1
00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:04,546
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:23,231
{\an8}So this storm front could change course
and make landfall this weekend.
3
00:00:23,231 --> 00:00:24,691
{\an8}We're in wait-and-see mode.
4
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:27,819
{\an8}Either way, don't get mad at me
about it. Just doing my best.
5
00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:30,989
{\an8}Aw. Scott Baggs seems
really vulnerable right now. That's hot.
6
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:33,158
{\an8}- Hey, Mr. Fisch.
- Hello, burger lady.
7
00:00:33,158 --> 00:00:34,784
{\an8}- Tiny people.
- KIDS: Hello.
8
00:00:34,784 --> 00:00:36,119
{\an8}Bob. How are you, Bob?
9
00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:39,080
{\an8}- Uh... Good.
- Good, good, good.
10
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:43,543
{\an8}Uh, is this about the rent? Sorry.
Linda put a smiley face on the check.
11
00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:45,754
{\an8}I thought it was too much.
Was it too much?
12
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:47,881
{\an8}- Is that why you're here?
- No.
13
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:49,758
{\an8}- I enjoyed it.
- I knew it.
14
00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:53,386
{\an8}What are you doing this weekend, Bob?
Nothing fun, interesting or cool, right?
15
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:54,763
{\an8}Probably not. Why?
16
00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:58,850
{\an8}Well, I need a private chef for
private cooking at a private location.
17
00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:01,102
{\an8}And yes, you will need to sign this NDA.
18
00:01:01,102 --> 00:01:03,021
{\an8}NDA? No ding-a-lings allowed?
19
00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:05,523
{\an8}Wait. Are you asking me
to cater an event or something?
20
00:01:05,523 --> 00:01:06,983
{\an8}Yes, a camping event.
21
00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:09,486
{\an8}- Oh, camping.
- It's actually more like fancy camping.
22
00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:10,612
{\an8}Flancing, I call it.
23
00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:14,532
{\an8}With, let's just say,
a secret club of powerful members.
24
00:01:14,824 --> 00:01:17,994
{\an8}A brotherhood, really.
The blood oath was fun, but messy.
25
00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:20,497
Mr. Fischoeder,
are you in the Illuminati?
26
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:22,290
You can tell us. We're on the waitlist.
27
00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:25,960
(CHUCKLES) No. Those guys wish
they were in the Babylon League.
28
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:30,298
{\an8}- The Babalong League?
- Babylon, like the ancient, uh, thing.
29
00:01:30,298 --> 00:01:32,842
{\an8}- Oh.
- Yes, a bunch of powerful men
30
00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:34,302
{\an8}letting our hair down
31
00:01:34,302 --> 00:01:38,181
{\an8}and picking the next president over
s'mores and cocktails and naughty jokes.
32
00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:41,017
{\an8}None of that makes me
want to take this catering gig. Sorry.
33
00:01:41,017 --> 00:01:42,560
{\an8}Bob, I need you.
34
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:46,564
{\an8}I sort of, kind of forgot that we voted
last year to each bring our own chefs
35
00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:49,818
{\an8}from now on since everyone's
got their "dietary restrictions,"
36
00:01:49,818 --> 00:01:52,237
{\an8}and the other members
picked the best chefs in town,
37
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:53,446
{\an8}so now I'm asking you.
38
00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:54,948
- Thank you?
- Name your price.
39
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,241
- A billion dollars.
- No.
40
00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:57,534
- A million dollars.
- No.
41
00:01:57,534 --> 00:01:59,244
- A billion.
- She just said that.
42
00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:02,705
- How about $973?
- That's very specific.
43
00:02:02,705 --> 00:02:05,041
It's the price for
a new condenser for the walk-in,
44
00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:06,459
which apparently we need.
45
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:09,420
The one we have is ready to go
to that walk-in in the sky.
46
00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:12,715
Right. I guess ignoring
that horrible sound isn't gonna fix it.
47
00:02:12,715 --> 00:02:14,509
- Boring, but sold.
- Really?
48
00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:18,221
- So, Bob, do we have a deal?
- (SIGHS) Okay, I guess I'll do it.
49
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:21,558
Yay! Wait, there might be a storm.
Aren't you worried about the weather?
50
00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:24,894
You don't really need to worry about
weather when you know the people I know.
51
00:02:24,894 --> 00:02:26,938
- They take care of all that.
- Wait. What?
52
00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:29,566
Oh, and, Bob, whip up a custom cocktail.
53
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:31,526
It's kind of part of the whole thing.
54
00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:34,946
Think refreshing yet sour.
Manly, yet whimsical.
55
00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:38,241
- A cocktail. Uh, okay.
- And gin. Lots of gin.
56
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:41,536
- Call it something clever.
- The things we'll do for a condenser.
57
00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:42,871
- I mean, you'll do.
