1
00:00:02,627 --> 00:00:04,170
So, everyone enjoying the dinner
2
00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:06,047
{\an8}your father and I
nicely made you?
3
00:00:06,047 --> 00:00:08,133
{\an8}Don't be afraid
to shout out compliments.
4
00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:09,551
{\an8}Oh, sorry. It's really good.
5
00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:11,386
{\an8}- Thank you.
- It's chicken, right?
6
00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:13,138
{\an8}- Yes, Tina.
- I knew it.
7
00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:15,682
{\an8}Sorry, Mom, I'm just still
sort of reeling from school,
8
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,851
{\an8}Where my grape-flavored
finger pop-pet
9
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,519
{\an8}was cruelly taken from me!
10
00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:21,646
{\an8}Yeah, you've mentioned
the finger candy thing.
11
00:00:21,646 --> 00:00:23,023
{\an8}Finger pop-pet!
12
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,983
{\an8}Whoops. Hey.
13
00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:27,444
{\an8}- No candy in class.
- But I wasn't eating it.
14
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:28,737
{\an8}Then why does it look
half-eaten?
15
00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:30,822
{\an8}Because I've been savoring it,
16
00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:32,240
{\an8}slowly and responsibly.
17
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:34,492
{\an8}Well, I'm gonna savor
doing this.
18
00:00:34,492 --> 00:00:36,161
{\an8}No, no, no, no, no, no!
Not the trash, no...
19
00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:38,580
{\an8}And that's why grown-ups
are monsters.
20
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:41,583
{\an8}Okay. Uh, sorry
about that, Louise,
21
00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:44,919
{\an8}but, uh, kids,
we wanted to talk to you
22
00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:46,588
{\an8}- about something.
- Right.
23
00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:48,965
{\an8}Are we all getting
matching jumpsuits finally?
24
00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:50,050
{\an8}No.
25
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,801
{\an8}So, uh, starting tomorrow,
26
00:00:51,801 --> 00:00:54,888
{\an8}your father and I
thought it would be good
27
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:58,266
{\an8}and also re-really fun
to do chores.
28
00:00:58,266 --> 00:01:00,060
{\an8}- Chores?
- Didn't we try those before
29
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,103
{\an8}and we were all like, "Nah"?
30
00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:03,605
{\an8}Uh, we're-we're gonna
try it again.
31
00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:05,440
{\an8}Yep, you're gonna
clean the bathroom,
32
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:08,443
{\an8}vacuum the floors,
dust... stuff.
33
00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:10,862
{\an8}Um, are we getting a raise
in our very meager allowance
34
00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:12,489
{\an8}because of these
so-called chores?
35
00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:14,449
{\an8}Yeah! I mean, yeah.
36
00:01:14,449 --> 00:01:16,284
{\an8}No. I think the reward
37
00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:18,495
{\an8}is that you are contributing
to this family.
38
00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:20,955
{\an8}And learning that
it's important to pitch in
39
00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:23,541
{\an8}in society and stuff like that.
40
00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:25,543
{\an8}You know, we do work
in the restaurant.
41
00:01:25,543 --> 00:01:27,170
{\an8}Every day. For free.
42
00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:29,589
Not that any of us have called
child welfare or anything.
43
00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:30,799
Except for that one time.
44
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:32,300
I didn't love that you did that.
45
00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:33,718
But the guy we talked to
was nice.
46
00:01:33,718 --> 00:01:35,804
Oh, yeah. Todd. What's he up to?
47
00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:38,264
Where is all this chore stuff
coming from, anyway?
48
00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:40,350
- NPR?
- Well, if you must know,
49
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:43,103
I was talking to Grandma Gloria
the other day
50
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:45,188
and she reminded me
that they made me and Gayle
51
00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:47,482
do chores every weekend
when we were growing up.
52
00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:49,609
And she thought we should
be doing it with you kids.
53
00:01:49,609 --> 00:01:51,319
She actually thought
we already were,
54
00:01:51,319 --> 00:01:53,113
and I said we tried,
but it didn't really stick
55
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,781
and then she made
that "hmph" sound.
56
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:56,199
Ugh, Grandma Gloria.
57
00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:58,034
No huggies from Genie
for a year.
58
00:01:58,034 --> 00:02:01,788
All right. Well, what if
we refuse to do these chores?
59
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,748
- Yeah.
- Respectfully?
60
00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:06,751
Okay, well, then,
I would respectfully say
61
00:02:06,751 --> 00:02:08,461
you don't have a choice.
62
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:10,672
- Right, Bob?
- Uh, uh, right.
63
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,841
Well, then,
we're going to respectfully
64
00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:14,425
stop eating our vegetables.
65
00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:16,594
Gene, Tina? Want to stop
eating your broccoli?
66
00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:17,804
But I like broccoli.
67
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,180
- Tina!
- Right, sorry.
68
00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:20,890
Well, then, you are respectfully
69
00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:22,142
not getting any dessert.
70
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,686
- Damn it!
- Okay, then we are respectfully
71
00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:26,813
- not doing our homework.
