good at
dropping other things.
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Names, hints, eggs.
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Just now, you were doing
a bunch of things
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that were all bustable.
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Bustable? What was I doing
that was bustable?
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- Name one thing.
- You were making a ton of eye contact.
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I wouldn't say a ton.
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You wiped a hole in the counter.
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At one point,
the towel wasn't even on the counter.
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You were just kind of wiping air.
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- No.
- Lin, you made active listening sounds.
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You stared right at them
and went, "Hmm. Julie."
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- Did I?
- You did.
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- Mm-hmm.
- Damn it.
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But eavesdropping's
my favorite thing.
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What's the point of having a restaurant
if you can't eavesdrop?
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Look, maybe we can help you...
I think.
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We can teach you
how to be not so bad at it?
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[sighs] Okay, fine.
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And then we'll teach you how to flirt
with the cook for free fries.
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- Mmm.
- [Bob] Mmm.
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So we do
a motion offense-defense combo
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with three attackers
and two floaters.
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- Love it.
- Yeah, that makes sense.
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- What do you think, Tina?
- Sorry.
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Was that about the game?
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I thought
maybe you guys were talking
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about a movie you all saw.
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Should we do some target practice?
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I brought practice cheese.
It's expired.
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My dad was all like,
"Go nuts with it."
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Great. I'm... gonna go pee.
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All right,
everyone aim for the chair.
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Michael, can we cheese
your handsome Adirondack?
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- Yeah, I think it's cheese-proof.
- [grunts] Come on.
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- I feel good about that one. All right.
- [grunts]
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[Zeke] Jimmy Jr.!
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Good God, I felt the wind
coming off that one!
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- Wow!
- [grunts]
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- [laughs] Nice tossing, Tex.
- [grunts]
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[Zeke] Whoa! Killer Kelly!
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Coming from downtown!
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[laughs] The other teams
won't know what hit 'em.
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- What the...
- Dude, what?
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- Argh!
- [grunts]
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Oh, man, no! Not J-Ju, too!
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So that bathroom was ocupado.
I can go later.
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What... happened here?
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[grunts]
I don't understand.
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- I just... I just don't understand.
- It was so quick.
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- We all got cheesed.
- Wait. Really?
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Someone cheesed all of us
from over the fence.
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Not all of us.
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- Take cover, T-dog!
- Ahhh!
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- Where are they?
- Maybe they're gone.
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Tina, they didn't get you.
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You're the last one alive
on our team.
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- You're our only hope.
- Cool. Cool, cool.
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I love the pressure.
Perfect. Yes, please.
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[Jimmy Jr.] There we were,
a well-oiled, dominant team,
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plus Tina,
talking winning strategy
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at our secret location.
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When out of nowhere,
it was like, thwap, thwap, thwap-thwap!
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We didn't even see who did it!
Four of us cheesed by a ghost!
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So impressive.
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And now it's all on Tina.
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The hopes and dreams
of our entire team.
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- Yup.
- All right, she's got it. She's got it.
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- [laughs] Probably.
- Uh... maybe.
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- Um...
- Tina, are you okay?
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Sorry for your... loss?
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No, yeah.
I love that this happened.
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It was smart of the cheeser
to cheese us first.
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I mean, Zeke and I were some of
the top threats in the game.
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I can't believe these beefy mitts
will never get to work their magic.
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00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,064
This cheeser must be a jock.
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00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:40,108
Probably someone who plays
basketball or baseball.
191
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,317
- Maybe Aiden Strider.
- Oh, yeah.
192
00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:43,944
Aiden's cute.
193
00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:46,614
- Could be Brady Griffin.
- Brady's cute.
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00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:48,950
T-dog, you got this?
'Cause your face kind of
195
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,743
looks like you might not.
You all right?
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00:06:50,868 --> 00:06:52,370
I don't... know.
197
00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:54,789
Uh, that's the spirit?
198
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:57,083
- Um, Tina, can I have a word with you?
- Sure?
199
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:59,460
- Ow.
- Tina, listen to yourself.
200
00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:01,921
"I don't know." You're the
last one alive on your team!
