♪
The biggest challenge in my house is excess stuff.
Is this one of two main exits on the main floor?
-Yeah. -It's a safety issue.
The reason I moved out a year ago is because
I couldn't take the rats anymore.
I drives me crazy, but that's just the way it is.
Everybody else has checked out.
I've checked out too.
There's a huge storm moving in!
We need to focus on things that
we can let go of right now.
I'm not willing to just throw things away.
-That's mold. -But that's a vinegar wash.
That- You do not need this.
If we keep moving at the speed that we're moving
right now, there's no way we're going to get it done.
It's a mental health problem.
You can't keep all the furniture.
You have to shrink this!
You want to keep pressuring me,
we're gonna see more resistance than you want.
You can definitely see I don't live like you,
and I don't want to.
♪
[Ship horn in the distance]
♪
My name is Coral.
I was born in South Africa.
I come from a family of teachers.
Mostly schoolteachers.
It's always been about education for me.
I'm a fibre artist. I do upholstery...
Make soap.
I'm an herbalist.
I do canning and preserves.
I'm an avid reader.
I play the big double bass.
I suffer from enjoying doing too many things.
Over the years, I have collected a lot of stuff.
♪
I've always considered it a bit of a problem.
♪
When you come to my house,
it's not even easy to get into because
you have to step up into the house because
the rotting deck had to be pulled out.
The downstairs kitchen makes me feel really sad.
For a year or so, we had a gas leak.
We have rodent problems.
And, it just stopped being a place
that anybody was willing to use.
♪
The living room used to be the
gathering point for the family.
But now, it's just filled with...
crap.
The upstairs kitchen is the same way...
Congested.
The stuff is collections...
of personal items, but...
largely, a lot of reference texts and other...
learning tools.
I've always valued...
any opportunity that I've had...
to pass knowledge on to people.
Fun was always secondary to that.
All the fun in the world is great,
as long as safety and knowledge is occurring.
I'm just not lighthearted in that way,
as a person.
I guess I like to rescue some things that
need finishing or repair.
Some of the stuff are things that
I have collected towards specific goals.
I have over 50 coffee cans.
I have kept them to do an art installation or
shelving unit of some sort with them.
That has never come to pass.
I believe that I have a purpose,
that who I am and how I want to
pass on knowledge is part of that.
I always have envisioned
putting together a resource centre.
I want my home to be a haven for...
anybody seeking knowledge, self-awareness,
creative expression.
This stuff is here for creativity, but it's buried.
♪
The city sent a list of things that needed
to be upgraded or repaired.
The biggest fear is that the financial crap
will take us down.
And that's scary.
The state the house has been in has already kept me
at a pretty higher than normal stress level.
My name is Jade, and I am Coral's middle daughter.
My mom is probably the most unique person.
She's never afraid to be herself...
And she's... full of knowledge,
so full of talent, so full of skill.
She read us stories, she taught us art.
And, when we moved into that house,
she kept that space for that purpose.
Ultimately, she has a problem,
and she's incapable of controlling how much stuff
she's gathering, and she hasn't been
able to manage that.
The reason I moved out a year ago is because
I couldn't take the rats anymore.
♪
They were eating my clothes.
They were dying on my floor.
I had to get out, and I left it as it is, and like,
I'll take full blame for that.
She basically moved out without really
getting rid of anything.
I just left the door closed on it because
I was dealing with rodents in my kitchen.
♪
My name is Michael,
and I am Coral's husband.
We've raised three daughters on a single income.
For 30 years of my working life,
it was non-profit organizations...
which doesn't really pay well, but...
no one ever went short of any necessity.
Coral's energy attracted me the moment we met.
♪
She's creative...
intelligent, and I still find her beautiful
after all these years.
But as we all do, she has her challenges.
She has her idiosyncrasies.
Every time she went to a yard sale or a second-hand store,
and saw something in really good shape...
she couldn't leave it there.
♪
Over the years, the energy inside the house
just became more and more congested.
♪
Her fabric art, her woodworking interests...
all of that was just...
put aside because there was something
more important going on.
And, of course, none of those materials ever left because
she was still aware of her desire to make use of them.
I'll love her whether she keeps it or loses it,
I don't care.
My name is Khendra, and I'm Coral's daughter.
♪
I sleep on a bunk bed, but because there's, like...
too many mattresses, the mattresses are too thick,
there's like literally that much space.
There's clothes everywhere because the dressers I have...
don't have space in them because
they're not my dressers.
It's a pain to try and...
navigate through all the piles of stuff,
so I just kind of avoid it.
The thing about my mom is she was a stay-at-home mom
for 20 years and...
now she's done raising her kids.
But, in the past four years, like,
she just hasn't been able to, like,
move forward with the idea that
she doesn't have to do that anymore.
Most of the time, I'm not at home.
It's pretty much how I do it,
I just spend time other places.
My name is Tanya.
I am Coral's younger sister.
Coral got all the attention, but...
not necessarily in a healthy way.
It was just a lot of scrutiny and attention.
She was the eldest.
My brother is just a year younger.
And, even like at the age of four,
she was responsible for him.
My mom was very glamorous,
and smart, and feisty.
But we didn't talk.
She just told me to do things, you know,
peel the carrots, chop the ginger.
I was just like a little servant.
Didn't feel very loved because
there was no affection.
I think my sister took it upon herself to parent me...
where they weren't parenting me,
I think just always felt the weight of responsibility
on her shoulders.
My parents were busy being a really bad couple at the time.
My dad was running around, my mother was erratic,
it was all a mess, and I was absorbing all of this...
crazy tension, and I just played along until
I got to an age where I went:
"This game isn't fun anymore."
♪
There have been a lot of theories as to why my sister
started developing a hoarding problem.
I think it has...
more to do with the fact that she never had a place of
her own, that she could call her own, and once she did,
she just couldn't help but to fill it with all the things
that she considered necessary, valuable,
in that kind of antiquity way.
I feel that the pace of society today is too fast...
And, we are losing the ability to do things.
We purchase things,
but we don't know how things are made.
We use things, but don't know
how to maintain them or save them.
And so, we're very wasteful.
♪
My days are spent trying to organize
a little bit of the chaos somewhere.
Everything has become so piled up
that I can't access things.
Everybody else is checked out.
They're on their devices.
They don't do chores anymore.
I've checked out too, but I'm not
gaining anything from checking out.
I'm just watching a little bit more of my life fall apart.
It does make me feel hopeless, really...
because the effort required to attack it
has been beyond my energy levels
and ability to address alone.
Every Christmas, she would like invite everyone over,
and there was never any space for anybody to sit down.
[Voice breaking] All I want is for her to have the space
to be able to invite people back into her home and
to be able to, you know, spend time with the people
that she loves, the people that she cares about.
♪
The biggest challenge in my house is...
excess stuff.
It's not serving me, it's not serving my family,
it's not serving the community,
it's not serving God, it's not serving anything.
I'm getting older, right.
There's only so many years that I probably have left.
And, with those years, what do I want to do?
You know, I'd like to actively participate in
some of my creative arts and talents,
even if it's just for me, you know.
