- [Marjorie] We've been in this home 40 plus years,
my husband and I spend our time pretty much in bed.
There's an excess of many things.
- It's tough.
- [Pierre] It's depressing to see him in that situation.
- What can go in here.
- I see no trash.
- I'm not sure we're gonna get very far.
- This could be over. - I'm sorry you feel that way.
- I'm getting frustrated. - I don't give a damn at all.
- [Pierre] Use the value of the people here.
- [Marjorie] I cannot take another 48 hours in this.
Everything else goes back.
Thank you.
No.
I paid a lot of money- - I don't care.
How much is your husband worth?
- Please leave. - Good luck.
(upbeat music)
(calm music)
- [Marjorie] What's this?
(sighs)
Crap.
It's all ruined.
I'm Marjorie and I'm a hoarder.
There's an excess of many things.
I went to a lot of garage sales,
the estate sales and the thrift store.
So I've got extra clothes, extra linens,
extra soft goods, knicknacks and extra housewares.
One big collecting hoarding thing has been books.
Almost everybody I know has too many books
And I don't hoard animals.
I hoard animals stuff.
Dog dishes, cat toys.
I have furniture that I've bought meaning to refinish it.
I've tried to discipline myself to buy something,
take something away,
but it simply became overwhelming
because it was too much.
Snack time.
Oranges for both of us.
My husband and I spend our time pretty much in bed.
- I'm not gonna wait. (Majorie laughs)
- Whew. Hi. - Hi.
- We don't have easy access to the kitchen.
I don't have a functioning washer.
We've been in this home 40 plus years.
We owned a small house before we moved here,
but this is our main residence for our entire marriage.
- Please ma'am, may I have some more?
I'm Irv, I'm Marjorie's husband.
Marjorie and I have been married 52 years.
She was the first woman that I really cared about.
She was smart and funny.
She encourages me, she has always had faith in me
sometimes even more than I have in myself.
She has always been a cheerleader.
- My husband and I never had children by choice.
It is a choice.
We've always shared that love of animals.
We both care deeply for animals.
- I think that shared love of animals
helps keep us together.
Years keep going by and we've had some ups and downs.
But we both do love each other.
- I'm Pierre,
I've been friends with Marjorie and Irv for over 40 years.
I first met Irv when we were both selected on a rotary club
group study to west Africa.
That was in 1981.
We became the best of friends over that time
and have stayed very close ever since.
- That's how our friendship started and how it's grown.
And it's really solid.
Now he's definitely a part of my life and existence.
- I love Irv as a brother.
It is depressing to see him in that situation.
I'm really wanting to see,
them both in a home that's healthy.
- My husband, he has a basic diagnosis
and he was coping with that pretty well
for many years of type two diabetes.
And as of three or four months ago,
he has a Parkinson's diagnosis.
In February of this year and in May,
my husband fell twice breaking bones, both times.
- My fear is that if either one of them
needs medical assistance, no one can get to 'em.
- We had to call 911, and the EMT guys said
they couldn't bring the gurney in.
I had to make it to the sliding door outside
so that they could it take me to the ambulance
and then take me to the emergency room.
- They have a sliding glass door
on the backside of their room,
but now there's a pile four foot high
and three foot deep between it and the bed.
You couldn't even get out that way.
- I'll be having hip surgery soon.
So immediately we need the house emptied enough
that both of us can use walkers for our rehab
and for our daily safety.
- I'm Ceci, I'm Marjorie's friend.
I was over there during the summer and we walked around
and tried to figure out what to do,
getting organized, cleaning up
and basically we acknowledge that it's a big task.
I think Marjorie starts out with good intentions
and collects some things that I think are really worthwhile.
It's just the follow through of actually getting them,
to their final destination that can sometimes be difficult
for one reason or another.
- I'm Jan and Marjorie is my friend.
I think Marjorie will have a difficult time
getting rid of things that she thinks are of value,
but what she thinks are of value
and what other people think are of value
might be pretty different.
And I think it'll be particularly difficult
for her to think that she can't donate something.
When I went over there,
I felt overwhelmed because I wanted to help her.
And there was an item that I kept knocking it
into the little goat trail.
And I said, "Can we recycle this?"
and she goes, "Oh no, I'm gonna keep that.
It's a pretty bottle."
And I said, "We're gonna have to get rid of it."
And I realized,
then she wasn't in the mindset to get rid of stuff.
- I've tried several times to help clean up at the house.
I've basically laid a law down that I won't move stuff
from pile A to pile B.
I will move it out to the dumpster
that doesn't get a whole lot done
because she goes through this stuff
so slowly to look at every item in that,
and even things that are just total trash,
she'll want to keep. Magazines that are water damaged.
She can say, "Oh, I'll pull the pages apart."
or that kind of thing.
And so it does get ridiculous.
- Pierre.
I love him, but I think he's been mean
the last few years over the stuff.
And I feel very judged.
I think that he has no friggin' idea what's going on here
between me and my husband and everything else.
I think the worst part of the problem
were the real downhill issues.
Started about 11 years ago
when my husband lost his job.
It was sudden, our income was cut
and we almost lost our house.
And I think at some point there,
I bought and collected more things,
sadly things around me to sort of give me a cave.
And I just wanna sort of cocoon here.
- I was a writer and an editor.
I always felt I was pretty good at that,
and then when I lost my job,
I kinda lost interest in just about everything.
I was depressed,
I've taken depression medication for many years,
even before that, but that was like an additional blow.
- I think him losing his job so abruptly.
I don't think we emotionally and financially ever recovered.
I don't think that he and I have been in sync
or making good choices and we're managing now,
but we are hardly comfortable.
It's just sort of treading water and trying to survive.
And our world has gotten smaller and smaller.
- Now it's getting more oppressive.
And I almost feel as if I'm bedridden
because there isn't another room
that I could sit in and do anything.
So I sit or lie in bed, watch TV.
I get up when I need to make something to eat or drink.
And I bring it back to the bed where I eat and drink.
And that's about the extent of my existence right now.
It's tough.
- I've seen him as a bubbly personality,
laughing, joking, friendly, and he doesn't have that now.
He's almost downtrodden.
And when we get out and we go to lunch with that
and get him away from the home, you can see him,
come back to life, shall we say?
And I just think you get yourself in a position
of depressing situation and you've become depressed.
It's hard to battle back.
And I think they're just buried.
- If it doesn't get cleaned up, it could be tragic.
One of us could fall and then the authorities would come in
and whoever fell would get put in a facility,
then the person remaining would have no control
over what happens.
I just feel incredibly vulnerable right now
and embarrassed that this is how I live and we live.
This is not me, I don't think.
I don't want it to be me.
(calm music)
(knocks door)
- [Dr. Tolin] Hi Marjorie.
Hi, I'm Dr. Tolin.
- [Marjorie] Welcome.
- [Dr. Tolin] Very nice to meet you.
- [Marjorie] Thank you. - May I come in?
- [Marjorie] Please. - Thank you.
I'm Dr. David Tolin, I'm a clinical psychologist
and I specialize in the treatment of hoarding disorder.
- [Marjorie] Welcome to my mess.
- [Dr. Tolin] Thank you for having me in it.
(Marjorie laughs)
So Marjorie, what I'm interested in doing is,
walking around the house a little bit with you
and getting to see the house,
but also getting to know you a little bit and that way you
and I can kind of figure out a good way
that we can work together in these next several days.
- [Marjorie] Okay.
- [Dr. Tolin] I see you have a lot of furniture in here.
- [Marjorie] I do.
The idea there was paint, fix up, move, use somewhere else.
- [Dr. Tolin] Hmm. - That didn't happen.
This is part of a bedroom set,
- [Dr. Tolin] This here, yeah.
- [Marjorie] That I love.
- [Dr. Tolin] Yeah, but obviously
it's not in the bedroom.
- [Marjorie] And I bought it with the idea
that I would have it professionally painted.
- Mm hmm.
The large piece was - [Dr. Tolin] Yeah.
actually delivered.
I thought of a lot of potential for it.
- The pattern I see in Marjorie
is that she acquires things with the best of intentions,
but she doesn't have any follow through.
She's got no capacity to actually do
the things that she says she's going to do.
And that's not gonna get any better after her hip surgery.
Let's take a look at some other parts of the house.
- Okay. - All right.
- [Marjorie] We're looking at a modified dining room.
- [Dr. Tolin] Okay. - There's a dining table there.
- [Dr. Tolin] Where? Here?
- [Marjorie] Yes. Buried.
There's a desk in front of it.
- [Dr. Tolin] I see that. Okay.
- [Marjorie] And it matches furniture in the garage.
Then we're looking at a large family room.
- [Dr. Tolin] Yeah. I see that, big room.
- [Marjorie] Big room and then steps upstairs
- [Dr. Tolin] Mm hmm. - to another bedroom and bath.