201
00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:03,548
This is what we trained for.
202
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,174
- If we had trained.
- You should have trained.
203
00:07:05,299 --> 00:07:08,636
- Uh-huh.
- Get... in... the... game.
204
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:11,305
- Now who's my cheese warrior?
- Mmm, me?
205
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,099
- So intimidating.
- Ugh!
206
00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:16,185
Okay. A big part
of successful eavesdropping
207
00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:18,312
is looking like
you're believably busy.
208
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,523
And I don't mean,
like, wiping the counter.
209
00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:23,025
Wiping the counter is
a big giveaway that you're listening.
210
00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:24,777
- Total giveaway.
- Putting away clean cups.
211
00:07:24,902 --> 00:07:26,946
That's real, that's believable.
212
00:07:27,071 --> 00:07:29,490
Also, these need to be put away,
so we should do that.
213
00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:30,992
Yeah, okay.
214
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,743
Another big part
of eavesdropping, Lin,
215
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,787
a blank expression.
Look at me.
216
00:07:34,912 --> 00:07:36,372
Oh, yeah.
Look at those dead eyes.
217
00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:38,666
- Soulless.
- I don't... I don't know about soulless.
218
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:40,209
He looks like a sad corpse, right?
219
00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:42,252
Let me try it. How's this?
220
00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:44,755
[Teddy] Still pretty lively.
You have a lot of natural gusto.
221
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:46,132
Bob doesn't have to overcome that.
222
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:48,050
Hmm. Uh, how about a little drill?
223
00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:50,344
Lin, y-you stand over there
and put away the cups,
224
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,930
and then we're gonna have
a really intriguing conversation,
225
00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:54,974
and you will try
to eavesdrop on us without,
226
00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:57,018
you know, doing the stuff
you normally do.
227
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:59,020
- Hmm.
- So, I'm, uh...
228
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:01,355
I'm embezzling money
from the company.
229
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,524
What? Are you serious
right now, Bob?
230
00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:05,526
- [Linda] Hmm.
- Lin, you just "hmm-ed."
231
00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:06,819
Oh, shush. No, I didn't.
232
00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:08,445
That was about something else.
233
00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:10,155
It's an interesting cup
I was putting away.
234
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,283
- Keep going. I got this.
- Okay.
235
00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:14,744
How does embezzling work, Bob?
I've never understood it.
236
00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:16,996
Like, which one's embezzling
and which one's bedazzling?
237
00:08:17,121 --> 00:08:18,498
Linda, y-you can't move closer.
238
00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:20,957
Oh, yeah.
What you got to do is figure out
239
00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:23,127
the maximum distance
you can be from the conversation
240
00:08:23,252 --> 00:08:24,879
and then stay in that zone.
241
00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:26,588
Right, right.
Okay, you keep talking.
242
00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:28,674
And what's racketeering?
Is that like pickleball?
243
00:08:28,799 --> 00:08:30,801
- Oh, speak up.
- Can't say that.
244
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:32,512
- Number one rule, really.
- Yeah.
245
00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:35,389
Look, I've done some thinking,
a little strategizing.
246
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:36,807
And I actually think there's a way
247
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:38,809
you can win this thing maybe.
248
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:40,436
Here's the plan.
For the first few days,
249
00:08:40,561 --> 00:08:42,813
you lay low, let these
other bozos cheese each other.
250
00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:45,316
Uh, okay.
Lay low. I could do that.
251
00:08:45,441 --> 00:08:47,193
Um, l-like how?
252
00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:49,654
Well, school is a safe zone,
so you could just stick around
253
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,739
after school and go
to an after-school activity.
254
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:53,741
Go to... Chess Club.
255
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:55,535
But I'm not in Chess Club.
256
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,495
Are you saying "chest club"?
I should join.
257
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,121
Exhibit A and B.
258
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:00,956
Gene, shush.
And you'll stay after school
259
00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:02,500
for 45 to 65 minutes.
260
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:04,043
And when you leave school,
261
00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:05,795
switch up
your appearance a little.
262
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,672
Grab a hat
from lost and found.
263
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:10,299
[Gene] Check for lice!