I haven't been ready to discard things up until now.
♪
I'm Natasha Sharma.
I'm a therapist with a doctorate in clinical psychology,
and I specialize in anxiety disorders,
including hoarding.
[Knocking]
♪
[Creaking]
-Hi, Coral? -Hello.
-Hi, I'm Natasha. -Oh, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you as well. May I come in?
-Yes, please come in. -Thank you.
It was a bit tricky to get up to the front door,
but I made it.
How's your morning been?
Um, I'm pretty good.
Can you share with me a little bit about your home?
Like how long you've been living here and
who lives here with you?
We've been living here I think about 14 years.
It's my husband and I,
and my youngest daughter's with us right now.
And when would you say this began to be a problem?
It hasn't been an ongoing problem,
although once I started raising children,
I've had a fair amount of stuff.
In the last four years, five years,
I've lost energy as I've aged.
The kids have stopped participating
in chores and so forth.
It's becoming a bit of a problem.
We've also had pests.
In the last couple years it's been, you know,
wood rats that have taken over.
I'm sure we'll have lots to talk about.
I'd love to see the rest of your home, Coral,
if that would be okay with you?
-That'd be fine. -Wonderful.
-Okay, let's start. -I'll follow you.
-Okay. -Alright.
So, as you can see, this is the living room.
Ah, be careful how you step.
Ah, as you can see, it's trying to do a
little bit of too many things at the same time.
Yeah.
Is anyone doing any actual living in here?
Not recently.
Part of the problem here is just I've always needed
a lot of engaging, like I like,
I like to engage with people.
And, as the kids have...
aged and got phones and got devices,
they've been off in their corners doing what they do
and, left me in sort of silence, right, silence,
and that has definitely impacted my ability...
to be willing to...
constantly maintain, maintain.
So, I- it's been a factor.
Alright.
Would you like to show me the rest of the house?
-Sure, let's go. -Wonderful, I'll follow you.
Okay, okay.
♪
So, you've got to do a bit of twisting and turning here.
It's like a little, is this a-
It's a maze, a bit of a maze.
Kind of feels like one.
Yeah, it's the part that drives me the most crazy.
What's happening here? What's...?
A non-functioning washer and dryer.
This is- oh, the washer and dryer's under there.
There's, yeah, there's the dryer.
The washer is what was in the kitchen.
And, so, this is mostly
my dirty laundry and collected laundry.
And this dryer is blocking the back door.
Mhm. Oh!
-There's a door behind that. -Okay.
Is this one of two main exits on the main floor?
You've got the front door and then this one.
How do you feel about that?
♪
I think I stopped letting myself feel about that for...
a long time ago.
It's concerning.
It's a safety issue, for sure.
-Do you see it? -Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
-Okay. -Let's move on.
-Let's go. -There's more to see.
We'll walk this way.
So, this was converted into a music room.
And that's my double bass,
because I play the double bass.
My husband plays the violins.
The kids played the various horns and flutes.
Was this a room where people actually played regularly?
Was this an actual music room that was used to
for practicing and, and skill building?
It never really got to be that too much.
Let me show you upstairs.
Sounds great.
♪
-Careful. -Okay.
♪
How many books do you have, Coral?
Hm, thousands.
Is it okay if- I don't want to step on-
-Yeah, please. Whatever. -It's okay to step on this?
Yeah, you're not going to be able to
get through without stepping on things.
We'll just take a look, and then get out of here,
'cause there's really no way to get fully in here.
I haven't even been in here.
Wow. This is Jade's old room.
Well, yeah. So she moved in a year, ah... ago.
A year and a half ago, I don't know, during COVID.
And left here about a year ago.
And left her room like this. The door's been closed.
So, rats have been in here,
probably destroying the bed and things.
And, um, you know, I wonder if...
she's developing a hoarding habit.
-Alright. -Okay.
You'll have to go ahead of me.
Let's make our way back this way.
♪
So, this is Khendra's room.
Mhm.
What's been your parenting approach?
What- How would you describe it?
Well, I'm the tough nut, and he's the softy.
Have you tried to put limits on them
as teenagers and adults?
That sense of authority, like this is your home?
Yeah, I have attempted to.
-Uh-huh? -But...
There's a little bit of disdain. A lack of interest in
being part of the solution to the problem.
On their- from their end?
Yeah, and...
you know, I mean, I think...
if it gets cleaned up,
they will do a better job of maintaining it.
[Natasha] I don't think she makes the connection between
how unrealistic it is to expect them to clean up
after themselves when she's not able to do it, herself.
So, this is the upstairs kitchen.
This is supposed to be a production kitchen.
Mhm.
I make herbal preparations and
I like to can and do preserves.
Is this a hobby you've always had or...?
Well, some of it I learned from my grandmother.
We used to do peaches, and pears, and jam.
And then, the herbs and stuff...
a little bit I learned from my grandmother.
But mostly, I've been studying herbs and
working with them for, you know, over 30 years.
[Natasha] Each of these rooms is like a hodgepodge.
It's a mishmash of stuff.
There's no dedicated space for any one interest or hobby.
Coral seems to have a lot of...
visions and ideas for things she wants to do,
hobbies she wants to take up...
things she'd like to try. But my sense is,
she's never actualized any of these things.
This is the upstairs bathroom.
And it's the place that we bathe.
And, Khendra has adopted it a little bit,
so it's a bit messier than it needs to be.
I do hear a lot of...
emphasis on their contribution.
And I'm curious if you can see...
Are you aware of that,
that there's an emphasis on what
the kids have done to contribute to this?
Ah, yeah.
♪
Well, I mean, I definitely have some
responsibility in it, right?
Do you think you're blaming the kids?
Um, well, I'd say I think it sounds like that.
I am definitely...
their involvement or their lack of involvement
is definitely a factor.
[Natasha] What is your vision
for what happens with this home?
[Coral] I'm hoping to divest myself of
a lot of unneeded things, and reclaim the space.
The city building standards have given us notice of
things that need to be done.
What happens if you don't meet the
list that they've outlined?
Like, big fine: $25,000 fine or something.
Whoa! Okay, that's, that's a big fine.
Financial stress is never a good thing,
but my concern in this case is it being the only
motivator for Coral to do what she's doing,
I hope that you will take advantage of myself.
I'm here throughout this process to help you through
some of the emotional hurdles that I think are
invariably going to come up.
I don't get a sense of any really strong
external factors that could be promoting
an internal change for her.
My sense is that she's doing this to
ensure that she doesn't receive a fine.
♪
When you're good at one or two things,
it becomes very easy to choose your focus.
But when you're good at tons of things,
or when you have tons of interests,
it can create that disorganized feeling.
Which one do I go for? What do I do?
And I really see this in Coral.
And I think this might be contributing to her
not trying or not actualizing any of these
many interests that she has.
♪
Hi, Coral, hi, Mike.
-Hi. -Hi.
I'd like to introduce you both to Julio,
our professional organizer. -How are you?
-Hi, Julio. -Pleased to meet you.