- [Dr. Tolin] Okay. Can you tell me Marjorie,
how did all this stuff get in here?
- [Marjorie] 11 Years ago,
there was a lot of upset emotionally.
- Mm hmm.
For two years we were literally just nonfunctioning
here in this house.
- [Dr. Tolin] What had happened?
- [Marjorie] My husband who's the main breadwinner,
as American companies, I mean,
there was downsizing and- - Mmm.
- He lost his job. - We knew it was coming,
but it was still, it was very abrupt.
- Mmm. There was no notice.
I think both of us just sort of,
licked our wounds and retreated.
- You didn't really recover. - We didn't recover.
That's 11 years.
- [Dr. Tolin] Is that when you started
bringing all the stuff into the house?
- [Marjorie] Um...I have to say that it was a pattern,
but I think that it built more, it was my escape.
- [Dr. Tolin] It was there, but it got worse.
- Okay. Okay. - Yes. It was my escape.
And the stuff didn't get in and out, in and out,
- [Dr. Tolin] I see. - like it all stayed.
- Just stayed in.
- Yeah. - So Marjorie,
you were mentioning your husband
and I wonder if we might go meet him?
- Yes. - Where will we find him?
- [Marjorie] We pretty much live in the bedroom.
- Live in the bedroom. - Yes.
- Okay. - This is what it is.
Let's go see. - Yeah, let's go meet him.
- Okay.
- Hi honey.
- I was feeling lonesome.
- [Marjorie] (chuckles) We have a guest.
- All right.
Hello? - I'm David Tolin.
Very nice to meet you.
- [Irv] I'm Irv.
- Irv. - Call me, Irv.
- Okay Irv.
So Irv, Marjorie was just kind of showing me
around the house a little bit
and giving me a little bit of a sense of what's happening.
And she tells me the you two basically live in this room.
- Basically. - Okay.
- [Irv] I almost feel like I'm bedridden
because this is it.
We eat here. We talk here.
We watch TV here.
- [Dr. Tolin] Not much room elsewhere in the house, I guess.
- [Irv] There's no place else to sit really so.
- This hoarding situation really makes me sad
because I see Marjorie and Irv
confined to this tiny bedroom.
And that's their entire life.
It's not even the bedroom, it's the bed.
Irv I've been hearing from Marjorie a little bit
about how things developed and what's going on here,
but I'd be really curious to get your input here.
How do you think this all happened?
- [Irv] Things came in and they didn't go out. (laughs)
- Yeah, it sounds like what ends up happening
is that it just turns into clutter,
becomes something that's not really contributing
to your quality of life. - Yeah.
So that's part of why we're here.
We'll start working on that sort of thing.
Irv has fallen several times and injured himself
and Marjorie is about to have hip surgery.
And so she's not gonna be able to help him.
The two of them are not gonna last very long
in this situation.
We've really gotta do something about this
if they're gonna be safe.
In a minute I'd like you to come out with me
and meet my partner, Cory.
And he is going to be working on
a lot of the clutter in the home.
And I'd like to hear what he has to say about it.
Would that be all right?
- Sure. - Okay.
- Yes. - Why don't we go out
and let's meet Cory. Okay.
- Okay. - Alright.
- I'm okay. - You're okay.
Okay. And here's Cory.
- Hey Dr. Tolin. - How are you doing Cory?
- I'm good. Good to see you. - [Dr. Tolin] Good to see you.
- Hi there.
I've got a couple people I'd like you to meet.
- Sure. - This is Marjorie.
- Hi, Marjorie. Nice to meet you.
- And this is her husband Irv. - Fist pump.
- Hi. - This is Cory.
- How are you doing, Irv.
Nice to meet you.
There you go.
I'm Cory Chalmers, an extreme cleaner
that specializes in biohazard and hoarding.
Now that I've seen the house,
and I kind of understand what you're up against.
Can you tell me what your goals are for the home?
Like what do you wanna see out of this?
- [Marjorie] We need to have accessibility from our bedroom,
through our cluttered hallway,
clear through our dining room,
a lot more clear in the kitchen,
and we have to have a clear path to the front door.
- I think the biggest concern for me
not getting Marjorie and Irv's house cleaned
is they're gonna fall.
And they're probably gonna die in that house.
There could be a fire, there could be anything.
They do not have the mobility to get around the house,
let alone get out of it if there was an emergency.
So when did this get dropped off?
- [Marjorie] The storage container
has been here eight to 10 days.
And there's a very concrete reason
that in cleaning out the house, we need to have that here.
- [Cory] Okay. Yeah.
What is that concrete reason?
- [Marjorie] I want to store some things
for one or two months til I can work with local agencies
and also some of our Afghan - [Irv] Right, yeah.
refugees to give them stuff.
- Here's my concern, Marjorie is...
I'm concerned that you may not
actually be able to follow through with that,
'cause I'm just sort of thinking about the pattern
that we identified inside the house,
which is that you've got so many good intentions
for hanging onto stuff.
You've got good reasons,
but you don't really have the mobility
and the ability to follow through with those things.
Is it really in your best interest to be in these stuff,
storage business,
or is that just a toxic business for both of you to be in.
- [Marjorie] Whether it's my best interest or not,
I'm ready to give another family in this town
some valuable things.
If I can't outright give it away in a couple of months,
I will try to very safely put it on Craig's List,
sell it for something.
- That's not gonna work.
This thing is gonna be packed full.
You're gonna be very mobility limited, right?
How are you gonna go through a...
- You can't take a picture of it - Storage containier.
before it's put in there or I...
- [Cory] We're not going to.
- [Marjorie] You can't set it out here, Cory?
- No, we don't have time for that.
Someone like Marjorie that collects things,
they don't wanna just see it go to waste.
But at the same time,
I know she's never gonna donate this stuff.
She hasn't for decades, it looks like.
And so I really don't think she will
if we fill up this container and leave.
So you're choosing refugees and donated items
over your own space and health and that's fine,
but I just wanna put it out there from the beginning
that this will alter the outcome of this house for you guys.
- [Marjorie] Well, I'm sorry.
That's the bottom line.
- When we actually start getting into this clean out,
she may dig in her heels and demand to control everything.
She's gonna be focused on what to save
and what she's gonna donate and how she's gonna help people,
which is wonderful.
At the same time if those rationales become excuses
to just hang on to more and more stuff,
that's gonna be a problem.
(intense music)
(truck beeping)
- [Cory] Good morning, everyone.
- [All] Good Morning.
- Marjorie and Irv.
Big day for you guys.
Lots of resources.
We have myself. We have Dr. Tolin.
We have the stair clean crew.
We have the clutter moving crew.
We have organizers.
I don't know what more you can need
to set up for a successful cleanup.
At the end of all this, what do you want?
What do you want out of this?
- [Irv] I want a safe environment
that we can go through this house with a walker
or a wheelchair if we need it,
because we both have mobility issues.
And whatever excess stuff we can get rid of will be great.
- [Cory] That's what we wanna hear.
Marjorie, what would you like to see out of this?
- [Marjorie] A safe, more comfortable environment.
- [Cory] I love that.
Key words, two words that I like to use safe and functional.
That's really all we want out of this.
Okay, so as long as we're in alignment with that,
I think we're off to a great start.
Now how we get there is a different story.
Okay, there's probably gonna be some struggles,
just thinking differently about things
that Dr. Tolin will talk about because that's his job here
is to help you through those difficult times.
- [Dr. Tolin] That's right. Thanks, Cory.
And the question is do you really wanna make
a big fundamental change in your relationship to stuff?
That's what I'm gonna be kind of challenging you
to think about as we go through this process.
You know, my aim is not only to make sure
that we get the house safe and functional now.
But if I were to come back a year from now,
I wanna make sure that it's not cluttering back up again.
And in order to do that,
we're gonna have to make behavioral changes.
And that's where I'm gonna be challenging both of you.
- [Marjorie] We will try to follow your lead
and see your example - [Dr. Tolin] Mm hmm.
and learn - [Dr. Tolin] Mm hmm.
and build on that.
- [Dr. Tolin] Good. Lets hear from your friend.
What do you wanna see out of this for them?
Pierre?
- [Pierre] I'd like to see them in a house that functions,
as it used to happen,
we used to have great parties here and a lot of fun
and it was a beautiful stylish home.
Marjorie has a real decorating flare
and it just got away from her.
She brought in too much stuff to decorate
- [Dr. Tolin] Mm hmm.
and a lot of things she had ideas of where they would go
and before she could get 'em there,
they got buried under other things
- Mm hmm.
that were supposed to go somewhere.
- Yeah.
And now it's at a point where she just has to get rid of it.
The value you guys are giving her to clean this place up
far outweighs any value of what's in there.
- [Dr. Tolin] Jan and Ceci, what are your hopes
for what we can accomplish over these next few days?
