1
00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:03,999
This is awkward.

2
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,919
The cute, smiley, popular girl.

3
00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:07,079
I think she murdered me.

4
00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:09,599
So, you think that
if a girl likes me,

5
00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:11,319
there must be something
wrong with her.

6
00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:13,239
That's not what we're saying.
Dad!

7
00:00:13,240 --> 00:00:17,239
She's my little...

8
00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:19,639
Why are the coppers after you?

9
00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:21,119
I didn't mean to hurt them.

10
00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:23,439
I didn't mean to hurt anyone,
especially not you.

11
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:24,799
What are you doing?

12
00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:28,799
Bruno!

13
00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:33,879
You killed him!

14
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:03,999
SILENT

15
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:21,999
THUNDER

16
00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:41,359
# TCHAIKOVSKY:
Dance Of The Sugar Plum Fairy

17
00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:45,519
DOORBELL

18
00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:55,719
How would you describe your ability?

19
00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:58,359
I call it lacto-kinesis.

20
00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:02,359
What's it like being called
the world's first superhero?

21
00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:07,079
That has to be
the shittest power ever.

22
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,839
# The city breathing

23
00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:23,639
# The people churning

24
00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:24,919
# The conversating

25
00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:28,919
# The price is what?

26
00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:42,759
# The conversating

27
00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:45,159
# This place is heaven

28
00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:49,159
# If you see them! #

29
00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:57,159
Hey, man.

30
00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:59,719
I can't believe
this guy has gone public.

31
00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:00,959
You better believe it.

32
00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:02,959
Because he's going to
make a fortune.

33
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:04,799
Maybe we should think
about doing the same?

34
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:08,799
The early bird catches
the massive pay cheque.

35
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:10,279
Nice cock, man.

36
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:11,759
Fuck off.

37
00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:13,879
I don't think going public's
a good idea.

38
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:17,479
Look, we finish our community
service in two days. Count them.

39
00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:20,119
I don't know about you,
but I'm not exactly swamped

40
00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:22,359
with lucrative job offers.

41
00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:26,359
We need to think about
cashing in on our powers.

42
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:35,279
I mean, I'm immortal.

43
00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:39,279
I shouldn't be flipping burgers,
I should be eating burgers,

44
00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:41,959
massive burgers,
the size of my head.

45
00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:45,399
Think about it, we could have
really cool superhero names.

46
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:48,639
Captain Invincible.

47
00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:50,119
Mr Backwards.

48
00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,999
I sound retarded.

49
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,159
The Invisible Cunt.

50
00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:57,279
Why do I have to be
the Invisible Cunt?

51
00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:59,599
Because you just are, man.
Get over it.

52
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,639
I mean, what's the point in
all of us having superpowers

53
00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:05,359
if we can't use them
to make obscene amounts of money

54
00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:07,999
and shag loads of drunk,
impressionable girls.

55
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:11,999
It's clearly what God intended for
us. I for one will not let him down.

56
00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:20,759
SIREN

57
00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,359
Simon!
What?

58
00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:26,079
What's going on
with you and Jessica?

59
00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:30,079
After what happened with her dad,
she said she can't see me, so...

60
00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:32,599
Seeing a girl
whose dad tried to kill you...

61
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,999
it's never going to work.

62
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,039
You'll meet someone else.

63
00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:41,039
Trust me.

64
00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:51,719
SHOUTING

65
00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:58,679
What was that?

66
00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:00,279
They know what about us.

67
00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:01,839
Who?

68
00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:03,199
Everyone.

69
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:04,439
What are you talking about?

70
00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:07,639
There are reporters and
TV cameras outside, lots of them.

71
00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:09,079
Bullshit.

72
00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:10,239
No way.

73
00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:12,559
Are you serious?

74
00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:14,999
Right. I think
I might take a little peek.

75
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,839
Don't open the door.

76
00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:21,839
SHOUTING

77
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,519
That was really
quite a lot of reporters.

78
00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:33,239
How did they find out about us?

79
00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:37,239
What? No, I didn't do anything.

80
00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:40,199
I don't think I did.

81
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:44,199
I'm almost certain I didn't.

82
00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:48,239
You!

83
00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:52,159
You told them about us.

84
00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:54,159
Yeah.

85
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:56,159
You sit on your arse
doing nothing for six weeks

86
00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:57,199
and then you sell us out.

87
00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,679
Looks like that, doesn't it?

88
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,639
Is that ironic?

89
00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:03,119
Never too sure.

90
00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:05,959
You're our probation worker.
You're supposed to sort us out.

91
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,759
I'm sure you'll be fine.

92
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,639
Like you give a shit.

93
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:11,239
That's a good point. See you.

94
00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:13,919
Where you going?

95
00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:16,279
Antigua. Hm.

96
00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:20,279
So, this is goodbye,
so long, and fuck off.

97
00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:24,479
Wanker!

98
00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:29,119
I'm actually very surprised
that it hasn't happened sooner.

99
00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:31,599
We haven't really been that careful.

100
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,479
What are they going to do to us?

101
00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:36,039
They'll treat us like freaks.

102
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:39,479
They'll lock us up
in a secret military facility

103
00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:40,919
and conduct experiments on us.

104
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:44,159
Hey, no-one's experimenting on me.
I'm not a monkey.

105
00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:46,439
What are we going to do?

106
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:48,519
We have to go into hiding.

107
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,559
We assume new identities.

108
00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:53,759
We break off all connection
with our family and friends.