My name is Julio Rivera, and I'm a professional organizer
who specializes in hoarding cleanups.
Julio, when you take Tanya and Jade inside,
a couple of things to keep in mind.
The home is a mix of
treasures, beautiful things.
I think, Coral, you have so many passion projects.
Some of them realized, some of them started,
some of them finished, unfinished,
and they're all kind of throughout this home.
One of the things to keep in mind is how we are going to
curate what's in there, and really bring out what is
most important to you, Coral, so that you can
actually focus on it and enjoy what's...
important to you in this home.
That'd be great.
Would you like to show me inside?
-Absolutely. -Okay, after you.
♪
Alright, let's watch our step here.
Ooh, yeah, be careful.
Alright...
I have not been up here in years.
♪
-Okay, be careful. -Oh wow, okay.
I actually just almost tripped.
Okay, what is this room supposed to be?
It used to be a second living room.
-Okay. -Um...
It... uh.
I gotta see what's around the corner here.
-Got some mold over here. -A few years.
Man, water damage.
-Yeah, mold over there. -Yep.
First thing I noticed
when I walk into this place was the smell.
I think this is where Mike hangs out after work.
This is his relaxation spot.
This is the relaxing area?
This is his relaxation spot,
where he plays on a laptop, and...
It's a little concerning because I feel like
there's a lot of weight up here.
Yeah, a lot of furniture that's not even being used
and doesn't need to be up here.
You're in this room and
you don't feel like you can breathe.
You don't feel like there's space to breathe.
To be honest, I, I don't feel safe in here.
♪
-What's this space? -It was a kitchen.
Oh, my!
I mean, there's a stove back here...
and a freezer right here, and a sink, and a counter,
and a cupboard, and a fridge,
but it's not being used as a kitchen.
When was the last time they actually used this space?
I think the year that we moved into the house, at most.
And you, you're a little claustrophobic?
I'm very claustrophobic, and this,
this scares me, to be honest.
And looking into these boxes is going to...
be a little difficult for me when that time comes,
but all in the name of love.
It looks like a serious problem to me.
It is a serious problem.
Okay, because we've got some issues here.
We have some water damage here on the ceiling.
It looks like we got a lot of garbage here.
This has been my reality for a long time.
-Okay. -So...
♪
[Effort grunting]
Are you serious?
Hold on, somebody sleeps here?
Yeah, Khendra sleeps right here.
And you know what? Ultimately,
I feel like most of this clutter right here,
she has made herself. -Okay.
And all of this clothes is hers.
But the boxes and the stuff up top,
my mom definitely put there.
Alright, just watch your step here.
There's a lot of random stuff here.
This is probably one of the most cluttered rooms,
do you remember this? -Yes, absolutely.
I stopped living in here because
I would be laying in bed,
and the rats would be crawling under my bed and...
-Sounds super unhealthy. -Yeah, it was.
It was not my favorite.
♪
I know what you should see.
This is the kitchen.
This room is probably going to be the easiest to clear-
The cleanest in the house, I would say.
This room is the reason I stopped coming to this house.
Oh, I can feel it-
there's a serious airflow problem in here.
In the whole house.
It's because stuff is piled so high, you know, as...
it, it feels like the walls are closing in on you
sometimes because of how high she stacked the piles,
and then how far in they come.
-It's, it's a lot. -It is a lot.
-Where's the sitting area? -Oh, that couch was-
It's under- that couch- It's under those boxes.
I've been here the whole time that it's accumulated,
and it's never felt out of the ordinary to me until
I go into somebody else's house.
You can walk into their house and there's space.
That's when it hits me, it's not when I'm here.
When I'm here, this is just my life.
This is, this is the house I grew up in,
and this is just my mom's home.
♪
How is all this stuff affecting your relationship
with your mom?
Ah, well...
I think that when I was younger,
it affected my relationship with her a great deal
more than it does now.
Like, when I had to, you know...
earn my right to my own bedroom,
and I had to- you know,
I was being held responsible for
sorting through the stuff that she had piled in that
room in order to have my own bed to sleep in.
I used to feel like, you know, that was personal,
like it was something she was doing to me instead of,
you know, just that she has a problem and,
she hasn't been able to get a handle on it for years.
If anyone tries to talk to her about...
you know, "Can you see it?"
She, A, doesn't.
And B, even when she does, she likes to transfer-
And justify it.
Yeah, she likes to either justify it or
she'll transfer the blame.
So, that's going to be the challenge because
I think she has a hard time understanding that
it has to begin with her.
This is such a big house.
There's a lot of potential fire hazards.
There's so much garbage everywhere.
The weight limit of the upstairs are unknown.
And, I don't know how many people I can have up there
at once, so we gotta minimize that risk.
We have two older people that live in this home.
This is an emergency,
and we need to treat it as such.
♪ [Suspenseful]
♪
I'm not sure what's going on with Coral yet.
She's very complex.
And, I'm still learning about what motivates her.
She's primed a narrative and a mindset for herself,
which has almost resigned herself to
the situation around her.
This process is going to be stressful for Coral.
I think it's going to be stressful for
the family members as well.
♪
They're both getting older, it doesn't seem like
they're capable of change without
some kind of outside catalyst,
which is what I'm hoping this will be.
My biggest fear is that no matter how hard
that we all try...
no matter how much progress that we all make,
that it won't be enough.
♪
[Vehicle beeping]
♪
Good morning, everybody.
It's good to see you all.
-Morning. -Wow, look at this group.
You have a lot of love.
A lot of family here with you
to help you through this process.
Coral, are you ready to start putting your family,
your passions, your plans for the future,
and actually, really yourself, above all the clutter?
I think so.
We're not just doing a big cleanup of the house
over the next few days.
We're looking to create lasting change for you,
so you can, not just enjoy your home,
but start to enjoy your life.
-Okay? -Okay.
Mike, give yourself permission to have more
opinions about this as we move through it.
I think it's important, so that you feel like you're
a team, and that this is your home together.
That's a fair expectation, and I...
will do my best to fulfill it.
I'd like to introduce the Extreme Clean Group.
Okay, they're going to be an extra set of hands.
We're going to need it, right.
-Yeah, that'll be good. -Okay.
One of my biggest concerns is the structural integrity
of the home, okay?
The upstairs has a lot of stuff.
That's putting a lot of weight on that structure.
So, I want to make sure that we get to that first to
make this place a little bit safer for everybody.
Is there any anxiety for you there?
I'm just concerned that things don't get jumbled
together, and that I see things before they go away.
So, I'm hearing that you want to make sure that something
doesn't slip through the cracks in this process,
that's valuable to you, sentimentally or otherwise,
and that we stay on top of that to make sure.
Yeah, that's my biggest concern.
As things come out, they will be placed on their
own individual tarp that matches that room.
So, do I have your permission
to begin clearing this home?
Yes.
All right, everybody, We ready to go?
-Let's go! -[Cheering]
Let's get this going, come on!
♪
This is going to be the upstairs living room.
♪
We have upstairs kitchen.
We have bedroom 1,
and we're going to have a bedroom 2.