- I would love to sit in your home and have a party
and enjoy all the beautiful things that you have.
And we're gonna find the most beautiful ones
and make sure that they have a place for display
because you have so many nice things
and I'd like the opportunity to see them.
- [Dr. Tolin] Thank you, Ceci. Jan.
- [Jan] I'd like to see them have a little peace of mind
because I feel like their home can be very comfortable.
I know that it was for a long time
before you made all these additions
and I feel like your healthy mind and a healthy heart
and a healthy body will contribute to all of that.
And I think you are wonderful people.
And I really wanna see you
have your wonderful environment back.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
- [Dr. Tolin] So Cory, what's the plan for today.
- [Cory] We need to start by making some room.
So I know I talk to you Marjorie about the backyard
- Mm hmm.
and you said we could start there
and kind of clear up some of that debris back there.
So I think we need to go back there
and make some quick decisions
so we can get our tables set up.
Some tarp set up to make a sorting area.
Does that sound good? - Wonderful.
- Okay, are you guys ready to get started in the backyard?
- [All] Yeah.
- [Cory] All right, let's go. Go!
(upbeat music)
- [Marjorie] I really will decide quick, Cory.
I promise you that and I want to show that to you.
- Yeah.
These were things I actually wanted to save,
but nobody covered it up properly.
This upsets me because I paid somebody
four hours to work with me about four months ago,
sort and cover up.
And now the things I sorted and covered up are damaged.
- [Cory] Yes, so what did you learn from that?
- [Marjorie] That you can't depend on people.
- [Cory] But what about keeping stuff in your backyard,
is that the best place?
- [Marjorie] I had no place to put it
because he also didn't clean out the damn shed.
So I could direct him to put it there
instead of here and cover it up temporarily.
- [Cory] I hear you blaming others,
but at the end of the day it's your stuff.
- [Marjorie] I blame others for their ineptness
and their lack of following directions
and their lack of follow through.
- [Dr. Tolin] But now we have some decisions to make.
- I'm going to. - To go forward.
So how much stuff do you think you want to hang onto
in this side yard and how much stuff you wanna-
- [Marjorie] I don't know what it is for sure
till you pull it out and I will quickly make a decision,
but my question is, can it,
at some point go in that building?
You gotta make some room in that building.
- [Dr. Tolin] Well, here's where
I would challenge you a little bit, Marjorie.
Our aim is not to come here and just move your stuff around.
You have too much stuff
and that's what's endangering you and Irv.
And you're gonna have to let go of things.
- [Cory] Let's do the work as you want to do it.
And let's see what we're left with.
Can we do that?
- Thank you. - Okay, let's go for it.
- [Cory] Let's just start with this stuff on top.
- [Marjorie] Okay. Uh huh.
- [Cory] Why are you even gonna look at that?
Go ahead.
- [Marjorie] Because it's a LED flameless candle,
that is probably just fine in there.
You put a battery in it. It's useful.
- [Cory] Do you want it?
Does that bother you? - It bothers me.
- Do you wanna donate it? - No.
- I want you to give us a real answer.
- No. - Okay.
- [Marjorie] Please. Thank you.
This is keep. - And what's that keep for?
What are you gonna use this for?
- [Marjorie] In my kitchen. In my kitchen.
- [Dr. Tolin] Can I just take a quick peek at that?
- [Marjorie] Uh huh. - I mean, so Marjorie,
this is the kind of thing I'm talking about.
I'm wondering,
is it in your best interest to save this
given what you and Irv are trying to accomplish?
- Yes, it is because this will encourage me
when I'm feeling well and have access to my kitchen
to make a healthy vegetable salad in aspect
and have that for dinner someday.
Okay. Let's keep going.
It is a barbecue cover. - Do you have a barbecue?
- Um...Huh? - Nobody's gonna clean it up.
- [Marjorie] If it will function in the yard,
you could put lawn chairs together and put it over.
- [Dr. Tolin] I think what's happening, Marjorie,
is you're finding reasons to hang on to stuff.
- [Marjorie] No, these things can be repurposed.
- Yeah. But- - As is,
it doesn't have to be clean. - Marjorie,
come back and think- - It's not ripped.
- [Dr. Tolin] All right, Marjorie,
come back and think about the crisis that we're in.
- [Marjorie] Look at this. - Yeah.
But you could set this aside in two minutes
instead of discussing it.
- [Cory] We're here to,
the discussion is part of the process here.
- [Marjorie] Up front please.
- [Dr. Tolin] My concern Marjorie
is that you're hanging on garbage.
And I think that you just don't wanna let go of it.
- [Marjorie] I can't control your thoughts,
but I can control this situation.
- I think you're trying to exert a level of control
that maybe isn't very healthy for you.
But what's happening here is you're hanging on to things
that most people would consider to be junk.
And I don't think that it's healthy
or in your best interest to do that.
Marjorie seems to be downplaying
the significance of the problem.
I think we need to recognize
that this is a really serious hoarding problem
and it's enough that she and her husband
are not able to be safe.
Unless she wakes up to that fact,
I'm not sure we're gonna get very far.
(intense music)
- [Marjorie] Keep.
Keep.
(intense music)
- [Dr. Tolin] Irv I'm interested
in getting your perspective on this as well.
We're I think having a little bit of a struggle
in the sense that Marjorie seems to be hanging on
to a lot of things
and Marjorie, tell me if I'm getting it right.
You're hanging onto a lot of things
that you think you might use later
and hanging onto a lot of things
that you think might be donatable,
but ultimately not a whole lot is actually being discarded.
But I just wanted to see sort of Irv what you thought is
about this stuff on this side of the yard.
- [Irv] Yeah, I did expect more of it to be gone.
- [Cory] What we're trying to point out
is I don't see things like this useful
and she wanted to make a salad for you guys in this,
and that I don't think is realistic.
Do you think that's realistic?
- [Irv] I don't see a time
where that would be helpful to us.
- [Marjorie] All I said was,
I can see when my kitchen is clean
and I'm feeling better and accessible that I can make
a very healthy vegetable Jello salad in that for us.
- [Dr. Tolin] You can,
but does that mean you should keep it?
You might need to let go of that idea, Marjorie.
- [Marjorie] So I just have to use one bowl
for mixing, preparing, - Oh come on.
- [Marjorie] a mold, everything.
I'm already trying to multipurpose my kitchen.
- [Dr. Tolin] Don't think here in any danger
of us leaving you with one bowl.
(calm music)
You have to do things differently.
You can't keep trying to do things the same way
and expect a different result.
- [Irv] If we have had this stuff for that long
and haven't used it or can't even remember what it is,
we obviously don't need it. - Exactly.
- We should get rid of it. - Amen.
- I know that you see the value in a whole lot of stuff,
but is anybody else going to see that value in-
- [Marjorie] Right now, - Uh huh.
I see the value in these things
more than 90% of the people I've met in the last few years.
- [Dr. Tolin] Right, Marjorie I want you to recognize
that as a problem, (Marjorie laughs)
not as a strength, that's a problem.
- [Marjorie] I ask for you to set aside
quality cooking items, that is an insulated cookie tray.
- [Cory] Well, again,
our definition of quality is gonna differ.
- [Marjorie] I can clean that up in five minutes.
- Yes. - You can.
- [Cory] Times a million other things.
- [Marjorie] Just think of how much stuff
that you already have, Marjorie.
- This is hard, I know it is. - [Cory] It is.
And this is the part that we don't like,
but it's the part that's so important that when we leave,
we know you're thinking differently
that we're not just - Thank you.
- [Cory] saving all this stuff.
We're not trying to be mean.
We're not trying to be disrespectful
or we're just trying to do what we do.
And that's help people that suffer from hoarding.
- [Marjorie] That's a cat thing. That's a play for a cat.
- [Dr. Tolin] Marjorie. - Yeah.
- Can I offer a- - This is perfectly workable.
- [Dr. Tolin] So can I offer a challenge, Marjorie.
- Certainly. - Throw all this away.
- Come on. - You don't need this.
This is all junk that's been sitting in waterlogged.
- [Marjorie] They cost a lot of money.
- [Dr. Tolin] You have a lot of strength, you're smart.
You're intelligent, you're witty, you're friendly.
You've got a lot going for you,
but knowing what to save and what to let go of
is not one of your strengths,
so let people influence you, let people help you.
(Marjorie mumbles)
- [Cory] Marjorie your life is spent in your bed
and all these plans that you have.
We're just trying to get you into other rooms of your house.
I want to give you a better life.
And that's what we're trying to do.
(Marjorie sighs)
- [Irv] You can do it.
- Okay, any cat things? - Yep.
- And dog things. - Yep.
- Right, housewares that are platters, dishes,
whatever that can just be that washed.
- [Cory] That are cleanable. - Right.
- [Marjorie] Under that tarp towards the front,
- Mm hmm.
off the ground, I hope, is a large square file cabinet.