- Yep.
58
00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:46,457
Okay, come aboard.
Wait, wait, wait. Put this on.
59
00:02:46,457 --> 00:02:48,960
- BOB: All right.
- Okay. Now come aboard.
60
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,713
BOB: But I have a blindfold on.
I can't see.
61
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:54,674
Should've thought of that
before you put the blindfold on.
62
00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:57,302
- Okay, I'll try. Ow!
- I don't know why you stepped there.
63
00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:58,970
- Ow!
- You're bad at this.
64
00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:01,347
- No peeking.
- I'm not.
65
00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:03,433
- What? Speed up? Okay.
- (SCREAMS)
66
00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:04,767
No peeking.
67
00:03:05,476 --> 00:03:09,480
Can I take the blindfold off?
I'd love to be able to see things again.
68
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:10,732
Uh, fine.
69
00:03:11,941 --> 00:03:13,651
Oh, my God. We're on a cliff.
70
00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:16,821
- Mr. Fischoeder, what if I fell?
- It would've been embarrassing for me.
71
00:03:16,821 --> 00:03:19,365
I'd be the idiot whose chef
fell off the cliff.
72
00:03:19,782 --> 00:03:23,828
So, my custom cocktail
is going in my mouth soon?
73
00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:26,080
Yeah. It was actually fun
to come up with.
74
00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:29,751
I hope you like it. It's gin and mint
and a dash of pickle juice.
75
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:33,171
I call it "The League
of Ex-brine-inary Gentlemint."
76
00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:35,882
Mmm. We should call it
"the Ring-a-Ding."
77
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,133
Hmm. Fine.
78
00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:40,053
I haven't had any reception
since we got to the island.
79
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,972
- Is there a place where...
- There's no reception on the island.
80
00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:44,390
We paid a lot of money for that.
81
00:03:44,515 --> 00:03:46,559
You can make your TikToks
when you get home, Bob.
82
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:47,936
- That's not what...
- Come.
83
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:50,188
- Bring the Ring-a-Ding.
- Yeah, yeah, sure.
84
00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:53,107
Sticky Nicky McArthur, how's the family?
85
00:03:53,107 --> 00:03:54,525
Which one? (CHUCKLES)
86
00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:57,237
Hubert "The Hammer" Hammerschmidt.
How were the hearings?
87
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,572
Some people are going to prison. Not me.
88
00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:02,825
- Brother Calvin.
- Downtown Randolph Brackenbrown.
89
00:04:02,825 --> 00:04:04,202
- There he is.
- Here I am.
90
00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:07,288
MR. FISCHOEDER: Soggie Auggie
Sharfenheimer. The gang's all here.
91
00:04:07,288 --> 00:04:08,998
Calvin, no chefs at the Sacred Circle.
92
00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:10,959
They're supposed to stay at the tents.
93
00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:12,961
Can I keep him?
The liquor pitcher is sweaty.
94
00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:14,254
I don't want to hold it.
95
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:17,632
Let's have a taste.
The cocktail will decide his fate.
96
00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:19,550
Oh, uh, okay.
97
00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:24,055
- Mmm. Exquisite. He can stay.
- Why does your chef look so familiar?
98
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:26,557
Was he working the omelet station
at your last sex party?
99
00:04:26,557 --> 00:04:28,434
- What?
- No. Bob's a burger man.
100
00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:31,396
Well, those were good omelets
and a hell of a sex party.
101
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:32,939
Just really well organized.
102
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:35,400
I went a bit more upscale
with my private chef.
103
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,694
I brought Sergio from Sergio.
104
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:38,903
- Heard of it.
- Me too.
105
00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:40,989
He's making llama
because I only eat llama now.
106
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,866
- Oh, enough about the llama.
- More llama drama?
107
00:04:43,866 --> 00:04:47,203
Mr. I Brought a Live Llama
can't seem to talk about anything else.
108
00:04:47,203 --> 00:04:49,247
- You're gonna slaughter it here?
- No.
109
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:52,792
For every one I eat, I adopt a live one.
Some people don't get it.
110
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:55,128
- I'm one of those people.
- Sergio gets it.
111
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,296
What do you say, fellas?
112
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,381
Shall we tell the chefs
to start cooking?
113
00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:01,301
We'll have our feast,
then let out our inner beast.
114
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:04,095
Feast and beast. I love that they rhyme.
115
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:06,306
(WIND BLOWING)
116
00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:08,266
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
117
00:05:08,558 --> 00:05:11,686
Not bad, burger-meister.
I saw Randolph eyeing my dinner.
118
00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:13,855
- He barely touched his llama.
- Oh, thanks.
119
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:15,148
What are you doing? Cleaning?
120
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,774
- (SCOFFS) Square.
- Yep.
121
00:05:16,774 --> 00:05:18,609
I just took a bunch of drugs, Bob.