I know my mom, and I know that her mind is not
easily changed, so that will probably be like
the biggest problem we run into,
is trying to get her to let go of stuff.
And then, not worry where it's going.
♪
[Julio] The back door is fully covered with stuff,
so it's really an unusable entry point.
-I know, it's hot in here. -I'm like melting.
We're going to have to declutter that area
just so that we have exit and entry points.
♪
All right! She's open!
I need a ramp over here, please.
♪
Thank you!
[Coral] Okay, so that- that was over there.
All the baskets...
-Right here? -Are right here.
That was in the kitchen upstairs,
not in that room.
That lamp was in Mike's area,
which is the other side of the blue line.
[Natasha] She said that she literally wants to see
everything that's in that house
before she makes a decision.
Given the volume of items in there,
I just don't think that's possible.
♪
This is my collection of spice racks.
We've got to let go of some of this stuff.
-The shelves? -Yeah.
They're damaged, they're water damaged.
Yep, those shelves can go.
-Yeah. -This is chipboard.
So, that one, I don't know.
Like, I, I don't want to keep it.
I just have never known what to do with it,
so I've just left it against the wall.
-Do want to say goodbye? -I...
-You have. -Bye! [Laughing]
Do you have a closet that this goes with?
I was thinking about putting it between my kitchen and
my living room at one point, but-
or that front closet there, but it's too tall.
-So, I guess we'll let it go. -Thank you.
But that could be definitely recycled.
Do we need it?
It looks like it's from the 70s.
[Laughing] Yeah. I'll let it go.
That's a yes?
-Yes, let it go. -Thank you.
♪
I guess this is garbage?
Right, so this is, this is what's been thrown out so far.
That's supposed to be being recycled, the wood.
And the baskets should be being recycled.
Like, because even that, that did not need to be broken.
-Which part? -See this?
That, that air filter just because I was
getting rid of it and willing to get rid of it,
doesn't mean that it needs to be thrown in the dumpster
if it's perfectly acceptable.
It looks possibly cracked.
It's cracked now because somebody threw it there.
My sense was that this was going to be one of
the areas that would be tough for you.
I'm not, I'm not,
I'm not willing to just throw things away.
-Yeah. -Right?
I mean, the whole point is that...
we've moved into a world where everything is just,
you know, buy it again, buy it again, buy it again.
And it's one thing if something is broken,
and beyond repair or beyond use, you know,
things that could be being sold at the Goodwill
don't need to end up in the dumpster.
Sure. Just so you know,
the dumpster doesn't actually go to a dump.
It goes to a sorting station first.
Okay.
If you can see this as, really,
a way for you to actually...
move to a more sustainable way of life, by having less,
by owning less, I think you're serving
your value system much better.
We have to do what feels uncomfortable sometimes
to make really big change.
-Okay. -Okay?
Want to get back to it?
Absolutely, there's a lot of stuff here and
it's scaring me. -Okay, let's go.
♪
-This couch is still intact. -Yeah.
This couch is not at all...
and there's no stuffing in it,
and it's literally falling apart. Can we take this-
What do you mean there's no stuffing in it?
There's no stuffing in it. The mice have been in here.
It's starting to break down. I'm just thinking that-
This is my foldout couch, but you see holes in it
that the mice were in, or not?
Well, you can see where they've been
tearing at things.
Can we see about the cushions that are inside of it?
All the baskets, what do you- Do you want to start-
Well, the baskets are, I mean,
the baskets are a collection.
There's very few of them that are kind of
crap baskets that I won't want to keep.
Bark.
I don't know if we got to that, so...
I'm just trying to keep it safe because it's bark, right?
Ah...
♪
This is her craft area, but like,
does she need an old drop cloth that is filthy?
That is stained and covered?
No, get rid of it.
♪
I feel useless right now, like I should just sit
in the corner and collect myself.
This is the challenge, right, we're dealing with somebody-
Who can't do it easily or quickly.
No, I know.
I've been the one here doing as much as I can,
but my process and hers are very different, so...
Yeah, none of this is comfortable.
Okay, it's not meant to be.
No, it's not for anybody. Some of us change-
have to change different things,
this is not where our problems are.
-Yeah, okay. -I get that.
I'm just going to go sit in the shade for a minute then.
Yeah, and that's supposed to be on that side, too.
That's that side of the room.
So, things are getting moved to the
wrong side of the room now.
The air mattress.
What about the air mattress?
-We don't need to keep it? -What air mattress?
This one. The one- I think it's the one
from when we went camping with the kids.
Right?
Tanya, do you want the air mattress?
I don't need an air mattress, no.
We're not moving fast enough through this.
She's not sorting fast enough.
She's losing her train of thought and
communicating with too many people,
instead of focusing on what needs to be done here.
Um...
♪
I don't know where to start.
[Thunder]
Sorry?
We're getting really backed up.
-I know. -It's about to rain.
...bit of a chat over there. I'm having a bit of difficulty.
I really believe that...
things shouldn't be going into the garbage.
Ah, or recycling, if they can be re-gifted.
But there doesn't seem to be a place that
I can let that stuff go.
All right, I can take care of that.
But my biggest issue is the storm that's moving in,
so we need to sort this a little bit faster if we can.
And I'm ready to tarp all of this up,
but once that happens,
we're going to lose the rest of the day.
A lot of time. Okay...
Okay.
[Thunder]
Are you keeping this?
Yeah, those two are keeps, I think, at this point.
I need to look at how many I have after that.
This one, this one has nothing in it, which is why-
Which one? Oh, well,
then that might be on the stereo still.
Yeah.
♪
Yeah, you don't need it anymore.
If you've only found one or two things,
then you can trust that I've done a fairly decent job.
Yeah, some of those I would- okay, so where is....?
Um...
Do we have a place for our Goodwills?
[Thunder]
There's a huge storm moving in.
I need books covered over here ASAP.
Bring that down, and let's get moving covering stuff.
♪ [Suspenseful]
It's the end of the first day,
and we've done maybe a room and a half out of six.
She really hasn't thrown anything out.
Tomorrow, we need to pick up the pace
or this is going nowhere.
[Thunder]
♪
It's day two.
I'm really praying that the weather turns in our favor,
because we still have...
five to six rooms to go, and up until now,
we've only done one and a half.
Coral's system, it's going way too slow.
♪
That's what they're for, yeah.
-So, these are keep? -This is a keep.
♪
Are those just duotangs and stuff?
Yeah, there are two folders maybe, but...
Because we'll still....
Are those donation or garbage?
-They're not- -Don't-
They just need to be wiped off.
They're really rusty, Mom.
You really don't think that they can be donated?
No, they're, it's like super rusty, like...
That one's rusty, is the other one rusty?
-It doesn't look rusty. -It's moldy on the back.
Yes, but that can be wiped off with...
-They're not, no, not really. -No?
Why can't it be wiped off?
No one's going to use it, no one's going to buy it.
Toss the top one and donate the other one.
♪
Garbage. This isn't- Let me see it.
Scrapbooking. No, it's scrapbooking.
Let me see it, it's literally not.