- [Cory] We'll use those rules, okay.
Everyone knows, pet stuff, kitchenware,
household things like that file cabinet
stay on the tarps.
Everything else can go outside of those rules
unless you find something valuable or keys.
- Okay.
(intense music)
- [Cory] Our crews took the tarps off these two big piles.
What about these two like saw horses with the steel on top.
- Saw horses have to stay
because they're very useful everywhere.
This at one time was a pot rack in my kitchen.
And now I would like to use it out here,
somewhere in the yard.
This can be folded down. - But it's keep?
- [Marjorie] Mm-hmm.
I think that's useful, I don't think it got wet.
Keep.
- [Cory] You don't think it got wet?
- [Marjorie] It was under a tarp, it didn't get soaked.
How's that? - Keep.
- [Marjorie] Okay, the Plexiglas thing sticking out.
- Yeah. - May I have that?
- [Marjorie] What do you want that for.
- [Marjorie] Now if I have my beautiful tall ceiling cleared
- Mm hmm.
I get a drill, I clean these up and this becomes a mobile.
(Cory sighs) This is an art project.
Sorry, please.
No, no, no debate on that one.
You'll find six or eight more.
- Marjorie. - I'm sorry.
No debate on that one sir.
- [Dr. Tolin] I'm not looking to debate you,
but you're hanging on to trash.
- [Marjorie] No, I'm sorry.
- [Dr. Tolin] And I think you need to kind of see it
from this perspective.
- [Marjorie] No, no.
- [Dr. Tolin] You're about to have hip surgery.
I don't think you're actually going to make a mobile
out of this stuff.
I think this is gonna continue to be clutter in your home
that's gonna be in your way.
- [Marjorie] I will not give that up.
Thank you.
- [Dr. Tolin] What do you think about that, Jan and Pierre?
- [Marjorie] They don't take up much space, Jan.
- [Jan] I think that it'll probably get done
in 20 years if that,
I think it'll be a long time coming before she gets to that.
- [Dr. Tolin] What do you think is gonna happen here Pierre?
What do you think is gonna happen?
- [Pierre] I think it's gonna go into a pile
and stay there for the next 20 years.
- [Dr. Tolin] That's my concern as well.
You're hanging onto things because of projects
that you think you're going to get to.
And I don't think you're gonna get to them.
I don't know if I'm gonna be able
to get through to Marjorie.
She's very controlling and she really wants to maintain
tight control over not just the process of the clean out,
but the people including me.
- [Marjorie] But I can't talk to you and watch this. Okay.
- [Dr. Tolin] That's right. So don't watch that, talk to me.
They've all stopped.
- Yeah. They've all stopped. - They've all stopped.
- [Marjorie] Then nothing gets done.
- [Dr. Tolin] What getting done is right here
between you and me, Marjorie.
That's what's getting done.
You and I obviously need to talk about your process
because you're hanging onto things for,
I think the wrong reasons.
That's been the story of your life so far,
is that you have all these great ideas, great plans,
great aspirations,
and not the capacity to follow through with them.
So it all just piles up and we need to reverse that process.
If Marjorie doesn't change her perspective,
if she doesn't radically change her behavior,
then we're not gonna make very much progress here.
And we're certainly not gonna have long term stability
and safety in the home.
We can't have this keep going.
You've gotta let go, Marjorie.
(intense music)
(truck beeping)
- This is the first time I've ever spent all day in a yard
just trying to get an area set up for a table
that we can organize the stuff coming outta the house.
So we're already way behind the curve at this point.
Morning, you guys. - Good morning.
- [Cory] How is everyone feeling after the first day.
- A bit tired. - Still?
- [Dr. Tolin] You had a long day.
What happened after we left with the two donation people?
- [Marjorie] My friend that I've known for 20 years,
who's very reliable was just a little late,
but she brought her husband
and they took mass quantities of things.
- [Cory] Mm hmm. - [Irv] Cages, carriers.
- [Marjorie] She took that large dog cage,
a lot of the big stuff.
The cat carriers, all the bowls, all the paraphernalia.
- [Cory] And what about the refugee place?
- [Marjorie] They took about six boxes.
- [Cory] Okay.
And you feel okay with the stuff gone?
As long as it finds a home where it's gonna be used.
you are okay with that. - No, I'm so happy.
But in identifying for the people
who picked things up last night,
I see missing lids and such,
and yesterday, your people didn't identify lids
that went to matching things.
- [Cory] Sending stuff to a charity
that might not have a lid.
Is that a bigger deal than cleaning your house
and making it safe for you and your husband?
Is that really what you wanna focus
your anger and everything on,
or do you want to get your house cleared
so that you can have your surgery
and you guys can have home health,
home care, space to move, have people over,
the more important things in life.
- [Marjorie] It's not anger or even a priority,
it was an observation.
- [Cory] But one worth bringing up.
Instead of saying, "Wow, you guys did amazing.
I'm really excited for today.
And what you guys can do in the house."
I will promise you right now that mistakes will be made.
There's no way we are gonna touch
tens of thousands of things and mistakes won't be made.
I can assure you that.
I wish I could promise you different.
I can't, it's not possible.
Just like, you know there's just so much going on.
It's impossible to not have mistakes made.
Okay. We try our best.
I promise we do.
We really do.
But at the end of the day,
this is about you and your safety, not the refugees,
not the cat rescue getting a complete set of something.
And I apologize if that's gonna wear on you,
but it's just not our priority.
You are, Irv is, your house is, not a lid.
Dr. Tolin, what do you think about
just kinda what you're hearing and...
- [Dr. Tolin] You know, I'm really interested
in the process here.
How good of a job would you say you're doing?
- [Marjorie] Much less than you want, but as best I can do.
- [Dr. Tolin] It's not what I want, Marjorie.
- [Marjorie] Not as much as would be optimum
for your outcome and...
- [Dr. Tolin] Not my outcome, Marjorie.
It's not my outcome, it's not my process.
This is not my home.
- Okay?
- We're not here for us.
This is not about us and this is not about making us happy.
This is about trying to help you as best we can.
- [Irv] I think you all are doing the best you can
in this situation.
This might get me in trouble,
but Marjorie needs to be in control.
- Mmm
And she's finding herself in a position
where she can't be in charge, but she's still fighting.
- [Dr. Tolin] Yeah.
Pierre and Jan,
I mean, what's your reflection on how things are going.
- [Jan] I wonder if Marjorie,
if you find your self worth in all of the stuff
that surrounds you?
But you're so much more than that,
I feel you is so much more than all this stuff.
You're everything right here, right in your heart.
And I really wish that you could put yourself first,
and see that you can help people more,
more often and better.
If you could have a cleaner home and have people over
and say, "Hey, I just found this at the thrift store.
Why don't you come over and take a look at it?
I think you'll really like it. (Marjorie laughs)
And you can follow up, if you have more space,
you can follow up on the things that you have planned.
- [Dr. Tolin] Pierre, what's your sense of things?
- [Pierre] Well, I went home last night
and thought about what we accomplished yesterday
and we accomplished very little.
Everything outside that had been exposed was trash.
I don't know what's gonna happen inside
where things have been somewhat protected.
You've got all these people standing here
willing to go in and clean this house out.
They have cleaners.
They have organizers.
They have people that have gone through this stuff before.
Trust them, tell them,
"Look, if it's worth anything, put it here.
If it's worth that, put it here."
If we don't get the downstairs totally cleaned out today,
it's a waste.
You gotta get the complete downstairs.
We should have had the whole yard cleaned out,
raked up, perfect by yesterday, the whole downstairs today,
garage and upstairs tomorrow,
the last day is cleaning and detail stuff.
You are on a schedule.
If you blow it today, it's blown.
They won't come back.
I'm not coming back to move stuff.
Please, we're pleading with you.
And it's not for us, I'm not doing this for myself.
I've taken my all these days off.
I'm here to help you two.
Please let us help you.
First trust the people that are sorting it,
that they know what is a value.
Second trust your friend,
that she could be a second set of eyes
to really put things aside.
Use the value of the people here.
You have thousands and thousands of dollars
of resource in front of you.
Don't let it go, please, please.
Okay. I'm sorry.
But boy, I got worked up last night.
- [Dr. Tolin] Marjorie, your reaction?
Pierre just really poured his heart out.
And clearly he's got some very strong opinions on this
and I'm interested in your sense of about what he said?
- [Marjorie] I don't think that he has an understanding of
bits and pieces that he's heard me talk to people about.
He doesn't have the experience that I've had.
And I mean, this is minutia.
This is a waste.
But yesterday, one of your staff, there were two.
- [Dr. Tolin] Marjorie,
we're talking about Pierre and what he just said.
- [Pierre] You're getting hungry up on little tiny things.
- [Dr. Tolin] Yeah.
