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♪ ♪
2
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-Hi.
-Hey, Tina.
How was Thundergirls?
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(groans loudly)
4
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-So... good?
-No!
5
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My future is ruined!
I did Thundergirls all wrong!
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I'm a Thundergirl disgrace!
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A "BlunderGirl"? Sorry.
8
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-(toilet flushing)
-What happened?
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I was in the bathroom
and I heard yelling.
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How come there's
always someone yelling
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when I'm trying
to use the bathroom?
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Family tradition?
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I'm just upset because
my future is a sick joke
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and it's all my fault.
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Okay, tell me about it, Tina.
Tell Mama.
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I'm just gonna casually zip up
my fly while you're talking.
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-Go ahead, sweetie.
-(zipper closes)
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Tonight at Thundergirls,
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after we made some pretty
badass bookmarks,
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we were all heading out
the door to go home
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when Troop Leader Ginny said
she wanted to talk to me.
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Tina, hey. I've been
meaning to talk to you.
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Have you given any thought
to pursuing your Lightning Sash?
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Oh, I mean,
the Lightning Sash is
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the highest sash
in Thundergirls.
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-You need a lot of
badges to earn that.
-Correct.
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So, I figured getting it
would be... hard?
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It is! But so worth it.
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Colleges look at
the Lightning Sash.
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NASA likes the Lightning Sash
on a résumé.
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So do Fortune 500 companies.
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I know what, um, those are...
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The top 500
fortune cookie companies?
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If I were you, I'd get on it.
Look, you're one of our more...
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-seasoned Thundergirls.
-Thank you?
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But for someone so seasoned,
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you are way behind
on your badge count.
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Course I was too at your age.
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But you buckled down
and got your Lightning Sash?
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I did not.
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And I regret it
every day of my damn life.
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Sorry for swearing,
a Thundergirl never swears.
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Good story.
Especially the profanity.
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I was mostly distracted
by Mom's fly.
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Yeah, you did not
do a great job, Lin.
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Okay, okay, there.
It's all the way up.
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-(chuckles) It-It's not.
-Oh.
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What the hell's going on
with these pants?
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Anyway, keep talking, Tina.
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So, you want to get this
Lightning Sash thing?
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Now I do. (groans)
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I-I've just been having fun
at Thundergirls when
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I should have been thinking
about how it could mold
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-my whole entire future.
-That's what you get
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for being such a party animal.
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Wait, so how many badges
do you need
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-for your Lightning Sash?
-25.
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And how many do you have?
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Six. Including the badge you get
just for joining Thundergirls.
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The joiner badge.
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Aw, my little
Jackie Joyner-Kersee.
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And you've been
a Thundergirl forever,
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so at this rate,
by the time you get 25 badges,
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you'll be...
a million years old?
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Oh, no! That's too old.
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Tina, listen, you can
still get your lightning thingy.
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You're just gonna have to pick
up the pace a bit, you know?
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-You're right.
-Thattagirl!
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I'll earn a badge a day.
Starting tomorrow.
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A badge a day?
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Yep. The sooner I get it done,
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the sooner I can get
my out-of-control life
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back on track.
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-Oh, boy.
-Okay...
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Let's go alphabetically.
Archery badge.
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I can rip through that one
really fast.
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Yes, please, can we be
an archery family?
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Uh, I mean,
"ripping through archery"
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just sounds like a bad idea.
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Rapping through archery though,
that could be something.
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What rhymes with "archery"?
"Fart-chery"?
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Okay, how about, uh...
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bird-watching? That's easy.
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Oh, uh, you know, I dabbled
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in bird-watching once.
Well, by dabbled, I mean
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I bought a bird guide
and put it up on the shelf
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and looked up at it sometimes.
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That's great because
the Thundergirl Handbook says
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we'll need a bird guide.
And also binoculars.
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We used to have binoculars.
What happened to those?
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They're in my room.
I use them to spy on my feet
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while I lie in bed.
Where's my badge?
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Great. I'll go to the park
tomorrow to see some birds.
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Dad, bird-man?
You're coming with.
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Oh, uh, okay.
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I mean, I should stay at
the restaurant, but...
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bird-watching does
sound relaxing.
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Uh, you know, I've been
a little stressed lately.
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You mean, all the time
every day, all day long?
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-And when you sleep.
-Yeah, pretty much.
-TINA: Great.
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I'm gonna get my Lightning Sash
and have a good future
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and it's all gonna be fine.
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Oh, and Mom? Your fly is
somehow all the way down again.
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Oh, wow. Maybe this is
just how it is now
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and I'm gonna have
to buy cuter underwear.
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TINA:
All right, Dad.
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I'm looking at the time
and it's bird o'clock.
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Hey, Bob, aren't you kind of
afraid of birds?
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I was. But I realized they
aren't trying to kill me,
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and now I'm fine with them.
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If they don't get
too close to me.
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Like me with salads.
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Not to be rude, but did you hear
when I said it was bird o'clock?
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It's almost bird-thirty now,
so...
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Tina, easy. But okay, we can go.
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Bye! I'll be here
if you need me.
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Uh... I figured.
Linda, thanks for covering.
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You're welcome.
Say "hi" to the birds for me.
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Or flip 'em the bird. Ha!
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-Uh, okay.
-That'd be funny
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'cause they're also birds.
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So, how does this work exactly?
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I have to observe 15
different types of wild birds,
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identify them by name,
and write them down.
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Well, good thing
we have my bird book.
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For the identifying part.
Really glad I bought this...
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-(book creaks)
-so long ago.
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Did it make a noise
when you opened it?
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Yeah. Because it's
never been opened.
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Probably thought
it never would be.
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I bet some new birds
have come out
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since that was published.
(gasps) Look!
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-BOB: Oh, yeah.
-TINA: A black hopper bird.
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You-you mean... a crow?
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-Right. A crow. Sorry, I choked.
-That-That's okay.
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One bird type down.
14 types to go.
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"Crow."
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Uh... Yep, that was a crow.
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"American crow," technically.
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"Widespread. Numerous in cities.
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Of the genus Corvus..."
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-Got it, Dad.
-Yep.