Yes, it is. It is...
stuff, there's stories and stuff that
you guys wrote in here.
There's no, there's literally nothing.
-It's like a schoolbook. -Look.
In learning, in learning to write and draw, so...
put them in with this.
All of them?
Yeah, well, there's four of us, right.
But we're not going to do any of this.
If we do a project together and there's four of us,
then we would want four of them, right?
Why not?
Because I'm, we're never going to do that.
Donate, yeah.
She has a different idea of
what is garbage and what isn't.
If my mom needs to donate something,
instead of fighting, you know, with her and saying,
"Put it in the garbage, put it in the garbage,"
we should just let her put it in the donate pile and
have it taken off the property.
As long as she feels like she's done her part-
that's what she needs in order to get this thing
moving and this, you know, finish up this process.
♪
So, this is the kitchen.
In here is where the most
rodent activity has been.
My name is James Karr.
I'm the field operations manager at
Truly Nolen Pest Control.
So, there's clear evidence of rat activity down here.
We can see fecal matter
sitting on the bottom over here.
If you look up top, you can see there's-
they've chewed the corner.
Yeah.
You can see right there where they've chewed the wood.
Oh, yeah, I can.
-Behind the gas line. -Yes.
[Jade] I think that it is actually quite...
astonishing that none of us...
have been like severely ill from it.
You know, because that is a lot of...
bio-hazardous waste to be breathing in all the time,
you know, that's a lot.
The rats would run through here every night,
all night long.
And this is definitely the reason why
I don't live here anymore.
Yeah, well, they've set up their own
ecosystem in here, right?
They don't need to go outside for things anymore because
they've got everything they need stored in here.
They've got shelter,
they've got water, they've got food.
So, that's the challenge when there's this much clutter.
Once you seal in those entry points,
now we've got two battlegrounds-
one inside, one outside.
The outside battleground, we put out some bait boxes,
the rodents will come along, eat the bait,
it'll take care of them.
Getting those sealed up is going to be paramount.
I'm optimistic that, soon, the house will no longer be
terrorized by rats who hold evil in their hearts.
♪
Even though the jars are dusty,
a lot of these were wild-crafted,
which means that I...
went out into the fields and harvested them myself,
or grew them myself.
What's your plan for this, given that some of it is old?
Well, I'd thought I could maybe go through it quickly.
I don't want to spend a lot of time on it because I know
there's not a lot of things that I would get rid of.
Keeper.
[Indistinct speaking] Keep.
♪
I notice you've got, like, there's definitely things
you're going to, and you know- you're honing in on
what is a definite keeper for you.
I'm wondering if you can do the opposite now,
if we could switch hands for a moment,
and you can do the same thing,
but choose what you know you don't want to keep,
what you know is either expired,
you don't want to use anymore,
and just tell me a little bit about
how you're deciding this as well, if you could.
♪
This was being used for...
one kind of formula that I haven't been making.
Right, so it's old and it's not being used.
It's old and it's not rare.
I can grow some more.
♪
So, Coral, what you're actually showing me is that,
not only are you able to specifically curate the things
that are worth saving, you've shown that
you're able to let go of things you know you can
replace or source down the road, if you ever
find yourself in a situation that you need it.
You have the capacity to do it.
I hope that you can apply it to...
all the other categories of stuff
as we go through the next few days.
♪
Okay.
Let's deal with this box right now, Coral.
This is... scrapbooking.
It is scrapbooking, but...
it is dusty, it is dirty.
Go through it, and, and, and see if there's even
five things in there you want to keep, just because it-
See, no, that's the point.
Yes, this is an actual box of things
I saved like that way.
Would you like to spend five minutes going through it?
We are going to have an abundance of
other boxes just like this one.
♪
I can probably have the girls do a box like this,
like I could probably empty this box-
No, they will not do...
they, they are invested in tossing those things out.
My sister's pace is slow.
This is the fastest she is going to go.
Everything's covered in...
mouse poop and some mold or mildew,
and she can't let it go.
And that is a challenge, because there's still
more things to come out of the house.
[Thia] There's a group of us, we are doing hard work.
I think it's a shame and mind boggling,
with all the help that you have right now,
that she's not taking full advantage of
what she has in front of her.
I need to confront you about something.
Did you tell someone to put that in the "keep"?
No.
We've all been very good about letting you choose.
I am saying pick three things out of that box that
you need to keep, only.
You can pick one, you pick none,
but if there- I'm not letting you grab more than
three things that you need out of that box.
So this is a Vaughn piece of pottery.
Uh-huh, you don't need the rocks in it,
get rid of them. You don't need them.
We go to the beach all the time.
You can get more rocks. You do not need this.
Okay, I threw away all the other little square boxes.
-No, you haven't! -The wooden ones, like this?
You have not thrown out all the boxes like that.
This is one tiny, little box, and we have...
-1, 2, 3, 4, 5... -Yeah, many, many, many.
...6 tents full of stuff that needs to be gone through.
Okay.
If she can't get rid of a box of sticks and stones and
pinecones, there is no point in going any further.
♪
I suffer from enjoying doing too many things.
Is anyone doing any actual living in here?
Not recently.
The reason I moved out a year ago is because
I couldn't take the rats anymore.
♪
There's so much stuff up there,
that I'm concerned for my team.
This is an emergency,
and we need to treat it as such.
There's a huge storm moving in!
There's a lot of stuff that still needs to be sorted,
there's a ton of stuff still in the house.
We need to focus on things that
we can let go of right now.
I'm not willing to just throw things away.
This is one tiny little box, and we have 1, 2, 3, 4, 5-
-Yeah, many, many, many. -6 tents full of stuff!
My sense is that on some mental level,
she could be stalling the process.
♪
If you see anything you're willing to donate...
-Yeah. -Right here.
Try not to spend too much time.
You've got to- instead of looking for,
"What is this, what is this?"
Go, "Is there anything in here I need to keep?"
So, this can go to the composter, Mike,
because they've been throwing-
I've been telling them to throw the...
pinecones to the composter rather than-
Where's the composter?
I don't know where the composter stuff is-
Doesn't matter, they can go- put 'em wherever they want.
Well, they- not in the dumpster.
I don't care.
What, you don't care if we save our pinecones?
We've got a bushel basket of them over by the fire.
It took me quite a few years to understand her process.
[Coral]...in the compost, and I don't want...
[Mike] ...And her inability to do it any other way.
And her process works for her quite well.
Doesn't work for me.
♪
My sense is you're not being completely honest about
how you feel about all this stuff.
If Coral died tomorrow,
there would be a dumpster under the window...
in the driveway, and stuff would just go out.
Do you see that you have a role...
in everything that's happening,
and how this home looks after all this?
I can advise, and I can wheedle,
and I can plead.
But if she's adamant about it,
she gets her say.
♪
I don't really care.
-But you care about her. -I care about her.
I know you do.
You don't have a lot of time left in this process,
and I'd really like for you to join your family...
and become a part of this, just to experience
what they're doing, while we still have time.
If nothing else, to be part of this experience so that
Coral can see you are a part of this.