- Ooh.
72
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,439
You're gonna play
this game with Mama?
73
00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:29,858
Oh, yeah.
74
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,609
Oh, good.
75
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,114
But Lin, "no TV"
76
00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:39,200
- means we don't get to watch TV.
- Show no weakness.
77
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:40,618
- They're gonna crack.
- What if they don't crack?
78
00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:42,120
I'm worried
they're not cracking.
79
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,454
LOUISE Mm-mmm. Nope.
80
00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:44,664
Not brushing them.
81
00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:46,291
Mm.
- And if we get painful cavities,
82
00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:49,169
- we'll be the ones laughing.
- Yeah. Wait.
83
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,628
Okay, early bedtime,
84
00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:52,964
in your room, lights out, now.
85
00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:55,049
- Nuh-uh. Not going to bed.
- Until we get tired.
86
00:02:55,049 --> 00:02:56,301
- Yeah.
- Guys.
87
00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:58,011
- I mean, never.
- Right.
88
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,305
- Okay, then, no...
- What?
89
00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:01,764
- No...
- You got nothing.
90
00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:04,017
No, no Christmas ever again!
91
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:07,061
Uh, Linda, want to have
a quick chat?
92
00:03:07,061 --> 00:03:09,439
I feel like it's not going well.
93
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:11,232
What-what if I go buy
a bag of candy
94
00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:12,650
and we give them candy
95
00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:14,277
- if they do the chores?
- No, Bob.
96
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:15,820
They should do chores
'cause we told them to
97
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:17,447
and 'cause it'll make them
better people in society
98
00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,365
and all that crap,
not to get candy.
99
00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:21,659
I mean, what if they turn
into little delinquents
100
00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:25,038
who won't listen to authority
and it-it ruins their lives?
101
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,290
Then we'll just pretend
we don't know them?
102
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:28,416
Hmm. Maybe.
103
00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:29,918
Well, the kids
have to go to bed.
104
00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:32,587
So, we need a cease-fire,
I think.
105
00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:34,923
Okay, fine. You're right.
106
00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:36,549
Eh, we'll-we'll put a pin
in the chores thing
107
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:38,551
and figure out a way
to make them do them tomorrow.
108
00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:39,969
Blackmail, maybe?
109
00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:41,512
Have you been writing
stuff down? I haven't.
110
00:03:41,512 --> 00:03:43,306
Kids.
111
00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:45,016
Come in here. Come on.
112
00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:47,143
- Okay.
- Hmm.
113
00:03:47,143 --> 00:03:49,562
I'm sorry about
that "no Christmas" thing.
114
00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:51,439
Come on. Come up
in the bed with Mama.
115
00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:53,316
- Come on.
- Are you gonna kill us?
116
00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:54,609
No.
117
00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:57,237
Let's, uh, revisit
the chores thing later.
118
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,530
Why don't we all
just relax, huh?
119
00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:01,866
So tired, right?
120
00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:04,118
- No.
- Yes. Should we sing a nice song
121
00:04:04,118 --> 00:04:06,955
or tell a bedtime story? Huh?
122
00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:08,748
A bedtime story?
Like you guys used to do?
123
00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:11,042
- Back when we were children?
- Oh, yeah, Dad,
124
00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:14,212
you used to tell that story
about Pepperoni the Sleepy Pony.
125
00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:16,422
- Oh, right.
- Aw, Pepperoni.
126
00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:19,175
Roaming the plains, looking
for a nice place to sleep.
127
00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:20,885
And a little pepperoni.
Aren't we all?
128
00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:22,428
Tell that story, Bob.
129
00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:25,014
Okay. Um, I think I remember it.
130
00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:27,684
- But maybe he's not sleepy.
- And maybe he's really buff?
131
00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:30,561
But also super humble.
About how buff he is.
132
00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:32,480
But he's still into pepperoni.
133
00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,232
Uh, okay, so,
134
00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:37,485
Pepperoni the super buff pony
wanders around,
135
00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:40,405
looking for a place
to, um, not sleep.
136
00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:42,615
And he ends up in a town.
137
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,826
It was a small mining town
138
00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:48,037
called W-Western-ville.
Oh, that's good.
139
00:04:48,037 --> 00:04:49,372
And there were three siblings
that lived there,
140
00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:51,332
the Belch-earps.
141
00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:53,167
The-the Bearps.
142
00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:54,460
And they operated
the town's tavern.
143
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:55,795
The youngest ran the bar
144
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,213
and the gambling side
of things...
145
00:04:57,213 --> 00:04:59,007
Oh, and give me giant boots
146
00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:00,633
with huge spurs on the back.
147
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:03,553
And the front.
Uh, okay, sure.
148
00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:05,430
A-And the middle one
ran the entertainment.
149
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:06,889
And I have one of those
player pianos.
150
00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:08,391
But I can carry it around.
151
00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:10,643
You carry around a player piano?
152
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:12,770
- Yeah, because it's cutting-edge.
- All right.
