1 00:00:02,627 --> 00:00:04,170 LINDA: So, everyone enjoying the dinner 2 00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:06,047 {\an8}your father and I nicely made you? 3 00:00:06,047 --> 00:00:08,133 {\an8}Don't be afraid to shout out compliments. 4 00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:09,551 {\an8}TINA: Oh, sorry. It's really good. 5 00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:11,386 {\an8}- Thank you. - It's chicken, right? 6 00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:13,138 {\an8}- Yes, Tina. - I knew it. 7 00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:15,682 {\an8}Sorry, Mom, I'm just still sort of reeling from school, 8 00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,851 {\an8}Where my grape-flavored finger pop-pet 9 00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,519 {\an8}was cruelly taken from me! 10 00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:21,646 {\an8}Yeah, you've mentioned the finger candy thing. 11 00:00:21,646 --> 00:00:23,023 {\an8}Finger pop-pet! 12 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,983 {\an8}Whoops. Hey. 13 00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:27,444 {\an8}- No candy in class. - But I wasn't eating it. 14 00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:28,737 {\an8}Then why does it look half-eaten? 15 00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:30,822 {\an8}Because I've been savoring it, 16 00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:32,240 {\an8}slowly and responsibly. 17 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:34,492 {\an8}Well, I'm gonna savor doing this. 18 00:00:34,492 --> 00:00:36,161 {\an8}LOUISE: No, no, no, no, no, no! Not the trash, no... 19 00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:38,580 {\an8}And that's why grown-ups are monsters. 20 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:41,583 {\an8}Okay. Uh, sorry about that, Louise, 21 00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:44,919 {\an8}but, uh, kids, we wanted to talk to you 22 00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:46,588 {\an8}- about something. - Right. 23 00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:48,965 {\an8}Are we all getting matching jumpsuits finally? 24 00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:50,050 {\an8}- No. - (Gene groans) 25 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,801 {\an8}So, uh, starting tomorrow, 26 00:00:51,801 --> 00:00:54,888 {\an8}your father and I thought it would be good 27 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:58,266 {\an8}and also re-really fun to do chores. 28 00:00:58,266 --> 00:01:00,060 {\an8}- Chores? - Didn't we try those before 29 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,103 {\an8}and we were all like, "Nah"? 30 00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:03,605 {\an8}Uh, we're-we're gonna try it again. 31 00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:05,440 {\an8}Yep, you're gonna clean the bathroom, 32 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:08,443 {\an8}vacuum the floors, dust... stuff. 33 00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:10,862 {\an8}Um, are we getting a raise in our very meager allowance 34 00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:12,489 {\an8}because of these so-called chores? 35 00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:14,449 {\an8}Yeah! I mean, yeah. 36 00:01:14,449 --> 00:01:16,284 {\an8}No. I think the reward 37 00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:18,495 {\an8}is that you are contributing to this family. 38 00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:20,955 {\an8}And learning that it's important to pitch in 39 00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:23,541 {\an8}in society and stuff like that. 40 00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:25,543 {\an8}You know, we do work in the restaurant. 41 00:01:25,543 --> 00:01:27,170 {\an8}Every day. For free. 42 00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:29,589 Not that any of us have called child welfare or anything. 43 00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:30,799 Except for that one time. 44 00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:32,300 I didn't love that you did that. 45 00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:33,718 But the guy we talked to was nice. 46 00:01:33,718 --> 00:01:35,804 Oh, yeah. Todd. What's he up to? 47 00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:38,264 Where is all this chore stuff coming from, anyway? 48 00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:40,350 - NPR? - Well, if you must know, 49 00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:43,103 I was talking to Grandma Gloria the other day 50 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:45,188 and she reminded me that they made me and Gayle 51 00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:47,482 do chores every weekend when we were growing up. 52 00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:49,609 And she thought we should be doing it with you kids. 53 00:01:49,609 --> 00:01:51,319 She actually thought we already were, 54 00:01:51,319 --> 00:01:53,113 and I said we tried, but it didn't really stick 55 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,781 and then she made that "hmph" sound. 56 00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:56,199 Ugh, Grandma Gloria. 57 00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:58,034 No huggies from Genie for a year. 58 00:01:58,034 --> 00:02:01,788 All right. Well, what if we refuse to do these chores? 59 00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,748 - Yeah. - Respectfully? 60 00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:06,751 Okay, well, then, I would respectfully say 61 00:02:06,751 --> 00:02:08,461 you don't have a choice. 62 00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:10,672 - Right, Bob? - Uh, uh, right. 63 00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,841 Well, then, we're going to respectfully 64 00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:14,425 stop eating our vegetables. 65 00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:16,594 Gene, Tina? Want to stop eating your broccoli? 66 00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:17,804 (whispering): But I like broccoli. 67 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,180 - Tina! - Right, sorry. 68 00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:20,890 (normal volume): Well, then, you are respectfully 69 00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:22,142 not getting any dessert. 70 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,686 - Damn it! - Okay, then we are respectfully 71 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:26,813 - not doing our homework. - Ooh. 72 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,439 You're gonna play this game with Mama? 73 00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:29,858 Oh, yeah. 74 00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,609 Oh, good. 75 00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,114 (whispering): But Lin, "no TV" 76 00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:39,200 - means we don't get to watch TV. - Show no weakness. 77 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:40,618 - They're gonna crack. - What if they don't crack? 78 00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:42,120 I'm worried they're not cracking. 