1 00:00:02,875 --> 00:00:05,375 If you define it, I'm probably a hoarder. 2 00:00:05,500 --> 00:00:06,958 ♪ 3 00:00:07,042 --> 00:00:09,000 I've been living with mouse poop for, God, 4 00:00:09,083 --> 00:00:10,583 20 years probably. 5 00:00:10,667 --> 00:00:12,375 This is just disgusting. 6 00:00:12,458 --> 00:00:16,333 I really didn't realize how bad it was. 7 00:00:16,375 --> 00:00:17,625 That's nasty. 8 00:00:17,708 --> 00:00:19,583 My mom is also a hoarder. 9 00:00:19,667 --> 00:00:21,875 You're putting those with things that I want to keep. 10 00:00:21,958 --> 00:00:23,583 -This is keep. -[Laughing] 11 00:00:23,667 --> 00:00:24,833 It's not a joke, Dad. 12 00:00:24,875 --> 00:00:25,875 This is a man who has a 13 00:00:25,958 --> 00:00:28,625 really difficult time being real. 14 00:00:28,708 --> 00:00:30,708 ♪ 15 00:00:30,708 --> 00:00:32,167 Grow up, you know? 16 00:00:32,208 --> 00:00:33,917 How many winter coats do you need? 17 00:00:34,042 --> 00:00:36,000 -As many as we have here. -Be the adult here. 18 00:00:36,125 --> 00:00:37,333 I'm not giving away my parka. 19 00:00:37,417 --> 00:00:38,833 For once, be the adult. 20 00:00:38,875 --> 00:00:40,833 Don't ask me any more questions. 21 00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:42,583 ♪ 22 00:00:42,708 --> 00:00:44,500 You're not interested in letting go of anything. 23 00:00:44,583 --> 00:00:47,250 -Why are we doing this? -I don't know. 24 00:00:47,375 --> 00:00:49,000 I think that we understand something about 25 00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:51,792 mental illness that a lot of people don't. 26 00:00:51,875 --> 00:00:55,500 If somebody's thinking we're getting rid of a lot of stuff... 27 00:00:55,542 --> 00:00:57,417 That's not gonna happen. 28 00:00:57,542 --> 00:01:05,417 ♪ 29 00:01:12,625 --> 00:01:22,583 ♪ 30 00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:28,958 ♪ 31 00:01:29,042 --> 00:01:35,167 ♪ 32 00:01:41,708 --> 00:01:44,708 My name is David, and I like to collect things. 33 00:01:44,833 --> 00:01:49,667 ♪ 34 00:01:49,750 --> 00:01:51,875 I think it's partly because we were very poor 35 00:01:51,958 --> 00:01:53,750 when I was a kid. 36 00:01:53,833 --> 00:01:56,375 ♪ 37 00:01:56,458 --> 00:01:59,917 So, I just, I like to have nice things. 38 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,542 Collector plates... 39 00:02:01,667 --> 00:02:03,625 Tiffany style lamps... 40 00:02:03,708 --> 00:02:07,208 Christmas figurines. 41 00:02:07,333 --> 00:02:09,500 I think David and I have 42 00:02:09,542 --> 00:02:13,417 a common interest in quality things. 43 00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:19,292 My name is Elizabeth, and I am David's wife. 44 00:02:19,375 --> 00:02:22,375 When you walk into the house, it's full of stuff. 45 00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:24,083 ♪ 46 00:02:24,208 --> 00:02:27,167 A lot of stuff. 47 00:02:27,292 --> 00:02:29,917 My wife and I are not really into cleaning. 48 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:35,250 ♪ 49 00:02:35,333 --> 00:02:38,500 I maybe resent being called a hoarder. 50 00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:40,333 But, ah... 51 00:02:40,417 --> 00:02:42,625 if you define it, I'm probably... 52 00:02:42,708 --> 00:02:45,375 a hoarder. 53 00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:52,167 ♪ 54 00:02:52,250 --> 00:02:55,167 The kitchen, nobody uses it anymore. 55 00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:58,542 So, it's not a real priority to clean it up. 56 00:02:58,625 --> 00:03:03,000 ♪ 57 00:03:03,042 --> 00:03:04,500 I don't cook. 58 00:03:04,542 --> 00:03:07,000 We're a microwave family. We eat out a lot. 59 00:03:07,083 --> 00:03:09,167 It's not a really healthy diet. 60 00:03:09,250 --> 00:03:11,083 Too much milk. 61 00:03:11,167 --> 00:03:14,417 ♪ 62 00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:16,792 TVs came out when I was about ten, 63 00:03:16,875 --> 00:03:19,292 and so I've had a TV almost my whole life, 64 00:03:19,375 --> 00:03:21,167 and I just got addicted to it. 65 00:03:21,250 --> 00:03:24,542 And, I'm unabashedly not worried about it. 66 00:03:24,667 --> 00:03:27,125 I mean, if it shortens my life, it shortens my life. 67 00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:28,833 That looks like a nice pillow. 68 00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:31,083 I think Elizabeth might like it. 69 00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:33,167 ♪ 70 00:03:33,250 --> 00:03:34,708 There's a channel on television that 71 00:03:34,792 --> 00:03:38,042 you can call in and, and order things. 72 00:03:38,125 --> 00:03:40,417 I've been using it for many years. 73 00:03:40,542 --> 00:03:43,792 And, David does that as well. 74 00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:46,375 59.99 is a good price for silk. 75 00:03:46,542 --> 00:03:49,917 I like to buy my stuff from the shopping channel. 76 00:03:50,042 --> 00:03:51,583 They have a lot of good buys. 77 00:03:51,667 --> 00:03:52,833 You can spread the payments out as well, 78 00:03:52,917 --> 00:03:54,500 so you're just paying a few bucks a month. 79 00:03:54,542 --> 00:03:57,125 I think I'll go and order it... 80 00:03:57,208 --> 00:04:00,333 before she does. 81 00:04:00,375 --> 00:04:03,917 I'm Wendy, and I'm David's middle daughter. 82 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,333 It's so maddening knowing that 83 00:04:06,417 --> 00:04:09,125 they just pick up the phone and... 84 00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:11,333 next thing you know, there's 20 parcels 85 00:04:11,375 --> 00:04:13,333 in the front hall just... 86 00:04:13,417 --> 00:04:15,458 with nowhere to go. 87 00:04:15,542 --> 00:04:19,083 ♪ 88 00:04:19,167 --> 00:04:21,333 I have so many collectibles, 89 00:04:21,417 --> 00:04:26,000 but a lot of the things are still in boxes. 90 00:04:26,042 --> 00:04:27,542 I like to buy stuff on sale. 91 00:04:27,625 --> 00:04:29,917 I hate paying full price for anything. 92 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:33,667 But Elizabeth, if she wants it, she'll pay full price. 93 00:04:33,708 --> 00:04:35,958 She's never worried about paying for stuff 94 00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:37,708 because she didn't do it. 95 00:04:37,792 --> 00:04:40,500 I always did that, I handled the money. 96 00:04:40,583 --> 00:04:43,000 David never really restricted me, 97 00:04:43,042 --> 00:04:49,000 or said things about what I should or should not buy. 98 00:04:49,167 --> 00:04:51,167 If I needed or wanted something, 99 00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:54,792 I would just go and buy it. 100 00:04:54,875 --> 00:04:57,292 She doesn't worry about spending money. 101 00:04:57,292 --> 00:04:59,333 I talked to her many times, 102 00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:02,375 but I don't know what she's buying. 103 00:05:02,458 --> 00:05:05,917 A lot of the stuff that's there, he doesn't use it. 104 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:07,375 He doesn't need it. 105 00:05:07,458 --> 00:05:09,125 You ask her and everything's his. 106 00:05:09,208 --> 00:05:10,500 You ask him, everything's hers. 107 00:05:10,542 --> 00:05:12,000 And, that's not the case. 108 00:05:12,042 --> 00:05:14,042 They want to put blame somewhere... 109 00:05:14,167 --> 00:05:16,542 and it's just, it's on both of them. 110 00:05:16,625 --> 00:05:19,917 My sisters and I have all tried at some point to have a 111 00:05:20,042 --> 00:05:23,417 conversation with them before about cleaning stuff up and, 112 00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:25,583 wanting what's best for them and... 113 00:05:25,583 --> 00:05:27,708 nothing came from it, so... 114 00:05:27,792 --> 00:05:36,833 ♪ 115 00:05:36,917 --> 00:05:40,833 The doctor said the house had to be cleared out or 116 00:05:40,875 --> 00:05:44,125 he would have the fire department come... 117 00:05:44,125 --> 00:05:45,708 and condemn it. 118 00:05:45,792 --> 00:05:47,500 It pissed me off. 119 00:05:47,625 --> 00:05:49,292 David doesn't see the necessity of 120 00:05:49,375 --> 00:05:50,833 getting rid of stuff. 121 00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:53,958 It doesn't bother him, but it bothers me terribly. 122 00:05:54,042 --> 00:05:59,167 ♪ 123 00:05:59,208 --> 00:06:03,333 We met in 1976. 124 00:06:03,417 --> 00:06:05,292 She was quiet. 125 00:06:05,375 --> 00:06:09,000 I would say on the plain-ish side. 126 00:06:09,083 --> 00:06:12,542 I told my mother that he was kind of corny. 127 00:06:12,542 --> 00:06:16,458 She said, "You have to give him a chance." 128 00:06:16,542 --> 00:06:18,208 It wasn't love at first sight. 129 00:06:18,292 --> 00:06:20,917 I don't think there was any one thing where 130 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:25,250 the light suddenly went on. 131 00:06:25,333 --> 00:06:26,917 She was really a nice person. 132 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,417 She was nice back then. 133 00:06:29,542 --> 00:06:31,833 I was ready to settle down and... 134 00:06:31,875 --> 00:06:34,792 he asked me to marry him, so I said, "Yes." 135 00:06:34,875 --> 00:06:38,167 [Laughing] I gave him a chance and, 136 00:06:38,250 --> 00:06:40,083 it all ended up... 137 00:06:40,208 --> 00:06:42,833 in today, ha. 138 00:06:42,875 --> 00:06:48,375 Well, we probably haven't been that close for a while. 139 00:06:48,458 --> 00:06:50,917 We don't really spend a lot of time together. 140 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,500 ♪ 141 00:06:53,583 --> 00:06:58,375 The family room is where I spend most of my time. 142 00:06:58,458 --> 00:07:01,833 I do a lot of my financial planning and 143 00:07:01,917 --> 00:07:04,042 paying bills and stuff in that room. 144 00:07:04,125 --> 00:07:07,208 So, it's piled around me. 145 00:07:07,292 --> 00:07:09,167 Heading down into the basement, 146 00:07:09,250 --> 00:07:11,333 you'll see there's boxes. 147 00:07:11,375 --> 00:07:15,042 A lot of them are full of magazines and papers. 148 00:07:15,042 --> 00:07:17,125 There's stuff everywhere. 149 00:07:17,208 --> 00:07:19,583 It's not safe. 150 00:07:19,667 --> 00:07:21,917 The kids used to use that as their playroom 151 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,000 when they were smaller. 152 00:07:23,083 --> 00:07:25,000 But they haven't been over for a long time. 153 00:07:25,125 --> 00:07:27,042 We have three daughters. 154 00:07:27,125 --> 00:07:29,125 ♪ 155 00:07:29,208 --> 00:07:32,500 My girls have delighted me, from the time they were born. 156 00:07:32,583 --> 00:07:34,917 [Crying] I'm a proud mom. 157 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:38,750 [Laughing] Yeah. 158 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:41,542 The girls won't bring their kids over here. 159 00:07:41,625 --> 00:07:43,542 They don't come over here either. 160 00:07:43,667 --> 00:07:49,083 ♪ 161 00:07:49,208 --> 00:07:51,333 Like, I've got lots of Disney collectibles, 162 00:07:51,375 --> 00:07:53,833 but their moms don't want them getting hurt, 163 00:07:53,875 --> 00:07:56,000 something falling on them, or they fall over something 164 00:07:56,125 --> 00:07:58,250 and hurt themselves. 165 00:07:58,333 --> 00:07:59,708 Ah! 166 00:07:59,833 --> 00:08:02,000 I've almost fallen a couple of times. 167 00:08:02,083 --> 00:08:04,750 You never know when you're going to trip. 168 00:08:04,833 --> 00:08:07,625 Actually, I found it nice to have a lot of stuff 169 00:08:07,708 --> 00:08:09,292 lying around 'cause... 170 00:08:09,375 --> 00:08:12,167 [Laughing] ...it breaks the fall a bit. 171 00:08:12,250 --> 00:08:14,667 I almost kicked the bucket! 172 00:08:14,750 --> 00:08:17,333 I'm Kathy, and I'm David's eldest daughter. 173 00:08:17,458 --> 00:08:18,833 Any raccoons out here? 174 00:08:18,958 --> 00:08:21,292 My dad, I don't know if he believes in 175 00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:22,958 going to talk about your feelings. 176 00:08:23,042 --> 00:08:25,167 Hello? 177 00:08:25,208 --> 00:08:27,667 No response. [Laughing] 178 00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:30,333 His way of coping is just to make a joke out of it. 179 00:08:30,417 --> 00:08:32,167 Maybe I should just stay out here all night. 180 00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:34,792 [Laughing] 181 00:08:34,875 --> 00:08:38,500 He's never really talked about his feelings. 182 00:08:38,625 --> 00:08:40,750 We don't say, "I love you's," we don't hug. 183 00:08:40,875 --> 00:08:42,708 It's just the way it's always been so, 184 00:08:42,833 --> 00:08:44,458 I guess in our family we don't really need to say 185 00:08:44,542 --> 00:08:46,708 we love each other to know that we do. 186 00:08:46,792 --> 00:08:50,208 ♪ 187 00:08:50,333 --> 00:08:51,708 I find being in the house difficult. 188 00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:53,792 There's just so much stuff. 189 00:08:53,875 --> 00:08:57,708 And then on top of that, it's the smell and the dust. 190 00:08:57,833 --> 00:09:00,750 Layers and layers of old dust. 191 00:09:00,833 --> 00:09:01,958 You can't vacuum because 192 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,875 there's just too much stuff everywhere. 193 00:09:03,958 --> 00:09:06,917 There's no carpet visible to vacuum. 194 00:09:07,042 --> 00:09:08,958 ♪ 195 00:09:09,042 --> 00:09:11,708 The dining room, we used to be able to 196 00:09:11,792 --> 00:09:13,500 sit in there as a family. 197 00:09:13,667 --> 00:09:15,542 And then, once we moved out, 198 00:09:15,625 --> 00:09:18,917 we just started going to our houses for dinner. 199 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,292 We couldn't rearrange everything every time 200 00:09:21,375 --> 00:09:23,000 we wanted to go over to their house. 201 00:09:23,042 --> 00:09:25,750 As much as he wanted to be the host for everything, 202 00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:28,917 it just took so long, and it just stopped happening. 203 00:09:29,042 --> 00:09:31,750 ♪ 204 00:09:31,833 --> 00:09:33,083 And I think that was a bit disappointing. 205 00:09:33,167 --> 00:09:35,250 Just having the people in the house, 206 00:09:35,333 --> 00:09:38,458 I think is what my dad wanted. 207 00:09:38,542 --> 00:09:41,000 Yeah. 208 00:09:41,083 --> 00:09:43,667 We have a lot of friends in the, in the house- 209 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,667 from the outside, dropping deposits. 210 00:09:45,708 --> 00:09:49,000 Mice usually in the kitchen. 211 00:09:49,042 --> 00:09:51,458 There's also pee that has got a very, 212 00:09:51,542 --> 00:09:54,083 very toxic chemical in it. 213 00:09:54,167 --> 00:09:56,917 It's just like arsenic, it's so poisonous. 214 00:09:57,042 --> 00:09:59,167 I've been living with mouse poop for, God, 215 00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:00,833 20 years probably. 216 00:10:00,917 --> 00:10:03,917 I remember one time there was this thing of flour. 217 00:10:03,917 --> 00:10:06,000 We made our cookies with it, and... 218 00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:08,917 then we looked at the flour and it was like, 219 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,250 what's this- what are these things in the flour? 220 00:10:11,375 --> 00:10:12,833 Nobody knew. 221 00:10:12,875 --> 00:10:17,167 And it was mouse droppings. 222 00:10:17,208 --> 00:10:20,583 Breathing in mouse poo, and breathing in mold, 223 00:10:20,583 --> 00:10:23,167 that can't be good for your health. 224 00:10:23,208 --> 00:10:26,000 I have bad sinuses, but I don't blow my nose 225 00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:30,375 because I get nosebleeds, so I spit it up. 226 00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:32,708 So, there's lots of dirty Kleenex. 227 00:10:32,792 --> 00:10:34,125 To recycle the boxes, 228 00:10:34,208 --> 00:10:37,458 you have to take out the plastic and flatten them. 229 00:10:37,542 --> 00:10:41,167 And I just don't get around to doing that. 230 00:10:41,250 --> 00:10:43,500 [Elizabeth] I think the house is killing him. 231 00:10:43,542 --> 00:10:44,875 I think it's part of the reason that 232 00:10:44,875 --> 00:10:47,417 I ended up being sick. 233 00:10:47,542 --> 00:10:57,500 ♪ 234 00:11:02,458 --> 00:11:03,667 ♪ 235 00:11:03,708 --> 00:11:06,750 When I got home, I had to wash all the dishes. 236 00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:08,500 And just standing by the sink, 237 00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:11,375 I felt faint because I was so exhausted. 238 00:11:11,458 --> 00:11:16,167 And there were cereal boxes lined all up on the table, 239 00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:19,500 and then there were empty boxes... 