Think of the big picture - Excuse me.
- [Pierre] You gotta get your life together.
- [Dr. Tolin] I was really happy to hear Pierre
tell it like it is, he didn't hold back.
And I appreciate that.
This is not the time to pussyfoot around.
This is the time to let Marjorie know the stakes.
- [Irv] Sounded like an evangelist.
- [Pierre] Oh man, if this goes away,
if you blow this opportunity...
Please.
- Sadly things around me, just sort of give me a cave.
I just want to sort of cocoon here.
- [Irv] Almost feels like I'm bedridden,
because this is it.
- [Dr. Tolin] How do you think this all happened?
- [Irv] Things came in and they didn't go out.
- [Dr. Tolin] My concern Marjorie is
that you're hanging on garbage.
- [Marjorie] I can't control your thoughts,
but I can control this situation.
- [Dr. Tolin] This is not the time to pussyfoot around.
- [Pierre] You've got all these people standing here
willing to go in and clean this house up.
Use the value of the people here.
- This is the time to let Marjorie know the stakes.
- You have thousands and thousands of dollars
of resource in front of you.
Don't let it go. Please.
(upbeat music)
- Sorting.
- Garage. - Garage.
(intense music)
- [Cory] So Marjorie we spent about the last hour,
it has been an hour in the bedroom clearing what we could,
but it's all out here on the tables now.
So we do have to make some decisions.
- Mm hmm. - If you're okay with it,
the plan would be to split up in three teams.
We'll have you working with Abigail, which I know you trust.
Catherine can work with Jan and Irv and Pierre together.
Would that be okay?
(Irv laughs)
- [Cory] I saved that one for last. I saved that for last.
- There was a pause here. (Pierre laughs)
- You don't trust your own husband?
- It wasn't the husband. (all laugh)
- [Dr. Tolin] Feels nice to have a clear bedroom, right?
- [Marjorie] Yes.
- [Dr. Tolin] So let's not bring all this stuff back into it.
Let's keep it clear, but that means stuff's gotta go.
- Okay. - And again,
you're gonna need to rely on your friends and family
to help you with that. - Mm hmm. Okay.
Where is our donate bag? - Donate.
- Start a donate clothes bag. - We can use that box there.
(indistinct chatter)
- [Marjorie] This is keep, clothes.
- [Abigail] Keep, okay.
- [Pierre] What do you think this is for?
Pancake? - Heart-shaped pancakes.
- Yes.
- [Pierre] Have you ever made a heart-shaped pancake
from the whole time you've had this?
- No. - What you say?
It's up to you. - Okay.
- I'm blaming it all on you. - Yeah, I got that feeling.
- It's been so good for Irv to get outside,
have some activity, get some sunshine.
- [Irv] Think that's a belly,
and those are pants that are covering my butt.
- Oh, is that what it is?
(Irv laughs)
He's just a totally different person.
- [Irv] Hey, gotta keep Kano.
- [Pierre] This is where we met each other, Nigeria.
How about that one? Huh? - Yeah.
- [Cory] There's still some confusion.
We really want to get this settled
- Yeah.
with the bags of clothing that are to be donated.
- [Marjorie] Mm hmm.
I would 100% absolutely beg you.
Can we just take them all to a charity that can use them
and then we're not leaving 'em on your side yard?
- [Marjorie] No, because I have a good relationship.
These people have a business, literally two blocks away.
What they will do is pick up
whatever will go into a small car.
They will pick it up one day,
two days, three days, four days.
- [Dr. Tolin] There are needy people
that we could get this to right now
and get it outta your life.
- [Marjorie] Please no.
- [Irv] Everything doesn't have to go to the Afghanis.
- [Dr. Tolin] Marjorie, my concern is that
although you have a big heart
and you want to give to this charity,
I think you have chosen the most difficult charity
to donate to.
And for somebody in your position, you've got,
what's going to be 50 bags, 60 bags,
a hundred bags of clothing
that we can't just go a few at a time.
- [Marjorie] But it's my chance
to connect with people in my neighborhood.
- [Dr. Tolin] But can you give them maybe some of the stuff
and let the rest of it go elsewhere?
- [Marjorie] No, I want them to have all the usable clothes.
- [Dr. Tolin] Marjorie,
we can't have you storing all this stuff.
- [Marjorie] But that's my agreement with them.
I made an agreement with them.
- What's frustrating is there are charities everywhere
in and around this town that we can be taking
these clothing items to, she is just so stuck on this one.
It just doesn't make sense.
- [Dr. Tolin] Marjorie, if we do it your way,
- [Marjorie] Uh huh.
we're not gonna leave you in a good place.
I know that for sure.
- [Jan] We won't have your bedroom cleared
if we do it your way.
- [Cory] The problem is,
you told us your closets were pretty empty.
They are jam packed. - Okay.
- [Marjorie] No, I told you,
I thought that there was room to adjust,
but I can't be in two places at once-
- But Marjorie- - And no,
I'm not gonna delegate.
I will go in with Ceci and I will try to pick.
10% to keep, how's that?
- Again, saying that you've gotta be the one
to lay eyes on it. - [Cory] Yeah.
Can you trust Ceci? - No.
- [Dr. Tolin] Let Ceci lay eyes on it.
- If I haven't seen it in years,
how would I know if I can trust her?
- [Ceci] If you haven't seen it in years,
why do you need it?
- [Marjorie] I need to at least see what's there.
- [Dr. Tolin] Marjorie your way of doing things-
- [Marjorie] Honey, would you
like to keep these for the summer?
- [Irv] Nah, they've got goop on them.
- Right.
- [Dr. Tolin] Marjorie, why don't you just,
why don't you just give me the middle finger
instead of doing it verbally.
- No.
- [Dr. Tolin] Your way of doing things is-
- [Marjorie] I apologize if that's the way you feel.
- [Dr. Tolin] It is.
- [Marjorie] And I would never do that, intentionally.
- [Dr. Tolin] Marjorie, your way of doing things
has gotten us into this position.
- [Marjorie] Would you ask Irv if he would like that or not.
- Yeah. - Okay.
- Pierre, what do you think?
- [Pierre] I'm ready to give up myself, I just.
- [Irv] We can donate that.
- [Pierre] You've gotta get rid of it.
You just have to get rid of,
if you don't know you have it for two years
you don't need it, Marjorie.
- [Marjorie] Can you hear what Pierre's saying?
- [Pierre] If you haven't seen it in a year or two years,
you don't need it.
You haven't worn it,
you haven't been near it for at least that long.
Why do you want it?
You don't need.
- [Marjorie] I want to look at it, say goodbye.
How's that. - Say goodbye from here?
- I just want 10 minutes.
- [Pierre] She's got thousands of dollars standing here
and worry about a $5 item. - [Ceci] ...know when to fold.
- [Marjorie] If you don't stop quoting...
- that. - [Pierre] Quoting who?
- That!
- [Pierre] Well that's the thing,
keep your mind on it.
- Please, stop quoting that.
- [Dr. Tolin] I'm getting frustrated with the process
and I'm pretty sure Cory is too.
Marjorie is being argumentative, controlling,
domineering, and stubborn.
- [Marjorie] I am willing to pay for people
after they leave to help finish this journey.
- [Pierre] What a waste!
You've got everyone here you need right now.
You wouldn't have to pay for anything.
- It's my choice. - It is your choice.
Absolutely. - Thank you.
- [Pierre] I've told you that from day one.
- If you're too fatigued, please leave.
- At this point.
I'm kind of thinking we may need to shift strategies.
Maybe we need to be thinking about harm reduction,
which is, if we can't get you to change your behavior,
at least let us make the place safer for you.
(calm music)
(truck beeping)
- Good morning everybody. - [All] Morning.
- [Dr. Tolin] Good to see you again.
Jan is gonna be joining us a little bit later,
but I wanted to check in with you Marjorie and you Irv.
How did last night go and how you feeling this morning?
- [Irv] I'm feeling very good about it.
It was amazing to see all the floor space
when I walked in yesterday evening.
- [Cory] All right.
So Marjorie, how are you feeling
about how things look so far?
- Oh, I love it. - You do?
- [Marjorie] I'm so thankful. So appreciative.
It's like early Christmas times two or three.
- [Dr. Tolin] You know that good feeling
that you have in your bedroom.
- Uh huh.
- You can have that in your whole house, if you want.
- [Marjorie] I'm optimistic.
I just wanted house safe and clean.
- [Dr. Tolin] But there is a trade off there. Right?
Which is that, and I think that you saw that yesterday,
which is that if you can tolerate
a little bit of short term discomfort,
the long term payoffs are huge.
- I see...
And that's what I'm gonna be kind of reminding you of
as we go today. - I see that.
- [Cory] What's the goal.
What's the end goal before we leave
that you wanna see done inside your home.
- [Marjorie] You've cleared the hallway.