79 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,454 LOUISE (normal volume): Mm-mmm. Nope. 80 00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:44,664 - Not brushing them. - (groans) 81 00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:46,291 - BOB: Mm. - And if we get painful cavities, 82 00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:49,169 - we'll be the ones laughing. - Yeah. Wait. 83 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,628 LINDA: Okay, early bedtime, 84 00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:52,964 in your room, lights out, now. 85 00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:55,049 - Nuh-uh. Not going to bed. - Until we get tired. 86 00:02:55,049 --> 00:02:56,301 - Yeah. - Guys. 87 00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:58,011 - I mean, never. - Right. 88 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,305 - Okay, then, no... - What? 89 00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:01,764 - No... - You got nothing. 90 00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:04,017 No, no Christmas ever again! 91 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:07,061 Uh, Linda, want to have a quick chat? 92 00:03:07,061 --> 00:03:09,439 I feel like it's not going well. 93 00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:11,232 What-what if I go buy a bag of candy 94 00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:12,650 and we give them candy 95 00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:14,277 - if they do the chores? - No, Bob. 96 00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:15,820 They should do chores 'cause we told them to 97 00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:17,447 and 'cause it'll make them better people in society 98 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,365 and all that crap, not to get candy. 99 00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:21,659 I mean, what if they turn into little delinquents 100 00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:25,038 who won't listen to authority and it-it ruins their lives? 101 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,290 Then we'll just pretend we don't know them? 102 00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:28,416 Hmm. Maybe. 103 00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:29,918 Well, the kids have to go to bed. 104 00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:32,587 So, we need a cease-fire, I think. 105 00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:34,923 (sighs) Okay, fine. You're right. 106 00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:36,549 Eh, we'll-we'll put a pin in the chores thing 107 00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:38,551 and figure out a way to make them do them tomorrow. 108 00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:39,969 Blackmail, maybe? 109 00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:41,512 Have you been writing stuff down? I haven't. 110 00:03:41,512 --> 00:03:43,306 - (groans) - Kids. 111 00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:45,016 Come in here. Come on. 112 00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:47,143 - Okay. - Hmm. 113 00:03:47,143 --> 00:03:49,562 I'm sorry about that "no Christmas" thing. 114 00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:51,439 Come on. Come up in the bed with Mama. 115 00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:53,316 - Come on. - Are you gonna kill us? 116 00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:54,609 No. 117 00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:57,237 Let's, uh, revisit the chores thing later. 118 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,530 Why don't we all just relax, huh? 119 00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:01,866 (yawns) So tired, right? 120 00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:04,118 - No. - Yes. Should we sing a nice song 121 00:04:04,118 --> 00:04:06,955 or tell a bedtime story? Huh? 122 00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:08,748 A bedtime story? Like you guys used to do? 123 00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:11,042 - Back when we were children? - Oh, yeah, Dad, 124 00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:14,212 you used to tell that story about Pepperoni the Sleepy Pony. 125 00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:16,422 - Oh, right. - Aw, Pepperoni. 126 00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:19,175 Roaming the plains, looking for a nice place to sleep. 127 00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:20,885 - And a little pepperoni. - GENE: Aren't we all? 128 00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:22,428 Tell that story, Bob. 129 00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:25,014 Okay. Um, I think I remember it. 130 00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:27,684 - But maybe he's not sleepy. - And maybe he's really buff? 131 00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:30,561 But also super humble. About how buff he is. 132 00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:32,480 But he's still into pepperoni. 133 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,232 Uh, okay, so, 134 00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:37,485 Pepperoni the super buff pony wanders around, 135 00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:40,405 looking for a place to, um, not sleep. 136 00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:42,615 And he ends up in a town. 137 00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,826 It was a small mining town 138 00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:48,037 - called W-Western-ville. - LINDA: Oh, that's good. 139 00:04:48,037 --> 00:04:49,372 BOB: And there were three siblings that lived there, 140 00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:51,332 the Belch-earps. 141 00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:53,167 The-the Bearps. 142 00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:54,460 And they operated the town's tavern. 143 00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:55,795 The youngest ran the bar 144 00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,213 and the gambling side of things... 145 00:04:57,213 --> 00:04:59,007 LOUISE: Oh, and give me giant boots 146 00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:00,633 with huge spurs on the back. 147 00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:03,553 - And the front. - BOB: Uh, okay, sure. 148 00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:05,430 A-And the middle one ran the entertainment. 149 00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:06,889 GENE: And I have one of those player pianos. 150 00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:08,391 But I can carry it around. 151 00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:10,643 BOB: You carry around a player piano? 152 00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:12,770 - Yeah, because it's cutting-edge. - All right. 153 00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:15,565 Uh, and the oldest runs the hotel and stables. 154 00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:17,650 TINA: Well, more of a horse hotel that also has rooms for people. 