109
00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:56,359
We wear disguises
and only go out after dark.

110
00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:58,879
I'm not loving the sound of that.

111
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:01,279
Do you expect me
never to see my mum again?

112
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:04,079
Who's going to do my washing? Huh?

113
00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:06,439
You have not thought this through.

114
00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:10,239
There is an alternative.

115
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,039
Who are you?

116
00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:15,519
I'm the person who can make it
so you don't need to go into hiding.

117
00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:19,519
If this is handled right,
you're all making some serious money.

118
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:32,039
What are you thinking?

119
00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:34,799
This isn't why we got our powers.

120
00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:37,239
No. There is no why,
there's only what.

121
00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:40,079
What are we going to
spend all our money on?

122
00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:42,119
None of us even know
what we're doing after.

123
00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:47,239
It's better than signing on.
What about the people we killed?

124
00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:53,359
I guess we should ask her
about that. -Yeah.

125
00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:00,679
I'm not saying we have,

126
00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:03,719
but what would happen,
hypothetically speaking,

127
00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:07,719
if it came to light that we may
have killed one or two people?

128
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:13,359
Probation workers and such.
No-one important.

129
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:19,999
I would say that these people

130
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,959
you may or may not have killed

131
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:25,079
were evil.

132
00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:26,639
You were protecting society.

133
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:30,639
You're not murderers.
You're heroes.

134
00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:32,559
Superheroes.

135
00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:36,559
Rich, famous superheroes.

136
00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:38,519
And if that doesn't work,

137
00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:41,359
we vanish the bodies
and pay off the relatives.

138
00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:44,879
Good answer.

139
00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:45,999
Sign us up.

140
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,479
Good.

141
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:49,039
We're making a mistake.

142
00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:51,199
We should all stick together.

143
00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,479
Just do it with us.

144
00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:57,479
This will change everything.

145
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:05,279
Call me when you change your mind.

146
00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:15,199
I don't know.

147
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,719
Do you trust her?

148
00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,319
They're waiting for you.

149
00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:21,279
They're calling you the ASBO Five.

150
00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:22,999
I haven't even got an ASBO.

151
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,439
No-one cares.

152
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:27,799
OK, any questions you don't want
to answer, just let me handle it.

153
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,559
Teeth, good.

154
00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:31,199
Hair, beautiful.

155
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:32,839
Cock, in.

156
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:36,239
Flies, up.

157
00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:40,239
Let's go be famous.

158
00:11:09,346 --> 00:11:13,345
Hello, ladies!

159
00:11:18,226 --> 00:11:22,225
Phew!

160
00:11:25,026 --> 00:11:27,425
Laura, hi.

161
00:11:27,426 --> 00:11:30,665
Have we heard anything from the
French about this cheese deal?

162
00:11:30,666 --> 00:11:32,305
Do they know what I can do?

163
00:11:32,306 --> 00:11:35,705
They know. They're calling
you Monsieur Grande Fromage.

164
00:11:35,706 --> 00:11:36,985
Mr Big Cheese.

165
00:11:36,986 --> 00:11:38,185
PHONE RINGS

166
00:11:38,186 --> 00:11:40,785
Can we do this later?
I'm really busy right now.

167
00:11:40,786 --> 00:11:42,345
Have you got it?

168
00:11:42,346 --> 00:11:46,345
Take her straight to the hotel
and don't let her talk to anyone.

169
00:11:46,746 --> 00:11:49,505
How wonderful.
No, we're very excited.

170
00:12:00,826 --> 00:12:04,825
(WHISTLES)

171
00:12:07,506 --> 00:12:11,505
Ah!

172
00:12:13,586 --> 00:12:15,585
Jesus!

173
00:12:15,586 --> 00:12:17,305
Sorry.

174
00:12:17,306 --> 00:12:19,945
Why are you skulking
around in my bathroom?

175
00:12:19,946 --> 00:12:22,825
My parents are freaking out
about the invisible thing.

176
00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:24,945
I didn't have anywhere else to go.

177
00:12:24,946 --> 00:12:27,545
Can I stay with you?

178
00:12:27,546 --> 00:12:29,745
Sure, man.

179
00:12:29,746 --> 00:12:32,585
Hang back a few minutes, though.
I'm just going to go

180
00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:36,585
slip these girls one before
they sober up.

181
00:12:43,706 --> 00:12:44,865
Sorry I'm late.

182
00:12:44,866 --> 00:12:48,425
I was just enjoying the fruits of
our new-found fame and celebrity.

183
00:12:48,426 --> 00:12:51,425
You know I'm not actually
talking about fruit.

184
00:12:51,426 --> 00:12:54,865
Although you should see the
size of my fruit bowl... Massive!

185
00:12:54,866 --> 00:12:56,905
Did you shag those skanky girls?

186
00:12:56,906 --> 00:12:58,745
I most certainly did.

187
00:12:58,746 --> 00:13:00,745
Loving the canapes.

188
00:13:00,746 --> 00:13:03,785
I was just saying, if there's
anything you don't want to see

189
00:13:03,786 --> 00:13:07,465
in the papers, tell me now
and then I can deal with it.

190
00:13:07,466 --> 00:13:10,265
Everything about me has
already been in the papers.

191
00:13:10,266 --> 00:13:12,145
Do any of your
ex-boyfriends have

192
00:13:12,146 --> 00:13:14,385
any intimate photographs
or videos of you?