A bunch.
122
00:05:18,609 --> 00:05:21,904
All mixed together in a cast-iron
cauldron heated over the fire.
123
00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:23,489
That's how people do drugs.
124
00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:26,367
That seems to make sense
for what this is.
125
00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:29,912
- Can you do my face paint?
- Uh, sure. What's this for?
126
00:05:29,912 --> 00:05:33,958
Tradition. Ritual. Make me look like
Simon Le Bon in Hungry Like the Wolf.
127
00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:38,212
I'm just gonna do a stripe.
You're moving, so... That looks good.
128
00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:41,174
Feeling strong. Very strong.
129
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,762
Whoa Speaking of strong...
Geez. This is...
130
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:48,139
It's... I think it's about to rain.
131
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:51,642
- Uh, do you feel drops?
- It's starting, Bob. It's starting.
132
00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,686
So, this is a storm, I think.
133
00:05:53,686 --> 00:05:55,646
The one you said wasn't gonna happen.
134
00:05:55,646 --> 00:05:59,650
- (MUSIC THUMPING IN DISTANCE)
- (LAUGHS) I love electronic dance music.
135
00:05:59,650 --> 00:06:00,818
Great.
136
00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:03,071
LINDA: Still nothing from your father.
137
00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:05,531
How's he supposed to grill burgers
in a storm like this?
138
00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:08,493
When you don't listen to Scotty Baggs,
you end up with soggy buns.
139
00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:10,370
He's on a camping weekend
with rich people.
140
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,206
I assume there are butlers
that hold umbrellas over all the buns.
141
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,124
Speaking of buns, why are we not eating
142
00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:16,918
post-dinner, pre-bedtime snacks
right now?
143
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:19,128
My hand keeps doing this
but there's nothing in it.
144
00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:20,963
- I'll get something.
- I'll go with you.
145
00:06:20,963 --> 00:06:24,884
- So it's not just crackers. No offense.
- What? We had carrots that one time.
146
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:28,096
Dad left a lot of bar things.
It's like we live in a nightclub.
147
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,640
Yeah, your dad was
Sir Mixologist last night.
148
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,392
It was quite the cocktail party.
149
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:35,812
If you like a cocktail party where it's
just you and a person making drinks.
150
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:39,482
Are those a real thing? I thought they
were just in movies and TV shows.
151
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:42,693
{\an8}Oh, yeah, someone invites you
to their house, they made snacks,
152
00:06:42,693 --> 00:06:43,861
{\an8}they made a playlist,
153
00:06:43,861 --> 00:06:45,822
{\an8}and you have to pretend
you like the music.
154
00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:47,323
You'll go when you're older.
155
00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:50,535
It's how adults socialize till they
have kids. Then you don't do anything.
156
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:52,829
I don't understand.
Why is it called a cocktail party?
157
00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,872
Why isn't it a hanging out
and talking party?
158
00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:58,167
Is that what you guys are doing?
'Cause the snacks are taking a while.
159
00:06:58,167 --> 00:07:01,254
Snacks are coming. They're coming.
They call them cocktail parties
160
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,464
because some grownups
have a drink to loosen up.
161
00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:05,633
Don't have too many,
you don't get invited back.
162
00:07:05,633 --> 00:07:08,302
Don't monopolize the conversation,
don't stay too late,
163
00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:09,512
don't get there too early.
164
00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:12,014
Should I be writing this down?
You're freaking me out.
165
00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:14,642
Don't wear brown and black.
Never look into someone's eyes.
166
00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:17,603
- Bring your own fork and briefcase.
- Of course. Everyone knows that.
167
00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:20,064
- Leave one of your shoes as a gift.
- But hide it.
168
00:07:20,064 --> 00:07:22,483
I don't get it.
How does everyone know all this stuff?
169
00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:25,528
No, no, no. Don't listen to them.
They're messing with you.
170
00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:27,488
I can show you everything
you need to know.
171
00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:28,948
You wanna have a mocktail party?
172
00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:30,867
Meet me in the living room
in 10 minutes.
173
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:33,703
- Wear something nice.
- How much cleavage is too much cleavage?
174
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:34,871
- Your call.
- Ooh.
175
00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:38,499
This'll probably be just as fancy
as the party your dad's at right now.
176
00:07:38,499 --> 00:07:39,834
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
177
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,003
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
178
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:44,630
Huh?
179
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,424
What?
180
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:50,887
(EDM MUSIC PLAYING)
181
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,763
Mr. Fischoeder, people are leaving.
182
00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:55,016
Boats are leaving. They took the llama.
183
00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:58,227
- And they left.
- Bob, you're saying too many words.
184
00:07:58,227 --> 00:08:00,855
Close this part. Shake that part.
185
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:03,149
Look at Hubert.