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♪ ♪
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♪ Birds ♪
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♪ Bird ♪
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♪ Bird, bird ♪
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♪ Bird. ♪
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(groans)
Where's all the friggin' birds?
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I mean, we saw Bruce the goose,
150
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but then like
ten different crows.
151
00:05:02,404 --> 00:05:03,941
Or maybe the same crow
ten different times?
152
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Yeah, what is this,
a Counting Crows concert?
153
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-What?
-Nothing.
154
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TINA:
We're not on schedule here.
155
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BOB:
Didn't we also see a pigeon?
156
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Yeah. Plus that
little brown bird.
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What did we think that was?
158
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Sparrow, maybe?
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It was hard to get a clear ID.
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(groans) That's another thing:
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why do they have to
fly around so much?
162
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We need like 11 more species!
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Oh, look, a ranger.
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Is that a type of bird? Where?
165
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No, I-I mean, a park ranger.
166
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Who works here.
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TINA:
Oh. It's Ranger Matthew Dainko.
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Maybe he can point us to where
the cool bird hangouts are.
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He fricking better!
Sorry. I'll calm down.
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Uh, excuse me? Ranger Dainko?
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Can I help you?
172
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Maybe.
Um, I'm here working toward
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my Thundergirls Lightning Sash.
174
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Are you trying to earn
your trash clean-up badge?
175
00:05:41,349 --> 00:05:42,685
Oh, no. Sorry.
176
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Ah. Then I'll, uh... carry on.
177
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But-but actually I'm trying
to earn my birding badge?
178
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Oh! Well,
you came to the right place.
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It's like Grand Central Station
for birds around here,
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with all the species
passing through
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on their migration routes.
182
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I've seen common starlings,
house finches,
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cedar waxwings--
that's my spark bird.
184
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Your what?
185
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Spark bird,
186
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the bird that got me
interested in birding.
187
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A waxwing showed up outside
the ranger station
188
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one day when I was at a...
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vulnerable place
in my personal life.
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-What was wrong?
-Maybe we shouldn't
get into it.
191
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No, no, no, no, no, it's okay.
192
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I had just gotten
the worst haircut of my life.
193
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-Oh.
-I mean, this was here.
194
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Huh. That sounds awful.
195
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I stared at that waxwing
for half an hour.
196
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Just feeling my feelings,
you know?
197
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(crying): Uh-oh.
198
00:06:25,437 --> 00:06:26,907
Uh, are you okay?
199
00:06:27,007 --> 00:06:29,613
Eh, let's not talk about
waxwings. Or bad haircuts.
200
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Hey, say you wanted
to see a lot of different birds
201
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in a really, really short time.
202
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Really short time.
What would you do?
203
00:06:35,490 --> 00:06:38,029
Well, birding's
about being present.
204
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You know, slowing down.
205
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-Great.
-Some people come out here
206
00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:43,273
and just want it to happen fast,
so they pull out
207
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all sorts of dirty
little tricks.
208
00:06:45,210 --> 00:06:46,245
Go on...
209
00:06:46,345 --> 00:06:47,347
Well, you know,
210
00:06:47,447 --> 00:06:49,018
some people use
recorded bird calls.
211
00:06:49,084 --> 00:06:50,020
That's frowned upon.
212
00:06:50,086 --> 00:06:51,222
Oh, yeah. That's terrible.
213
00:06:51,289 --> 00:06:52,859
And then there's
the punks that bait.
214
00:06:52,926 --> 00:06:55,063
-They "bait"?
-Yeah, they put out
a bunch of food,
215
00:06:55,130 --> 00:06:56,533
then watch the birds roll in.
216
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:57,936
It's not sporting.
217
00:06:58,069 --> 00:07:00,574
And as everyone knows,
you don't feed wild animals.
218
00:07:00,641 --> 00:07:02,512
That's a big old no-no.
219
00:07:02,545 --> 00:07:03,847
Yeah, sure, totally. (chuckles)
220
00:07:03,948 --> 00:07:05,685
I see anyone doing that
in this park,
221
00:07:05,785 --> 00:07:07,287
I'm slapping them with a fine.
222
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Good to know, good to know,
good to know.
223
00:07:08,757 --> 00:07:10,293
Yeah. Thank you, Ranger Dainko.
224
00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,632
Uh, could you recommend
any specific spots
225
00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:14,468
that are good for bird-watching?
226
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'Cause where we've been
has been... not that.
227
00:07:17,407 --> 00:07:19,278
Well, you could
always try the meadow.
228
00:07:19,378 --> 00:07:21,182
You just follow that path,
go to the right,
229
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and then stay along
the wood line.
230
00:07:22,685 --> 00:07:24,254
-Anyway, happy birding.
-Thank you.
-Thanks.
231
00:07:24,355 --> 00:07:26,560
Okay, so now we know
what not to do.
232
00:07:26,660 --> 00:07:29,298
Uh-huh. Or do we know
what not not to do?
233
00:07:29,398 --> 00:07:30,501
Mm. Mm-mm.
234
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Would you say this is your
best bread for baiting birds?
235
00:07:32,471 --> 00:07:34,943
-What?
-We'll take it.
-Oh, my God.
236
00:07:38,951 --> 00:07:40,420
Tina, the ranger said
you shouldn't bait them.
237
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So, let's not do that
238
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and just use the bread for...
sandwiches?
239
00:07:44,729 --> 00:07:46,198
He'll never catch us, okay?
240
00:07:46,265 --> 00:07:47,535
We can say we're
having a picnic.
241
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A bread picnic.
242
00:07:48,871 --> 00:07:50,206
Also, how's your phone
reception here?
243
00:07:50,273 --> 00:07:52,010
Want to pull up some
bird calls from the Internet?
244
00:07:52,077 --> 00:07:53,313
Maybe a fun playlist?
245
00:07:53,379 --> 00:07:54,516
Tina, I really don't
want us to get caught
246
00:07:54,582 --> 00:07:55,818
and then have to pay a fine.
247
00:07:55,885 --> 00:07:57,822
Dad, I can either
get my Lightning Sash
248
00:07:57,889 --> 00:07:59,726
and do well in life
or not get it, and-and...
249
00:07:59,793 --> 00:08:01,697
never get into a good college
and never achieve my dreams!