193
00:13:14,386 --> 00:13:17,065
I'll delete them.

194
00:13:17,066 --> 00:13:19,105
Make sure you do.

195
00:13:19,106 --> 00:13:22,585
Right. Is there anything
else I need to know?

196
00:13:22,586 --> 00:13:26,105
Yes?

197
00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:29,745
Just before I started
my Community Service,

198
00:13:29,746 --> 00:13:33,625
- there was an incident with this girl...
- What kind of incident?

199
00:13:33,626 --> 00:13:34,785
Really?

200
00:13:34,786 --> 00:13:37,425
I picked her up in this
dentist's waiting room.

201
00:13:37,426 --> 00:13:39,145
She was having
some kind of oral surgery.

202
00:13:39,146 --> 00:13:42,745
So we go out -
a few drinks, a couple of kebabs,

203
00:13:42,746 --> 00:13:46,265
then it's straight back to her place
and start with the shagging.

204
00:13:46,266 --> 00:13:47,825
I've built up a nice rhythm...

205
00:13:47,826 --> 00:13:50,265
I'm getting really close
to blowing my load,

206
00:13:50,266 --> 00:13:52,225
just hovering in the pleasure zone.

207
00:13:52,226 --> 00:13:54,745
And then BAM! All hell breaks lose.

208
00:13:54,746 --> 00:13:58,345
I tripled myself.

209
00:13:58,346 --> 00:14:01,145
I'm not familiar with that term.

210
00:14:01,146 --> 00:14:02,745
You know... Tripling.

211
00:14:02,746 --> 00:14:06,225
It's when you cum, puke and shit
yourself all at the same time.

212
00:14:06,226 --> 00:14:07,705
Fuck's sake!

213
00:14:07,706 --> 00:14:11,705
Three bodily functions.
Doing the triple.

214
00:14:12,586 --> 00:14:13,745
You're telling me that's
never happened to you?

215
00:14:13,746 --> 00:14:16,065
No.

216
00:14:16,066 --> 00:14:19,066
Anyway, I lied about my name,
so she probably doesn't even remember me.

217
00:14:19,186 --> 00:14:21,228
I don't think she's ever forgetting you.

218
00:14:23,146 --> 00:14:26,345
Anyone else?

219
00:14:26,346 --> 00:14:30,345
I shagged a monkey.

220
00:14:31,786 --> 00:14:35,785
Technically, it was a gorilla.

221
00:14:50,466 --> 00:14:51,705
What are we doing here?

222
00:14:51,706 --> 00:14:55,185
I wanted you to meet my other clients
and also some potential sponsors.

223
00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:58,905
Just relax and enjoy yourself.

224
00:14:58,906 --> 00:15:02,905
I should mingle.

225
00:15:03,226 --> 00:15:07,065
Laura.

226
00:15:08,786 --> 00:15:12,785
Down the wrong way.

227
00:15:14,866 --> 00:15:17,625
Hi.

228
00:15:17,626 --> 00:15:18,985
Good to see you.

229
00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:22,065
Oh, you're that milk guy, innit.

230
00:15:22,066 --> 00:15:23,545
It's not just milk.
It's all dairy products.

231
00:15:23,546 --> 00:15:26,345
So you're here to
make the coffees then?

232
00:15:26,346 --> 00:15:29,665
I'm done making other people coffee.
People make my coffee now.

233
00:15:29,666 --> 00:15:32,705
So what's the point
in having your power?

234
00:15:32,706 --> 00:15:36,065
Were you one of those fat kids
who had milk seeping out

235
00:15:36,066 --> 00:15:38,265
of his man boobs during puberty?

236
00:15:38,266 --> 00:15:39,745
No.

237
00:15:39,746 --> 00:15:43,745
We had a kid like him at our school.
We used to milk him every lunchtime.

238
00:15:43,906 --> 00:15:46,345
I wasn't one of those kids.

239
00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:48,385
Get off me - what are you doing?
I'm milking you!

240
00:15:48,386 --> 00:15:49,425
Get off!

241
00:15:49,426 --> 00:15:52,425
This reminds me of school.
That was some good times.

242
00:15:52,426 --> 00:15:56,185
Fuck off!

243
00:15:56,186 --> 00:16:00,185
That's what the kid at my school used
to say and he had a nervous breakdown.

244
00:16:04,346 --> 00:16:05,545
Nathan.

245
00:16:05,546 --> 00:16:08,625
How would you feel about
blowing your brains out

246
00:16:08,626 --> 00:16:12,625
live on national television
tomorrow night?

247
00:16:15,586 --> 00:16:19,585
Yeah, I am definitely up for that.

248
00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:24,065
Another please.

249
00:16:30,066 --> 00:16:31,666
Hi.

250
00:16:37,426 --> 00:16:40,145
Be nice to him, yeah?

251
00:16:41,466 --> 00:16:45,465
I'm not promising anything,
but I'll definitely try.

252
00:16:46,066 --> 00:16:47,945
Maybe a tuxedo - what do you think?

253
00:16:47,946 --> 00:16:51,225
Why not? They're planning to
film it at the Community Centre.

254
00:16:51,226 --> 00:16:54,705
Right. It's like a whole
going back to my roots kind of vibe.

255
00:16:54,706 --> 00:16:55,345
Daisy! Daisy! >

256
00:16:55,346 --> 00:16:59,345
Excuse me.

257
00:17:04,186 --> 00:17:04,905
Who's she?