He's all hips. And drugs.
186
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:06,402
Mr. Fischoeder, I'm worried
that the storm is gonna get worse.
187
00:08:06,402 --> 00:08:10,323
And we're on an island and
our phones don't work, and that's bad.
188
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,492
No. That's good. That's why we're here.
189
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,619
You just don't have
enough face paint on.
190
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:17,121
It keeps you dry.
Haven't you noticed I'm completely dry?
191
00:08:17,121 --> 00:08:19,373
Have you asked yourself
how that's possible?
192
00:08:19,373 --> 00:08:21,667
- Uh-oh.
- (HOWLS)
193
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:22,752
(ALL HOWLING)
194
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:26,672
You are all very stoned.
195
00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:29,217
Okay, I'm gonna go
pack everything onto your boat,
196
00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:30,718
and then we should go,
197
00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:32,887
and everyone else should go soon too.
198
00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:37,642
I will be right back to get you
and whoever wants to live tonight. Okay?
199
00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:41,812
Oh, boy. Tent not looking good.
200
00:08:43,981 --> 00:08:46,526
(PANTS) And the boats are sinking.
201
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,946
Mr. Fischoeder? Hello?
202
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:52,740
Mr. Fischoeder?
203
00:08:55,284 --> 00:08:57,495
Is that blood? Oh, my God.
204
00:08:57,495 --> 00:08:58,829
- Bob!
- Huh?
205
00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:01,207
- Turn off your light.
- What? Why?
206
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:05,211
Shh! He's hunting us.
He took a bite out of Randolph's arm.
207
00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:08,589
- Who took a bite?
- Hubert. He's gone completely wild.
208
00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:11,842
He's turned into some sort of animal
with Eddie Bauer pants on.
209
00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:14,303
Okay. Well, I have to tell you
about your boat.
210
00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:16,138
(GROWLING)
211
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:17,640
- (WHIMPERS)
- Shh!
212
00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:22,645
(SCREECHING)
213
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:29,819
(GROWLING)
214
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:32,446
This is awful. This is so, so awful.
215
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:35,992
We're trapped on this island with that?
Why did I say yes to this?
216
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:38,369
- Ah. This is gonna get infected.
- Shush!
217
00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:40,788
Calvin, you don't have
any antibiotics, do you?
218
00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:44,041
No. Seems like kind of a nerdy thing
to pack on a boys' weekend.
219
00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:47,044
(GROANS) It hurts.
What's the point of taking drugs
220
00:09:47,044 --> 00:09:49,589
if you feel pain
when someone bites your shoulder?
221
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,507
Should we go to the boats?
This has been fun.
222
00:09:51,507 --> 00:09:53,676
Bob, you were saying
something about packing up?
223
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:55,678
There's no boats, Mr. Fischoeder.
224
00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:58,806
That's what I was trying to tell you.
They're all gone or smashed.
225
00:09:58,806 --> 00:10:01,767
- What? Why didn't you tell me?
- I did. You were on drugs.
226
00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:03,477
Don't blame the drugs.
227
00:10:03,894 --> 00:10:06,314
- What boats are gone? Who left?
- A lot of people.
228
00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:08,190
The private chefs are all gone, I think.
229
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:11,652
Other people, they saw the storm
and they left 'cause they're smart.
230
00:10:11,652 --> 00:10:13,446
- Who's this guy?
- He's sober.
231
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,615
- Oh!
- Shush!
232
00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:17,825
- (GROWLS)
- Ahhh! Run!
233
00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:22,163
You're not an animal, Hubert.
You're an Episcopalian.
234
00:10:29,795 --> 00:10:32,048
You know what we need?
Couple of Ring-a-Dings.
235
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:36,260
Looking nice.
Looking very sophisticated.
236
00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:38,638
Gene, liking the shorts
with Dad's jacket.
237
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,389
Mmm-hmm. Business-dad-ual.
238
00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:42,516
And I invented a new way to tie a tie.
239
00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:44,268
It makes the old way look stupid.
240
00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:47,730
All right. Now that we have some drinks
in hand, let's do some roleplay.
241
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,565
Tina, stand there. You're the host.
242
00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:51,233
- I'm the host?
- Just for this.
243
00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:54,987
Okay, I'm the first guest to arrive.
You ready? Ding-dong.
244
00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:57,948
- Hello.
- Hi, honey. I'm 30 minutes early.
245
00:10:57,948 --> 00:11:00,242
Here's a bottle of wine
someone gave me as a gift.
246
00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:02,536
Is that what you'll wear?
Gonna put on music?
247
00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:04,372
- Can I help out with snacks?
- What?
248
00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:06,540
No? Okay.
Can I see what you have in the fridge?
249
00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:08,084
- I haven't had dinner.
- Wait.
250
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:11,087
I blocked your neighbor's driveway.