240 00:11:19,542 --> 00:11:22,042 all piled up by the garbage cans. 241 00:11:22,125 --> 00:11:24,625 And, we didn't have just one garbage can, 242 00:11:24,708 --> 00:11:27,042 we had three garbage cans now. 243 00:11:27,125 --> 00:11:29,833 He doesn't take the garbage out every week. 244 00:11:29,875 --> 00:11:32,208 If he doesn't feel like it, he doesn't take it out. 245 00:11:32,333 --> 00:11:34,500 I didn't even want to eat downstairs sometimes 246 00:11:34,625 --> 00:11:36,208 because it smells so bad. 247 00:11:36,292 --> 00:11:38,125 I said, "I'm going to hire a cleaning lady." 248 00:11:38,208 --> 00:11:39,833 He said, "We don't need a cleaning lady." 249 00:11:39,875 --> 00:11:41,500 I said, "The floors are disgusting." 250 00:11:41,542 --> 00:11:43,458 He said, "Who cares?" 251 00:11:43,542 --> 00:11:45,583 But I don't like living like that. 252 00:11:45,583 --> 00:11:47,833 I couldn't stand living like that. 253 00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:55,417 ♪ 254 00:11:55,542 --> 00:11:57,125 I was pissed. 255 00:11:57,208 --> 00:12:00,333 Elizabeth's doctor laid down an ultimatum. 256 00:12:00,417 --> 00:12:02,917 The house was not healthy for... 257 00:12:03,042 --> 00:12:07,167 Elizabeth, and it had to be cleaned up. 258 00:12:07,292 --> 00:12:10,000 And he said, "If it's not, I'm going to call the 259 00:12:10,083 --> 00:12:13,458 authorities in, and have the place condemned." 260 00:12:13,542 --> 00:12:17,708 ♪ 261 00:12:17,792 --> 00:12:20,583 Then it would be forcefully cleaned... 262 00:12:20,667 --> 00:12:22,875 and sold. 263 00:12:22,958 --> 00:12:25,125 ♪ 264 00:12:25,208 --> 00:12:27,542 Yeah, I was not happy with that meeting. 265 00:12:27,625 --> 00:12:34,792 ♪ 266 00:12:34,917 --> 00:12:37,417 She just is thinking of herself all the time. 267 00:12:37,500 --> 00:12:39,958 It's just, "Me, me, me, me." 268 00:12:40,042 --> 00:12:41,750 I couldn't clean anymore. 269 00:12:41,833 --> 00:12:44,083 Physically, I'm not able to cook. 270 00:12:44,208 --> 00:12:48,042 I just decided, I can't live here anymore. 271 00:12:48,125 --> 00:12:50,833 We're paying for her accommodation and food... 272 00:12:50,917 --> 00:12:53,917 chef prepared meals. 273 00:12:53,917 --> 00:12:56,542 All the disposable income that we had before now 274 00:12:56,625 --> 00:13:00,125 is going to pay for her home. 275 00:13:00,208 --> 00:13:03,042 I think she just wants to go there and do nothing. 276 00:13:03,167 --> 00:13:04,833 I wish that she was still here, 277 00:13:04,917 --> 00:13:06,500 even if we weren't getting along, 278 00:13:06,542 --> 00:13:09,333 'cause we could do stuff that would make both of us happy. 279 00:13:09,417 --> 00:13:12,500 We could go out and buy meals, and order in meals, 280 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:15,417 and buy Christmas presents and stuff. 281 00:13:16,708 --> 00:13:19,167 [Elizabeth] I don't know whether I would ever 282 00:13:19,250 --> 00:13:23,500 want to move back to my home again. 283 00:13:23,625 --> 00:13:25,167 He wants to be in charge, 284 00:13:25,208 --> 00:13:27,167 but I don't think he's fit to be in charge, really. 285 00:13:27,250 --> 00:13:29,917 He's let our house go into shambles. 286 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:33,417 That's the biggest possession of our life... 287 00:13:33,542 --> 00:13:35,875 and he's let it go into shambles. 288 00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:42,208 ♪ 289 00:13:42,292 --> 00:13:44,917 [Kathy] I'm worried about him- if anything were 290 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,833 to happen to him, if he were to fall... 291 00:13:48,042 --> 00:13:51,542 There's no one there to hear him or to help him. 292 00:13:51,667 --> 00:13:53,958 The situation is fairly serious because 293 00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:55,625 my mom now is no longer living there. 294 00:13:55,708 --> 00:14:03,667 ♪ 295 00:14:03,833 --> 00:14:04,917 [David] If I don't clean the house, 296 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,667 the doctor's going to phone up fire, 297 00:14:06,750 --> 00:14:08,583 and get them to come in and 298 00:14:08,667 --> 00:14:10,208 declare the house un-livable. 299 00:14:10,292 --> 00:14:13,458 Then it would be forcefully cleaned. 300 00:14:13,542 --> 00:14:16,458 And I don't have a choice, what goes and what stays. 301 00:14:16,542 --> 00:14:26,500 ♪ 302 00:14:28,375 --> 00:14:29,667 I'm Natasha Sharma. 303 00:14:29,750 --> 00:14:30,792 I'm a therapist with a doctorate 304 00:14:30,875 --> 00:14:32,458 in clinical psychology. 305 00:14:32,542 --> 00:14:35,500 I specialize in behavioral disorders, including hoarding. 306 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:38,667 [Knocking] 307 00:14:38,792 --> 00:14:42,167 I know that he's doing this... 308 00:14:42,250 --> 00:14:44,750 because he's kind of being forced to, 309 00:14:44,833 --> 00:14:49,667 but I'm hoping that something good's gonna come out of it. 310 00:14:49,708 --> 00:14:51,167 -David? -Yes. 311 00:14:51,208 --> 00:14:53,292 -Hi, I'm Natasha. -Nice to meet you. 312 00:14:53,375 --> 00:14:55,250 Nice to meet you as well. May I come in? 313 00:14:55,333 --> 00:14:59,125 -Sure. -Thank you, thank you so much. 314 00:14:59,208 --> 00:15:01,833 The first thing that kind of hits me is there's 315 00:15:01,875 --> 00:15:03,375 a stuffiness about it. 316 00:15:03,458 --> 00:15:06,292 There's dust everywhere, and right away, 317 00:15:06,375 --> 00:15:10,917 my breathing is not the same as when I was outside. 318 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:13,917 There is a ton of stuff. 319 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:17,250 I'm just visually overstimulated by things. 320 00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:19,958 -How are you feeling? -Okay, a little stressed. 321 00:15:20,042 --> 00:15:21,458 Yeah? What's, what's stressing you? 322 00:15:21,542 --> 00:15:23,333 What's feeling stress-y? 323 00:15:23,417 --> 00:15:26,167 Just where things are gonna go and that, so... 324 00:15:26,208 --> 00:15:28,250 What's your reason for doing this? 325 00:15:28,375 --> 00:15:32,042 I was ambushed by Elizabeth's doctor, and... 326 00:15:32,125 --> 00:15:34,500 they said the house had to be cleaned up, 327 00:15:34,583 --> 00:15:36,417 and if it wasn't cleaned up, they were going to 328 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,958 call the city and condemn the place. 329 00:15:38,958 --> 00:15:40,500 I really didn't have a choice, 330 00:15:40,542 --> 00:15:43,583 but the place needs to be cleaned up because... 331 00:15:43,667 --> 00:15:45,333 Yeah, yeah. 332 00:15:45,417 --> 00:15:48,750 Would you be willing to take me on a tour of your home, 333 00:15:48,833 --> 00:15:50,083 so that I could get to know 334 00:15:50,208 --> 00:15:51,250 you and your home a bit better? 335 00:15:51,375 --> 00:15:53,583 Yeah, okay. Start in the living room? 336 00:15:53,667 --> 00:16:03,625 ♪ 337 00:16:04,542 --> 00:16:06,875 So, this is a lot better than it was, 338 00:16:06,958 --> 00:16:09,417 but it's still not ideal. 339 00:16:09,542 --> 00:16:13,542 We were just putting stuff here that we had accumulated. 340 00:16:13,667 --> 00:16:17,125 I put Christmas out and never really put it away. 341 00:16:17,208 --> 00:16:19,000 Do you use this space at all? 342 00:16:19,042 --> 00:16:20,500 -No. -No? 343 00:16:20,583 --> 00:16:22,292 No, nobody will come over. 344 00:16:22,375 --> 00:16:25,000 We have seven grandchildren, and they don't let them 345 00:16:25,083 --> 00:16:28,000 come over because of the mess. 346 00:16:28,125 --> 00:16:29,667 Would you like them to come over? 347 00:16:29,750 --> 00:16:32,000 Well, we'd like them to come over when, when they can. 348 00:16:32,042 --> 00:16:33,708 We used to have Christmas dinner here. 349 00:16:33,792 --> 00:16:35,542 That's the dining room. 350 00:16:35,542 --> 00:16:36,708 So, this would have been where the 351 00:16:36,792 --> 00:16:38,833 dining room table would be, like...? 352 00:16:38,917 --> 00:16:40,625 -Is it there, under there? -The dining room table is there. 353 00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:44,458 -Yeah, yeah, it's there. -Okay. 354 00:16:44,542 --> 00:16:47,500 And it's quite a squeeze to get everybody in because of 355 00:16:47,583 --> 00:16:52,500 the china cabinets on either side, which I collect. 356 00:16:52,542 --> 00:16:56,125 David thinks of himself as a collector, but in my view, 357 00:16:56,125 --> 00:16:59,042 he's clearly demonstrating hoarding behaviors. 358 00:16:59,125 --> 00:17:02,667 A collector is someone who shows a great deal of pride 359 00:17:02,750 --> 00:17:03,958 in what they've purchased, 360 00:17:04,042 --> 00:17:05,875 and they display and organize it 361 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,500 in a way that reflects that. 362 00:17:07,542 --> 00:17:10,625 Whereas the way David stores things that he's purchased 363 00:17:10,708 --> 00:17:12,875 is disorganized and cluttered. 364 00:17:12,958 --> 00:17:15,208 I'm a collector, and Elizabeth is a shopper. 365 00:17:15,292 --> 00:17:16,542 What's the difference? 366 00:17:16,542 --> 00:17:18,542 I buy stuff that I like to collect and maybe 367 00:17:18,625 --> 00:17:21,000 pass on as gifts and things, and keep. 368 00:17:21,125 --> 00:17:24,417 Like, I collect Tiffany-style lamps. 369 00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:27,958 And Elizabeth is buying stuff for herself. 370 00:17:28,042 --> 00:17:30,167 A lot of things are about her. 371 00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:32,958 It sounds like you are disappointed in the 372 00:17:33,042 --> 00:17:34,542 quality of your relationship. 373 00:17:34,625 --> 00:17:36,333 It's been... 374 00:17:36,375 --> 00:17:37,792 a challenge. 375 00:17:37,875 --> 00:17:40,833 In the mid 80s, she was, she was not well. 376 00:17:40,917 --> 00:17:43,875 And finally, they diagnosed her with chronic fatigue. 377 00:17:43,958 --> 00:17:45,708 She had two hip replacements as well. 378 00:17:45,792 --> 00:17:47,333 They finally replaced the hip. 379 00:17:47,417 --> 00:17:53,208 David clearly had a vision of how his life was going to go. 380 00:17:53,292 --> 00:17:56,333 And when Elizabeth got sick early on, 381 00:17:56,417 --> 00:18:02,208 I think this really shattered the vision that he had. 382 00:18:02,292 --> 00:18:03,667 How did you feel? 383 00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:06,833 Oh, it was hard because she didn't do a lot of things, 384 00:18:06,875 --> 00:18:09,500 and it's hard to tell whether she... 385 00:18:09,542 --> 00:18:13,000 was not, didn't want to do them and wasn't 386 00:18:13,125 --> 00:18:16,167 gonna do them, or she was unable to do them. 387 00:18:16,250 --> 00:18:19,000 David has developed resentment, 388 00:18:19,125 --> 00:18:22,292 and is now taking it out on Elizabeth by 389 00:18:22,375 --> 00:18:25,417 creating almost a false narrative about her, 390 00:18:25,542 --> 00:18:29,042 that this is all her fault, her shopping. 391 00:18:29,042 --> 00:18:31,875 And this is where I spend most of my life... 392 00:18:31,958 --> 00:18:34,542 Ah! Looking at the TV. 393 00:18:34,625 --> 00:18:37,583 I'm just going to step over this, so I can... 394 00:18:37,667 --> 00:18:39,667 There we go, okay. 395 00:18:39,750 --> 00:18:41,250 Okay... 396 00:18:41,333 --> 00:18:43,250 Are you in your, are you in your chair? 397 00:18:43,333 --> 00:18:44,917 -This is my spot. -This is your spot, okay. 398 00:18:45,042 --> 00:18:46,333 Here's all my stuff. 399 00:18:46,417 --> 00:18:48,083 Okay, it's it all right with you if I just kind of... 400 00:18:48,208 --> 00:18:49,375 Don't touch anything. 401 00:18:49,458 --> 00:18:50,333 You don't want me to touch anything? 402 00:18:50,458 --> 00:18:51,833 -Well, it's... -I won't. 403 00:18:51,917 --> 00:18:53,250 -It's kind of... 404 00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:55,208 -I know where it is. -Okay, oh, okay. 405 00:18:55,333 --> 00:18:56,500 So, tell me about that. 406 00:18:56,667 --> 00:18:58,250 Tell me about that, when you say you know where- 407 00:18:58,333 --> 00:19:00,333 The stuff I'm working on is here. 408 00:19:00,417 --> 00:19:01,958 I have to get them all together and 409 00:19:02,042 --> 00:19:03,667 go to the bank, and... 410 00:19:03,708 --> 00:19:05,958 Can you find what you're looking for in this, 411 00:19:05,958 --> 00:19:07,083 when you...? 412 00:19:07,167 --> 00:19:08,958 Yeah, yeah, there's my chequebook. 413 00:19:09,042 --> 00:19:11,333 How long does it take you? Can you find it- 414 00:19:11,458 --> 00:19:13,292 It takes a few minutes to get it all organized. 415 00:19:13,375 --> 00:19:14,708 And then over here, 416 00:19:14,708 --> 00:19:17,083 I noticed you've got more Kleenex boxes. 417 00:19:17,167 --> 00:19:19,083 Yeah, if you recycle Kleenex boxes, 418 00:19:19,167 --> 00:19:20,625 you got to take the plastic out. 419 00:19:20,708 --> 00:19:22,708 -And then flatten them. -Flatten the box. 420 00:19:22,833 --> 00:19:26,042 Yeah, and it takes time to do all that, so... 421 00:19:26,125 --> 00:19:28,000 The more you let them pile up, 422 00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,208 then it becomes a massive job. 423 00:19:30,333 --> 00:19:33,375 Whereas, if you build that habit of, you know... 424 00:19:33,458 --> 00:19:35,250 Yeah, and hence, here we are. 425 00:19:35,250 --> 00:19:37,042 Yeah, exactly, yeah. 426 00:19:37,125 --> 00:19:38,167 -Yeah. -Okay. 427 00:19:38,208 --> 00:19:39,292 This is a man who has 428 00:19:39,375 --> 00:19:42,000 a really difficult time being real. 429 00:19:42,083 --> 00:19:44,167 He turns everything into a joke. 430 00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:46,250 We will resume the magical mystery tour. 431 00:19:46,333 --> 00:19:47,292 [Chuckling] 432 00:19:47,375 --> 00:19:48,833 Is this like this all the time, 433 00:19:48,917 --> 00:19:50,042 with the entryway blocked? 434 00:19:50,125 --> 00:19:51,333 Yeah. 435 00:19:51,417 --> 00:19:53,833 Did you ever cook in this, in this kitchen? 436 00:19:53,833 --> 00:19:55,042 Okay. 437 00:19:55,125 --> 00:19:56,833 I have eggs in the fridge there that are 438 00:19:56,833 --> 00:19:58,875 probably eight months old. 439 00:19:58,958 --> 00:20:01,750 This bacon, I don't know how long it's been in here. 440 00:20:01,875 --> 00:20:03,083 Wow... 441 00:20:03,167 --> 00:20:04,750 Oh, there, okay. 442 00:20:04,833 --> 00:20:07,042 "December 0-2". 443 00:20:07,167 --> 00:20:09,333 Okay, so that- is that 2002? 444 00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:12,375 It's just 20 years it's been sitting in there. 445 00:20:12,458 --> 00:20:16,000 That bacon has been in your fridge for 20 years? 446 00:20:16,125 --> 00:20:17,292 I guess so. 447 00:20:17,375 --> 00:20:19,292 I think that's what the date tells us. 448 00:20:19,375 --> 00:20:22,500 So, tell me why you think it's there. 449 00:20:22,625 --> 00:20:25,125 For the same reason I keep the Kleenex boxes. 450 00:20:25,208 --> 00:20:26,708 I'm lazy. 451 00:20:26,792 --> 00:20:28,083 I'm just too lazy to get rid of it, 452 00:20:28,167 --> 00:20:30,375 most of it, yeah, the bacon... 453 00:20:30,542 --> 00:20:33,750 David has developed a narrative that he's lazy, 454 00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:37,000 and all of this is Elizabeth's fault. 455 00:20:37,042 --> 00:20:40,667 He's even gone so far as to question 456 00:20:40,667 --> 00:20:44,125 whether or not Elizabeth is actually sick. 457 00:20:44,208 --> 00:20:46,542 This is a woman who has had chronic fatigue 458 00:20:46,542 --> 00:20:48,792 for most of their marriage, 459 00:20:48,875 --> 00:20:52,458 and recently underwent open heart surgery. 460 00:20:52,542 --> 00:20:54,083 This is Elizabeth's room. 461 00:20:54,167 --> 00:20:56,208 [Natasha] To suggest that she 462 00:20:56,292 --> 00:20:58,375 may not actually be sick 463 00:20:58,500 --> 00:21:01,833 is a complete sign of denial. 464 00:21:01,875 --> 00:21:04,958 In order to get their home decluttered, 465 00:21:05,042 --> 00:21:08,792 I'm going to have to help David change his mind and 466 00:21:08,875 --> 00:21:10,625 take more responsibility. 467 00:21:10,708 --> 00:21:12,958 So, she was, this was the room that she was living in? 468 00:21:13,042 --> 00:21:14,292 And before that, she was- 469 00:21:14,375 --> 00:21:16,000 you were sleeping in the same bedroom? 470 00:21:16,125 --> 00:21:18,542 Yeah, for a few years. Couple years. 471 00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:20,833 And how did you feel when she moved over here? 472 00:21:20,875 --> 00:21:24,208 We annoyed each other. We both snored, badly. 473 00:21:24,292 --> 00:21:26,167 -Okay, okay. -[Laughing] 474 00:21:26,208 --> 00:21:27,917 We were, we were both bad snorers. 475 00:21:28,042 --> 00:21:29,542 And so, I had to work- 476 00:21:29,625 --> 00:21:31,167 Is that the only reason that she...? 477 00:21:31,250 --> 00:21:34,667 Well, yeah, I think- Well, I... 478 00:21:34,708 --> 00:21:37,500 I don't know, I mean, who knows? 479 00:21:37,625 --> 00:21:39,417 -She made the decision. -When you say, "who knows..." 