258
00:17:04,906 --> 00:17:06,065
That's Daisy. >

259
00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:08,745
More and more people with
powers are coming forward.

260
00:17:08,746 --> 00:17:10,145
What can she do?

261
00:17:10,146 --> 00:17:12,865
She can heal people -
any illness, any disease,

262
00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:15,225
she plans to cure the world.

263
00:17:15,226 --> 00:17:19,225
She's like a pretty, modern day
Mother Theresa with a superpower.

264
00:17:19,306 --> 00:17:22,505
She is going to make a fortune.

265
00:17:22,506 --> 00:17:25,225
Daisy! Daisy!

266
00:17:25,226 --> 00:17:26,065
That's far enough...

267
00:17:26,066 --> 00:17:30,065
No, no, let him through.

268
00:17:32,386 --> 00:17:33,985
What's your name?

269
00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:35,625
Neil.

270
00:17:35,626 --> 00:17:39,625
I'm just going to
touch your legs, OK?

271
00:17:47,826 --> 00:17:51,825
Steady!

272
00:18:06,946 --> 00:18:10,945
I'm walking.

273
00:18:12,186 --> 00:18:16,185
(CHUCKLES)

274
00:18:16,226 --> 00:18:20,225
Thank you.

275
00:18:43,346 --> 00:18:47,345
Hi, honey.

276
00:18:50,386 --> 00:18:51,825
Where are you going?

277
00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:54,505
There's somewhere I need to be.

278
00:18:54,506 --> 00:18:57,865
I thought you liked me.

279
00:18:57,866 --> 00:18:59,945
Well...

280
00:18:59,946 --> 00:19:03,865
So now there are other people with
powers you're not interested in me?

281
00:19:03,866 --> 00:19:06,505
There's a guy downstairs
who can rewind time.

282
00:19:06,506 --> 00:19:10,505
You can do stuff with milk.

283
00:19:12,786 --> 00:19:16,785
I'll show you what I can do.

284
00:19:18,986 --> 00:19:22,945
(RETCHES)

285
00:19:22,946 --> 00:19:25,025
What are you doing?
What is that?

286
00:19:25,026 --> 00:19:28,265
That's the Greek yoghurt
you ate earlier.

287
00:19:28,266 --> 00:19:32,265
It's moving up into your trachea.

288
00:19:43,386 --> 00:19:47,385
You think I'm a nobody.

289
00:19:52,186 --> 00:19:56,185
You're nothing.

290
00:20:21,186 --> 00:20:24,625
Oh Jesus, no!

291
00:20:24,626 --> 00:20:27,545
There's puss seeping out of my cock.

292
00:20:27,546 --> 00:20:28,785
Ugh!

293
00:20:28,786 --> 00:20:32,145
One of those three girls, or the girl
I shagged in the toilets at the club,

294
00:20:32,146 --> 00:20:34,345
one of them had
poor personal hygiene.

295
00:20:34,346 --> 00:20:37,225
This is a catastrophe of
tsunami-like proportions.

296
00:20:37,226 --> 00:20:41,225
No girl in her right mind is
going to have sex with that.

297
00:20:41,426 --> 00:20:44,385
You should ask that
Daisy girl to cure you.

298
00:20:44,386 --> 00:20:46,185
Right.

299
00:20:46,186 --> 00:20:49,825
She wants to cure the world,
she can start with my cock.

300
00:20:49,826 --> 00:20:53,505
'We'd just found that other boy's
body stuffed in the locker and then

301
00:20:53,506 --> 00:20:55,745
'Curtis grabbed my hand
and he's all like,

302
00:20:55,746 --> 00:20:57,705
' "Oh, I wanna bone you,
I wanna shag you senseless." '

303
00:20:57,706 --> 00:20:59,625
(TV) 'This was just the beginning.

304
00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:01,505
'The five young offenders
soon found that

305
00:21:01,506 --> 00:21:03,505
'each of them had been
affected by the storm.

306
00:21:03,506 --> 00:21:05,305
'Afraid they would be
outcast from society,

307
00:21:05,306 --> 00:21:06,345
'they swore a pact of secrecy...'

308
00:21:06,346 --> 00:21:10,345
'they swore a pact of secrecy...'

309
00:21:10,626 --> 00:21:12,545
Oh, for...

310
00:21:12,546 --> 00:21:14,385
Hi.

311
00:21:14,386 --> 00:21:15,945
Hi. Come in.

312
00:21:15,946 --> 00:21:19,745
Right.

313
00:21:19,746 --> 00:21:21,825
It's Nathan, right?

314
00:21:21,826 --> 00:21:25,825
Right. I just wanted to swing by and
say hi, as one superhero to another.

315
00:21:26,986 --> 00:21:29,665
That's really sweet of you.

316
00:21:29,666 --> 00:21:32,785
So, how mad is all this?

317
00:21:32,786 --> 00:21:36,785
Totally mad. And look at you,
with your wonderful, amazing power.

318
00:21:37,626 --> 00:21:39,505
I saw what you did with
the guy in the wheelchair.

319
00:21:39,506 --> 00:21:43,505
That's like curing two
normal people. Double points.

320
00:21:49,826 --> 00:21:53,825
And so...I was wondering...
if you could maybe help me out

321
00:21:54,186 --> 00:21:56,625
with a small, personal
affliction of my own.

322
00:21:56,626 --> 00:21:58,305
Of course.

323
00:21:58,306 --> 00:22:00,025
What is it?

