1 00:00:04,422 --> 00:00:06,256 ("MY LOVIN"' BY EN VOGUE PLAYING ON THE RADIO) 2 00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:18,328 MAN: (ON RADIO) And now, it's time for a breakdown. 3 00:01:18,496 --> 00:01:20,247 (MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) 4 00:01:20,665 --> 00:01:22,582 (BOB SINGING "MY LOVIN"' BY EN VOGUE) 5 00:01:39,684 --> 00:01:41,810 Mmm, mmm, mmm, yeah- 6 00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:45,063 Man, I told you Robbie Wheirdicht showers here during first period. 7 00:01:45,231 --> 00:01:47,941 Why doesn't he just shower at home like a normal person? 8 00:01:48,526 --> 00:01:50,026 Look at him. 9 00:01:50,194 --> 00:01:52,028 Does anything about that look normal to you? 10 00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:56,449 You know, he's actually a pretty good dancer. 11 00:01:57,201 --> 00:01:58,451 (BOB CONTINUES SINGING) 12 00:01:59,245 --> 00:02:01,371 I mean, fuck that guy is different! 13 00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:05,375 Let's wreck him. 14 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:07,877 - TREVOR: Hey, Weird Dick! - (ALL LAUGH) 15 00:02:08,212 --> 00:02:09,212 Come on. 16 00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:11,798 Finally, young ladies and young gentlemen, 17 00:02:11,966 --> 00:02:15,844 it is my pleasure to announce that the winner 18 00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:19,139 of the National High School Student of the Year Award 19 00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:20,807 is none other than your very own 20 00:02:20,975 --> 00:02:22,851 two-time student body president, 21 00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:26,479 the captain of Central High's All Valley track team, 22 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,148 president of the drama club 23 00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:31,776 and the senior voted "Most Likely to Succeed. " 24 00:02:31,986 --> 00:02:34,487 I gotta tell you folks, after 40 years as an educator, 25 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,489 he is my favorite student. 26 00:02:37,158 --> 00:02:38,366 I wish he were my son 27 00:02:38,534 --> 00:02:40,660 if I were medically able to have children. 28 00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:41,828 (AUDIENCE CHUCKLES) 29 00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:45,290 He's everybody's favorite all-around guy... 30 00:02:45,458 --> 00:02:47,333 Calvin "The Golden Jet" Joyner! Come on! 31 00:02:47,543 --> 00:02:49,043 (ALL CHEERING) 32 00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:51,796 (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 33 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,259 ("UNBELIEVABLE" BY EMF PLAYING) 34 00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,310 (CHEERING CONTINUES) 35 00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:12,525 ALL: (CHANTING) Golden Jet! Golden Jet! Golden Jet! 36 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:14,694 Oh, my goodness. 37 00:03:15,154 --> 00:03:17,530 Wow! Wow, guys. 38 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:20,492 Hey! How about a hand for Principal Kent, huh? 39 00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:21,659 Huh? 40 00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:24,704 Honestly, if my mom was into white guys, it would be you. 41 00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:25,872 I know it would, okay? 42 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,540 (ALL LAUGH) 43 00:03:28,501 --> 00:03:31,503 Well, as we all know, this is our last assembly, 44 00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:34,756 which means this is the last time in front of you guys 45 00:03:34,924 --> 00:03:37,300 that I'll be able to tell the most beautiful girl in the world... 46 00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:39,886 I'm talking about you, Maggie Johnson, 47 00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:43,556 that I love you. I love you, baby. I do. 48 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,558 I'm gonna put it in my pocket. 49 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:47,310 - (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) - I'll save it. 50 00:03:47,478 --> 00:03:48,478 Okay. 51 00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:52,065 All right, guys. We're seniors now. 52 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,859 And once we get those diplomas, 53 00:03:55,027 --> 00:03:57,987 the decisions that we make after that are all up to us. 54 00:03:58,531 --> 00:04:00,907 I don't know what path life is gonna take me on. 55 00:04:01,075 --> 00:04:02,617 But I can promise you all this... 56 00:04:02,785 --> 00:04:04,452 That I, for one, will push myself 57 00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:06,496 at every stage, at every step. 58 00:04:06,664 --> 00:04:09,165 So, I got one question to ask. 59 00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:12,752 I got one question for the graduating class of 1996 60 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,212 and that's "Will you... " 61 00:04:15,256 --> 00:04:16,965 (SHOUTS) Check out my Weird Dick! 62 00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:19,175 (BOYS GROAN) 63 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:22,262 (SQUEAKING) 64 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:23,763 (ALL GASPING) 65 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,808 (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) 66 00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:44,284 Hey. Here, here, man. 67 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:46,870 (SOFTLY) Thank you. 68 00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:48,037 (LAUGHTER CONTINUES) 69 00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:57,297 - (LOCK RATTLES) - (LAUGHTER INTENSIFIES) 70 00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:05,972 Well, there's no coming back from that. 71 00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:08,975 Calvin Joyner, everybody, 72 00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:11,853 voted "Most Likely to Succeed. " 73 00:05:12,021 --> 00:05:15,648 ALL: (CHANTING) Golden Jet! Golden Jet! Golden Jet! 74 00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:20,320 ("JUMPMAN" BY DRAKE & FUTURE PLAYING) 75 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:51,184 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 76 00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:54,646 (PHONE RINGING) 77 00:06:05,741 --> 00:06:07,283 Yo. Check it. 78 00:06:07,785 --> 00:06:09,285 Oh, come on, man. I don't want to see that. 79 00:06:09,453 --> 00:06:10,453 Oh, no, no, it's my dick. 80 00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:12,288 I know what it is. I don't want to see it. 81 00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:13,581 (LAUGHS) Hilarious. 82 00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:15,249 No, I'm working on this new sexting app. 83 00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:16,459 It's kind of like Instagram, right? 84 00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:17,752 But, instead of filters, 85 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:19,253 it just makes your junk look huge. 86 00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:21,339 Like, three to six inches bigger. 87 00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:24,092 It's called "Junk Mail." Clever, right? 88 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,302 - No, and here's why- - Sorry, hang on, one second. 89 00:06:26,637 --> 00:06:28,054 I'm just gonna... 90 00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:29,847 What are you doing? 91 00:06:30,099 --> 00:06:31,641 (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING) 92 00:06:33,686 --> 00:06:36,521 Okay, and send. 93 00:06:36,981 --> 00:06:38,439 Sorry, you were saying something boring. 94 00:06:38,774 --> 00:06:39,983 You just sent a dick pic. 95 00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:41,734 It's called dating, grandma. Look it up. 96 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,987 Why are you all cranky-pants this morning, huh? 97 00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:46,614 Oh. It's because Ethan got promoted instead of you? 98 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:48,866 Ethan got promoted? 99 00:06:49,118 --> 00:06:51,244 (SIGHS) Youngest senior associate in the history of the firm. 100 00:06:51,412 --> 00:06:52,996 Corner office, the whole deal. 101 00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:54,330 Didn't he used to be your assistant? 102 00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:57,959 Who cares? Hey, you should come to lunch with us. 103 00:06:58,127 --> 00:06:59,544 We're gonna be celebrating his pro-mosh! 104 00:06:59,712 --> 00:07:01,671 It'll probably be good for you to kiss the ring a bit. 105 00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:03,631 "Kiss the ring a bit"? 106 00:07:03,799 --> 00:07:05,842 Hey, you play your chessboard however you like, okay? 107 00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:09,345 Me, lunch today? I'm gonna French kiss that thing. 108 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:10,847 Aah... 109 00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:14,267 I can't. I'm taking my wife to lunch today, so... 110 00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:15,727 All right. Bummer for you. 111 00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:18,104 (SINGING) 112 00:07:20,024 --> 00:07:21,065 Right? 113 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:22,817 (GRUNTS) 114 00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:25,111 Can you just get out of my face? 115 00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:26,779 #Blessed. 116 00:07:30,242 --> 00:07:31,701 (LAUGHTER) 117 00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,289 (MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) 118 00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:37,665 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 119 00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:40,334 To a guy I not only consider my coworker, 120 00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:41,878 but my personal friend. 121 00:07:42,171 --> 00:07:44,047 - To Ethan! - Cheers! 122 00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:45,631 (ALL CHEERING) 123 00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:48,468 Do you wanna move tables? I know this kind of sucks. 124 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,344 No, no. It doesn't suck. 125 00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:51,846 Hey, if I wanted to get one of those ice teas 126 00:07:52,014 --> 00:07:53,931 but I want most of it to be bourbon- What is that called? 127 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:57,894 Okay. How about we change the topic to something a little more fun? 128 00:07:58,228 --> 00:07:59,812 Anything else, please. 129 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,147 Oh, how about... 130 00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:03,399 This is the dress that I'm thinking about wearing. 131 00:08:04,193 --> 00:08:05,193 CALVIN: Oh! 132 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,444 Honey, I want every single girl 133 00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:08,112 to be jealous tomorrow night. 134 00:08:08,614 --> 00:08:09,655 Oh. 135 00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:10,948 What? 136 00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:12,450 I just... I just don't want to go. 137 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,577 Calvin, it's our 20-year high school reunion. 138 00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:15,912 I'm not gonna go without you. 139 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,206 We agreed we were going. I RSVP'd for us. 140 00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:21,000 I just changed my mind. That's all. 141 00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:22,502 Okay. I see. 142 00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:25,088 You're disappointed about the promotion. I get it. 143 00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:27,256 This is not about the promotion. 144 00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:30,051 Okay, this has to do with me not wanting to spend my Friday night 145 00:08:30,219 --> 00:08:31,886 answering the "What are you doing now?" question. 146 00:08:32,054 --> 00:08:33,096 That's what I'll get all night. 147 00:08:33,305 --> 00:08:35,056 "Hey, Calvin, what are you doing now?" "I'm an accountant. " 148 00:08:35,224 --> 00:08:36,307 "An accountant? Really? 149 00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:37,850 "I thought you would be the governor, man. 150 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,394 "Wait a minute. Didn't you get voted 'Most Likely to Succeed'? 151 00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:41,938 "I guess we missed that one. " 152 00:08:42,106 --> 00:08:43,439 Is this why you've been so weird and moody lately? 153 00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:44,941 'Cause you're freaking out about the reunion? 154 00:08:45,109 --> 00:08:46,150 - No. - And what's the matter 155 00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:47,860 with being an accountant? You love your job. 156 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,529 No, you love your job. 157 00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,239 I'm good at my job. It's not the same thing. 158 00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:52,406 Honey, that's not fair. 159 00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:54,200 You're a partner at your firm. 160 00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:56,619 Instead, I work in a building with a giant, 161 00:08:56,787 --> 00:08:58,246 inflatable gorilla out in front of it. 162 00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:00,206 Look, I don't want to be the guy that peaked in high school 163 00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:02,333 and, after he peaked, his life went like this... 164 00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:04,335 (IMITATES CRASH) 165 00:09:05,087 --> 00:09:06,629 I don't know the sound that that thing makes, 166 00:09:06,839 --> 00:09:07,839 but you know what I'm trying to do. 167 00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:09,173 I'm the guy that went down, okay? 168 00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:10,383 - Yeah. - Then my life 169 00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:11,843 down here became a disappointment. 170 00:09:12,094 --> 00:09:13,261 That's what I'll be. 171 00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:14,428 (SOFTLY) Wow. 172 00:09:15,514 --> 00:09:16,514 What? 173 00:09:16,682 --> 00:09:17,932 I had no idea that your life with me 174 00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:20,560 was such a soundless, crashing disappointment! 175 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,353 - Don't do that. - (IMITATES CRASH) 176 00:09:22,521 --> 00:09:24,438 - That's not- Don't do that. - That's the sound. 177 00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:26,107 You want to know the sound I'm about to make right now? 178 00:09:26,275 --> 00:09:27,358 The sound of me not going. 179 00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:28,901 That's the sound I'm making. 180 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:31,237 I'm not going. 181 00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:35,241 Yeah. 182 00:09:44,168 --> 00:09:45,877 Mmm-mmm-mmm. 183 00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,050 No. 184 00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:56,179 Not going to that. 185 00:09:56,722 --> 00:09:57,847 (COMPUTER CHIMES) 186 00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:05,271 Bob Stone? 187 00:10:15,657 --> 00:10:16,782 Okay. 188 00:10:17,993 --> 00:10:18,993 (PHONE RINGING) 189 00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:23,706 (RINGING CONTINUES) 190 00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:28,252 Hello? 191 00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:30,796 - Hey. - Girl, you scared me. 192 00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:33,591 - I did? - Yes. I thought that you were... 193 00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:36,636 I just- On the... 194 00:10:37,221 --> 00:10:39,972 Never mind. Hey, I'm glad you called. 195 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,391 I'm sorry about lunch today. 196 00:10:43,185 --> 00:10:44,227 I'm an idiot, babe. 197 00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:46,020 I don't even know what's going on with me right now. 198 00:10:46,188 --> 00:10:47,730 - I really don't. - Yeah? 199 00:10:47,898 --> 00:10:49,899 Actually, honey, 200 00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:51,859 that's what I was calling to talk to you about. 201 00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:55,529 Look, honey, I think that we should see someone. 202 00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:59,575 What do you mean, "Someone"? What do you mean? 203 00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:01,827 See someone, like a therapist. 204 00:11:02,204 --> 00:11:04,330 Honey, black people don't go to therapy. 205 00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,540 We go to barbershops. 206 00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:08,251 That's where we talk out our problems. 207 00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:10,711 Or we watch the movie Barbershop. One or the other. 208 00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:12,421 Look, my parents were really unhappy 209 00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:14,507 for a long time before they got divorced. 210 00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:18,177 And maybe if they saw someone sooner, they would still be married. 211 00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:21,097 I just want to nip this thing in the bud, whatever it is. 212 00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:22,598 I don't want to end up like my parents. 213 00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:25,518 Wassup? 214 00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:27,103 Wassup? 215 00:11:33,652 --> 00:11:35,820 MAGGIE: Please, just do it for me, if not for you. 216 00:11:36,947 --> 00:11:38,114 CALVIN: All right. Uh... 217 00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:41,909 - When? When do you want to do it? - MAGGIE: Really? 218 00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:44,245 The doctor said he could see us at 6:00 p.m. 219 00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:47,290 Um... 6:00 p.m., when? Tonight? 220 00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,292 Yeah. Yeah, is that a problem? 221 00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:53,379 Holy shit! Robbie Wheirdicht? 222 00:11:54,172 --> 00:11:56,882 Calvin, honey? Hello? 223 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,467 Um, yeah. 224 00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:01,554 I can't. I already made plans for tonight, baby. 225 00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,973 - MAGGIE: Plans with who? - With Bob Stone. 226 00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:06,142 Who's Bob Stone? That sounds like a fake name. 227 00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:09,645 No, no. You remember Robbie Wheirdicht, from high school? 228 00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:10,813 No. 229 00:12:10,981 --> 00:12:12,815 The guy who got beaten up by Trisha Demarco at homecoming? 230 00:12:13,025 --> 00:12:14,066 No. 231 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,569 The kid that tried to rap along to Coolio's 1,2,3,4 at the talent show 232 00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:18,321 but then he kinda lost his way, midway through 233 00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:20,114 so he just started bopping his head, and he stood there? 234 00:12:20,282 --> 00:12:21,782 No. Nothing. 235 00:12:21,992 --> 00:12:24,160 The guy who got thrown out the gym, butt-ass-naked, senior year? 236 00:12:24,328 --> 00:12:25,328 Oh, my God, yeah! 237 00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:27,121 Why wouldn't you start with that? 238 00:12:27,331 --> 00:12:28,873 Because I thought that was kind of mean. I don't know. 239 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,583 He never came back to school after that, right? 