480 00:21:39,500 --> 00:21:41,333 -Yeah. -The people we live with- 481 00:21:41,375 --> 00:21:43,167 She made the decision and, I lived with it. 482 00:21:43,250 --> 00:21:44,458 When you say, "Who knows," 483 00:21:44,542 --> 00:21:46,000 'cause you've said that a few times- 484 00:21:46,042 --> 00:21:47,833 But it was good for both of us. 485 00:21:47,917 --> 00:21:49,875 So, we both got something from that, 486 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,583 'cause she disturbed me. 487 00:21:51,708 --> 00:21:53,708 I have a question for you. 488 00:21:53,792 --> 00:21:57,000 Do you find it difficult to get into sort of 489 00:21:57,042 --> 00:21:59,000 some deeper conversations? 490 00:21:59,083 --> 00:22:02,375 Because I notice that when I kind of want to go somewhere 491 00:22:02,500 --> 00:22:05,875 that's a little more serious, that you... 492 00:22:05,958 --> 00:22:09,750 kind of hijack us and take it to a different- 493 00:22:09,833 --> 00:22:12,292 We didn't take, we didn't do a lot of serious 494 00:22:12,375 --> 00:22:14,333 conversations about stuff. 495 00:22:14,375 --> 00:22:15,583 We didn't talk about stuff like that. 496 00:22:15,708 --> 00:22:17,333 We didn't talk about much. 497 00:22:17,417 --> 00:22:20,500 Why do you think that you and Elizabeth 498 00:22:20,583 --> 00:22:24,792 have stayed married all these years? 499 00:22:24,875 --> 00:22:27,333 Well, I think... 500 00:22:27,417 --> 00:22:30,583 we have our, our differences, and... 501 00:22:30,667 --> 00:22:35,333 but all in all, you know, we have the kids and... 502 00:22:35,500 --> 00:22:37,750 it's a lot of hassle to get divorced, 503 00:22:37,833 --> 00:22:40,542 and bad financial things can happen. 504 00:22:40,667 --> 00:22:45,125 So, I just didn't really want to get into that. 505 00:22:45,208 --> 00:22:46,500 And I don't- you'll have to ask her 506 00:22:46,625 --> 00:22:49,333 what her reasons for staying was. 507 00:22:49,417 --> 00:22:52,292 Do you have love for her? Do you love her? 508 00:22:52,375 --> 00:22:55,833 I would say no. I would- 509 00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:57,250 If she was in danger, 510 00:22:57,333 --> 00:23:00,667 I would give up my life to protect her. 511 00:23:00,750 --> 00:23:02,583 But... 512 00:23:02,708 --> 00:23:05,917 I don't think that we really love each other... 513 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:07,750 anymore... 514 00:23:07,833 --> 00:23:10,833 and I'm not sure we ever did, really. 515 00:23:10,875 --> 00:23:14,542 As a therapist, this cleanup is gonna be about me 516 00:23:14,667 --> 00:23:17,500 working with two hoarding individuals, 517 00:23:17,542 --> 00:23:20,250 but it's also going to be about my working with 518 00:23:20,333 --> 00:23:22,917 a couple, and helping them to come together 519 00:23:23,042 --> 00:23:24,750 and work as a team. 520 00:23:24,750 --> 00:23:27,833 -You want to see my bedroom? -Yes, let's see your room. 521 00:23:27,875 --> 00:23:30,000 It's a little crowded with stuff. 522 00:23:30,042 --> 00:23:33,667 ♪ 523 00:23:33,792 --> 00:23:36,375 There's the bed, it's made for the day. 524 00:23:36,500 --> 00:23:38,208 And this is Mom and Dad. 525 00:23:38,292 --> 00:23:39,542 Yeah, you've got this photo, like, 526 00:23:39,625 --> 00:23:41,375 really prominently displayed. 527 00:23:41,458 --> 00:23:43,750 My dad, the war pilot. 528 00:23:43,833 --> 00:23:45,125 World War II. 529 00:23:45,208 --> 00:23:47,542 Trained in Britain. 530 00:23:47,667 --> 00:23:50,250 Mom was English, and was a war bride. 531 00:23:50,333 --> 00:23:52,542 What was your mom like? 532 00:23:52,667 --> 00:23:55,333 Oh, she was, she was a wonderful person. 533 00:23:55,417 --> 00:23:57,333 She, she was just so friendly. 534 00:23:57,500 --> 00:23:59,500 She was a workaholic. 535 00:23:59,583 --> 00:24:01,292 She cleaned, and... 536 00:24:01,375 --> 00:24:03,417 this would have disgusted her and 537 00:24:03,500 --> 00:24:04,792 would never have got like that. 538 00:24:04,792 --> 00:24:06,500 You grew up in a home that looked very different. 539 00:24:06,583 --> 00:24:08,500 Oh, yeah, when people came to visit, 540 00:24:08,625 --> 00:24:10,792 if they were sitting on the couch or something, 541 00:24:10,875 --> 00:24:13,167 after they left, she'd get out the vacuum, 542 00:24:13,208 --> 00:24:16,000 vacuum everywhere they'd been and where they walked. 543 00:24:16,042 --> 00:24:18,958 David's mom's behavior and David's behavior 544 00:24:19,042 --> 00:24:21,625 appear to be different, but actually, 545 00:24:21,708 --> 00:24:24,167 the underlying motivation is the same, 546 00:24:24,250 --> 00:24:26,125 and that is the compulsive need to 547 00:24:26,208 --> 00:24:27,792 control their environment. 548 00:24:27,875 --> 00:24:29,333 You loved her a lot, I think. 549 00:24:29,375 --> 00:24:31,042 -Yeah, yeah. -Yeah. 550 00:24:31,167 --> 00:24:33,000 She was just a great person. 551 00:24:33,042 --> 00:24:37,000 It's going to be very hard to change his overall mindset, 552 00:24:37,208 --> 00:24:40,083 and ensure that this is not just a cleanup, 553 00:24:40,167 --> 00:24:42,208 but a lifelong change. 554 00:24:42,292 --> 00:24:43,792 ♪ 555 00:24:47,917 --> 00:24:57,000 ♪ 556 00:24:58,250 --> 00:25:00,542 I think it's been about 15 years since 557 00:25:00,667 --> 00:25:05,417 we've seen large sections of the floor. 558 00:25:05,542 --> 00:25:07,583 [Wendy] I don't want to find him one day, 559 00:25:07,667 --> 00:25:11,250 lying in a pile or under a pile. 560 00:25:11,250 --> 00:25:15,375 [Kathy] No one should have to live in those conditions. 561 00:25:15,500 --> 00:25:18,542 Hoarding disorder's defined by three elements. 562 00:25:18,625 --> 00:25:21,625 The first is a compulsive need to purchase and 563 00:25:21,708 --> 00:25:23,917 acquire new items. 564 00:25:23,917 --> 00:25:26,583 The second, is the items that are accumulated 565 00:25:26,708 --> 00:25:29,750 in the home are disorganized and cluttered. 566 00:25:29,833 --> 00:25:33,792 And the third, is the need to save and keep those items. 567 00:25:33,792 --> 00:25:37,292 And it's very distressing to part with those things. 568 00:25:37,375 --> 00:25:46,958 ♪ 569 00:25:47,042 --> 00:25:49,667 My stomach is in knots, but I don't know 570 00:25:49,792 --> 00:25:51,375 if it was not eating during the day, 571 00:25:51,458 --> 00:25:54,542 or eating breakfast at 9 o'clock at night. 572 00:25:54,625 --> 00:25:56,250 But it was kind of quick for breakfast. 573 00:25:56,333 --> 00:25:57,833 You didn't eat until 9 last night? 574 00:25:57,875 --> 00:25:59,792 -You didn't have anything? -Not really. 575 00:25:59,875 --> 00:26:02,500 Oh, David, that's not good for you. 576 00:26:02,583 --> 00:26:04,083 I know. 577 00:26:04,208 --> 00:26:06,875 Stressed out. Tired. 578 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:08,667 Not sleeping. 579 00:26:08,792 --> 00:26:16,125 ♪ 580 00:26:16,208 --> 00:26:17,500 My name is Effy Terry. 581 00:26:17,583 --> 00:26:19,500 I'm an organizing expert, and I specialize in 582 00:26:19,583 --> 00:26:22,333 ADHD and hoarding disorder. 583 00:26:22,417 --> 00:26:24,500 -Hello, everyone. -Hi! 584 00:26:24,583 --> 00:26:27,375 I want to introduce you all to Effy. 585 00:26:27,458 --> 00:26:29,500 Effy is a professional organizer, 586 00:26:29,583 --> 00:26:31,000 and she's going to talk to you a little bit more 587 00:26:31,083 --> 00:26:32,333 about what she does. 588 00:26:32,333 --> 00:26:35,917 My job is to help you with your physical possessions- 589 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:37,958 What you want to keep and what you want to let go of. 590 00:26:38,042 --> 00:26:40,500 So, what I'd like to do at this point is ask Kathy and 591 00:26:40,542 --> 00:26:43,667 Wendy to give me a tour, if that's okay with you? 592 00:26:43,750 --> 00:26:45,958 -Sure. -That sounds good. 593 00:26:47,333 --> 00:26:48,625 Wow. 594 00:26:48,708 --> 00:26:51,000 When I entered the house, it looked like 595 00:26:51,042 --> 00:26:54,833 a surly child had just thrown things about. 596 00:26:54,917 --> 00:26:58,000 I think we are in for a rocky road ahead. 597 00:26:58,083 --> 00:26:59,750 And this does not look very safe here. 598 00:26:59,875 --> 00:27:01,917 I'll try to inch in here. 599 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,000 Not really sure where to stand. 600 00:27:04,083 --> 00:27:06,833 Whoops, avalanche! 601 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:08,542 And is this how you remember the room 602 00:27:08,625 --> 00:27:09,542 when you were growing up? 603 00:27:09,625 --> 00:27:11,500 It was not this bad. 604 00:27:11,583 --> 00:27:13,042 It was always a bit cluttered. 605 00:27:13,125 --> 00:27:16,000 Like, he always had the stuff, the ornaments. 606 00:27:16,083 --> 00:27:18,625 My mom is also interested in the figurines. 607 00:27:18,708 --> 00:27:21,083 That's actually how her and my dad bonded. 608 00:27:21,167 --> 00:27:24,042 Have you ever attempted to remove things from the home? 609 00:27:24,042 --> 00:27:25,917 We've always tried to remove things. 610 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:29,667 So, for example, there was those huge stacks of papers. 611 00:27:29,750 --> 00:27:31,792 We had a cat, and the cat had destroyed them. 612 00:27:31,875 --> 00:27:33,792 They were all, they were just... 613 00:27:33,875 --> 00:27:35,667 -Shredded. -Shredded papers. 614 00:27:35,750 --> 00:27:38,167 So, we tried to get rid of those, 615 00:27:38,250 --> 00:27:40,625 and it took a long time for him to accept 616 00:27:40,708 --> 00:27:42,542 that they were garbage. 617 00:27:42,542 --> 00:27:44,958 Okay. 618 00:27:45,042 --> 00:27:47,125 She has fallen down the stairs a couple of times 619 00:27:47,208 --> 00:27:48,333 or tripped down them. 620 00:27:48,375 --> 00:27:50,333 Yeah, and all of these things are tripping hazards. 621 00:27:50,375 --> 00:27:51,958 -Yeah. -All of the paper 622 00:27:52,042 --> 00:27:55,083 I'll move this out of the way for you. 623 00:27:55,167 --> 00:27:56,917 Whose room is this that we're going into now? 624 00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:58,458 This is my mom's room. 625 00:27:58,542 --> 00:27:59,875 It used to be Wendy's bedroom, though, 626 00:27:59,958 --> 00:28:00,917 when we were younger. 627 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:04,042 -Okay. -It's been sad to see... 628 00:28:04,042 --> 00:28:05,833 ...the house we grew up in, 629 00:28:05,917 --> 00:28:08,042 basically become a garbage pile. 630 00:28:08,042 --> 00:28:09,208 Wow. 631 00:28:09,292 --> 00:28:11,500 [Kathy] This is where my dad sleeps and 632 00:28:11,542 --> 00:28:13,250 was my parents' bedroom... 633 00:28:13,333 --> 00:28:14,542 when we were growing up. 634 00:28:14,625 --> 00:28:17,667 [Coughing] 635 00:28:17,792 --> 00:28:20,000 [Wendy] Careful... Uh-oh. 636 00:28:20,042 --> 00:28:22,958 There's a lot of things I still recognize, like this. 637 00:28:23,042 --> 00:28:27,333 This plate reminded my mom of her, her father. 638 00:28:27,417 --> 00:28:30,083 It's just lying here on the pile of Kleenex boxes. 639 00:28:30,167 --> 00:28:37,625 ♪ 640 00:28:37,708 --> 00:28:39,000 -[Coughing] -Are you doing okay? 641 00:28:39,083 --> 00:28:41,417 It feels like you're, you're breathing is a little... 642 00:28:41,500 --> 00:28:43,458 Yeah, it's, I have allergies and so, 643 00:28:43,542 --> 00:28:44,833 it's very dusty up here. 644 00:28:44,917 --> 00:28:46,542 And I don't know, probably it's been 645 00:28:46,625 --> 00:28:48,667 15, 20 years since they vacuumed. 646 00:28:48,750 --> 00:28:50,792 So, my dad's way of dealing with it 647 00:28:50,875 --> 00:28:53,000 is to buy air purifiers. 648 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:56,875 An air purifier is just not going to cut it. 649 00:28:56,875 --> 00:28:58,667 What are your goals in all of this? 650 00:28:58,708 --> 00:29:00,833 Like, how is this affecting you? 651 00:29:00,917 --> 00:29:04,750 I don't want this to be my problem one day. 652 00:29:04,833 --> 00:29:06,917 So, when they're gone... 653 00:29:07,042 --> 00:29:09,333 someone's going to have to deal with it. 654 00:29:09,375 --> 00:29:11,042 I don't want this for their retirement. 655 00:29:11,167 --> 00:29:13,667 I know that it weighs on him heavily, and... 656 00:29:13,708 --> 00:29:16,083 he's stuck. 657 00:29:16,167 --> 00:29:18,333 For him to have picked up the phone to call and 658 00:29:18,375 --> 00:29:20,292 ask for help was huge. 659 00:29:20,375 --> 00:29:22,958 I can see, although you will leave the house today, 660 00:29:23,042 --> 00:29:24,083 this doesn't leave you. 661 00:29:24,167 --> 00:29:26,000 The clutter doesn't leave you. 662 00:29:26,083 --> 00:29:29,833 -The smell won't either. -[Laughing] 663 00:29:29,875 --> 00:29:32,125 -It's sad. -It is sad. 664 00:29:32,208 --> 00:29:35,875 You're absolutely right, it is sad. 665 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,167 Of course, I love my dad, it's just... 666 00:29:38,250 --> 00:29:40,083 sometimes he makes it really hard. 667 00:29:40,208 --> 00:29:41,833 I wouldn't be here if I didn't love him, 668 00:29:41,917 --> 00:29:44,000 I don't think any of us would be. 669 00:29:44,083 --> 00:29:46,333 This is- we could have all just walked away years ago 670 00:29:46,375 --> 00:29:49,750 and washed their hands of it, and we haven't. 671 00:29:49,875 --> 00:29:51,667 So, this is the kitchen. 672 00:29:51,667 --> 00:29:54,292 -That's nasty. -Don't look at it! 673 00:29:54,375 --> 00:29:55,750 ♪ 674 00:29:55,833 --> 00:29:57,542 [Wendy] It's so disgusting. 675 00:29:57,625 --> 00:29:58,833 How can you make a meal in there? 676 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,375 Like, how do you find a pot to cook in? 677 00:30:01,500 --> 00:30:03,208 [Effy] And I do see evidence of mouse droppings. 678 00:30:03,333 --> 00:30:07,333 -Yeah, a lot. -It's so repulsive. 679 00:30:07,417 --> 00:30:09,125 [Coughing] 680 00:30:09,208 --> 00:30:12,292 ♪ 681 00:30:12,375 --> 00:30:13,667 I'm just... 682 00:30:13,792 --> 00:30:14,958 If you're having trouble breathing, 683 00:30:15,042 --> 00:30:16,458 let's just get you outside. 684 00:30:16,542 --> 00:30:18,750 Okay, yeah, the air quality in here is not very good, 685 00:30:18,875 --> 00:30:21,250 so I just need a break. 686 00:30:21,375 --> 00:30:28,750 ♪ 687 00:30:28,875 --> 00:30:30,708 My allergies are acting up, so I have like- 688 00:30:30,833 --> 00:30:32,208 I feel like I have a frog in my throat, 689 00:30:32,292 --> 00:30:33,917 so I just needed some fresh air for a bit 690 00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,333 because I'm not used to it anymore, so... 691 00:30:36,417 --> 00:30:37,542 I needed a break. 692 00:30:37,667 --> 00:30:39,708 I don't think there's a lot of mouse poop upstairs. 693 00:30:39,792 --> 00:30:41,125 No, it's from the dust. 694 00:30:41,208 --> 00:30:43,375 Oh, the dust, okay, there's dust everywhere. 695 00:30:43,458 --> 00:30:45,583 I'm allergic to dust and mold and all that stuff, 696 00:30:45,667 --> 00:30:47,292 so I needed a break. 697 00:30:47,375 --> 00:30:49,417 Yeah, there's a, it's... 698 00:30:49,500 --> 00:30:52,083 I don't know about mold, but it's probably dust upstairs. 699 00:30:52,167 --> 00:30:54,875 He'll sit and listen, and he won't say anything. 700 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,542 And then he'll just be like, "No, it's my way." 701 00:30:57,625 --> 00:30:59,042 Yeah. 702 00:30:59,208 --> 00:31:01,625 For our own kind of sanity, you just have to let it go. 703 00:31:01,708 --> 00:31:08,583 ♪ 704 00:31:08,708 --> 00:31:10,000 Sometimes, not for everyone, 705 00:31:10,042 --> 00:31:11,583 but sometimes for some people, 706 00:31:11,667 --> 00:31:13,583 they may have experienced a really 707 00:31:13,667 --> 00:31:15,833 adverse event in their life. 708 00:31:15,917 --> 00:31:17,167 Do you think there is anything about the way 709 00:31:17,250 --> 00:31:20,417 you grew up that is connected to... 710 00:31:20,542 --> 00:31:21,917 this behavior? 711 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:23,333 I didn't have a lot. 712 00:31:23,375 --> 00:31:25,500 My family moved around every couple of years, 713 00:31:25,583 --> 00:31:27,500 my father was... 714 00:31:27,625 --> 00:31:31,333 a doctor in the armed forces and, every two years... 715 00:31:31,375 --> 00:31:35,792 we moved to a different city or province. 716 00:31:35,875 --> 00:31:37,750 As a kid, we were very, very poor. 717 00:31:37,833 --> 00:31:39,500 I didn't like to live that way. 718 00:31:39,625 --> 00:31:41,833 So, when I got started work and 719 00:31:41,917 --> 00:31:43,917 started getting money, then... 720 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:46,250 I found... 721 00:31:46,333 --> 00:31:48,333 having things, and keeping them- 722 00:31:48,375 --> 00:31:49,875 I don't like to get rid of them because 723 00:31:49,958 --> 00:31:51,583 you never know when you can use them again, 724 00:31:51,667 --> 00:31:53,958 and I just feel that's a waste. 725 00:31:54,042 --> 00:31:57,667 I think it's a narrative I can certainly understand, 726 00:31:57,708 --> 00:32:01,333 but I also think it's a way for you to rationalize... 727 00:32:01,458 --> 00:32:04,375 buying and holding onto the stuff. 728 00:32:04,458 --> 00:32:05,917 You know, to actually- 729 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:07,167 And you are saying that's a bad thing? 