324
00:22:00,026 --> 00:22:01,545
Well...

325
00:22:01,546 --> 00:22:04,145
I appear to have contracted
a sexually transmitted

326
00:22:04,146 --> 00:22:07,025
disease of some kind.
I honestly don't know how I got it.

327
00:22:07,026 --> 00:22:10,105
I'm sorry. I don't do
sexually transmitted diseases.

328
00:22:10,106 --> 00:22:11,545
No?

329
00:22:11,546 --> 00:22:13,745
Because of the rubbing.

330
00:22:13,746 --> 00:22:16,585
Go to the doctors. They'll
give you some antibiotics.

331
00:22:16,586 --> 00:22:18,425
And how long will that take to work?

332
00:22:18,426 --> 00:22:22,025
Out there, there are loads of
drunken girls, staggering around,

333
00:22:22,026 --> 00:22:25,545
waiting to be shagged. Do you
really want to disappoint them?

334
00:22:25,546 --> 00:22:29,305
I'm sorry. I'm just not
prepared to spend my life

335
00:22:29,306 --> 00:22:30,945
rubbing other people's genitalia.

336
00:22:30,946 --> 00:22:33,025
C'mon. Just give it a quick rub.

337
00:22:33,026 --> 00:22:35,425
It's lovely and clean.
It's pine forest fresh.

338
00:22:35,426 --> 00:22:37,665
I'm not going to rub your cock.

339
00:22:37,666 --> 00:22:41,625
Where's your humanity?

340
00:22:41,626 --> 00:22:43,385
It's not going happen.

341
00:22:43,386 --> 00:22:46,105
OK?

342
00:22:46,106 --> 00:22:49,785
No. That's fair enough.

343
00:22:49,786 --> 00:22:51,425
I suppose have only myself

344
00:22:51,426 --> 00:22:55,425
and the dirty bitch
I had sex with to blame.

345
00:22:59,906 --> 00:23:01,865
What's that?

346
00:23:01,866 --> 00:23:05,865
That's my Mother Theresa, Young
Humanitarian of the Year Award.

347
00:23:07,626 --> 00:23:10,825
It's for the charity
work I did in India.

348
00:23:10,826 --> 00:23:14,585
Good for you,
and good for Mamma Theresa.

349
00:23:14,586 --> 00:23:16,625
God rest her beautiful soul.

350
00:23:16,626 --> 00:23:19,505
Myself next year myself.

351
00:23:19,506 --> 00:23:20,625
Gotcha!

352
00:23:20,626 --> 00:23:21,905
Urgh!

353
00:23:21,906 --> 00:23:23,785
Get off!

354
00:23:23,786 --> 00:23:24,625
SQUELCH!

355
00:23:24,626 --> 00:23:27,585
SQUELCH!
Oh!

356
00:23:27,586 --> 00:23:29,745
(SCREAMS)

357
00:23:29,746 --> 00:23:33,265
Fuck, what have I done?

358
00:23:33,266 --> 00:23:34,785
Hey...look...just...

359
00:23:34,786 --> 00:23:36,945
heal yourself! All right?

360
00:23:36,946 --> 00:23:38,465
Heal yourself. That's it.

361
00:23:38,466 --> 00:23:42,465
Rub it better, now, rub it better.

362
00:23:45,106 --> 00:23:46,745
What did you do?

363
00:23:46,746 --> 00:23:48,785
It was an accident.

364
00:23:48,786 --> 00:23:50,545
She was rubbing my cock.

365
00:23:50,546 --> 00:23:54,505
She started foaming at the mouth,
she tripped, and impaled herself

366
00:23:54,506 --> 00:23:58,505
on her Mother Theresa, Young
Humanitarian of the Year Award.

367
00:23:58,706 --> 00:24:00,945
I know it sounds unlikely...

368
00:24:00,946 --> 00:24:04,945
But there it is.

369
00:24:07,771 --> 00:24:11,170
The police are going to
want to interview you again,

370
00:24:11,171 --> 00:24:15,170
but they seem to be satisfied
that Daisy's death was an accident.

371
00:24:15,291 --> 00:24:20,330
Oh! Thank you!

372
00:24:21,851 --> 00:24:23,570
I just want to say...

373
00:24:23,571 --> 00:24:25,210
it's a tragedy.

374
00:24:25,211 --> 00:24:29,210
And no-one is more upset
about this than me.

375
00:24:29,411 --> 00:24:31,290
But what's done, is done.

376
00:24:31,291 --> 00:24:35,290
I think we should all move on, huh?
Stronger, fitter, wiser.

377
00:24:36,771 --> 00:24:38,810
This could only happen to you.

378
00:24:38,811 --> 00:24:40,970
She was going to cure the world.

379
00:24:40,971 --> 00:24:43,450
There's only so many times
I can say I'm sorry!

380
00:24:43,451 --> 00:24:47,450
And if you're so cut up about it,
why don't you...

381
00:24:47,851 --> 00:24:50,930
..And fix this entire situation?
You know it doesn't work like that!

382
00:24:50,931 --> 00:24:54,890
I'm getting pretty sick
of hearing that! - Prick!

383
00:24:54,891 --> 00:24:58,890
You fuck up like this again,
and I will finish you.

384
00:25:00,091 --> 00:25:04,090
I'll try not to.

385
00:25:04,331 --> 00:25:08,330
SCREAMING

386
00:25:20,211 --> 00:25:23,410
I'll tell you something, though.