240 00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,960 Like, not for finals or graduation or anything. 241 00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:35,004 Didn't he join the military or something? 242 00:12:35,172 --> 00:12:37,089 I'm not sure. I don't know if he did or not, 243 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,592 but he changed his name to "Bob Stone" 244 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,844 and apparently he's in town for the high school reunion. 245 00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:44,055 He wants to go to dinner tonight, and I kinda already said "yes. " 246 00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:45,222 - Okay. - If you want me to cancel, 247 00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:46,849 I will. You know? 248 00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:48,351 If that's what you want, I don't mind. 249 00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:51,145 Mmm-mmm. I mean, it's a little weird, but whatever. 250 00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:53,689 I'll just see if the doctor can fit us in tomorrow. 251 00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:55,941 - How about at lunch time? - Okay. All right, fine. 252 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,360 Okay, good. I love you. 253 00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:59,236 I love you, too, babe. I do. 254 00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:03,741 ("ME SO HORNY" BY 2 LIVE CREW PLAYING ON COMPUTER) 255 00:13:04,910 --> 00:13:05,826 - Oh, my- - MAGGIE: What is that? 256 00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:07,787 - Okay. - Calvin? Are you- 257 00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:08,954 Love you. Bye-bye. 258 00:13:12,084 --> 00:13:13,084 No! 259 00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:14,877 Stop, stop! 260 00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:16,420 Hey, man. I- 261 00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:18,672 Hey! What's up, guys? 262 00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:21,801 Congratulations on that promotion, man. 263 00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:22,968 It's quite the thing. 264 00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:25,971 Thank you. Hey, that's not work appropriate. 265 00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:27,264 Yup. 266 00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:29,058 Not cool, man. Not cool. 267 00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:31,936 (SIGHS) 268 00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:34,230 Hey, forward that to me. 269 00:13:40,404 --> 00:13:42,071 (SIREN BLARING IN DISTANCE) 270 00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:46,909 MAN 1: For real man, seriously? 271 00:13:47,077 --> 00:13:48,744 MAN 2: Yeah. Watch it, punk. 272 00:13:51,248 --> 00:13:52,623 Excuse you, too. 273 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,584 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 274 00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:57,294 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 275 00:14:12,394 --> 00:14:13,394 My man! 276 00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:14,979 Back the fuck up! 277 00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:17,148 - Whoa! - Back up, man! 278 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,316 Fine. I'll give you these fists. 279 00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:20,734 I'll fist your ass. 280 00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:22,444 Calvin. It's me, Bob. 281 00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:25,447 What? Sorry, do I know you? 282 00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:27,408 Do you know... 283 00:14:27,576 --> 00:14:30,578 Robbie Wheirdicht from high school! 284 00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:33,414 Are you kidding? What? 285 00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:36,292 - Wait, you're Robbie Wheirdicht? - Yeah! 286 00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:39,712 God, man, look at you! You've lost, like, 200 pounds! 287 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,463 I see you gained it back in muscle. 288 00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:43,257 Oh, my God! You look great! 289 00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:45,301 - No, you look great! - Stop it. 290 00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:47,845 No, you haven't changed since high school, dude! 291 00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:51,223 No, you're just sexy as dick right now. 292 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,434 You don't look somebody in the eyes and say that. 293 00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:54,643 Hey, let's get hammered. 294 00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:57,021 I got an early day at work, so I'll probably- 295 00:14:57,189 --> 00:14:58,272 No, come on, I'm buying! 296 00:14:58,440 --> 00:14:59,440 Oh, shit. 297 00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:00,983 Mmm. 298 00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:04,028 I'm sorry, man. I am blown away right now. 299 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,405 - Dude, you used to be Fat Robbie. - (LAUGHS) 300 00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,866 Look at you! This is like a total transformation. 301 00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:10,659 You look like Hercules or somebody. 302 00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:12,203 What did you do? Come on, give it to me. 303 00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:14,330 - I didn't do much, really. - Stop it. 304 00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:16,832 All right. I just did one thing. 305 00:15:17,167 --> 00:15:18,209 Come on, I need to know. 306 00:15:18,627 --> 00:15:20,836 I worked out six hours a day, every day, 307 00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:22,463 for the last 20 years straight. 308 00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:26,634 - I mean, anybody can do it, right? - Yeah. 309 00:15:27,719 --> 00:15:31,555 Yeah. You know, I've gotten into hot yoga. 310 00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:33,015 (CLEARS THROAT) 311 00:15:33,225 --> 00:15:34,642 I started doing some sessions. 312 00:15:34,809 --> 00:15:35,809 Uh-huh. 313 00:15:37,229 --> 00:15:38,479 Nice unicorn, man. 314 00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:40,856 Oh, yeah, I'm big-time into 'corns. 315 00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:42,149 So magical, right? 316 00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:44,526 You know, they're the most lethal animal on the planet. 317 00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:45,903 Here you go. 318 00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:48,072 Guys, my name's Lexi. 319 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:49,448 Just let me know if you need anything. 320 00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:50,824 Okay. 321 00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:54,370 I mean, like, anything at all. 322 00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:56,205 - Okie-dokie. - (GIGGLES) 323 00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:59,541 You're funny. Do you ever, like, Snapchat? 324 00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:02,378 - Oh, no. You know- - I wasn't talking to you. 325 00:16:03,046 --> 00:16:04,046 No, no, no. I don't do that. 326 00:16:04,214 --> 00:16:06,715 I'm just catching up with an old friend from high school. 327 00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:09,551 Aw. You're so sweet. 328 00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:12,388 I think unicorns are sexy, too. 329 00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:16,600 That must happen to you all the time, right? 330 00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:18,060 Ah, nah. 331 00:16:18,603 --> 00:16:20,396 I mean, all that meaningless sex is just- 332 00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:22,189 It's not my bag anymore, CJ. 333 00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:25,734 No, now, I'm looking for more of an emotional connection. 334 00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:26,986 The next woman I lay with, 335 00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:28,904 she's gonna be beautiful on the inside, 336 00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:30,739 just as much as she is on the outside. 337 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:32,700 Hey, wait. Whatever happened 338 00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:34,076 to that girl that you liked in high school? 339 00:16:34,369 --> 00:16:36,912 Oh, God, man. The "Doogie Howser" girl. 340 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,914 She was 14, but somehow she was a senior. 341 00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:40,207 She wore a cape. 342 00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:43,168 - Darla McGuckian. - Darla McGuckian. 343 00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,087 - "Yucky Gucky. " - (BOTH LAUGH) 344 00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:47,756 - Didn't she have a lazy eye or something? - Two of 'em. 345 00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:49,133 Right. 346 00:16:49,301 --> 00:16:50,301 Hey, but listen, I don't wanna talk about me. 347 00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:51,468 I wanna talk about you. 348 00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:52,928 I heard that you and Maggie Johnson got hitched. 349 00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:54,596 (LAUGHS) Oh, yeah. 350 00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:56,557 Yeah, man, right after college. 351 00:16:56,725 --> 00:17:00,102 Wow! The prettiest girl in school, and the coolest guy in school! 352 00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:01,270 Oh, man, I got lucky. 353 00:17:01,438 --> 00:17:02,771 I mean, you guys are like a power couple, dude! 354 00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:04,440 - No, no. - Yes! 355 00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:07,443 You're like Taylor Swift and whoever she's dating right now. 356 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:10,070 - Power. - Uh, thanks! 357 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:11,739 Yeah. You guys got kids? 358 00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:13,282 No. No kids yet. 359 00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:15,367 We planned on it after college, 360 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:18,579 but Maggie went to law school, I kept changing jobs. 361 00:17:18,747 --> 00:17:22,124 You know, having kids just isn't in our cards right now. 362 00:17:22,292 --> 00:17:23,292 Not at this point, that's all. 363 00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:24,460 - Oh, okay. - Yeah. 364 00:17:24,836 --> 00:17:28,130 I don't wanna talk about me and Maggie and myself. 365 00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:29,673 What about you? What are you doing? 366 00:17:29,841 --> 00:17:31,425 I didn't even ask you, man. What do you do for work? 367 00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:33,469 I'm a government contractor. 368 00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:36,305 Okay, that's cool. Like, what, buildings and stuff? 369 00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:38,223 Yeah, sort of. 370 00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,309 But I kinda just got fired. 371 00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:42,603 - Oh, shit! I'm sorry, man. - Oh, it's okay. 372 00:17:42,771 --> 00:17:45,439 Screw those guys, anyway. They're way too corporate. 373 00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:48,484 'Cause dudes like me and you, I mean, we're alpha dogs, right? 374 00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:50,527 I mean, we're pathfinders and trailblazers. 375 00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:53,364 And we don't listen to what anyone tells us, right? 376 00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:56,241 - Yeah, right. - Yeah. 377 00:17:56,409 --> 00:18:00,829 I mean, come on, man, I sorta path-find a little bit 378 00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:05,125 along certain preapproved parameters that are given to me. 379 00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:08,670 I'm willing to path-find but it's all about how it's set up. 380 00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:13,258 But within the box that I have, I go nuts. You'll be surprised. 381 00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,635 I had a guy tell me the other day, 382 00:18:14,803 --> 00:18:17,638 "Hey, Calvin, you know, I need those accounting numbers back 383 00:18:17,806 --> 00:18:19,181 "from, you know, the file. " 384 00:18:19,391 --> 00:18:22,184 - I said, "Go fuck yourself, Jim. " - Yeah. 385 00:18:22,352 --> 00:18:25,604 I didn't say it because I wasn't in my box, 386 00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:29,608 - but I thought about it. - Exactly! Yeah! Yeah! 387 00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:31,652 I got an idea. Let's do shots! 388 00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:32,861 No! 389 00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:34,780 I'm sorry for saying it like that, but no. 390 00:18:34,948 --> 00:18:36,657 I haven't had shots in almost 10 years, man. 391 00:18:36,825 --> 00:18:39,034 What? Come on, we have to! We're celebrating! 392 00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:41,036 Celebrating what? 393 00:18:41,204 --> 00:18:43,372 Celebrating that I'm hanging with the coolest kid in high school. 394 00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:45,374 - Stop it. - Calvin Joyner! 395 00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:47,709 The Golden Jet. 396 00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:51,672 You got to be shitting me. Wow! 397 00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:54,133 I haven't- God! 398 00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:56,718 It's been forever since I heard that, man! 399 00:18:56,886 --> 00:18:57,886 - I'll do one. - All right! 400 00:18:58,054 --> 00:18:59,054 - One shot. - Shots! 401 00:18:59,222 --> 00:19:00,305 No. One shot. 402 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,558 Just one, okay? Bob, it's been a while. 403 00:19:02,725 --> 00:19:03,725 ("JUMP AROUND" BY HOUSE OF PAIN PLAYING) 404 00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,018 Oh, shit! You remember this? 405 00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:06,728 This was the jammy-jam! 406 00:19:06,896 --> 00:19:08,897 What's that? Is that a fanny pack, Bob? 407 00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:10,566 Hell, yeah! Dude, you want one? 408 00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:12,067 No, it's okay. 409 00:19:12,235 --> 00:19:13,694 I got two at home. I'll hook you up. 410 00:19:13,862 --> 00:19:16,029 Leather pack for The Jet. 411 00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:17,239 Fanny! 412 00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:18,699 Shit. 413 00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:21,201 What the hell did I get myself into? 414 00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:23,370 Mmm. Mmm-mmm-mmm. 415 00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:26,415 Hey, sir, somebody's actually sitting there. 416 00:19:26,583 --> 00:19:28,750 - Yeah, someone was. - No! Hey, man! 417 00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:30,419 Hey, you don't see the sweatshirt right here? 418 00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:32,629 - Man, somebody's sitting here. - Move your meat, lose your seat. 419 00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:34,339 Dude, you don't have to be a dick about it. 420 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:35,591 Somebody's sitting in the chair. 421 00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:38,760 Bro, are you seriously gonna go there, bro? 422 00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:41,555 'Cause there's only one way back, bro. 423 00:19:41,723 --> 00:19:43,849 Through intensive care, bro. 424 00:19:45,435 --> 00:19:47,769 Was that the last "bro"? 'Cause if it was, then I'll talk. 425 00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:49,188 That supposed to be funny? 426 00:19:49,439 --> 00:19:50,772 - Dude- - You a comedian now? 427 00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:53,066 'Cause you don't look like Dane Cook to me, bro. 428 00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:54,735 Hey, now! 429 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:56,612 What's the rumpus? 430 00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:57,821 CALVIN: You know... There's no problem, man. 431 00:19:57,989 --> 00:20:00,073 Let's just go to another table. Get your jacket. Let's go. 432 00:20:00,617 --> 00:20:02,534 - No, we're not gonna go anywhere. - Listen to your pussy friend. 433 00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:05,245 Those gym muscles aren't scaring anybody, pal. 434 00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:07,456 - Oh, these? - Let's just go. It's okay. 435 00:20:07,624 --> 00:20:10,125 No, we're not gonna go. This man insulted you. 436 00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:12,085 And we're not gonna leave until he apologizes. 437 00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:14,296 - It's okay. - Hey, we got a problem here? 438 00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:16,465 - No, no. - Yeah, we got a big problem. 439 00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:19,301 Your friend, here, really insulted my friend 440 00:20:19,469 --> 00:20:20,469 and he needs to apologize. 441 00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:21,637 I don't think he does. 442 00:20:21,804 --> 00:20:22,804 CALVIN: He doesn't. 443 00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:24,848 Oh, you know what, man? 444 00:20:25,016 --> 00:20:27,267 I think this whole situation's getting a little out of control. 445 00:20:27,435 --> 00:20:28,602 I can fix this whole thing. 446 00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:31,104 I'll order some nachos. The "Explosions. " 447 00:20:31,272 --> 00:20:33,649 It's got four cheeses! Let's eat 'em together. 448 00:20:33,816 --> 00:20:34,858 You know what? You take them. 449 00:20:35,026 --> 00:20:36,026 Let's go. 450 00:20:36,194 --> 00:20:37,319 Nah. We're not going anywhere, Jet. 451 00:20:37,487 --> 00:20:38,946 This whole thing will be over in a jiff. 452 00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:40,656 Hey, how about this? 453 00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:43,325 Why don't you and your boyfriend apologize to Big Rick here 454 00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:45,661 and then go jerk each other in the parking lot? 455 00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:47,120 That's a lot- 456 00:20:47,288 --> 00:20:48,330 Yeah. You're right, CJ. 457 00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:51,124 That's a lot of homophobia coming out of a very angry man. 458 00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:53,794 You need to go get that looked at by a trained professional. 459 00:20:53,962 --> 00:20:56,171 But, since you have escalated this whole scenario 460 00:20:56,339 --> 00:20:57,798 by bringing what I can only assume 461 00:20:57,966 --> 00:21:00,342 is an unlicensed firearm into this public place, 462 00:21:00,510 --> 00:21:02,678 endangering the lives of all these innocent people, 463 00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:05,639 I can no longer, in good conscience, walk away 464 00:21:05,807 --> 00:21:07,516 and jerk anyone off in the parking lot. 465 00:21:07,684 --> 00:21:09,810 I'm afraid we ain't going anywhere. 466 00:21:09,978 --> 00:21:11,144 It's time for you to get out of here, pal. 467 00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:12,813 CALVIN: Whoa, whoa, whoa. 468 00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:15,440 There's four of us, tough guy. 469 00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:17,609 Yeah. I got that. 470 00:21:18,194 --> 00:21:19,695 All right. Before this whole thing goes down, 471 00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:20,946 you should know one thing about me. 472 00:21:21,114 --> 00:21:22,114 What's that? 473 00:21:26,035 --> 00:21:27,536 I don't like bullies. 