730 00:32:07,208 --> 00:32:09,000 Mhm- Well, I'm not saying it's bad. 731 00:32:09,083 --> 00:32:10,667 I'm not gonna say anything's bad, 732 00:32:10,708 --> 00:32:12,917 but I am gonna say it's not healthy. 733 00:32:13,042 --> 00:32:15,500 The healthier you are, the more you can 734 00:32:15,583 --> 00:32:17,875 give and be to those you love. 735 00:32:17,958 --> 00:32:19,792 So, when you take that mindset, 736 00:32:19,875 --> 00:32:22,167 it doesn't feel so wasteful or shameful 737 00:32:22,208 --> 00:32:23,958 to throw something away. 738 00:32:23,958 --> 00:32:26,125 -Does that make sense? -Oh, perfectly. 739 00:32:26,208 --> 00:32:28,833 David, any additional thoughts? 740 00:32:28,875 --> 00:32:31,167 -No. -Okay. 741 00:32:31,208 --> 00:32:34,875 I can't get a sense of a particularly triggering event 742 00:32:34,958 --> 00:32:36,542 that caused this. 743 00:32:36,542 --> 00:32:39,042 This seems to be a pattern that has developed 744 00:32:39,167 --> 00:32:41,458 over a long period of time. 745 00:32:41,458 --> 00:32:43,500 They're going to have to recognize that they both have 746 00:32:43,625 --> 00:32:47,083 a problem, and come together as a couple... 747 00:32:47,167 --> 00:32:50,125 and I think that it's going to be very difficult. 748 00:32:50,208 --> 00:32:52,083 I want to know, David, from you- 749 00:32:52,167 --> 00:32:54,875 are you thinking that because 750 00:32:54,958 --> 00:32:57,167 Elizabeth is no longer here, 751 00:32:57,208 --> 00:32:59,667 that we're going to be moving out most of her things, 752 00:32:59,750 --> 00:33:01,042 or only her things? 753 00:33:01,042 --> 00:33:02,875 Gonna be equal- we're getting rid of nothing. 754 00:33:02,958 --> 00:33:05,042 [Laughing] No, we are. 755 00:33:05,125 --> 00:33:07,208 So, that's kind of contradictory- 756 00:33:07,292 --> 00:33:10,792 I'm not having anything to say about her stuff. 757 00:33:10,875 --> 00:33:13,833 If she wants to keep it, it can stay here. 758 00:33:13,958 --> 00:33:16,250 I agree, like, David can keep 759 00:33:16,333 --> 00:33:19,000 whatever he wants of his things... 760 00:33:19,042 --> 00:33:21,958 Not that he's going to use them every day, 761 00:33:22,042 --> 00:33:24,083 but just that they won't be lying around and 762 00:33:24,208 --> 00:33:26,167 blocking the stairway. 763 00:33:26,292 --> 00:33:28,500 What I'm hearing is you enabling each other to 764 00:33:28,583 --> 00:33:32,000 let your things stay, and I want it to be the reverse. 765 00:33:32,083 --> 00:33:34,458 I want you guys to kind of cheer each other on, 766 00:33:34,542 --> 00:33:37,750 and know that you can let this stuff go. 767 00:33:37,875 --> 00:33:41,333 If somebody's thinking we're getting rid of a lot of stuff, 768 00:33:41,417 --> 00:33:43,708 that's not going to happen. 769 00:33:43,833 --> 00:33:45,167 Okay, I mean- 770 00:33:45,250 --> 00:33:46,750 You can talk until you're blue in the face. 771 00:33:46,833 --> 00:33:48,667 It ain't gonna happen. 772 00:33:48,708 --> 00:33:50,500 ♪ 773 00:33:54,875 --> 00:34:04,833 ♪ 774 00:34:19,667 --> 00:34:22,042 Good morning, everyone. So great to see you all. 775 00:34:22,125 --> 00:34:24,833 We are here to help you reclaim your house, 776 00:34:24,875 --> 00:34:26,917 and reclaim your life. 777 00:34:26,917 --> 00:34:28,583 No pressure. 778 00:34:28,667 --> 00:34:36,208 ♪ 779 00:34:36,292 --> 00:34:38,292 -I'm ready to help. -Awesome. 780 00:34:38,375 --> 00:34:40,250 We have a big job ahead of us, 781 00:34:40,375 --> 00:34:43,542 and I really want to emphasize that this process 782 00:34:43,542 --> 00:34:46,333 is not just about letting go of your things. 783 00:34:46,458 --> 00:34:49,375 It's also about letting go of the past, 784 00:34:49,500 --> 00:34:52,833 so that you can build a better future. 785 00:34:52,917 --> 00:34:55,667 -Sure. -"Sure"? 786 00:34:55,750 --> 00:34:57,125 -Yes. -You sound... 787 00:34:57,208 --> 00:34:58,958 Wishy washy? Oh, good. 788 00:34:59,042 --> 00:35:00,417 -Yeah! -Then, that was perfect. 789 00:35:00,542 --> 00:35:02,000 Okay, is that how you're feeling? 790 00:35:02,083 --> 00:35:03,792 -I'm fine. -Okay. 791 00:35:03,875 --> 00:35:06,792 I'm going to really need you to be very real with me 792 00:35:06,875 --> 00:35:08,542 in this process, okay? 793 00:35:08,625 --> 00:35:11,333 -I don't have that button. -I'm going to push it. 794 00:35:11,375 --> 00:35:12,500 -Oh. -You've got one. 795 00:35:12,625 --> 00:35:14,000 I'm going to push that button, David. 796 00:35:14,042 --> 00:35:15,333 Okay. 797 00:35:15,417 --> 00:35:17,500 For David to make a really radical change, 798 00:35:17,542 --> 00:35:20,208 he's going to have to get out of his comfort zone. 799 00:35:20,292 --> 00:35:22,125 And I'm just not sure if David is going to 800 00:35:22,208 --> 00:35:23,792 be able to do that. 801 00:35:23,875 --> 00:35:26,167 Elizabeth, how about you? How are you feeling? 802 00:35:26,208 --> 00:35:27,625 Are you ready to get rid of some stuff? 803 00:35:27,708 --> 00:35:29,667 I'm ready. 804 00:35:29,750 --> 00:35:33,333 I think my mom is closer to parting with her things. 805 00:35:33,375 --> 00:35:36,083 I think that after her heart surgery, she... 806 00:35:36,167 --> 00:35:38,708 reflected on what was important to her. 807 00:35:38,833 --> 00:35:42,292 Whereas, my dad hasn't had that life changing experience. 808 00:35:42,375 --> 00:35:43,708 Extreme Clean Group is here. 809 00:35:43,833 --> 00:35:46,042 There are 15 of us, total, so we're a good team. 810 00:35:46,125 --> 00:35:47,500 Lots of people here to help. 811 00:35:47,583 --> 00:35:50,875 Do you give the family and the cleaners and myself 812 00:35:50,958 --> 00:35:52,833 permission to, right away, 813 00:35:52,833 --> 00:35:55,000 get rid of certain things, like garbage? Elizabeth? 814 00:35:55,083 --> 00:35:56,250 -Yes. -Yes. 815 00:35:56,333 --> 00:35:58,375 What is garbage to you, David? 816 00:35:58,500 --> 00:36:00,750 -Old Kleenex boxes. -Okay. 817 00:36:00,833 --> 00:36:04,625 Have a good treasure trove of those all over the house. 818 00:36:04,708 --> 00:36:06,333 Okay. And you used the word treasure, 819 00:36:06,417 --> 00:36:07,417 but they're not treasures. 820 00:36:07,500 --> 00:36:09,167 -It's a joke. -It's garbage, okay. 821 00:36:09,250 --> 00:36:10,667 [Laughing] 822 00:36:10,792 --> 00:36:13,667 He makes his jokes now, and they're not funny anymore. 823 00:36:13,708 --> 00:36:16,375 I think we're good to go, if everybody's ready to go? 824 00:36:16,458 --> 00:36:18,833 -How are we feeling, family? -We're ready to go! 825 00:36:18,875 --> 00:36:20,875 -Natasha? -I'm good to go. 826 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:23,792 -Let's do this! -Alright! 827 00:36:23,875 --> 00:36:25,083 Pass... 828 00:36:25,167 --> 00:36:29,250 [Indistinct speaking] ...a nice green. 829 00:36:29,375 --> 00:36:31,042 If it's a yes, let me know. 830 00:36:31,042 --> 00:36:32,667 Otherwise, I'll put it on the top here. 831 00:36:32,708 --> 00:36:34,167 Oh, no. 832 00:36:34,250 --> 00:36:36,708 Pillows that have got like soil marks on them 833 00:36:36,792 --> 00:36:37,667 and weird stains? 834 00:36:37,750 --> 00:36:38,750 Throw it out. 835 00:36:38,875 --> 00:36:41,250 -There's no insignia? -No, that's plastic. 836 00:36:41,375 --> 00:36:42,792 -No, they can go. -No, I don't want it. 837 00:36:42,875 --> 00:36:44,375 That's garbage. 838 00:36:44,458 --> 00:36:53,375 ♪ 839 00:36:53,375 --> 00:36:55,792 Significant document. 840 00:36:55,875 --> 00:36:57,167 That's not significant. 841 00:36:57,208 --> 00:36:59,583 Oh, okay. No, I'm keeping it. 842 00:36:59,667 --> 00:37:02,750 Why do you want to keep that? 843 00:37:02,833 --> 00:37:05,208 It's a payslip. 844 00:37:05,292 --> 00:37:07,042 From your retired job, what's the year on it? 845 00:37:07,125 --> 00:37:09,250 -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -2011. 846 00:37:09,375 --> 00:37:11,042 I think Natasha would probably want to 847 00:37:11,042 --> 00:37:12,167 talk to you about that one. 848 00:37:12,292 --> 00:37:13,167 -Natasha? -Yeah. 849 00:37:13,250 --> 00:37:14,833 Okay... 850 00:37:14,917 --> 00:37:18,792 He is not willing to listen to reason a lot of the time. 851 00:37:18,875 --> 00:37:22,333 That's why we're in the situation where we are today. 852 00:37:22,417 --> 00:37:25,333 David, sorry, can you bring that document back over? 853 00:37:25,417 --> 00:37:26,625 Is that going in a keep pile or a trash pile? 854 00:37:26,708 --> 00:37:28,583 -That's where he put it. -Okay. 855 00:37:28,667 --> 00:37:32,375 Tell me why you want to keep this. 856 00:37:32,458 --> 00:37:34,042 If you're both going to be on my back about it, 857 00:37:34,125 --> 00:37:35,500 then I'll let it go. 858 00:37:35,500 --> 00:37:37,083 Otherwise, I would have just put it in the keep pile. 859 00:37:37,208 --> 00:37:38,667 -But, see, but- -That's why we're here. 860 00:37:38,792 --> 00:37:40,125 I have all my payslips, 861 00:37:40,208 --> 00:37:41,625 back from when I started working, so... 862 00:37:41,708 --> 00:37:44,625 I just have them in case I need them for something. 863 00:37:44,708 --> 00:37:46,708 What might you need them for? 864 00:37:46,792 --> 00:37:48,667 Ah... 865 00:37:48,750 --> 00:37:51,750 Show what income I was making during certain periods. 866 00:37:51,875 --> 00:37:54,125 Might need it for court or something, you never know. 867 00:37:54,208 --> 00:37:55,542 When you say, "You never know," 868 00:37:55,625 --> 00:37:56,917 you're right, you never know. 869 00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:59,000 We can't predict everything. 870 00:37:59,083 --> 00:38:01,625 We can't control everything. 871 00:38:01,708 --> 00:38:05,292 So, if you try, it's just going to become overwhelming, 872 00:38:05,375 --> 00:38:08,500 and this is all going to happen again. 873 00:38:08,542 --> 00:38:12,000 I might throw them out later, I don't know, not today. 874 00:38:12,042 --> 00:38:13,208 So you're not going to do it? 875 00:38:13,333 --> 00:38:15,417 -No. -Why not? 876 00:38:15,417 --> 00:38:18,000 Because I don't want to. 877 00:38:18,083 --> 00:38:20,458 Do you want the house to go back to looking like this 878 00:38:20,542 --> 00:38:22,167 after we've packed up and gone? 879 00:38:22,250 --> 00:38:24,333 -Hopefully not. -Okay, that's good. 880 00:38:24,417 --> 00:38:26,500 Do you think you could try... 881 00:38:26,542 --> 00:38:29,250 Just try, just try putting it into the trash? 882 00:38:29,333 --> 00:38:31,250 It's not supposed to feel comfortable. 883 00:38:31,333 --> 00:38:33,292 I'm going to ask you, do this for me. 884 00:38:33,375 --> 00:38:34,833 I want you to take the- 885 00:38:34,917 --> 00:38:36,667 I don't think we're at that point in our relationship. 886 00:38:36,750 --> 00:38:37,875 I want you to do it for me then. 887 00:38:38,042 --> 00:38:41,167 You know what? That's, that's a really good point. 888 00:38:41,208 --> 00:38:42,917 If you're not going to do this for me, 889 00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:46,292 if you're not going to do this for you, or for me... 890 00:38:46,375 --> 00:38:49,000 can you do this for her? 891 00:38:49,083 --> 00:38:51,792 Hm... 892 00:38:51,875 --> 00:38:54,500 I think I'd do it for you before her. 893 00:38:54,625 --> 00:38:56,667 -Well, that's sad of you. -[Laughing] 894 00:38:56,750 --> 00:38:58,583 It's not a joke, Dad, like... 895 00:38:58,667 --> 00:39:00,417 For it to be kidding, I have to think it's funny, 896 00:39:00,500 --> 00:39:01,542 and I don't think it's funny. 897 00:39:01,625 --> 00:39:04,083 Oh, okay. Not worried about it today. 898 00:39:04,167 --> 00:39:05,500 It's that big. 899 00:39:05,917 --> 00:39:07,875 We can't even get David to throw away 900 00:39:07,958 --> 00:39:09,542 one single document. 901 00:39:09,667 --> 00:39:11,208 How are we going to get him to tackle 902 00:39:11,292 --> 00:39:13,542 the entire houseful of stuff? 903 00:39:13,708 --> 00:39:15,292 ♪ 904 00:39:19,667 --> 00:39:23,500 ♪ 905 00:39:23,583 --> 00:39:25,792 Okay, is it like a tax document? 906 00:39:25,875 --> 00:39:27,750 Very early in the sorting process, 907 00:39:27,750 --> 00:39:30,000 we can't even get David to throw away 908 00:39:30,125 --> 00:39:31,792 one single document. 909 00:39:31,958 --> 00:39:33,375 It's one little document. 910 00:39:33,458 --> 00:39:36,042 If he can't get through that decision making, 911 00:39:36,125 --> 00:39:38,542 he's not going to be able to maintain the house 912 00:39:38,625 --> 00:39:41,083 that we're working so hard right now to clean. 913 00:39:41,167 --> 00:39:42,625 -[Laughing] -It's not a joke, Dad. 914 00:39:42,708 --> 00:39:46,333 What's really happening here, is that Kathy is feeling like 915 00:39:46,417 --> 00:39:48,333 that document is more important than her. 916 00:39:48,417 --> 00:39:50,375 I would like you to move past this, 917 00:39:50,500 --> 00:39:52,792 and not have to talk about every single paper. 918 00:39:52,875 --> 00:39:54,667 So, I just want you to put it in the bag 919 00:39:54,792 --> 00:39:57,042 because you really don't need it. 920 00:39:57,125 --> 00:39:58,292 Like, you have to trust me that 921 00:39:58,375 --> 00:39:59,875 I know that you don't need that. 922 00:39:59,958 --> 00:40:03,000 ♪ 923 00:40:03,042 --> 00:40:04,708 One document, that's it. 924 00:40:04,792 --> 00:40:07,708 ♪ 925 00:40:07,792 --> 00:40:09,000 Okay. 926 00:40:09,083 --> 00:40:10,583 -Thank you. -You're welcome. 927 00:40:10,667 --> 00:40:12,167 It's a great start. 928 00:40:12,208 --> 00:40:14,750 But, we have a whole house to get to. 929 00:40:14,833 --> 00:40:24,792 ♪ 930 00:40:27,708 --> 00:40:29,000 The couch that's in the hallway, 931 00:40:29,083 --> 00:40:31,250 the flowered couch, are we okay to get rid of that? 932 00:40:31,333 --> 00:40:33,125 -Yeah. -It's okay to get rid of it? 933 00:40:33,208 --> 00:40:34,500 Yeah, don't throw it out. 934 00:40:34,542 --> 00:40:35,458 That was my grandma's couch, it's an antique. 935 00:40:35,542 --> 00:40:37,208 What do you want to happen to it? 936 00:40:37,292 --> 00:40:39,833 -Donate it to somewhere. -Okay. 937 00:40:39,875 --> 00:40:41,208 Great, thank you. 938 00:40:41,333 --> 00:40:44,792 ♪ 939 00:40:44,875 --> 00:40:47,583 -What are you looking at? -[Shuddering] Ugh! 940 00:40:47,708 --> 00:40:48,958 It may have been contaminated... 941 00:40:49,042 --> 00:40:51,250 -Oh, unbelievable! -...by mouse poop, so... 942 00:40:51,375 --> 00:40:53,083 This is unbelievable! 943 00:40:53,208 --> 00:40:55,292 So, don't touch anything, please. Come on in. 944 00:40:55,375 --> 00:40:57,292 This is just disgusting. 945 00:40:57,375 --> 00:40:58,875 Was this not like this 946 00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:00,667 when you were living here, Elizabeth? 947 00:41:00,708 --> 00:41:02,583 Well, it was, but I only used 948 00:41:02,667 --> 00:41:05,458 this certain place on the counter. 949 00:41:05,458 --> 00:41:07,500 But they still use that toaster... 950 00:41:07,583 --> 00:41:10,000 that was sitting on the counter. 951 00:41:10,042 --> 00:41:11,875 And there's more, like... 952 00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:12,958 there's more here, too. 953 00:41:13,042 --> 00:41:14,833 Yep, yep. 954 00:41:14,917 --> 00:41:18,208 It's easy to ignore, and it's easy to just... 955 00:41:18,208 --> 00:41:20,208 pretend like it's not there. 956 00:41:20,333 --> 00:41:22,000 And sometimes we become clutter blind, 957 00:41:22,042 --> 00:41:25,500 or we become blind to what's right in front of us. 958 00:41:25,625 --> 00:41:27,708 The mice in the home is very dangerous. 959 00:41:27,792 --> 00:41:29,625 Mouse poo is very bad for your health. 960 00:41:29,708 --> 00:41:31,500 And mice like to chew. 961 00:41:31,583 --> 00:41:34,500 So, mice will chew through cables, through wiring. 962 00:41:34,583 --> 00:41:37,833 They can literally burn down your house. 963 00:41:37,917 --> 00:41:40,458 I know you're concerned, it's concerning. 964 00:41:40,542 --> 00:41:42,333 How are you feeling after this? 965 00:41:42,417 --> 00:41:44,167 Just checking in to see how you're doing. 966 00:41:44,250 --> 00:41:47,250 It's quite overwhelming, really. 967 00:41:47,333 --> 00:41:49,333 What's overwhelming, Elizabeth? 968 00:41:49,417 --> 00:41:53,375 Ha! Do you have to ask? Ha-ha! Yeah... 969 00:41:53,458 --> 00:41:55,583 -Everything, everything. -It's a lot, it's a lot. 970 00:41:55,667 --> 00:42:00,125 The mouse poo, the filth, the... 971 00:42:00,208 --> 00:42:02,125 the carpets, everything. 972 00:42:02,208 --> 00:42:12,167 ♪ 973 00:42:14,667 --> 00:42:16,875 Wow, where did all this come from? 974 00:42:16,958 --> 00:42:19,250 Your house. Dad, do you want his coat? 975 00:42:19,375 --> 00:42:20,417 Do think there's a mouse in it? 976 00:42:20,500 --> 00:42:21,625 I don't know. 977 00:42:21,708 --> 00:42:23,208 Do you want the empty medication bottles? 978 00:42:23,333 --> 00:42:24,458 -No. -Those can go. 979 00:42:24,542 --> 00:42:25,500 So, you don't want this one anymore? 980 00:42:25,500 --> 00:42:27,500 Well, let me try it on. 981 00:42:27,583 --> 00:42:30,000 As the afternoon unfolds, I see momentum building. 