387
00:25:23,411 --> 00:25:25,050
It's all cleared up.

388
00:25:25,051 --> 00:25:26,970
You know... Down there.

389
00:25:26,971 --> 00:25:30,050
As clean as a new pin.

390
00:25:30,051 --> 00:25:34,050
KNOCK ON DOOR

391
00:25:34,331 --> 00:25:38,330
If you're still in hiding, you should
probably do your invisible thing.

392
00:25:43,611 --> 00:25:47,610
Oh, hey!

393
00:25:52,251 --> 00:25:53,690
You're alone?

394
00:25:53,691 --> 00:25:57,690
Uh-huh. So are you all right then?

395
00:25:59,931 --> 00:26:03,930
I thought I'd feel
like we'd made it.

396
00:26:04,451 --> 00:26:08,290
You know, all this fame stuff.
It just...

397
00:26:08,291 --> 00:26:10,650
feels a bit... pointless.

398
00:26:10,651 --> 00:26:11,810
Of course it's pointless.

399
00:26:11,811 --> 00:26:15,810
That's why famous people pretend
to care about the Africans.

400
00:26:16,371 --> 00:26:19,610
- He knew it would be like this.
- Who?

401
00:26:19,611 --> 00:26:21,490
Simon.

402
00:26:21,491 --> 00:26:25,050
We should've listened to him.

403
00:26:25,051 --> 00:26:27,090
Do you know where he is?

404
00:26:27,091 --> 00:26:31,090
No. No, I haven't seen him.

405
00:26:31,931 --> 00:26:35,530
Nuts?

406
00:26:35,531 --> 00:26:39,330
He said picking up litter
was the best time of his life.

407
00:26:39,331 --> 00:26:43,330
I think that demonstrates
his rather low expectations.

408
00:26:45,091 --> 00:26:49,090
If you see him,
tell him he was right.

409
00:26:50,851 --> 00:26:54,850
Cheerio.

410
00:27:00,011 --> 00:27:03,890
What's up with you?

411
00:27:03,891 --> 00:27:07,890
I never said that,
about picking up litter.

412
00:27:23,531 --> 00:27:27,530
LIFT PINGS

413
00:28:44,851 --> 00:28:48,850
When was that taken?

414
00:28:52,771 --> 00:28:54,490
Where did you get that?

415
00:28:54,491 --> 00:28:56,850
Someone gave it to me.

416
00:28:56,851 --> 00:29:00,850
Who?

417
00:29:03,931 --> 00:29:06,010
What is this place?

418
00:29:06,011 --> 00:29:08,890
The guy in the mask...

419
00:29:08,891 --> 00:29:12,890
He lived here.

420
00:29:24,851 --> 00:29:28,850
Who is he?

421
00:29:30,651 --> 00:29:34,650
It's you.

422
00:30:02,851 --> 00:30:06,850
You came back, so that we could
be together in the future.

423
00:30:10,931 --> 00:30:13,010
You...

424
00:30:13,011 --> 00:30:14,250
And me...

425
00:30:14,251 --> 00:30:15,890
We're together?

426
00:30:15,891 --> 00:30:19,890
Yeah, we were,
and we will be again...

427
00:30:21,371 --> 00:30:25,370
I hope we will be.

428
00:30:27,091 --> 00:30:30,530
You think you're surprised?
Imagine being me!

429
00:30:30,531 --> 00:30:34,530
You're still you,
but you're different.

430
00:30:35,131 --> 00:30:38,690
You're more confident, and...

431
00:30:38,691 --> 00:30:42,130
My power doesn't work on you.

432
00:30:42,131 --> 00:30:46,130
You can touch me.

433
00:30:50,211 --> 00:30:51,730
And then I die?

434
00:30:51,731 --> 00:30:54,690
You saved my life.

435
00:30:54,691 --> 00:30:58,650
You said
if you didn't come back and die,

436
00:30:58,651 --> 00:31:01,210
you wouldn't become
the person you needed to be.

437
00:31:01,211 --> 00:31:05,090
It's like in Terminator, when John
Connor sends Kyle Reece back in time

438
00:31:05,091 --> 00:31:08,170
so that he can be his father.

439
00:31:08,171 --> 00:31:12,170
I have no idea what
you're talking about.

440
00:31:14,971 --> 00:31:18,170
You protected us.

441
00:31:18,171 --> 00:31:22,170
You're like a proper superhero.

442
00:31:24,731 --> 00:31:28,730
When do I turn into this superhero?

443
00:31:33,291 --> 00:31:36,730
So what happens now?

444
00:31:36,731 --> 00:31:40,730
I have no fucking idea.

445
00:31:52,011 --> 00:31:56,010
I don't understand.

446
00:31:56,531 --> 00:31:59,330
Since this whole thing
with the storm went public,

447
00:31:59,331 --> 00:32:01,810
I've been taking
on new clients all the time.

448
00:32:01,811 --> 00:32:05,170
The truth is, I don't have time
to represent you any more.

449
00:32:05,171 --> 00:32:08,210
I'm sorry.

450
00:32:08,211 --> 00:32:12,210
# DELIBES: The Flower Duet

451
00:32:19,491 --> 00:32:23,490
What are you doing?

452
00:32:30,971 --> 00:32:32,970
That's the cheese you had earlier,

453
00:32:32,971 --> 00:32:36,970
slowly clogging your arteries...

454
00:33:02,051 --> 00:33:06,050
OK, stand by for rehearsals, please.