474 00:21:28,538 --> 00:21:29,663 (SCREAMS) 475 00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:31,331 (GAGS) 476 00:21:32,542 --> 00:21:34,084 (GROANS) 477 00:21:37,046 --> 00:21:38,380 (BULLETS CLATTER) 478 00:21:38,881 --> 00:21:40,048 Let's go, Jet. 479 00:21:41,134 --> 00:21:42,342 Yes. 480 00:21:43,845 --> 00:21:46,346 Oh, my God! I hope he's Catholic. 481 00:21:46,514 --> 00:21:47,556 (MEN GROANING) 482 00:21:49,350 --> 00:21:50,892 Oh, my God! 483 00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:52,519 What the hell was that? 484 00:21:52,687 --> 00:21:54,563 Bob, that was amazing! I've never seen anything like that! 485 00:21:54,731 --> 00:21:56,398 You took the one guy, you hit him like this. 486 00:21:56,566 --> 00:21:57,733 He couldn't breathe. (IMITATES CHOKING) 487 00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:59,318 I sat there, I'm looking at him... 488 00:21:59,485 --> 00:22:00,736 You talkin' to him like, "I don't like bullies. " 489 00:22:00,903 --> 00:22:02,487 I was like, "That's not a good line. " But it was! 490 00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:03,655 I didn't even know you could fight! 491 00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:06,575 You had a unicorn shirt, a fanny pack, and it totally worked! 492 00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:08,910 You were like Jason Bourne, man, but with jorts! 493 00:22:09,078 --> 00:22:11,413 How did you do that? Where'd you learn that stuff? 494 00:22:11,581 --> 00:22:13,415 I took a couple classes at work. 495 00:22:13,583 --> 00:22:14,916 I hope I didn't go too far. 496 00:22:15,084 --> 00:22:16,209 I'm sorry about ruining the night, Jet. 497 00:22:16,377 --> 00:22:19,254 Ruin my night? No! It was the coolest thing ever, man! 498 00:22:19,422 --> 00:22:20,839 - Really? - Yes! 499 00:22:21,007 --> 00:22:23,300 To see my boy go in and whoop ass on those idiots back there. 500 00:22:23,468 --> 00:22:24,634 Dude, that was amazing! 501 00:22:24,886 --> 00:22:26,720 Wait, we're boys? 502 00:22:27,347 --> 00:22:28,430 Yeah, we boys. 503 00:22:30,099 --> 00:22:31,099 Wow. I... 504 00:22:33,019 --> 00:22:34,019 Never had a boy. 505 00:22:36,564 --> 00:22:38,857 - That's awesome! Come here! - Oh, wait. 506 00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:41,526 Stop. What's going on, man? 507 00:22:41,694 --> 00:22:43,278 - I'm a hugger! - What're you doing? 508 00:22:44,614 --> 00:22:47,699 Hey! I got an idea. Let's roll. Here's my bike. 509 00:22:48,951 --> 00:22:50,035 Wait. That's your bike? 510 00:22:50,203 --> 00:22:51,912 Yeah. Kawasaki 800! 511 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:53,538 I know what the bike is. 512 00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:55,415 I had the same bike in high school, man. 513 00:22:55,583 --> 00:22:57,209 - You still ride? - No, man. 514 00:22:57,377 --> 00:22:58,377 I haven't ridden a bike in years! 515 00:22:58,544 --> 00:22:59,795 Come on, let's roll. 516 00:23:01,047 --> 00:23:02,297 (SIGHS) 517 00:23:02,965 --> 00:23:04,466 Where? Where you trying to go? 518 00:23:04,801 --> 00:23:07,427 I know the perfect spot. Come on, Jet. 519 00:23:08,471 --> 00:23:09,971 You know, why not? Why not? 520 00:23:10,139 --> 00:23:12,307 After this- Yeah, okay! 521 00:23:12,725 --> 00:23:13,809 BOB: Let's roll. 522 00:23:14,644 --> 00:23:15,644 - (TIRES SQUEAL) - (CAR HORN HONKING) 523 00:23:15,853 --> 00:23:18,980 CALVIN: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, Bob! Slow, slow, slow! 524 00:23:19,482 --> 00:23:20,649 Bob, hey, hey! 525 00:23:26,781 --> 00:23:29,825 God, this is so crazy, man. 526 00:23:29,992 --> 00:23:31,701 This brings back so many memories. 527 00:23:31,869 --> 00:23:32,869 (BOB SIGHS) 528 00:23:33,037 --> 00:23:34,121 BOB: I don't know, CJ. 529 00:23:34,288 --> 00:23:35,831 I mean, high school wasn't easy for me, man. 530 00:23:35,998 --> 00:23:36,998 I don't know if you know this, 531 00:23:37,166 --> 00:23:38,667 but I didn't have many friends back then. 532 00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:40,460 What? 533 00:23:41,045 --> 00:23:42,671 - Really? - No. 534 00:23:42,839 --> 00:23:43,880 I don't know why I thought- 535 00:23:44,048 --> 00:23:45,340 True story. 536 00:23:45,508 --> 00:23:48,343 Man, I thought high school was gonna be like Sixteen Candles 537 00:23:48,511 --> 00:23:50,303 and I was gonna be like Molly Ringwald. 538 00:23:50,471 --> 00:23:51,471 Sure, things were difficult in the beginning, 539 00:23:51,639 --> 00:23:52,973 but then, by the end, 540 00:23:53,141 --> 00:23:54,349 everything worked out. 541 00:23:54,517 --> 00:23:56,601 And Jake Ryan picked her up in that red Porsche. 542 00:23:56,769 --> 00:23:57,853 What-what? 543 00:23:58,020 --> 00:23:59,020 You ever see that movie? 544 00:24:00,314 --> 00:24:02,357 I'm black, so I don't know the- 545 00:24:02,525 --> 00:24:04,192 You gotta see it, dude. 546 00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:07,362 Total classic. It's my favorite all-time movie. 547 00:24:07,530 --> 00:24:10,657 Then I realized high school was nothing like Sixteen Candles. 548 00:24:11,868 --> 00:24:13,702 And I'll never be like Molly Ringwald. 549 00:24:15,705 --> 00:24:17,497 Yeah, well, depends on who you ask. 550 00:24:17,665 --> 00:24:19,207 That's the thing. For me, I- 551 00:24:20,793 --> 00:24:21,877 What's going on? 552 00:24:23,087 --> 00:24:24,337 Oh, wow. 553 00:24:26,215 --> 00:24:27,799 Hey, man, I just wanna say that I'm really sorry 554 00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:30,385 about what Trevor and those guys did to you back then. 555 00:24:32,221 --> 00:24:33,889 (ECHOING LAUGHTER) 556 00:24:35,475 --> 00:24:37,017 (EXCLAIMS) 557 00:24:37,226 --> 00:24:40,020 No biggie. I don't even think about it anymore. No. 558 00:24:40,688 --> 00:24:41,855 Okay, good. 559 00:24:42,064 --> 00:24:43,732 Yeah. Here's the secret. You know what I did, Jet? 560 00:24:43,900 --> 00:24:46,318 I took all that stuff and I balled it up real tight 561 00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:48,987 and then I shoved it way down deep. 562 00:24:49,530 --> 00:24:51,531 And I just pretty much ignore it. 563 00:24:51,949 --> 00:24:54,701 You know, that sounds really unhealthy, Bob. 564 00:24:54,994 --> 00:24:56,244 Hey, I gotta tell you. 565 00:24:56,412 --> 00:24:58,038 You were the only one who helped me out that day. 566 00:24:58,331 --> 00:24:59,873 In the gym? Remember that? 567 00:25:00,041 --> 00:25:02,417 And you gave me your letterman's jacket! 568 00:25:02,585 --> 00:25:05,629 Hey, not for nothing, but I never got that jacket back, man. 569 00:25:06,088 --> 00:25:07,088 Huh! 570 00:25:07,340 --> 00:25:09,049 Really? Strange. 571 00:25:10,092 --> 00:25:11,301 Hey, but listen, I just wanna thank you 572 00:25:11,469 --> 00:25:12,552 for what you did for me that day. 573 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:14,012 That was really cool of you, Jet. 574 00:25:14,180 --> 00:25:16,097 Stop, man. It was the right thing to do, you know? 575 00:25:16,265 --> 00:25:17,557 (BOTH CHUCKLES) 576 00:25:17,808 --> 00:25:20,143 - You wanna hear something weird? - What? 577 00:25:20,311 --> 00:25:22,020 I have not been naked since that day. 578 00:25:22,188 --> 00:25:23,521 I mean, not in front of anyone. 579 00:25:23,940 --> 00:25:24,981 Never. 580 00:25:25,149 --> 00:25:26,733 So, you're telling me that for the last 20 years, 581 00:25:26,901 --> 00:25:28,777 you've never been seen in your birthday suit? 582 00:25:28,945 --> 00:25:30,695 - No. - So, what about when you have sex? 583 00:25:31,072 --> 00:25:33,240 I keep it pitch-black, just like Vin Diesel. 584 00:25:33,783 --> 00:25:34,783 What? (LAUGHS) 585 00:25:36,244 --> 00:25:38,787 You know I've been wondering, whatever happened to Trevor anyway? 586 00:25:38,955 --> 00:25:41,665 Did he get hit by a bus or ripped apart by dogs 587 00:25:41,832 --> 00:25:43,875 or die slowly of anything? 588 00:25:44,085 --> 00:25:47,879 No. No, no. He's a bigtime investment banker downtown. 589 00:25:48,464 --> 00:25:50,674 - Oh, hey, cool. - Yeah. 590 00:25:50,841 --> 00:25:52,175 Good for him, man. 591 00:25:52,551 --> 00:25:55,095 Hey, Bob, look, if you ever wanna talk, I'm here. 592 00:25:55,638 --> 00:25:57,180 So I don't mind, you know? 593 00:25:57,723 --> 00:25:58,765 I don't mind at all, if you wanna- 594 00:25:58,933 --> 00:25:59,933 What? 595 00:26:01,310 --> 00:26:03,061 Whoa. (LAUGHS) 596 00:26:03,813 --> 00:26:06,147 This is all our stuff from our year! 597 00:26:06,315 --> 00:26:09,150 Yeah. Must be getting ready for the reunion tomorrow night. 598 00:26:09,318 --> 00:26:10,360 Come on, man. Let's get out of here. 599 00:26:10,528 --> 00:26:12,737 What? No! "Get out... " Look, you're all over this! 600 00:26:12,905 --> 00:26:16,241 Look at this. Basketball, baseball, cross country. 601 00:26:16,409 --> 00:26:17,659 Hamlet. 602 00:26:17,827 --> 00:26:18,827 Prom King. 603 00:26:18,995 --> 00:26:20,578 There's Darla McGuckian. 604 00:26:20,746 --> 00:26:22,622 Synchronized swimming, that's so sexy. 605 00:26:22,915 --> 00:26:25,375 This is like the Guinness Book of Golden Jet Records right there. 606 00:26:25,543 --> 00:26:26,543 (TAPS GLASS) 607 00:26:26,711 --> 00:26:27,961 I see that. 608 00:26:29,255 --> 00:26:31,589 To be honest with you, I don't even recognize this guy anymore. 609 00:26:32,300 --> 00:26:33,842 This guy, here, he was gonna... 610 00:26:34,010 --> 00:26:35,885 He was gonna conquer the world. 611 00:26:37,430 --> 00:26:39,055 If 18-year-old me could see me now, 612 00:26:39,223 --> 00:26:40,932 he'd probably think I was a total loser. 613 00:26:42,268 --> 00:26:44,102 What? That's crazy talk! 614 00:26:44,270 --> 00:26:45,812 - You're The Golden Jet, dude! - Stop. 615 00:26:45,980 --> 00:26:48,815 Stop, Bob. Spare me with The Golden Jet shit. 616 00:26:49,608 --> 00:26:51,693 I'm not The Golden Jet, man. I'm an accountant. 617 00:26:51,861 --> 00:26:53,236 That's my reality. 618 00:26:56,282 --> 00:26:59,200 (SIGHS) I just thought I was meant for more, you know? 619 00:26:59,869 --> 00:27:01,870 My life would be something special. 620 00:27:03,789 --> 00:27:06,458 You know how they say every man is the hero of his own story? 621 00:27:07,626 --> 00:27:08,710 Was that in Twilight? 622 00:27:09,378 --> 00:27:12,047 No, I don't think that's where it's from. 623 00:27:12,214 --> 00:27:14,257 But those books are cool, right? Vampires! 624 00:27:14,425 --> 00:27:16,426 And there's a wolf-boy. 625 00:27:16,594 --> 00:27:21,389 I'm not... I'm not talking about Twilight, Bob, okay? 626 00:27:21,557 --> 00:27:22,724 I'm talking about the fact that I don't feel like 627 00:27:22,892 --> 00:27:24,642 I'm the hero of my own story. That's... 628 00:27:24,810 --> 00:27:26,436 How are you not the hero of your own story? 629 00:27:26,604 --> 00:27:28,021 No one else can be! 630 00:27:28,189 --> 00:27:29,939 Yo, CJ, I gotta be honest with you, man. 631 00:27:30,107 --> 00:27:31,649 I mean, all this talk about Calvin Joyner 632 00:27:31,817 --> 00:27:33,026 not feeling like he's a hero... 633 00:27:33,194 --> 00:27:34,736 That's crazy talk, man. 634 00:27:35,237 --> 00:27:36,821 No. No, it's not. 635 00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:38,573 You were the best thing about high school. 636 00:27:39,075 --> 00:27:40,408 I'll always believe in you. 637 00:27:40,576 --> 00:27:42,869 Yo, do you remember those backflips you used to do? 638 00:27:43,662 --> 00:27:45,288 The crowd would go crazy! I was there, too. 639 00:27:45,456 --> 00:27:47,457 I was, like, "What? How's he do that?" 640 00:27:47,625 --> 00:27:48,666 How did you do that? 641 00:27:50,544 --> 00:27:52,253 I don't know. I just did it, man. 642 00:27:52,755 --> 00:27:53,922 Exactly. 643 00:27:54,090 --> 00:27:55,090 So, do it now. 644 00:27:55,966 --> 00:27:58,885 No, no. You're crazy! No. 645 00:27:59,220 --> 00:28:00,261 What's that? 646 00:28:00,429 --> 00:28:01,471 What're you talking about? What's what? 647 00:28:01,639 --> 00:28:03,223 - (SOFTLY) Golden Jet! - No, stop it. 648 00:28:03,391 --> 00:28:05,141 - Golden Jet! - Okay, stop it! 649 00:28:05,309 --> 00:28:06,851 - Golden Jet! - All right. 650 00:28:07,019 --> 00:28:08,311 Golden Jet! 651 00:28:08,479 --> 00:28:11,356 I'm not gonna stop until you do The Golden Jet flip! 652 00:28:11,524 --> 00:28:12,524 Golden Jet! 653 00:28:12,691 --> 00:28:14,901 All right, everybody, settle down. Settle down! 654 00:28:15,069 --> 00:28:17,612 If the crowd wants a Golden Jet flip, 655 00:28:17,780 --> 00:28:19,489 then they gonna get a Golden Jet flip. 656 00:28:19,657 --> 00:28:20,740 You go, girl! 657 00:28:23,577 --> 00:28:26,663 (GROANS) Oh, God! 658 00:28:26,831 --> 00:28:28,206 That was so close, Jet. 659 00:28:28,624 --> 00:28:29,624 (GROANS) 660 00:28:29,792 --> 00:28:30,792 Here, buddy. Come on. 661 00:28:32,002 --> 00:28:33,545 They must have just waxed these floors. 662 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:37,590 That was definitely a first, man. 663 00:28:37,758 --> 00:28:38,758 (BOB LAUGHS) 664 00:28:39,051 --> 00:28:40,468 Oh, man, I am beat. 665 00:28:41,053 --> 00:28:42,053 Oh. 666 00:28:44,056 --> 00:28:45,098 Hey, Jet! 667 00:28:45,349 --> 00:28:48,685 Man, I had a great time tonight. 668 00:28:48,853 --> 00:28:49,853 Whoa! 669 00:28:50,479 --> 00:28:52,480 You know what? I had a good time, too, man. 670 00:28:52,648 --> 00:28:54,065 I feel like I needed this, you know? 671 00:28:54,233 --> 00:28:56,443 Yeah. Yeah. Me, too! 672 00:28:56,944 --> 00:28:57,944 Thank you. 673 00:28:58,154 --> 00:29:00,572 My pleasure, amigo. Any time. 674 00:29:00,739 --> 00:29:04,117 Hey, if there's ever anything I can do for you, just say the word. 675 00:29:04,285 --> 00:29:06,786 Wow. You really mean that? 676 00:29:07,329 --> 00:29:08,371 Yeah. 677 00:29:08,539 --> 00:29:11,332 I wasn't gonna bring it up, but I might as well. 678 00:29:11,500 --> 00:29:14,627 Lately, I've been having this problem with my payroll account. And... 679 00:29:15,379 --> 00:29:16,504 It's all screwed up, somehow. 680 00:29:16,839 --> 00:29:20,091 You know, I was overseas working for a while before I got fired. 681 00:29:20,259 --> 00:29:23,178 So, it's kinda like a forensic international account thingy 682 00:29:23,345 --> 00:29:26,556 which, I think, is kind of your specialty, right? 683 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:28,600 Um... 684 00:29:29,018 --> 00:29:32,812 Yeah, no, it is. I'll take a look at that for you. 685 00:29:32,980 --> 00:29:34,147 You would? You would do that for me? 686 00:29:34,315 --> 00:29:36,858 I've got the login info, if you wanna crack open your computer, 687 00:29:37,026 --> 00:29:38,276 we can do this! 688 00:29:38,736 --> 00:29:40,278 Oh, you mean now? 689 00:29:40,446 --> 00:29:42,572 - That's awesome! Yeah! - Okay. 690 00:29:42,740 --> 00:29:44,407 - Look at this! - Hey, Bob- 691 00:29:44,575 --> 00:29:45,617 - Whoa! - (SHUSHING) 692 00:29:45,784 --> 00:29:46,993 Bob, you gotta keep your voice down! 693 00:29:47,161 --> 00:29:48,286 (SOFTLY) Maggie's sleeping. 694 00:29:49,455 --> 00:29:50,455 Wow. 695 00:29:51,081 --> 00:29:54,334 This is a pretty serious international account dossier you've got here. 696 00:29:54,502 --> 00:29:57,629 Right? I just want to make sure everything was hunky-dory. 697 00:29:58,214 --> 00:29:59,923 (MUMBLING) 698 00:30:02,009 --> 00:30:03,801 Going to your router. 699 00:30:03,969 --> 00:30:06,387 Now you're talking to me. 700 00:30:07,890 --> 00:30:09,974 Bingo. I'm in. 701 00:30:10,476 --> 00:30:12,769 Oh. That's great, Jet. Thank you, man! 702 00:30:16,482 --> 00:30:18,483 I mean, just looking at it first-hand, 703 00:30:18,651 --> 00:30:21,945 it kinda looks like it's a bunch of off-shore escrow accounts. 704 00:30:22,112 --> 00:30:23,655 These have been backwashed into 705 00:30:23,822 --> 00:30:26,866 a series of domestic dummy accounts for some reason. 706 00:30:27,034 --> 00:30:29,619 I mean, the logs are all crazy, too. You have China, 707 00:30:30,412 --> 00:30:31,829 Syria, Iran. 708 00:30:33,332 --> 00:30:34,666 This is an auction site, Bob! 709 00:30:34,833 --> 00:30:35,833 (MUMBLES) 710 00:30:36,001 --> 00:30:37,585 These are bids. All of these. 711 00:30:37,753 --> 00:30:40,338 This is hundreds of millions of dollars in bids, right here. 712 00:30:40,506 --> 00:30:41,923 And judging by this clock, here, 713 00:30:42,091 --> 00:30:43,383 it says it's all gonna end tomorrow. 714 00:30:43,717 --> 00:30:44,759 - (COMPUTER BEEPS) - Whoa! 715 00:30:44,927 --> 00:30:47,971 - What the hell? Why? - What did- 716 00:30:48,138 --> 00:30:49,556 - Oh! I'm sorry, Jet! - Bob! 717 00:30:49,723 --> 00:30:52,392 Jet, I'm so sorry! Oh, man. 718 00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:54,852 - I'm all thumbs. - It's my computer! 719 00:30:55,020 --> 00:30:56,563 - I'm sorry. - No! Please, Bob. 720 00:30:56,730 --> 00:30:57,939 - I'm sorry, Jet. - Leave it. I got it. 721 00:30:58,107 --> 00:31:00,483 It's fine, Bob. It's fine. Just leave it. 722 00:31:00,651 --> 00:31:01,818 The worst! 723 00:31:02,069 --> 00:31:03,236 God! 724 00:31:03,654 --> 00:31:06,030 Hey! What the hell was that on that site? 725 00:31:06,198 --> 00:31:07,740 That didn't have anything to do with payroll. 726 00:31:08,284 --> 00:31:10,285 I don't know. I've never seen that before. 727 00:31:10,452 --> 00:31:11,452 That was crazy. 728 00:31:11,620 --> 00:31:13,871 Let's figure it out tomorrow when we're bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. 729 00:31:14,039 --> 00:31:16,374 What do you say, CJ? I am beat. 730 00:31:17,167 --> 00:31:18,501 Hey, do you mind if I crash here? 731 00:31:19,378 --> 00:31:20,628 Um... 732 00:31:21,714 --> 00:31:22,714 No. 733 00:31:24,258 --> 00:31:26,134 Let me go grab some blankets. 734 00:31:30,931 --> 00:31:33,224 Hey, thanks for the jammies, Jet. 735 00:31:34,518 --> 00:31:37,145 Okay, well, you can keep those. 736 00:31:37,313 --> 00:31:39,105 Those are- Those are officially yours. 737 00:31:40,566 --> 00:31:41,941 Yeah. 738 00:31:42,818 --> 00:31:44,611 - All right. - Oh. 739 00:31:45,446 --> 00:31:46,904 You gonna sleep with your fanny pack. 740 00:31:47,072 --> 00:31:49,991 Golden Jet! Yeah, it's my baby. 741 00:31:57,458 --> 00:31:58,458 (EXHALES) 742 00:32:01,587 --> 00:32:04,797 You need anything else? You're okay? 743 00:32:06,759 --> 00:32:10,178 I can't believe I'm having a sleepover at Calvin Joyner's house right now. 744 00:32:10,346 --> 00:32:12,847 This is blowing my mind! (LAUGHS) 745 00:32:14,308 --> 00:32:15,308 Okay. 746 00:32:15,893 --> 00:32:16,893 Uh, good night, Bob. 747 00:32:17,895 --> 00:32:19,020 Good night, Jet. 748 00:32:23,859 --> 00:32:24,859 (FABRIC TEARING) 749 00:32:30,574 --> 00:32:33,242 (SNORING) 750 00:32:38,791 --> 00:32:39,791 - Me? - (BOB SNORING) 751 00:32:40,501 --> 00:32:41,709 Yeah, you. 752 00:32:47,383 --> 00:32:48,883 What the fuck? 753 00:32:49,051 --> 00:32:50,176 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 754 00:32:51,762 --> 00:32:53,012 One second. 755 00:32:56,475 --> 00:32:57,475 (KNOCKING CONTINUES) 756 00:32:57,726 --> 00:32:58,935 Hold on. 757 00:33:03,399 --> 00:33:04,440 Uh, may I help you? 758 00:33:04,608 --> 00:33:06,109 Mr. Joyner, my name is Pamela Harris, 759 00:33:06,276 --> 00:33:08,569 I'm with the Central Intelligence Agency. 760 00:33:08,737 --> 00:33:11,072 Have you had any contact with this man? 761 00:33:11,699 --> 00:33:14,325 Uh, yeah, he's on my- He's on my couch, sleeping. 762 00:33:14,493 --> 00:33:15,493 Target's in the house. 763 00:33:15,661 --> 00:33:17,870 What's going on? Hey! 764 00:33:18,038 --> 00:33:20,498 Excuse me. Excuse me! 765 00:33:24,211 --> 00:33:25,253 AGENT STAN: (INTO COMM) Target's fled. 766 00:33:25,921 --> 00:33:27,004 Shit. 767 00:33:27,256 --> 00:33:28,339 Target's on the move. 768 00:33:28,507 --> 00:33:29,590 Excuse me! What... 769 00:33:33,804 --> 00:33:35,596 Hello, hey! Excuse me! 770 00:33:35,806 --> 00:33:37,849 - ... and voice chatter in the vicinity. - CALVIN: Hello! Excuse me! 771 00:33:38,016 --> 00:33:40,226 If he's in the wind again, it's gonna be your ass. Go now. 772 00:33:40,394 --> 00:33:42,562 - Hello! - Alert Langley, asset uncontained. 773 00:33:42,730 --> 00:33:43,938 Excuse me! 774 00:33:44,940 --> 00:33:45,898 - Can I help you? - Hello! 775 00:33:46,066 --> 00:33:47,316 It's my house. Is something going on? 776 00:33:47,484 --> 00:33:49,902 Well, Mr. Joyner, your sleepover buddy, Robert Wheirdicht, 777 00:33:50,070 --> 00:33:53,573 AKA Bob Stone, AKA Bob Golden, AKA Bob Jet, 778 00:33:53,824 --> 00:33:55,700 is wanted for murder and treason 779 00:33:55,868 --> 00:33:58,536 and is presently in possession of highly classified state secrets 780 00:33:58,704 --> 00:34:00,413 which he intends to sell to our enemies. 781 00:34:00,581 --> 00:34:01,622 What? 782 00:34:01,790 --> 00:34:05,585 And if he succeeds, it's gonna spark a chain reaction of geopolitical events 783 00:34:05,753 --> 00:34:06,919 that most of our predictive models 784 00:34:07,087 --> 00:34:09,839 place somewhere between World War lll and outright Armageddon. 