He's cool, right? And scene.
251
00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:14,090
Do's and don'ts. Call them out.
What did I do right? Wrong?
252
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:17,093
- You showed up early. That's nice.
- No, no, no.
253
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:20,471
Showing up 30 minutes early
is worse than showing up an hour late.
254
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:22,598
- Ahhh!
- Take the time they tell you to arrive,
255
00:11:22,598 --> 00:11:25,184
add 30 minutes and you're good.
What else? Call them out.
256
00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:26,644
Don't be like how you were?
257
00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:28,270
More specific. What did I do wrong?
258
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:30,272
- Everything after hello?
- Correct.
259
00:11:30,272 --> 00:11:33,317
Let's do another one.
Louise, stand here. We're both guests.
260
00:11:33,317 --> 00:11:36,070
You're waiting for the bathroom.
I come up behind you.
261
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:39,532
Hi. I'm drunk.
Will you hold up my hair while I puke?
262
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,826
- And scene.
- She seems fun.
263
00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:46,205
Okay, let's stop for a minute.
I can't see where we're going.
264
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:49,583
But I don't wanna use the lamp
because the bitey guy might see us.
265
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:51,669
The bitey guy has a name, Bob.
266
00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:53,462
God, I wish we had our guns.
267
00:11:53,462 --> 00:11:55,256
Not to kill him,
just to shoot him a bit.
268
00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:57,091
Yeah. Why don't you have your guns?
269
00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:59,468
I thought that was part
of your group dynamic.
270
00:11:59,468 --> 00:12:00,761
No guns on the island.
271
00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:02,930
Our insurance covers us
for drugs or guns.
272
00:12:02,930 --> 00:12:04,682
- But not both.
- Can we stay here?
273
00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:06,600
Are we hidden? I think we're hidden.
274
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:07,727
- AUGGIE: Found you.
- Ah!
275
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,187
Yeah. We could hear
your voices from over there.
276
00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:13,149
- You two get bit at all? Still just me?
- Stop asking that.
277
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:14,775
- Mosquitos love me too.
- (RUSTLING)
278
00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:16,360
- What was that?
- Did you fart?
279
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,988
No. That was a twig snapping.
Farts don't sound like that.
280
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:20,281
Some do.
281
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,200
(ALL SCREAM)
282
00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:24,702
- That hurts.
- Told you.
283
00:12:24,952 --> 00:12:27,788
- Stop biting us, Hubert.
- And put some clothes on.
284
00:12:27,788 --> 00:12:29,457
(HUBERT HOWLS)
285
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:33,127
All right.
I think we have to go on offense.
286
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:35,171
If we keep running,
he's gonna keep jumping
287
00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:36,672
out of the bushes and biting us.
288
00:12:36,672 --> 00:12:38,716
- Us? Have you been bitten?
- Oh, hush.
289
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:42,470
You were pretty pissy about us talking
about our bites a moment ago.
290
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:44,805
Listen to Bob.
I'm nominating him for captain.
291
00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:46,891
- What?
- He's the least drugged-up of all of us.
292
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,309
- Who's Bob?
- Me.
293
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:51,020
But I don't wanna be captain.
I just wanna live.
294
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:53,814
Listen. This Hubert guy,
can we catch him somehow?
295
00:12:53,814 --> 00:12:56,358
Trap him? If we can tie him up
till the drugs wear off,
296
00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:58,068
all we have to deal with is the storm.
297
00:12:58,068 --> 00:13:01,071
That gives a slightly better chance
of surviving the night.
298
00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:04,825
- Trapping Hubert. Hmm. Not bad.
- True. Good idea, Captain.
299
00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:06,577
To set a trap, we need bait.
300
00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:08,579
- ALL: Not it.
- Wait. What?
301
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,540
No, no, no, no. Bad plan. Bad plan.
302
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:14,752
Just a little more beef on the eyebrows
to make him seem extra tasty
303
00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:15,836
and I think we're done.
304
00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:18,964
AUGGIE: I'm giving him a beef moustache
on top of his real moustache.
305
00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:21,509
Clever. And the trap is baited.
306
00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:24,887
No. Your captain says no.
No human bait. No human bait.
307
00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:27,264
Sorry, Bob.
The captain doesn't have voting rights.
308
00:13:27,264 --> 00:13:30,184
- I'll never forget you, Captain.
- Oh, my God.
309
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:35,898
Guys, please untie me.
I don't like this.
310
00:13:36,023 --> 00:13:38,651
Don't worry, Bob.
We're not gonna let Hubert eat you.
311
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:39,902
I mean, not all of you.
312
00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:42,613
Just nibble long enough
so that we can grab him and tie him up.
313
00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:44,114
Ten to 15 bites max.
314
00:13:44,114 --> 00:13:46,534
It's just the "not it" thing.