250
00:08:01,763 --> 00:08:05,738
Okay, okay. I guess it will
just be feeding birds.
251
00:08:05,838 --> 00:08:07,174
People do that
all the time, right?
252
00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:09,612
Sure. And people also
just casually play bird calls
253
00:08:09,713 --> 00:08:10,948
from their phone.
254
00:08:11,015 --> 00:08:13,019
So that birds can hear
how great they sound.
255
00:08:13,086 --> 00:08:14,321
Could you cue 'em up?
256
00:08:14,421 --> 00:08:15,423
Uh... yep.
257
00:08:15,490 --> 00:08:17,361
LOUISE:
I'm just gonna say it...
258
00:08:17,427 --> 00:08:18,731
this day could be more fun.
259
00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:20,133
Shall I do a little dance?
260
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,304
You've already done
so many of those today.
261
00:08:22,371 --> 00:08:24,709
What if you
dare me to do something?
262
00:08:24,776 --> 00:08:26,345
Like, dare you to dream?
263
00:08:26,445 --> 00:08:29,485
No. What if you dare me to...
put this napkin
264
00:08:29,519 --> 00:08:31,222
on Teddy's shoulder
without him noticing?
265
00:08:31,288 --> 00:08:33,292
Ah, the old napkin shoulder.
Classic.
266
00:08:33,393 --> 00:08:36,365
Okay, you dared me to do it,
I'm doing it. I feel so alive.
267
00:08:36,399 --> 00:08:39,138
Teddy, old buddy, old pal.
How's tricks?
268
00:08:39,238 --> 00:08:40,908
Oh, hey, Louise. I'm doing good.
269
00:08:40,975 --> 00:08:42,477
A little anxious.
Might be all the coffee.
270
00:08:42,578 --> 00:08:43,914
I think I might need
some more coffee
271
00:08:44,014 --> 00:08:45,450
just to kind of push past it,
you know?
272
00:08:45,518 --> 00:08:47,287
Get to that place where
nothing matters anymore.
273
00:08:47,354 --> 00:08:49,224
Great.
Well, keep up the good work.
274
00:08:49,291 --> 00:08:50,360
More coffee, Teddy?
275
00:08:50,460 --> 00:08:52,698
You betcha, yes, please.
Toot-toot!
276
00:08:52,799 --> 00:08:54,502
Or decaf, we have decaf...
277
00:08:54,569 --> 00:08:55,538
I'd rather be dead!
278
00:08:55,638 --> 00:08:56,773
Okay, okay.
279
00:08:56,807 --> 00:08:58,076
I might not fill up
the whole cup.
280
00:08:58,176 --> 00:08:59,946
Hey, how come you
got a napkin on your shoulder?
281
00:09:00,013 --> 00:09:02,184
Huh? Oh. Did I put
that there this morning?
282
00:09:02,284 --> 00:09:03,554
Do I have one there a lot?
283
00:09:03,620 --> 00:09:04,622
-(chuckles)
-Hmm.
284
00:09:04,656 --> 00:09:05,925
Now it's my turn to dare you.
285
00:09:06,058 --> 00:09:08,429
Now dare's an idea!
Eh? Nailed it.
286
00:09:08,530 --> 00:09:09,766
(bird calls playing over phone)
287
00:09:09,866 --> 00:09:10,868
Little louder
with the bird calls?
288
00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:12,003
Let's hear those "cheep-cheeps"
289
00:09:12,137 --> 00:09:13,005
in the cheap seats, huh?
290
00:09:13,139 --> 00:09:13,907
What bird call is that?
291
00:09:13,974 --> 00:09:15,878
"Exotic Birds of the Amazon."
292
00:09:15,945 --> 00:09:19,151
I-I think the one video ended
and this played automatically.
293
00:09:19,251 --> 00:09:20,386
Maybe exotic is good?
294
00:09:20,453 --> 00:09:22,324
Birds will think
they're on vacation?
295
00:09:22,390 --> 00:09:24,161
Um, what are you doing
with the crumbs?
296
00:09:24,228 --> 00:09:26,198
Making a smiley face.
If you were a bird,
297
00:09:26,265 --> 00:09:28,236
would you fly past a smiley face
made of bread crumbs?
298
00:09:28,336 --> 00:09:30,006
-Probably not?
-Okay then.
299
00:09:30,073 --> 00:09:32,010
How are you at
emoji silly tongues?
300
00:09:32,077 --> 00:09:33,179
I mean... not great.
301
00:09:33,246 --> 00:09:34,649
Just do what you can.
302
00:09:34,716 --> 00:09:36,185
Kids? Order's up!
303
00:09:36,252 --> 00:09:37,220
-Little help?
-Coming!
304
00:09:37,287 --> 00:09:38,791
You're on. Make it good.
305
00:09:38,857 --> 00:09:40,293
I'm always on, honey!
306
00:09:40,427 --> 00:09:42,197
Your burger, madam.
Young sir...
307
00:09:42,264 --> 00:09:43,567
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
308
00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:46,038
And, uh... Do you have a diaper
you could spare?
309
00:09:46,138 --> 00:09:47,073
Excuse me?
310
00:09:47,140 --> 00:09:48,944
I said, "Do you have
a spare diaper?"
311
00:09:49,077 --> 00:09:51,415
For my cute little bottom
that needs to go poo-poo.
312
00:09:51,482 --> 00:09:53,319
-There I did it, goodbye!
-"Poo-poo."
313
00:09:53,419 --> 00:09:55,223
-I'm a genius.
-(Linda clears throat)
314
00:09:55,323 --> 00:09:57,628
Gene. Louise. In here, now.
315
00:09:57,695 --> 00:09:59,331
-Crap.
-Don't feel bad.
316
00:09:59,398 --> 00:10:00,601
Potty training is hard.
317
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:01,703
She's right.
318
00:10:01,837 --> 00:10:03,406
I know what you kids are doing.
319
00:10:03,507 --> 00:10:05,043
-It was all Gene's idea.
-What?
320
00:10:05,110 --> 00:10:06,178
You're doing dares.
321
00:10:06,245 --> 00:10:07,414
I know, it's awful.
322
00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:09,084
That's what I kept
trying to tell Gene.