785 00:34:10,007 --> 00:34:12,300 So, yeah, I guess you could say something is going on. 786 00:34:12,718 --> 00:34:13,718 Oh, you mind? 787 00:34:15,429 --> 00:34:18,014 Creamer's in the fridge. What? 788 00:34:18,182 --> 00:34:19,682 I don't need it. 789 00:34:19,850 --> 00:34:21,726 What I do need is information. 790 00:34:21,894 --> 00:34:24,729 I need you to tell me everything and anything 791 00:34:24,897 --> 00:34:26,647 about your contact with Agent Stone. 792 00:34:27,524 --> 00:34:30,109 - Agent Stone? - Bob, your friend Bob. 793 00:34:30,277 --> 00:34:32,069 Come on. Stay with me, please. 794 00:34:33,155 --> 00:34:35,323 Okay, I think there's a misunderstanding. 795 00:34:35,491 --> 00:34:37,658 No. No, he is not my friend. 796 00:34:37,826 --> 00:34:39,452 Then why did he list you as his emergency contact 797 00:34:39,620 --> 00:34:40,745 in all his personnel forms? 798 00:34:41,038 --> 00:34:42,121 I'm sorry- He what? 799 00:34:42,289 --> 00:34:44,790 Bob Stone has no siblings, or parents, or family of any kind. 800 00:34:45,125 --> 00:34:46,250 You are the only person 801 00:34:46,418 --> 00:34:48,586 he listed in his personal references. 802 00:34:48,795 --> 00:34:50,046 Oh... (STAMMERS) 803 00:34:50,214 --> 00:34:52,632 That's crazy, all right? I barely even know the guy. 804 00:34:52,799 --> 00:34:54,091 Then why was he sleeping on your couch? 805 00:34:54,259 --> 00:34:55,426 Because we went out and had drinks last night. 806 00:34:55,594 --> 00:34:57,220 Oh, so you went out drinking with your non-friend? 807 00:34:58,430 --> 00:34:59,430 Okay. 808 00:35:00,057 --> 00:35:01,432 All right, let's- You're not- 809 00:35:01,934 --> 00:35:02,975 Time out. 810 00:35:03,143 --> 00:35:04,560 I'm pressing the time out button. 811 00:35:04,728 --> 00:35:08,147 Okay? You guys barged in my house. I pay my taxes. 812 00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:11,609 So you're not gonna come here and treat me like I'm the enemy, okay? 813 00:35:11,777 --> 00:35:13,861 That's the first thing. Now, if you want to get into facts- 814 00:35:14,154 --> 00:35:15,655 You wanna talk about facts? 815 00:35:15,822 --> 00:35:16,822 This is Facebook's fault. 816 00:35:16,990 --> 00:35:17,990 Are you familiar with Facebook? 817 00:35:18,158 --> 00:35:19,200 We surveil it. 818 00:35:19,368 --> 00:35:20,910 He sent me a friend request. 819 00:35:21,078 --> 00:35:22,537 That's how this whole thing started. 820 00:35:22,704 --> 00:35:23,788 And you accepted? 821 00:35:24,540 --> 00:35:26,249 Don't do that. Don't do that to me. 822 00:35:26,416 --> 00:35:29,752 You give me a second. Okay? Don't fire back like that. 823 00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:32,046 First of all, fuck Mark Zuckerberg, all right? 824 00:35:32,214 --> 00:35:34,549 Now, I accepted because it was Facebook. 825 00:35:34,716 --> 00:35:35,925 And it's rude when you don't accept it 826 00:35:36,093 --> 00:35:37,218 and I don't know if the person on the other end 827 00:35:37,386 --> 00:35:39,720 can see me not accept it. That's why I accepted. 828 00:35:39,888 --> 00:35:41,347 Are you nervous, Mr. Joyner? 829 00:35:41,682 --> 00:35:42,723 Is it hot? 830 00:35:42,891 --> 00:35:44,767 Are you getting hot? Because I'm getting hot. 831 00:35:44,935 --> 00:35:46,227 I'm not gonna take off my jacket 832 00:35:46,395 --> 00:35:48,020 because that makes me look guilty. 833 00:35:48,188 --> 00:35:50,606 And that's what you guys look for. Hmm? 834 00:35:50,983 --> 00:35:53,359 Is this what a guilty man would do? 835 00:35:53,610 --> 00:35:55,903 Look how comfortable I am. 836 00:35:56,572 --> 00:35:59,073 I'm gonna lean up against this counter, and I'm not gonna sweat. 837 00:35:59,783 --> 00:36:03,578 I'm not gonna... I'm not gonna look flustered at all. 838 00:36:03,745 --> 00:36:05,580 I'm... Bring it. 839 00:36:06,039 --> 00:36:07,248 What you want to know? 840 00:36:07,541 --> 00:36:08,583 Hmm? 841 00:36:08,750 --> 00:36:09,917 - Mr. Joyner. - Yeah. 842 00:36:10,085 --> 00:36:11,919 Bob Stone is a dangerous psychotic. 843 00:36:12,254 --> 00:36:14,255 - You're lucky to be alive. - Okay, listen to me. 844 00:36:14,423 --> 00:36:17,258 Agent Harris, I don't know this man. 845 00:36:17,509 --> 00:36:19,093 He's just a little weird kid that I knew in high school. 846 00:36:19,261 --> 00:36:20,803 He used to put Rice Krispies Treats in my locker. 847 00:36:20,971 --> 00:36:22,263 Sometimes I ate 'em, sometimes I didn't. 848 00:36:22,431 --> 00:36:23,848 I wasn't in carbs back then 849 00:36:24,182 --> 00:36:26,017 'cause I didn't want that weight going to my hips. 850 00:36:26,184 --> 00:36:28,436 As a man, you don't want big hips, especially in high school. 851 00:36:28,770 --> 00:36:31,063 Bottom line, I have no allegiance to this man. 852 00:36:31,231 --> 00:36:32,815 Zero ties, okay? 853 00:36:32,983 --> 00:36:34,150 All ties are cut. 854 00:36:34,318 --> 00:36:36,277 I cut them, so this is me and you. 855 00:36:36,778 --> 00:36:38,446 So don't put me and him... 856 00:36:38,822 --> 00:36:40,990 I ain't in this shit, okay? 857 00:36:41,783 --> 00:36:44,076 All right, Mr. Joyner. Prove it. 858 00:36:44,953 --> 00:36:46,579 Yeah, well, I need a second. 859 00:36:46,747 --> 00:36:49,248 You gotta step outside. I gotta take a shit. 860 00:36:49,416 --> 00:36:50,583 This is a lot. 861 00:36:50,751 --> 00:36:53,085 I got to go. Just give me a second, man! 862 00:36:53,879 --> 00:36:55,838 - I'll be waiting. - Jesus Christ! 863 00:37:02,638 --> 00:37:03,638 (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) 864 00:37:06,183 --> 00:37:08,976 All teams be advised, we're Oscar Mike with the bait. 865 00:37:09,144 --> 00:37:10,603 I'm sorry, did you just call me "the bait"? 866 00:37:10,771 --> 00:37:11,812 No. 867 00:37:11,980 --> 00:37:13,022 Yeah, you did. She just called me the bait. 868 00:37:13,190 --> 00:37:14,190 Why am I the bait? 869 00:37:14,358 --> 00:37:15,858 No, that doesn't sound like something I'd ever say. 870 00:37:16,026 --> 00:37:18,194 - You just said it. - What's going on here? (LAUGHS) 871 00:37:18,362 --> 00:37:19,987 Sir, I'm gonna need you to step aside. 872 00:37:20,155 --> 00:37:22,323 - This is a matter of national security. - (LAUGHS) 873 00:37:22,616 --> 00:37:23,824 Yeah, right! I love it. 874 00:37:23,992 --> 00:37:26,369 What is this? Like a strippergram thing to suck up to Ethan? 875 00:37:26,536 --> 00:37:27,995 Gotta love strippers. So dirty. 876 00:37:28,163 --> 00:37:30,122 Show us your tits! Show us your tits! 877 00:37:30,290 --> 00:37:33,000 (SINGSONG) Hey, let's see some titty! 878 00:37:33,168 --> 00:37:34,377 - (TASER CRACKLES) - (GROANS) 879 00:37:34,628 --> 00:37:35,628 - (ALL GASPING) - (THUDS) 880 00:37:36,046 --> 00:37:38,172 - This you? - Yeah, right here. 881 00:37:38,340 --> 00:37:39,840 You did this to yourself. 882 00:37:40,008 --> 00:37:41,008 (GROANING) 883 00:37:45,180 --> 00:37:47,515 - Small. - Yeah. 884 00:37:48,975 --> 00:37:50,851 (PHONE RINGS) 885 00:37:54,690 --> 00:37:55,690 It's my wife. 886 00:37:56,566 --> 00:37:59,193 Mr. Joyner, it is my legal obligation to inform you 887 00:37:59,361 --> 00:38:02,071 that you are now a part of a highly classified covert action. 888 00:38:02,239 --> 00:38:04,490 So, say hello to your wife and then get off the phone. 889 00:38:04,658 --> 00:38:05,825 Am I clear? 890 00:38:05,992 --> 00:38:07,535 Don't tell my wife shit. Got it. 891 00:38:08,370 --> 00:38:09,495 Don't tell your wife shit. 892 00:38:10,872 --> 00:38:12,498 - What line? - Line one. 893 00:38:14,710 --> 00:38:16,669 Hey, Mags. Hey, I can't really talk right now, babe. 894 00:38:16,837 --> 00:38:19,672 - I got a lot going on. - Okay, okay. I get it. You're hungover. 895 00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:21,757 Listen, Dr. Dan can see us today at lunch. 896 00:38:22,008 --> 00:38:24,510 - Wait a minute, Dr. Dan? - The therapist, remember? 897 00:38:24,678 --> 00:38:27,972 So, I'm thinking we should just meet at home and go together. Thank you. 898 00:38:28,140 --> 00:38:31,308 Go. Go on, and I'll just see you there, okay? 899 00:38:31,476 --> 00:38:32,601 But I got to really go, babe. 900 00:38:32,769 --> 00:38:34,353 I'm slammed in here. So, I gotta get off the phone. 901 00:38:34,521 --> 00:38:37,064 - All right. Jeez! Is everything okay? - Everything is fine, babe. 902 00:38:37,232 --> 00:38:39,650 I gotta keep the line clear. I love you. Bye, I gotta go. 903 00:38:40,986 --> 00:38:42,153 Love you. Bye. 904 00:38:42,738 --> 00:38:43,738 Hmm. 905 00:38:44,448 --> 00:38:45,489 "Hmm. " What? 906 00:38:45,657 --> 00:38:48,451 I'm an expert in speech pathology and psycho-lingual subtext. 907 00:38:48,618 --> 00:38:50,745 Your wife is not fulfilled in your relationship. 908 00:38:50,996 --> 00:38:51,996 Wait, what? 909 00:38:52,372 --> 00:38:53,748 Also, she wants to have a baby. 910 00:38:54,332 --> 00:38:55,499 Where are you getting- 911 00:38:55,709 --> 00:38:57,042 (PHONE RINGING) 912 00:38:59,212 --> 00:39:00,713 Calvin Joyner, Accounting. 913 00:39:03,383 --> 00:39:05,551 Hello? Calvin Joyner, Accounting. 914 00:39:06,303 --> 00:39:07,303 BOB: Calvin? 915 00:39:10,682 --> 00:39:12,766 (MOUTHING) It's Bob! It's Bob! 916 00:39:12,934 --> 00:39:14,143 (MOUTHING) Act natural. 917 00:39:14,311 --> 00:39:16,437 BOB: Calvin. Is that you? 918 00:39:16,605 --> 00:39:17,771 Are you there? 919 00:39:18,482 --> 00:39:20,691 Well, hey. Well, yeah. 920 00:39:21,610 --> 00:39:23,444 Yeah, wassup? 921 00:39:24,279 --> 00:39:26,822 What up, Bobby-o? 922 00:39:26,990 --> 00:39:29,200 Are you quite well? 923 00:39:29,367 --> 00:39:30,451 I'm in big trouble. 924 00:39:30,619 --> 00:39:32,870 Oh, God! I screwed up. I screwed up big time. 925 00:39:33,038 --> 00:39:35,164 We gotta talk. Can you meet me? 926 00:39:35,332 --> 00:39:37,500 Sure. Yeah. Where? Where do you want me to meet you? 927 00:39:37,667 --> 00:39:39,251 I'm in the stairwell of your building, two flights down. 928 00:39:40,086 --> 00:39:41,295 - Stairwell? - Hurry! 929 00:39:42,714 --> 00:39:44,757 - He's in the stairwell, two flights down! - Move, move! 930 00:39:44,925 --> 00:39:46,008 Alert Charlie team. 931 00:39:46,259 --> 00:39:48,177 Hold on. What's going on? Am I safe here? 932 00:39:48,345 --> 00:39:50,095 As long as Bob Stone is in the building, no one's safe. 933 00:39:50,263 --> 00:39:52,139 Get back in your office now! 934 00:39:56,770 --> 00:39:57,978 Okay! 935 00:39:58,146 --> 00:40:00,189 Good news is we heard her, guys. 936 00:40:00,482 --> 00:40:03,359 So, everybody, let's all just stay calm. 937 00:40:03,527 --> 00:40:05,945 As long as- As long- Shit! 938 00:40:08,990 --> 00:40:10,950 What the hell is going on? 939 00:40:11,117 --> 00:40:12,284 - Relax. - Hey. 940 00:40:12,452 --> 00:40:14,119 Great job at getting them out of here, Jet. 941 00:40:14,287 --> 00:40:15,454 - Oh, Bob! - That's teamwork! 942 00:40:15,789 --> 00:40:17,373 Wait! How did you- What did you just do? 943 00:40:17,541 --> 00:40:18,749 It's a tradecraft, buddy. 944 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:20,292 Spoiler alert... 945 00:40:20,460 --> 00:40:21,585 I'm in the CIA. 946 00:40:21,753 --> 00:40:22,836 Oh, no shit! 947 00:40:23,004 --> 00:40:24,255 Hey, hey! What're you doing with my phone? 948 00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:26,173 You about to turn my phone into a bomb, aren't you? 949 00:40:26,466 --> 00:40:28,509 I've seen Homeland. So I know what they do. 950 00:40:28,802 --> 00:40:31,303 (LAUGHS) Homeland? No, I'm ordering us an Uber. 951 00:40:31,471 --> 00:40:33,305 Six minutes. That's kinda tight. 952 00:40:34,182 --> 00:40:35,808 I'm gonna need your tie. 953 00:40:36,393 --> 00:40:37,518 You're gonna- No! 954 00:40:37,686 --> 00:40:38,894 - Your necktie, take it off. - No, 955 00:40:39,062 --> 00:40:40,604 - I'm not taking my tie off! - Come on, Jet! 956 00:40:40,772 --> 00:40:42,273 - Don't do that. Don't do that. - (LAUGHS) 957 00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:43,566 That's good. Save it, save it, save it. 958 00:40:43,733 --> 00:40:45,067 Save it, Jet. 959 00:40:45,235 --> 00:40:47,069 - There we go, just right over here. - Fine, take it, take it. 960 00:40:47,237 --> 00:40:49,989 You can have it. Okay, that- Listen to me. Listen. 961 00:40:50,156 --> 00:40:51,198 Stop. Stop! 962 00:40:51,366 --> 00:40:53,367 I need to know what is happening, right now. 963 00:40:53,535 --> 00:40:55,536 Okay, okay. You know what? Moving too fast. 964 00:40:55,704 --> 00:40:58,872 Bottom line, are you in or you out? 965 00:40:59,666 --> 00:41:00,874 What are you- In or out of what? 966 00:41:01,042 --> 00:41:03,502 Mmm-mmm. No time for questions, just action. 967 00:41:03,670 --> 00:41:05,754 - In or out? - Okay, then I'm out. 968 00:41:06,381 --> 00:41:08,382 I'm sorry, Jet. Actually, you're already in. 969 00:41:08,550 --> 00:41:10,009 Then why would you ask me? 970 00:41:10,176 --> 00:41:11,969 Because I thought you would go, "I'm in, Bob!" 971 00:41:12,137 --> 00:41:13,387 And we would've had a really cool moment, 972 00:41:13,555 --> 00:41:14,972 but you kinda ruined the whole thing. 973 00:41:15,140 --> 00:41:16,140 I ruined- 974 00:41:16,308 --> 00:41:17,391 Okay, okay, okay. 975 00:41:17,559 --> 00:41:18,976 Listen to me right now. 976 00:41:19,144 --> 00:41:20,728 Bob, I don't know what it is that you're into 977 00:41:20,895 --> 00:41:22,313 but what I do know is that 978 00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:26,358 I am really, really 100% out! 979 00:41:26,526 --> 00:41:27,526 Do you understand that? 980 00:41:27,694 --> 00:41:29,945 - God, you are good! (LAUGHS) - What? 981 00:41:30,113 --> 00:41:32,906 Calvin Joyner, president of the Drama Club for a reason, folks! 982 00:41:33,074 --> 00:41:35,784 - You're like a snack-size Denzel. - Okay. Stop it, stop it, stop it. 983 00:41:36,786 --> 00:41:38,203 This is not a game. 984 00:41:38,371 --> 00:41:39,872 I'm being serious right now. 985 00:41:40,540 --> 00:41:41,540 I'm out! 986 00:41:44,127 --> 00:41:45,336 Okay. Okay. 987 00:41:45,503 --> 00:41:47,588 I can't say I'm not disappointed, Jet, 988 00:41:48,423 --> 00:41:49,715 but if you're out, you're out. 989 00:41:49,883 --> 00:41:51,759 Thank you! I'm out! 990 00:41:51,926 --> 00:41:53,886 I'm just happy that we can communicate 991 00:41:54,054 --> 00:41:55,679 openly and honestly. 992 00:41:55,847 --> 00:41:58,807 I think it says a lot about our relationship. 993 00:41:58,975 --> 00:42:01,310 Wait, hold up, wait. What're you doing? Oh, my God! 994 00:42:01,478 --> 00:42:02,519 Here's the thing, though. 995 00:42:02,687 --> 00:42:04,188 There's only one way for you to get out. 996 00:42:04,356 --> 00:42:05,481 What's that? 997 00:42:05,649 --> 00:42:06,857 You gotta get in first. 998 00:42:07,025 --> 00:42:08,359 What is it that- 999 00:42:08,526 --> 00:42:09,818 What-what! Take my gun, Jet, 1000 00:42:09,986 --> 00:42:11,528 we may have to kill some people. 1001 00:42:11,696 --> 00:42:13,822 - Come on, it's not gonna bite you. - I will do no such thing. 1002 00:42:13,990 --> 00:42:14,990 I think you'll like it. 1003 00:42:15,158 --> 00:42:16,492 - I will not! - You're gonna need it. 1004 00:42:17,452 --> 00:42:19,912 You're gonna need it! He's in here! 1005 00:42:20,121 --> 00:42:21,121 Jet. 1006 00:42:21,289 --> 00:42:23,832 He's in there! Bob's in there! 1007 00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,293 He's got a gun! He's got a gun! 1008 00:42:26,544 --> 00:42:27,961 (PEOPLE SCREAM) 1009 00:42:28,463 --> 00:42:30,172 - Down, down, get down! - Move, move, move! 1010 00:42:30,924 --> 00:42:32,007 All right. I'm gonna need your improv skills. 1011 00:42:32,175 --> 00:42:33,175 What? 1012 00:42:33,343 --> 00:42:35,803 - Hostage role-play, you ready? - No! 1013 00:42:36,054 --> 00:42:37,596 - Sweet, let's go. - No, I said no! 1014 00:42:37,764 --> 00:42:38,931 I said no! 1015 00:42:39,099 --> 00:42:40,516 AGENT: He's got a hostage! 1016 00:42:41,559 --> 00:42:42,559 No! 1017 00:42:42,727 --> 00:42:44,561 No! Stop it, you gonna get me killed! 1018 00:42:46,147 --> 00:42:47,314 Don't shoot! 1019 00:42:54,406 --> 00:42:55,906 (AGENTS COUGHING) 1020 00:42:59,953 --> 00:43:00,953 There we go, Jet! 1021 00:43:01,746 --> 00:43:02,746 CALVIN: What are you doing? 1022 00:43:02,914 --> 00:43:03,997 Oh! Shoot! 1023 00:43:05,834 --> 00:43:06,834 Don't shoot! 1024 00:43:11,631 --> 00:43:12,631 (GASPS) 1025 00:43:15,176 --> 00:43:16,385 (SCREAMS) 1026 00:43:18,763 --> 00:43:21,014 - Hang tight, Jet! - No, I'm not doing anything! 1027 00:43:21,182 --> 00:43:22,683 Stop including me in your stuff! 1028 00:43:24,602 --> 00:43:26,228 Get him, Agent! Hit him with the stick! 1029 00:43:27,772 --> 00:43:29,606 (BOTH GRUNTING) 1030 00:43:31,234 --> 00:43:32,276 Oh! 1031 00:43:32,610 --> 00:43:34,611 You're doing a great job, Jet. Just give me a second, okay? 1032 00:43:34,779 --> 00:43:35,779 What the fuck? 1033 00:43:36,823 --> 00:43:37,823 He got a coffee pot! 1034 00:43:38,283 --> 00:43:39,283 (SCREAMS) 1035 00:43:43,705 --> 00:43:44,705 (GROANS) 1036 00:43:55,550 --> 00:43:56,550 He got a banana! 1037 00:44:01,514 --> 00:44:03,056 Oh! Oh! 1038 00:44:04,058 --> 00:44:05,225 Freeze! 1039 00:44:05,894 --> 00:44:06,894 (BONE CRACKING) 1040 00:44:16,571 --> 00:44:18,280 Jet, help! (CHOKING) 1041 00:44:18,490 --> 00:44:19,490 What? 1042 00:44:20,492 --> 00:44:22,659 (STRAINING) Golden Jet, help. 1043 00:44:22,827 --> 00:44:23,952 No, man, I'm not helping you! 1044 00:44:26,998 --> 00:44:27,998 Oh, shit. 1045 00:44:28,541 --> 00:44:29,833 - Give me the gun! - Stop it! 1046 00:44:30,001 --> 00:44:31,335 - Stop resisting! - No, let me go! 1047 00:44:35,089 --> 00:44:37,090 Let me go! I'm trying to give it to you! 1048 00:44:40,136 --> 00:44:41,386 Oh, shit! 1049 00:44:41,554 --> 00:44:42,763 - That was an accident! - Don't move! 1050 00:44:42,931 --> 00:44:44,181 No, stop! Listen to me! 1051 00:44:46,851 --> 00:44:47,935 Let's go. 1052 00:44:48,686 --> 00:44:50,062 Wait, wait! Come on! What are you- Ah! 1053 00:44:50,814 --> 00:44:52,022 Come on, man! 1054 00:44:52,190 --> 00:44:54,149 This has gotta stop! Okay? 1055 00:44:54,359 --> 00:44:55,692 (WHIMPERS) 1056 00:44:56,069 --> 00:44:57,110 Shit! 1057 00:44:58,112 --> 00:44:59,822 (CALVIN SCREAMS) 1058 00:45:01,616 --> 00:45:02,866 Don't shoot! 1059 00:45:03,952 --> 00:45:05,786 - Oh, God! - Show us your hands! 1060 00:45:05,954 --> 00:45:07,412 - Drop your weapon! - Do it now! 1061 00:45:16,089 --> 00:45:17,089 Ow. 1062 00:45:17,882 --> 00:45:18,882 Sorry, Jet. 1063 00:45:19,050 --> 00:45:21,134 It's over, Bob. Give up. 1064 00:45:21,302 --> 00:45:22,886 You know I can't do that, Pam. 1065 00:45:23,054 --> 00:45:24,888 There's nowhere to run, Agent Stone. 1066 00:45:25,515 --> 00:45:26,723 Just like Caracas. 1067 00:45:27,350 --> 00:45:31,228 Uh, Caracas would've worked if you trusted me like Calvin trusts me. 1068 00:45:31,396 --> 00:45:32,563 No. No. 1069 00:45:32,730 --> 00:45:34,481 That is not true. I do not trust him! 1070 00:45:34,649 --> 00:45:36,733 I do not trust him at all. As a matter of fact, 1071 00:45:36,901 --> 00:45:38,277 this is a perfect time for us to clear this up 1072 00:45:38,444 --> 00:45:40,445 especially in the middle of this standoff. I shouldn't be here! 1073 00:45:40,613 --> 00:45:43,156 So I feel like me being in the middle of this throws me in it. 1074 00:45:43,324 --> 00:45:44,658 So let me exclude myself. 1075 00:45:44,826 --> 00:45:46,535 - Hey, stay down! - Don't move! 1076 00:45:46,703 --> 00:45:49,371 Okay, all right. I'll stay in. I'll stay in. 1077 00:45:50,623 --> 00:45:51,582 I got a plan. 1078 00:45:52,375 --> 00:45:53,542 Might get us both killed 1079 00:45:53,710 --> 00:45:55,377 but if it works, it'll be a totally boss story. 1080 00:45:55,545 --> 00:45:56,545 Cool? 1081 00:45:56,713 --> 00:45:58,672 - No! No, it's not cool! - Cool. 1082 00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:00,007 No, I said it's not cool. 1083 00:46:00,174 --> 00:46:01,675 (SOFTLY) I said it's not cool! 1084 00:46:01,843 --> 00:46:03,010 Time's up. 1085 00:46:03,678 --> 00:46:04,845 You're right, Pam. 1086 00:46:05,555 --> 00:46:06,638 My time is up. 1087 00:46:06,806 --> 00:46:08,849 In three, two, 1088 00:46:09,684 --> 00:46:10,684 one. 1089 00:46:12,228 --> 00:46:13,228 (ALARM RINGS) 1090 00:46:18,359 --> 00:46:20,402 Bob, Bob, Bob! 1091 00:46:20,945 --> 00:46:23,405 (SCREAMING) Whoa, whoa, whoa! 1092 00:46:24,032 --> 00:46:25,240 Oh, shit! 1093 00:46:25,992 --> 00:46:26,992 Whoo-hoo! 1094 00:46:29,162 --> 00:46:30,871 - (CALVIN SCREAMS) - (BOB WHOOPING) 1095 00:46:42,550 --> 00:46:43,550 (BOB LAUGHS) 1096 00:46:43,926 --> 00:46:45,719 Wow! Did you feel that, Jet? 1097 00:46:45,887 --> 00:46:48,138 That was the balls right there! 1098 00:46:50,141 --> 00:46:51,433 Hey, did you shit yourself a little bit? 1099 00:46:51,684 --> 00:46:52,726 (GASPING) 1100 00:46:53,519 --> 00:46:55,729 It's all right if you did. Totally cool. I don't judge. 1101 00:46:57,899 --> 00:47:00,025 (SCREAMING) 1102 00:47:01,194 --> 00:47:02,194 CALVIN: Get it off! 1103 00:47:02,612 --> 00:47:03,695 You guys order an Uber? 1104 00:47:03,863 --> 00:47:05,113 (GUNS FIRING) 1105 00:47:06,407 --> 00:47:07,574 What are you doing? 