153
00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:15,565
Uh, and the oldest
runs the hotel and stables.
154
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:17,650
Well, more of a horse hotel
that also has rooms for people.
155
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:18,901
Right this way, sir.
156
00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:20,653
It's classy.
157
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:23,740
And, uh, maybe there's some
nice sheriffs in this town.
158
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,950
M-Married sheriffs.
Uh, okay.
159
00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:28,411
Yeah, and they're really great,
but the townspeople
160
00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:30,496
don't listen to the sheriffs
because the townspeople
161
00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:33,124
can be big pains in the butt sometimes.
162
00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:36,419
But I thought this was supposed
to be a relaxing bedtime story?
163
00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:38,713
- Yeah, so one of the sheriffs says...
- Yeah.
164
00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:40,506
Hey, Bearps,
maybe you could try and keep
165
00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:42,133
your area nice and clean today?
166
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:43,551
Hmm, let me think about that.
167
00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:45,094
Oh, and also...
168
00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:46,512
But I mean,
169
00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:49,849
maybe you could, you know,
sweep up all the glass?
170
00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:52,393
Um, I think I know
the gambling business, m'kay?
171
00:05:52,393 --> 00:05:55,063
It's read 'em and weep,
not read 'em and sweep.
172
00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:57,231
♪ And I'm not cleaning up
anything, either ♪
173
00:05:57,231 --> 00:06:00,109
♪ In the Wild, Wild West. ♪
174
00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:02,528
They wouldn't listen to anything
the married sheriffs said,
175
00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:03,946
who were actually a lot older
176
00:06:03,946 --> 00:06:05,990
and smarter
than the townspeople,
177
00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:07,867
but still good-looking
for their age.
178
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,243
But there was a reason
the townspeople
179
00:06:09,243 --> 00:06:11,371
didn't want to listen
to the married sheriffs.
180
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,997
- No, there wasn't.
- Yes, there was.
181
00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:14,916
- Because one night...
- Hey, you're not telling the story.
182
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,876
Because one night,
183
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:19,087
after they ordered
the townspeople to go to bed...
184
00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:21,214
Townspeople, go to bed. Yeah.
185
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,715
'Cause we're the boss.
- Yeah.
186
00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:23,883
And after all the old-timey
187
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:25,301
Old West lights were out,
188
00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:27,595
the married sheriffs
got on their horses
189
00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:29,430
and they rode off
into the night.
190
00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:31,224
But not everyone went to bed.
191
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,434
The three Bearps
followed the sheriffs.
192
00:06:33,434 --> 00:06:34,936
Attaboy, Pepperoni.
193
00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:37,480
Three riders on him and
he's not even breaking a sweat.
194
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,148
So buff.
195
00:06:39,148 --> 00:06:41,401
They tracked them to the mine
outside of town.
196
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:44,070
And there, they discovered
that the married sheriffs
197
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,239
were having a sneaky
nighttime meeting
198
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:50,660
with owner of the mine and
super rich guy Mr. Goldoeder.
199
00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:52,787
Hello. I was just
kissing my gold good night.
200
00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:55,540
So, how's the secret plan
to have those nitwit townspeople
201
00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:57,708
keep the place
nice and tidy going?
202
00:06:57,708 --> 00:07:00,962
So that Big G will be impressed
and want to buy the town,
203
00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:04,841
the mine and all this land,
and we get our big payout?
204
00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:07,635
Wait, what? No, the married
sheriffs are good guys.
205
00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:09,220
Yeah, that's what
they want you to think.
206
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:11,681
It turns out their intentions
were not so good.
207
00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:14,434
- In fact, they were bad.
- No.
208
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:17,395
And all to serve
their own greedy purposes.
209
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:18,855
No.
210
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,523
We got to get rid
of the married sheriffs.
211
00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:22,024
Yep.
The Merriffs?
212
00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:23,443
That what I call them.
213
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,902
Pepperoni likes it.
214
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:29,782
So, the plan--
the tidy townspeople plan--
215
00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:30,867
catch me up.
How's it going?
216
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:32,410
It's going really good.
217
00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:34,787
- It-It's not going good.
- It's not going good.
218
00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:36,122
Well, you two need to get tough.
219
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,582
Maybe make an example
of one of them.
220
00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:39,250
Blast 'em with your
bean blaster.
221
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:41,210
Like this. Pew!
222
00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:43,754
That's uh, the exact rock
I was aiming to hit.
223
00:07:43,754 --> 00:07:45,423
I should have,
uh, said that beforehand.
224
00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:46,841
Anyway, everything
has to be perfect
225
00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:48,759
for when Big G comes.
226
00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:50,845
She does not approve
of messy towns
227
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:52,722
or ill-behaved townspeople.
228
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,307
And if Big G doesn't approve,
229
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:55,892
then she's not gonna buy us out
230
00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:57,310
and we don't get the money,
231
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,395
which I know
we're all big fans of.
232
00:07:59,395 --> 00:08:01,689
Don't worry, we'll make sure
Big G is happy.