323
00:10:09,184 --> 00:10:10,386
Shush. What I want to know
324
00:10:10,453 --> 00:10:11,890
is why didn't you
ask me to play?
325
00:10:11,957 --> 00:10:12,925
Uh... huh?
326
00:10:12,959 --> 00:10:14,696
Wait, you want us to dare you?
327
00:10:14,762 --> 00:10:17,167
Yeah! I do dares. I love dares.
328
00:10:17,267 --> 00:10:18,770
I never said no to one. Ever.
329
00:10:18,837 --> 00:10:19,973
Is that a good thing?
330
00:10:20,039 --> 00:10:22,010
Of course it is.
When I was growing up,
331
00:10:22,110 --> 00:10:24,114
kids in the neighborhood
called me "the Dare-y Queen."
332
00:10:24,181 --> 00:10:25,383
-Huh.
-Mm.
333
00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:27,454
Well, I called myself that a lot
and it kind of caught on.
334
00:10:27,522 --> 00:10:29,859
But hey, this isn't the
old neighborhood. We're at work.
335
00:10:29,926 --> 00:10:31,195
So, no bothering the customers
336
00:10:31,295 --> 00:10:32,632
and nothing that makes
a big mess, capisce?
337
00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:33,967
We can work with that.
338
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:35,036
All right, then.
339
00:10:35,136 --> 00:10:36,472
Go dream up a good dare
for your mother.
340
00:10:36,540 --> 00:10:37,340
Make it fun.
341
00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:39,178
I dare you to hug me, woman!
342
00:10:39,244 --> 00:10:40,881
Aw, I'll take that dare.
343
00:10:40,948 --> 00:10:43,754
But seriously. Give me
a real dare. Better than that.
344
00:10:44,989 --> 00:10:46,292
-It's working.
-Okay, um,
345
00:10:46,325 --> 00:10:48,095
those are mourning doves.
346
00:10:48,196 --> 00:10:49,097
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
347
00:10:49,164 --> 00:10:51,803
So, yeah. Wow.
Should we just walk away
348
00:10:51,903 --> 00:10:54,776
from this bird-baiting area and,
you know, try not to do things
349
00:10:54,876 --> 00:10:56,145
that could get us fined?
350
00:10:56,212 --> 00:10:57,682
-But this is going well, Dad.
-(bird calling)
351
00:10:57,782 --> 00:10:59,351
And we still have
eight bird types left to go.
352
00:10:59,484 --> 00:11:00,654
-Huh.
-What?
353
00:11:00,721 --> 00:11:01,756
You see that up there?
354
00:11:01,823 --> 00:11:02,925
There's sort of a large bird.
355
00:11:03,025 --> 00:11:04,596
TINA:
Yeah, that's a big boy. Or girl.
356
00:11:04,662 --> 00:11:06,298
I can't see its, um...
N-Never mind.
357
00:11:06,398 --> 00:11:07,502
Can you see its beak?
358
00:11:07,568 --> 00:11:09,004
Is it more pecky,
or rip apart-y?
359
00:11:09,137 --> 00:11:11,810
I think it's hooked?
So... rip apart-y?
360
00:11:11,877 --> 00:11:13,312
(sighs) I'm not sure,
361
00:11:13,379 --> 00:11:14,682
but I think that's a hawk.
362
00:11:14,749 --> 00:11:16,051
Possibly a broad-winged hawk.
363
00:11:16,151 --> 00:11:18,189
TINA:
Okay. And it's circling why?
364
00:11:18,256 --> 00:11:19,324
Is it doing laps?
365
00:11:19,391 --> 00:11:20,493
Is this a fitness thing?
366
00:11:20,561 --> 00:11:22,999
I think it's circling because
367
00:11:23,065 --> 00:11:25,003
we might've made it
easy for it to see
368
00:11:25,069 --> 00:11:26,540
where its next meal is
coming from.
369
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:28,342
-Oh, no. You mean the doves?
-Yup.
370
00:11:28,409 --> 00:11:29,378
Birds eat other birds?!
371
00:11:29,478 --> 00:11:30,748
I mean, I guess I knew that
372
00:11:30,814 --> 00:11:32,183
but it seems crazy to me now!
373
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:33,954
They should be friends,
they have so much in common!
374
00:11:34,021 --> 00:11:36,726
Yeah. But eating each other is
definitely something they do.
375
00:11:36,826 --> 00:11:39,164
No! We can't let this happen!
Get away, birds!
376
00:11:39,231 --> 00:11:41,001
Fly away from the
smiley face silly tongues!
377
00:11:41,068 --> 00:11:42,437
-It's a trap!
-Uh, Tina.
378
00:11:42,538 --> 00:11:43,774
Ranger Matthew Dainko!
379
00:11:43,874 --> 00:11:45,243
Okay, okay. Uh...
380
00:11:45,343 --> 00:11:47,447
I'll just pick up all
the crumbs. There's one.
381
00:11:47,548 --> 00:11:48,917
-There's one!
-Tina, we should go.
382
00:11:48,984 --> 00:11:50,888
Just a couple more crumbs.
There's one. Oh, so many crumbs.
383
00:11:50,955 --> 00:11:52,792
-Tina!
-Okay, coming!
384
00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:54,862
-Oh, God!
-Uh, yup.
385
00:11:54,929 --> 00:11:56,566
A broad-winged hawk.
386
00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:58,236
Wow, look at this
great illustration.
387
00:11:58,302 --> 00:12:00,406
-Huh, huh.
-Never mind.
-(hawk screeches)
388
00:12:04,782 --> 00:12:05,985
(Tina hyperventilating)
389
00:12:06,085 --> 00:12:08,155
Do you think the dove's
gonna be okay?
390
00:12:08,222 --> 00:12:09,391
Yeah. Yeah.
391
00:12:09,458 --> 00:12:11,195
Uh, maybe don't look, though.
392
00:12:11,262 --> 00:12:13,232
Also, Ranger Dainko's
walking this way, so, uh...
393
00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:15,470
-Tina, we've got to go.
-What have I done?!
394
00:12:15,537 --> 00:12:17,007
-(hyperventilating)
-Tina, please.
395
00:12:17,073 --> 00:12:19,979
Um, can you make that noise
a little quieter?