1106 00:47:08,326 --> 00:47:09,660 You better get your tuches in the car. 1107 00:47:09,827 --> 00:47:10,827 You're gonna get shot! 1108 00:47:10,995 --> 00:47:12,162 Don't shoot me! Shoot him! 1109 00:47:12,330 --> 00:47:14,831 Shoot him! I'm out! I'm out! I'm out! 1110 00:47:14,999 --> 00:47:17,250 Let me in! Let me in! Let me in! Go, Bob! 1111 00:47:17,460 --> 00:47:18,752 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1112 00:47:21,714 --> 00:47:23,090 Hey, that's my car! 1113 00:47:23,758 --> 00:47:24,758 Fuck you! 1114 00:47:25,259 --> 00:47:26,968 You get zero stars! 1115 00:47:28,012 --> 00:47:30,180 Put the word out to all assets. 1116 00:47:30,348 --> 00:47:31,932 I'm doubling the price on Bob's head. 1117 00:47:32,350 --> 00:47:33,934 Hey, what the shit, honey- (GROANS) 1118 00:47:34,185 --> 00:47:35,185 (THUDS) 1119 00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:36,895 Get Larry on it. 1120 00:47:42,193 --> 00:47:43,235 Car, car, car! 1121 00:47:43,861 --> 00:47:45,612 All right, here's the dilly-o, Jet. 1122 00:47:45,780 --> 00:47:47,406 About three weeks ago, an enemy of the state 1123 00:47:47,573 --> 00:47:48,782 codenamed "The Black Badger" 1124 00:47:48,950 --> 00:47:51,910 stole the encryption keys to the entire US spy satellite program 1125 00:47:52,078 --> 00:47:53,203 which he's gonna sell to a buyer 1126 00:47:53,371 --> 00:47:55,122 from that auction site on your computer last night. 1127 00:47:55,289 --> 00:47:56,331 Bob... 1128 00:47:56,499 --> 00:47:57,541 If we lose control of our satellites, 1129 00:47:57,709 --> 00:48:00,502 we're completely vulnerable to any terrorist attacks. 1130 00:48:00,670 --> 00:48:02,587 That's why I had to go back to your office and get you, Jet. 1131 00:48:02,755 --> 00:48:04,506 I need your super sweet accounting skills 1132 00:48:04,674 --> 00:48:06,591 to help me figure out the last piece of this puzzle 1133 00:48:06,759 --> 00:48:09,010 which is the transaction number from the winning bid. 1134 00:48:09,178 --> 00:48:11,054 That'll tell us where the deal is going down. 1135 00:48:12,932 --> 00:48:15,058 That way, we can get The Black Badger. 1136 00:48:15,393 --> 00:48:16,393 I can't do it without you, Jet. 1137 00:48:16,936 --> 00:48:19,104 Are you kidding me? I'm not helping you. 1138 00:48:19,272 --> 00:48:21,022 You attacked somebody with a banana. 1139 00:48:21,190 --> 00:48:23,900 - A banana, force multiplier. - What? 1140 00:48:24,068 --> 00:48:26,153 Well, basically what that means is anything in your hand 1141 00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:28,989 is far more dangerous than just your bare hands alone, 1142 00:48:29,157 --> 00:48:30,157 including a banana. 1143 00:48:30,783 --> 00:48:31,783 Oh! 1144 00:48:32,952 --> 00:48:34,995 Oh! Ah! 1145 00:48:35,288 --> 00:48:36,830 - A force multiplier! - Yeah. 1146 00:48:36,998 --> 00:48:38,498 Yeah, that's what it is. 1147 00:48:38,666 --> 00:48:40,667 It makes so much more sense to me now. 1148 00:48:40,835 --> 00:48:43,044 That's page-one CIA stuff. 1149 00:48:43,212 --> 00:48:46,590 I almost forgot that I wasn't in the fucking CIA! 1150 00:48:47,550 --> 00:48:48,675 Stop the car. 1151 00:48:48,843 --> 00:48:50,719 You stop the car right now! Stop the car! 1152 00:48:50,887 --> 00:48:52,763 Okay, okay. That's a great idea, Jet. 1153 00:48:52,930 --> 00:48:54,556 We should get off the grid right now. 1154 00:48:55,892 --> 00:48:57,684 CALVIN: Whoa! 1155 00:49:02,523 --> 00:49:04,691 All right. We're clear. 1156 00:49:10,531 --> 00:49:11,698 Okay. 1157 00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:14,367 Okay. Let's just take some deep breaths. 1158 00:49:14,535 --> 00:49:16,036 Okay? Deep breaths. 1159 00:49:16,954 --> 00:49:19,539 All you gotta do is get out of this car 1160 00:49:19,707 --> 00:49:21,708 and have a rational conversation with Bob 1161 00:49:21,876 --> 00:49:23,293 and he'll understand. 1162 00:49:32,053 --> 00:49:34,888 Robert, I would like to go home now, please. 1163 00:49:35,056 --> 00:49:36,723 Buddy, you and me both. 1164 00:49:36,891 --> 00:49:39,100 But until we clear our names, there's no going home. 1165 00:49:39,268 --> 00:49:41,478 I'm sorry, can you clarify that last sentence for me? 1166 00:49:41,646 --> 00:49:42,938 Yeah, well, now that you're in- 1167 00:49:43,105 --> 00:49:45,232 Let me stop you right there. I'm not in. 1168 00:49:45,399 --> 00:49:47,067 I never said that I was in. 1169 00:49:47,235 --> 00:49:49,986 In fact, I expressly remember saying that I was out! 1170 00:49:50,154 --> 00:49:51,238 I know, but they think you're in. 1171 00:49:51,781 --> 00:49:52,781 I am... 1172 00:49:53,324 --> 00:49:55,242 I'm fucking out! I'm out! 1173 00:49:55,409 --> 00:49:56,409 - What's left to tell? - Hey, no, I get it. 1174 00:49:56,577 --> 00:49:58,245 - I'm not in! - I'm just saying they think you're in. 1175 00:49:58,412 --> 00:50:01,373 - I'm not in! I am not in! - I get it. 1176 00:50:01,582 --> 00:50:03,583 I'm not in! I'm out! 1177 00:50:03,751 --> 00:50:06,253 One sec, Jet, just gotta disable the GPS. 1178 00:50:06,671 --> 00:50:07,671 Where did you- 1179 00:50:08,130 --> 00:50:09,422 You wanna go under- That's fine! 1180 00:50:09,924 --> 00:50:10,799 Wait a minute. 1181 00:50:10,967 --> 00:50:11,967 You did this on purpose, didn't you? 1182 00:50:13,344 --> 00:50:15,637 This whole thing was done on purpose. 1183 00:50:15,805 --> 00:50:17,347 This is your plan! 1184 00:50:17,515 --> 00:50:19,224 You tricked me! 1185 00:50:19,392 --> 00:50:21,685 It's fine, but I know you tricked me. 1186 00:50:21,852 --> 00:50:23,270 - Trick you? - You tricked- Hey, boy! 1187 00:50:23,437 --> 00:50:25,564 - What? What'd you just- - (LAUGHS) 1188 00:50:25,731 --> 00:50:26,815 I didn't trick you, you offered to help me. 1189 00:50:27,316 --> 00:50:28,858 You know what's funny? Harris told me. 1190 00:50:29,026 --> 00:50:30,443 She told me everything, man. 1191 00:50:30,611 --> 00:50:32,153 She told me that you stole the codes. 1192 00:50:32,321 --> 00:50:34,114 Let me tell you something about Harris. You can't trust her. 1193 00:50:34,282 --> 00:50:36,491 She's already trying to frame me for my partner's murder! 1194 00:50:36,909 --> 00:50:38,618 - You killed your partner? - No. 1195 00:50:38,786 --> 00:50:39,786 I would never do that. 1196 00:50:39,954 --> 00:50:41,496 The Black Badger killed my partner. 1197 00:50:41,664 --> 00:50:43,540 Let me explain to you something, dude. This is what happened. 1198 00:50:44,875 --> 00:50:47,127 After The Black Badger stole the satellite encryption codes, 1199 00:50:47,295 --> 00:50:50,880 my partner Phil and I tracked him to a penthouse in Kiev. 1200 00:50:51,048 --> 00:50:52,173 - Hey, Phil. - Yeah. 1201 00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:54,009 I'll see you on the other side. 1202 00:50:55,303 --> 00:50:56,803 See you on the other side. 1203 00:50:58,139 --> 00:50:59,639 All right. 1204 00:50:59,807 --> 00:51:01,308 God, I love that guy. 1205 00:51:01,475 --> 00:51:02,851 BOB: He knew we were coming, so he set a trap. 1206 00:51:03,019 --> 00:51:05,020 Hey, Bob! Bob! 1207 00:51:05,187 --> 00:51:06,271 No! 1208 00:51:06,439 --> 00:51:08,940 BOB: Phil was my partner, my teammate 1209 00:51:09,734 --> 00:51:11,484 - and I couldn't save him. - No! 1210 00:51:11,652 --> 00:51:12,652 (EXPLOSION) 1211 00:51:14,322 --> 00:51:15,864 It was awful, Cal. 1212 00:51:16,032 --> 00:51:17,490 It was a setup, right from the get-go. 1213 00:51:19,076 --> 00:51:20,118 Damn, man. 1214 00:51:20,661 --> 00:51:21,828 The Black Badger was never there. 1215 00:51:21,996 --> 00:51:24,289 I should've been the one on that elevator, not Phil. 1216 00:51:24,749 --> 00:51:25,790 God. 1217 00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:28,376 Okay. Bob, please... 1218 00:51:28,544 --> 00:51:30,795 I'm begging you, man. Can you just let me go home? 1219 00:51:30,963 --> 00:51:32,464 CJ, I totally understand. 1220 00:51:32,632 --> 00:51:34,424 But right now, Agent Harris and her taskforce 1221 00:51:34,592 --> 00:51:36,301 has that place surveilled up the yin-yang. 1222 00:51:36,469 --> 00:51:38,053 She's got contract killers looking for us. 1223 00:51:38,220 --> 00:51:39,471 Your place isn't safe. 1224 00:51:39,639 --> 00:51:41,306 Oh, my God. Maggie. 1225 00:51:41,474 --> 00:51:43,683 Maggie! What the hell am I supposed to do about Maggie? 1226 00:51:46,145 --> 00:51:47,354 - (SHOUTS) Get down, Jet! - (CALVIN SCREAMS) 1227 00:51:56,614 --> 00:51:58,031 - Shit! Oh! - (ENGINE REVS) 1228 00:51:58,991 --> 00:51:59,991 Look out, Bob! 1229 00:52:09,126 --> 00:52:10,627 (SCREAMS AND GROANS) 1230 00:52:12,004 --> 00:52:14,547 Who the hell is that? Who is that? Bob? 1231 00:52:14,715 --> 00:52:15,965 Oh, shit. 1232 00:52:21,222 --> 00:52:22,222 Larry. 1233 00:52:25,309 --> 00:52:26,601 Thought you retired. 1234 00:52:26,769 --> 00:52:27,769 I did. 1235 00:52:28,312 --> 00:52:30,438 But you're worth a lot of money, Bob, dead or alive. 1236 00:52:30,690 --> 00:52:33,149 Well, tough luck, because I've got back up. 1237 00:52:33,317 --> 00:52:34,401 Ain't that right, Jet? 1238 00:52:37,279 --> 00:52:38,279 Jet! 1239 00:52:38,989 --> 00:52:39,989 (GROANS) 1240 00:52:57,299 --> 00:52:58,842 (PHONE RINGING) 1241 00:53:00,678 --> 00:53:03,012 Hey, baby. I know. I'm sorry I'm late. 1242 00:53:03,180 --> 00:53:05,265 The stupid Koplin deposition ran long. 1243 00:53:05,433 --> 00:53:07,434 I'm leaving right now. I'll meet you at the house. 1244 00:53:07,601 --> 00:53:08,810 No, no, no! Don't go home! 1245 00:53:08,978 --> 00:53:10,603 - Don't go home! - Why? What's going on? 1246 00:53:10,771 --> 00:53:13,523 Nothing! Nothing. I'm just running late, too. 1247 00:53:13,691 --> 00:53:16,109 So I was gonna say let's just meet at Dr. Dan's office. 1248 00:53:17,361 --> 00:53:19,320 Yeah. Okay. Is everything all right? 1249 00:53:19,488 --> 00:53:21,781 Yeah! Yeah. Why? 1250 00:53:21,949 --> 00:53:23,199 Everything's fine. 1251 00:53:23,367 --> 00:53:25,535 Because you kind of sound like Ray Liotta at the end of Goodfellas. 1252 00:53:25,786 --> 00:53:27,078 (LAUGHS) What? 1253 00:53:28,247 --> 00:53:30,373 That's so funny, babe. That's such a good reference. 1254 00:53:30,541 --> 00:53:32,333 That's classic Mags right there. 1255 00:53:32,501 --> 00:53:35,295 So, okay. So you're not gonna go home, right? 1256 00:53:35,463 --> 00:53:36,713 Okay, fine. I won't go home. 1257 00:53:36,881 --> 00:53:38,256 I'll meet you at Dr. Dan's. See you soon. 1258 00:53:38,424 --> 00:53:39,549 Okay. All right, bye. 1259 00:53:39,717 --> 00:53:40,759 All right, bye. 1260 00:54:03,866 --> 00:54:04,866 Get in. 1261 00:54:22,259 --> 00:54:25,970 (STAMMERING) I'm gonna address the elephant in the room. 1262 00:54:26,138 --> 00:54:29,432 Okay, first of all, you... 1263 00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:32,435 You guys, I want to say sorry to. 1264 00:54:32,603 --> 00:54:36,147 Because what you're probably thinking is not what happened. 1265 00:54:36,315 --> 00:54:37,357 Accidents! 1266 00:54:37,733 --> 00:54:38,775 I know you're like, 1267 00:54:38,943 --> 00:54:40,276 "How can you accidentally pistol-whip somebody 1268 00:54:40,444 --> 00:54:41,444 "and shoot somebody?" 1269 00:54:41,612 --> 00:54:42,612 It can happen. 1270 00:54:42,780 --> 00:54:46,449 Okay? Today is proof that it can happen. So... 1271 00:54:46,617 --> 00:54:48,451 I'm glad I got to get that off my chest. 1272 00:54:48,953 --> 00:54:50,662 Relax, Mr. Joyner. I believe you. 1273 00:54:50,830 --> 00:54:52,705 Okay, thank you. 1274 00:54:52,873 --> 00:54:55,458 Trust me, I know a scared-shitless civilian when I see one. 1275 00:54:55,626 --> 00:54:56,876 You don't have to convince me. 1276 00:54:57,044 --> 00:54:59,796 You got him over here. That is me. 1277 00:54:59,964 --> 00:55:01,798 Right now, I'm not comfortable. 1278 00:55:01,966 --> 00:55:03,675 Okay, I am scared, okay? 1279 00:55:03,843 --> 00:55:06,219 I don't have no shit in my system. 1280 00:55:06,387 --> 00:55:08,346 If I sat down on a toilet, nothing's coming out. 1281 00:55:08,514 --> 00:55:09,681 Farts or just air. 1282 00:55:09,932 --> 00:55:10,974 (SLOW WHISTLES) 1283 00:55:11,183 --> 00:55:13,184 (HISSING) 1284 00:55:16,313 --> 00:55:17,564 It'd sound like lasers. 1285 00:55:17,731 --> 00:55:19,148 Thank you for that description. 1286 00:55:19,733 --> 00:55:21,484 Mr. Joyner, let me explain something. 1287 00:55:21,652 --> 00:55:22,902 Bob's last forced psych eval 1288 00:55:23,070 --> 00:55:25,989 show a person rapidly losing his grip on reality. 1289 00:55:26,156 --> 00:55:27,699 Bob became obsessed with a ghost, 1290 00:55:28,158 --> 00:55:29,367 a figment of his imagination, 1291 00:55:29,535 --> 00:55:31,160 he started calling "The Black Badger. " 1292 00:55:31,328 --> 00:55:33,329 This obsession led to an instability, 1293 00:55:33,497 --> 00:55:36,165 first reported by his partner, Phil, three weeks ago. 1294 00:55:36,333 --> 00:55:38,835 Just before Phil was killed in the field. 1295 00:55:39,003 --> 00:55:40,211 Do you know how Phil died? 1296 00:55:40,379 --> 00:55:43,172 Yeah, Bob told me that The Black Badger killed him. 1297 00:55:47,386 --> 00:55:48,428 What? 1298 00:55:49,346 --> 00:55:50,346 What? 1299 00:55:50,514 --> 00:55:54,267 Mr. Joyner, Bob Stone is The Black Badger. 1300 00:55:54,894 --> 00:55:57,395 Phil was Bob's partner of six years. 1301 00:55:57,563 --> 00:55:58,563 His best friend. 1302 00:55:58,772 --> 00:56:01,024 - See you on the other side. - See you on the other side. 1303 00:56:02,026 --> 00:56:03,526 Hey, Bob! 1304 00:56:03,694 --> 00:56:05,945 AGENT HARRIS: After he stole the satellite encryption codes 1305 00:56:06,113 --> 00:56:07,280 Bob betrayed Phil. 1306 00:56:07,448 --> 00:56:08,448 No! 1307 00:56:09,199 --> 00:56:11,868 He killed him to cover his tracks. 1308 00:56:15,873 --> 00:56:18,958 And, after that, Bob went rogue. 1309 00:56:19,209 --> 00:56:20,919 This is all that's left of Phil. 1310 00:56:24,506 --> 00:56:27,216 Um, this is PornHub. 1311 00:56:27,968 --> 00:56:30,887 Oh, shit, shit, shit. Sorry. 1312 00:56:31,722 --> 00:56:32,722 There you go. 1313 00:56:33,349 --> 00:56:36,643 Oh! Oh, God! Oh, I didn't see that coming. 1314 00:56:37,394 --> 00:56:38,519 (BREATHES HEAVILY) Oh, man! 1315 00:56:39,980 --> 00:56:42,148 - It's a hell of a way to go. - Okay, wait a minute. 1316 00:56:42,316 --> 00:56:44,651 Why wouldn't Bob just go sell the satellite encryption codes himself? 1317 00:56:44,818 --> 00:56:46,611 Because in a black market blind-bidding situation, 1318 00:56:46,779 --> 00:56:48,404 the buyer and the seller, they don't know each other. 1319 00:56:48,572 --> 00:56:50,949 They need the auction site to tell them exactly where to meet up 1320 00:56:51,116 --> 00:56:52,241 and when to make the exchange. 1321 00:56:52,826 --> 00:56:55,912 The transaction number from the auction site gives them that, 1322 00:56:56,080 --> 00:56:58,081 which means Bob still needs you. 1323 00:56:59,083 --> 00:57:00,083 Which is why we find ourselves 1324 00:57:00,250 --> 00:57:02,543 in a little catch-and-release scenario. 1325 00:57:02,753 --> 00:57:04,796 You are the only one Bob trusts. 1326 00:57:05,589 --> 00:57:07,006 That's why we're putting you in the field. 1327 00:57:07,174 --> 00:57:09,050 The next time you're with Bob, 1328 00:57:10,094 --> 00:57:11,761 press this button. 1329 00:57:11,929 --> 00:57:13,262 We're going to have him cold. 1330 00:57:19,561 --> 00:57:21,354 Now, go take care of your marriage. 1331 00:57:21,522 --> 00:57:24,440 One more thing. Don't tell your wife shit. 1332 00:57:25,609 --> 00:57:26,901 All right. 1333 00:57:28,821 --> 00:57:29,988 MAGGIE: I just don't know what's wrong. 1334 00:57:30,155 --> 00:57:31,698 I mean, the man that I married, 1335 00:57:31,865 --> 00:57:33,908 the person I knew in high school, 1336 00:57:34,076 --> 00:57:38,204 he was filled with drive and desire. I mean... 1337 00:57:38,372 --> 00:57:39,664 We used to sneak off every lunch hour 1338 00:57:39,832 --> 00:57:41,290 and make out under the gym bleachers. 1339 00:57:41,458 --> 00:57:43,418 Like, that guy, back then, 1340 00:57:43,585 --> 00:57:45,753 - he wanted things, you know? - DR. DAN: Hmm. 1341 00:57:45,921 --> 00:57:48,214 Hey, I'm sorry I'm late. I couldn't find parking. 1342 00:57:48,382 --> 00:57:50,174 Hi, no, no, it's okay. We got started without you. 1343 00:57:50,342 --> 00:57:52,218 Babe, Calvin, this is Dr. Dan. 1344 00:57:52,636 --> 00:57:53,720 Hello, Calvin. 1345 00:57:53,887 --> 00:57:56,014 - Oh, shit! - Oh, jeez. What's the matter? 1346 00:57:56,181 --> 00:57:58,433 - Holy shit! Get behind me! - Honey... Calvin, what? 1347 00:57:58,600 --> 00:58:00,893 It's okay, Maggie. It's okay. Just relax. 1348 00:58:01,061 --> 00:58:03,354 This is a very common reaction in the therapeutic process. 1349 00:58:03,522 --> 00:58:04,522 - It is? - What? 1350 00:58:04,690 --> 00:58:05,690 It is. It absolutely is. 1351 00:58:05,858 --> 00:58:08,943 Calvin, this is a very safe place. Please, sit down. 1352 00:58:09,111 --> 00:58:10,903 - This is not a safe place! - No, no, no. Honey, it's a... 1353 00:58:11,071 --> 00:58:12,572 No, this is most definitely not a safe place! 1354 00:58:12,740 --> 00:58:14,532 Me and my wife are leaving. Let's go. 1355 00:58:14,700 --> 00:58:16,659 No, no, no! You are going to sit down, 1356 00:58:16,827 --> 00:58:19,787 and we are going to go through this therapeutic process... 1357 00:58:19,955 --> 00:58:21,831 - Yes. - ... together, as a couple. 1358 00:58:22,416 --> 00:58:24,250 Um... Fine, fine, fine. 1359 00:58:24,418 --> 00:58:25,877 Sit down. Thank you. 1360 00:58:26,045 --> 00:58:27,086 Fine. 1361 00:58:27,254 --> 00:58:31,007 Okay, guys. Why don't we start off with a little bit of word association? 1362 00:58:31,175 --> 00:58:32,216 Okay. 1363 00:58:32,384 --> 00:58:33,384 This is exciting. 1364 00:58:33,552 --> 00:58:35,511 I've heard this can really open a couple up. 1365 00:58:36,263 --> 00:58:39,640 Uh, Maggie, I'm going to offer you a word, 1366 00:58:39,808 --> 00:58:43,686 and you respond however you're moved to from here. 1367 00:58:43,854 --> 00:58:44,896 Okay. 1368 00:58:45,064 --> 00:58:46,314 - Black. - White. 1369 00:58:46,482 --> 00:58:47,940 - Water. - Ocean. 1370 00:58:48,108 --> 00:58:50,359 - Sunshine. - Happy. 1371 00:58:50,986 --> 00:58:53,488 - I'm very impressed, Maggie. - Really? 1372 00:58:53,655 --> 00:58:54,906 You're very in tune. 1373 00:58:55,491 --> 00:58:56,866 I'm very in tune. 1374 00:58:57,034 --> 00:58:59,118 Calvin, you're next. 1375 00:58:59,286 --> 00:59:00,953 I do not want to do this. 1376 00:59:01,288 --> 00:59:03,790 Relax, Calvin. There are no wrong answers. 1377 00:59:03,957 --> 00:59:04,957 Up. 1378 00:59:06,627 --> 00:59:07,668 Down. 1379 00:59:08,295 --> 00:59:09,295 Mmm. 1380 00:59:10,214 --> 00:59:11,380 "Mmm. " What is that? 1381 00:59:11,757 --> 00:59:12,632 What're you writing in your book? 1382 00:59:12,800 --> 00:59:14,133 - It's fine. Don't freak out. - Nobody's freaking out. 1383 00:59:14,301 --> 00:59:15,968 I just don't understand the rules to the game. 1384 00:59:16,136 --> 00:59:17,303 Freaking out. 1385 00:59:18,263 --> 00:59:20,181 Let's switch gears for a second, okay? 1386 00:59:21,642 --> 00:59:23,309 Maggie, during lovemaking, 1387 00:59:24,937 --> 00:59:27,980 have you ever placed anything inside of Calvin's anus? 1388 00:59:28,148 --> 00:59:29,482 What the hell did you just say? 1389 00:59:29,650 --> 00:59:31,526 Well, yeah, there was this one time. 1390 00:59:31,693 --> 00:59:33,861 - You remember? Game of Thrones finale. - What are you talking about? 1391 00:59:34,029 --> 00:59:36,072 I was Khaleesi, you were Littlefinger- 1392 00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:38,866 - Okay, all right, stop. That's enough. - Please, please, please. 1393 00:59:39,243 --> 00:59:42,537 Why don't we try a simple role-playing exercise? 1394 00:59:42,704 --> 00:59:44,539 Calvin, you be Calvin 1395 00:59:44,706 --> 00:59:47,125 and I will become Maggie. 1396 00:59:47,459 --> 00:59:48,793 (GASPS) Mmm. 1397 00:59:49,503 --> 00:59:50,837 I'm confused. 1398 00:59:55,509 --> 00:59:57,218 It's called "soul gazing. " 1399 00:59:57,386 --> 01:00:01,013 Stare into my soul and I'll stare into yours. 1400 01:00:01,723 --> 01:00:03,599 - Maggie, this- - Hey. Shh. 1401 01:00:03,767 --> 01:00:05,852 There's no talking, and don't look away. 1402 01:00:06,019 --> 01:00:07,353 (WHISPERS) Stare into my soul. 1403 01:00:07,896 --> 01:00:08,980 You are not my- 1404 01:00:09,148 --> 01:00:10,189 Shh. There's no talking. 1405 01:00:10,691 --> 01:00:12,233 Babe, I'm not staring- 1406 01:00:12,693 --> 01:00:15,695 (WHISPERS) Me and you. Stay with me. I'm your wife. 1407 01:00:15,863 --> 01:00:17,530 - You are not my wife. - (BOTH EXCLAIMING) 1408 01:00:17,698 --> 01:00:18,698 (GASPS) 1409 01:00:20,033 --> 01:00:21,409 How could you hit your wife? 1410 01:00:21,994 --> 01:00:23,244 How can I- How can I what? 1411 01:00:23,412 --> 01:00:24,996 - You hit your wife! - No- 1412 01:00:25,164 --> 01:00:26,164 - He hit me! - Okay. 1413 01:00:26,331 --> 01:00:27,331 - He hit you! - Okay. 1414 01:00:27,499 --> 01:00:28,749 You hit us! 1415 01:00:33,380 --> 01:00:35,089 - I'm swaddling you. - I know what you're doing. 