982 00:42:30,042 --> 00:42:31,500 Things are coming out of the house and 983 00:42:31,625 --> 00:42:32,833 decisions are being made. 984 00:42:32,958 --> 00:42:35,458 Oh, yes, that's an old fashioned thing. 985 00:42:35,542 --> 00:42:37,000 I guess we don't need it anymore. 986 00:42:37,042 --> 00:42:41,125 But, they're also spending a lot of time on each item, 987 00:42:41,208 --> 00:42:43,875 and it's really creating a bottleneck in the process. 988 00:42:43,958 --> 00:42:46,042 -That's the giveaway pile. -Really? 989 00:42:46,125 --> 00:42:48,708 -She's giving away her parka? -It's not a parka. 990 00:42:48,792 --> 00:42:50,875 I'm not giving away my parka. 991 00:42:50,875 --> 00:42:53,042 How many winter coats do you need? 992 00:42:53,125 --> 00:42:55,833 -As many as we have here. -I'm dying over here. 993 00:42:55,917 --> 00:42:57,625 Didn't we go through these this morning? 994 00:42:57,708 --> 00:42:59,333 -I don't know. -Holy. 995 00:42:59,375 --> 00:43:01,667 Where's my keepers? On the ground? 996 00:43:01,750 --> 00:43:03,875 Yes, because she needed- I needed to prove to her 997 00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:05,667 that she had three coats in there already. 998 00:43:05,750 --> 00:43:07,708 Wonderful teamwork. 999 00:43:07,792 --> 00:43:14,583 ♪ 1000 00:43:14,667 --> 00:43:16,417 I didn't mean to stop your progress, 1001 00:43:16,500 --> 00:43:17,625 but I just want to check in with you all. 1002 00:43:17,708 --> 00:43:22,500 -How do you feel this is going? -Slowly. 1003 00:43:22,542 --> 00:43:25,667 Mm-hm. What's, what's holding it up? 1004 00:43:25,792 --> 00:43:29,333 I think having to go through every single item... 1005 00:43:29,375 --> 00:43:31,333 and inspect it. 1006 00:43:31,458 --> 00:43:34,042 I don't remember what I've got, so... 1007 00:43:34,125 --> 00:43:37,500 This stuff has been adding up for 40 years or, 1008 00:43:37,583 --> 00:43:39,083 you know, over the 40 years. -42. 1009 00:43:39,167 --> 00:43:40,667 -Yeah. -42. 1010 00:43:40,708 --> 00:43:43,292 Do you see the amount of stuff that's coming out? 1011 00:43:43,375 --> 00:43:45,875 Do you see it as a problem, or do you see it as- 1012 00:43:45,958 --> 00:43:47,625 -There's a lot of stuff. -Okay, okay. 1013 00:43:47,625 --> 00:43:49,708 I'm not interested in emptying out 1014 00:43:49,792 --> 00:43:51,750 the house specifically, really. 1015 00:43:51,833 --> 00:43:53,333 No, you can't have an empty house. 1016 00:43:53,417 --> 00:43:54,708 There's things that I don't... 1017 00:43:54,792 --> 00:43:57,333 I don't think we need to get rid of. 1018 00:43:57,375 --> 00:43:59,667 Sure, but you don't even live in this house anymore. 1019 00:43:59,750 --> 00:44:03,750 So, what you need is what's in your residence. 1020 00:44:03,875 --> 00:44:06,083 Yes, but this is my home, too. 1021 00:44:06,167 --> 00:44:08,542 Sure, but you don't need to use it as a storage unit. 1022 00:44:08,667 --> 00:44:10,875 Well, I can, though. 1023 00:44:10,958 --> 00:44:12,500 Whatever's there and whatever's mine, 1024 00:44:12,542 --> 00:44:14,833 I want a choice. 1025 00:44:14,958 --> 00:44:18,000 If I want, if I want six- if there are six coats and, 1026 00:44:18,083 --> 00:44:20,125 and I'm happy with them, I'll take all six. 1027 00:44:20,208 --> 00:44:22,167 We just want you to make better choices. 1028 00:44:22,250 --> 00:44:23,667 I think that's what she's trying to say. 1029 00:44:23,792 --> 00:44:25,167 Are you saying my choices are wrong? 1030 00:44:25,250 --> 00:44:27,167 We want you to have a new definition of 1031 00:44:27,250 --> 00:44:29,333 what's right for you, okay, a better one. 1032 00:44:29,375 --> 00:44:31,000 I like the old definition. 1033 00:44:31,083 --> 00:44:33,708 -Is it working out for you? -Sure. 1034 00:44:33,792 --> 00:44:35,417 Then why are we here? 1035 00:44:35,542 --> 00:44:38,000 ♪ 1036 00:44:38,083 --> 00:44:41,000 I think my parents need to really re-evaluate how they 1037 00:44:41,083 --> 00:44:44,542 see things and what they need and what they want. 1038 00:44:44,625 --> 00:44:46,333 Well, when I get up to my bedroom and 1039 00:44:46,417 --> 00:44:48,000 I start going through clothing, 1040 00:44:48,042 --> 00:44:50,250 I'm not getting rid of a lot of stuff. 1041 00:44:50,333 --> 00:44:51,833 No one's telling you to get rid of things that 1042 00:44:51,875 --> 00:44:53,292 you want to wear and that fit you, 1043 00:44:53,375 --> 00:44:56,250 but we're challenging you to get rid of the volume. 1044 00:44:56,333 --> 00:44:57,833 Okay, I'm agreeable to that, 1045 00:44:57,917 --> 00:45:00,292 but I want to be able to choose what I'm- 1046 00:45:00,375 --> 00:45:03,208 Yes, you can choose. You're allowed to choose. 1047 00:45:03,292 --> 00:45:06,417 But if it's not your size, it's going. 1048 00:45:06,500 --> 00:45:08,042 -No. -Yes! 1049 00:45:08,208 --> 00:45:09,250 No. 1050 00:45:09,375 --> 00:45:10,708 You don't get a say either in what she keeps. 1051 00:45:10,875 --> 00:45:13,000 I don't care what she thinks, it's what I think. 1052 00:45:13,042 --> 00:45:14,583 -It's what I think. -No, it's her clothes! 1053 00:45:14,583 --> 00:45:16,042 -It's what she thinks! -Well, whatever. 1054 00:45:16,125 --> 00:45:17,542 Whatever she thinks, that- 1055 00:45:17,667 --> 00:45:19,208 It's whatever I think for my choices. 1056 00:45:19,292 --> 00:45:21,333 Okay, but we're talking about her right now. 1057 00:45:21,417 --> 00:45:23,208 I'm just saying she shouldn't be boxed in 1058 00:45:23,292 --> 00:45:24,708 if she doesn't want to be. 1059 00:45:24,833 --> 00:45:26,667 If she, if she's happy with those criteria, then fine. 1060 00:45:26,792 --> 00:45:28,000 I'll speak for myself. 1061 00:45:28,083 --> 00:45:30,375 I mean, I just did so, don't worry about me. 1062 00:45:30,458 --> 00:45:34,542 ♪ 1063 00:45:34,625 --> 00:45:35,750 Can we get on with it? 1064 00:45:35,833 --> 00:45:38,375 I'm sorry, but it's 20 to 6, and... 1065 00:45:38,458 --> 00:45:41,500 I eat at 6, so I want to be back there by 6. 1066 00:45:41,542 --> 00:45:42,750 So, if you're done for today, 1067 00:45:42,833 --> 00:45:44,708 then let's send you back to the home. 1068 00:45:44,792 --> 00:45:46,417 [Natasha] Elizabeth suddenly shows signs of 1069 00:45:46,500 --> 00:45:48,333 being a lot more resistant. 1070 00:45:48,375 --> 00:45:50,667 My concern is that she might be more of a bottleneck 1071 00:45:50,708 --> 00:45:53,125 than we originally thought she would be. 1072 00:45:53,208 --> 00:45:54,625 I don't think we're going to get through it all. 1073 00:45:54,708 --> 00:45:56,167 At this point... 1074 00:45:56,208 --> 00:45:58,500 I don't know that I'm as hopeful as I was. 1075 00:45:58,542 --> 00:46:00,667 Kathy and Wendy, can I ask you one more question? 1076 00:46:00,750 --> 00:46:03,750 Why is this so important to you? 1077 00:46:03,875 --> 00:46:06,208 I feel like this stuff is just weighing you down. 1078 00:46:06,333 --> 00:46:10,875 -It's weighing us down! -It's holding you back from... 1079 00:46:10,958 --> 00:46:13,000 -Reaching my full potential? -Yes. 1080 00:46:13,083 --> 00:46:15,042 It's actually keeping all of us here from 1081 00:46:15,125 --> 00:46:17,917 reaching our full potential, in life. 1082 00:46:17,917 --> 00:46:19,542 This, this has to get cleaned out. 1083 00:46:19,625 --> 00:46:21,708 How? Can you tell them how? Tell them. 1084 00:46:21,792 --> 00:46:23,167 Because.... 1085 00:46:23,292 --> 00:46:25,542 Because this weighs on Wendy and I, 1086 00:46:25,625 --> 00:46:27,000 that we have to deal with it, that, 1087 00:46:27,083 --> 00:46:29,583 that it's something coming in the future, 1088 00:46:29,667 --> 00:46:32,000 this big kind of... 1089 00:46:32,083 --> 00:46:34,458 disaster that we're going to have to handle. 1090 00:46:34,542 --> 00:46:37,625 ♪ 1091 00:46:37,708 --> 00:46:39,333 Can you hear what she's trying to say? 1092 00:46:39,458 --> 00:46:40,667 Yeah, yeah. 1093 00:46:40,750 --> 00:46:43,333 Your daughters are worried about you. 1094 00:46:43,375 --> 00:46:47,083 And we love them for it. 1095 00:46:47,167 --> 00:46:49,500 -You need to go. -Okay, alright. 1096 00:46:49,583 --> 00:46:52,208 Go get your dinner. 1097 00:46:52,208 --> 00:46:55,000 If they can't get it together this time, like it's, I'm out. 1098 00:46:55,208 --> 00:46:58,167 It's too much. We all have our own lives. 1099 00:46:58,250 --> 00:47:00,917 We have our families. So, like, this is it. 1100 00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:02,958 I don't know that I can do it again. 1101 00:47:03,042 --> 00:47:05,458 ♪ 1102 00:47:10,208 --> 00:47:15,250 ♪ 1103 00:47:15,625 --> 00:47:17,833 No one should have to live in those conditions. 1104 00:47:17,917 --> 00:47:21,042 That bacon has been in your fridge for 20 years? 1105 00:47:21,125 --> 00:47:23,458 -I guess so. -It's not safe. 1106 00:47:23,542 --> 00:47:31,833 ♪ 1107 00:47:31,875 --> 00:47:33,792 The choices he makes are very poor. 1108 00:47:33,875 --> 00:47:36,000 59.99 is a good price for silk. 1109 00:47:36,042 --> 00:47:38,542 And I don't know who he respects enough 1110 00:47:38,667 --> 00:47:40,667 to listen to their counsel... 1111 00:47:40,750 --> 00:47:41,958 -Can I throw it out? -No 1112 00:47:42,042 --> 00:47:43,208 [Wendy] Because it's obviously not us. 1113 00:47:43,375 --> 00:47:44,833 -Why not? -Because I don't want to. 1114 00:47:44,875 --> 00:47:46,125 Well, let, let me try it on. 1115 00:47:46,208 --> 00:47:48,208 My mom is also a hoarder. 1116 00:47:48,292 --> 00:47:49,667 I'm not giving away my parka. 1117 00:47:49,750 --> 00:47:52,375 She can really dig her heels in as well. 1118 00:47:52,458 --> 00:47:55,875 ♪ 1119 00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:58,083 I'm not getting rid of a lot of stuff. 1120 00:47:58,208 --> 00:48:00,542 If they can't get it together this time, like I'm out. 1121 00:48:00,625 --> 00:48:01,833 I don't care what she thinks. 1122 00:48:01,875 --> 00:48:03,000 There is a real danger that 1123 00:48:03,125 --> 00:48:05,542 this family will lose their home. 1124 00:48:05,625 --> 00:48:15,583 ♪ 1125 00:48:20,583 --> 00:48:25,667 ♪ 1126 00:48:25,750 --> 00:48:26,875 Okay. David, what I'd like to do is 1127 00:48:26,958 --> 00:48:29,500 set up an efficient sorting station here. 1128 00:48:29,542 --> 00:48:31,583 You have four options: 1129 00:48:31,667 --> 00:48:34,708 Keep, donate, garbage, 1130 00:48:34,833 --> 00:48:37,417 collectibles in the white van. 1131 00:48:37,500 --> 00:48:39,167 -Is that clear? -Yes. 1132 00:48:39,250 --> 00:48:40,875 I really want you to push yourself, 1133 00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:42,542 because I don't want you to 1134 00:48:42,625 --> 00:48:44,458 end up in this situation again. 1135 00:48:44,542 --> 00:48:46,625 I want you to be able to enjoy your retirement, 1136 00:48:46,708 --> 00:48:48,375 your grandchildren, your family. 1137 00:48:48,375 --> 00:48:52,375 So really, this is a golden opportunity for you to really 1138 00:48:52,500 --> 00:48:56,042 dig a little deeper because this will all be for nothing 1139 00:48:56,125 --> 00:48:59,125 if something has not changed for you here. 1140 00:48:59,208 --> 00:49:00,417 ♪ 1141 00:49:00,500 --> 00:49:03,167 So, it's two against one, is that what we're saying? 1142 00:49:03,250 --> 00:49:04,708 No, we're all here for you, David. 1143 00:49:04,833 --> 00:49:07,292 Oh, oh... Oh, okay. 1144 00:49:07,375 --> 00:49:10,375 Will your mom- will your wife be here today at any point? 1145 00:49:10,500 --> 00:49:12,333 I think she was a bit tired from yesterday, 1146 00:49:12,417 --> 00:49:14,250 so she's going to, I think, take the morning off and 1147 00:49:14,375 --> 00:49:17,208 join us later in the day when she has a bit more energy. 1148 00:49:17,333 --> 00:49:19,042 Okay, we will focus on your stuff. 1149 00:49:19,125 --> 00:49:20,833 Does that sound like a good plan? 1150 00:49:20,875 --> 00:49:22,708 Sure. 1151 00:49:22,833 --> 00:49:32,792 ♪ 1152 00:49:37,792 --> 00:49:43,792 ♪ 1153 00:49:43,875 --> 00:49:47,167 Okay, so... Garbage, garbage. 1154 00:49:47,250 --> 00:49:50,292 Royal family, collectible 1155 00:49:50,375 --> 00:49:52,167 Okay, you don't need to look at every one 'cause 1156 00:49:52,250 --> 00:49:53,833 this is going to take six years. 1157 00:49:53,833 --> 00:49:56,500 What are we doing with DVDs? 1158 00:49:56,625 --> 00:49:57,875 Keeper. 1159 00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:00,000 So, you're going to keep all the CDs and DVDs? 1160 00:50:00,042 --> 00:50:03,958 -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -He says, "Keep". 1161 00:50:04,083 --> 00:50:06,000 He had to see what's in the whole box. 1162 00:50:06,083 --> 00:50:08,167 Ah! Yeah, there's earwigs, 1163 00:50:08,208 --> 00:50:10,083 there's earwigs in those, so... 1164 00:50:10,167 --> 00:50:11,167 I hate earwigs! 1165 00:50:11,250 --> 00:50:12,667 Christmas tree light show timer? 1166 00:50:12,750 --> 00:50:14,708 Oh, yeah. Keeper. 1167 00:50:14,792 --> 00:50:16,917 -Christmas is coming. -Keep. 1168 00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:18,958 My dad was very poor, and I think that's kind of 1169 00:50:19,042 --> 00:50:21,958 where the love of Christmas comes in, 1170 00:50:22,042 --> 00:50:23,792 because that was the only time of the year that 1171 00:50:23,875 --> 00:50:25,958 they probably got presents and... 1172 00:50:26,042 --> 00:50:27,750 they celebrated and... 1173 00:50:27,833 --> 00:50:29,625 he has happy memories of that. 1174 00:50:29,708 --> 00:50:32,042 And the fact that he can now buy gifts for other people, 1175 00:50:32,125 --> 00:50:34,708 and be generous when he wants to... 1176 00:50:34,792 --> 00:50:36,250 that's important to him. 1177 00:50:36,333 --> 00:50:38,167 Coasters, do you need...? 1178 00:50:38,333 --> 00:50:41,250 -Yeah, they're gifts. -Eight packs of coasters? 1179 00:50:41,333 --> 00:50:42,667 You're getting a coaster set for Christmas. 1180 00:50:42,708 --> 00:50:45,417 -I don't want them. -So, you're not getting one. 1181 00:50:45,542 --> 00:50:47,667 -Okay, perfect. -Keeper, all of them. 1182 00:50:47,750 --> 00:50:50,000 So, I think I need a third party here to help with 1183 00:50:50,083 --> 00:50:51,500 some of this decision making now. 1184 00:50:51,542 --> 00:50:53,500 No, no, no, no, no, no. 1185 00:50:53,583 --> 00:50:54,750 Keep. 1186 00:50:54,875 --> 00:50:56,667 [Natasha] Kathy wants an expert to decide 1187 00:50:56,750 --> 00:50:58,250 what goes and what stays. 1188 00:50:58,375 --> 00:51:00,625 The problem with this is that decision making 1189 00:51:00,708 --> 00:51:02,750 is an emotional process. 1190 00:51:02,833 --> 00:51:05,167 If he doesn't experience the discomfort that comes with 1191 00:51:05,250 --> 00:51:07,292 making tough decisions, he's never going to 1192 00:51:07,375 --> 00:51:08,917 get in touch with what he feels 1193 00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:10,708 in order to do this on his own. 1194 00:51:10,792 --> 00:51:12,625 You want to go in and get something to eat, Kath? 1195 00:51:12,708 --> 00:51:14,583 No, I want to go home. 1196 00:51:14,667 --> 00:51:17,417 ♪ 1197 00:51:17,500 --> 00:51:18,583 How's it going? 1198 00:51:18,667 --> 00:51:20,542 I think we're keeping too many things. 1199 00:51:20,625 --> 00:51:22,333 -Okay. -[Laughing] 1200 00:51:22,417 --> 00:51:25,292 -What, what are you keeping? -Everything. 1201 00:51:25,375 --> 00:51:28,500 Are you keeping things that are gifts or that you 1202 00:51:28,583 --> 00:51:30,500 bought as gifts, but you haven't given them away- 1203 00:51:30,542 --> 00:51:33,500 Haven't given them away yet, but will give them away. 1204 00:51:33,542 --> 00:51:36,333 I know you believe that, and you might even be right, 1205 00:51:36,417 --> 00:51:38,042 but you know that the donation pile goes to 1206 00:51:38,125 --> 00:51:39,667 places that gives stuff away... 1207 00:51:39,750 --> 00:51:41,292 to people who need it, right. 1208 00:51:41,375 --> 00:51:42,833 So, you're still giving it away. 1209 00:51:42,875 --> 00:51:47,667 You're still being that charitable, philanthropic guy. 1210 00:51:47,792 --> 00:51:51,875 -It feels nice to give, right? -To my family. 1211 00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:54,042 I don't really care, otherwise. 1212 00:51:54,125 --> 00:51:56,167 But what if your family doesn't want it? 1213 00:51:56,333 --> 00:51:57,500 Somebody will want it. 1214 00:51:57,583 --> 00:51:58,667 If you don't want it, Sheila will take it. 1215 00:51:58,708 --> 00:51:59,708 I don't think so. 1216 00:51:59,708 --> 00:52:01,958 I can speak for my sisters, knowing that- 1217 00:52:02,042 --> 00:52:03,000 what they would want, 1218 00:52:03,083 --> 00:52:04,333 but he just has to listen to me. 1219 00:52:04,375 --> 00:52:07,750 Okay... You can listen again- 1220 00:52:07,833 --> 00:52:09,833 No, I'm not listening. We're done listening today. 1221 00:52:09,917 --> 00:52:11,542 -Okay, okay. -Garbage. 1222 00:52:11,625 --> 00:52:13,333 What's this? Do you know what this is? 1223 00:52:13,375 --> 00:52:15,625 So, I'm done if we're not listening anymore. 1224 00:52:15,708 --> 00:52:21,250 ♪ [Suspenseful] 1225 00:52:25,500 --> 00:52:29,667 ♪ 1226 00:52:29,708 --> 00:52:31,375 I just want you to listen, 'cause we're not- 1227 00:52:31,542 --> 00:52:32,417 it's getting frustrating. 