233
00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:03,399
What am I smelling?
234
00:08:03,399 --> 00:08:05,943
Oh, that's me.
I-I don't wash myself.
235
00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:07,695
That's...
Okay.
236
00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:09,155
So, the townspeople
had to figure out
237
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:12,158
how to get rid of the terrible,
greedy, smelly sheriffs.
238
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,202
What if I just
pop down to the pharmacy
239
00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:16,078
and ask for drugs
that put kids to sleep?
240
00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:18,498
Probably not. But maybe?
241
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,790
Anyway, the three siblings had
242
00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:21,501
a secret meeting of their own.
243
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,753
Okay, all the townspeople
chipped in.
244
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,838
We've got about
a thousand dollars here.
245
00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:28,674
Or we can offer you and your
horses a free, all expenses paid
246
00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:30,510
weekend here at the inn,
247
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,303
which includes drinks,
horse massages,
248
00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:34,180
our finest
pretty-clean chamber pots.
249
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,723
Your own personal entertainer.
250
00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:37,850
♪ Look at you,
using your chamber pot. ♪
251
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:39,352
I think we'll just
take the money.
252
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,561
But I like that song.
253
00:08:40,561 --> 00:08:42,772
So, how exactly does the whole
254
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:44,690
"taking someone and leaving them
in the middle of nowhere"
255
00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:45,775
business work?
256
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,443
Well, basically
we just take 'em
257
00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:49,237
and then we, uh, leave 'em
in the middle of nowhere.
258
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:50,321
Okay, then.
259
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:51,405
Yup, with no money,
260
00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:52,990
uncomfortable walking shoes,
261
00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:55,243
only, like, a super small
thing of sunscreen.
262
00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:56,327
No podcasts.
263
00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:57,662
Okay, but what if then,
264
00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:59,622
one of the leave-in-
the-middle-of-nowhere guys
265
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:00,790
starts asking some questions?
266
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:01,958
Are you sure you want to
267
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,125
get rid of the married sheriffs?
268
00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:04,835
I mean, uh I haven't
been here long,
269
00:09:04,835 --> 00:09:06,045
but they seem nice to me.
270
00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:07,797
And-and loving, I want to say?
271
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:10,216
Yeah, and wise. Like,
they've got all this wisdom
272
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:12,093
to pass on about life,
and the world...
273
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:13,177
Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh.
274
00:09:13,177 --> 00:09:14,679
They're forcing us to do chores.
275
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:15,763
Do what?
276
00:09:15,763 --> 00:09:17,431
No way. You guys seem like
277
00:09:17,431 --> 00:09:19,100
you work so hard all the time.
278
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,434
And you're delightful.
279
00:09:20,434 --> 00:09:22,353
- I know.
- Well, I'm gonna enjoy
280
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:23,604
leaving them
in the middle of nowhere.
281
00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:25,815
And maybe only one
bathroom break on the way,
282
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,441
and then, after that,
we'll be like,
283
00:09:27,441 --> 00:09:29,193
-"You got to hold it."
- Yeah.
284
00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:31,279
But if we have to go,
we still stop.
285
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:32,738
I-I have a small bladder.
286
00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:34,115
But a big heart.
287
00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:37,326
LINDA
Married Sheriff Bob,
288
00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:38,995
I think something weird
might be going on.
289
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:41,038
Why, 'cause some strangers
threw us on a horse
290
00:09:41,038 --> 00:09:42,790
- and put a blanket over us?
- Yeah.
291
00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:44,500
I'm beginning to think
maybe this isn't
292
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,961
about a surprise
birthday party for us at all.
293
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:49,630
I mean, for one thing, it's not
anywhere close to our birthdays.
294
00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:50,756
Yeah. Come to think of it,
295
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:52,300
I was actually the one who said
296
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,010
"Is this, like, a surprise
birthday party thing?"
297
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,720
And they said "Sure, whatever."
298
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,096
Ooh, that's bright.
299
00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:58,889
- Where are we?
- The middle of nowhere.
300
00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:01,183
- What town is that near?
- None. This is your stop.
301
00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:02,268
- Aah!
- Aah!
302
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:05,688
Can we have our bean blasters
back? No reason. Also,
303
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:08,274
can you maybe give us
your bean blasters? No reason.
304
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:09,358
Nope.
Fair enough.
305
00:10:09,358 --> 00:10:10,526
And don't you start
pleading with us
306
00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:12,153
not to leave you here
'cause we don't feel
307
00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:13,779
emotionally compromised
about this at all.
308
00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:15,948
Uh, please don't leave us here?
309
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,491
- Dang it!
- Please!
310
00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:18,909
I'm not wearing
the right bra for this.
311
00:10:18,909 --> 00:10:20,411
Sorry. Best of luck.
312
00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:22,997
Are they still looking at us?
313
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:25,374
Uh, let me check. Yeah.
314
00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:26,751
Do they look PO'd?
315
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,252
Pretty-pretty PO'd.
316
00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:29,754
How about now?
317
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:32,673
- Hmm. Look still pretty upset.