I wasn't ready.
315
00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:49,161
- Should we count to three? Do-over?
- One, two, three...
316
00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:50,412
- ALL: Not it.
- Damn it.
317
00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:54,083
Okay. Let's review. How many drinks
do you have at a cocktail party?
318
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:56,126
- Depends on your body weight.
- And zodiac sign.
319
00:13:56,126 --> 00:13:57,920
- Your age plus one.
- No, no, no.
320
00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,965
Two and a half. First one
loosens you up. Second one, nurse it.
321
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:03,592
Last one, put it down.
Don't finish it. You don't need it.
322
00:14:03,592 --> 00:14:04,969
But don't put it on the stereo
323
00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:06,804
or any furniture
where it'll leave a ring.
324
00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:08,514
Make a show of looking for a coaster.
325
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,224
- What's a coaster?
- We don't have any.
326
00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:12,726
Some people do.
Some people care about their furniture.
327
00:14:12,726 --> 00:14:15,437
- But where do I put this?
- I'm pouring mine in the plant.
328
00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:17,314
No. Plants don't like sweet drinks.
329
00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:19,149
- Just hard liquor?
- Tina, hold on to it.
330
00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:21,360
Pretend it's your second.
Let me think. What's next?
331
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,737
Ooh, I'm gonna throw my keys
into the key bowl.
332
00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:26,574
It's something grown-ups do
when they wanna meet Sigourney Weaver.
333
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,618
I'm loosening my tie.
Dad's missing a wild night.
334
00:14:29,618 --> 00:14:32,872
(GRUNTS) How did you tie this so well?
335
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:36,250
- You're all so stoned.
- I had a friendship bracelet period.
336
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:37,626
Calvin doesn't wear his.
337
00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:39,753
It just doesn't really go
with anything I own.
338
00:14:39,753 --> 00:14:41,714
- (HUBERT HOWLING)
- Shh! Quiet.
339
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,215
He sounds hungrier.
340
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:45,259
Guys, guys. Let's do this differently.
341
00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:48,846
- Maybe we dig a hole, put a tarp across?
- But who wants to dig a hole?
342
00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:50,764
BOB: I should never have come here.
343
00:14:50,764 --> 00:14:53,851
- I just needed a new condenser.
- Hmm.
344
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:58,689
I'm gonna go put some more meat on him.
I think we missed a few spots.
345
00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:01,191
Give him a beard to go
with the moustache.
346
00:15:01,191 --> 00:15:04,069
- Here I am, putting meat on you.
- What are you doing?
347
00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:05,821
Taking your wallet in case he kills you.
348
00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:07,990
- What?
- Kidding. I'm untying you.
349
00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:10,326
And some meat there.
And some more meat here.
350
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,161
Thank you. But why?
351
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,371
I don't know.
Guess my buzz is wearing off.
352
00:15:14,371 --> 00:15:16,707
And someone needs
to cook breakfast in the morning.
353
00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:18,125
(HUBERT HOWLING)
354
00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:20,961
- Now Hubert sounds horny.
- Go, go. Run.
355
00:15:20,961 --> 00:15:24,757
- Argh! You didn't untie my feet.
- I thought it would be funny.
356
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,301
The bait's getting away!
The bait's getting away!
357
00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:30,095
- Calvin.
- Sorry, fellas. He's my chef.
358
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:33,265
- Food before dudes.
- Let's get them. We'll use both as bait.
359
00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:36,810
Yes. Do you hear that, Calvin?
You just joined the bait club.
360
00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:38,020
Oh, that's good.
361
00:15:39,563 --> 00:15:42,733
(PANTING) Oh, boy.
They seemed really ticked off.
362
00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:44,902
I hope they don't
vote me out of the club.
363
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:47,655
The kicking-out ceremony is brutal.
So much singing.
364
00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:51,158
Sorry. But also, this club
doesn't seem great, so...
365
00:15:51,158 --> 00:15:54,119
I can see how the biting thing
has been a bit of a downer.
366
00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:55,245
No. All of it.
367
00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:58,499
Your people and the way you are,
and the things you do.
368
00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:01,126
Quietly run the world really well
with no problems?
369
00:16:01,126 --> 00:16:03,837
We actually have an award party.
We all get trophies.
370
00:16:03,837 --> 00:16:06,715
We'll need a chef for that too.
Don't worry. Different island.
371
00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:08,842
- Oh, my goodness. The boathouse.
- What boathouse?
372
00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:11,470
The one on the other side
of the island that has a boat in it.
373
00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:14,890
- You're just remembering this now?
- Yes. Well, it's old. No one uses it.
374
00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:17,810
There may be just a dinghy there,
but still worth a shot.
375
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,437
Row home, get to my house tonight
in time for a nightcap.