455
00:33:25,371 --> 00:33:28,090
If blowing my brains out
live on national television

456
00:33:28,091 --> 00:33:29,730
doesn't get the ladies juiced,

457
00:33:29,731 --> 00:33:33,210
nothing will.

458
00:33:33,211 --> 00:33:35,170
How do I look?

459
00:33:35,171 --> 00:33:36,810
Like a prick in a suit.

460
00:33:36,811 --> 00:33:39,850
That's sexual jealousy,
because of my prowess as a lover.

461
00:33:39,851 --> 00:33:42,210
Is it true
you shit yourself when you die?

462
00:33:42,211 --> 00:33:43,770
That only happened the once.

463
00:33:43,771 --> 00:33:46,770
And I've got a bucket standing by,
just in case.

464
00:33:46,771 --> 00:33:49,010
Do you want that?
Just lost my appetite...

465
00:33:49,011 --> 00:33:51,730
No, I'm lactose intolerant.

466
00:33:51,731 --> 00:33:53,410
Does that mean you're afraid of cows?

467
00:33:53,411 --> 00:33:55,890
No. It means I don't eat
cheese or dairy products.

468
00:33:55,891 --> 00:33:59,890
Oh. I never knew that about you.

469
00:34:00,371 --> 00:34:02,690
Are you all right?

470
00:34:02,691 --> 00:34:04,290
Yeah.

471
00:34:04,291 --> 00:34:06,250
We'll talk later, yeah?

472
00:34:06,251 --> 00:34:09,690
Have I got time to go to the toilet
before you shoot yourself?

473
00:34:09,691 --> 00:34:13,530
A piss, yes. A shit, probably not.

474
00:34:13,531 --> 00:34:17,530
I'll come with you.

475
00:34:22,651 --> 00:34:26,650
TOILET FLUSHES

476
00:34:30,771 --> 00:34:33,810
DRIPPING

477
00:34:33,811 --> 00:34:35,890
Oh, gross!

478
00:34:35,891 --> 00:34:37,370
What's that?

479
00:34:37,371 --> 00:34:41,370
There's something dripping
from the ceiling. I dunno what...

480
00:34:41,651 --> 00:34:45,650
Kelly?

481
00:34:48,451 --> 00:34:49,490
Kelly?

482
00:34:49,491 --> 00:34:52,210
Quit dicking around.

483
00:34:52,211 --> 00:34:56,210
DOOR BANGS

484
00:35:13,131 --> 00:35:16,530
Ah! Christ!

485
00:35:16,531 --> 00:35:17,570
Sorry, man!

486
00:35:17,571 --> 00:35:21,570
What fucking prick did that?

487
00:35:22,051 --> 00:35:24,690
This guy really is
the most unbelievable tool.

488
00:35:24,691 --> 00:35:25,890
I told you.

489
00:35:25,891 --> 00:35:27,850
BEEPING

490
00:35:27,851 --> 00:35:28,890
Roll titles.

491
00:35:28,891 --> 00:35:32,890
Live in 20.

492
00:35:46,531 --> 00:35:50,530
Going live in five, four, three...

493
00:35:54,971 --> 00:35:57,210
And now, for your viewing pleasure,

494
00:35:57,211 --> 00:36:01,210
I will blow my brains out,
live on national television.

495
00:36:04,131 --> 00:36:08,130
Enjoy.

496
00:36:14,291 --> 00:36:17,290
Alisha?

497
00:36:17,291 --> 00:36:21,290
Kelly?

498
00:36:29,731 --> 00:36:33,730
What is that?

499
00:36:37,571 --> 00:36:39,730
It's milk.

500
00:36:39,731 --> 00:36:41,890
That milk guy?

501
00:36:41,891 --> 00:36:45,890
We need to get to the hotel.

502
00:36:47,971 --> 00:36:49,890
Oh, shit.

503
00:36:49,891 --> 00:36:53,890
No!

504
00:36:58,531 --> 00:37:02,530
MUFFLED TALKING

505
00:37:23,971 --> 00:37:27,530
And that, boys and girls, is how
you shoot yourself in the head.

506
00:37:27,531 --> 00:37:29,730
I wouldn't recommend
trying it at home.

507
00:37:29,731 --> 00:37:33,730
APPLAUSE

508
00:37:44,611 --> 00:37:48,450
I'm not being funny, but you might
want to fuck off out of here.

509
00:37:48,451 --> 00:37:51,530
I'm expecting some seriously horny,
barely legal groupies

510
00:37:51,531 --> 00:37:53,090
knocking on that door any second.

511
00:37:53,091 --> 00:37:55,050
They're walking into a trap.

512
00:37:55,051 --> 00:37:56,530
What's that?

513
00:37:56,531 --> 00:37:58,010
The milk guy.

514
00:37:58,011 --> 00:38:00,010
He's got Alisha.

515
00:38:00,011 --> 00:38:02,530
What? When did this happen?

516
00:38:02,531 --> 00:38:06,330
He killed me, Nathan.

517
00:38:06,331 --> 00:38:10,330
I'm fucking dead.

518
00:38:24,271 --> 00:38:26,510
Curtis, wait!

519
00:38:26,511 --> 00:38:30,510
Alisha? Nikki?

520
00:38:32,791 --> 00:38:36,790
Curtis?

521
00:38:45,951 --> 00:38:49,950
You nipple-sucking, breast-feeding
momma's boy! You killed her!

522
00:38:56,591 --> 00:39:00,590
Does that feel strange?