- Aw, man.
318
00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:33,924
Hey, cheer up. Let's go get you
319
00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:35,926
a western omelet. Okay.
320
00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:37,845
So the married sheriffs
got what they deserved.
321
00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:39,430
The end. What a great story.
322
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:41,390
I mean the structure's
a little all over the place...
323
00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:44,268
Up, bup, bup. That's not the end.
No, no, no. You know why?
324
00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:45,770
Because nobody's kissed yet?
325
00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:47,980
Because the married sheriffs
didn't give up.
326
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:50,191
They weren't gonna let
those punky townspeople win.
327
00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,109
Not that it was about
winning or losing.
328
00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:54,695
No, it was.
So, they started walking.
329
00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:57,573
And they kept on walking.
330
00:10:57,573 --> 00:10:59,909
And sure, there were
some piggy back rides.
331
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,160
And then they switched.
332
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,454
Uh, yup. And-and they,
333
00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:04,705
uh, fought wolves.
334
00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:06,415
They danced with wolves,
335
00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:08,376
and they fought more wolves
because those wolves
336
00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:11,212
didn't like the fact that they
danced with those other wolves.
337
00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:13,464
Anyway, it was all
to get back to the townspeople
338
00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:15,049
to help them
and watch over them.
339
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:18,135
Oh, no, the townspeople
are having an amazing time
340
00:11:18,135 --> 00:11:20,137
and just totally
taking care of themselves.
341
00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:22,682
♪ ♪
342
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,725
Yeah!
343
00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:26,977
Well, that's because they
didn't know what was coming.
344
00:11:26,977 --> 00:11:29,480
It was trouble.
Real bad trouble.
345
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:30,940
The bad kind.
346
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:33,150
You naughty little nincompoops.
347
00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:35,653
You couldn't just do what you
were told, could you?
348
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:38,280
Big G is gonna
change this whole place.
349
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:39,699
You could have been part of it.
350
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:42,284
A wonderful, new,
civilized society.
351
00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:44,620
The well-mannered West,
she's gonna call it.
352
00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:46,372
And also,
I'm gonna get even richer,
353
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,582
which will be pretty cool.
354
00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:50,751
So, what's it gonna be?
You leave town
355
00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:53,129
or my miner minions and I
356
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:55,005
fill you full of beans.
357
00:11:55,005 --> 00:11:56,215
In a bad way?
358
00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:57,967
In a very bad way.
359
00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,468
- Linda.
- What? Too harsh?
360
00:11:59,468 --> 00:12:00,636
It's a western.
361
00:12:00,636 --> 00:12:01,887
Don't you make me
scared of beans, woman!
362
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:08,561
{\an8}So, the townspeople--
who could have avoided all this
363
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,229
by just listening
to the sheriffs
364
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:11,522
and cleaning up the place,
365
00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:14,233
but no--
now they were staring down
366
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:16,902
the bean blaster barrels
of Mr. Goldoeder
367
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:19,905
and his miner minions.
It was a standoff.
368
00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:21,866
They were so standoffish. Sorry.
369
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:23,743
Standoff music.
370
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:41,385
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
371
00:12:41,385 --> 00:12:43,012
- Whoa!
- Stop, stop, stop.
372
00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:44,096
We're here to protect you.
373
00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:45,681
Who? Me? That's nice.
374
00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:47,433
- No, them.
- Oh, boo.
375
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,059
Also, water would be great.
376
00:12:49,059 --> 00:12:50,644
Anyone have water?
377
00:12:50,644 --> 00:12:51,729
Uh, I-I'll ask later.
378
00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:52,813
Wait, wait, wait.
379
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:53,898
Why should we trust you?
380
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:55,399
- Because.
- Because why?
381
00:12:55,399 --> 00:12:58,152
Because we're the sheriffs
and it's our job to protect you.
382
00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:00,154
But how do we know you're
not just out for yourself,
383
00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:02,656
working with Goldoeder
to get your big payday
384
00:13:02,656 --> 00:13:03,824
by impressing Big G?
385
00:13:03,824 --> 00:13:05,493
Okay, yeah, maybe we wanted
386
00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:07,912
to impress Big G a little bit.
So sue us.
387
00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:09,330
Not that this town has a lawyer.
388
00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:10,998
- I'm a lawyer.
- Oh, you are?
389
00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:13,125
Yup. Personal injury, mostly.
390
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:15,044
- Oh, uh, great.
- A little tax law.
391
00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:16,337
- Okay, yeah, I got it.
- Yup.
392
00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:17,755
Anyway, what if doing chores
393
00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:19,381
was actually good for you?
394
00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:21,592
Huh? Did you ever think
about that, you punks?
395
00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:22,885
That-that we love.
396
00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:25,513
Maybe making you do chores
is protecting you.
397
00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:27,431
From being delinquents. Ugh!
398
00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:29,600
- Why didn't you just listen to us?
- Now!
399
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:32,561
- Aah!
- Huh?