155 00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:18,901 Right this way, sir. 156 00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:20,653 - It's classy. - LINDA: (clears throat) 157 00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:23,740 And, uh, maybe there's some nice sheriffs in this town. 158 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,950 - M-Married sheriffs. - BOB: Uh, okay. 159 00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:28,411 LINDA: Yeah, and they're really great, but the townspeople 160 00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:30,496 don't listen to the sheriffs because the townspeople 161 00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:33,124 can be big pains in the butt sometimes. 162 00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:36,419 But I thought this was supposed to be a relaxing bedtime story? 163 00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:38,713 - Yeah, so one of the sheriffs says... - Yeah. 164 00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:40,506 Hey, Bearps, maybe you could try and keep 165 00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:42,133 your area nice and clean today? 166 00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:43,551 Hmm, let me think about that. 167 00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:45,094 (blows raspberry) Oh, and also... 168 00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:46,512 - (blows raspberry) - But I mean, 169 00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:49,849 maybe you could, you know, sweep up all the glass? 170 00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:52,393 Um, I think I know the gambling business, m'kay? 171 00:05:52,393 --> 00:05:55,063 (grunts) It's read 'em and weep, not read 'em and sweep. 172 00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:57,231 ♪ And I'm not cleaning up anything, either ♪ 173 00:05:57,231 --> 00:06:00,109 ♪ In the Wild, Wild West. ♪ 174 00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:02,528 LINDA: They wouldn't listen to anything the married sheriffs said, 175 00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:03,946 who were actually a lot older 176 00:06:03,946 --> 00:06:05,990 and smarter than the townspeople, 177 00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:07,867 but still good-looking for their age. 178 00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,243 But there was a reason the townspeople 179 00:06:09,243 --> 00:06:11,371 didn't want to listen to the married sheriffs. 180 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,997 - No, there wasn't. - Yes, there was. 181 00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:14,916 - Because one night... - Hey, you're not telling the story. 182 00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,876 Because one night, 183 00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:19,087 after they ordered the townspeople to go to bed... 184 00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:21,214 - LINDA: Townspeople, go to bed. - BOB: Yeah. 185 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,715 - LINDA: 'Cause we're the boss. - Yeah. 186 00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:23,883 LOUISE: And after all the old-timey 187 00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:25,301 Old West lights were out, 188 00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:27,595 the married sheriffs got on their horses 189 00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:29,430 and they rode off into the night. 190 00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:31,224 But not everyone went to bed. 191 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,434 The three Bearps followed the sheriffs. 192 00:06:33,434 --> 00:06:34,936 Attaboy, Pepperoni. 193 00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:37,480 Three riders on him and he's not even breaking a sweat. 194 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,148 So buff. 195 00:06:39,148 --> 00:06:41,401 LOUISE: They tracked them to the mine outside of town. 196 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:44,070 And there, they discovered that the married sheriffs 197 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,239 were having a sneaky nighttime meeting 198 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:50,660 with owner of the mine and super rich guy Mr. Goldoeder. 199 00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:52,787 Hello. I was just kissing my gold good night. 200 00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:55,540 So, how's the secret plan to have those nitwit townspeople 201 00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:57,708 keep the place nice and tidy going? 202 00:06:57,708 --> 00:07:00,962 So that Big G will be impressed and want to buy the town, 203 00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:04,841 the mine and all this land, and we get our big payout? 204 00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:07,635 Wait, what? No, the married sheriffs are good guys. 205 00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:09,220 Yeah, that's what they want you to think. 206 00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:11,681 It turns out their intentions were not so good. 207 00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:14,434 - In fact, they were bad. - No. 208 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:17,395 And all to serve their own greedy purposes. 209 00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:18,855 - No. - (grunts) 210 00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,523 LOUISE (whispering): We got to get rid of the married sheriffs. 211 00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:22,024 - TINA: Yep. - GENE: The Merriffs? 212 00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:23,443 - That what I call them. - (Pepperoni sighs) 213 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,902 GENE: Pepperoni likes it. 214 00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:29,782 So, the plan-- the tidy townspeople plan-- 215 00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:30,867 catch me up. How's it going? 216 00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:32,410 It's going really good. 217 00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:34,787 - It-It's not going good. - It's not going good. 218 00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:36,122 Well, you two need to get tough. 219 00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,582 Maybe make an example of one of them. 220 00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:39,250 Blast 'em with your bean blaster. 221 00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:41,210 Like this. Pew! 222 00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:43,754 That's uh, the exact rock I was aiming to hit. 223 00:07:43,754 --> 00:07:45,423 I should have, uh, said that beforehand. 224 00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:46,841 Anyway, everything has to be perfect 225 00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:48,759 for when Big G comes. 226 00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:50,845 She does not approve of messy towns 227 00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:52,722 or ill-behaved townspeople. 