No, don't. Keep it interesting.
264
00:09:10,424 --> 00:09:12,343
[Louise] You'll leave out of
a different exit each day.
265
00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:15,179
Then, under no circumstances
do you go home.
266
00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:17,890
Cheesers are gonna be
expecting you anywhere along the route
267
00:09:18,015 --> 00:09:21,352
from school to our apartment,
so you go somewhere else.
268
00:09:21,477 --> 00:09:23,771
You don't run,
but you move quickly.
269
00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:25,981
Today it's gonna be the hair
salon where Gretchen works.
270
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:27,817
Stay at the salon.
Read some magazines.
271
00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:29,484
[Gene] You know,
a blowout wouldn't kill you.
272
00:09:29,485 --> 00:09:31,821
[Louise] Then, at 6:00,
when the cheesing hours are over,
273
00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:33,990
you head home
and live to fight another day.
274
00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:36,075
Then you get to do it
all over again tomorrow.
275
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,159
[Tina] Got it. I think. I hope.
276
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,787
Um, can you say it two more times?
277
00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:42,205
Never mind, I got it.
I-I got it... sort of.
278
00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:45,626
♪ Oh, please say cheese ♪
279
00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:47,420
♪ 'Cause I got you ♪
280
00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:49,755
♪ And I got you
and I got you, too ♪
281
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,757
- ♪ Cheese ♪
- ♪ Oh, please ♪
282
00:09:51,882 --> 00:09:53,676
- ♪ Pretty please ♪
- ♪ Say cheese ♪
283
00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:55,428
- ♪ Pretty cheese ♪
- ♪ 'Cause I got you ♪
284
00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:57,763
♪ And I got you and I got you, too ♪
285
00:09:57,888 --> 00:09:59,848
- ♪ Cheese ♪
- ♪ Oh, please say cheese ♪
286
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:02,393
[Zeke] Whoa! The Big Cheese
took out some heavy hitters!
287
00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:05,146
{\an8}Aiden got Big Cheesed.
Ronald got Big Cheesed.
288
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,148
{\an8}Katie, Josh,
both got Big Cheesed.
289
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,774
{\an8}And we still don't know who it is.
290
00:10:08,899 --> 00:10:10,568
{\an8}I mean, they've never been seen.
291
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:12,986
{\an8}Striking from the shadows
like an angel of death.
292
00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:15,323
It's unprecedented.
Oh, but, uh, also,
293
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:18,117
uh, you got this, Tina.
You can totally stay alive.
294
00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:20,786
Yeah. Are you getting
enough sleep, Tina? Enough protein?
295
00:10:20,911 --> 00:10:22,330
Here, eat this. It's a chicken nugget.
296
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:23,873
- Oh. Thanks.
- Stay strong!
297
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:26,000
- You're our only hope!
- The Big Cheese.
298
00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:28,835
The Big Cheese.
Changing the whole game.
299
00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:30,671
They don't celebrate,
they don't get into fling-offs.
300
00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:32,298
They're above all that.
301
00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:33,924
They're a technician.
They're a visionary.
302
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:36,010
Is this supposed
to be a pep talk for me?
303
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:39,096
Oh. Yeah, but, uh,
you can totally beat them.
304
00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:41,807
- Oh, good.
- So who is the Big Cheese?
305
00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:43,434
Could be Will. He's athletic.
306
00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:44,977
Yeah, look how he chews.
307
00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:46,771
- Effortless.
- Could be Chelsea.
308
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,356
I mean, this is so Chelsea.
309
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:49,774
She'd probably
throw cheese at people
310
00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:51,651
even if this game wasn't happening.
311
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:54,236
But you also got to wonder
about sneaky Henry Haber.
312
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:55,863
Or Jocelyn? Nah.
313
00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:58,824
Tammy? She's an evil mastermind.
314
00:10:58,949 --> 00:11:00,868
Well, she's evil at least. Sam?
315
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:03,329
Eh, nervous, clumsy, but...
316
00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:07,124
I've seen him throw a Frisbee.
Not terrible. So, maybe?