400
00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:35,773
Hey! See? That's what happens
when we listen to you--
401
00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:38,442
we get all distracted and
we get our bean blasters stolen.
402
00:13:38,442 --> 00:13:40,528
Damn it! Mine tied
my whole outfit together.
403
00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:42,571
But then Married
Sheriff Linda said...
404
00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:45,032
Well, you can't bean blast
all of us, Goldoeder.
405
00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:47,284
For one thing,
it would be a big beany mess,
406
00:13:47,284 --> 00:13:49,119
and you know Big G
doesn't like messes.
407
00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:50,412
That's true. Dang it.
408
00:13:50,412 --> 00:13:51,497
But then he had an idea.
409
00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:53,666
I have an idea.
Let's have some fun.
410
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:54,750
- Yay!
- Yay!
411
00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:56,418
Bearps? Married sheriffs?
412
00:13:56,418 --> 00:13:58,128
How about a quick draw contest?
413
00:13:58,128 --> 00:14:01,006
Each round is two people,
two beans. Best shot wins.
414
00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:02,550
And the winner
of the whole thing
415
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:05,219
gets to decide
who stays and who goes.
416
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:06,846
Oh, and also, I'm entering
417
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,681
and I'm an amazing shot.
418
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:09,932
Pew!
419
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:13,435
Yup, that's... the one
I was trying to hit.
420
00:14:13,435 --> 00:14:15,271
And I did.
421
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:16,856
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
the sheriffs would not
422
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,108
get into a quick draw contest
with their own people.
423
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:21,735
Also, Louise,
this sounds a lot like
424
00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:23,195
the movie
The Quick and the Dead.
425
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:25,281
Which came first,
the movie or this story?
426
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:26,907
Uh, the movie.
427
00:14:26,907 --> 00:14:28,158
So, is it like a rom-com, or...
428
00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:29,660
Have you seen that
movie, Louise?
429
00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,996
Only, like, the parts
they showed on TV.
430
00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:33,581
While you were
asleep on the couch,
431
00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:35,124
when I watched the whole movie.
432
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:36,834
Anyway, of course
the sheriffs would do it
433
00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,794
because, deep down,
they knew it was the only way
434
00:14:38,794 --> 00:14:40,546
to prove who's boss
of this town.
435
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,172
- No, I don't think so.
- She's right.
436
00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:43,799
- What?
- They got to do the bean blaster
437
00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:45,551
competition thingy
to show who's boss.
438
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:46,886
And Sheriff Bob
and Sheriff Linda
439
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:47,970
somehow both win, the end.
440
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,430
Dut, ba, dut-dut-dut-dut!
441
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:51,140
So, the contest began.
442
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:54,184
First up, Married Sheriff Bob
vs. Louise.
443
00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:56,353
And please enjoy my tiny hat.
444
00:14:56,353 --> 00:14:57,688
A baby gave it to me.
445
00:14:57,688 --> 00:15:00,232
Just kidding, I had it made.
By a baby.
446
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,195
You're going down.
447
00:15:05,195 --> 00:15:07,573
Uh, can I go against
someone else?
448
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:10,117
Maybe someone, uh,
less i-intimidating?
449
00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:11,201
Maybe the lawyer?
450
00:15:11,201 --> 00:15:12,578
- Hey.
- Nope.
451
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:14,413
Okay, I-I just...
452
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:18,667
My butt's out, isn't it?
453
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:20,377
- It is.
- Disgusting!
454
00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:21,795
Well, that's not fair.
455
00:15:21,795 --> 00:15:23,839
Also, Louise, why would
my butt flap be open?
456
00:15:23,839 --> 00:15:25,215
Wouldn't it be closed?
457
00:15:25,215 --> 00:15:26,967
Oh, they don't invent
closing butt flaps
458
00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:28,093
for another 50 years.
459
00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:29,470
Everybody, just listen.
460
00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:30,596
Mom, I didn't
get to the part
461
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:31,972
where you shoot Gene's belt off
462
00:15:31,972 --> 00:15:33,724
- and his butt is hanging out.
- Nice.
463
00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:37,519
Why?! Why?! No!
464
00:15:37,519 --> 00:15:39,229
Ashes to ashes.
465
00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:40,731
Butt to butt.
466
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:42,983
Wait. Did I die?
467
00:15:42,983 --> 00:15:44,401
No, you were just
being dramatic.
468
00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:45,819
Got it. Continue.
469
00:15:45,819 --> 00:15:47,196
How did I do, Louise?
Pretty good?
470
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,074
Get ready for me to,
471
00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:51,742
um, shoot you with...
472
00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:53,494
Oh, you won.
473
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:54,578
So, not great.
474
00:15:54,578 --> 00:15:55,663
Then it was time
475
00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:56,872
to find out who would face off
476
00:15:56,872 --> 00:15:58,499
with Goldoeder
in the final round.
477
00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:00,000
And that's
when Goldoeder decided
478
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,710
to make it more interesting.
479
00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:03,170
Let's make it more interesting.