228 00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,307 And if Big G doesn't approve, 229 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:55,892 then she's not gonna buy us out 230 00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:57,310 and we don't get the money, 231 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,395 which I know we're all big fans of. 232 00:07:59,395 --> 00:08:01,689 Don't worry, we'll make sure Big G is happy. 233 00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:03,399 (sniffs) What am I smelling? 234 00:08:03,399 --> 00:08:05,943 Oh, that's me. I-I don't wash myself. 235 00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:07,695 That's... (sighs) Okay. 236 00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:09,155 So, the townspeople had to figure out 237 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:12,158 how to get rid of the terrible, greedy, smelly sheriffs. 238 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,202 (whispering): What if I just pop down to the pharmacy 239 00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:16,078 and ask for drugs that put kids to sleep? 240 00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:18,498 Probably not. But maybe? 241 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,790 (normal volume): Anyway, the three siblings had 242 00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:21,501 a secret meeting of their own. 243 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,753 Okay, all the townspeople chipped in. 244 00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,838 We've got about a thousand dollars here. 245 00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:28,674 TINA: Or we can offer you and your horses a free, all expenses paid 246 00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:30,510 weekend here at the inn, 247 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,303 which includes drinks, horse massages, 248 00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:34,180 our finest pretty-clean chamber pots. 249 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,723 Your own personal entertainer. 250 00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:37,850 ♪ Look at you, using your chamber pot. ♪ 251 00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:39,352 I think we'll just take the money. 252 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,561 But I like that song. 253 00:08:40,561 --> 00:08:42,772 So, how exactly does the whole 254 00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:44,690 "taking someone and leaving them in the middle of nowhere" 255 00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:45,775 business work? 256 00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,443 Well, basically we just take 'em 257 00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:49,237 and then we, uh, leave 'em in the middle of nowhere. 258 00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:50,321 LOUISE: Okay, then. 259 00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:51,405 Yup, with no money, 260 00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:52,990 uncomfortable walking shoes, 261 00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:55,243 only, like, a super small thing of sunscreen. 262 00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:56,327 No podcasts. 263 00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:57,662 Okay, but what if then, 264 00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:59,622 one of the leave-in- the-middle-of-nowhere guys 265 00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:00,790 starts asking some questions? 266 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:01,958 Are you sure you want to 267 00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,125 get rid of the married sheriffs? 268 00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:04,835 I mean, uh I haven't been here long, 269 00:09:04,835 --> 00:09:06,045 but they seem nice to me. 270 00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:07,797 And-and loving, I want to say? 271 00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:10,216 Yeah, and wise. Like, they've got all this wisdom 272 00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:12,093 to pass on about life, and the world... 273 00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:13,177 Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh. 274 00:09:13,177 --> 00:09:14,679 They're forcing us to do chores. 275 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:15,763 - (gasps) - Do what? 276 00:09:15,763 --> 00:09:17,431 No way. You guys seem like 277 00:09:17,431 --> 00:09:19,100 you work so hard all the time. 278 00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,434 And you're delightful. 279 00:09:20,434 --> 00:09:22,353 - I know. - Well, I'm gonna enjoy 280 00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:23,604 leaving them in the middle of nowhere. 281 00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:25,815 And maybe only one bathroom break on the way, 282 00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,441 and then, after that, we'll be like, 283 00:09:27,441 --> 00:09:29,193 -"You got to hold it." - Yeah. 284 00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:31,279 But if we have to go, we still stop. 285 00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:32,738 I-I have a small bladder. 286 00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:34,115 But a big heart. 287 00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:37,326 LINDA (whispering): Married Sheriff Bob, 288 00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:38,995 I think something weird might be going on. 289 00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:41,038 BOB: Why, 'cause some strangers threw us on a horse 290 00:09:41,038 --> 00:09:42,790 - and put a blanket over us? - Yeah. 291 00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:44,500 I'm beginning to think maybe this isn't 292 00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,961 about a surprise birthday party for us at all. 293 00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:49,630 I mean, for one thing, it's not anywhere close to our birthdays. 294 00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:50,756 Yeah. Come to think of it, 295 00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:52,300 I was actually the one who said 296 00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,010 "Is this, like, a surprise birthday party thing?" 297 00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,720 And they said "Sure, whatever." 298 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,096 (normal volume): Ooh, that's bright. 299 00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:58,889 - Where are we? - The middle of nowhere. 300 00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:01,183 - What town is that near? - None. This is your stop. 301 00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:02,268 - Aah! - Aah! 302 00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:05,688 Can we have our bean blasters back? No reason. Also, 303 00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:08,274 can you maybe give us your bean blasters? No reason. 304 00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:09,358 - Nope. - BOB: Fair enough. 305 00:10:09,358 --> 00:10:10,526 And don't you start pleading with us 306 00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:12,153 not to leave you here 'cause we don't feel 307 00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:13,779 emotionally compromised about this at all. 308 00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:15,948 Uh, please don't leave us here? 309 00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,491 - Dang it! - Please! 