317
00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:09,042
What about Sushmita?
318
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:11,712
[Tina] She is kinda someone
no one would suspect.
319
00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:14,340
Brainiac on the worksheets,
master cheeser on the streets?
320
00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:17,218
And she does really
want to win this dumb game that has,
321
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:19,345
let's face it,
torn our friendship apart.
322
00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:21,347
I mean, I kinda
wouldn't mind winning
323
00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:22,723
just to shove it in Sushmita's face.
324
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:24,307
Like so much cheese.
325
00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:26,267
Maybe I can win with this thing
with a hiding strategy.
326
00:11:26,268 --> 00:11:27,728
I'm getting pretty good at it.
327
00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:29,897
I had some fun banter with
the lady at the vitamin store.
328
00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:31,440
- Oh, no. No more hiding.
- What?
329
00:11:31,565 --> 00:11:33,317
But hiding's great.
I like hiding.
330
00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:36,153
No, no. It's time.
Time to shift strategy.
331
00:11:36,278 --> 00:11:37,696
Look, when you're playing dodgeball,
332
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,323
it's smart to hide in the back
for a while.
333
00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:41,366
But no one wins dodgeball
by only hiding.
334
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:43,326
You got to knock people out.
There aren't many kids
335
00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:45,287
left in the game.
It's time to activate...
336
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:46,706
cheese mode.
337
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:48,708
- Ooh.
- Cheese mode? What's cheese mode?
338
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,167
It means
you're on the attack now.
339
00:11:50,292 --> 00:11:52,128
You seek out targets,
and when you find a target,
340
00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:53,629
you figure out
a way to put cheese on it.
341
00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:56,756
And you go search and destroy,
you go scary beast.
342
00:11:56,757 --> 00:11:58,634
I don't think I can go scary beast.
343
00:11:58,759 --> 00:12:00,177
What about scary yeast?
344
00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:01,512
I'm not a good cheese thrower.
345
00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:04,014
Tina, trust me,
you're thinking too much.
346
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:06,308
Take your brain
and push it towards your butt.
347
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:07,852
Okay, uh-huh...
348
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:09,687
I was gonna do that
after lunch.
349
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:12,230
You're gonna use the old
Circle Back Attack.
350
00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:15,651
You get someone to follow you,
then flip the script.
351
00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:17,236
- Ahhh!
- Ahhh!
352
00:12:17,361 --> 00:12:18,487
[grunts]
353
00:12:18,612 --> 00:12:20,573
- Damn it. Hold on.
- [grunts]
354
00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:21,991
- [both straining]
- Unpeel!
355
00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:23,491
Hold on, don't go anywhere.
356
00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:24,577
Ahhh!
357
00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:27,621
What? No!
358
00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:30,040
Yes. Circle Back Attack.
Scary beast.
359
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,042
Don't you dare
call me a scary beast.
360
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:33,627
No, I'm the scary beast.
361
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,880
You're just a cheeseball
who got cheesed in the face. So eat it.
362
00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:39,090
I mean, don't literally eat it,
it's on the ground.
363
00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:40,676
But you know what I mean.
364
00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:46,139
[Tina] I can't believe
I cheesed Tammy. In her face!
365
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:48,893
I mean, literally in her face,
'cause I hit her in her face.
366
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:50,478
Yeah, Tina, it's one person.
367
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,271
I like the spirit, but stay focused.
368
00:12:52,396 --> 00:12:53,522
We got a lot more work to do.
369
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:55,858
And you were so worried
about throwing your cheese.
370
00:12:55,983 --> 00:12:57,567
I'm proud of you, I-I think.
371
00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,528
- Thanks, guys.
- So, Tina, this is a list
372
00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:01,071
of everyone who's still in the game,
373
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:02,322
aka your targets.
374
00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:04,657
- You gonna cheese 'em?
- Hell yeah, I'm gonna cheese 'em!
375
00:13:04,658 --> 00:13:05,743
Could someone pass me a roll?
376
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:06,994
- [Tina grunts]
- Oh!
377
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:08,287
- Whoa.
- Hoo-boy!
378
00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:09,747
Sorry, sorry.