376
00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:24,733
I don't think we should go out in the
open ocean in a dinghy in a bad storm.
377
00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:28,487
The weather is calming down
and it's not exactly the open ocean.
378
00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:31,031
Yeah, it is. We're like
an hour away from the mainland.
379
00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:33,492
More like five minutes.
Maybe 15 in the dinghy.
380
00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:35,202
Depends on who's rowing. Not it.
381
00:16:35,202 --> 00:16:37,329
What? Then why did it take us so long?
382
00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:39,248
You've never had a secret island,
have you?
383
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:41,750
You can't blindfold someone
and go five minutes away.
384
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:43,544
- I did a few laps.
- Oh, my God.
385
00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:46,213
Well, do you think we could fit
everybody in the dinghy?
386
00:16:46,213 --> 00:16:49,425
Yeah. Anyway, I think I know the way.
Shall we talk and walk?
387
00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:52,553
But quietly, because of
the multiple parties hunting us.
388
00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:54,722
Oh, and while we're walking,
maybe you can think
389
00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:58,392
of a reasonable partial refund for me,
since you won't be cooking breakfast.
390
00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:00,686
- (BOB GROANS)
- (HUBERT HOWLS)
391
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:03,647
- God, I hate that he does that.
- No boathouse there.
392
00:17:03,647 --> 00:17:06,859
- No boathouse there.
- I also hate when you do that.
393
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:09,111
It makes me think
you don't know where we're going.
394
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:11,363
Am I thinking of
the right boathouse? Darn.
395
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:13,907
- It might be something I made up.
- What?
396
00:17:13,907 --> 00:17:16,326
- Well, we had a nice walk, anyway.
- (WHIMPERS)
397
00:17:16,326 --> 00:17:17,661
- Oh! There it is.
- Oh!
398
00:17:17,911 --> 00:17:20,873
I'm pretty sure this is the boathouse
with the dinghy inside.
399
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:24,460
Wait. Was it a dinghy or was it a disco?
Now that was a cool boathouse.
400
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:28,130
- What the... Quit it. Ow!
- Gee, Samuel. Too far.
401
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:31,383
Oh, I thought we were doing
the whole whacky-whacky stick thing.
402
00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:33,635
No? Okay. Well, sorry.
403
00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:36,680
- FISCHOEDER: No need. I didn't feel it.
- BOB: You didn't get hit. I did.
404
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:39,767
- FISCHOEDER: Well, apology accepted.
- BOB: Oh, my God.
405
00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:44,313
Guys, I really don't like being tied up.
406
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:47,441
I expressed that earlier
when you tied me up the first time.
407
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,985
Tied up twice in the same day.
Is that a record for you?
408
00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:52,237
- Not for me.
- You people are not listening to me.
409
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:55,407
There's a boat in the boathouse.
We can use it to get off the island.
410
00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:57,326
The bait's trying to trick us again.
411
00:17:57,326 --> 00:18:00,287
- Sorry, bait.
- Might. There might be a boat in there.
412
00:18:00,287 --> 00:18:03,207
Stop saying that.
Can someone just go and look inside?
413
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:05,084
- All the way over there?
- I'll go.
414
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,835
It's the least bitten thing I can do.
415
00:18:06,835 --> 00:18:09,296
I can't believe you were
gonna leave us, Calvin.
416
00:18:09,296 --> 00:18:11,507
And to think I was going
to let you taste my llama.
417
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:13,342
We weren't. We were gonna get everybody.
418
00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:15,052
Yeah, everybody-ish.
419
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:18,347
- It's here. I call front.
- Wonderful. I call not-next-to-Auggie.
420
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:19,681
- AUGGIE: Hey.
- Sorry.
421
00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:21,350
It's just how you are in boats.
422
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:25,270
Okay, come on, Calvin and Calvin's chef.
You can hop to the boathouse, right?
423
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,606
Bye-bye, Babylon Island.
See you next year.
424
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:29,566
Good luck to you, Hubert,
wherever you are.
425
00:18:29,566 --> 00:18:32,236
You'll be getting a bill
from my dermatologist.
426
00:18:32,236 --> 00:18:34,780
No, no, guys.
You can't leave your friend.
427
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:37,032
- Mmm, friend?
- Why are we calling him a friend?
428
00:18:37,157 --> 00:18:39,535
- Professional acquaintance.
- I'm married to his sister.
429
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,662
Can we get going?
Discuss it on the boat?
430
00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:45,457
You can't leave Hubert.
He could get hurt or possibly die.
431
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:47,584
- You would all feel bad.
- I won't feel that bad.
432
00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:49,086
Because I will be in my bed.
433
00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:51,171
You gotta make some
tough decisions sometimes.
434
00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:54,675
You gotta be strong, burger guy.
That's what this island's all about.
435
00:18:54,675 --> 00:18:57,594
- Mmm-hmm. Sure.