310 00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:18,909 I'm not wearing the right bra for this. 311 00:10:18,909 --> 00:10:20,411 Sorry. Best of luck. 312 00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:22,997 Are they still looking at us? 313 00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:25,374 Uh, let me check. Yeah. 314 00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:26,751 Do they look PO'd? 315 00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,252 Pretty-pretty PO'd. 316 00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:29,754 How about now? 317 00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:32,673 - Hmm. Look still pretty upset. - Aw, man. 318 00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:33,924 JIMMY JR.: Hey, cheer up. Let's go get you 319 00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:35,926 - a western omelet. - ZEKE: Okay. 320 00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:37,845 So the married sheriffs got what they deserved. 321 00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:39,430 The end. What a great story. 322 00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:41,390 I mean the structure's a little all over the place... 323 00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:44,268 Up, bup, bup. That's not the end. No, no, no. You know why? 324 00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:45,770 GENE: Because nobody's kissed yet? 325 00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:47,980 Because the married sheriffs didn't give up. 326 00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:50,191 They weren't gonna let those punky townspeople win. 327 00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,109 Not that it was about winning or losing. 328 00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:54,695 No, it was. So, they started walking. 329 00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:57,573 And they kept on walking. 330 00:10:57,573 --> 00:10:59,909 And sure, there were some piggy back rides. 331 00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,160 And then they switched. 332 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,454 Uh, yup. And-and they, 333 00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:04,705 uh, fought wolves. 334 00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:06,415 They danced with wolves, 335 00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:08,376 and they fought more wolves because those wolves 336 00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:11,212 didn't like the fact that they danced with those other wolves. 337 00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:13,464 Anyway, it was all to get back to the townspeople 338 00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:15,049 to help them and watch over them. 339 00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:18,135 Oh, no, the townspeople are having an amazing time 340 00:11:18,135 --> 00:11:20,137 and just totally taking care of themselves. 341 00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:22,682 - ♪ ♪ - (cheering) 342 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,725 Yeah! 343 00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:26,977 Well, that's because they didn't know what was coming. 344 00:11:26,977 --> 00:11:29,480 It was trouble. Real bad trouble. 345 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:30,940 The bad kind. 346 00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:33,150 You naughty little nincompoops. 347 00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:35,653 You couldn't just do what you were told, could you? 348 00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:38,280 Big G is gonna change this whole place. 349 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:39,699 You could have been part of it. 350 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:42,284 A wonderful, new, civilized society. 351 00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:44,620 The well-mannered West, she's gonna call it. 352 00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:46,372 And also, I'm gonna get even richer, 353 00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,582 which will be pretty cool. 354 00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:50,751 So, what's it gonna be? You leave town 355 00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:53,129 or my miner minions and I 356 00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:55,005 fill you full of beans. 357 00:11:55,005 --> 00:11:56,215 In a bad way? 358 00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:57,967 In a very bad way. 359 00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,468 - Linda. - What? Too harsh? 360 00:11:59,468 --> 00:12:00,636 It's a western. 361 00:12:00,636 --> 00:12:01,887 Don't you make me scared of beans, woman! 362 00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:08,561 {\an8}So, the townspeople-- who could have avoided all this 363 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,229 by just listening to the sheriffs 364 00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:11,522 and cleaning up the place, 365 00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:14,233 but no-- now they were staring down 366 00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:16,902 the bean blaster barrels of Mr. Goldoeder 367 00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:19,905 and his miner minions. It was a standoff. 368 00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:21,866 They were so standoffish. Sorry. 369 00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:23,743 Standoff music. 370 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,328 ♪ ♪ 371 00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:40,301 (Linda panting) 372 00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:41,385 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 373 00:12:41,385 --> 00:12:43,012 - Whoa! - Stop, stop, stop. 374 00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:44,096 We're here to protect you. 375 00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:45,681 Who? Me? That's nice. 376 00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:47,433 - No, them. - Oh, boo. 377 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,059 Also, water would be great. 378 00:12:49,059 --> 00:12:50,644 Anyone have water? 379 00:12:50,644 --> 00:12:51,729 Uh, I-I'll ask later. 380 00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:52,813 Wait, wait, wait. 381 00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:53,898 Why should we trust you? 382 00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:55,399 - Because. - Because why? 383 00:12:55,399 --> 00:12:58,152 Because we're the sheriffs and it's our job to protect you. 384 00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:00,154 But how do we know you're not just out for yourself, 385 00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:02,656 working with Goldoeder to get your big payday 386 00:13:02,656 --> 00:13:03,824 by impressing Big G? 387 00:13:03,824 --> 00:13:05,493 Okay, yeah, maybe we wanted 388 00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:07,912 to impress Big G a little bit. So sue us. 389 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:09,330 Not that this town has a lawyer. 