480
00:16:03,170 --> 00:16:04,505
Now that we're down
to the real-deal
481
00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:06,173
head honchos around here,
482
00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:08,676
why don't we switch to
the real-deal bean.
483
00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:09,927
Lima.
484
00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:12,554
You can't be serious.
485
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,851
But lima beans are huge.
And they hurt like hell.
486
00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:19,478
And they taste okay at best.
487
00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:21,605
I mean, if you sauté them
with a little butter...
488
00:16:21,605 --> 00:16:22,690
- Bob, shush.
- Dad, shh.
489
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,566
- Sorry.
- And Married Sheriff Linda said:
490
00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:27,444
I can't believe you're about
to blast me with a lima bean.
491
00:16:27,444 --> 00:16:28,696
And Louise said:
492
00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:30,322
I can't believe you're about to
493
00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:31,407
blast me with a lima bean.
494
00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:34,076
Just do the frickin' chores.
495
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:36,161
No frickin' way.
496
00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:39,748
Aah! Why can't you just do
something when I ask you to?
497
00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:42,459
I'm in charge and I know
what's best for you.
498
00:16:42,459 --> 00:16:44,753
It's like you don't
respect me at all,
499
00:16:44,753 --> 00:16:47,214
even though everything I do,
I do it for you.
500
00:16:47,214 --> 00:16:48,799
Okay, Bryan Adams.
501
00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:50,175
Sorry. Not doing them.
502
00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:53,429
Ugh! It's so frustrating!
503
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:55,055
You know what?
Forget it.
504
00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:57,349
Forget everything, I don't care.
I don't care what you do.
505
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:02,438
Are you crying?
During a quick draw competition?
506
00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:04,148
No, I'm fine.
507
00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:07,276
Just, I'm in charge
and I'm fine. I'm fine.
508
00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:09,236
Uh-oh. Uh, hey, everyone,
509
00:17:09,236 --> 00:17:12,072
uh, look at, uh,
Pepperoni the Pony.
510
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:16,452
- So hot.
- It's not all about you, Pepperoni.
511
00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:17,995
It's not...
512
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:20,664
Uh, do I... win?
513
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:26,545
Is Mom okay? I'm only asking
514
00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:28,213
'cause she ran out
of the room crying.
515
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:29,798
Maybe it's part of her
nightly beauty regimen
516
00:17:29,798 --> 00:17:31,258
that we just aren't aware of.
517
00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:32,509
If it works, it works.
518
00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:34,219
I'm gonna, uh, go talk to her.
519
00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:35,679
Or maybe I go?
520
00:17:35,679 --> 00:17:37,848
Oh. Uh, okay.
521
00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:41,393
So, anybody have
any fun weekend plans?
522
00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:42,519
- No.
- Okay.
523
00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:44,480
Uh, Mom?
524
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,815
Hi. I'm fine.
525
00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:48,233
I just needed to fart,
526
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:50,235
so I ran out here to fart.
527
00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:52,404
And I'm-I'm not crying,
528
00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,990
even though it's really cool
for moms to get angry
529
00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:56,992
and frustrated and cry
in front of their kids.
530
00:17:56,992 --> 00:17:59,453
I'm sorry I made you not cry.
531
00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:00,913
Now I feel like a jerk.
532
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,539
I just... It's not easy
533
00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:03,874
having someone bigger than you
534
00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:05,584
telling you what to do
all the time.
535
00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:07,086
And then that thing at school,
536
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,797
Labonz taking my beautiful
finger pop-pet.
537
00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:12,424
You, uh, you caught me
at a bad time.
538
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:14,051
I know, I know.
539
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:16,386
But I just had that
phone call with Grandma
540
00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:18,722
and her whole chores spiel
got in my head.
541
00:18:18,722 --> 00:18:20,474
So let's call it
all Grandma's fault.
542
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:22,059
No, we love Grandma.
543
00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:23,185
But, yes, sort of.
544
00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:24,645
Also, I mean, one of our chores
545
00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:26,355
was to light Grandpa's cigars.
546
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,190
Like, in our mouths, so...
547
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:29,650
I can still taste it.
548
00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:31,193
So, maybe she's not
mother of the year.
549
00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:32,319
Well, now she sounds great.
550
00:18:32,319 --> 00:18:33,862
It's just, you know...
551
00:18:33,862 --> 00:18:35,656
It's been so much pressure
552
00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:38,408
trying to raise good kids.
Good humans.
553
00:18:38,408 --> 00:18:40,619
It can mess you up.
And then I get mad at you guys,
554
00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:42,121
but you're just being kids.
555
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,664
It's-it's just...
556
00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:44,957
You know, it's just a lot.
557
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,209
Mostly 'cause of Tina, right?
And Gene?
558
00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:48,710
Come here, you.
559
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:51,171
You know, I'm glad
you're so spunky.
560
00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:52,589
It'll be good for you
when you're older.
561
00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:54,842
Nobody's gonna
push my Louise around.
562
00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:56,885
You'll be the toughest little
cutie in prison.
563
00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:58,345
- Thanks, Mom.