♪
If my presence is not being helpful,
I will not stay.
-Okay. -Good?
-Shall we? -Sure!
Okay.
I'm constantly accused of standing around with
my hands in my pockets.
But, it's when she
determines that something needs to be done,
she has to examine it from so many sides,
that I can't just jump in and do it.
So, I disengage from the process.
Alright...
♪
Okay.
Why are you keeping it?
I'm getting rid of most of it, Mike.
No, but why are you keeping any of it?
Ouch.
-Well, I've been saving stuff... -Why?
...for a specific scrapbook that I want...
Ouch. [Muttering] Of... okay.
You know, we didn't take pictures.
So, I didn't take pictures and I...
decided instead to keep samples.
A lot of empty pages.
Yeah, it doesn't matter if it's empty pages, it's just...
-But I mean, the only... -What?
...purpose for keeping any of this crap, that I can see, is-
To torture them with it later?
Yeah, to show their kids when they have them, but I mean,
I'm gonna be dead, so I don't care.
She keeps talking about scrapbooking,
but I don't see that ever happening.
She wants to keep some of the stuff, so she keeps it,
which kind drives me crazy, but that's just the way it is.
-I think I'd like to- -Do you surrender, Mike?
-I surrender. -You surrender, Mike.
[Mike] I'm giving up. [Coral] Donate...
♪
[Julio] It's almost the end of the day.
Even with the full team going full speed,
we're still smashing into that 'Coral wall'.
-So, upstairs... -Yeah.
It's time now to clear the girls' rooms.
We're coming to a point where
we need to allow Jade and Mara to start
making some decisions for themselves here.
You know, those are their rooms.
Do you feel like you can trust them
to do that for you?
♪
Most of it. I, I...
In Mara's room, there's some of my clothes,
but that will be coming down with clothes, right?
Or some of their old clothes from when they were kids.
Do you see the value in allowing them to help you out?
I absolutely see the value in that.
I, I...
I feel the pressure of the time that's going.
Okay, because I really want to make sure that
we get this cleared out for you.
And right now, we're under a lot of pressure.
-Yeah. -So I appreciate that.
Thank you.
♪
Please bag things...
that you want to get rid of. -Yeah.
They'll bring it down for you.
Hand it over to them, and they'll...
place it downstairs in the keep, throw,
or donate piles for you.
-Okay. -Okay?
♪
-This? -I keep.
Okay, what about this, then?
Yeah, this is...
Yeah, I'm just...
trying to...
recognize it.
I think I want to keep it.
This one, I was keeping for the apothecary area.
You want to keep a lot of stuff...
and that space is only so big.
And you still have an entire downstairs to
deal with as well.
Because we still have all of this, all of that tent,
and a kitchen tent over there,
and that's not even dealing with the
laundry and the clothes.
And, you can take it for what it is,
but there's no way in God's green earth that,
as much as you want to go back into this house,
that this is going to be able to fit in your house without
it looking exactly like it did when it left the house.
As far as I understood this,
it's paring down the extraneous stuff, right?
Not getting rid of furniture, and then, oh,
feeling the need to stop at the first driveway
that has a cabinet-
I'm not going to fixate on the furniture 'cause
whether you keep all the furniture-
but you can't keep all the furniture.
All this stuff, you have to shrink this.
And it has to get done because otherwise,
everything in two days, with all the hard work
we've all been doing and the,
and the hours we've all been working,
and the rearranging of our lives that we've all
been doing to help you, is just going to
go back into that damn house...
and look exactly the way it did before we left!
And now you have people around you that
love you so damn much...
and just want your energy to be unstuck and free,
so that you can feel free to smile, and laugh,
and be happy, or do something that you love to do.
And I haven't seen you laugh in so damn long.
I'd like to see it again. It's been too long, Coral.
It's been far too long.
♪
Nothing feels like it's moving, in any direction,
to get this house in any way to what she says she wants,
or to what we're supposed to be doing here,
which is trying to purge.
You're just stuck in the same energy.
It's like you were stuck in the house.
You wanted help to feel unstuck.
You have to be able to go, "Do I really need to save it,
in case?" If you can't think of someone right now...
that is going to use it or could use it,
then it absolutely, at the very least,
can be donated, if not thrown out.
♪
-I don't know. -Like, do you disagree with-
No, thank you for the reminder.
Don't belabor points.
♪
That's not going to help.
I'm not sure I understand what that means.
You know, I said a lot, she said a lot.
It's emotionally charged, I get that.
You have to maximize on this opportunity.
♪
When was the last time this was used for...?
It's been a while. That was the one that was...
But are you willing to let it go because it's...
unnecessary to be in your way
once things start getting
put back in the house.
♪
Yeah, I'll let it go.
I'm proud of you, no, I seriously
am proud of you, very, very proud of you.
Nobody... nobody here is pretending
that we don't know this is hard.
Okay? It is hard.
Okay. So we will get this out now.
♪
Khendra's accumulated a lot of stuff.
The two bedrooms upstairs, the one that's Jade's,
and then one that was mine long, long ago,
before it became Khendra's...
Oh, my God. How much cat...
cat litter can be in here?
I can't really think of a time when
it's been cleared completely.
You know, I'm excited to see it happen.
[Coughing] Ew.
Ew, ew, okay, nope.
This is good enough to keep.
♪
All of my stuff is primarily garbage and
rat infested and destroyed.
I just haven't had access to a dumpster,
or the inclination to throw it away.
That was a nice dress.
They were chewing apart my clothing and,
you know, eating my plants.
It was terrifying and disgusting.
This dress.
This is where you lay your head to rest.
It's not a safe space anymore.
Garbage.
♪
This is going to be the bigger issue.
Yeah, so I just saw a couple of things, but I know-
Trust me when I say,
all of this is legit mold, urine.
The smell is so strong.
It's really saturated.
That pile is my laundry pile...
right, so that's-
and I'm just sort of wondering about that.
I can see a couple of things that probably went wrong here.
It's pretty, it's absolutely pretty,
but it smells like mold.
Things like this, I wore,
like, three months ago.
-Smell. -Yeah.
That's mold.
But that's a vinegar wash, right.
Okay, but that's a lot of vinegar wash,
is what I'm saying.
There are smells of mold, there are smells of cat urine.
If she has to handle every piece on top of
everything else, we won't get through it.
♪
Everything that was in that ceiling,
all that moldy stuff, fell right on top of it.
So, all of this, if you can get rid of it,
I would highly recommend that you do.
We got to get to this part here, which is,
again, all contaminated, okay?
So, it's not worth saving.
There's some stuff in here...
from 20... 19.
Yeah, probably.
So... ugh.
-You see canning jars? -Yeah.
Okay, that's home canning, right, so that...
And, the sake is probably fine.
So, even this one, that was homemade, right.
-These are all new. -Okay.
I'm gonna tell you that...
[Muttering] This...
Um, I know that the beets in here have to be dumped.
-Okay. -Okay.
But I want the container.
Those have to be dumped, but I want the container.
There's still the fridge to go through, the freezer,
but she wants to keep all of it,
even the expired food.