390 00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:10,998 - I'm a lawyer. - Oh, you are? 391 00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:13,125 Yup. Personal injury, mostly. 392 00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:15,044 - Oh, uh, great. - A little tax law. 393 00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:16,337 - Okay, yeah, I got it. - Yup. 394 00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:17,755 LINDA: Anyway, what if doing chores 395 00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:19,381 was actually good for you? 396 00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:21,592 Huh? Did you ever think about that, you punks? 397 00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:22,885 That-that we love. 398 00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:25,513 Maybe making you do chores is protecting you. 399 00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:27,431 From being delinquents. Ugh! 400 00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:29,600 - Why didn't you just listen to us? - Now! 401 00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:32,561 - Aah! - Huh? 402 00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:35,773 Hey! See? That's what happens when we listen to you-- 403 00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:38,442 we get all distracted and we get our bean blasters stolen. 404 00:13:38,442 --> 00:13:40,528 Damn it! Mine tied my whole outfit together. 405 00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:42,571 LINDA: But then Married Sheriff Linda said... 406 00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:45,032 Well, you can't bean blast all of us, Goldoeder. 407 00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:47,284 For one thing, it would be a big beany mess, 408 00:13:47,284 --> 00:13:49,119 and you know Big G doesn't like messes. 409 00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:50,412 That's true. Dang it. 410 00:13:50,412 --> 00:13:51,497 LOUISE: But then he had an idea. 411 00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:53,666 I have an idea. Let's have some fun. 412 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:54,750 - Yay! - Yay! 413 00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:56,418 Bearps? Married sheriffs? 414 00:13:56,418 --> 00:13:58,128 How about a quick draw contest? 415 00:13:58,128 --> 00:14:01,006 Each round is two people, two beans. Best shot wins. 416 00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:02,550 And the winner of the whole thing 417 00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:05,219 gets to decide who stays and who goes. 418 00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:06,846 Oh, and also, I'm entering 419 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,681 and I'm an amazing shot. 420 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:09,932 Pew! 421 00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:13,435 Yup, that's... the one I was trying to hit. 422 00:14:13,435 --> 00:14:15,271 And I did. 423 00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:16,856 Whoa, whoa, whoa, the sheriffs would not 424 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,108 get into a quick draw contest with their own people. 425 00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:21,735 Also, Louise, this sounds a lot like 426 00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:23,195 the movie The Quick and the Dead. 427 00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:25,281 GENE: Which came first, the movie or this story? 428 00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:26,907 Uh, the movie. 429 00:14:26,907 --> 00:14:28,158 So, is it like a rom-com, or... 430 00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:29,660 Have you seen that movie, Louise? 431 00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,996 Only, like, the parts they showed on TV. 432 00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:33,581 While you were asleep on the couch, 433 00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:35,124 when I watched the whole movie. 434 00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:36,834 Anyway, of course the sheriffs would do it 435 00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,794 because, deep down, they knew it was the only way 436 00:14:38,794 --> 00:14:40,546 to prove who's boss of this town. 437 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,172 - No, I don't think so. - She's right. 438 00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:43,799 - What? - They got to do the bean blaster 439 00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:45,551 competition thingy to show who's boss. 440 00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:46,886 And Sheriff Bob and Sheriff Linda 441 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:47,970 somehow both win, the end. 442 00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,430 Dut, ba, dut-dut-dut-dut! 443 00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:51,140 So, the contest began. 444 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:54,184 First up, Married Sheriff Bob vs. Louise. 445 00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:56,353 And please enjoy my tiny hat. 446 00:14:56,353 --> 00:14:57,688 A baby gave it to me. 447 00:14:57,688 --> 00:15:00,232 Just kidding, I had it made. By a baby. 448 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,195 You're going down. 449 00:15:05,195 --> 00:15:07,573 Uh, can I go against someone else? 450 00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:10,117 Maybe someone, uh, less i-intimidating? 451 00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:11,201 Maybe the lawyer? 452 00:15:11,201 --> 00:15:12,578 - Hey. - Nope. 453 00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:14,413 Okay, I-I just... 454 00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:18,667 My butt's out, isn't it? 455 00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:20,377 - It is. - Disgusting! 456 00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:21,795 Well, that's not fair. 457 00:15:21,795 --> 00:15:23,839 Also, Louise, why would my butt flap be open? 458 00:15:23,839 --> 00:15:25,215 Wouldn't it be closed? 459 00:15:25,215 --> 00:15:26,967 Oh, they don't invent closing butt flaps 460 00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:28,093 for another 50 years. 461 00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:29,470 Everybody, just listen. 462 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:30,596 Mom, I didn't get to the part 463 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:31,972 where you shoot Gene's belt off 464 00:15:31,972 --> 00:15:33,724 - and his butt is hanging out. - Nice. 465 00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:37,519 Why?! Why?! No! 466 00:15:37,519 --> 00:15:39,229 (weakly): Ashes to ashes. 467 00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:40,731 Butt to butt. 468 00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:42,983 Wait. Did I die? 469 00:15:42,983 --> 00:15:44,401 No, you were just being dramatic. 470 00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:45,819 Got it. Continue. 471 00:15:45,819 --> 00:15:47,196 How did I do, Louise? Pretty good? 472 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,074 Get ready for me to, 473 00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:51,742 um, shoot you with... 474 00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:53,494 Oh, you won. 475 00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:54,578 So, not great. 