- And I'm still gonna try
564
00:18:58,345 --> 00:18:59,930
- to make you do chores.
- Mmm, never.
565
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,640
- What if I give you candy?
- Deal.
566
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,100
Maybe some of those
finger blasters?
567
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:04,184
Finger pop-pets.
568
00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:05,602
The candy thing was my idea.
569
00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:07,229
I'd clean the crap out
of this place for some candy.
570
00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:09,231
As usual, candy
solves everything.
571
00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:10,607
Now can we go back
to Mom and Dad's bed
572
00:19:10,607 --> 00:19:12,609
and finish the story?
I need to know
573
00:19:12,609 --> 00:19:14,111
what happens to that
intriguing piano player.
574
00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:15,988
Does he ever play Coachella?
575
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,823
Oh, hurry it up already.
576
00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:19,199
I need to go home
and wash these miners
577
00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:21,618
before tomorrow.
They're filthy.
578
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:25,539
What the...
579
00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:27,541
Yeah, we're on
the same side now.
580
00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:28,792
Yeah, deal with it.
581
00:19:28,792 --> 00:19:30,294
- Yay!
- Same sidesies!
582
00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:32,254
Oh, whatever.
I'll just bean you both.
583
00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:33,964
Could you stand just
next to each other?
584
00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:35,507
And-and also stand closer to me?
585
00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:37,092
What is going on?
586
00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:39,136
Oh, Big G.
When did you get here?
587
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:40,262
Just now.
588
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,389
I took a coach
from the train station.
589
00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:45,434
The driver was
very rough with my bags,
590
00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:47,978
and his horses
were way too loud.
591
00:19:47,978 --> 00:19:49,980
Oh, sorry to hear that.
592
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:51,773
Well, everything's fine, Big G.
593
00:19:51,773 --> 00:19:54,776
Just gonna get rid of all these
naughty townspeople real quick
594
00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:56,028
and then I can take you
595
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:58,280
on a fun tour.
FYI, the married sheriffs
596
00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,865
are not cool anymore.
597
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:03,827
Ech. Is nobody doing
any chores around here?
598
00:20:03,827 --> 00:20:05,621
I do not approve.
599
00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:08,832
Well, guess what? That's fine.
You don't have to approve of it.
600
00:20:08,832 --> 00:20:10,792
Yeah. Agree to disapprove.
601
00:20:10,792 --> 00:20:13,420
This is our town.
These are our people.
602
00:20:13,420 --> 00:20:15,923
And that tart, onion-y odor
is our smell.
603
00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:18,133
And sure, us sheriffs
may not always do
604
00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:20,802
what we're supposed to do,
but we do what we need to do.
605
00:20:20,802 --> 00:20:22,137
For the good of this town.
606
00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:23,680
And I'm gonna
be a better sheriff
607
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,140
if I listen to my gut,
608
00:20:25,140 --> 00:20:27,976
and not someone else's gut
who doesn't even live here.
609
00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:30,854
And right now,
my gut is telling me
610
00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:32,606
back off, Big G.
611
00:20:33,106 --> 00:20:34,107
Aah!
612
00:20:34,107 --> 00:20:35,567
Wait, there's a canon?
613
00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:37,277
And I ride it, somehow?
614
00:20:37,277 --> 00:20:38,487
Yeah, a bean canon.
615
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:40,364
And it's rolling on its own?
616
00:20:40,364 --> 00:20:41,490
Well, that's how some canons
617
00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:42,908
worked back then,
I'm pretty sure.
618
00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:43,992
Psst, hey.
619
00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:45,077
Should we move them?
620
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,578
No, they look so sweet.
621
00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:47,996
We can all fit, right?
622
00:20:47,996 --> 00:20:50,624
Yep. Half my body
is probably fine just floating.
623
00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:53,418
Wait, you forgot something.
624
00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:54,878
- Yeah.
- Oh, right.
625
00:20:57,381 --> 00:20:59,591
This is some good pepperoni.
626
00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:03,720
♪ Ah, Pepperoni
roamin' the plains ♪
627
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,932
♪ Yes, sir,
he's one handsome pony ♪
628
00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:08,475
♪ One handsome pony ♪
629
00:21:08,475 --> 00:21:11,645
♪ Looks like
he found some pepperoni ♪
630
00:21:11,645 --> 00:21:14,064
♪ He's super buff
and super humble ♪
631
00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:17,484
♪ The only thing hotter than
his muscles are his morals ♪
632
00:21:17,484 --> 00:21:19,236
♪ He's got hard morals ♪
633
00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:22,489
♪ Go on and look at him
flexing his pectorals ♪
634
00:21:22,489 --> 00:21:25,826
- ♪ Ah, come on, Pepperoni ♪
- ♪ No sliced ham ♪
635
00:21:25,826 --> 00:21:29,204
- ♪ Or baloney ♪
- ♪ Don't want no ham or more baloney ♪
636
00:21:29,204 --> 00:21:31,957
{\an8}♪ Sure hope he finds
more pepperoni. ♪