1228 00:52:32,542 --> 00:52:33,833 I'll listen, your turn to talk. 1229 00:52:33,917 --> 00:52:35,250 -Your turn to talk. -Yes, it is. 1230 00:52:35,542 --> 00:52:37,750 We're having a conversation about gifts this morning. 1231 00:52:37,833 --> 00:52:42,000 My sense is that David is using this gift-giving reason 1232 00:52:42,042 --> 00:52:44,458 as an excuse to hold on to his stuff. 1233 00:52:44,542 --> 00:52:48,667 If we can't get him to untie himself from this idea, 1234 00:52:48,750 --> 00:52:50,792 he's going to re-hoard the house again, 1235 00:52:50,875 --> 00:52:52,500 or keep what he already has. 1236 00:52:52,542 --> 00:52:56,250 So, I'm done if we're not listening anymore. 1237 00:52:56,375 --> 00:52:58,500 Okay. Where, where's Wendy? 1238 00:52:58,625 --> 00:53:00,750 She won't be coming if you're not going to listen. 1239 00:53:00,875 --> 00:53:02,000 I'm listening. 1240 00:53:02,042 --> 00:53:03,000 Okay, then we're not gonna joke about it. 1241 00:53:03,083 --> 00:53:04,375 To you, to you. 1242 00:53:04,542 --> 00:53:06,125 It's not a joke, and if you're not going to listen, 1243 00:53:06,208 --> 00:53:07,542 then we're done, like you can't- 1244 00:53:07,667 --> 00:53:10,833 That mat of keep is going to fill up very quickly. 1245 00:53:10,917 --> 00:53:12,292 There are many, many, many, many, 1246 00:53:12,375 --> 00:53:14,292 many more boxes coming. 1247 00:53:14,375 --> 00:53:19,000 So, once that mat's full, what are you going to do? 1248 00:53:19,083 --> 00:53:20,500 Get another mat? 1249 00:53:20,542 --> 00:53:22,417 No, no, that's not the right answer. 1250 00:53:22,500 --> 00:53:25,875 Oh, okay. It's not that many items. 1251 00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:28,000 But they add up, Dad. 1252 00:53:28,083 --> 00:53:30,500 When you say there's not that much stuff, 1253 00:53:30,583 --> 00:53:35,292 that's the mindset that has led you to rationalize this. 1254 00:53:35,375 --> 00:53:37,375 It feels good to give stuff away, right? 1255 00:53:37,375 --> 00:53:39,083 It really feels good. 1256 00:53:39,167 --> 00:53:41,583 You know what else feels good? 1257 00:53:41,667 --> 00:53:43,667 Hugging your grandchildren in your home. 1258 00:53:43,708 --> 00:53:47,500 ♪ 1259 00:53:47,583 --> 00:53:48,833 Okay, I'll try. 1260 00:53:48,875 --> 00:53:50,875 Okay. 1261 00:53:50,958 --> 00:53:56,042 ♪ 1262 00:53:56,167 --> 00:53:58,167 Are you leaving, Kath? 1263 00:53:58,250 --> 00:54:01,000 -I'm exhausted already. -Kath? 1264 00:54:01,125 --> 00:54:06,792 ♪ 1265 00:54:06,875 --> 00:54:08,250 Is there anything in there that's worthwhile 1266 00:54:08,333 --> 00:54:09,667 that you want to save? 1267 00:54:09,750 --> 00:54:11,500 Like, I see you saving The Beatles one? 1268 00:54:11,542 --> 00:54:13,583 Sheila's working full-time, 1269 00:54:13,583 --> 00:54:17,083 and she doesn't have the time to take off work. 1270 00:54:17,167 --> 00:54:18,333 She came when she could. 1271 00:54:18,417 --> 00:54:20,125 And it's more emotional for her, too, 1272 00:54:20,208 --> 00:54:22,333 because she's quite close to David. 1273 00:54:22,417 --> 00:54:25,458 -Get rid of. -Too cerebral. 1274 00:54:25,542 --> 00:54:27,292 Hello! 1275 00:54:27,375 --> 00:54:30,042 I don't think she could ever confront him like 1276 00:54:30,167 --> 00:54:32,042 Kathy and Wendy have done, and told him, 1277 00:54:32,167 --> 00:54:34,708 you know, you have to, you know, 1278 00:54:34,792 --> 00:54:37,333 bite the bullet and start somewhere... 1279 00:54:37,417 --> 00:54:39,750 'cause he'd be just quite happy to do nothing. 1280 00:54:39,833 --> 00:54:41,667 Highly effective people. Ow, ow, ow! 1281 00:54:41,792 --> 00:54:43,167 -Sorry. -"Highly defective people". 1282 00:54:43,250 --> 00:54:44,583 -Oh, okay. -Defective. 1283 00:54:44,708 --> 00:54:46,625 Maybe we should keep this one. 1284 00:54:46,708 --> 00:54:47,750 Okay. 1285 00:54:47,875 --> 00:54:50,292 In our family, we don't really communicate 1286 00:54:50,375 --> 00:54:53,333 that well with emotional things. 1287 00:54:53,375 --> 00:54:55,167 What do you care about Pope John Paul? 1288 00:54:55,250 --> 00:54:57,375 But, we know he does appreciate us. 1289 00:54:57,458 --> 00:55:00,083 It's just, that's the way he is. 1290 00:55:00,167 --> 00:55:02,542 -Can we donate this? -Sure. 1291 00:55:02,667 --> 00:55:04,667 I would have to say that my dad definitely showed 1292 00:55:04,750 --> 00:55:05,875 a lot of progress. 1293 00:55:05,958 --> 00:55:07,458 What did I do with the purse that was down here? 1294 00:55:07,542 --> 00:55:09,333 Can we focus on the task at hand, please? 1295 00:55:09,417 --> 00:55:12,000 I've got to look through this box here. 1296 00:55:12,083 --> 00:55:15,667 My mom, on the other hand, she just can't really focus 1297 00:55:15,750 --> 00:55:18,292 on certain things, and she'll get sidetracked. 1298 00:55:18,375 --> 00:55:19,625 Those are all bags and 1299 00:55:19,708 --> 00:55:21,625 I wondered if anybody wants them. 1300 00:55:21,708 --> 00:55:23,583 I know what they are. Are you keeping it or not? 1301 00:55:23,667 --> 00:55:25,167 You don't need to open them all. 1302 00:55:25,208 --> 00:55:26,583 They're all the same. 1303 00:55:26,667 --> 00:55:29,167 ♪ 1304 00:55:29,208 --> 00:55:30,542 Well, they don't take up much room, 1305 00:55:30,625 --> 00:55:33,042 I'll just put it back in a room upstairs. 1306 00:55:33,167 --> 00:55:34,625 I don't have to get rid of everything 1307 00:55:34,708 --> 00:55:36,292 just because they're here. There's grey, there's pink... 1308 00:55:36,375 --> 00:55:37,792 -You're live in one room. -Yes. 1309 00:55:37,875 --> 00:55:39,833 -One bedroom -I'm not bringing them with me. 1310 00:55:39,917 --> 00:55:42,333 You're putting those with things that I want to keep. 1311 00:55:42,375 --> 00:55:43,708 This is keep! 1312 00:55:43,792 --> 00:55:48,333 Those are uncertain. This is keep. 1313 00:55:48,417 --> 00:55:50,917 -Hello... -Hi! 1314 00:55:51,042 --> 00:55:52,292 -How are you? -Okay. 1315 00:55:52,375 --> 00:55:53,875 Good, good. 1316 00:55:53,958 --> 00:55:55,417 I see, I came over 'cause I 1317 00:55:55,500 --> 00:55:57,833 saw a lot of purses coming out. 1318 00:55:57,917 --> 00:56:01,750 50% of it is my house. Do you understand that? 1319 00:56:01,833 --> 00:56:03,042 That's what's going through my mind. 1320 00:56:03,125 --> 00:56:04,333 I know. 1321 00:56:04,417 --> 00:56:06,208 So, things that I think I might like, 1322 00:56:06,292 --> 00:56:08,042 I don't have the money to buy anything now. 1323 00:56:08,125 --> 00:56:11,125 Most of these purses are worth 300 bucks each, okay? 1324 00:56:11,208 --> 00:56:14,708 That's where I'm coming from. And I'm getting a bit upset, 1325 00:56:14,792 --> 00:56:16,875 so don't question me on this. 1326 00:56:16,958 --> 00:56:18,458 It's always been her way. 1327 00:56:18,542 --> 00:56:20,333 If she, if it's something she doesn't want to hear, 1328 00:56:20,417 --> 00:56:23,458 she just tunes it out. She'll just want to move on. 1329 00:56:23,542 --> 00:56:24,625 What does it mean to you, 1330 00:56:24,708 --> 00:56:27,333 when you say the house is 50% yours? 1331 00:56:27,417 --> 00:56:29,833 Like, what's, what's important about that for you? 1332 00:56:29,875 --> 00:56:31,917 I'm too upset to talk about that right now, 1333 00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:34,292 so don't ask me any more questions. 1334 00:56:34,375 --> 00:56:35,667 I'm just going to go through these, 1335 00:56:35,750 --> 00:56:37,750 get it over with, and that's it. 1336 00:56:37,833 --> 00:56:39,167 She's trying to help you, Mom. 1337 00:56:39,250 --> 00:56:41,208 I know she's trying to help me, but I... 1338 00:56:41,208 --> 00:56:43,250 She's trying to help you work through 1339 00:56:43,375 --> 00:56:46,875 the quantity of what you want to keep. 1340 00:56:46,875 --> 00:56:48,792 She didn't work. For most of her life, 1341 00:56:48,875 --> 00:56:50,667 she collected a disability check, 1342 00:56:50,792 --> 00:56:53,083 and my dad's always felt like he owned the money 1343 00:56:53,208 --> 00:56:55,333 because he, he made the money. 1344 00:56:55,458 --> 00:56:57,667 So, it's his money. 1345 00:56:57,792 --> 00:56:59,833 But that's not the way it is. 1346 00:56:59,917 --> 00:57:02,250 So, she wants to be clear that it's not just 1347 00:57:02,375 --> 00:57:04,208 his money, it's their money. 1348 00:57:04,292 --> 00:57:06,833 And that's where it's stemming from. 1349 00:57:06,958 --> 00:57:09,667 Is, is that true, what Wendy said? 1350 00:57:09,708 --> 00:57:13,625 -That, that's a good summary. -Okay. 1351 00:57:13,708 --> 00:57:16,125 What's heartbreaking about what Elizabeth is saying, 1352 00:57:16,208 --> 00:57:19,708 is that there are so many women of her generation 1353 00:57:19,792 --> 00:57:22,833 who are in the same boat, the ones who stayed home, 1354 00:57:22,875 --> 00:57:25,000 they raised the kids, they kept the house, 1355 00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:27,958 they did the cleaning, and were never appreciated for 1356 00:57:27,958 --> 00:57:31,000 the contributions they made to the family and the home. 1357 00:57:31,125 --> 00:57:33,167 This is not about the purses for Elizabeth, 1358 00:57:33,292 --> 00:57:35,542 it's what the purses represent. 1359 00:57:35,667 --> 00:57:45,625 ♪ 1360 00:57:50,375 --> 00:57:51,833 ♪ 1361 00:57:51,917 --> 00:57:53,583 Okay, I'm going back to the residence. 1362 00:57:53,667 --> 00:57:56,042 -Okay. -Why do you want to go? 1363 00:57:56,167 --> 00:57:57,708 I feel like I just got here. 1364 00:57:57,792 --> 00:57:59,417 My back is sore and I'm tired. 1365 00:57:59,500 --> 00:58:02,333 But you're, you can sit down. 1366 00:58:02,375 --> 00:58:05,750 I feel like we didn't get rid of 1367 00:58:05,833 --> 00:58:07,875 as much stuff today as we could have. 1368 00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:09,833 When you came out of the hospital, 1369 00:58:09,917 --> 00:58:12,000 and you've said like, "Oh, I don't care about 1370 00:58:12,042 --> 00:58:14,000 this stuff anymore, I just want it gone. 1371 00:58:14,083 --> 00:58:15,000 I don't care." 1372 00:58:15,125 --> 00:58:16,000 Yes, I know. 1373 00:58:16,042 --> 00:58:18,750 But now you're seeing it and like... 1374 00:58:18,833 --> 00:58:21,000 you're keeping a lot of stuff. 1375 00:58:23,917 --> 00:58:26,417 Well, I don't know what to tell you. 1376 00:58:26,542 --> 00:58:28,667 I can't think. I was in tears when I got back, 1377 00:58:28,708 --> 00:58:31,167 I was so exhausted yesterday. 1378 00:58:31,250 --> 00:58:33,042 And I almost missed dinner, 1379 00:58:33,125 --> 00:58:34,750 and now it's 6 o'clock and it's my dinner time, 1380 00:58:34,875 --> 00:58:36,500 and I don't want to sit here for dinner. 1381 00:58:36,583 --> 00:58:38,875 -This is a limited time, okay? -I know, I know. 1382 00:58:38,958 --> 00:58:41,167 We have one and a half days left after today. 1383 00:58:41,208 --> 00:58:45,542 -Okay. -So all this... 1384 00:58:45,625 --> 00:58:49,458 one and a half days, and we haven't touched on 1385 00:58:49,542 --> 00:58:52,625 your clothes and a lot of your bedroom. 1386 00:58:52,708 --> 00:58:55,250 So, like, we need to make some decisions. 1387 00:58:55,333 --> 00:58:57,000 And having you say, "I want this, 1388 00:58:57,042 --> 00:59:00,875 this is important to me," it's frustrating. 1389 00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:03,417 I feel like sometimes their possessions 1390 00:59:03,500 --> 00:59:08,458 mean more than our opinions. 1391 00:59:08,542 --> 00:59:09,875 We just want what's best for them, 1392 00:59:09,958 --> 00:59:11,750 and we're trying to tell them that. 1393 00:59:11,833 --> 00:59:13,375 You have to make the decision... 1394 00:59:13,458 --> 00:59:14,417 I'm not going to make any decisions. 1395 00:59:14,500 --> 00:59:15,708 ...that you don't want these things... 1396 00:59:15,792 --> 00:59:17,292 because if you don't make the decision- 1397 00:59:17,375 --> 00:59:19,667 I want to go home and eat. I'm leaving. 1398 00:59:19,792 --> 00:59:20,792 I don't think you're leaving. 1399 00:59:20,875 --> 00:59:22,792 There's nobody here to drive you. 1400 00:59:22,875 --> 00:59:26,375 ♪ 1401 00:59:26,458 --> 00:59:28,542 You can't leave every single time we start 1402 00:59:28,625 --> 00:59:31,125 having an important conversation. 1403 00:59:31,208 --> 00:59:33,292 That doesn't get anywhere. 1404 00:59:33,375 --> 00:59:35,625 That just prolongs the process. 1405 00:59:35,708 --> 00:59:39,833 That stops it, that stops progress. 1406 00:59:39,958 --> 00:59:41,500 I don't care that you're annoyed. 1407 00:59:41,583 --> 00:59:43,167 -I'm annoyed. -I know... 1408 00:59:43,250 --> 00:59:47,583 I'm here cleaning your 45 years of garbage. 1409 00:59:47,667 --> 00:59:49,750 -[Laughing] Yes, I know. -You think that's funny? 1410 00:59:49,833 --> 00:59:51,083 -No, it's not funny. -I don't think it's funny. 1411 00:59:51,167 --> 00:59:53,375 It's sick, it's sick, it's really sick. 1412 00:59:53,458 --> 00:59:55,333 -It's disgusting! -Yeah. 1413 00:59:55,375 --> 00:59:59,417 ♪ 1414 00:59:59,500 --> 01:00:02,000 Well, I'm, I'm just not up to this now. 1415 01:00:02,083 --> 01:00:05,125 Okay. Go home, have something to eat. 1416 01:00:05,208 --> 01:00:06,292 Have a good night's sleep. 1417 01:00:06,375 --> 01:00:08,333 And we'll see you at 9 o'clock tomorrow morning. 1418 01:00:08,375 --> 01:00:09,875 Okay. 1419 01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:12,417 I feel like I didn't get anywhere. 1420 01:00:12,500 --> 01:00:14,250 I feel like I'm wasting my breath. 1421 01:00:14,333 --> 01:00:17,542 9.30, would that be alright? 1422 01:00:17,625 --> 01:00:18,958 I'll see you in the morning. 1423 01:00:19,042 --> 01:00:21,958 Okay... 1424 01:00:22,042 --> 01:00:23,167 Okay. 1425 01:00:23,208 --> 01:00:25,625 When she gets like that... 1426 01:00:25,708 --> 01:00:27,292 it's like a child, you just have to wait until 1427 01:00:27,375 --> 01:00:28,708 the mood has passed. 1428 01:00:28,792 --> 01:00:30,667 -Okay, thank you. -See you tomorrow. 1429 01:00:30,708 --> 01:00:33,000 -Okay, bye. -Thanks for coming today. 1430 01:00:33,167 --> 01:00:34,708 Thank you, bye. 1431 01:00:34,792 --> 01:00:36,167 They really enable each other. 1432 01:00:36,208 --> 01:00:38,083 Instead of pushing each other to do better, 1433 01:00:38,167 --> 01:00:41,667 it's kind of like, "Let's just give up. 1434 01:00:41,708 --> 01:00:44,833 There's too much stuff. We can't do anything about it." 1435 01:00:44,917 --> 01:00:47,375 So, it doesn't give me hope that... 1436 01:00:47,458 --> 01:00:50,000 we're going to see much change. 1437 01:00:50,083 --> 01:00:53,625 It's definitely frustrating to see them both check out. 1438 01:00:53,708 --> 01:00:55,750 Like, I want to check out, I don't want to be here. 1439 01:00:55,833 --> 01:00:57,167 I don't want to be going through their stuff and 1440 01:00:57,208 --> 01:00:59,000 having to ask them for every single item, 1441 01:00:59,125 --> 01:01:00,833 "Do you want this? Do you want this? 1442 01:01:00,917 --> 01:01:02,708 Why is this important to you?" 1443 01:01:02,792 --> 01:01:06,167 Like, grow up, you know? 1444 01:01:06,208 --> 01:01:08,333 Be the adult here. 1445 01:01:08,375 --> 01:01:10,333 For once, be the adult. 1446 01:01:10,375 --> 01:01:12,167 ♪ 1447 01:01:16,375 --> 01:01:26,333 ♪ 1448 01:01:28,250 --> 01:01:30,125 ♪ 1449 01:01:30,125 --> 01:01:34,958 ♪ 1450 01:01:34,958 --> 01:01:37,208 We've got a whole lawn of decisions, 1451 01:01:37,292 --> 01:01:39,417 and a whole bunch of stuff more to bring out. 1452 01:01:39,500 --> 01:01:44,458 We need to hustle, all of us. 1453 01:01:44,542 --> 01:01:48,208 We'd like for you to give your daughters permission... 1454 01:01:48,333 --> 01:01:52,292 to take control of everything that's on the lawn, 1455 01:01:52,375 --> 01:01:55,542 so that the two of you can go upstairs into your bedroom 1456 01:01:55,625 --> 01:01:57,500 where your most personal belongings are 1457 01:01:57,500 --> 01:01:59,083 and focus there. 1458 01:01:59,167 --> 01:02:01,875 I think if we don't do it this way, 1459 01:02:02,000 --> 01:02:05,000 we are not going to get this job done. 1460 01:02:05,042 --> 01:02:08,250 And you are going to lose this home, David. 1461 01:02:08,333 --> 01:02:13,667 ♪ 1462 01:02:13,750 --> 01:02:15,667 -Can you see that? -I can see it. 1463 01:02:15,750 --> 01:02:17,000 Yeah. 1464 01:02:17,167 --> 01:02:20,708 So, can you give permission to make full decisions 1465 01:02:20,792 --> 01:02:22,875 about everything that's on the lawn? 1466 01:02:22,875 --> 01:02:25,000 Yeah, that's a good idea. 1467 01:02:25,042 --> 01:02:28,083 [Laughing] That's a yes, yes or no? 1468 01:02:28,167 --> 01:02:31,125 -Mm-hm. -Um... 1469 01:02:31,208 --> 01:02:33,875 Yes. 1470 01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:36,875 I'm not sure if he's being honest and sincere. 1471 01:02:36,958 --> 01:02:39,375 But if it gets him upstairs, it's good enough for now. 1472 01:02:39,500 --> 01:02:49,458 ♪ 1473 01:02:49,917 --> 01:02:51,875 -Yucky! -Yes, yucky. 1474 01:02:51,958 --> 01:02:53,375 Mice were in here, too. They're everywhere. 