523
00:39:08,751 --> 00:39:12,670
You can't...kill me.

524
00:39:12,671 --> 00:39:16,670
I'm...immortal...

525
00:39:18,711 --> 00:39:22,150
I'm not trying to kill you.

526
00:39:22,151 --> 00:39:26,150
That's the mozzarella wrapping
itself around your central cortex.

527
00:39:29,151 --> 00:39:33,150
You're going to spend the rest
of your life as a vegetable.

528
00:39:52,071 --> 00:39:56,070
PHONE RINGS

529
00:40:07,711 --> 00:40:11,710
Nathan?

530
00:40:31,351 --> 00:40:35,350
PHONE STILL RINGING

531
00:42:41,151 --> 00:42:45,150
Why did you do it?

532
00:42:47,111 --> 00:42:51,110
Because the only time people like me
really get noticed

533
00:42:51,111 --> 00:42:53,750
is when we kill
a shitload of people.

534
00:42:53,751 --> 00:42:56,590
They'll talk about this for years.

535
00:42:56,591 --> 00:42:59,710
They'll talk about me.

536
00:42:59,711 --> 00:43:03,590
Monsieur grand fromage!

537
00:43:03,591 --> 00:43:07,350
That cheese shit won't
work on me, dickhead.

538
00:43:07,351 --> 00:43:09,390
I'm lactose intolerant.

539
00:43:09,391 --> 00:43:13,390
Then maybe I'll just
have to stab you instead.

540
00:43:34,631 --> 00:43:36,470
They're all dead.

541
00:43:36,471 --> 00:43:38,550
You have to save them.

542
00:43:38,551 --> 00:43:42,550
We have to go back to before we were
famous. We have to stop him. Do it!

543
00:44:04,191 --> 00:44:06,510
What are you looking at?

544
00:44:06,511 --> 00:44:10,510
Nothing.

545
00:44:16,391 --> 00:44:20,390
What?

546
00:44:20,551 --> 00:44:24,550
There's something we need to do.

547
00:44:35,551 --> 00:44:39,550
DOORBELL

548
00:44:57,951 --> 00:44:59,710
That's it, then.

549
00:44:59,711 --> 00:45:02,190
It's over.

550
00:45:02,191 --> 00:45:04,910
No more community service.

551
00:45:04,911 --> 00:45:07,510
I thought we'd be, like,
all celebrating and shit.

552
00:45:07,511 --> 00:45:11,510
It doesn't really feel
like there's much to celebrate.

553
00:45:12,351 --> 00:45:14,870
I just want you to know...

554
00:45:14,871 --> 00:45:18,870
being here with all of you, it's
been the best time of my life.

555
00:45:22,271 --> 00:45:26,270
I had a week in Spain last year.
That was way better.

556
00:45:26,471 --> 00:45:30,230
What is up with all of you?
All the shit we've been through.

557
00:45:30,231 --> 00:45:34,230
We're all here. We're all alive.

558
00:45:34,471 --> 00:45:35,510
We made it.

559
00:45:35,511 --> 00:45:39,510
Great(!) And I have no job,
no money, no girlfriend,

560
00:45:40,511 --> 00:45:44,510
nowhere to live, no useful skills or
qualifications. OK, so I'm immortal.

561
00:45:46,231 --> 00:45:49,150
But other than that, I've
basically got fuck all going for me.

562
00:45:49,151 --> 00:45:53,150
What are we going to do tomorrow?
Or the day after that?

563
00:45:53,311 --> 00:45:55,350
Huh? We have just been shat out

564
00:45:55,351 --> 00:45:59,350
onto a huge pool of piss with all
the other long-term unemployable.

565
00:46:05,551 --> 00:46:09,310
Does anyone fancy a drink?

566
00:46:09,311 --> 00:46:11,950
Yeah, sure, man.

567
00:46:11,951 --> 00:46:15,230
Y'know, apart from all the killing
and the dying and stuff,

568
00:46:15,231 --> 00:46:19,230
this community service really wasn't as
bad as I thought it was going to be.

569
00:46:30,751 --> 00:46:34,750
# I don't know what's happened
to the kids today

570
00:46:35,231 --> 00:46:39,070
# I don't know what's happened
to the kids today

571
00:46:39,071 --> 00:46:43,070
# I don't know
what's happened to the kids today

572
00:46:43,631 --> 00:46:47,630
# I don't know what's happened
to the kids today

573
00:46:47,791 --> 00:46:51,790
# I don't know
what's happened to the kids today

574
00:46:51,871 --> 00:46:55,870
# I don't know what's happened
to the kids today. #

575
00:47:09,631 --> 00:47:11,950
I can give you your life back.

576
00:47:11,951 --> 00:47:13,710
There was this guy took my power.

577
00:47:13,711 --> 00:47:15,950
You sold your powers?

578
00:47:15,951 --> 00:47:16,910
Yeah, mate.

579
00:47:16,911 --> 00:47:20,870
That's how babies get turned into dwarves.
I like dwarves. Me too.

580
00:47:20,871 --> 00:47:22,830
My waters have broken!
The baby's coming!

581
00:47:22,831 --> 00:47:26,830
I'm Jesus Christ,
and I have been reborn.

582
00:47:27,591 --> 00:47:28,590
Where are you going?

583
00:47:28,591 --> 00:47:32,590
I'm going to kill Jesus.

584
00:48:04,031 --> 00:48:08,030
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