- You think a little compassion is weak?
436
00:18:57,594 --> 00:19:01,390
A little decency? It might not be easy,
but it's definitely strong.
437
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:02,808
That's what I think.
438
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,685
Can we start backing
towards the boathouse?
439
00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:06,645
Nod and step. Nod and step.
440
00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:11,066
Ah, I think the self-righteous,
high-horsed burger man is right.
441
00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:14,278
It would be wrong and not strong for us
to leave Hubert behind.
442
00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:15,571
- Hey.
- Whoa!
443
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:19,616
And I have an idea that I hate,
but you will all like.
444
00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:23,579
He's right. I really do like it.
He's just good bait.
445
00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:25,455
I know. I kind of want to eat him.
446
00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:28,167
Third tie-up of the day, Bob.
You've tied my tie-up record.
447
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,294
- Thank you.
- (HUBERT SNARLING)
448
00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:32,504
Oh, here he comes.
449
00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:34,798
- Look. He's nude.
- In good shape, isn't he?
450
00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:36,884
Everyone ready?
Everyone ready with the tarp?
451
00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:39,261
You guys don't look ready.
Where's the tarp?
452
00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:42,389
- Oh, right. Tarp. Where did we put that?
- Oh, my God.
453
00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:44,683
- (PANTING)
- What are you doing in here?
454
00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:47,186
We're practicing how to get out
of a boring conversation.
455
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:49,146
It's really fun. You should come back.
456
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:52,566
I can't, Mom. I don't know how
I'm gonna remember all this stuff.
457
00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:54,276
I'm never gonna be able to be an adult.
458
00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:56,862
No one is gonna want me
at their cocktail party.
459
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,947
How am I gonna remember
to come a half-hour late,
460
00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:01,992
use a coaster, don't double-dip,
ask people questions about themselves,
461
00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:04,912
two and a half drink max,
lock the bathroom door before you pee,
462
00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,955
thank the host,
and don't be the last one out?
463
00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:08,707
It's too much. I can't remember it all.
464
00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:11,210
Tina, that was everything
from top to bottom.
465
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,628
- You did it.
- I did?
466
00:20:12,628 --> 00:20:15,380
- Did the party move in here?
- This is where the cool kids are.
467
00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:16,673
Where are they hiding?
468
00:20:16,673 --> 00:20:19,843
Teach us how to make nice with the cops
when they come about the noise.
469
00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:22,137
Ooh, yeah, let's do that one.
I'll be the cops.
470
00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:24,306
- (GRUFFLY) What's going on here?
- Hello, Officer.
471
00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:27,100
Does this dance make you
wanna join the party?
472
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:29,603
Oh, wow, yeah. That changes everything.
473
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:31,897
- (GRUNTING)
- This seems realistic.
474
00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:39,196
Sorry again about your arm. Bob, is it?
475
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:41,615
- Yep.
- Just send me the doctor's bill.
476
00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:43,784
Does anyone else
want to go get ice cream?
477
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:44,993
- Yes.
- Ooh. Ice cream.
478
00:20:44,993 --> 00:20:47,537
- Love this guy.
- My treat. Anyone have any extra pants?
479
00:20:47,537 --> 00:20:48,705
I'd like to go home.
480
00:20:48,705 --> 00:20:50,958
No, you know where
the secret island is now.
481
00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:52,626
- I'm afraid we have to kill you.
- What?
482
00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:54,711
FISCHOEDER: Kidding.
But come for ice cream.
483
00:20:54,711 --> 00:20:58,048
- Won't be any fun without you.
- Who will we fling our sprinkles at?
484
00:20:58,048 --> 00:20:59,132
BOB: Oh, great.
485
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,135
Ring-a-ding, ring-a-ding
486
00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:03,512
Ring-a-ding-ding
487
00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:05,806
- (HOWLS)
- Ring-a-ding, ring-a-ding
488
00:21:05,806 --> 00:21:07,266
Ring-a-ding-ding
489
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:11,561
Ding-dong
490
00:21:11,561 --> 00:21:13,230
- Hello
- Hi, honey
491
00:21:13,230 --> 00:21:14,314
I'm 30 minutes early
492
00:21:14,314 --> 00:21:16,233
Here's some wine
Someone gave me as a gift
493
00:21:16,233 --> 00:21:18,902
Is that what you're wearing?
Aren't you gonna put on music?
494
00:21:18,902 --> 00:21:20,654
Can I help out with snacks or anything?
495
00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:23,365
No? Okay.
Can I see what you have in the fridge?
496
00:21:23,365 --> 00:21:26,285
I haven't had dinner
Also I blocked your neighbor's driveway
497
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,412
He's cool, right?
498
00:21:30,664 --> 00:21:32,874
{\an8}(HOWLING)