1475 01:02:53,458 --> 01:03:03,417 ♪ 1476 01:03:03,708 --> 01:03:05,333 This is garbage. These are garbage. 1477 01:03:05,375 --> 01:03:08,250 Garbage. I don't even want to look in it. 1478 01:03:08,375 --> 01:03:11,417 Let's keep this and, maybe one day he'll use it. 1479 01:03:11,500 --> 01:03:13,333 ♪ 1480 01:03:13,417 --> 01:03:15,208 Garbage. 1481 01:03:15,333 --> 01:03:17,292 I'm happy they delegated it because... 1482 01:03:17,375 --> 01:03:20,500 they would have inspected every single thing when it 1483 01:03:20,542 --> 01:03:24,542 was obviously disgusting and needed to be thrown away. 1484 01:03:24,625 --> 01:03:26,292 Let's get rid of it. 1485 01:03:26,375 --> 01:03:32,000 ♪ 1486 01:03:32,083 --> 01:03:34,542 Ah, yeah, I'm keeping those. 1487 01:03:34,667 --> 01:03:36,708 Oh, my gosh. 1488 01:03:36,792 --> 01:03:39,083 Elizabeth is walking down memory lane. 1489 01:03:39,167 --> 01:03:41,750 She's getting bogged down in photos, 1490 01:03:41,833 --> 01:03:43,708 and it's understandable, but it's really 1491 01:03:43,833 --> 01:03:46,000 slowing her down because she's reminiscing 1492 01:03:46,083 --> 01:03:48,500 about every single one of them. 1493 01:03:48,583 --> 01:03:49,792 What's that, David? Garbage? 1494 01:03:49,875 --> 01:03:52,750 -Yep, Kleenex boxes. -Kleenex boxes. 1495 01:03:52,833 --> 01:03:54,583 Alright, 1, 2... 1496 01:03:54,583 --> 01:03:56,333 3, 4... 1497 01:03:56,375 --> 01:03:58,167 5, 6, 7, 8. 1498 01:03:58,250 --> 01:04:01,125 7 packs of unopened place mats. 1499 01:04:01,208 --> 01:04:02,750 They don't take much room, I'll keep them. 1500 01:04:02,833 --> 01:04:04,125 They do take up room. 1501 01:04:04,208 --> 01:04:06,083 Ah, you're keeping the wreath, right? Christmas? 1502 01:04:06,167 --> 01:04:08,417 ♪ 1503 01:04:08,500 --> 01:04:10,292 Yeah, he'll want that. 1504 01:04:10,375 --> 01:04:12,667 Yeah, and this is, what is that, perfume? 1505 01:04:12,708 --> 01:04:14,792 Yeah, that's garbage. Garbage. 1506 01:04:14,875 --> 01:04:16,458 Ew, earwig. 1507 01:04:16,542 --> 01:04:18,333 That's garbage. Bye! 1508 01:04:18,417 --> 01:04:20,000 So, we're getting through stuff, eh? 1509 01:04:20,083 --> 01:04:22,375 Look at that, wow! 1510 01:04:22,458 --> 01:04:25,000 Yeah, we're getting done. We're getting done. 1511 01:04:25,083 --> 01:04:26,875 -That's right! -Wow! 1512 01:04:26,958 --> 01:04:28,792 So, how are you feeling? 1513 01:04:28,875 --> 01:04:30,417 Ah... tired. 1514 01:04:30,500 --> 01:04:33,542 Yeah? You did amazing, 1515 01:04:33,625 --> 01:04:36,833 you did good work up there today. 1516 01:04:36,875 --> 01:04:39,875 Well, when people use the word "die"... 1517 01:04:39,958 --> 01:04:43,583 you have to decide which way you're going to go. 1518 01:04:43,708 --> 01:04:44,708 The doctor said they'd just come in and 1519 01:04:44,833 --> 01:04:46,167 throw everything out... 1520 01:04:46,250 --> 01:04:48,333 and clean the house, and then you... 1521 01:04:48,333 --> 01:04:49,708 they may sell the house, too. 1522 01:04:49,792 --> 01:04:51,833 [Effy] Yes, that's absolutely right. 1523 01:04:51,875 --> 01:04:53,125 [David] So, yeah. 1524 01:04:53,208 --> 01:04:55,125 So, I didn't want to do that. 1525 01:04:55,208 --> 01:05:01,917 ♪ 1526 01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:04,083 You can tell that a lot more progress is being made 1527 01:05:04,208 --> 01:05:06,667 in his room. There's floor space. 1528 01:05:06,708 --> 01:05:09,125 ♪ 1529 01:05:09,208 --> 01:05:12,875 You can't see the progress in my mom's room yet. 1530 01:05:12,958 --> 01:05:15,125 I've never lived with regrets. 1531 01:05:15,208 --> 01:05:18,500 I got the life that I always wanted, and... 1532 01:05:18,542 --> 01:05:21,875 I've had a lot of very special times with my girls... 1533 01:05:21,958 --> 01:05:25,750 when I reflect upon it. 1534 01:05:25,875 --> 01:05:27,542 It brings back happy memories. 1535 01:05:27,667 --> 01:05:29,083 Do you want to keep these cards? 1536 01:05:29,167 --> 01:05:30,667 Yes. 1537 01:05:30,792 --> 01:05:32,708 It's like she wants to squeeze out 1538 01:05:32,792 --> 01:05:34,750 the last memory from it... 1539 01:05:34,875 --> 01:05:37,208 before she lets it go. 1540 01:05:37,292 --> 01:05:40,208 And she needs the items, so she doesn't lose the memory. 1541 01:05:40,292 --> 01:05:44,750 For her to recognize that, herself, is the challenge. 1542 01:05:44,833 --> 01:05:46,292 We're making progress. 1543 01:05:46,375 --> 01:05:48,667 We're getting there, but we need to keep... 1544 01:05:48,750 --> 01:05:50,875 not looking at every single magazine. 1545 01:05:50,875 --> 01:05:52,167 Garbage. 1546 01:05:52,208 --> 01:05:53,667 After she had had her heart surgery, she was like, 1547 01:05:53,708 --> 01:05:55,542 "Oh, I don't need this, didn't even know I had this. 1548 01:05:55,667 --> 01:05:57,250 I didn't even remember this." 1549 01:05:57,333 --> 01:06:02,917 So, for her to now attach importance to those things, 1550 01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:05,083 it just feels like it's false importance. 1551 01:06:05,167 --> 01:06:06,542 Here's Grandma's recipe. 1552 01:06:06,667 --> 01:06:08,833 Fudgesicles and cherry squares. 1553 01:06:08,917 --> 01:06:11,333 In Mummy's writing. Do you want it? 1554 01:06:11,417 --> 01:06:13,417 I don't want to say none of her things are important. 1555 01:06:13,500 --> 01:06:16,458 There are some special items, but it's defining 1556 01:06:16,542 --> 01:06:19,333 what the special items are, versus everything else, 1557 01:06:19,417 --> 01:06:21,708 'cause right now to her, everything is special. 1558 01:06:21,792 --> 01:06:27,042 ♪ 1559 01:06:27,042 --> 01:06:29,083 -How's it going in here? -Good. 1560 01:06:29,167 --> 01:06:32,000 I think what's happening is, you're getting a little bit 1561 01:06:32,042 --> 01:06:35,375 distracted by remembering stuff, which is natural. 1562 01:06:35,458 --> 01:06:37,792 We all do that when we discover treasures. 1563 01:06:37,917 --> 01:06:40,333 But remember, it's going to slow things down. 1564 01:06:40,417 --> 01:06:43,208 Yes, just leave me, please. You're starting to upset me. 1565 01:06:43,292 --> 01:06:45,083 -Okay, okay. -So, leave me. 1566 01:06:49,292 --> 01:06:51,708 ♪ 1567 01:06:51,792 --> 01:06:55,083 It's our last full day and, when I try to give Elizabeth 1568 01:06:55,167 --> 01:06:57,208 some tips on how she can sort through some of these 1569 01:06:57,292 --> 01:07:00,167 things faster, she gets defensive pretty quickly. 1570 01:07:00,292 --> 01:07:02,208 I don't know what to say or how to answer you. 1571 01:07:02,208 --> 01:07:03,958 And I'm not interested in talking to you 1572 01:07:04,042 --> 01:07:05,333 because you upset me. 1573 01:07:05,417 --> 01:07:07,333 Okay. 1574 01:07:07,375 --> 01:07:12,000 ♪ 1575 01:07:12,083 --> 01:07:14,792 I got stressed at one point, but she came back later. 1576 01:07:14,792 --> 01:07:17,208 Elizabeth, can I just talk to you for a second? 1577 01:07:17,292 --> 01:07:18,500 Sure. 1578 01:07:18,625 --> 01:07:21,792 And we talked and, I think we got things settled. 1579 01:07:21,875 --> 01:07:23,125 I mean, I remember what it was like 1580 01:07:23,208 --> 01:07:24,500 when the kids were little. 1581 01:07:24,583 --> 01:07:26,500 What was it like? Yeah, tell me about that. 1582 01:07:26,583 --> 01:07:29,167 It was very busy from morning till night. 1583 01:07:29,250 --> 01:07:32,000 The way to connect with Elizabeth is to talk with her. 1584 01:07:32,083 --> 01:07:34,417 And when I walk down memory lane with her, 1585 01:07:34,500 --> 01:07:37,250 she's a lot more open to suggestions. 1586 01:07:37,375 --> 01:07:38,500 Do you want me to put all of those in that 1587 01:07:38,583 --> 01:07:39,542 into that folder? 1588 01:07:39,625 --> 01:07:40,917 Yes, 'cause I don't need to look at them now. 1589 01:07:41,042 --> 01:07:42,625 And I'm not going to keep them all. 1590 01:07:42,708 --> 01:07:49,792 ♪ 1591 01:07:49,875 --> 01:07:50,833 That's David. 1592 01:07:50,917 --> 01:07:52,167 -Hi, David. -Hi. 1593 01:07:52,292 --> 01:07:53,917 -How are you? -Good. 1594 01:07:54,000 --> 01:07:55,625 My name is Diana Fuller. 1595 01:07:55,708 --> 01:07:58,333 I am a certified personal property appraiser. 1596 01:07:58,375 --> 01:08:00,542 -Nice to meet you. -Yes. 1597 01:08:00,625 --> 01:08:04,292 I am here as an appraiser, to look at some items 1598 01:08:04,375 --> 01:08:05,833 that you have that might be of value? 1599 01:08:05,875 --> 01:08:07,833 Okay... 1600 01:08:07,958 --> 01:08:14,083 ♪ 1601 01:08:14,167 --> 01:08:15,667 I'm not really looking to sell a lot. 1602 01:08:15,750 --> 01:08:17,875 Well, she's just gonna talk to you about the value. 1603 01:08:18,000 --> 01:08:19,333 Okay, ah... 1604 01:08:19,458 --> 01:08:20,667 So, do you want to give me a tour and 1605 01:08:20,792 --> 01:08:22,000 we can sort of walk around? 1606 01:08:22,083 --> 01:08:24,125 -Would that be all right? -Okay. 1607 01:08:24,208 --> 01:08:28,333 I could see that David was pretty stressed. 1608 01:08:28,417 --> 01:08:30,458 A lot of times when I'm walking into a home 1609 01:08:30,542 --> 01:08:33,333 like this, someone has already passed away. 1610 01:08:33,417 --> 01:08:35,833 They have fallen, they can't get up. 1611 01:08:35,833 --> 01:08:38,333 They can't get to the phone or find the phone... 1612 01:08:38,417 --> 01:08:42,833 And, they end up dying and their children find them. 1613 01:08:42,875 --> 01:08:45,750 And David and I did discuss that. 1614 01:08:45,833 --> 01:08:49,542 So, for me, it was wonderful to be able to come here and 1615 01:08:49,542 --> 01:08:51,458 meet David today, because often 1616 01:08:51,542 --> 01:08:53,083 I don't have that opportunity. 1617 01:08:53,208 --> 01:08:54,417 So, let's take a look. 1618 01:08:54,542 --> 01:08:55,500 What about these figurines here that you've got? 1619 01:08:55,583 --> 01:08:56,792 Oh, yeah. 1620 01:08:56,875 --> 01:08:58,375 Her arm is, is broken, 1621 01:08:58,375 --> 01:09:03,000 so there's really no value to this, at all. 1622 01:09:03,042 --> 01:09:05,125 I don't even remember getting those. 1623 01:09:05,208 --> 01:09:06,958 So, there's really no connection for you 1624 01:09:07,042 --> 01:09:08,042 with something like that? 1625 01:09:08,167 --> 01:09:09,458 Yeah, some of them. 1626 01:09:09,542 --> 01:09:10,833 So, that might be something that you might be 1627 01:09:10,958 --> 01:09:13,000 willing to dispose of? 1628 01:09:13,042 --> 01:09:17,042 There are some collectibles that are of higher value. 1629 01:09:17,167 --> 01:09:18,250 So, your floor lamp, 1630 01:09:18,333 --> 01:09:20,042 you'd probably get about $250. 1631 01:09:20,125 --> 01:09:21,333 For your small lamp, 1632 01:09:21,375 --> 01:09:23,500 you'd probably get about 125. 1633 01:09:23,542 --> 01:09:25,875 So, Dad, are you going to part with any of these things? 1634 01:09:25,958 --> 01:09:29,583 Like, have you decided to let any of these things go? 1635 01:09:29,708 --> 01:09:30,750 Probably not. 1636 01:09:30,917 --> 01:09:34,333 So, because- like, it's just a kind of waste of time 1637 01:09:34,375 --> 01:09:37,667 right now, because if everything is being held on to, 1638 01:09:37,750 --> 01:09:40,125 and you're not interested in letting go of anything, 1639 01:09:40,208 --> 01:09:41,750 why are we doing this? 1640 01:09:41,875 --> 01:09:43,292 I don't know. 1641 01:09:43,375 --> 01:09:48,167 Is there anything in here that you could part with? 1642 01:09:48,167 --> 01:09:51,250 Probably not. 1643 01:09:51,333 --> 01:09:52,917 David, let's go back to the morning. 1644 01:09:53,000 --> 01:09:57,125 What was the biggest factor that we're doing this for? 1645 01:09:57,208 --> 01:09:59,125 So I can live a good life. 1646 01:09:59,208 --> 01:10:00,833 Not just a good life. 1647 01:10:00,875 --> 01:10:03,542 -A live life? -Yes! 1648 01:10:03,625 --> 01:10:06,500 Like, these things are all going to collect dust. 1649 01:10:06,542 --> 01:10:09,167 Your lamps and all the things that are here, 1650 01:10:09,250 --> 01:10:12,167 they're still part of the clutter, right? 1651 01:10:12,208 --> 01:10:14,292 You don't want the mouse feces. 1652 01:10:14,375 --> 01:10:16,375 You don't want the pests and the rodents. 1653 01:10:16,500 --> 01:10:17,917 You need to circle back to what you said 1654 01:10:18,000 --> 01:10:18,917 was important to you. 1655 01:10:19,042 --> 01:10:20,042 He's still joking about stuff. 1656 01:10:20,167 --> 01:10:22,583 Yes. You're still making this a joke. 1657 01:10:22,667 --> 01:10:26,500 -Is your life a joke to you? -Yeah, one big joke. 1658 01:10:26,542 --> 01:10:30,417 ♪ 1659 01:10:30,500 --> 01:10:32,375 Come on, now you're shutting down. 1660 01:10:32,458 --> 01:10:34,458 Yeah. 1661 01:10:34,542 --> 01:10:36,750 I think we're done on this one. 1662 01:10:36,833 --> 01:10:39,333 I understand that what I'm asking them to do 1663 01:10:39,417 --> 01:10:41,875 is difficult, but if they're not in the moment and 1664 01:10:41,875 --> 01:10:44,750 they're not willing to listen, they just say no and 1665 01:10:44,833 --> 01:10:47,083 they move on and they try to change the subject. 1666 01:10:47,167 --> 01:10:50,083 That's been going on for 30 years so, 1667 01:10:50,167 --> 01:10:52,333 for me, that's what's hard. 1668 01:10:52,458 --> 01:11:02,417 ♪ 1669 01:11:04,500 --> 01:11:06,792 I think that my parents do shut down, 1670 01:11:06,875 --> 01:11:10,333 and it is wasted breath to argue with them 1671 01:11:10,417 --> 01:11:12,333 once they're at that point. 1672 01:11:12,458 --> 01:11:13,667 I pulled this piece out, 1673 01:11:13,750 --> 01:11:15,500 which is the child's sewing machine. 1674 01:11:15,583 --> 01:11:17,792 Oh, yeah, that's, that's the original box even. 1675 01:11:17,875 --> 01:11:19,792 Yeah, and it's in here, the, "Sew Handy". 1676 01:11:19,875 --> 01:11:21,625 It's great. 1677 01:11:21,708 --> 01:11:24,875 I had them for Kathy and Wendy when they were little... 1678 01:11:24,958 --> 01:11:27,833 'cause I would sew, and I was teaching them how to sew. 1679 01:11:27,875 --> 01:11:29,958 -Is that one valuable here? -It is, yeah. 1680 01:11:30,042 --> 01:11:33,833 So, you're looking at about $125, $150 at auction. 1681 01:11:33,917 --> 01:11:35,167 It's in, brand new, 1682 01:11:35,208 --> 01:11:36,667 still has the original needles, everything. 1683 01:11:36,750 --> 01:11:39,625 So, that's, that's what collectors look for. 1684 01:11:39,708 --> 01:11:41,500 So, do you want to part with it? 1685 01:11:41,583 --> 01:11:43,750 -Yeah, sure. -That's great. 1686 01:11:43,875 --> 01:11:46,042 But give me the money, not him. [Laughing] 1687 01:11:46,125 --> 01:11:48,250 We can do that, we can do that. 1688 01:11:48,250 --> 01:11:51,667 ♪ 1689 01:11:51,833 --> 01:11:54,333 Elizabeth is holding up 1690 01:11:54,375 --> 01:11:56,875 her end of this bargain right now. 1691 01:11:57,000 --> 01:12:00,000 She's taken something that is a collectible, 1692 01:12:00,042 --> 01:12:03,708 it's important to her, and she's letting it go. 1693 01:12:03,792 --> 01:12:05,958 And it's got memories for me, too. 1694 01:12:06,042 --> 01:12:09,167 ♪ 1695 01:12:09,250 --> 01:12:11,000 Whoopee. 1696 01:12:11,042 --> 01:12:13,125 Well, it's special to her. 1697 01:12:13,208 --> 01:12:16,583 -Yeah, well, yeah. -David, it's not funny. 1698 01:12:16,583 --> 01:12:18,542 -Yeah, it is. -Not really. 1699 01:12:18,667 --> 01:12:23,542 No, it's not funny. She's- your wife is in tears. 1700 01:12:23,625 --> 01:12:26,417 She's sentimental about something that 1701 01:12:26,417 --> 01:12:30,083 we just spoke about, yet she's willing to do... 1702 01:12:30,167 --> 01:12:32,500 the hard thing... 1703 01:12:32,625 --> 01:12:37,208 that she's just done, which is to let that go. 1704 01:12:37,208 --> 01:12:40,333 It was very difficult for me, but I won't be 1705 01:12:40,458 --> 01:12:42,583 using those things anymore, so... 1706 01:12:42,667 --> 01:12:44,667 why not get the money for them? 1707 01:12:44,708 --> 01:12:46,083 So, why don't we take a look at a couple of your lamps? 1708 01:12:46,167 --> 01:12:47,875 How about you pick one lamp here and we'll open it up? 1709 01:12:47,958 --> 01:12:50,208 He's kind of watching, he's observing, 1710 01:12:50,292 --> 01:12:52,375 but he seems adamant he's not going to 1711 01:12:52,458 --> 01:12:53,833 give away his lamps. 1712 01:12:53,875 --> 01:12:56,917 Let's just go with this one. Oh, it's already open. 1713 01:12:57,000 --> 01:12:59,833 Oh, look how pretty that is. 1714 01:12:59,917 --> 01:13:02,375 -They're all pretty. -Yeah, they are. 1715 01:13:02,458 --> 01:13:05,833 I would think at auction, we can get $200, maybe more. 1716 01:13:05,875 --> 01:13:07,458 That's a huge return. 1717 01:13:07,542 --> 01:13:11,042 They're not doing anything in a cupboard 1718 01:13:11,125 --> 01:13:12,667 downstairs in your basement. 1719 01:13:12,708 --> 01:13:16,167 These can be enjoyed by somebody else now. 1720 01:13:16,167 --> 01:13:17,625 Yeah. 1721 01:13:17,708 --> 01:13:19,292 And you could put that cash in your pocket. 1722 01:13:19,375 --> 01:13:20,333 I feel like, I feel like we're not 1723 01:13:20,458 --> 01:13:23,417 influencing your dad at all. 1724 01:13:23,542 --> 01:13:24,958 Like, I'm just kind of... 1725 01:13:25,042 --> 01:13:28,750 yeah, I know, I can see it all over your face. 1726 01:13:29,417 --> 01:13:33,417 I think this is where your change happens. 