476 00:15:54,578 --> 00:15:55,663 LOUISE: Then it was time 477 00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:56,872 to find out who would face off 478 00:15:56,872 --> 00:15:58,499 with Goldoeder in the final round. 479 00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:00,000 And that's when Goldoeder decided 480 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,710 to make it more interesting. 481 00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:03,170 Let's make it more interesting. 482 00:16:03,170 --> 00:16:04,505 Now that we're down to the real-deal 483 00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:06,173 head honchos around here, 484 00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:08,676 why don't we switch to the real-deal bean. 485 00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:09,927 Lima. 486 00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:11,095 (gasping) 487 00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:12,554 You can't be serious. 488 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,851 But lima beans are huge. And they hurt like hell. 489 00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:19,478 And they taste okay at best. 490 00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:21,605 I mean, if you sauté them with a little butter... 491 00:16:21,605 --> 00:16:22,690 - Bob, shush. - Dad, shh. 492 00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,566 - Sorry. - And Married Sheriff Linda said: 493 00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:27,444 I can't believe you're about to blast me with a lima bean. 494 00:16:27,444 --> 00:16:28,696 LOUISE: And Louise said: 495 00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:30,322 I can't believe you're about to 496 00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:31,407 blast me with a lima bean. 497 00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:34,076 Just do the frickin' chores. 498 00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:36,161 No frickin' way. 499 00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:39,748 Aah! Why can't you just do something when I ask you to? 500 00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:42,459 I'm in charge and I know what's best for you. 501 00:16:42,459 --> 00:16:44,753 It's like you don't respect me at all, 502 00:16:44,753 --> 00:16:47,214 even though everything I do, I do it for you. 503 00:16:47,214 --> 00:16:48,799 Okay, Bryan Adams. 504 00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:50,175 Sorry. Not doing them. 505 00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:53,429 Ugh! It's so frustrating! 506 00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:55,055 (sniffs) You know what? Forget it. 507 00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:57,349 Forget everything, I don't care. I don't care what you do. 508 00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:58,684 (sniffs) 509 00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:02,438 Are you crying? During a quick draw competition? 510 00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:04,148 No, I'm fine. 511 00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:07,276 Just, I'm in charge and I'm fine. I'm fine. 512 00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:09,236 Uh-oh. Uh, hey, everyone, 513 00:17:09,236 --> 00:17:12,072 uh, look at, uh, Pepperoni the Pony. 514 00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:13,699 (clucks tongue) 515 00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:16,452 - So hot. - It's not all about you, Pepperoni. 516 00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:17,995 (cries) It's not... 517 00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:20,664 Uh, do I... win? 518 00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:26,545 Is Mom okay? I'm only asking 519 00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:28,213 'cause she ran out of the room crying. 520 00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:29,798 Maybe it's part of her nightly beauty regimen 521 00:17:29,798 --> 00:17:31,258 that we just aren't aware of. 522 00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:32,509 If it works, it works. 523 00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:34,219 I'm gonna, uh, go talk to her. 524 00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:35,679 Or maybe I go? 525 00:17:35,679 --> 00:17:37,848 Oh. Uh, okay. 526 00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:41,393 So, anybody have any fun weekend plans? 527 00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:42,519 - No. - Okay. 528 00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:44,480 Uh, Mom? 529 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,815 Hi. I'm fine. 530 00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:48,233 I just needed to fart, 531 00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:50,235 so I ran out here to fart. 532 00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:52,404 And I'm-I'm not crying, 533 00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,990 even though it's really cool for moms to get angry 534 00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:56,992 and frustrated and cry in front of their kids. 535 00:17:56,992 --> 00:17:59,453 I'm sorry I made you not cry. 536 00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:00,913 Now I feel like a jerk. 537 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,539 I just... It's not easy 538 00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:03,874 having someone bigger than you 539 00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:05,584 telling you what to do all the time. 540 00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:07,086 And then that thing at school, 541 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,797 Labonz taking my beautiful finger pop-pet. 542 00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:12,424 You, uh, you caught me at a bad time. 543 00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:14,051 I know, I know. 544 00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:16,386 But I just had that phone call with Grandma 545 00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:18,722 and her whole chores spiel got in my head. 546 00:18:18,722 --> 00:18:20,474 So let's call it all Grandma's fault. 547 00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:22,059 No, we love Grandma. 548 00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:23,185 But, yes, sort of. 549 00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:24,645 Also, I mean, one of our chores 550 00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:26,355 was to light Grandpa's cigars. 551 00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,190 Like, in our mouths, so... 552 00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:29,650 I can still taste it. 553 00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:31,193 So, maybe she's not mother of the year. 554 00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:32,319 Well, now she sounds great. 555 00:18:32,319 --> 00:18:33,862 It's just, you know... 556 00:18:33,862 --> 00:18:35,656 It's been so much pressure 557 00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:38,408 trying to raise good kids. Good humans. 