1416 01:00:35,257 --> 01:00:36,632 - I'm swaddling you. - I know what you're... 1417 01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:37,800 Come here. 1418 01:00:38,343 --> 01:00:39,510 Oh, my God! 1419 01:00:39,970 --> 01:00:40,970 You- 1420 01:00:42,097 --> 01:00:44,515 You know what? We're leaving! Let's go! 1421 01:00:45,017 --> 01:00:46,642 This is not real. 1422 01:00:46,810 --> 01:00:48,352 It's real to me. 1423 01:00:48,520 --> 01:00:49,729 You know what, Calvin? 1424 01:00:49,897 --> 01:00:52,023 If you can't commit to working on our marriage, 1425 01:00:52,191 --> 01:00:53,816 then you need to let me know. 1426 01:00:53,984 --> 01:00:55,318 - Maggie, you- - (DOOR OPENS) 1427 01:00:56,153 --> 01:00:57,236 (CHUCKLING) 1428 01:00:57,613 --> 01:00:59,238 - What! - Oh, my God! 1429 01:00:59,406 --> 01:01:00,531 You're- Something's not right. 1430 01:01:00,741 --> 01:01:03,701 Come on, Jet, listen. Come on, come on, Jet! 1431 01:01:03,869 --> 01:01:05,828 Now, I know things got a little rough there at the end. 1432 01:01:05,996 --> 01:01:08,247 But the truth is, with all the heat that you have coming down on you, 1433 01:01:08,415 --> 01:01:10,333 Maggie is definitely safer without you. 1434 01:01:11,418 --> 01:01:13,669 And, trust me, when this whole thing is said and done 1435 01:01:13,837 --> 01:01:15,379 and you basically save the entire free world, 1436 01:01:15,547 --> 01:01:17,965 she's going to forgive you. It'll all work itself out. 1437 01:01:18,133 --> 01:01:19,550 It'll all work itself out? 1438 01:01:20,344 --> 01:01:22,261 Okay, Bob, you know, I'm sick of playing games with you. 1439 01:01:22,429 --> 01:01:23,846 Where's the real Dr. Dan? 1440 01:01:24,598 --> 01:01:25,681 - (MUMBLING) - What-what? 1441 01:01:25,849 --> 01:01:28,768 Oh, my- Dr. Dan, I had nothing to do with this. 1442 01:01:28,936 --> 01:01:30,228 He's fine. I'll get you some water in a little bit. 1443 01:01:30,395 --> 01:01:32,647 - Thanks, doc. - You know- 1444 01:01:32,898 --> 01:01:34,815 That's it. That is it. 1445 01:01:34,983 --> 01:01:36,651 That is it. 1446 01:01:38,028 --> 01:01:39,070 All right, Jet. 1447 01:01:39,238 --> 01:01:41,239 I see that Harris has given you a button to push. 1448 01:01:42,199 --> 01:01:44,784 Relax, I would've taken the same deal, too, if I was in your shoes. 1449 01:01:44,952 --> 01:01:47,286 Otherwise, she wouldn't let you out of her sight, right? 1450 01:01:47,454 --> 01:01:48,871 It makes perfect sense. 1451 01:01:50,082 --> 01:01:51,749 But you're not going to press the button, right? 1452 01:01:53,126 --> 01:01:55,169 You got the top-secret satellite codes? 1453 01:01:55,712 --> 01:01:56,963 Yes or no? 1454 01:01:57,130 --> 01:01:58,923 This ain't the time to bullshit me. 1455 01:01:59,091 --> 01:02:00,800 Okay, my ass is sweating. 1456 01:02:00,968 --> 01:02:02,218 I'm nervous. Don't bullshit me! 1457 01:02:02,386 --> 01:02:04,470 Of course not, dude. Hey, hey, come on! 1458 01:02:04,638 --> 01:02:05,972 Of course I don't have the codes. 1459 01:02:06,139 --> 01:02:07,598 Why would I go through all this trouble, then? 1460 01:02:07,766 --> 01:02:10,017 I need your skill set, Jet, to help me get 1461 01:02:10,185 --> 01:02:12,270 the bank transaction numbers to the winning bid. 1462 01:02:12,437 --> 01:02:14,105 We already know it's going down tonight 1463 01:02:14,273 --> 01:02:15,648 from the countdown on your computer. 1464 01:02:15,816 --> 01:02:17,275 Now, all we need is the "where. " 1465 01:02:17,734 --> 01:02:19,902 And the bank transaction numbers will give us the "where. " 1466 01:02:20,070 --> 01:02:21,279 That's why I need you. 1467 01:02:21,446 --> 01:02:22,780 Your job gives you access to 1468 01:02:22,948 --> 01:02:24,699 exactly that kind of information. 1469 01:02:24,866 --> 01:02:26,951 Then we can get The Badger, we can get the buyer 1470 01:02:27,119 --> 01:02:28,202 in one fell swoop. 1471 01:02:28,370 --> 01:02:30,079 And it'll all be over tonight. 1472 01:02:30,289 --> 01:02:31,497 Please, I swear. 1473 01:02:31,665 --> 01:02:33,124 You gotta believe me. 1474 01:02:43,010 --> 01:02:45,094 Can't you just get us the transaction number? 1475 01:02:45,470 --> 01:02:47,763 Not when the money originates from an offshore account. 1476 01:02:47,931 --> 01:02:48,931 When that happens, 1477 01:02:49,099 --> 01:02:51,267 then only a certified international banking official can access it. 1478 01:02:51,435 --> 01:02:53,519 But, it shouldn't be a problem. We just give this guy 1479 01:02:53,687 --> 01:02:55,438 the offshore account numbers that you gave me, 1480 01:02:55,605 --> 01:02:57,064 then he can give us the transaction number 1481 01:02:57,232 --> 01:02:59,400 without knowing that he's committing treason when he does it. 1482 01:02:59,568 --> 01:03:00,776 Sound familiar? 1483 01:03:00,944 --> 01:03:02,987 Ouch! Low blow, CJ. 1484 01:03:03,155 --> 01:03:05,072 Hey, besides, it's only treason if we're wrong. 1485 01:03:05,240 --> 01:03:06,574 Who's this mystery man? 1486 01:03:07,951 --> 01:03:08,951 It's Trevor. 1487 01:03:09,536 --> 01:03:10,786 (LAUGHING) 1488 01:03:13,665 --> 01:03:14,790 Trevor. 1489 01:03:17,586 --> 01:03:19,170 TREVOR: This week just keeps getting better. 1490 01:03:19,421 --> 01:03:20,629 You know, I mean, 1491 01:03:20,964 --> 01:03:24,300 Robbie Wheirdicht and Calvin "The Golden Jet" Joyner in my office. 1492 01:03:24,468 --> 01:03:26,427 Who would've thunk it? Not me. 1493 01:03:26,595 --> 01:03:28,429 This is great, huh? 1494 01:03:28,597 --> 01:03:30,598 Talk about caterpillar to the butterfly... 1495 01:03:30,766 --> 01:03:32,683 What is this? P90X? 1496 01:03:32,851 --> 01:03:35,728 More like "P1,000,000X," huh? 1497 01:03:35,896 --> 01:03:37,438 Congratulations. 1498 01:03:37,898 --> 01:03:39,357 CALVIN: (STAMMERS) Hey, I, um- 1499 01:03:39,524 --> 01:03:40,941 I really appreciate the help, Trevor. 1500 01:03:41,109 --> 01:03:43,361 My client's all on me to get this stuff handled right away. 1501 01:03:43,528 --> 01:03:44,695 So, you know, if we could- 1502 01:03:44,863 --> 01:03:46,781 Say no more. It's my pleasure. I've been there. 1503 01:03:46,948 --> 01:03:48,449 These international accounts can be very, very tricky 1504 01:03:48,617 --> 01:03:49,658 if you don't have the right clearances. 1505 01:03:49,826 --> 01:03:51,619 You can get a bunch of digital red tape. 1506 01:03:51,995 --> 01:03:53,954 I'm happy to help, you know? 1507 01:03:54,122 --> 01:03:55,164 Robbie. 1508 01:03:55,332 --> 01:03:57,124 You're such a blast from the past, buddy. 1509 01:03:57,292 --> 01:03:58,292 How long has it been since I saw you? 1510 01:03:58,460 --> 01:03:59,460 Was it high school? 1511 01:04:00,504 --> 01:04:01,504 (WHIMPERING) 1512 01:04:02,464 --> 01:04:03,464 What's that? 1513 01:04:03,632 --> 01:04:06,092 (STUTTERS) Um- How we doing with those account access codes? 1514 01:04:06,259 --> 01:04:07,259 - Are they coming? - TREVOR: It's coming. 1515 01:04:07,427 --> 01:04:08,677 - Everything's good? - It's coming. 1516 01:04:08,845 --> 01:04:11,263 I'm going as fast as I can. I know you guys are in a rush. I'm so sorry. 1517 01:04:11,431 --> 01:04:13,474 Anything for a couple of fellow Centaurs. 1518 01:04:13,642 --> 01:04:16,394 Speaking of which, you guys are going to the reunion tonight, right? 1519 01:04:18,438 --> 01:04:20,147 No, I don't think so. 1520 01:04:20,315 --> 01:04:21,482 - You're both going. - (COMPUTER CHIMES) 1521 01:04:21,650 --> 01:04:23,359 Here it is. Here's your transaction number. 1522 01:04:23,527 --> 01:04:25,111 You're both going because you want to know what? 1523 01:04:25,278 --> 01:04:26,529 Stinky Pete's going to be there. 1524 01:04:26,696 --> 01:04:29,615 And Jimmy Longballs called me. He's going to be hanging. 1525 01:04:30,367 --> 01:04:33,285 Carlos Nagasaki, the Mexican eggroll. He's going to be there. 1526 01:04:33,787 --> 01:04:35,788 You guys will be missing out on a big one. 1527 01:04:35,956 --> 01:04:37,123 Plus you know what they're going to do? 1528 01:04:37,290 --> 01:04:39,291 They're going to vote on homecoming king and queen again. 1529 01:04:39,459 --> 01:04:41,043 Maybe you and Maggie can make it two for two. 1530 01:04:41,378 --> 01:04:43,504 Now, before you go, stay seated one second. 1531 01:04:43,672 --> 01:04:45,339 Give me two minutes, sit down. 1532 01:04:46,049 --> 01:04:47,633 (SIGHS) Men, 1533 01:04:48,176 --> 01:04:49,468 a few years ago... 1534 01:04:50,679 --> 01:04:52,638 (SIGHS) I found the Lord Almighty. 1535 01:04:52,806 --> 01:04:53,806 And, ever since then, 1536 01:04:53,974 --> 01:04:56,809 my life has been completely different. Okay? 1537 01:04:56,977 --> 01:04:59,311 He's got a plan for each and every one of us 1538 01:04:59,479 --> 01:05:01,355 and, in his infinite wisdom, 1539 01:05:01,523 --> 01:05:03,774 he makes no mistakes. Hmm? 1540 01:05:04,317 --> 01:05:05,651 You're right about that. 1541 01:05:05,819 --> 01:05:06,986 I think the Lord put you here because 1542 01:05:07,154 --> 01:05:08,529 he wants me to get something off my chest. 1543 01:05:08,697 --> 01:05:09,989 He wants me to clear my conscience 1544 01:05:10,157 --> 01:05:11,699 and he wants me to ask for forgiveness. 1545 01:05:11,867 --> 01:05:12,867 Robert. 1546 01:05:13,076 --> 01:05:15,536 What I did to you at that rally in senior year 1547 01:05:15,704 --> 01:05:17,163 was a cowardly act. 1548 01:05:17,330 --> 01:05:19,665 It's something that I've regretted every single day. 1549 01:05:19,833 --> 01:05:22,835 Yeah. I mean, bullying is a national crisis. 1550 01:05:23,003 --> 01:05:27,339 It can leave people with a lifetime of pain. 1551 01:05:27,507 --> 01:05:30,968 And I just have no excuse for what I did to you. 1552 01:05:31,136 --> 01:05:33,387 I mean, I did grow up in a house with a father who was physical, 1553 01:05:33,555 --> 01:05:35,890 but that doesn't give me the right to take it out on somebody 1554 01:05:36,057 --> 01:05:38,517 who at the time was weaker, you know? So... 1555 01:05:38,894 --> 01:05:41,979 Calvin, with this particular transgression, 1556 01:05:42,147 --> 01:05:45,691 I not only embarrassed him but I also ruined your final speech. 1557 01:05:45,859 --> 01:05:47,485 - No, no. - Yes, I did. 1558 01:05:47,652 --> 01:05:49,945 - It's okay. No, it's okay. - No, really, I stole your thunder. 1559 01:05:50,113 --> 01:05:52,531 And it's another thing that I've had to live with every single day. 1560 01:05:52,699 --> 01:05:55,534 And I work through it in individual therapy as well as group, 1561 01:05:55,702 --> 01:05:57,411 and I pray about it. 1562 01:05:59,206 --> 01:06:00,331 So... 1563 01:06:03,710 --> 01:06:07,922 I just want to say how truly sorry I am 1564 01:06:08,089 --> 01:06:10,591 for what happened, you know. 1565 01:06:10,759 --> 01:06:12,218 Or for what I did. 1566 01:06:12,385 --> 01:06:13,677 It didn't just happen. I did it. 1567 01:06:13,845 --> 01:06:16,555 I did it, and I wish to God that I had not done it. 1568 01:06:17,098 --> 01:06:20,184 So, I'm hoping that you can find it in your heart 1569 01:06:21,394 --> 01:06:23,270 to forgive me. 1570 01:06:25,065 --> 01:06:27,191 I wasn't expecting this at all. 1571 01:06:27,359 --> 01:06:29,026 Don't I know it. I know it. 1572 01:06:30,237 --> 01:06:31,737 I'm just so happy. 1573 01:06:32,822 --> 01:06:34,406 I don't know what to say. 1574 01:06:35,158 --> 01:06:36,742 How about you say... 1575 01:06:38,245 --> 01:06:42,206 "The Oscar goes to Trevor Olson. " 1576 01:06:45,627 --> 01:06:47,253 - What do you mean? - (LAUGHING) 1577 01:06:55,387 --> 01:06:56,679 Weird Dick! 1578 01:06:56,846 --> 01:06:58,430 You stupid ass! 1579 01:06:58,598 --> 01:07:00,266 Good God, you're dumb! 1580 01:07:00,433 --> 01:07:02,351 Dumber than ever, I guess! 1581 01:07:02,519 --> 01:07:04,270 And you, too, Calvin! 1582 01:07:04,437 --> 01:07:07,064 Look at that stupid look on those two faces. 1583 01:07:07,232 --> 01:07:10,067 "The Lord taught me to care. " Unbelievable. 1584 01:07:10,235 --> 01:07:13,529 I'm a Scientologist. Okay, that's "A." 1585 01:07:13,697 --> 01:07:15,948 And thetan-free since 2003. 1586 01:07:16,116 --> 01:07:17,116 Clear as shit. 1587 01:07:17,284 --> 01:07:18,534 And "I'm sorry for what I did"? 1588 01:07:18,702 --> 01:07:19,910 Let me tell you what I'm sorry about. 1589 01:07:20,078 --> 01:07:22,454 I'm sorry I didn't toss your naked ass out there three more times. 1590 01:07:22,622 --> 01:07:23,956 It was the best senior prank ever. 1591 01:07:24,124 --> 01:07:25,583 I still get emails about it. 1592 01:07:25,834 --> 01:07:27,668 And if I'd had one of these bad boys back then, 1593 01:07:27,836 --> 01:07:29,169 I would have shot it, uploaded it, 1594 01:07:29,337 --> 01:07:31,755 and it would have gone crazy viral, a zillion hits. 1595 01:07:31,923 --> 01:07:32,965 Know what? 1596 01:07:33,133 --> 01:07:34,717 You're going to regret you ever opened your mouth. 1597 01:07:34,884 --> 01:07:37,261 - You hear me, Trevor? - Yeah? How come, Calvin? 1598 01:07:37,429 --> 01:07:38,929 Because he's about to whoop your ass, that's why. 1599 01:07:39,097 --> 01:07:40,097 Who is? 1600 01:07:40,265 --> 01:07:41,307 Bob, get up and whoop his ass. 1601 01:07:41,474 --> 01:07:43,559 Here she comes! Let me tell you something... 1602 01:07:43,727 --> 01:07:46,604 Weird Dick can't chug a bunch of fucking steroids and elk urine 1603 01:07:46,771 --> 01:07:48,647 and suddenly be able to kick my ass. 1604 01:07:48,815 --> 01:07:50,816 Fuck that! It ain't gonna happen. 1605 01:07:51,151 --> 01:07:52,443 'Cause here's why. 1606 01:07:53,820 --> 01:07:57,364 Once a fat kid, always a fat kid. 1607 01:07:57,866 --> 01:07:58,991 Huh? Prove me wrong. 1608 01:07:59,159 --> 01:08:00,701 Bob, come on. Do what you did in the bar. 1609 01:08:11,630 --> 01:08:13,714 Come on, hit me! 1610 01:08:13,882 --> 01:08:16,175 And I'll sue your ass, and take your fanny pack away. 1611 01:08:16,551 --> 01:08:17,551 (BLOWS) 1612 01:08:18,261 --> 01:08:19,720 You got to make poopies? 1613 01:08:20,096 --> 01:08:21,096 What's wrong, Bob? 1614 01:08:21,264 --> 01:08:22,306 We got a john here. 1615 01:08:22,849 --> 01:08:24,683 Or you got to change your rag? 1616 01:08:25,393 --> 01:08:26,393 Maybe that's it. 1617 01:08:26,770 --> 01:08:28,520 Jenny, you got an extra rag? 1618 01:08:29,731 --> 01:08:31,732 - What's the matter with you? - I just want to go. 1619 01:08:31,900 --> 01:08:33,150 She wants to go. 1620 01:08:33,860 --> 01:08:35,861 Go ahead. There you go. 1621 01:08:36,488 --> 01:08:37,571 No, it's a push. 1622 01:08:37,739 --> 01:08:39,907 Boy, 50-50 shot. You missed that. 1623 01:08:40,075 --> 01:08:41,408 At least you found the handle. 1624 01:08:41,576 --> 01:08:44,036 Boy, he's still a scared little bitch. 1625 01:08:44,204 --> 01:08:45,537 You know, you're still an asshole. 1626 01:08:45,705 --> 01:08:47,748 Yeah, well, you're still shorter than my cat. 1627 01:08:48,541 --> 01:08:49,708 Here's your transaction number. 1628 01:08:50,085 --> 01:08:51,543 Hit it, dick licker. 1629 01:08:53,213 --> 01:08:55,172 - (CLEARS THROAT) Thank you, Trevor. - Yup. 1630 01:08:56,132 --> 01:08:57,841 Glad to see you haven't changed a bit. 1631 01:08:58,009 --> 01:08:59,009 Bye-bye now. 1632 01:08:59,177 --> 01:09:00,427 - Was it push or pull? - Clean push. 1633 01:09:00,595 --> 01:09:02,137 - Which one is it? - You want me to do it for you? 1634 01:09:02,305 --> 01:09:03,305 Which one is it? 1635 01:09:04,557 --> 01:09:07,101 Hey, hey, hey! Goddamn it, Joyner! 1636 01:09:07,268 --> 01:09:08,435 Jenny! 1637 01:09:08,603 --> 01:09:11,480 Jenny, get the Windex! And security for this one. 1638 01:09:11,648 --> 01:09:13,899 Get your asshole off my door! That's it! 1639 01:09:15,485 --> 01:09:17,361 Bob! Bob! 1640 01:09:17,695 --> 01:09:19,530 Bob! Bob! Bob! 1641 01:09:20,657 --> 01:09:21,657 (SIGHS) 1642 01:09:24,619 --> 01:09:25,953 (CELL PHONE BUZZING) 1643 01:09:26,621 --> 01:09:28,831 Mr. Joyner. Guess who we're about to arrest 1644 01:09:28,998 --> 01:09:30,958 for conspiracy to commit treason. 1645 01:09:33,711 --> 01:09:36,213 That's right. Your lovely wife. 1646 01:09:36,381 --> 01:09:38,173 So, here's what you're going to do. 1647 01:09:38,341 --> 01:09:40,884 You're going to tell us exactly where you and Bob are. 1648 01:09:41,052 --> 01:09:43,345 Then you're going to go outside and you're going to keep Bob on-site 1649 01:09:43,513 --> 01:09:44,555 until we arrive. 1650 01:09:44,806 --> 01:09:47,015 And if he leaves, you lose. 1651 01:09:47,767 --> 01:09:49,309 Is that clear? 1652 01:09:54,858 --> 01:09:55,858 Oh, hey. 1653 01:09:56,025 --> 01:09:57,276 I don't know what happened in there, 1654 01:09:57,444 --> 01:09:58,610 and I just froze up. 1655 01:09:58,778 --> 01:10:00,446 I locked up. I'm sorry. 1656 01:10:00,989 --> 01:10:02,030 Look, Bob, I... 1657 01:10:02,198 --> 01:10:04,575 No, I gotta tell you something, CJ, listen. 1658 01:10:04,742 --> 01:10:06,577 You're the only one who's ever been nice to me, 1659 01:10:06,744 --> 01:10:08,620 the only one who's never laughed at me. 1660 01:10:08,788 --> 01:10:11,915 And you're the only one in this whole world that I trust. 1661 01:10:12,083 --> 01:10:14,042 And I know you have a lot of friends, 1662 01:10:16,588 --> 01:10:17,629 but I don't. 1663 01:10:19,424 --> 01:10:20,799 You're my only friend, Calvin. 1664 01:10:21,468 --> 01:10:24,094 And I will never let you down again, I promise. 1665 01:10:25,847 --> 01:10:27,389 I'm sorry, man. 1666 01:10:31,060 --> 01:10:32,186 Sorry for what? 1667 01:10:32,353 --> 01:10:34,021 I told Harris where we are. 1668 01:10:35,064 --> 01:10:36,648 They were going to hurt Maggie. 1669 01:10:36,816 --> 01:10:38,775 I had to. I didn't have a choice. 1670 01:10:39,277 --> 01:10:40,402 I'm sorry. 1671 01:10:41,571 --> 01:10:43,780 - (TIRES SCREECHING) - (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 1672 01:10:45,492 --> 01:10:47,409 Freeze, Bob! Hands on your head! 1673 01:10:47,577 --> 01:10:48,577 Do it now! 1674 01:10:58,796 --> 01:11:01,006 (INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER) 1675 01:11:19,108 --> 01:11:20,651 I know you know how this goes, 1676 01:11:20,818 --> 01:11:22,319 so I'll spare you the dramatics. 1677 01:11:22,487 --> 01:11:24,571 I'll ask you just once. 1678 01:11:24,739 --> 01:11:26,949 Where are the satellite encryption codes? 1679 01:11:29,077 --> 01:11:31,119 Aw. What's the matter, Bob? 1680 01:11:31,829 --> 01:11:34,998 Are you upset that your friend turned you in? 1681 01:11:35,542 --> 01:11:37,209 I don't have any friends. 1682 01:11:37,377 --> 01:11:39,044 Okay, I don't want to watch this, guys. 1683 01:11:39,212 --> 01:11:40,587 Don't worry, it'll be over quick. 1684 01:11:40,755 --> 01:11:42,339 She always gets them to break. 1685 01:11:42,507 --> 01:11:44,883 AGENT HARRIS: (ON SPEAKER) Okay. You have it your way. 1686 01:11:45,051 --> 01:11:46,635 We're going to do this old-school. 1687 01:11:54,686 --> 01:11:56,603 Get the extraction tools. 1688 01:11:58,356 --> 01:12:00,315 The extraction tools? 1689 01:12:00,692 --> 01:12:02,651 If you don't have the stomach for it, you can go. 1690 01:12:03,444 --> 01:12:04,903 Come on. 1691 01:12:07,574 --> 01:12:08,615 Stop recording. 1692 01:12:14,330 --> 01:12:16,164 (BREATHES DEEPLY) 1693 01:12:18,793 --> 01:12:20,794 Why am I coming here? I was told I'd be able to leave. 1694 01:12:20,962 --> 01:12:22,045 You can leave, 1695 01:12:22,213 --> 01:12:23,630 when Agent Harris says you can leave, 1696 01:12:23,798 --> 01:12:24,881 which might be never. 1697 01:12:25,091 --> 01:12:26,425 I gotta watch this. 1698 01:12:28,303 --> 01:12:30,470 - (GROANING) - (BONE SNAPS) 1699 01:12:33,182 --> 01:12:34,433 (BOB CONTINUES GROANING) 1700 01:12:34,809 --> 01:12:36,310 (WHISPERS) I'm sorry, Bob. 1701 01:12:36,811 --> 01:12:38,061 I'm sorry, man. 1702 01:12:47,447 --> 01:12:48,822 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 1703 01:12:49,365 --> 01:12:50,741 (BOB CONTINUES GROANING) 1704 01:12:51,284 --> 01:12:52,409 Oh, Jesus! 1705 01:13:00,251 --> 01:13:01,251 What the hell? 1706 01:13:01,544 --> 01:13:02,544 (GROANS) 1707 01:13:02,795 --> 01:13:04,463 (EXCLAIMS) Hey! Hey! 1708 01:13:06,049 --> 01:13:07,049 Don't move! 1709 01:13:07,216 --> 01:13:09,635 You get your hands off! Get them off the keyboard! 1710 01:13:09,802 --> 01:13:11,762 - What are you doing, Calvin? - Give me your keycard! 1711 01:13:12,096 --> 01:13:13,597 Give me your keycard! 1712 01:13:14,182 --> 01:13:15,182 Give it to me. 1713 01:13:15,642 --> 01:13:16,683 - Okay... - Go sit down. 1714 01:13:16,851 --> 01:13:18,435 (SOFTLY) Okay. Yeah. 1715 01:13:18,603 --> 01:13:19,936 Sorry. I'm sorry. 1716 01:13:20,104 --> 01:13:22,105 - Sit down! Sit down! - Okay, okay, okay. 1717 01:13:22,273 --> 01:13:23,857 (BOB BREATHING HEAVILY) 1718 01:13:24,359 --> 01:13:25,359 You know, Bob? 1719 01:13:25,526 --> 01:13:28,153 This is actually my favorite part of the job. 1720 01:13:28,321 --> 01:13:30,572 Thank you for being so uncooperative. 1721 01:13:30,740 --> 01:13:32,199 What do you think your little buddy, Joyner, 1722 01:13:32,367 --> 01:13:33,742 would say if he could see you like this? 1723 01:13:34,118 --> 01:13:35,118 Two words. 1724 01:13:35,286 --> 01:13:36,328 I'm in. 1725 01:13:37,330 --> 01:13:39,164 What-what? 1726 01:13:39,499 --> 01:13:41,833 You're making a big mistake, Mr. Joyner. 1727 01:13:42,001 --> 01:13:43,960 That's only if I'm wrong. 1728 01:13:45,797 --> 01:13:47,339 Come on, Bob. Let's go! 1729 01:13:47,507 --> 01:13:49,341 What're you doing? Come on, man! 1730 01:13:49,676 --> 01:13:50,634 (PANTING) 1731 01:13:50,802 --> 01:13:53,011 Okay, listen to me. Bob, I'm sorry. 