1727 01:13:33,500 --> 01:13:34,958 Right here. 1728 01:13:35,042 --> 01:13:37,667 If you can give away one of these lamps, 1729 01:13:37,708 --> 01:13:41,000 you will have shown real change. 1730 01:13:41,167 --> 01:13:43,583 ♪ 1731 01:13:43,667 --> 01:13:44,042 No. 1732 01:13:48,208 --> 01:13:52,792 ♪ 1733 01:13:53,208 --> 01:13:54,667 David is digging down. 1734 01:13:54,750 --> 01:13:58,500 He has no intention of giving up even a single lamp. 1735 01:13:59,375 --> 01:14:02,125 This is a hard thing to do. 1736 01:14:02,208 --> 01:14:06,375 -One? -One. 1737 01:14:06,458 --> 01:14:08,958 This is the moment where David... 1738 01:14:09,042 --> 01:14:10,833 shows us- and himself- 1739 01:14:10,875 --> 01:14:14,542 whether he has the ability to change or not. 1740 01:14:14,625 --> 01:14:18,250 The person that this goes to, if we're just selling it, 1741 01:14:18,375 --> 01:14:20,375 really has no connection to me. 1742 01:14:20,458 --> 01:14:21,833 So, when I give them away, 1743 01:14:21,917 --> 01:14:23,667 I give them away to people I know, 1744 01:14:23,708 --> 01:14:27,417 that I know will like them, and then I'm happy. 1745 01:14:27,542 --> 01:14:28,708 Got it. 1746 01:14:28,833 --> 01:14:31,375 You want the emotional goodies that come with 1747 01:14:31,458 --> 01:14:33,625 picking this up and handing it to someone and 1748 01:14:33,708 --> 01:14:36,125 seeing their facial expression when they... 1749 01:14:36,208 --> 01:14:37,667 Yeah, they'll be happy, 1750 01:14:37,750 --> 01:14:38,833 and I'll be happy I gave it to them. 1751 01:14:38,875 --> 01:14:40,833 I wish that could happen for you, I do, 1752 01:14:40,875 --> 01:14:44,042 because I think that what you just said is beautiful. 1753 01:14:44,042 --> 01:14:46,667 I just don't think it's going to happen. 1754 01:14:46,750 --> 01:14:48,667 Okay, then it won't go anywhere. 1755 01:14:48,708 --> 01:14:50,167 I do think it's going to happen. 1756 01:14:50,250 --> 01:14:54,042 I think you're going to feel some joy and some pride 1757 01:14:54,125 --> 01:14:56,750 in giving it to me to take to auction. 1758 01:14:56,833 --> 01:15:00,667 And that would make me feel really good. 1759 01:15:00,750 --> 01:15:03,458 I think she has a great idea because I would feel good. 1760 01:15:03,542 --> 01:15:05,667 [Kathy] I would feel good if you gave that away. 1761 01:15:05,708 --> 01:15:08,792 You have three people in this room to connect to, 1762 01:15:08,875 --> 01:15:11,792 right now, by giving away this lamp. 1763 01:15:11,875 --> 01:15:13,833 We are here in flesh and blood. 1764 01:15:13,875 --> 01:15:16,875 ♪ 1765 01:15:17,042 --> 01:15:18,333 One, to start? 1766 01:15:18,417 --> 01:15:19,625 Can definitely start with one. 1767 01:15:19,708 --> 01:15:22,875 -One is a start. -Yeah. 1768 01:15:22,958 --> 01:15:25,000 Okay, we'll let her have this one. 1769 01:15:25,083 --> 01:15:26,667 -Okay. -Okay. 1770 01:15:26,792 --> 01:15:30,167 ♪ 1771 01:15:30,167 --> 01:15:33,000 -Way to go. -Amazing! 1772 01:15:33,125 --> 01:15:35,500 [Laughing] 1773 01:15:35,625 --> 01:15:38,292 It may seem like a small thing, 1774 01:15:38,375 --> 01:15:39,833 like, what's the big deal? 1775 01:15:39,917 --> 01:15:42,333 It's just one out of your 45 lamps. 1776 01:15:42,375 --> 01:15:44,708 [Laughing] There we go. 1777 01:15:44,708 --> 01:15:47,375 But for David, that was a huge moment, 1778 01:15:47,458 --> 01:15:49,333 and that was a really big win. 1779 01:15:49,375 --> 01:15:50,833 You've done a really great thing today, 1780 01:15:50,917 --> 01:15:52,500 so it's a really good start. 1781 01:15:52,583 --> 01:15:54,208 -Thank you. -Yeah, you're welcome. 1782 01:15:54,292 --> 01:15:57,750 I'm hoping that once he realizes it wasn't that hard 1783 01:15:57,833 --> 01:16:00,625 to let it go, maybe he can get there again and 1784 01:16:00,708 --> 01:16:02,750 start giving more stuff away. 1785 01:16:02,833 --> 01:16:12,792 ♪ 1786 01:16:17,792 --> 01:16:20,375 ♪ 1787 01:16:20,458 --> 01:16:21,833 Oh, my God. 1788 01:16:21,958 --> 01:16:22,833 Oh, my goodness, oh, my goodness, 1789 01:16:22,958 --> 01:16:24,542 oh, my goodness, oh, my goodness. 1790 01:16:24,667 --> 01:16:26,792 That's so sad. 1791 01:16:26,875 --> 01:16:29,792 Oh, these people were living with mice like this. 1792 01:16:29,875 --> 01:16:33,458 This was in your living room. 1793 01:16:33,542 --> 01:16:35,667 So... 1794 01:16:35,708 --> 01:16:39,333 this died, decomposed, 1795 01:16:39,375 --> 01:16:41,167 and you never even smelled it. 1796 01:16:41,250 --> 01:16:42,625 That's disgusting. 1797 01:16:42,708 --> 01:16:44,333 That is disgusting, that's- 1798 01:16:44,417 --> 01:16:47,083 I don't want you to live like this. 1799 01:16:47,167 --> 01:16:48,625 Garbage, garbage. 1800 01:16:48,708 --> 01:16:50,667 Keep, keep. 1801 01:16:50,750 --> 01:16:52,792 The word of the day is overdrive. 1802 01:16:52,875 --> 01:16:56,000 We need to hustle, or they will lose their house. 1803 01:16:56,042 --> 01:16:58,667 Gosh, I haven't seen any of these for years. 1804 01:16:58,750 --> 01:17:01,167 We can take one piece away, how about that? 1805 01:17:01,250 --> 01:17:02,333 Sure. 1806 01:17:02,417 --> 01:17:03,292 You're okay to part with that piece? 1807 01:17:03,375 --> 01:17:04,833 Well, yeah. 1808 01:17:04,833 --> 01:17:06,750 We're running out of time, and I think that we have a 1809 01:17:06,833 --> 01:17:09,458 bit more in us to kind of give a final push. 1810 01:17:09,542 --> 01:17:12,292 How many times have you used this in the last two years? 1811 01:17:12,375 --> 01:17:13,750 -Zero. -Zero, excellent. 1812 01:17:13,833 --> 01:17:15,417 -That can go. -Okay, great. 1813 01:17:15,500 --> 01:17:17,708 ♪ 1814 01:17:17,792 --> 01:17:21,417 It's very possible that they'll be a bit angry after this, 1815 01:17:21,542 --> 01:17:23,000 if there's certain things they can't find, 1816 01:17:23,042 --> 01:17:24,917 but I'm willing to take that initial blow back to 1817 01:17:25,000 --> 01:17:27,000 get the house in the proper condition. 1818 01:17:27,042 --> 01:17:37,000 ♪ 1819 01:17:37,542 --> 01:17:38,792 All right, everyone from cleaning crew, 1820 01:17:38,875 --> 01:17:40,792 come with me, please. 1821 01:17:40,875 --> 01:17:42,833 I just wanted to ask one question outside, 1822 01:17:42,875 --> 01:17:44,833 have we loaded the bin and the donations? 1823 01:17:44,875 --> 01:17:47,167 Donation truck's loaded up and gone for delivery. 1824 01:17:47,250 --> 01:17:48,583 -Wonderful. -We have to do another run. 1825 01:17:48,667 --> 01:17:50,417 And the garbage is in the bin? 1826 01:17:50,500 --> 01:17:52,583 -Yeah. -Okay, guys, let's go. 1827 01:17:52,583 --> 01:17:54,042 All right! 1828 01:17:54,125 --> 01:17:56,000 Extreme Clean Group, amazing team. 1829 01:17:56,125 --> 01:18:00,375 We took out over 12 tons of stuff from that house, 1830 01:18:00,500 --> 01:18:03,208 and that wasn't including donations. 1831 01:18:03,333 --> 01:18:05,917 That's three dumpsters, 1832 01:18:06,000 --> 01:18:09,500 24,000 pounds of stuff. 1833 01:18:09,583 --> 01:18:11,958 I really hope it stays out. 1834 01:18:12,042 --> 01:18:22,000 ♪ 1835 01:18:24,167 --> 01:18:26,958 I think the whole experience was definitely worth it. 1836 01:18:27,042 --> 01:18:29,792 Trying at times, but we worked together as a team, 1837 01:18:29,792 --> 01:18:33,167 and I hope that having a clean house will motivate him 1838 01:18:33,292 --> 01:18:36,250 to keep on top of it, so it never gets like that again. 1839 01:18:36,333 --> 01:18:41,000 ♪ 1840 01:18:41,042 --> 01:18:43,125 -You may discard the chair. -Excellent. 1841 01:18:43,208 --> 01:18:46,000 I'm concerned that once everyone's gone, 1842 01:18:46,125 --> 01:18:49,333 he'll start to try replace some of the items 1843 01:18:49,375 --> 01:18:51,417 that he's gotten rid of. 1844 01:18:51,542 --> 01:18:53,375 Time will tell, but... 1845 01:18:53,458 --> 01:18:59,417 [Sighing] I'm concerned. 1846 01:18:59,500 --> 01:19:01,542 The house smells fresh and clean. 1847 01:19:01,625 --> 01:19:03,250 The mouse droppings are gone. 1848 01:19:03,333 --> 01:19:06,333 The air quality has improved, and the house is 1849 01:19:06,458 --> 01:19:09,375 no longer slowly killing David. 1850 01:19:09,458 --> 01:19:19,417 ♪ 1851 01:19:20,083 --> 01:19:22,833 Wow, look at that floor shine. 1852 01:19:23,000 --> 01:19:24,833 -Unbelievable! -There you go. 1853 01:19:24,917 --> 01:19:26,333 That looks a little better, eh? 1854 01:19:26,375 --> 01:19:28,792 It looks a lot better. 1855 01:19:28,875 --> 01:19:31,208 -Wow. -Wow! 1856 01:19:31,292 --> 01:19:34,250 ♪ 1857 01:19:34,333 --> 01:19:36,792 It's all tidy now and bright and cheery. 1858 01:19:36,875 --> 01:19:38,042 -Oh! -Wow! 1859 01:19:38,042 --> 01:19:41,667 The fine china's out, wow! What did they do? 1860 01:19:41,750 --> 01:19:43,917 -Amazing! -They cleaned. 1861 01:19:44,000 --> 01:19:46,792 It was a shock. It was absolutely beautiful. 1862 01:19:46,875 --> 01:19:49,083 I thought I was in a show home or something. 1863 01:19:49,208 --> 01:19:51,583 [Laughing] Oh... 1864 01:19:51,708 --> 01:19:53,750 Wow! 1865 01:19:53,833 --> 01:19:56,000 It was a mess, and it was dangerous. 1866 01:19:56,042 --> 01:19:57,542 We needed to change it. 1867 01:19:57,625 --> 01:19:59,667 Now we have a fresh start. 1868 01:19:59,792 --> 01:20:03,083 And I'm gonna try and not recreate it. 1869 01:20:03,167 --> 01:20:05,833 I haven't seen the carpet in so long in this room. 1870 01:20:05,875 --> 01:20:09,375 It was almost like an archive of every year... 1871 01:20:09,458 --> 01:20:13,250 of the life, being unburied as you took stuff off the top. 1872 01:20:13,333 --> 01:20:16,667 Ah, this looks amazing. 1873 01:20:16,708 --> 01:20:20,833 All the disgusting mess was gone. 1874 01:20:20,875 --> 01:20:23,000 There's a lot of hope for the future, I think. 1875 01:20:23,000 --> 01:20:25,500 I would say a significant improvement. 1876 01:20:25,542 --> 01:20:27,250 Yes. 1877 01:20:27,333 --> 01:20:30,500 My dad seemed very open to keeping things 1878 01:20:30,625 --> 01:20:31,833 the way that they are. 1879 01:20:31,833 --> 01:20:33,500 -An office. -Look at this. 1880 01:20:33,625 --> 01:20:35,958 -Wow. -That's so awesome. 1881 01:20:36,042 --> 01:20:39,458 The house just looks so much bigger than it did before. 1882 01:20:39,542 --> 01:20:41,583 Oh, my gosh. 1883 01:20:41,667 --> 01:20:43,458 This is wonderful. 1884 01:20:43,542 --> 01:20:46,792 ♪ 1885 01:20:46,875 --> 01:20:48,667 A flood of memories came back. 1886 01:20:48,708 --> 01:20:50,458 I hadn't seen them for such a long time. 1887 01:20:50,542 --> 01:20:51,792 It was... 1888 01:20:51,875 --> 01:20:53,458 down memory lane for me, really. 1889 01:20:53,542 --> 01:20:56,375 I felt just tears of joy. 1890 01:20:56,458 --> 01:20:58,292 Your new bedroom. 1891 01:20:58,375 --> 01:21:00,417 New and improved. 1892 01:21:00,500 --> 01:21:03,000 Wow, that's nice. Whoa! 1893 01:21:03,083 --> 01:21:07,000 By seeing the end result, I'm hoping that that will 1894 01:21:07,042 --> 01:21:10,000 help them overcome those feelings of loss. 1895 01:21:10,083 --> 01:21:12,500 That they'll be able to move past... 1896 01:21:12,583 --> 01:21:15,292 any blame that they might... 1897 01:21:15,375 --> 01:21:19,250 put on us for making them get rid of their stuff. 1898 01:21:19,333 --> 01:21:22,417 When I came in this room with you the first time, 1899 01:21:22,500 --> 01:21:23,875 there was... -Sh! 1900 01:21:23,958 --> 01:21:27,000 There was no walkway. 1901 01:21:27,083 --> 01:21:29,833 Every day you got, like jumped over. 1902 01:21:30,000 --> 01:21:32,458 It's not much of a challenge anymore. 1903 01:21:32,542 --> 01:21:36,375 The worry that we have for you is now kind of dissipated. 1904 01:21:36,375 --> 01:21:38,042 And I think... 1905 01:21:38,167 --> 01:21:39,833 you will be happier and, as a result, 1906 01:21:39,875 --> 01:21:41,292 we will be happier, too. 1907 01:21:41,375 --> 01:21:42,208 Yeah. 1908 01:21:42,292 --> 01:21:45,833 I just adore the three of you. 1909 01:21:45,917 --> 01:21:47,875 And... 1910 01:21:47,958 --> 01:21:50,875 you're what has made me happy. 1911 01:21:50,958 --> 01:21:53,333 The most treasured part of my life is 1912 01:21:53,417 --> 01:21:58,667 going through the years that I spent with you. 1913 01:21:58,750 --> 01:22:03,750 Those are the memories that I want to remember forever. 1914 01:22:03,875 --> 01:22:05,000 And you will. 1915 01:22:05,125 --> 01:22:07,083 Having us around, having the grandkids around. 1916 01:22:07,208 --> 01:22:08,167 Yeah. 1917 01:22:08,250 --> 01:22:09,542 And now we can make more memories 1918 01:22:09,542 --> 01:22:10,708 coming into this house. 1919 01:22:10,792 --> 01:22:12,083 Yes, right. 1920 01:22:12,167 --> 01:22:14,417 This is a very positive change for both of you. 1921 01:22:14,417 --> 01:22:17,500 -It is, yeah. -Yeah. 1922 01:22:17,625 --> 01:22:20,125 It's, it's really good. 1923 01:22:20,208 --> 01:22:22,167 And we hope that, yeah, you'll spend 1924 01:22:22,208 --> 01:22:24,917 more time over here, if you can. 1925 01:22:25,000 --> 01:22:26,875 I know that my dad loves us. 1926 01:22:27,000 --> 01:22:28,875 While it is very hard for him to say it, 1927 01:22:29,000 --> 01:22:30,708 I still feel it from him and I think that's 1928 01:22:30,792 --> 01:22:32,833 as important as saying it. 1929 01:22:32,917 --> 01:22:34,792 I would die for my kids... 1930 01:22:34,875 --> 01:22:36,875 you know, I love them that much. 1931 01:22:37,000 --> 01:22:38,333 And my wife. 1932 01:22:38,375 --> 01:22:41,500 I think one of the best ways... 1933 01:22:41,625 --> 01:22:43,375 that the two of you... 1934 01:22:43,458 --> 01:22:47,000 can show how much you appreciate your family, 1935 01:22:47,125 --> 01:22:50,792 is to look after yourselves, and to really 1936 01:22:50,875 --> 01:22:53,125 address the underlying issues... 1937 01:22:53,208 --> 01:22:55,833 that brought you here in the first place. 1938 01:22:55,875 --> 01:22:57,958 And so with that, we would like to 1939 01:22:58,042 --> 01:23:01,208 offer the option of aftercare. 1940 01:23:01,208 --> 01:23:03,917 Yeah, that's a good idea. 1941 01:23:04,042 --> 01:23:07,167 I agree, yeah. 1942 01:23:07,208 --> 01:23:10,167 I'm going to try to be a better person and... 1943 01:23:10,250 --> 01:23:13,458 not let the papers pile up over my head. 1944 01:23:13,542 --> 01:23:16,500 So, yeah, that's what I think I learned. 1945 01:23:16,542 --> 01:23:22,875 ♪ 1946 01:23:23,000 --> 01:23:26,167 There's my girls! Come in and see our new house. 1947 01:23:26,250 --> 01:23:28,417 -You seem pretty excited. -Hi! 1948 01:23:28,542 --> 01:23:31,292 -Hello. -Hello. 1949 01:23:31,375 --> 01:23:33,333 -Hello, Grandpa. -Scarlett, how are you? 1950 01:23:33,375 --> 01:23:35,042 Good to see you. 1951 01:23:35,125 --> 01:23:37,417 My grandkids coming over, they usually don't do that, 1952 01:23:37,500 --> 01:23:39,333 so to have them over was just amazing. 1953 01:23:39,375 --> 01:23:41,250 I just talked about you girls. 1954 01:23:41,375 --> 01:23:44,083 I said, "I can hardly wait to show Anabelle and Scarlett, 1955 01:23:44,167 --> 01:23:46,500 they've never been in our house because it was..." 1956 01:23:46,542 --> 01:23:48,333 -We've been in your house. -Did it look like this? 1957 01:23:48,375 --> 01:23:51,375 -Not like this though! -No! [Laughing] 1958 01:23:51,500 --> 01:23:53,042 Go on in. 1959 01:23:53,042 --> 01:23:54,500 Do you remember what the house looked like before? 1960 01:23:54,583 --> 01:23:57,000 It's going to be life changing for him. 1961 01:23:57,042 --> 01:23:59,000 Now we can have the family moments that 1962 01:23:59,042 --> 01:24:01,167 we haven't had for a while, 1963 01:24:01,250 --> 01:24:03,708 and he, he's going to have to get used to it. 1964 01:24:03,792 --> 01:24:05,500 -Go! -3, 2, 1, go! 1965 01:24:05,583 --> 01:24:07,833 Look at this, wow. So much room, eh? 1966 01:24:07,917 --> 01:24:10,167 The house looks so amazing. 1967 01:24:10,208 --> 01:24:12,792 Four days is kind of not something that you think can 1968 01:24:12,875 --> 01:24:15,083 make a significant difference when you looked at the house 1969 01:24:15,167 --> 01:24:17,292 from the beginning, and it really did, 1970 01:24:17,375 --> 01:24:19,583 that was a life changing clean out. 1971 01:24:19,708 --> 01:24:21,708 The roof seems lower now that everything's gone, 1972 01:24:21,875 --> 01:24:23,167 I don't know. 1973 01:24:23,250 --> 01:24:27,167 A huge weight has been lifted off of our shoulders. 1974 01:24:27,250 --> 01:24:29,375 I'm hoping that he'll be able to come out of his shell 1975 01:24:29,458 --> 01:24:32,208 a bit more now that he's not... 1976 01:24:32,292 --> 01:24:38,292 suffocating under all of the things that he had. 1977 01:24:38,375 --> 01:24:41,917 It was hard to do this, but I am more than happy 1978 01:24:42,000 --> 01:24:43,000 the way it turned out. 1979 01:24:43,083 --> 01:24:44,958 -You're going to come back? -No. 1980 01:24:45,042 --> 01:24:46,958 -Oh, okay. -[Laughing] 1981 01:24:47,042 --> 01:24:57,000 ♪ 1982 01:25:02,000 --> 01:25:10,583 ♪