558 00:18:38,408 --> 00:18:40,619 It can mess you up. And then I get mad at you guys, 559 00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:42,121 but you're just being kids. 560 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,664 It's-it's just... (sniffs) 561 00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:44,957 You know, it's just a lot. 562 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,209 Mostly 'cause of Tina, right? And Gene? 563 00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:48,710 Come here, you. 564 00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:51,171 You know, I'm glad you're so spunky. 565 00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:52,589 It'll be good for you when you're older. 566 00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:54,842 Nobody's gonna push my Louise around. 567 00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:56,885 You'll be the toughest little cutie in prison. (grunts) 568 00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:58,345 - Thanks, Mom. - And I'm still gonna try 569 00:18:58,345 --> 00:18:59,930 - to make you do chores. - Mmm, never. 570 00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,640 - What if I give you candy? - Deal. 571 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,100 Maybe some of those finger blasters? 572 00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:04,184 Finger pop-pets. 573 00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:05,602 The candy thing was my idea. 574 00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:07,229 I'd clean the crap out of this place for some candy. 575 00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:09,231 As usual, candy solves everything. 576 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:10,607 Now can we go back to Mom and Dad's bed 577 00:19:10,607 --> 00:19:12,609 and finish the story? I need to know 578 00:19:12,609 --> 00:19:14,111 what happens to that intriguing piano player. 579 00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:15,988 Does he ever play Coachella? 580 00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,823 Oh, hurry it up already. 581 00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:19,199 I need to go home and wash these miners 582 00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:21,618 before tomorrow. They're filthy. 583 00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:25,539 What the... 584 00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:27,541 Yeah, we're on the same side now. 585 00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:28,792 Yeah, deal with it. 586 00:19:28,792 --> 00:19:30,294 - Yay! - Same sidesies! 587 00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:32,254 Oh, whatever. I'll just bean you both. 588 00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:33,964 Could you stand just next to each other? 589 00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:35,507 And-and also stand closer to me? 590 00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:37,092 What is going on? 591 00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:39,136 Oh, Big G. When did you get here? 592 00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:40,262 Just now. 593 00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,389 I took a coach from the train station. 594 00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:45,434 The driver was very rough with my bags, 595 00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:47,978 and his horses were way too loud. 596 00:19:47,978 --> 00:19:49,980 Oh, sorry to hear that. 597 00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:51,773 Well, everything's fine, Big G. 598 00:19:51,773 --> 00:19:54,776 Just gonna get rid of all these naughty townspeople real quick 599 00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:56,028 and then I can take you 600 00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:58,280 on a fun tour. FYI, the married sheriffs 601 00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,865 are not cool anymore. 602 00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:03,827 Ech. Is nobody doing any chores around here? 603 00:20:03,827 --> 00:20:05,621 I do not approve. 604 00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:08,832 Well, guess what? That's fine. You don't have to approve of it. 605 00:20:08,832 --> 00:20:10,792 LOUISE: Yeah. Agree to disapprove. 606 00:20:10,792 --> 00:20:13,420 This is our town. These are our people. 607 00:20:13,420 --> 00:20:15,923 And that tart, onion-y odor is our smell. 608 00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:18,133 And sure, us sheriffs may not always do 609 00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:20,802 what we're supposed to do, but we do what we need to do. 610 00:20:20,802 --> 00:20:22,137 For the good of this town. 611 00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:23,680 And I'm gonna be a better sheriff 612 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,140 if I listen to my gut, 613 00:20:25,140 --> 00:20:27,976 and not someone else's gut who doesn't even live here. 614 00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:30,854 And right now, my gut is telling me 615 00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:32,606 back off, Big G. 616 00:20:33,106 --> 00:20:34,107 Aah! 617 00:20:34,107 --> 00:20:35,567 BOB: Wait, there's a canon? 618 00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:37,277 And I ride it, somehow? 619 00:20:37,277 --> 00:20:38,487 LINDA: Yeah, a bean canon. 620 00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:40,364 BOB: And it's rolling on its own? 621 00:20:40,364 --> 00:20:41,490 LINDA: Well, that's how some canons 622 00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:42,908 worked back then, I'm pretty sure. 623 00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:43,992 Psst, hey. 624 00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:45,077 Should we move them? 625 00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,578 No, they look so sweet. 626 00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:47,996 We can all fit, right? 627 00:20:47,996 --> 00:20:50,624 Yep. Half my body is probably fine just floating. 628 00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:53,418 (yawning): Wait, you forgot something. 629 00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:54,878 - Yeah. - Oh, right. 630 00:20:57,381 --> 00:20:59,591 This is some good pepperoni. 631 00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:03,720 ♪ Ah, Pepperoni roamin' the plains ♪ 632 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,932 ♪ Yes, sir, he's one handsome pony ♪ 633 00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:08,475 ♪ One handsome pony ♪ 634 00:21:08,475 --> 00:21:11,645 ♪ Looks like he found some pepperoni ♪ 635 00:21:11,645 --> 00:21:14,064 ♪ He's super buff and super humble ♪ 636 00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:17,484 ♪ The only thing hotter than his muscles are his morals ♪ 637 00:21:17,484 --> 00:21:19,236 ♪ He's got hard morals ♪ 638 00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:22,489 ♪ Go on and look at him flexing his pectorals ♪ 639 00:21:22,489 --> 00:21:25,826 - ♪ Ah, come on, Pepperoni ♪ - ♪ No sliced ham ♪ 640 00:21:25,826 --> 00:21:29,204 - ♪ Or baloney ♪ - ♪ Don't want no ham or more baloney ♪ 641 00:21:29,204 --> 00:21:31,957 {\an8}♪ Sure hope he finds more pepperoni. ♪