Oh, there's my...
If we keep moving at the speed that we're moving
right now, there's no way we're going to get it done.
♪
I'm concerned that no real change is
going to happen in the long term for you.
Well, how can you imagine that I'm not feeling it?
You know, I'm 57 years old, right?
I'm an anal retentive control freak, right?
I'm trusting them, right.
That's a big, big step for a control freak...
-It is, it is. -Okay.
...who needs to see everything,
so that I can take it out of the archive.
So, I don't know where you would
want me to be more involved.
I actually just want to challenge you.
Okay.
I would like you to choose three things...
from this pile...
that you can move to either the donation-
because it's really small, like,
I look at this area and I look at that area-
it's really a mental challenge.
It's about finding a few more things that
I can decide that I don't need, right?
-Yeah, can we do that? -That's what you're saying?
Can we go over together and, three things?
-Yeah. -Okay.
I need her to be able to experience a tough decision,
where she can sink into that moment of anxiety...
and know how to deal with that feeling,
and make a decision in spite of it.
♪
You have about four, four or five things.
-Tell me about... -How I'm deciding?
Yeah.
Well, I believe this hat's too small for anybody.
It used to be Jade's.
So, I'm assuming it won't...
disturb her.
I don't even know why that was in there.
It's just a little set of cushions.
These are the decorations that I used for my wedding,
that I think are perfectly acceptable crafting items
that can go on to be used by
somebody else for something else.
The other one of these cushions was tossed
because it was covered in cat hair.
How do you feel about letting these items go?
♪
I feel okay about letting them go.
They're not needed, right, so they're just extraneous.
Yeah.
You want to create behaviors that repeat themselves
over and over, long after we're gone.
If you don't do this kind of thing on a regular basis...
you're going to end up-
-In the same place. -Absolutely.
My concern is that the task was a little too easy for her.
And, she can make tougher decisions,
maybe not about everything.
I'm afraid that she just doesn't want to.
♪
The upstairs level of the home has been cleared and
it's on the lawn.
However, the main level hasn't been touched at all.
We're not close to really being where we would
want to be, at this point.
♪
There's a lot of things that aren't working.
That have interfered with me being able to make progress.
Everybody has their idea of what is valuable.
And when they walk into my dirty house,
and smell the cat and rat and whatever, pee,
and see the disarray, okay, and see the dust
on the books: "Who the ---- needs that many books?"
That's what goes through most people's heads.
You are all here on my property, every day!
You can definitely see I don't live like you,
and I don't want to.
Everything was deliberate in my life.
No, get off me!
Okay? It's deliberate!
Including the trash on top of everything.
It was deliberate.
At the core, it's really hard for everybody to
understand I value these things.
Even in my group, I got people who want to
second guess what I'm deciding.
And I want to say to them, you want to question that,
question it, then shut up.
But you want to ------ keep pressuring me in that minute?
Okay, we're going to see more resistance than you want.
You all know that.
That's why we haven't done this before.
So, don't do it. Okay?
Allow me some time...
...to think about what I'm saying goodbye to.
-Can we start fresh? -Yes!
-Can we start fresh today? -Okay, on that note...
we still have the downstairs to do.
And I want to make sure that it goes right,
and it's done respectfully for you.
And I know it's going to take all of us-
it's not just you- but we gotta get started.
I would like to clarify all the communication,
a team leader from your family.
I think it's going to have to be me, if everybody agrees.
We all nominate Tanya. Say aye or nay.
Okay.
I'll do this tent. This chaotic-
What category would you like?
Stuff that nobody knows what it is because-
Miscellaneous, miscellaneous.
Okay, but I need at least one or two other people.
And I need helpers on this side.
You want books?
Okay, we've got Mara on books.
Can I just say this?
I've very comfortable making sure that's sorted exactly
the way they come out, and removing furniture
slightly here and there.
Did I just hear you become the furniture captain?
-Yes. -Thank you.
I'm trying to get things back on track.
Tanya really wants to take control of the situation,
and hopefully, this helps us to go much faster
'cause Coral's system is not working.
♪
-This is your keep box. -This is my keep box.
I'm going to keep this because the other ones
have all been thrown away.
This is my clothes, so, keep.
Keeping, it's the one that's not broken.
Um, okay, yes, this is a keep.
So, it can stay with my sewing stuff.
-I'm doing it. -Yeah, I'm keeping.
-Keeping? -Yes, I want my stereo.
I only have one stereo.
I'm keeping that garden guy.
-It's the camping one. -It's cast iron.
It's my cast iron camping pot, so it's a keep.
Okay, I'm going to keep these.
♪
It was a pretty intense morning and a lot of things,
I think, were... needed to be said.
I could feel that you needed to be heard.
You don't have an accumulation or buying
or shopping, this is not a- it's not an intake,
an excessive intake problem. This seems to me like
a result of a whole lifetime of...
almost never throwing anything away.
And by throw away, please take that to mean
donate everything, everything, everything.
I understand, yeah.
It's a catch-all term for exiting the home.
Yeah.
But, too much of it hasn't gone.
♪
I guess I've always been somebody who's saving it.
Not saving it so much for a rainy day.
You know, depression era stuff going on, maybe?
Any kind of life that we live in a way that's either
too extreme, too rigid, or, or inflexible,
will cause us problems.
This is not adaptive behavior,
if the behavior resulted in the home
looking the way it did.
Okay.
If you had so much of it that you couldn't walk through the
house safely, that you couldn't move through the
home with energy, that it was draining you,
that you couldn't enjoy your, your treasures and
your instruments and your books- do you,
can you still see, that has become a problem?
That's where the line gets crossed,
where it's an actual problem.
♪
It's a mental health problem.
Change can happen, but it requires ongoing effort.
It's not a short-term fix.
If Coral doesn't learn how to stop overthinking,
over-talking and over-processing
these decisions, I'm afraid no real change
in her behavior will happen.
♪
Right now, I'm dealing with having so much stuff
outdoors, and that's just from the upstairs.
Tanya's first decision this morning was to get rid of the
donate pile, so we can create more room.
So, we started loading it into the trailer,
and it's like Coral felt it in her being.
So, she comes around the corner
and puts a stop to everything.
So, I was told very specifically at the beginning-
-Yeah. -I think by you-
That we could make up boxes...
or piles for the various people that the
donations were going to.
Yep.
And, I'm just seeing it all go into this truck.
So, how do you think we should do it?
Because we're running out of room.
We're running out of time.
And, all of this, is taking the time away from that,
from me, and I feel like my hands are really-
I feel handcuffed right now.
And I don't know what to do
And I feel dishonored.
And I feel dishonored because I-
And I'm not going to throw this out at all, okay,
that's not what I'm trying to say here.
And I'm not trying to force you to just,
for this to go to one place.
I want to come up with a solution that will honor you,
but it will also allow me to do this very quickly.
Do you have a suggested solution?
-I do, I do. -My suggestion- go ahead.
If, when you're saying 'donate',
you have someone in mind you want...
I have, yeah, they're on-
We will handle that aspect of it today.
However, we got to get to these.