- [Cory] Mm hmm. - Wonderful.
Let's clear all the way to the front door.
- [Cory] Is that front living room included in that?
Because we're gonna do most of it anyway.
We're gonna leave you functional,
chairs, sofas, whatever we find in there.
I don't know what's under it,
but we'll leave you - [Marjorie] Functional...
a functional house.
- [Marjorie] Any functional tables, chairs, sofa,
please leave.
- [Cory] We're not gonna be sorting through
the minutia of stuff.
It's gonna go fast.
- [Marjorie] I do believe I understand at this point.
- [Cory] All right, we're gonna get started.
(items clattering)
- [man] That's right here.
- [man] Gentle.
(intense music)
- [Cory] All of your furniture has been kept.
- [Marjorie] But I even...
I used the word armoire in the living room.
- [Cory] The armoire is still there.
We didn't get rid of it.
- You were worried about things inside the armoire going
and that's what you wanted to check in with Cory about.
- Right. He's saying they're boxed up.
They're in the yard for you to peruse.
- [Cory] Anything valuable
or anything that looked like it wasn't just-
- [Marjorie] No, anything valuable is a relative term.
I honestly, at this point,
I want you to know that I don't give a damn
what my husband says.
- Okay, well, I have- - because he doesn't know
what's in there at all.
- What is in there? That's what I'm asking you.
What is there. - I believe
the white chest right inside the door
has probably a dozen valuable dishes and such.
Do I have those out there?
- [Cory] We saved a bunch of dishware, a bunch of things,
but we just literally cleaned that.
Are you talking about the mirrored drawers?
- Yeah. - We just cleaned that out.
I didn't see any valuable dishes.
- [Marjorie] There were absolutely
a dozen pieces of dishes that are mid-century that I wanted.
- Let's go and look. - This could be over.
Well, this could be over.
- [Cory] I'm sorry you feel that way.
But we did everything that we agreed to.
If you have a kitchen full of dishware that we can save
and we have saved quite a few other things,
but in that dresser that we just emptied
that you're talking about had chew up rat stuff everywhere.
- The white dresser? - Yep.
- [woman] Mm hmm.
- [Marjorie] I don't see how rat could get in.
- [Cory] Okay. A mouse.
Rodent stuff was absolutely in there.
- There was a dead rodent in there.
- [Marjorie] Rodent stuff wouldn't hurt a dish.
- Alright.
- Let's go see. - You can wash a dish, dear.
- [woman] Let's go see.
- Working with Marjorie just becomes frustrating
because all she does
is find the negative in every situation.
And I'm tired of it.
I'm tired of her spreading this negativity
to the whole crew.
- I don't give a rats ass - [Dr. Tolin] Mm hmm.
about what the living room looks like at all.
I just wanted a safe path to come and go.
And the middle cleared enough to sit in those two chairs.
- [Cory] Okay, but that we didn't discuss
a path this morning.
We discussed the whole downstairs this morning.
That's what we agreed to.
- [Marjorie] Okay, this has been broken more.
I said, there's stacked books.
We've given away so many books.
- [Irv] We have so many boxes out.
- [Marjorie] I wanted... why bother?
Why take up the time, I wanted the books to stay.
There was an armoire there that my memory is that
it had art supplies.
I don't know, I haven't seen it.
- [Irv] It was that wooden armoire
with the two doors there. - Uh huh.
Yeah, it was empty.
- [Marjorie] The white chest had some fifties dishes
and different things in it.
- Yeah, I understood - [Marjorie] See.
that there was nothing valuable in there.
There was not.
- [Marjorie] He's saying none of those dishes,
but I agreed to that.
I didn't think I agreed to all the contents of that.
I wanted it empty.
It was full of those lighters and all kinds of crap.
- [Cory] Mm hmm. And there were keys in it.
- [Cory] She has all the keys.
- [Marjorie] Well, you could have led with that.
We said...
- [Cory] You have not given me a chance
to lead with anything.
You come with an attack without even asking.
So I can't possibly give you an inventory
of every single thing in here.
I agree. - That's ridiculous.
I never asked for an inventory, sir.
- [Cory] No, but what you're saying is
I could have led with that.
How do I know what to lead with
when we just moved thousands of items?
How would I know what to lead with?
I told you anything important, we would save.
- [Marjorie] He's considering those intact dishes,
probably a dozen things in the mirror chest,
not broken, not broken.
He's considering that not important?
- [Cory] What I consider important is you two
and your safety.
- Okay. Okay.
- [Cory] Well, so in the big picture.
- [Marjorie] This is imperiling my health,
going through this every day.
I cannot take another 48 hours of this.
- [Dr. Tolin] But Marjorie,
I think that the mindset here
and maybe this is where I could challenge you a little bit
is that seems. - I'm done being challenged.
- [Dr. Tolin] Well...
I'm done being mentally challenged
because I'm feeling physical challenged.
- Okay.
Marjorie seems to be very into blaming other people
and taking on the role of a victim.
That from her perspective,
we're all doing something bad to her.
We're assaulting her, we're forcing her.
- [Marjorie] The things I'm gaining in health here,
I'm losing in health here.
- Yeah and I think that's part of the mindset here
is that it sounds like you - [Marjorie] Well.
feel like we're taking from you
and I don't think you see what were giving to you.
- [Marjorie] I feel like I'm being assaulted.
- [Dr. Tolin] Yeah.
And I feel like my psyche, - [Dr. Tolin] Right.
my heart is being assaulted. - [Dr. Tolin] Can you recognize-
- [Dr. Tolin] Can you recognize that
that's your particular perspective
- [Marjorie] Yes. - that it may not be accurate.
You're not being victimized here, Marjorie.
She doesn't recognize A, that she called us,
B, that we're trying to follow her instructions
and C, that we're doing this to try to help her.
(intense music)
- [Marjorie] The washers and dryer are right here.
I swear. - Where?
- Let me see if I can find the top.
Okay. I'm tapping, I'm tapping the washer, dryer
with what I can reach. - All right. Let me see.
And I believe right behind it is the island
and straight back is the refrigerator.
- [Abigail] So when you say that's accessible,
I'm not seeing that as being accessible.
- [Cory] This is hours of work.
- [Marjorie] No, no, no, no, no.
If accessible means that these things
could quickly be shifted.
- It can't. - Okay.
- [Cory] This isn't quickly.
- [Abigail] Do you realize
that we're gonna have to move all of this?
- Yes, that's what I said. - And where's it going?
- [Marjorie] It's a couple feet in.
It's going out here temporarily, you get the damn washer.
- No. - Okay.
- No, I'm not gonna do that.
Marjorie has her own list of what she wants us to do.
And none of it really has to do with cleaning the house.
She wants us to move furniture around,
disconnect washing machines,
but then we go and look in the garage and it is full.
And she wants us to just magically climb over
and pull one thing out.
We can't do it, we have to move all this out.
And she says, if we do, we gotta put it all back in.
This is craziness.
- [Irv] What are we doing now?
- [Marjorie] I'm saying, thank you.
And I will hire somebody to do that.
- Okay. - Thank you.
- Yep. - And that's it.
Thank you.
- You know, Marjorie sometimes when you say thank you,
I think you mean something else.
I think you got the second word right.
(all laugh)
- I did not mean that.
I did mean to be sarcastic. - Yes I think so.
- [Marjorie] But I didn't...
No, I didn't mean to be mean and vulgar.
- [Dr. Tolin] It's coming through, it's coming through.
I'm picking up on.
- Well, I think you're insecure.
- [Dr. Tolin] Okay. Marjorie...
- [Marjorie] Guys, step up with the big boys, okay.
- I don't think Marjorie's a bad person,
but I think that she's manipulative.
And I think that she's controlling.
And I think when she doesn't get what she wants,
she lashes out.
- And behind this gentleman is a stainless steel bowl
that I use as a mixing bowl.
- [Cory] You have so many bowls.
- [Marjorie] I don't care.
- Do you want to look at all the boxes
of safe stuff you have before you pick again
on the one or two things that are in here?
- [Marjorie] Yeah go look.
I just want the bowl,
I've I have taken salad in that to so many means.
- [Jan] Point out the bowl
and then we'll move on to something else. Okay.
- Stainless steel, see it. Large bowl.
- I see it. - Yep.
- [Cory] I see it.
I see a lot of stuff in there
that you could probably find a use for.
- [Jan] You take salads in that really?
- It just got dirty. - No, it's a dog dish.
- [Marjorie] It's a dog dish
that's never been used for a dog.
- [Jan] Okay, well.
This is the shipping paper.
- [Jan] Mm so that's how often you use it.
That it still has shipping paper.
- You have shipping paper in it.
- [Marjorie] Oh goodness. - [Jan] Oh well.
- [Pierre] Majorie... It is, it was like wax paper.
- [Cory] We're fighting a losing battle.