396
00:12:20,079 --> 00:12:21,683
-(panting quietly)
-Thank you.
397
00:12:21,750 --> 00:12:22,652
Thank you, that's better.
398
00:12:22,718 --> 00:12:24,522
What the heck happened here?
Bread crumbs?!
399
00:12:24,589 --> 00:12:25,724
-(bird call plays)
-Oh, no.
400
00:12:25,791 --> 00:12:27,460
The bird call video
came back on!
401
00:12:27,561 --> 00:12:28,730
How do I mute this thing?!
402
00:12:28,764 --> 00:12:29,732
Toucans?
403
00:12:29,766 --> 00:12:30,768
Please stop, phone.
404
00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:32,170
Why are you doing this?
405
00:12:32,304 --> 00:12:34,141
You! You... bad birders!
406
00:12:34,241 --> 00:12:35,978
-Stay right there!
-Okay, run!
407
00:12:36,111 --> 00:12:38,717
Excuse me, can you point me to
the nearest water fountain?
408
00:12:38,817 --> 00:12:40,119
I'm very parched.
409
00:12:40,186 --> 00:12:42,324
(groans) It's-it's
over there by the dog run.
410
00:12:42,390 --> 00:12:43,727
The dog run dog run,
411
00:12:43,827 --> 00:12:45,664
or the field where
people let their dogs run?
412
00:12:45,731 --> 00:12:47,467
(yells)
I don't have time for this!
413
00:12:47,535 --> 00:12:48,670
-Excuse me!
-Sorry.
414
00:12:48,737 --> 00:12:52,444
-Dog run dog run!
-Thank you.
415
00:12:52,511 --> 00:12:55,483
Ow! Ow, ow!
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
416
00:12:55,584 --> 00:12:57,253
Yeah, baby! I did the dare!
417
00:12:57,354 --> 00:12:59,091
Hot plates, straight out
of the dishwasher.
418
00:12:59,157 --> 00:13:00,928
-Impressive.
-I often drop them
419
00:13:00,995 --> 00:13:02,163
even when they're not hot.
420
00:13:02,263 --> 00:13:03,867
Good dare, good dare.
Way better than
421
00:13:03,934 --> 00:13:05,838
the "napkin on the shoulder"
thing, which,
422
00:13:05,871 --> 00:13:07,273
uh, sorry-- little lowbrow.
423
00:13:07,340 --> 00:13:09,812
Wait, there's another one
on there! Dang it!
424
00:13:09,879 --> 00:13:11,048
All right, next dare.
425
00:13:11,181 --> 00:13:12,551
Give it to me.
Dare-y Queen's ready!
426
00:13:12,652 --> 00:13:14,689
Okay, I think
I might have something.
427
00:13:14,756 --> 00:13:16,325
-Ooh, tell me.
-(whispering)
428
00:13:16,392 --> 00:13:18,462
-Interesting.
-What is it? What is it?
429
00:13:18,530 --> 00:13:19,899
I can tell it's gonna be good.
430
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:22,337
Well, first you should know
it involves a customer.
431
00:13:22,437 --> 00:13:24,308
What? That's one
of the rules, Louise.
432
00:13:24,408 --> 00:13:27,047
But all the best dares
are about humiliating yourself.
433
00:13:27,113 --> 00:13:28,750
You can't just
take that off the table.
434
00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:30,320
Yeah, it's like
Peter Jackson saying,
435
00:13:30,420 --> 00:13:32,925
"I'll make a movie but
absolutely no hobbits!"
436
00:13:32,992 --> 00:13:35,063
Plus, you said you
never turn down a dare.
437
00:13:35,096 --> 00:13:36,298
You did say that, Linda.
438
00:13:36,365 --> 00:13:37,868
Come on, Dare-y Queen.
439
00:13:37,935 --> 00:13:41,008
No. I'm not doing it.
It's irresponsible.
440
00:13:41,075 --> 00:13:42,578
And you know what?
I'm fine with it.
441
00:13:42,678 --> 00:13:43,980
I'm fine with
not doing the dare.
442
00:13:44,047 --> 00:13:45,416
Just go bus that table.
443
00:13:45,483 --> 00:13:47,555
I'm gonna go in the kitchen.
I'm fine with this.
444
00:13:47,655 --> 00:13:48,924
Wow. What happened
to you, Linda?
445
00:13:49,024 --> 00:13:50,928
-You used to be cool.
-I still respect you, Mom.
446
00:13:50,994 --> 00:13:52,932
Ah, whatever.
447
00:13:55,303 --> 00:13:57,440
-Did we lose him?
-(Tina groans)
448
00:13:57,541 --> 00:13:58,977
Oh. Look over there, Tina.
449
00:13:59,077 --> 00:14:00,413
It's a blue jay. See it?
450
00:14:00,514 --> 00:14:01,916
TINA (sniffles):
Yeah.
451
00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:04,021
Uh, maybe you want to
put it down in your book?
452
00:14:04,087 --> 00:14:08,897
One blue jay... Not ripped apart
by hawk because of me.
453
00:14:08,964 --> 00:14:10,199
(sighs) Okay.
454
00:14:10,233 --> 00:14:12,905
And now let's watch
for more birds as we
455
00:14:12,972 --> 00:14:14,141
get out of here very quickly.
456
00:14:14,207 --> 00:14:15,376
Hopefully the ranger gave up
457
00:14:15,443 --> 00:14:16,746
-looking for us.
-Okay.
458
00:14:16,846 --> 00:14:18,950
On three, we get up
and run out of the park
459
00:14:19,017 --> 00:14:20,453
or I might walk fast.
460
00:14:20,554 --> 00:14:22,223
I'm not sure what I'm up for.
461
00:14:22,290 --> 00:14:24,929
Ready? One, two, three.
(grunting)
462
00:14:24,962 --> 00:14:26,733
This is Ranger Matthew Dainko!
463
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:27,668
(Bob yells)
464
00:14:27,768 --> 00:14:30,607
Bad birding people,
bird-killing birder-ers,
465
00:14:30,708 --> 00:14:31,943
if you can hear this,
466
00:14:32,010 --> 00:14:34,247
you are wanted for questioning,
467
00:14:34,314 --> 00:14:36,920
-and definite fining!