I, yes, yes.
All right, let's just get it done then.
Okay.
[Julio] I have hours left.
Now we're back to sorting stuff that
has already been sorted.
We don't have time for any of this right now.
-So this is one? -This is one.
I've been given the responsibility of
being bad cop.
So, I had to step in and say, "I'm going to get it handled
for you, and I'm going to get a system in place."
I did, and it happened all very quickly so I could get her
back where she needed to be to continue sorting.
♪
Try to get rid of as much of this as possible.
This all looks kind of antiquated and unnecessary.
A lot of that is garbage, even.
No, I know, I can see that.
[Clicking tongue] [Muttering]
Okay, faster...
Faster.
If you're not seeing things right off the bat you need,
then just get rid of it.
Can we get rid of it, it's not even in good shape.
Okay, this is probably keep.
Sorry to be a hound dog, but you got
four more seconds to make a decision.
Yes, I'd like to keep it.
Okay, yeah, I think we're keeping that dresser.
You can just put that in the keep, right?
Oh, that's your new keep, okay.
Keep, and put it with the baskets,
that's the not broken one. Excellent.
And this is a keep.
♪
I'm trying to advocate for you to see
the mental health issue here.
You have this very compulsive need...
to look, and sort, and touch, and talk about,
and just process everything that you own.
Yes, just, I mean, to some extent.
It's very time consuming.
You need to delegate some of these decisions-
-Can I interrupt? -Yeah.
-I'm sorry. -Yeah, yeah.
I don't know what you've been saying to her.
It sounds like maybe we're going to be saying
the same thing. But everybody's like,
"I don't think we should bring anything out,
because I don't think you guys are going to even
get through what's out here already
at the pace that we're going."
The people working on your behalf,
they have to have more authority so they can
just get rid of stuff.
You being able to do exactly what Tanya just said,
is a very key part of your change here.
Stop trying to avoid the discomfort that you think
you're going to feel because they made the decisions.
Trust them. Give them the trust that they know you,
they're your family, they care about you,
they will make the best decisions- the best-
not the right, wrong, perfect decisions,
but the best ones that they know how to make.
They've got your back.
But you being able to give up the control to them is
a huge part of your mental health process.
Otherwise, we're going to fail.
We're going to fail, and this is
all going to be for nothing.
♪
And that's not going to put you in a better space,
'cause it's going to be a disorganized failure.
♪
I know.
Um...
I know it's hard.
Well, I know that some of that stuff is-
all of those... sort-y boxes-
Do you think Khendra's going to make bad decisions?
That's what you need to ask yourself.
♪
So, she can have the authority to
deal with the living room.
Without any resentment afterwards towards her?
-Yes, without any resentment. -Okay.
♪
I really needed her to understand that we've put in
so much time and effort and energy to help her,
that she needs to start to help herself.
♪
We've finally convinced Coral to give up some control to
Khendra to start clearing out the downstairs living room.
So you're keeping four of the cans?
-Four of the metal ones. -And the rest?
And then, the rest are all recyclable.
No problem.
I'm going for more garbage than donate,
more donate than keep.
That's the goal, but there are so many papers piled up
that that's like 80% of the keep right now.
♪
Let her decide.
Bye-bye, couch.
It actually feels like we can get that room done.
Trash.
♪
All right, I know how important
this room is for you.
Okay, so I want to make sure that we get this done today,
but I need your help. I have about two hours left.
I'm hoping that I can get this done,
but the only way it can get done,
is if you give somebody else control.
Or do you want us to just leave it like this?
Well, who, are you suggesting somebody in particular,
or are you telling- asking-
Who would you trust to do this for you properly?
♪
Um...
I think I could do an okay job.
-Well, almost- -Jade's volunteering.
Um...
I am confident that if you gave me...
the authority that you gave Khendra for the living room,
that I would sort it in the same manner that she did...
before it gets taken out to your vicinity,
and I would keep all of the stuff that is still intact.
Can you trust her to sort it for you?
Yes, ah- yes.
I, I can... I can trust Jade to do this room.
-Jade, you ready for this? -Yes, I am.
Okay, let's do it.
-Fantastic. -Okay, let's do it!
♪
Letting go of something we value is the ultimate test of
our ability to overcome the control that
our possessions have over us.
She is going to have to learn how to want less.
♪
Coral was one of the toughest customers that
I've ever had to deal with.
She was an uphill battle.
A lot of emotional ups and downs.
And now here we are.
We're gonna get this done.
[Tanya] The sheer amount of work we put in this week,
and the exhaustion we were willing to endure,
and the fact that we came back the next day, on time,
to do it again, I just truly can't believe it.
It's difficult to express my appreciation for
all the hard work everybody's put in.
I hope Coral sees this as just
the starting point for a better life.
♪
Goodness.
Ah, nice.
♪
Wow!
That's nice, yeah.
[Indistinct speaking]
Well, it's nice to see my baskets displayed.
-It's fantastic. -[Laughing]
♪
It looks so much cleaner.
Wow.
What was the first thought or feeling that you had
when you came through that door?
Well, it was, it was lovely to feel the space,
you know, the energy of open space.
♪
That's how I tried to set this up,
so that if you have guests over, they can sit down,
have a coffee, have some tea with you.
And then enjoy everything that you create here.
Well, thank you.
Mike?
My first thought walking through the doors:
Where'd all the stuff go?
-[Laughing] -I like it.
I'm excited for my dad.
I think that...
he's going to have the opportunity to not have to
feel like he has to hide himself away
in the top corner of the house.
♪
-Hm! -Wow.
♪
Holy smokes.
No, I know.
[Laughing & chatter]
Holy smokes.
♪
There's no way this isn't going to make a difference.
Even if she doesn't change who she is,
the fact that she can understand how dirty it was...
she's not going to let it get there again.
Oh my goodness.
I won't say no.
[Laughing]
Oh, it is very comfy.
You are guys are on it, I want to come in and see it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Every time we walked into another room,
there was just utter relief.
[Indistinct chatter]
-Wow. -Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
I was wondering where that went!
Yeah, and we'll get to play.
Oh, my goodness, I haven't seen this in forever!
Yeah, I was wondering about it, I was wondering about it.
♪
You did all the work for this room, Khendra.
You did all the work for this room.
[Indistinct chatter & laughing]
I'm very proud of my daughters.
They stepped up fully.
They worked hard.
And they proved to me,
and to everybody else, that they really know me.
This is because of you. You did this.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
-Thank you. -Absolutely.
I know.
I have been carrying so much worry that this
wasn't going to get done right...
that we were going to do something to hurt her
more than we helped her.
And...
I'm just so happy that it got done right.
It has not been an easy task and, you persevered.
I mean, you really stuck through...
some very difficult moments, facing what you
all faced together, but especially you, Coral.
♪
It's been difficult.
It's your home, but better.
It's amazing.
It's a testimony to how much...
the people who love me are willing to
endure and work to help me.
[Applauding]
This experience has been an ongoing lesson...
in letting go.
I feel I got my home back, but I also
got my family back.
And that's more important.
That's the real win.
♪