- [Marjorie] Thank you.
And we're just literally upsetting you
and us to be honest. - Thank you.
- Given how much stuff there is
the fact that she has to see everything
and touch everything and okay everything
is not going to aid any process at all.
It's gonna be detrimental to any progress
that we try to make.
- [Marjorie] Is there some reason
that somebody set a container with weeds
up here by my house?
- [Cory] You said save all pots, save all the stuff.
So we brought all the pots.
That's why that's there.
We did what you asked.
- With those actions.
I can't see how we can have a successful clean out.
(intense music)
- [Marjorie] Are they throwing away
like brand new napkins and stuff?
Paper Napkins. - It depends
if there's hundreds of them.
It's not abnormal to have some,
but we can't keep everything if it's in excess,
it just goes back to the same thing.
I can't clean your house if we leave too much stuff too,
that's kind of what we're caught.
- [Marjorie] Okay.
So we're gonna keep a normal amount of stuff
like every functional house has, is that okay?
- No, it's not.
because your definition of normal is not mine.
- [Dr. Tolin] Marjorie, I just want to jump in
because you're talking about how your definition of normal
is not the same as Cory's definition of normal.
- [Marjorie] Mm hmm.
And I just wanna point out, - Excuse me.
- that your definition of normal
is kind of what created the problem.
It's not the solution.
I don't think you can hoard your way out of this problem.
I think we all want to make sure you have a healthy supply
of all the things that you need
but we don't want you to have so much
that it clutters up the home.
That's that's the dilemma that we face.
- To the right of my sink was the upholstery brush.
Do they have it, you think?
- [Abigail] No, they believe it was thrown out.
- Okay, see,
- because there was a bone next to it.
- [Marjorie] That's a $20 replacement,
electric appliance things and attachments.
- [Cory] Right, but if I see an attachment
that's literally 20 years old to a vacuum
that I don't see anywhere in the area.
- [Marjorie] Look, it's not 20 years old, darling.
- [Cory] I bet it is.
- [Marjorie] I have to have a vacuum brush.
I've already replaced it.
And she and I were just gonna try to use it but...
- [Cory] Marjorie, I still wish you could see
something positive about all this.
I want you to know I'm following the rules
and I'm trying my best. Why do you...
- But you're following the rules,
but there obviously is literally,
literally no common sense
or association that this is a brush
that goes to an electronic device.
- [Cory] I disagree.
I think we're using as much common sense as we can
with the parameters that we have.
And that is a hoarded house full of-
- Okay I don't want- - Listen.
If you want me to listen, you have to listen to me.
- I apologize.
- I'm tired of you being negative
and blame us for every little negative thing.
You're very negative.
We are trying our best to give you a safe
and functional home that you don't burn up in.
That you can go to surgery,
you can have home health home care.
When does that sink in?
Why do you just pick every little thing
that you can to find
that's a negative and not see the bigger picture.
- I paid a lot of money? - I don't care.
How much is your husband worth?
- Because it's a safe- - I don't care.
I honestly don't care.
- Allergy free bag. - I don't care.
- And now you've thrown away the brush that I need.
- [Cory] I care about you and I care about Irv.
I don't care about a vacuum attachment
that was buried in your kitchen,
that you haven't used in years.
How could have you.
You couldn't even gotten to it.
- [Marjorie] It was there on my kitchen counter
where I used- - Along with everything else.
- I used it to get cobwebs. - Okay, well,
I don't know what to tell you,
but I'm not gonna worry about a vacuum piece.
- Okay, okay. - I'm really not.
It's a lot bigger things to worry about.
- Of course. - Like not spilled water.
Those are the things you're picking on,
- [Marjorie] On my hardwood floors.
- [Cory] Oh my God, seriously,
your hardwood floors that are thrashed
from all the stuff that you have all over it.
Are you really gonna say that your hardwood floor
is so nice - Water is more harmful
than scratches, water expands wood sweetheart.
That's why the water - I'm well aware.
I'm well aware, but the condition of your house
is not one where I really see you worried
about the condition of your hardwood floors.
I see you picking on us for things deflecting
from the real situation. - Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Good luck.
(intense music)
- Keep.
(intense music)
- Good morning, everyone. - [All] Morning.
- [Cory] We made it to the final day.
- Woo. - Which at times
I thought wasn't gonna have happen.
- Woo. - So, but we're here.
I have some concerns moving forward
and leaving the home like it is.
We've kind of stopped and started in different areas.
And I don't want to leave a situation
worse than when we came.
So here's the items that I would like to get to today
and then we can get your feedback.
- [Marjorie] Okay.
The backyard I think we have to straighten up,
the sorting area and just kind of the hodgepodge stuff
we left back there, okay.
I would love to finish the family room.
It's totally up to you, if we do.
- [Marjorie] We were in the family room together last night.
- Nice. - And we talked
and I have to tell you I appreciate
some of the things you've set aside in there
so much, but we're gonna say no to that.
We're simply not ready for that.
- [Cory] Can you sit in the front yard
as we un-bury the washing machine
and with realistic thoughts,
expectations of things say that really can go.
I don't need it back in my garage.
I haven't used it. I'm not gonna use it.
Can we try that?
- [Marjorie] What does can go mean?
- [Marjorie] Can it... - [Cory] It depends on the item,
I'm trying to compromise so we can
get you a functioning washer.
- [Marjorie] I can do that. How's that?
- [Cory] But will you do me a favor?
I don't want a hundred percent donation.
I want you to challenge yourself,
and when something is - [Marjorie] No.
absolutely not usable.
- I will try to be realistic. I promise.
- Okay. Is that a good compromise?
- Yes.
- [Cory] We can get started on the backyard with Pierre.
- [Marjorie] Yes.
- [Cory] You guys can start boxing up the laundry room.
- [Marjorie] Well, well...
We start out here.
(upbeat music) (man exclaims)
- [Marjorie] This goes in our bedroom.
This can go in the bedroom.
I gotta have some kind of Chest of drawer.
This could go somewhere where the triple dresser was.
- [Cory] Is that going in? - Yeah.
You know where the armoire was?
- Okay. - Put it there.
Put the big white thing in the left corner
where the boxes of books were, to the left of the window.
- Okay.
Everything else goes back, Cory.
- [Cory] Okay, so everything else is going in that room,
just wherever we can fit it.
- [Marjorie] Yes, in the best way, leave us a clear path.
- [Cory] Do you need all this? Are you gonna use it?
Is it necessary? - I'm sorry.
You asked me what goes back.
Yes, please. - Okay,
I just wanna make sure. - Thank you.
- [Cory] It's definitely not gonna look...right.
- [Marjorie] Thank you.
- [Cory] Okey doke.
Put this in the bedroom also.
- [Cory] We have a lot of stuff,
furniture already in your bedroom.
- [Marjorie] Put this in the bedroom also, please.
It'll go with that.
- [Dr. Tolin] Marjorie,
Do you think you might be better off if you had less?
I see you turning your back on me, Marjorie.
- [Marjorie] I am not sending anything else your way,
but thank you very much for your comment.
- [Dr. Tolin] Marjorie. - Yes, please.
- Do you mean to disrespect me right now?
Are you trying to, - [Marjorie] No.
or is that just happening naturally?
- No, but if you keep challenging me,
we won't get done.
- [Dr. Tolin] Well, but I'm challenging you
to think about whether maybe you need less stuff
than you currently have.
- [Marjorie] Of course I do. But not today.
Thank you. Not today sir.
- [Dr. Tolin] Why not today?
You've, you've got the personnel, and the trucks here.
- [Marjorie] Not today sir. Sorry.
- [Dr. Tolin] Help me understand your thinking.
Why? Why not today?
- [Marjorie] I have to contact people
and have them come pick it up.
Okay, I'm pretty sure we could get it outta here, right?
I mean, if we need to.
- [Marjorie] But people aren't at my beck and call, sir.
- Taking it to another charity
that we have the capability to take it to
is off the table completely.
They said they'd take it from us today.
- [Marjorie] Yes, it is.
Thank you. No.
- [Cory] Are you ready to tackle the garage
so we can get to your washing machine?
- Yes, sir. Right here.
- We agreed that you would try to challenge yourself
a little bit, right? - Absolutely.
- [Cory] You'd try to challenge yourself.
- Absolutely. - Okay.
What can go in here? That you can see.
- [Marjorie] I don't see anything yet.
- [Cory] See nothing that can go in here.
- [Marjorie] I see no trash.
- [Cory] How do you see no trash?
Do you think this is keep?
Do you need to touch it and feel it to think that this is.
- [Marjorie] I need to identify what it,
of course that's trash, it's empty box.
That that's what I want you to see.
- [Marjorie] I can't see it, sir.
I'm not standing up there. - Hey, you wanna stand up?
- If it's, how about this?
If you see an empty box - No.
it's trash.