-BOB: Oh, God.
468
00:14:36,986 --> 00:14:39,024
He's gonna find us.
Then he's gonna fine us.
469
00:14:39,124 --> 00:14:40,894
The old find-and-fine.
470
00:14:40,961 --> 00:14:42,832
What if we hide? In there?
471
00:14:43,499 --> 00:14:46,338
Okay, we're here now.
And for a bathroom in the park,
472
00:14:46,405 --> 00:14:48,844
there isn't too much horrible
stuff I can't look at.
473
00:14:48,977 --> 00:14:51,448
Except in the toilet,
and all around it.
474
00:14:51,549 --> 00:14:52,585
And the walls.
475
00:14:52,651 --> 00:14:53,954
Yeah, the walls are bad.
476
00:14:54,020 --> 00:14:55,691
DAINKO: I will cover
every inch of this park
477
00:14:55,791 --> 00:14:57,293
until I find you monsters!
478
00:14:57,393 --> 00:14:59,799
This is all my fault.
I thought this was gonna be
479
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,503
the first step
toward a successful life.
480
00:15:01,603 --> 00:15:02,772
But I lost it, man.
481
00:15:02,872 --> 00:15:04,474
I'm a dove killer
hiding out in a toilet.
482
00:15:04,542 --> 00:15:06,679
How's that look on
a college application?
483
00:15:06,746 --> 00:15:08,650
Uh, Tina, don't feel too bad.
484
00:15:08,750 --> 00:15:10,486
I-I bet the dove died happy?
485
00:15:10,554 --> 00:15:12,658
Eating really good bread.
That's how I want go, Tina.
486
00:15:12,758 --> 00:15:15,764
And I think, yeah, I'm pretty
sure he was really old.
487
00:15:15,798 --> 00:15:17,835
And maybe even
had a terminal illness?
488
00:15:17,902 --> 00:15:18,870
(groans)
489
00:15:18,970 --> 00:15:21,008
All right,
I'll-I'll stop talking.
490
00:15:21,141 --> 00:15:22,845
DAINKO: Can you still
hear me, bad birders?
491
00:15:22,912 --> 00:15:24,549
Are you out there
somewhere tossing
492
00:15:24,649 --> 00:15:26,886
bread around like
it's the devil's confetti?!
493
00:15:27,020 --> 00:15:29,391
I'm gonna peek real quick
to see where he is.
494
00:15:29,491 --> 00:15:31,128
And he's very close.
495
00:15:31,195 --> 00:15:32,631
Uh, hey, there's a crow.
496
00:15:32,731 --> 00:15:34,201
Oh, no, do you think he heard
497
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:35,537
what happened and
now he wants revenge?
498
00:15:35,637 --> 00:15:37,240
It looks like he's just
messing with a twig.
499
00:15:37,307 --> 00:15:38,710
TINA: Is he gonna turn it
into a weapon?
500
00:15:38,810 --> 00:15:40,346
Is he gonna shiv us
in the bathroom?!
501
00:15:40,446 --> 00:15:41,381
I don't think so.
502
00:15:41,448 --> 00:15:43,052
Oh, God, he just
looked at me, though.
503
00:15:43,119 --> 00:15:44,321
-Don't make eye contact.
-Right.
504
00:15:44,454 --> 00:15:45,791
LOUISE:
I just came to drop off
505
00:15:45,858 --> 00:15:47,595
an order.
And also I wanted to ask,
506
00:15:47,695 --> 00:15:50,433
how does it feel to be
a shell of your former self,
507
00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:51,669
Dare-y Queen?
508
00:15:51,736 --> 00:15:53,405
She used to be the Dare-y Queen.
509
00:15:53,472 --> 00:15:55,978
-(scoffs)
-But that was a long time ago.
510
00:15:56,044 --> 00:15:57,347
Isn't that right, Linda?
511
00:15:57,447 --> 00:15:58,884
(grumbles)
512
00:15:58,950 --> 00:15:59,785
Hmm.
513
00:15:59,852 --> 00:16:02,390
I wonder how she'd
feel if we double...
514
00:16:02,457 --> 00:16:03,593
-(gasps)
-dog...
515
00:16:03,693 --> 00:16:04,896
Don't you do it, Louise!
516
00:16:04,962 --> 00:16:05,898
...dared her.
517
00:16:05,964 --> 00:16:07,133
No!
518
00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:08,703
Double dog deal with it, Mama!
519
00:16:08,770 --> 00:16:09,972
Oh, okay, fine. I'll do it!
520
00:16:10,072 --> 00:16:11,943
Come back here,
tell me what it is.
521
00:16:12,010 --> 00:16:12,878
Yay, Linda!
522
00:16:12,945 --> 00:16:16,084
God, I love peer pressure.
Always works.
523
00:16:17,086 --> 00:16:19,291
Okay, I don't see him
and I don't hear him.
524
00:16:19,357 --> 00:16:21,094
Maybe we should make
a run for it?
525
00:16:21,161 --> 00:16:22,598
-Oh, wow.
-What? Do you see him?
526
00:16:22,665 --> 00:16:23,600
No, the crow.
527
00:16:23,667 --> 00:16:24,836
I thought it was playing
528
00:16:24,936 --> 00:16:26,038
with a twig,
but it was bending it.
529
00:16:26,071 --> 00:16:27,473
O-Okay. The ranger thing
530
00:16:27,541 --> 00:16:29,477
feels a little more pressing,
but great.
531
00:16:29,545 --> 00:16:31,248
TINA: Now it's poking
the stick into a log.
532
00:16:31,381 --> 00:16:33,720
-Like it's using it.
-BOB: Oh, yeah.
533
00:16:33,787 --> 00:16:35,591
I-I think that's a crow thing.
534
00:16:35,691 --> 00:16:37,093
They-they make tools, maybe?
535
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:39,264
I mean, mostly they
dig in dumpsters, but...
536
00:16:39,364 --> 00:16:40,767
It's really getting in there.
537
00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,237
Maybe it's looking for bugs?
538
00:16:42,303 --> 00:16:43,640
Or treasure? Probably bugs.
539
00:16:43,707 --> 00:16:44,909
-Found you!
-BOTH: Ah!