I'll take it down a notch.
379
00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:11,624
♪ Cheese mode ♪
380
00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:13,417
♪ Ch-Ch-Cheese mode ♪
381
00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:16,045
♪ Ch-Ch-Cheese mode
cheese mode, cheese mode ♪
382
00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:17,797
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Cheese mode ♪
383
00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:20,174
♪ Ch-ch-ch-ch chee-chee-chee
chee ch-ch-chee-cheese mode! ♪
384
00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:23,760
Okay, so the only people
left are you, Sushmita, Sam,
385
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:25,678
Henry, Chelsea and Will?
386
00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:28,181
The Big Cheese has got
to be Chelsea or Will, right?
387
00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:30,308
The girl who sharpens
her fingernails or the guy
388
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:32,060
who can kick a kickball
all the way to the swings?
389
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:34,479
- Psst.
- Oh, uh, I don't think you needed
390
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,357
to say "psst" in that situation.
391
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:37,733
- But okay.
- Open it.
392
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:41,736
[Henry] All remaining players meet
at the abandoned dog food factory
393
00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:45,406
today at 4:30,
and the Big Cheese will be revealed.
394
00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:46,826
P.S. It's not me. Henry.
395
00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:49,453
Huh. That sounds weird.
And like a trap.
396
00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:51,705
Oh, definitely weird and a trap.
397
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:54,249
But if you play this right,
you could cheese
398
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,669
everyone there and win
the whole stinking game today.
399
00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:59,255
- Or I get cheesed.
- Or you get cheesed.
400
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:01,173
I think that's exactly what
they said to each other
401
00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:03,634
before they stormed
the beaches of Normandy.
402
00:14:03,759 --> 00:14:07,137
She's probably at the abandoned
dog food factory by now.
403
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,765
Oh, boy, I hope she brought
enough cheese slices.
404
00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:12,768
I hope she brings some home.
I miss what cheese used to be.
405
00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:15,145
Guys, that's
the breakup couple, right?
406
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:16,479
[gasps] It is.
407
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,023
[Louise] It's definitely
the breakup couple.
408
00:14:18,148 --> 00:14:19,357
[Gene] It's a double-burger breakup.
409
00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:20,943
[Teddy] Are they coming back in?
410
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:23,362
Why would they come ba...
Hi, welcome to Bob's Burgers.
411
00:14:23,487 --> 00:14:25,114
Can we get some menus
over here for these guys?
412
00:14:29,743 --> 00:14:31,829
- Uh, hi?
- [Henry] Uh, welcome.
413
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:33,706
Go ahead and take cover
if you want.
414
00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:36,000
Uh, what do we, uh...
415
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:38,377
[Henry] Okay, uh, I just
realized it's really hard
416
00:14:38,502 --> 00:14:41,672
to start a secret meeting
if you can't see who's here.
417
00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:43,799
- So, is everybody here?
- Yeah.
418
00:14:43,924 --> 00:14:45,050
- Yes.
- Yep.
419
00:14:45,175 --> 00:14:46,969
- Present.
- Anyway, uh,
420
00:14:47,094 --> 00:14:48,846
this is everyone left
in the game.
421
00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:50,890
One of you is the Big Cheese,
422
00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:52,892
and I know who it is,
423
00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:55,436
and her name rhymes
with Rusrita.
424
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:56,687
Okay, that's a start.
425
00:14:56,812 --> 00:14:57,897
Wait, what?
426
00:14:58,022 --> 00:15:00,316
Guys, I'm not the Big Cheese.
427
00:15:00,482 --> 00:15:02,234
No, no, no,
it's definitely her.
428
00:15:02,359 --> 00:15:04,778
O-One time during
the three weeks and two days
429
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,990
that we dated, I saw her flick
an index card into the trash
430
00:15:08,115 --> 00:15:10,825
from halfway across the room
with perfect accuracy.
431
00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:13,579
Also, we played badminton once,
and she was a monster.
432
00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:15,164
Wait, so whether it's her or not,
433
00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:16,540
why did you bring us all here?
434
00:15:16,665 --> 00:15:17,749
What's the plan?