1732 01:13:53,179 --> 01:13:55,138 I'm sorry I double-crossed you. You hear me? 1733 01:13:55,306 --> 01:13:57,349 I should've believed you, I should've trusted you, and I didn't. 1734 01:13:57,517 --> 01:13:58,517 I'm sorry for that. 1735 01:13:58,685 --> 01:14:01,228 Listen to me. Bob, we don't have time for this, man! 1736 01:14:01,396 --> 01:14:03,522 I need you to tap into that super-spy stuff 1737 01:14:03,690 --> 01:14:06,608 and I need you to get us the hell out of here right now. Do you hear me? 1738 01:14:06,859 --> 01:14:08,610 I'm not a super spy, Calvin. 1739 01:14:09,696 --> 01:14:11,780 I'm Robbie Wheirdicht, super tool. 1740 01:14:11,948 --> 01:14:14,032 No, stop. You're not a super tool. 1741 01:14:14,200 --> 01:14:16,618 You're not even Robbie Wheirdicht. You're Bob Stone! 1742 01:14:17,203 --> 01:14:18,870 - (EXCLAIMS) I made that name up. - So what? 1743 01:14:19,038 --> 01:14:21,289 - It's not real. - What does that mean? What does that mean? 1744 01:14:21,457 --> 01:14:25,210 (STAMMERS) You think Mr. T and Sting were born with those names? 1745 01:14:26,921 --> 01:14:28,755 How do you think I got the name "Golden Jet" at high school? 1746 01:14:28,923 --> 01:14:31,842 - 'Cause you're awesome. - No, that's not how. 1747 01:14:32,719 --> 01:14:35,345 In the eighth grade, I ran track. It was my first race. 1748 01:14:35,513 --> 01:14:38,390 Okay, the race came down to me and this other kid. 1749 01:14:38,558 --> 01:14:40,058 I wanted to win the race so damn bad 1750 01:14:40,226 --> 01:14:42,394 that I ended up peeing in my pants at the finish line. 1751 01:14:42,645 --> 01:14:44,396 That's how I got the name "Golden Jet. " 1752 01:14:45,106 --> 01:14:48,024 So, take it from a guy who's literally pissed his pants in front of everybody 1753 01:14:48,192 --> 01:14:49,568 just to win a race. 1754 01:14:49,819 --> 01:14:51,737 You are who you decide to be. 1755 01:14:52,238 --> 01:14:54,990 And you chose to be an international CIA spy. 1756 01:14:55,366 --> 01:14:57,284 Come on, man. You get to kill people for a living. 1757 01:14:57,744 --> 01:14:58,744 How cool is that? 1758 01:15:00,913 --> 01:15:03,123 I don't know. (LAUGHS) 1759 01:15:03,416 --> 01:15:04,416 Kinda cool I guess. 1760 01:15:05,001 --> 01:15:07,127 What do you mean "kinda cool"? Ain't no kinda cool. 1761 01:15:07,462 --> 01:15:09,421 Stop it! It's awesome. 1762 01:15:09,756 --> 01:15:11,089 Now, come on, man. We boys? 1763 01:15:12,759 --> 01:15:13,759 - We're boys. - Oh! 1764 01:15:15,428 --> 01:15:16,428 Sorry, Jet. 1765 01:15:16,929 --> 01:15:18,597 - (BONES CRACKING) - Oh, God! 1766 01:15:19,515 --> 01:15:20,515 - (GROANS) - Oh, God! 1767 01:15:20,933 --> 01:15:22,517 See? Good as new. 1768 01:15:23,811 --> 01:15:25,645 Wow. Sorry, man. 1769 01:15:25,855 --> 01:15:27,147 (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 1770 01:15:29,567 --> 01:15:30,609 AGENT: Go, go! 1771 01:15:31,110 --> 01:15:32,152 - (ALARM BLARING) - Get me out! 1772 01:15:32,320 --> 01:15:34,196 He got the jump on us. Give me the key. 1773 01:15:37,617 --> 01:15:38,658 - (GRUNTING) - CALVIN: Look out, Bob! 1774 01:15:39,744 --> 01:15:41,870 Here, Jet! Get him! 1775 01:15:42,038 --> 01:15:43,455 Watch out! 1776 01:15:49,086 --> 01:15:50,337 (CHOKING) 1777 01:15:52,131 --> 01:15:53,465 Did you see that, Bob? 1778 01:15:53,633 --> 01:15:55,717 I did the thing! I did the thing, Bob! 1779 01:15:55,885 --> 01:15:56,885 Yeah! (LAUGHS) 1780 01:15:57,053 --> 01:15:58,970 Yeah! Yeah! 1781 01:15:59,222 --> 01:16:00,597 - Come on! Follow me! - Let's do it! 1782 01:16:00,765 --> 01:16:03,308 No! What the fuck am I doing? Here! You get the gun. 1783 01:16:03,476 --> 01:16:05,101 - I'm behind you. Go. - All right. 1784 01:16:07,313 --> 01:16:08,980 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1785 01:16:09,690 --> 01:16:11,525 Oh, my God. There's two of them. 1786 01:16:11,692 --> 01:16:14,110 Yeah, I'll distract them and you open the door, okay? 1787 01:16:14,278 --> 01:16:15,695 - What? No! - Let's roll. 1788 01:16:15,863 --> 01:16:16,905 No, no. 1789 01:16:18,866 --> 01:16:20,158 Go, go! 1790 01:16:20,868 --> 01:16:23,036 - Close in! - Moving out! 1791 01:16:23,204 --> 01:16:25,121 - Freeze, Bob! - Sorry about this, guys. 1792 01:16:25,665 --> 01:16:27,040 (MEN SCREAMING) 1793 01:16:28,292 --> 01:16:29,834 - BOB: Nope, come here. - (MAN SCREAMS) 1794 01:16:35,174 --> 01:16:36,174 (DOOR BEEPS) 1795 01:16:39,929 --> 01:16:41,179 Come on. 1796 01:16:41,347 --> 01:16:43,598 Wrong keycard, pal. Turn around. 1797 01:16:45,685 --> 01:16:46,851 You needed this one. 1798 01:16:47,019 --> 01:16:48,228 On the ground, now. 1799 01:16:48,396 --> 01:16:49,688 Can I say something first? 1800 01:16:49,855 --> 01:16:51,398 - What? - This is going to hurt. 1801 01:16:51,774 --> 01:16:52,857 - (BOB GRUNTS) - (CALVIN EXCLAIMS) 1802 01:16:53,025 --> 01:16:54,025 (GROANS LOUDLY) 1803 01:16:54,277 --> 01:16:56,444 - Hey, get the keycard! Let's roll. - All right, all right. 1804 01:16:59,198 --> 01:17:00,490 Which car are we taking? 1805 01:17:02,535 --> 01:17:03,577 Not that one. 1806 01:17:03,744 --> 01:17:05,370 Oh, my God. 1807 01:17:05,913 --> 01:17:07,706 Oh, God. Oh, sh- 1808 01:17:08,624 --> 01:17:09,624 Oh. 1809 01:17:09,959 --> 01:17:11,167 Here we go, Jet. 1810 01:17:13,296 --> 01:17:15,714 - Bob, they are shooting at us! - It's okay, it's bulletproof. 1811 01:17:15,881 --> 01:17:16,881 Drive, drive! 1812 01:17:20,052 --> 01:17:21,052 (WHISTLING) 1813 01:17:28,769 --> 01:17:29,978 (GRUNTS) Here you go, Jet. 1814 01:17:30,688 --> 01:17:31,688 What's this? 1815 01:17:31,856 --> 01:17:33,898 Bug-out bag, courtesy of the CIA. 1816 01:17:34,066 --> 01:17:35,400 Go ahead and grab that encrypted phone in there. 1817 01:17:35,568 --> 01:17:36,568 For what? 1818 01:17:36,736 --> 01:17:38,361 You still have the bank transaction code? 1819 01:17:38,529 --> 01:17:41,448 How are transaction numbers gonna help us find out where the bad guys are? 1820 01:17:41,616 --> 01:17:44,117 Well, it's not bank transaction numbers or codes, it's actually- 1821 01:17:44,285 --> 01:17:45,785 Longitude and latitude. 1822 01:17:47,204 --> 01:17:50,915 (LAUGHS) Look at the spy brain on the Jet! What-what! 1823 01:17:51,250 --> 01:17:53,460 You're like a chocolate Google. (MIMICS BEEPING) 1824 01:17:53,628 --> 01:17:55,670 - Bob, don't do that. Stop it. Stop it. - (SIGHS) 1825 01:17:55,838 --> 01:17:56,921 You're getting good at this, man. 1826 01:17:57,089 --> 01:17:58,923 Yeah, you're absolutely right. It's longitude and latitude. 1827 01:17:59,091 --> 01:18:02,510 All you gotta do is plug those digits into the GPS, and boom! 1828 01:18:02,720 --> 01:18:05,263 We're gonna catch the buyer and The Badger, just like that. 1829 01:18:07,433 --> 01:18:09,100 - (PHONE CHIMES) - Boston. 1830 01:18:12,647 --> 01:18:14,314 (SIGHS) We're gonna need a plane. 1831 01:18:27,703 --> 01:18:28,995 You ever steal a plane before? 1832 01:18:29,163 --> 01:18:31,456 - I stole some Starbursts one time. - Mmm-hmm. 1833 01:18:31,874 --> 01:18:33,958 So I don't know if that compares or anything, 1834 01:18:34,126 --> 01:18:35,543 but I wasn't successful with that. 1835 01:18:35,711 --> 01:18:36,836 On the way out, I dropped 'em. 1836 01:18:37,004 --> 01:18:38,213 Dropped the whole bag. The guy caught me. 1837 01:18:38,381 --> 01:18:40,006 "What's that?" I just said, "A Starburst. " 1838 01:18:40,174 --> 01:18:42,175 Told him myself. It was a mess. 1839 01:18:43,552 --> 01:18:44,552 (SNAPS FINGERS) 1840 01:18:44,970 --> 01:18:47,389 Check it out. The universe provides. 1841 01:18:49,934 --> 01:18:50,934 CALVIN: Oh. 1842 01:18:52,895 --> 01:18:53,895 Golden Jet. 1843 01:18:54,105 --> 01:18:55,522 - Golden Jet. - Golden Jet. 1844 01:18:59,443 --> 01:19:01,319 - It's just one guard in there. - All right. 1845 01:19:01,487 --> 01:19:03,113 90% of spy work is distraction. 1846 01:19:03,280 --> 01:19:04,322 You get in there and distract that guard, 1847 01:19:04,490 --> 01:19:05,573 I'm gonna get us a plane. 1848 01:19:06,283 --> 01:19:07,325 What? 1849 01:19:09,161 --> 01:19:10,620 I don't know what the hell you expect- 1850 01:19:13,082 --> 01:19:14,082 (WHISPERS) Bob! 1851 01:19:14,875 --> 01:19:15,875 Bob! 1852 01:19:16,502 --> 01:19:17,544 Fuck! 1853 01:19:18,170 --> 01:19:19,254 Fuck you, Bob! 1854 01:19:20,631 --> 01:19:21,631 Damn it! 1855 01:19:29,723 --> 01:19:32,058 Hey, I need a plane. 1856 01:19:32,226 --> 01:19:35,145 Sir, you cannot be in here. This is a private airfield. 1857 01:19:35,312 --> 01:19:37,856 I understand that but I have an organ in this cooler right now 1858 01:19:38,023 --> 01:19:40,024 that needs to get transported ASAP. 1859 01:19:40,734 --> 01:19:41,734 Really? 1860 01:19:41,902 --> 01:19:44,904 Because my sister-in-law had a heart transplant last year 1861 01:19:45,072 --> 01:19:47,907 and they did not bring it in a Playmate lunch cooler. 1862 01:19:48,075 --> 01:19:49,868 I hate to break it to you, 1863 01:19:50,035 --> 01:19:51,744 but this is not a... 1864 01:19:52,997 --> 01:19:54,080 - This is not a heart. - It's not a heart? 1865 01:19:55,374 --> 01:19:56,416 No, it's not. 1866 01:19:56,584 --> 01:19:57,792 Hmm. What is it then? 1867 01:19:58,878 --> 01:20:01,045 - It's a dick. - Okay. 1868 01:20:02,590 --> 01:20:04,466 I am made of questions right now. 1869 01:20:04,633 --> 01:20:05,925 Well, you don't have to ask. 1870 01:20:06,093 --> 01:20:07,886 Last night, lady got into it with a man. 1871 01:20:08,053 --> 01:20:09,721 She ended up cutting his pecker off. 1872 01:20:09,889 --> 01:20:11,764 She left with it, got in a car, drove, 1873 01:20:11,932 --> 01:20:13,892 got on 95, threw it out the window. 1874 01:20:14,226 --> 01:20:17,061 The second largest penis hunt in the state history. 1875 01:20:17,229 --> 01:20:18,563 The man was Korean, so you better believe 1876 01:20:18,731 --> 01:20:19,981 it took a long time to find. 1877 01:20:20,608 --> 01:20:22,484 JARED: You're stereotyping Korean dicks. 1878 01:20:22,651 --> 01:20:23,735 That's racist. 1879 01:20:23,903 --> 01:20:25,653 I've seen Korean dicks bigger than you. 1880 01:20:25,821 --> 01:20:28,364 Okay, after finding it, the guy brought it to me, 1881 01:20:28,532 --> 01:20:31,367 and he said, "Do your due diligence in getting this dick where it's got to go. " 1882 01:20:31,535 --> 01:20:32,785 That's what I do. 1883 01:20:32,953 --> 01:20:35,288 I'm a dick deliverer specialist. 1884 01:20:35,706 --> 01:20:36,706 Oh, DDS? 1885 01:20:36,957 --> 01:20:38,541 Like a dentist but for dicks. 1886 01:20:39,335 --> 01:20:40,335 Uh... 1887 01:20:41,003 --> 01:20:43,796 So, people are like, "Here's a dick. Find a plane. " 1888 01:20:44,632 --> 01:20:46,716 That's how you do it? You're like an Uber for dicks? 1889 01:20:47,009 --> 01:20:48,676 Where do you get these jobs? On Craigslist? 1890 01:20:48,844 --> 01:20:50,762 Okay, sir, we don't need to demean each other here. 1891 01:20:50,930 --> 01:20:52,263 I don't believe a word you're saying. 1892 01:20:52,932 --> 01:20:54,182 Let me see it. 1893 01:20:54,808 --> 01:20:56,559 I have no problem showing you this. 1894 01:20:56,727 --> 01:20:59,145 So if you wanna see it then get ready to see. 1895 01:20:59,522 --> 01:21:01,439 - Here I go. - Go for it. 1896 01:21:02,775 --> 01:21:05,610 - (HISSING) - Oh, shit! Oh, shit. 1897 01:21:05,778 --> 01:21:08,196 (SCREAMS) I'm just kidding. This is my friend. 1898 01:21:08,572 --> 01:21:10,240 - Oh! - It's my buddy. 1899 01:21:10,491 --> 01:21:12,283 His name's Snake Gyllenhaal. 1900 01:21:12,493 --> 01:21:14,494 - He guards my lunch. - Okay, that's enough. 1901 01:21:38,185 --> 01:21:39,602 It's gotta be Harris, right? 1902 01:21:40,896 --> 01:21:41,938 What do you mean? 1903 01:21:42,106 --> 01:21:43,648 I mean, she's gotta be The Black Badger. 1904 01:21:43,816 --> 01:21:44,941 It's the only thing that makes sense. 1905 01:21:45,109 --> 01:21:46,859 I mean, she's had access to the encryption codes 1906 01:21:47,027 --> 01:21:49,696 and she's so hot and bothered about pinning this whole thing on you. 1907 01:21:49,863 --> 01:21:50,947 It's gotta be her! 1908 01:21:51,115 --> 01:21:52,657 (SIGHS) I don't know, Jet. 1909 01:21:52,825 --> 01:21:54,701 I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm The Black Badger. 1910 01:21:54,868 --> 01:21:56,911 She worked me over pretty good in that interrogation room. 1911 01:21:57,079 --> 01:21:59,163 - (ENGINE SPUTTERING) - Hold on, wait, wait... What's going on? 1912 01:21:59,540 --> 01:22:01,958 What's that? What's going on right now, Bob? 1913 01:22:02,126 --> 01:22:04,294 - (ALARM BLARING) - No biggie. We're completely outta gas. 1914 01:22:04,461 --> 01:22:05,962 Oh, my- Oh! 1915 01:22:06,714 --> 01:22:07,714 (SCREAMING) 1916 01:22:07,923 --> 01:22:10,216 We're going down, Jet! There's nothing I can do! 1917 01:22:10,384 --> 01:22:13,011 - Oh, shit! - Really quickly... 1918 01:22:13,178 --> 01:22:16,764 What's the one thing you wish you'd done in your life? 1919 01:22:16,932 --> 01:22:19,267 The one thing I wish I hadn't done is not get in a plane with a guy 1920 01:22:19,435 --> 01:22:21,352 who didn't check the goddamned fuel! 1921 01:22:21,520 --> 01:22:24,480 - Why wouldn't you check the fuel? - No, something that's real. 1922 01:22:24,648 --> 01:22:27,066 What's the one thing you regret not doing for you? 1923 01:22:27,234 --> 01:22:29,402 Oh, my God! I think we're gonna die! 1924 01:22:29,778 --> 01:22:31,195 (WAILING) 1925 01:22:34,116 --> 01:22:36,075 Not having a kid, man! 1926 01:22:36,619 --> 01:22:37,785 Not being a father! 1927 01:22:37,953 --> 01:22:40,330 I regret not being a father! 1928 01:22:40,497 --> 01:22:42,373 Maggie, I should've gave you a kid! 1929 01:22:42,541 --> 01:22:45,001 I should've gave you my seed, Maggie! 1930 01:22:45,169 --> 01:22:46,544 I should've! 1931 01:22:46,712 --> 01:22:48,087 I'm so selfish! 1932 01:22:48,255 --> 01:22:49,255 (ENGINE TURNS ON) 1933 01:22:49,465 --> 01:22:51,466 I'm sorry, Maggie! (CONTINUES CRYING) 1934 01:22:53,218 --> 01:22:54,218 (SIGHS) 1935 01:22:55,638 --> 01:22:57,930 - That wasn't so hard, right? - What? 1936 01:22:58,098 --> 01:22:59,807 Hey, just for the record, 1937 01:22:59,975 --> 01:23:01,643 I think you'd make a great dad. 1938 01:23:02,269 --> 01:23:04,062 Did you just fake this whole thing? 1939 01:23:04,772 --> 01:23:05,772 Yeah, kinda. 1940 01:23:05,939 --> 01:23:07,565 You gotta be shitting me glory! 1941 01:23:07,733 --> 01:23:09,192 No, not at all. 1942 01:23:09,360 --> 01:23:11,444 I just thought that maybe a facing-your-own-death situation 1943 01:23:11,612 --> 01:23:14,697 might help motivate you to clarify some of your goals in life. 1944 01:23:14,865 --> 01:23:16,407 And, hey, between me and you, 1945 01:23:16,867 --> 01:23:18,576 I know you've been struggling a little bit. 1946 01:23:18,994 --> 01:23:21,204 You know what I'm struggling with right now, Bob? 1947 01:23:21,372 --> 01:23:22,830 Not whooping your ass. 1948 01:23:22,998 --> 01:23:25,083 (CHUCKLES) Okay, Jet. Hey, you're really cute when you cry. 1949 01:23:25,250 --> 01:23:27,168 Stop it! Enough! 1950 01:23:40,808 --> 01:23:42,016 I don't get it. 1951 01:23:42,184 --> 01:23:43,226 I mean, if these coordinates are correct, 1952 01:23:43,394 --> 01:23:45,478 we should be standing right on top of it. 1953 01:23:45,646 --> 01:23:48,523 The deal doesn't go down for another 30 minutes, Jet, 1954 01:23:48,691 --> 01:23:51,192 - so we're kinda early. - No! 1955 01:23:51,360 --> 01:23:52,735 Why would you do it out in the open like this? 1956 01:23:52,903 --> 01:23:54,445 Why would you take that risk? 1957 01:23:54,613 --> 01:23:56,280 Just doesn't make any sense, man. 1958 01:23:57,616 --> 01:23:59,283 Shit! Come on. 1959 01:24:01,328 --> 01:24:02,370 Wait. 1960 01:24:04,039 --> 01:24:05,915 Oh, wait. It's not happening up here. 1961 01:24:07,710 --> 01:24:09,127 No, it's not. It's... 1962 01:24:12,005 --> 01:24:14,549 Oh, it's happening beneath us. Look. 1963 01:24:14,717 --> 01:24:16,592 It's an underground parking garage. 1964 01:24:17,511 --> 01:24:18,970 Yeah, that's a good eye, Jet. 1965 01:24:19,471 --> 01:24:21,723 Why don't you stay up here? Keep overwatch. 1966 01:24:21,890 --> 01:24:23,349 I'll go down there and check things out. 1967 01:24:23,517 --> 01:24:25,351 Wait, what? No, I'm going with you. 1968 01:24:25,519 --> 01:24:28,271 You can't go with me. The smarter play is if we split up. 1969 01:24:28,439 --> 01:24:29,647 Smarter play for who? 1970 01:24:30,065 --> 01:24:31,733 Do you know what happens when people split up, Bob? 1971 01:24:31,900 --> 01:24:32,942 Somebody dies! 1972 01:24:33,110 --> 01:24:34,527 I'd be the one to die. You know why? 1973 01:24:34,695 --> 01:24:37,071 Because I don't have a bulletproof vest and I don't have a gun! 1974 01:24:37,239 --> 01:24:38,865 Which means that you are my bulletproof vest! 1975 01:24:39,032 --> 01:24:41,451 My little black ass is gonna stay behind you, you're not leaving me! 1976 01:24:41,618 --> 01:24:43,494 That's exactly why you should stay up here. 1977 01:24:43,662 --> 01:24:45,997 Look, if you went down in that garage and you got shot to death, 1978 01:24:46,165 --> 01:24:47,331 you know how hurt I would be? 1979 01:24:47,499 --> 01:24:49,125 I'd be super bummed out! I don't want that. 1980 01:24:49,293 --> 01:24:50,877 It's safer for you up here. 1981 01:24:51,044 --> 01:24:52,920 If something happened up here, what am I supposed to do, Bob? 1982 01:24:53,088 --> 01:24:55,214 How do I get your attention? Make a bird call? 1983 01:24:55,382 --> 01:24:56,799 (SQUAWKING) 1984 01:24:57,509 --> 01:24:59,594 Does that sound like a bird to you? Huh? 1985 01:24:59,762 --> 01:25:01,637 That's my biggest weakness! I can't make bird noises. 1986 01:25:01,805 --> 01:25:02,847 I never could. 1987 01:25:03,015 --> 01:25:04,766 So if that's what I gotta depend on to live, 1988 01:25:04,933 --> 01:25:07,769 it means I'm gonna die! I'mma die up here, by myself 1989 01:25:07,936 --> 01:25:10,229 sounding like a dead-ass pigeon. 1990 01:25:10,689 --> 01:25:11,689 (CAWS) 1991 01:25:11,982 --> 01:25:14,609 - I have no idea what a pigeon- - Jet, Jet, Jet, Jet, Jet! 1992 01:25:14,777 --> 01:25:16,444 You don't have to make bird noises. 1993 01:25:16,612 --> 01:25:17,612 You don't have to sound like a pigeon. 1994 01:25:17,780 --> 01:25:20,615 All you gotta do is call me on the encrypted phone 1995 01:25:20,783 --> 01:25:22,617 that's in your hand. 1996 01:25:27,206 --> 01:25:28,539 - Okay? - Okay, yeah. 1997 01:25:29,041 --> 01:25:30,416 - I'll be right back. - Okay. 1998 01:25:30,584 --> 01:25:31,751 All right? 1999 01:25:32,002 --> 01:25:33,211 Oh, Jet. 2000 01:25:34,713 --> 01:25:36,380 I'll see you on the other side. 2001 01:25:37,257 --> 01:25:38,257 Yeah. 2002 01:25:38,550 --> 01:25:39,550 Yeah. 2003 01:25:44,890 --> 01:25:45,890 (ELEVATOR DINGS) 2004 01:25:48,060 --> 01:25:49,560 (GUN COCKS) 2005 01:26:05,702 --> 01:26:06,786 You're early. 2006 01:26:07,496 --> 01:26:09,080 So are you. 2007 01:26:11,708 --> 01:26:13,084 (EXHALES) Come on. 2008 01:26:23,762 --> 01:26:25,096 (WHISPERS) Oh, my God! 2009 01:26:28,934 --> 01:26:30,810 Oh, my God. 2010 01:26:31,645 --> 01:26:32,645 I knew it. 2011 01:26:32,813 --> 01:26:35,147 I knew it. I knew she was The Black Badger! 2012 01:26:35,315 --> 01:26:36,941 Oh, my God! 2013 01:26:37,484 --> 01:26:39,610 - Pick up the phone. Pick up the phone. - (LINE RINGS) 2014 01:26:39,778 --> 01:26:40,778 BOB: Yello? 2015 01:26:40,946 --> 01:26:43,573 Bob, Harris is The Black Badger! 2016 01:26:43,740 --> 01:26:44,740 Hello? 2017 01:26:45,117 --> 01:26:46,534 Harris is The Black Badger! 2018 01:26:46,702 --> 01:26:47,743 I can't hear you. 2019 01:26:47,911 --> 01:26:49,745 Harris is The Black Badger! 2020 01:26:49,913 --> 01:26:50,913 (BOB LAUGHS) 2021 01:26:51,123 --> 01:26:53,624 Just kidding! I'm not here. Leave a message at the beep. 2022 01:26:53,792 --> 01:26:54,792 - What? - (POP MUSIC PLAYING) 2023 01:26:54,960 --> 01:26:56,002 (BEEPING) 2024 01:26:58,672 --> 01:26:59,797 (GRUNTING) 2025 01:27:05,137 --> 01:27:06,637 Oh. Harris is The Black Badger! 2026 01:27:06,805 --> 01:27:08,431 Harris is The Black Badger! 2027 01:27:08,599 --> 01:27:10,933 I knew it. I knew it. Harris is The Black Badger! 2028 01:27:12,102 --> 01:27:14,228 Bob! Harris is The... 2029 01:27:14,396 --> 01:27:15,396 (GUNS COCKING) 2030 01:27:15,731 --> 01:27:16,731 Who is he? 2031 01:27:17,149 --> 01:27:18,149 That's my partner. 2032 01:27:32,039 --> 01:27:33,581 I don't like splitting my fees. 2033 01:27:35,292 --> 01:27:38,419 The package. Please. 2034 01:27:39,588 --> 01:27:41,255 Thought you'd never ask. 2035 01:27:41,465 --> 01:27:44,884 Wait! You're making a mistake. 2036 01:27:46,428 --> 01:27:48,137 Hello, Bob. 2037 01:27:49,806 --> 01:27:51,390 But you're dead. 2038 01:27:51,558 --> 01:27:53,601 Not as much as people think. 2039 01:27:54,353 --> 01:27:57,104 Look, he's not The Black Badger... 2040 01:27:57,814 --> 01:27:58,814 I am. 2041 01:27:58,982 --> 01:28:01,108 And those aren't the encryption codes, 2042 01:28:01,276 --> 01:28:02,610 these are. 2043 01:28:02,778 --> 01:28:03,861 He's lying to you. 2044 01:28:04,029 --> 01:28:05,529 This man is a CIA agent, 2045 01:28:05,864 --> 01:28:07,365 and he's trying to sell you bogus plans. 