- No, I want you to identify trash.
That's what this whole exercises is about.
We said we were gonna challenge your normal way of thinking,
but I that's the agreement.
- I have to see it first. - Where do you get this stuff?
Where does it all come from?
- [Marjorie] I have not shopped in years.
- [Cory] So this is from years ago?
- [Marjorie] I have not shopped here in years.
- [Cory] That's what I'm asking, is it from years ago?
- [Marjorie] I will not shop hardly ever again.
- [Cory] You shopped for this years ago,
you just said, right?
- [Marjorie] Yes, I acquired it years ago.
- [Cory] So are you really gonna need any of it
if you haven't needed it in years?
- [Marjorie] Yes, because now you've given me space
to organize myself better.
And some of these things here are better
than what I have inside or better size or something.
- [Cory] How is this better than something that you have?
- [Marjorie] I have been...
It's been out in your garage for years,
how is it better than - [Marjorie] It is...
all the linens we've saved for you?
- [Marjorie] Because an old cotton
is better than anything new made in China
that you'll buy today, so I'll take old.
- [Cory] Marjorie, we have 15 minutes, okay.
- Okay, let's just stop.
- Stop? - You're...not
- Right.
I'm sorry, you're asking too much.
- [Dr. Tolin] Remember health over stuff, right?
I mean, you have too much stuff.
That means you have to let go of a lot of it.
- [Marjorie] You need to recognize
that you're pushing me to my last limit.
- [Dr. Tolin] No, I think-
- [Marjorie] You're pushing me to my last physical limit.
- [Dr. Tolin] Yeah.
I'm very uncomfortable right now.
If you won't set this aside and get that washer out,
just set these things anywhere and stack 'em back in there.
It won't get done, I guess.
- [Cory] I agree because that's-
- And I can live with that, but that's honestly,
I cannot discuss it anymore.
I'm not gonna sit here
and have four people asking me to comply.
I am not going to do it.
- [Dr. Tolin] This is not about you bending to our will,
Marjorie, we're not trying to control you.
- [Marjorie] I can't do it.
- [Dr. Tolin] You can't get back to that
washing machine in 15 minutes.
- [Marjorie] Not the way you're you're doing it.
I can't do it.
- Dr. Tolan, myself, Irv and Marjorie's friends.
We've tried every trick in the book to break through to her,
but nothing is getting through
and I don't think it's going to, at this point.
(upbeat music)
- [Marjorie] Donate.
- [Cory] Are you gonna make quick decisions now?
- [Marjorie] Donate.
If I can't see it, I can't make a decision.
- Let's put it in, she says, donate.
Put it in. - Can't make a decision.
How about all this?
What do you want me to do with this?
- Let's keep, right back there.
Right back there.
Just sit it sort of, good job.
This is keep and toss right in the middle.
It's soft right in the middle, soft.
- [Dr. Tolin] So we're just moving stuff
from one place to another. - Essentially.
- Yep.
We're kind of churning the stuff.
as oppose to getting rid of stuff, yeah.
- [Marjorie] I know the term churning.
for today it's churning and I'm sorry.
- I'm really finding it frustrating
that we are just essentially acquiescing to
whatever Marjorie says she wants to have happen.
Which is not particularly healthy for her.
- [Marjorie] I believe easily,
easily 30 or 40% of this will go to charity.
I just have to figure out which ones
have 'em come and pick it up.
- [Dr. Tolin] As you know,
I'm worried about the follow through, but what can you do?
- Okay.
I mean, it's ultimately your stuff.
It's your decision.
(upbeat music)
- Beautiful. - Whoa.
- [Marjorie] Beautiful.
Wow and spacious.
- [Jan] You can see the windows and the walls.
- Well, it was a little bit of a puzzle,
fitting all your pieces in here, - Wow.
making it still functional,
but oh, - You guys did a great job.
- [Cory] The most important thing
I think is you have a place to sit together,
not in your bed. - Yes, right.
I'm feeling really good about the progress that we made.
The people have accomplished way more than I thought
could be done in the amount of time we had.
I am so very happy.
- [Cory] We couldn't have taken things away
without you guys accepting it,
giving up a little bit of control throughout the week.
I say little. (Marjorie and Irv laugh)
- [Dr. Tolin] And I think Cory and his crew
have really tried to prioritize safety.
And that's the really important thing because it's,
can be hard for you and for Irv to get around,
especially after you have your hip surgery.
And I know they wanted to make sure
that you could walk through easily with a walker
- [Marjorie] Mm hmm. and not hurt yourself.
- [Irv] Yeah. I bet your friends are happy
that they don't have to worry about you as much now.
- [Jan] Well, the first time I came in here,
I was really sad and concerned because I know both of 'em
had a hard time getting around and I don't feel that danger,
that anxiety that I felt coming in
and feeling really closed with only this much room.
- Yeah.
So I'm very grateful and surprised and pleased, excited.
- [Ceci] I think in working through this exercise,
I've certainly learned a lot about how to work with Marjorie
and things that we can do
to keep her life on a forward path.
I'm just thinking positive. I'm really excited.
- [Dr. Tolin] Pierre, you've been worried about Irv.
What are you thinking now?
- Mr. Marshall, Irv's my brother.
- [Pierre] I love him.
- [Irv] And Pierre knows better than anybody
- I love him. And you've taken care of him.
- How nice for so much had been and how bad it got.
- Yeah. - [Irv] And...
- [Pierre] And what it can get back to
- [Irv] And what it can get back to.
And he pushed a lot to make that happen.
- He did
- I'm so thankful for you people.
It's been so long that my friend has lived
in this situation and to see him come out of the shell,
he's been in. Looking forward to his life.
And that's just so great to see.
- [Cory] Well, this is just the beginning
and I hope you guys are ready to see more clean house.
- Let's see it. - Yes.
- [Irv] Oh, look at those lamps.
- Love it. - I love these lamps.
- [Dr. Tolin] This is the room Marjorie and Irv,
where you had been spending most of your time,
I think, right? - Yep.
- [Dr. Tolin] Most of your existence
was kind of on this bed
and you couldn't even really get around the room.
How's it feel now to see it a little bit clearer?
- [Irv] It's almost too much to believe,
it's clear there behind you.
I can actually see myself maybe going out there
and sitting in the sun.
- Mm hmm. - Nice.
- [Irv] That I wouldn't consider doing before.
Mostly we're going to be safe.
- [Dr. Tolin] Yes, that's what's critical.
- I'm so thankful that I have a safe environment
to recuperate from my surgery
and I'm not sure the health challenges
my husband will be facing in the next few months or years,
but we've got such a good foundation
to be safe going forward.
- [Cory] So what do you guys think?
This is a pretty drastic change.
I mean, this kitchen was pretty much unusable.
You couldn't really cook and do much in here before.
- [Marjorie] You made it so much easier and safer.
I simply wouldn't cook if I didn't have the energy
to move things a bit. - Right.
But we just weren't eating as well as we should.
And that's what you've opened up is all those possibilities.
I mean, there's no words to express how important that is.
Well we've got a clear path to the door,
just about, huh? - That's a start.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- It is a start.
- [Cory] Clearly we didn't get to complete this room.
- [Marjorie] Mm hmm. The upstairs is left.
The rest of this room, you know, needs a good cleaning.
So I would've loved to have done it all.
But again, I think with the amount of pressure
that we put on you and what you were able to do,
let's just celebrate that victory.
- [Marjorie] Thank you, thank you.
- (all) Yeah. - Thank you, thank you.
(truck beeping)
- [Cory] At the end of this cleanup,
we got rid of a total of three dumpsters
totaling about 12 tons.
Even with the struggles we have with Marjorie
and not getting the entire home clean,
we were will to address the crisis,
which was having a functional bedroom,
kitchen, bathroom, and dining room.
I still feel good about that.
You know, part of the aftercare
can continue to work on this stuff.
- [Dr. Tolin] I think Marjorie,
it's gonna be important to do aftercare on two fronts.
I mean, I think you and your friends
and your husband need to keep working on this stuff,
but I also think it's important
for you to kind of work on yourself.
And so I'd really like you to work with a psychologist
and I found a good one for you
who can do teletherapy with you
while you're recovering from your hip surgery.
And I'd really like you to keep that appointment and do it.
- I intend to. - Good.
Good. I hope so.
And I think you'll be happy with the results
if you really stay with that.
- [Marjorie] Okay.
(calm music)
- [Dr. Tolin] If I were to come back to Marjorie's house
and she has followed through with the aftercare
and her friends are sticking to the plan,
I think that we'll see continued improvement.
Marjorie seems committed to it
and I'm hopeful that she means it.
- [Cory] So the doctor and I are gonna leave,
head home, but good luck with everything.
And please continue to do what you're doing.
Best of luck.
- (both) Thank you.
- Thank you.
(calm music)