435
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,417
I have that same question as well.
436
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:21,629
Everyone's familiar with
the Battle of Red Cliffs
437
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,380
in second-century China, right?
438
00:15:23,505 --> 00:15:24,632
- [Chelsea] No.
- [Tina] Huh?
439
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,050
Well, surely, you're familiar
440
00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:27,593
with the game theory concept
441
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:30,387
-"targeted coalition"?
- [all] No.
442
00:15:30,512 --> 00:15:33,057
Look, the only way for any of us
mere mortals to have a chance
443
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,684
at winning is to take out
the Big Cheese first.
444
00:15:35,809 --> 00:15:37,602
Otherwise she takes us all out,
445
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,188
and our chances go down to zero.
446
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:41,065
[Sushmita] Again,
I'm not the Big Cheese!
447
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:43,943
People, Henry obviously got
everyone here
448
00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:46,862
in one place
so he could cheese everyone.
449
00:15:46,987 --> 00:15:50,074
Maybe 'cause, oh, I don't
know, he's the Big Cheese?
450
00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:52,368
Flattered.
The mental part, capable. Sure.
451
00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:53,702
The physical part, not so much.
452
00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:55,537
So, what we're saying is,
453
00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:58,207
now we're all here in this
abandoned dog food factory
454
00:15:58,332 --> 00:16:00,250
with the Big Cheese,
but we don't know who it is.
455
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:01,627
It's Sushmita!
456
00:16:01,752 --> 00:16:05,589
- It's Henry!
- Argh! I got cheesed.
457
00:16:05,714 --> 00:16:07,299
[Tina] Oh, man.
Hey, you didn't by any chance
458
00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:09,092
happen to see who threw it, did you?
Probably not.
459
00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:10,636
You would have mentioned it,
I'm guessing,
460
00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:11,804
so, yeah, forget it.
461
00:16:16,183 --> 00:16:17,977
[Tina] So, Will,
about who cheesed you,
462
00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:19,895
anything?
Anything you saw at all?
463
00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:21,563
Direction it came from?
Sounds? Grunts?
464
00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:23,565
No. It happened so fast.
465
00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:26,402
I-I didn't see anything,
I didn't even hear anything.
466
00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:28,821
Oh, just curious,
were you the Big Cheese?
467
00:16:28,946 --> 00:16:30,238
Thanks for the compliment,
but no,
468
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:33,033
- I'm not the Big Cheese.
- [person panting]
469
00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:34,994
[Chelsea] Who's panting?
'Cause it's grossing me out.
470
00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:36,620
Sorry, yeah, that's me.
This is, uh...
471
00:16:36,745 --> 00:16:38,288
This is all... I'm anxious,
472
00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:39,956
so it's giving me, like,
a tiny panic attack,
473
00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:41,041
but it's really no big deal.
474
00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:43,168
Uh, please carry on.
It is all gravy, baby.
475
00:16:43,293 --> 00:16:44,586
Sorry I said that.
476
00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:47,506
You know, it's very possible
that it's Chelsea.
477
00:16:47,631 --> 00:16:50,259
She gets in trouble a lot.
She's a risk-taker.
478
00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:52,636
A thrill-seeker. She pierced
her nose with a thumbtack.
479
00:16:52,761 --> 00:16:55,973
Yeah, that has nothing to do
with throwing cheese from hidden places.
480
00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:57,349
Just saying, that logic is flawed.
481
00:16:57,474 --> 00:17:00,060
And it wasn't a thumbtack.
It was a paper clip.
482
00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:01,937
- [Henry] Ow.
- What about Tina?
483
00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:05,315
Maybe she cheesed her whole team
to throw us all off.
484
00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:07,317
I kinda love that.
I wish I did that.
485
00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:09,695
Uh, I'm 99% sure
I'm not the Big Cheese.
486
00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:11,030
So, yeah.
487
00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:16,201
Oops, I dropped my gum.
Sushmita, you like gum.
488
00:17:16,326 --> 00:17:18,662
You-you can go ahead
and take that if you want.
489
00:17:18,787 --> 00:17:23,333
- It's got extra flavor crystals.