540
00:16:44,976 --> 00:16:46,144
Geez, did you have
to use the megaphone?
541
00:16:46,245 --> 00:16:47,615
-Yes!
-BOTH: Ah!
542
00:16:51,823 --> 00:16:53,192
Come out, you two. Come on out.
543
00:16:53,259 --> 00:16:54,996
I knew I should've
checked the bathroom earlier,
544
00:16:55,096 --> 00:16:56,633
but I thought, "They wouldn't
hide in the bathroom."
545
00:16:56,733 --> 00:16:59,237
Not that our bathrooms
aren't reasonably sanitary
546
00:16:59,337 --> 00:17:01,174
but come on,
it's a park bathroom.
547
00:17:01,241 --> 00:17:02,377
I'm so sorry, Ranger Dainko.
548
00:17:02,443 --> 00:17:04,749
Yeah.
Th-This is really my fault.
549
00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:06,118
I mean, I'm gonna say that.
550
00:17:06,218 --> 00:17:07,320
It's not really his fault.
551
00:17:07,387 --> 00:17:09,491
-Oh! The crow's back.
-What? Oh.
552
00:17:09,559 --> 00:17:11,863
We've been watching him
while we've been in this
553
00:17:11,930 --> 00:17:13,232
reasonably sanitary bathroom.
554
00:17:13,299 --> 00:17:14,869
-Oh, really?
-Yeah, he bent a twig
555
00:17:14,936 --> 00:17:16,673
and he's been poking
into that log for,
556
00:17:16,739 --> 00:17:17,975
-like, a while now.
-Huh.
557
00:17:18,075 --> 00:17:19,377
I've heard about it,
but I've never
558
00:17:19,444 --> 00:17:21,048
actually seen them
use tools before.
559
00:17:21,114 --> 00:17:23,118
That is truly--
Oh, I'm-I'm talking too loud.
560
00:17:23,252 --> 00:17:24,622
Do you mind if I...?
561
00:17:24,689 --> 00:17:26,391
Uh... Okay. Yeah.
562
00:17:26,458 --> 00:17:27,628
DAINKO:
Geez. Look at that.
563
00:17:27,661 --> 00:17:28,730
Crows are really smart, huh?
564
00:17:28,830 --> 00:17:30,199
Yeah, we should
stop eating them.
565
00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:31,936
Kidding.
That was not a good joke
566
00:17:32,036 --> 00:17:32,938
around bird lovers.
567
00:17:33,005 --> 00:17:35,877
So about those bread crumbs
and the dove.
568
00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:37,514
I'm so sorry
about the bread crumbs,
569
00:17:37,581 --> 00:17:39,484
and the bird calls, and the poor
innocent little dove
570
00:17:39,552 --> 00:17:41,421
who I'm praying is
at least in bird heaven.
571
00:17:41,522 --> 00:17:42,992
Which must be
really high up there.
572
00:17:43,058 --> 00:17:44,662
It would have to be
or birds would always be
573
00:17:44,795 --> 00:17:46,098
flying into it by accident?
574
00:17:46,164 --> 00:17:48,469
Anyway, I just-- I wanted
my Lightning Sash so much.
575
00:17:48,603 --> 00:17:51,008
Oh, Tina.
I was in the Nature Boys.
576
00:17:51,108 --> 00:17:53,012
For us it was
the Order of the Grizzly.
577
00:17:53,112 --> 00:17:54,882
A lot of the other fellas
were hustling for that
578
00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:56,719
Grizzly Sash and
I always felt bad for them
579
00:17:56,753 --> 00:17:59,391
'cause they never just
stopped and smelled the roses.
580
00:17:59,457 --> 00:18:01,395
Rose-smelling
was a badge back then.
581
00:18:01,461 --> 00:18:03,232
Really? Huh.
Seems like an easy one.
582
00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:06,204
I mean, look at us,
right now, just crouching here
583
00:18:06,305 --> 00:18:08,208
enjoying this majestic crow.
584
00:18:08,309 --> 00:18:09,444
He doesn't give up, does he?
585
00:18:09,477 --> 00:18:11,214
-I really like that crow.
-Oh, my God.
586
00:18:11,281 --> 00:18:12,618
Is it your spark bird?
587
00:18:12,685 --> 00:18:14,722
Oh. Yeah. I guess it is.
588
00:18:14,855 --> 00:18:17,761
Oh, I'm witnessing someone
find their spark bird.
589
00:18:17,828 --> 00:18:20,199
(cries) This is gonna get
emotional for me.
590
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,871
Uh, okay. Are-are you--
Are you all right?
591
00:18:22,938 --> 00:18:24,274
Do you want some toilet paper?
592
00:18:24,341 --> 00:18:27,480
Oh, uh, never mind,
the whole roll is wet somehow.
593
00:18:27,615 --> 00:18:30,353
I mean, I can probably
guess how it-it got wet.
594
00:18:30,453 --> 00:18:31,823
I'll-I'll be fine. Hey...
595
00:18:31,856 --> 00:18:34,060
let's forget about the whole
"bread crumbs, dead dove,
596
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:36,198
chasing you around the park"
thing, okay?
597
00:18:36,298 --> 00:18:38,837
We're all birders here.
598
00:18:38,903 --> 00:18:39,905
-Whoa.
-He did it.
599
00:18:39,972 --> 00:18:41,843
A millipede! What a rush, huh?
600
00:18:41,909 --> 00:18:44,347
You guys, uh, want to
watch a little longer or...
601
00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:45,851
Oh, oh. It flew away.
602
00:18:45,951 --> 00:18:46,719
Aw.
603
00:18:46,819 --> 00:18:48,823
Should we, uh,
get out of the bathroom?
604
00:18:48,923 --> 00:18:50,026
Yeah, yeah, let's get out.
605
00:18:50,092 --> 00:18:52,463
Uh, I actually
have to pee, so...
606
00:18:52,497 --> 00:18:54,902
Never mind, I'll hold it.
No offense.
607
00:18:55,637 --> 00:18:57,473
Uh, excuse me?
We're ready to order.
608
00:18:57,541 --> 00:18:59,612
Your server will be
with you in a moment.
609
00:18:59,679 --> 00:19:01,281
LINDA:
Here I come.
610
00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:03,052
-Uh...