- I'm good, thank you.
490
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:25,627
Aah! Aw, dang it, I'm out!
491
00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:28,213
Frig. You got me.
492
00:17:28,338 --> 00:17:30,174
[Sam] Wow. Nice shot.
493
00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:33,427
[Chelsea] Okay, I just want
to tell everyone, I was the Big Cheese.
494
00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:35,971
- [Tina] Really?
- [Chelsea] No. Maybe.
495
00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:37,514
- No, not me.
- Was it you, Henry?
496
00:17:37,639 --> 00:17:39,058
No. Like I said in my note.
497
00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:42,394
You know, I ran
so many simulations of the way
498
00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:45,564
this would go down, and none
of them were this unsatisfactory.
499
00:17:45,689 --> 00:17:46,815
Gum with flavor crystals?
500
00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:48,817
- Yeah, I'll take that.
- Oh...
501
00:17:48,942 --> 00:17:51,361
[Tina] I would also like gum,
eventually. Just saying.
502
00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:53,864
Nothing. I got nothing.
503
00:17:53,989 --> 00:17:55,282
I think
they're speaking French.
504
00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:57,159
Or very quiet English.
505
00:17:57,284 --> 00:17:58,284
It can't be done.
506
00:17:58,285 --> 00:17:59,620
- Impossible.
- They're good.
507
00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:01,121
They're very good.
508
00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:03,499
I guess we should
give them their privacy.
509
00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:04,875
Don't you say that.
510
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,168
Don't even think it.
I'm going in.
511
00:18:06,293 --> 00:18:07,294
- No, no, no.
- No, don't do it.
512
00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:09,046
I can do this.
I'm ready.
513
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:13,675
They didn't stop talking.
That's good.
514
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:15,469
She's found
her maximum distance.
515
00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:17,679
She's got the dead eyes,
she's got 'em.
516
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:19,139
And a dead leg somehow?
517
00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:21,350
- [Tina] Sam?
- [Sam] Yeah?
518
00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:23,268
- [Tina] Sushmita?
- [Sushmita] Yeah?
519
00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:24,937
Hi, um,
520
00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:26,313
I guess we're the last ones left?
521
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:28,273
- I guess.
- Geez, Tina.
522
00:18:28,398 --> 00:18:29,608
I would have teamed up with you
523
00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:31,610
if I'd known you were gonna
make it this far.
524
00:18:31,735 --> 00:18:33,737
Look at you.
You're pretty good at this.
525
00:18:33,862 --> 00:18:35,322
Thanks.
I kinda surprised myself.
526
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:37,032
I guess I didn't think
I was gonna be any good
527
00:18:37,157 --> 00:18:39,409
and then I think
that kind of made me not good?
528
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,995
Also, just to say it,
you don't have to be good
529
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,163
at something to have fun.
530
00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:45,499
Yeah, no, I see that.
I-I like it now.
531
00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:48,418
But I still have to cheese you to win,
532
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,129
and I'm gonna, right now.
533
00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:52,172
Unless I cheese you first.
534
00:18:57,469 --> 00:18:58,637
[grunts]
535
00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:00,472
Close, but no cheddar.
536
00:19:00,597 --> 00:19:02,141
Okay, have a little less fun.
537
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:08,772
- [grunts]
- Oof. Dang it.
538
00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:10,941
Good throw, Tina.
Good throw.
539
00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:12,860
- Thanks, Sushmita.
- Tina, are you the Big Cheese?
540
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,945
- No.
- Well, I'm not.
541
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,363
And if you're not, then...
542
00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:18,115
Uh, yup. Yeah.
The-the... You got it.
543
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:19,783
It's me. Hi. Hi.
544
00:19:19,908 --> 00:19:22,119
[Tina] Sam? But-but you seemed
so nervous about everything.
545
00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:24,454
Oh, yeah, I was.
Uh, still am.
546
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:26,206
But I'm also,
you know, really good at this.
547
00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:28,250
So, you can be nervous
and stealthy, it turns out.
548
00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:29,877
It helps, actually. Sometimes.
549
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,628
Oh, yeah. Oh, my God, I...
550
00:19:31,753 --> 00:19:34,631
I can't possibly beat you.
[groaning]
551
00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:36,842
Damn it, Tina,
what did we just talk about?
552
00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:38,510
Can't help it.
Confidence gone.
553
00:19:38,635 --> 00:19:41,513
Fun gone. Scared mode.
[groaning]
554
00:19:41,638 --> 00:19:43,307
I gotta hide, gotta hide, gotta hide.
555
00:19:43,432 --> 00:19:44,933
- [gasping]
- Whoa.
556
00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:54,276
[grunts] Huh?
557
00:19:56,778 --> 00:19:57,863
[grunts]
558
00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,573
- Whoo! You did it, Tina.
- Wow.
559
00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:01,074
Oh, the hat on the thing.
560
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,868
Yeah. I wanted you to think
I was hiding,
561
00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:04,161
but I was actually hunting.
562
00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:05,829
I totally thought you were hiding.
563
00:20:05,954 --> 00:20:07,331
Well played, Tina.
Well played.
564
00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:08,999
Well, if I was
gonna lose to someone,
565
00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:10,584
- I'm glad it was you.
- Thanks.
566
00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:11,710
And if I had to win,
567
00:20:11,835 --> 00:20:13,879
I'm glad it was me that won.
568
00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:16,131
[Linda] And it just so happens,
569
00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:18,091
Julie was the reason they broke up.
570
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,177
But Julie is the guy's sister.
571
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:23,180
Turns out, she got into med school
and she's being real braggy about it.
572
00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:24,848
Anyway, they're
getting back together.
573
00:20:24,973 --> 00:20:26,557
And your mother got
all of this without giving
574
00:20:26,558 --> 00:20:28,685
herself away
by loudly making noises.
575
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:30,103
It-it was a triumph.
576
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:31,730
You should have seen her
not look.
577
00:20:31,855 --> 00:20:33,398
Great job, Mom. Louise,
578
00:20:33,523 --> 00:20:35,567
you're just kinda staring
at the side of my head.
579
00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:37,361
What can I say? I'm starstruck.
580
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:39,404
I mean, you won the Cheese Royale.
581
00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:41,906
You did, we did.
I did. Through you.
582
00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:43,324
So, what else do you think
you're bad at?
583
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:44,785
Do you think you're bad
at robbing banks?
584
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:46,119
- Probably.
- I'll get on it.
585
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,411
- [Bob and Linda] No.
- [Louise] Yes.
586
00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:48,956
- [Bob] No.
- [Louise] Go scary beast on them.
587
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,373
- [Tina] Ahhh!
- [Bob and Linda gasp]
588
00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:51,958
[Tina] Sorry, sorry.
Wow, you totally thought
589
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:53,126
I was gonna throw food at you.
590
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:54,503
- [Bob] We did. Ahhh!
- [Linda] Ahhh!
591
00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:55,962
[Tina] I'm gonna do this every dinner.
592
00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:57,839
♪ I came to cheese ♪
593
00:20:57,965 --> 00:20:59,633
♪ Bring ya to your knees ♪
594
00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:03,178
♪ Have you beggin' please
Oh, no, oh, geez ♪
595
00:21:03,303 --> 00:21:06,765
♪ When you feel unease
smell that stinky breeze ♪
596
00:21:06,890 --> 00:21:10,519
♪ You better believe
you're gonna taste my cheese ♪
597
00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:13,772
♪ I'm not a mirage
My slices sabotage ♪
598
00:21:13,897 --> 00:21:17,734
♪ Prepare to be barraged
with my fromage ♪
599
00:21:17,859 --> 00:21:19,528
♪ You better watch out
You better beware ♪
600
00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:21,195
♪ You're gonna feel my dairy
in your derriere ♪
601
00:21:21,196 --> 00:21:24,700
♪ 'Cause I came to cheese
Bring ya to your knees ♪
602
00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:25,909
♪ Have you beggin' please ♪
603
00:21:26,034 --> 00:21:28,829
{\an8}♪ Oh, no, oh, geez ♪