-LINDA: Ow.
611
00:19:03,118 --> 00:19:04,522
Okay, uh...
612
00:19:04,655 --> 00:19:06,659
Sorry, I'm a little
turned around today.
613
00:19:06,726 --> 00:19:07,928
What can I get you?
614
00:19:07,995 --> 00:19:10,199
Um, I would like a
Burger of the Day?
615
00:19:10,266 --> 00:19:11,569
Ooh, good choice.
616
00:19:11,636 --> 00:19:12,905
And, uh... fries.
617
00:19:13,005 --> 00:19:14,842
Fries, yep, yep, of course.
618
00:19:14,909 --> 00:19:17,113
Loving this. Loving this.
619
00:19:17,180 --> 00:19:18,750
How about you, sir?
What'll you have?
620
00:19:18,817 --> 00:19:20,219
Um, a cheeseburger.
621
00:19:20,286 --> 00:19:21,956
You got it! Writing it down.
622
00:19:22,023 --> 00:19:25,296
Here I go. Cheese... burger.
623
00:19:25,363 --> 00:19:28,268
-Wow. Guess the Dare-y Queen's
alive and well.
-Ooh!
624
00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:30,507
Now I will bring your order
back into the kitchen.
625
00:19:30,540 --> 00:19:32,544
And cook it. Like this. Ow.
626
00:19:32,644 --> 00:19:33,980
LOUISE:
No, no, no, no, no. Mom,
627
00:19:34,114 --> 00:19:35,550
don't do that.
That seems dangerous.
628
00:19:35,650 --> 00:19:37,755
I'm doing it.
It's a double dog dare.
629
00:19:37,855 --> 00:19:39,024
I'm gettin' double dare points!
630
00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:40,292
Oh, dear Lord.
631
00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:41,428
LINDA:
Dare-y Queen! Oh, God!
632
00:19:41,529 --> 00:19:42,865
-Mom!
-LINDA: No, I'm fine!
633
00:19:42,998 --> 00:19:44,200
-(thudding)
-LINDA: Ow. Oh, God.
634
00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:45,704
-Ow!
-She's so brave.
635
00:19:45,771 --> 00:19:46,839
(bell jingles)
636
00:19:46,939 --> 00:19:50,146
Well, looky here,
if it isn't the bird nerds.
637
00:19:50,179 --> 00:19:52,116
Ha! She nailed you guys.
638
00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:52,951
Mm.
639
00:19:53,052 --> 00:19:54,120
So? How'd it go, Tina?
640
00:19:54,154 --> 00:19:55,156
You get your badge?
641
00:19:55,256 --> 00:19:56,592
I'm two birds away.
I might go back
642
00:19:56,692 --> 00:19:58,328
to the park
and finish up tomorrow.
643
00:19:58,462 --> 00:20:00,332
And then you're on your way to
getting your Lightning hoozit?
644
00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:02,303
Maybe. I think I'm just gonna
645
00:20:02,437 --> 00:20:03,907
earn badges at a normal speed.
646
00:20:03,973 --> 00:20:05,409
I might get more out of it.
647
00:20:05,476 --> 00:20:07,413
And I don't want to be a fortune
cookie company CEO anyway.
648
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:08,650
And no doves have to die.
649
00:20:08,717 --> 00:20:10,787
-Say what now?
-Uh, I'll tell you later.
650
00:20:10,854 --> 00:20:12,958
Did you hear what it
sounds like when doves cry?
651
00:20:13,025 --> 00:20:14,962
Eh... Yeah. It's unsettling.
652
00:20:15,029 --> 00:20:17,200
-How was it here?
-Eh, fine.
653
00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:19,204
We sold some burgers,
ate some gross stuff,
654
00:20:19,270 --> 00:20:21,341
maybe scared a couple
customers a little bit.
655
00:20:21,374 --> 00:20:23,078
Um... What-what do you mean?
656
00:20:23,145 --> 00:20:24,849
Well, glad to have you back,
big guy.
657
00:20:24,915 --> 00:20:27,253
Why did you just put
a napkin on my shoulder?
658
00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:28,757
Ha! It was a dare.
659
00:20:28,823 --> 00:20:29,792
No, it wasn't.
660
00:20:29,892 --> 00:20:31,194
They dared me, Bob. I swear.
661
00:20:31,228 --> 00:20:32,731
We don't know
what he's talking about.
662
00:20:32,831 --> 00:20:33,833
What's a "dare"?
663
00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:35,202
No, you guys. Come on.
664
00:20:35,269 --> 00:20:36,606
BOB: It's kind of
a waste of a napkin.
665
00:20:36,672 --> 00:20:38,041
TEDDY:
No. No. It was a dare!
666
00:20:38,108 --> 00:20:39,477
You got to believe me, Bob!
667
00:20:39,545 --> 00:20:40,881
BOB:
Teddy, calm down.
668
00:20:40,947 --> 00:20:44,320
-(birds cawing)
-♪ ♪
669
00:20:45,924 --> 00:20:48,663
♪ Sha, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
670
00:20:48,730 --> 00:20:50,299
(birds cawing)
671
00:20:50,366 --> 00:20:53,439
♪ Mm, uh-huh ♪
672
00:20:54,542 --> 00:20:57,614
♪ Mr. Crow and me ♪
673
00:20:57,714 --> 00:21:00,286
♪ Watching from the bathroom ♪
674
00:21:00,386 --> 00:21:02,958
♪ When I see you there
bending that stick ♪
675
00:21:03,058 --> 00:21:08,035
♪ I want to say, "Hey, look at
you bend that stick" ♪
676
00:21:08,135 --> 00:21:10,372
♪ Don't want to see a pigeon ♪
677
00:21:10,473 --> 00:21:14,414
♪ Mr. Crow, poke that log
until you find something ♪
678
00:21:14,481 --> 00:21:17,821
♪ Looks like
you found a beetle? ♪
679
00:21:17,888 --> 00:21:20,727
♪ Oh, look, now you flew up
in a tree ♪
680
00:21:20,794 --> 00:21:22,363
-(cawing)
-♪ Mr. Crow and... ♪
681
00:21:22,497 --> 00:21:23,933
Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT
682
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,338
and TOYOTA.