2046 01:28:11,787 --> 01:28:13,371 (GROANING SOFTLY) 2047 01:28:14,706 --> 01:28:15,748 Damn. 2048 01:28:17,709 --> 01:28:19,043 Ow, ow. 2049 01:28:22,631 --> 01:28:23,714 He shot me. 2050 01:28:27,636 --> 01:28:29,804 These are the real codes 2051 01:28:30,639 --> 01:28:32,223 and I am the real Black Badger. 2052 01:28:36,353 --> 01:28:37,853 (QUIETLY) Bob is The Black Badger. 2053 01:28:39,523 --> 01:28:40,690 (BREATHING DEEPLY) Bob is The Black Badger. 2054 01:28:40,857 --> 01:28:42,900 I am The Black Badger. 2055 01:28:43,402 --> 01:28:44,610 Phil? 2056 01:28:45,821 --> 01:28:48,406 No, I'm The Black Badger. 2057 01:28:48,573 --> 01:28:51,575 I'm starting to think I might be The Black Badger. 2058 01:28:51,743 --> 01:28:53,077 (ALL CHUCKLING) 2059 01:28:53,787 --> 01:28:55,454 Here's the thing. 2060 01:28:55,622 --> 01:28:58,708 I have no idea who is the real Black Badger. 2061 01:28:59,751 --> 01:29:01,293 And I don't care. 2062 01:29:01,461 --> 01:29:02,962 'Cause I'm The Honey Badger. 2063 01:29:03,130 --> 01:29:05,047 And The Honey Badger doesn't give a shit. 2064 01:29:05,215 --> 01:29:06,799 The Honey Badger's nasty. 2065 01:29:06,967 --> 01:29:09,635 He's so nasty, he'll take them both. 2066 01:29:10,178 --> 01:29:11,178 - (GUNS COCKING) - Hand them over. 2067 01:29:11,722 --> 01:29:13,931 Phil, when this thing is over, 2068 01:29:14,099 --> 01:29:18,102 I'm going to rip your throat out like Patrick Swayze in Road House. 2069 01:29:18,270 --> 01:29:19,645 PHIL: Oh, my God. You and Road House. 2070 01:29:19,813 --> 01:29:20,855 Get over that movie. 2071 01:29:21,022 --> 01:29:22,773 It sucked then, it sucks now. 2072 01:29:23,275 --> 01:29:24,608 Fuck Patrick Swayze! 2073 01:29:25,610 --> 01:29:26,736 How dare you! 2074 01:29:32,033 --> 01:29:33,451 Drop your weapons! 2075 01:29:35,203 --> 01:29:37,371 (MEN GROANING) 2076 01:29:39,207 --> 01:29:40,249 Oh! Oh, shit! 2077 01:29:52,554 --> 01:29:53,721 The codes. 2078 01:29:54,139 --> 01:29:55,222 Don't do it. 2079 01:29:55,891 --> 01:29:56,974 Stupid. 2080 01:29:57,392 --> 01:29:58,392 (EXHALES) 2081 01:29:59,394 --> 01:30:00,394 Okay. 2082 01:30:00,979 --> 01:30:01,979 One, 2083 01:30:03,023 --> 01:30:04,023 two, 2084 01:30:05,400 --> 01:30:06,400 three! Shit! 2085 01:30:08,612 --> 01:30:09,737 (CALVIN YELLS) 2086 01:30:11,740 --> 01:30:13,407 Uh-oh! Oh! 2087 01:30:13,909 --> 01:30:14,909 No! 2088 01:30:15,410 --> 01:30:16,535 He's got the codes! 2089 01:30:19,372 --> 01:30:20,372 (GRUNTING) 2090 01:30:22,751 --> 01:30:23,751 (TIRES SCREECHING) 2091 01:30:26,755 --> 01:30:28,506 - (PANTING) - (TIRES SCREECHING) 2092 01:30:29,633 --> 01:30:30,633 (GRUNTING) 2093 01:30:36,306 --> 01:30:38,682 - (PANTING) - (TIRES SCREECHING) 2094 01:30:39,726 --> 01:30:41,393 (GRUNTING) 2095 01:30:47,609 --> 01:30:48,609 (YELLS) 2096 01:30:51,530 --> 01:30:52,530 Whoo! 2097 01:30:52,948 --> 01:30:54,615 I mean, this is crazy, right? 2098 01:30:54,950 --> 01:30:56,116 You stay the hell away from me, Bob! 2099 01:30:56,284 --> 01:30:57,576 You shot me in the neck! 2100 01:31:00,580 --> 01:31:01,580 Jet! 2101 01:31:02,165 --> 01:31:03,165 (GROANS) 2102 01:31:15,220 --> 01:31:17,346 (PANTING) 2103 01:31:22,894 --> 01:31:23,936 Okay. 2104 01:31:28,316 --> 01:31:30,484 Golden Jet for the win! (LAUGHS) 2105 01:31:32,112 --> 01:31:33,654 No. Shit! 2106 01:31:33,822 --> 01:31:35,197 Drop your weapon, Bob. 2107 01:31:36,408 --> 01:31:37,408 Oh, shit! 2108 01:31:37,576 --> 01:31:39,118 Get behind me, Mr. Joyner. 2109 01:31:39,578 --> 01:31:40,911 Ah, you don't wanna do that, Jet. 2110 01:31:41,162 --> 01:31:42,454 It's obvious he's the bad guy. 2111 01:31:42,622 --> 01:31:44,081 I'm the good guy. You wanna get behind me. 2112 01:31:44,249 --> 01:31:46,083 Agent Harris had me go dark 2113 01:31:46,251 --> 01:31:49,336 to get Bob to reveal himself as The Black Badger. 2114 01:31:49,504 --> 01:31:51,130 You don't seriously believe this guy, do you? 2115 01:31:51,298 --> 01:31:52,423 You wanna get behind me, Jet. 2116 01:31:52,591 --> 01:31:54,300 You betrayed your nation, Bob. 2117 01:31:54,676 --> 01:31:57,011 You betrayed your partner, Phil. 2118 01:31:57,178 --> 01:32:00,514 Okay, no, wait! Everybody just stop! 2119 01:32:00,682 --> 01:32:01,724 Cut the shit! 2120 01:32:02,267 --> 01:32:03,934 I'mma cut the line right now! 2121 01:32:04,102 --> 01:32:05,477 I cut the shit! 2122 01:32:05,645 --> 01:32:07,521 Hear me? Now I don't care who betrayed who. 2123 01:32:07,689 --> 01:32:09,106 Okay? I just don't wanna get hurt! 2124 01:32:09,566 --> 01:32:12,067 - So there ain't gonna be no- Shit! - (GUNS FIRING) 2125 01:32:20,952 --> 01:32:21,952 (SOFTLY) Come on. 2126 01:32:22,621 --> 01:32:23,621 (GRUNTING) 2127 01:32:37,844 --> 01:32:38,844 Shi... 2128 01:32:43,516 --> 01:32:44,516 (SLOWLY) Shit. 2129 01:32:54,319 --> 01:32:55,319 (GROANS) 2130 01:33:00,617 --> 01:33:02,618 (PANTING) 2131 01:33:03,244 --> 01:33:05,329 Smart move, Mr. Joyner. 2132 01:33:05,497 --> 01:33:07,748 You've done your country a great service. 2133 01:33:07,916 --> 01:33:10,125 Now, hand me the firearm 2134 01:33:10,293 --> 01:33:13,504 and we'll turn over the satellite codes together. 2135 01:33:13,922 --> 01:33:17,508 Stay right there, man. Don't you take another step. 2136 01:33:17,759 --> 01:33:20,094 Just because I shot him does not mean I trust you. 2137 01:33:20,470 --> 01:33:21,637 We don't have time for this. 2138 01:33:21,846 --> 01:33:24,598 - Stop! I said, "Stop. " - (GUN CLICKS) 2139 01:33:25,350 --> 01:33:27,101 Aw, whoopsie. 2140 01:33:29,980 --> 01:33:30,980 (GRUNTS) 2141 01:33:31,314 --> 01:33:33,357 (SCOFFS) Nice throw, bitch. 2142 01:33:38,071 --> 01:33:42,616 You wanna know why your pal Bob could never have been The Black Badger? 2143 01:33:43,743 --> 01:33:45,869 It's because he's too weak. 2144 01:33:46,037 --> 01:33:48,372 And if I had to hear another goddamned story 2145 01:33:48,540 --> 01:33:51,709 about Calvin "The Golden Jet" Joyner 2146 01:33:51,876 --> 01:33:54,044 and how awesome you were in high school 2147 01:33:54,212 --> 01:33:56,797 and how you were this big idiot's best friend, 2148 01:33:56,965 --> 01:33:58,465 (CHUCKLES) I was just gonna lose it. 2149 01:33:59,759 --> 01:34:03,095 Looking at you right now, you don't seem so cool. 2150 01:34:03,263 --> 01:34:06,724 You just seem like a regular guy. 2151 01:34:07,142 --> 01:34:08,600 An everyday Joe. 2152 01:34:09,477 --> 01:34:13,063 You know, faking my own death was the easy part. 2153 01:34:13,940 --> 01:34:17,234 But dealing with Bob, day after day, was the hard part. 2154 01:34:17,402 --> 01:34:18,402 Hey, Phil. 2155 01:34:18,570 --> 01:34:19,653 What, Bob? 2156 01:34:20,572 --> 01:34:22,406 I'll see you on the other side. 2157 01:34:23,074 --> 01:34:25,409 (STUTTERS) No, I hope we don't. All right? 2158 01:34:25,577 --> 01:34:27,119 Just, no. Bye, bye, bye. 2159 01:34:27,287 --> 01:34:28,287 Just go. 2160 01:34:28,455 --> 01:34:31,165 I made up the Black Badger, rigged up a blood bag 2161 01:34:31,332 --> 01:34:32,416 and that big dummy bought it. 2162 01:34:32,625 --> 01:34:33,792 - Bob! - (ALARM BLARING) 2163 01:34:34,002 --> 01:34:35,919 No, no! (GRUNTING) Hang on, buddy. 2164 01:34:36,504 --> 01:34:37,921 No, there's some sort of bomb in here. 2165 01:34:38,089 --> 01:34:39,965 You're pushing it closed, I think. 2166 01:34:40,133 --> 01:34:42,217 - No, no, no. Sorry. - No, don't give up! 2167 01:34:42,385 --> 01:34:43,385 Bye, Bob. 2168 01:34:44,429 --> 01:34:46,764 PHIL: I'm getting away with a half a billion dollars. 2169 01:34:46,931 --> 01:34:50,350 And Boy Scout Bob is gonna spend his life in prison. 2170 01:34:50,518 --> 01:34:52,102 Ain't America great? 2171 01:34:52,937 --> 01:34:57,441 So now you're gonna be the second partner of Bob's to die. 2172 01:34:57,609 --> 01:34:58,609 Just relax. 2173 01:34:58,777 --> 01:35:01,361 On your knees, Golden Jet. 2174 01:35:07,869 --> 01:35:09,244 (GROANS) 2175 01:35:11,081 --> 01:35:12,289 What the hell was that? 2176 01:35:14,125 --> 01:35:15,751 Golden Jet flip. 2177 01:35:16,294 --> 01:35:19,213 Yeah? Well, you really suck at it. 2178 01:35:19,380 --> 01:35:20,631 I know. 2179 01:35:20,799 --> 01:35:22,466 Then why'd you do it? 2180 01:35:22,634 --> 01:35:23,634 Distraction. 2181 01:35:23,885 --> 01:35:25,469 (GRUNTS) 2182 01:35:25,762 --> 01:35:27,304 (GASPING) 2183 01:35:27,680 --> 01:35:29,014 Oh, you just pulled his throat out! 2184 01:35:31,476 --> 01:35:33,185 I'll see you on the other side. 2185 01:35:38,316 --> 01:35:39,900 Jet, come here. Give me your hand, old buddy. 2186 01:35:40,068 --> 01:35:41,819 Oh, shit! Get that away from me! 2187 01:35:41,986 --> 01:35:43,153 Sorry, Jet. 2188 01:35:44,197 --> 01:35:46,490 Come here, Jet. That was a trachea. (GROANS) 2189 01:35:46,658 --> 01:35:48,158 Great distraction, man! 2190 01:35:48,326 --> 01:35:49,743 Sorry I had to shoot you, Jet. 2191 01:35:49,911 --> 01:35:51,620 It was the only way I could save your life. 2192 01:35:51,788 --> 01:35:53,997 But when you shot me to get Phil to confess 2193 01:35:54,165 --> 01:35:55,499 that he was The Black Badger, 2194 01:35:55,667 --> 01:35:57,626 that was some next-level-type shit! 2195 01:35:57,794 --> 01:36:01,547 Yeah, no. I'm glad you see it the way I saw it. 2196 01:36:01,714 --> 01:36:03,674 That was my plan the whole time. So... 2197 01:36:03,842 --> 01:36:05,509 You are a natural for this line of work. 2198 01:36:05,677 --> 01:36:07,052 I mean, you're smart, you got the skill set, 2199 01:36:07,220 --> 01:36:08,220 you're a people person 2200 01:36:08,388 --> 01:36:11,682 and you already got a dope-ass code name, "The Golden Jet!" What? 2201 01:36:11,850 --> 01:36:13,600 But in the meantime, we gotta get those encryption codes 2202 01:36:13,768 --> 01:36:15,686 over to Harris right away or we're gonna be late. 2203 01:36:15,854 --> 01:36:18,188 What are you talking about? Late for what? 2204 01:36:20,191 --> 01:36:25,112 The reunion, dude. What-what! (CHUCKLES) This shit's on! 2205 01:36:27,073 --> 01:36:29,032 Bob. (SIGHS) Damn it. 2206 01:36:30,160 --> 01:36:31,201 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 2207 01:36:52,557 --> 01:36:53,557 Bob! 2208 01:36:53,725 --> 01:36:54,725 One more thing. 2209 01:36:54,893 --> 01:36:56,476 Thanks for securing the satellite codes. 2210 01:36:56,644 --> 01:36:58,145 You really saved my ass. 2211 01:36:58,313 --> 01:36:59,396 Your country thanks you. 2212 01:36:59,981 --> 01:37:00,856 Just doing my job. 2213 01:37:01,024 --> 01:37:03,901 I'm really sorry about your hand. I hope you know that wasn't personal. 2214 01:37:04,068 --> 01:37:05,694 Oh, no hard feelings at all, Pam. (CHUCKLES) 2215 01:37:06,195 --> 01:37:07,696 Besides, everybody makes mistakes. 2216 01:37:07,864 --> 01:37:09,865 Calvin, here, thought you were The Black Badger. 2217 01:37:10,450 --> 01:37:11,575 (STAMMERS) 2218 01:37:11,826 --> 01:37:12,951 I don't... No, I don't think... 2219 01:37:13,119 --> 01:37:15,454 When we were in the plane, you said, "Hey, Harris is the Black... " 2220 01:37:15,622 --> 01:37:17,414 I think you should... Maybe I... (CLEARS THROAT) 2221 01:37:17,790 --> 01:37:20,542 Mr. Joyner, it was a pleasure working with you. 2222 01:37:20,710 --> 01:37:23,420 If you ever want a career change, you give me a call. 2223 01:37:24,172 --> 01:37:26,340 If I were to give you a call, how would I get in touch with you? 2224 01:37:26,507 --> 01:37:28,342 Just pick up any phone in your house. 2225 01:37:28,509 --> 01:37:29,635 They're all bugged. 2226 01:37:29,928 --> 01:37:30,928 (CHUCKLES) 2227 01:37:31,304 --> 01:37:33,055 You're crazy. Hey, you're crazy! 2228 01:37:33,598 --> 01:37:35,515 (CHUCKLES) That's a good one. 2229 01:37:35,683 --> 01:37:38,101 Calvin! I got your text and came right over. 2230 01:37:38,269 --> 01:37:41,396 Where the hell have you been? Why did you get out of a helicopter? 2231 01:37:41,856 --> 01:37:43,398 Hey, uh, Maggie. 2232 01:37:43,566 --> 01:37:44,691 Uh, hi! 2233 01:37:45,109 --> 01:37:46,735 Babe, why is Dr. Dan with you? 2234 01:37:47,111 --> 01:37:48,153 Well... Uh... 2235 01:37:48,529 --> 01:37:49,863 That's not Dr. Dan. 2236 01:37:50,031 --> 01:37:52,324 Allow me to properly introduce myself. 2237 01:37:52,492 --> 01:37:53,659 My name is Bob Stone, 2238 01:37:54,202 --> 01:37:56,870 the artist formerly known as Robbie Wheirdicht. 2239 01:37:57,038 --> 01:37:58,080 I work for the CIA. 2240 01:37:58,247 --> 01:38:00,248 I roped your husband into helping me track down a traitor, 2241 01:38:00,416 --> 01:38:03,210 who was gonna sell military state secrets to a terrorist. 2242 01:38:03,378 --> 01:38:04,920 We did all that, we stopped them, 2243 01:38:05,088 --> 01:38:07,214 we saved the free world, and here we are. 2244 01:38:07,423 --> 01:38:08,548 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 2245 01:38:09,050 --> 01:38:10,384 What the hell is going on? 2246 01:38:10,551 --> 01:38:12,219 Okay, listen, listen. 2247 01:38:12,387 --> 01:38:14,388 I've been a fool. All right? 2248 01:38:14,555 --> 01:38:16,556 I thought that my life was a failure. 2249 01:38:16,724 --> 01:38:19,059 I thought that it wasn't special. But it is special. 2250 01:38:19,227 --> 01:38:21,061 It's special because I have you in it. 2251 01:38:21,229 --> 01:38:24,398 You are my world. You are what makes me special! 2252 01:38:24,941 --> 01:38:27,109 You're everything to me, Mags. 2253 01:38:27,276 --> 01:38:28,568 I love you. 2254 01:38:29,237 --> 01:38:30,404 I love you. 2255 01:38:35,076 --> 01:38:36,076 BOB: Okay. 2256 01:38:37,245 --> 01:38:39,079 Here come the waterworks. 2257 01:38:39,247 --> 01:38:41,248 I promised myself I wouldn't do this. 2258 01:38:43,918 --> 01:38:45,752 - Come on, come on. - Okay. 2259 01:38:48,715 --> 01:38:50,424 - That's Robbie Wheirdicht? - Yeah. 2260 01:38:50,591 --> 01:38:53,427 - (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) - (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 2261 01:39:12,780 --> 01:39:13,989 - Hi, Brian. - Hi, Gail. 2262 01:39:14,157 --> 01:39:16,283 Guys, this isn't a good idea. You know what? 2263 01:39:16,451 --> 01:39:18,744 I'll just meet you later. I shouldn't have come. 2264 01:39:18,911 --> 01:39:19,911 Wait, wait, wait. 2265 01:39:20,079 --> 01:39:23,123 Bob, calm down, okay? Listen to me. 2266 01:39:23,291 --> 01:39:25,625 Tonight is not gonna be how high school was for you 20 years ago. 2267 01:39:25,793 --> 01:39:27,002 I promise. 2268 01:39:27,170 --> 01:39:29,629 HOSTESS: Attention, por favor. 2269 01:39:29,839 --> 01:39:31,006 And now, 2270 01:39:31,174 --> 01:39:33,800 for the moment you've all been waiting for, 2271 01:39:33,968 --> 01:39:38,513 tonight's vote for the reunion homecoming king and queen! 2272 01:39:38,681 --> 01:39:40,348 We'll announce the queen in one moment. 2273 01:39:40,516 --> 01:39:42,976 But first, without further ado... 2274 01:39:43,478 --> 01:39:45,312 The new homecoming king 2275 01:39:45,480 --> 01:39:49,149 for the Central High School Centaurs, Class of 1996 is... 2276 01:39:49,484 --> 01:39:50,692 I really gotta pee, Jet. 2277 01:39:50,860 --> 01:39:52,319 Bob Stone! 2278 01:39:52,487 --> 01:39:53,487 (INDISTINCT MURMURING) 2279 01:39:54,822 --> 01:39:56,406 Do we have a Bob Stone? 2280 01:39:56,574 --> 01:39:58,867 Here he is, Bob Stone, huh! 2281 01:39:59,619 --> 01:40:00,744 - Yeah! - (SCATTERED CLAPPING) 2282 01:40:01,913 --> 01:40:03,872 Go on, get your rock-hard ass up there. 2283 01:40:04,582 --> 01:40:05,582 For reals? 2284 01:40:05,750 --> 01:40:07,918 For reals, for reals. Go ahead, man. 2285 01:40:08,503 --> 01:40:09,503 Whoo! 2286 01:40:09,754 --> 01:40:11,296 You did it, big guy! 2287 01:40:12,006 --> 01:40:14,091 (SCATTERED CLAPPING) 2288 01:40:14,550 --> 01:40:16,259 (INDISTINCT MURMURING) 2289 01:40:17,261 --> 01:40:20,347 How did Bob Stone win homecoming king? 2290 01:40:20,640 --> 01:40:22,933 I hacked into the votes on the flight in. 2291 01:40:23,101 --> 01:40:26,061 Calvin Joyner, forensic accountant, at your service. 2292 01:40:26,270 --> 01:40:27,270 (CHUCKLES) 2293 01:40:27,438 --> 01:40:29,773 I had no idea you could do that. 2294 01:40:30,525 --> 01:40:33,652 There's a lot of things that you don't know about me, Maggie. 2295 01:40:34,237 --> 01:40:35,403 No, scratch that I said that. 2296 01:40:35,571 --> 01:40:37,114 It was supposed to come out cool. It didn't. 2297 01:40:37,281 --> 01:40:38,532 It was something I thought of, it was like a... 2298 01:40:38,699 --> 01:40:39,699 Forget it. 2299 01:40:41,119 --> 01:40:42,953 TREVOR: Well, well, let's hear it for him! 2300 01:40:43,121 --> 01:40:44,579 Fat Robbie made good. 2301 01:40:44,747 --> 01:40:48,041 King Robbie Weird Dick, our naked mascot. 2302 01:40:48,668 --> 01:40:50,252 Why don't you just get out of the way, Trevor? 2303 01:40:50,419 --> 01:40:51,711 Or what, Golden Jet? 2304 01:40:51,879 --> 01:40:53,130 You're gonna hop up here and punch me in the belt? 2305 01:40:53,297 --> 01:40:54,381 Simmer down, Ant-Man. 2306 01:40:54,549 --> 01:40:56,800 - You know what? That's it. That's it. - It's okay. 2307 01:40:56,968 --> 01:40:58,009 - It's all right. - No, I've had it! 2308 01:40:58,177 --> 01:40:59,761 - I got it, Jet. It's okay. - It's okay. 2309 01:40:59,929 --> 01:41:01,054 I'll handle it. 2310 01:41:01,305 --> 01:41:05,225 Whoa, whoa! Hang on. I'm not buying this whole transformation 2311 01:41:05,393 --> 01:41:07,018 from ugly duckling into swan. 2312 01:41:07,186 --> 01:41:08,186 No one in here is. 2313 01:41:08,354 --> 01:41:11,815 You can fly in, in a bunch of helicopters and dress up in a thousand suits, 2314 01:41:11,983 --> 01:41:15,610 but to everybody, including me, you'll always just be the fat kid. 2315 01:41:15,903 --> 01:41:17,571 (LAUGHTER) 2316 01:41:18,865 --> 01:41:20,282 I've been thinking about this a lot, Trevor. 2317 01:41:21,534 --> 01:41:23,118 And the only thing I want to say to you 2318 01:41:23,744 --> 01:41:24,744 is I forgive you. 2319 01:41:25,329 --> 01:41:27,831 You forgive me! Oh, boy! For what? 2320 01:41:27,999 --> 01:41:29,499 For being rad as shit. 2321 01:41:29,667 --> 01:41:30,876 Fuck you, fat boy. 2322 01:41:31,085 --> 01:41:32,460 Still a scared little bitch. (GROANS) 2323 01:41:32,670 --> 01:41:34,087 (CROWD EXCLAIMS) 2324 01:41:36,799 --> 01:41:38,008 I don't like bullies. 2325 01:41:38,384 --> 01:41:39,801 (CROWD CHEERING) 2326 01:41:41,804 --> 01:41:44,055 And the name is Bob Stone, bitch! 2327 01:41:44,348 --> 01:41:45,348 Whoo-whoo! 2328 01:41:46,017 --> 01:41:47,392 Come on, baby. Step over. 2329 01:41:51,355 --> 01:41:52,522 Hi, everybody! 2330 01:41:53,482 --> 01:41:56,943 Most of you knew me back in high school as 2331 01:41:57,904 --> 01:41:59,404 Robbie Wheirdicht. 2332 01:41:59,614 --> 01:42:01,531 - MAN 1: That's Robbie Wheirdicht? - No way! 2333 01:42:01,699 --> 01:42:03,700 I wore prescription pants every day. 2334 01:42:05,786 --> 01:42:08,038 Twenty years ago, in this gym, 2335 01:42:09,248 --> 01:42:11,208 I stood in front of you all 2336 01:42:12,043 --> 01:42:13,168 naked 2337 01:42:13,878 --> 01:42:15,295 and embarrassed. 2338 01:42:16,255 --> 01:42:18,173 Some of you might remember that day. 2339 01:42:19,342 --> 01:42:21,468 A lot of you probably even laughed. 2340 01:42:22,470 --> 01:42:24,137 But that's okay. 2341 01:42:25,223 --> 01:42:27,849 Tonight's gonna be different because 2342 01:42:28,017 --> 01:42:31,061 my best friend is here with me. 2343 01:42:33,231 --> 01:42:38,401 And he taught me what it means to be the hero of your own story. 2344 01:42:41,155 --> 01:42:42,530 Would you hold this for me, please? 2345 01:42:44,242 --> 01:42:46,159 Being the hero of your own story 2346 01:42:46,327 --> 01:42:50,664 isn't about stopping bad guys or climbing mountains. 2347 01:42:50,831 --> 01:42:53,959 It's about overcoming bullies in your life, 2348 01:42:54,126 --> 01:42:57,045 whatever or whomever they may be. 2349 01:42:58,005 --> 01:43:00,674 It's about putting it all out there 2350 01:43:01,342 --> 01:43:02,384 for everyone 2351 01:43:03,761 --> 01:43:04,928 to see. 2352 01:43:05,763 --> 01:43:07,597 And it's realizing that, in life, 2353 01:43:07,765 --> 01:43:10,100 the most important thing that you can be 2354 01:43:11,227 --> 01:43:12,310 is yourself. 2355 01:43:13,062 --> 01:43:17,399 So, Central High, Class of 1996, 2356 01:43:18,359 --> 01:43:21,236 this is me, Robbie Wheirdicht. 2357 01:43:23,447 --> 01:43:25,073 (CROWD EXCLAIMING) 2358 01:43:30,454 --> 01:43:31,705 (GASPING) 2359 01:43:32,540 --> 01:43:35,125 Oh, my God! Bob just went commando! 2360 01:43:36,961 --> 01:43:38,545 Yes! Yes! 2361 01:43:39,630 --> 01:43:41,172 (CHEERING) 2362 01:43:43,009 --> 01:43:44,592 CALVIN: Way to go, Bob! 2363 01:43:45,469 --> 01:43:46,720 Be you! 2364 01:43:47,221 --> 01:43:49,306 (CHANTING) Robbie! Robbie! Robbie! 2365 01:43:49,473 --> 01:43:52,475 ALL: Robbie! Robbie! Robbie! 2366 01:43:57,982 --> 01:43:59,149 - Hey, man! - (LAUGHS) 2367 01:43:59,317 --> 01:44:01,526 Dude, this is amazing! I'm so happy for you! 2368 01:44:01,694 --> 01:44:03,403 Thank you, Jet! I feel so free! 2369 01:44:03,904 --> 01:44:04,946 - Come here. - No, no, no. 2370 01:44:05,114 --> 01:44:06,865 Your junk is out. 2371 01:44:07,241 --> 01:44:09,784 - Oh. Sorry, Jet. - Excuse me. 2372 01:44:12,246 --> 01:44:13,580 Hi, Robbie. 2373 01:44:14,665 --> 01:44:16,750 - You probably don't remember me. - Darla. 2374 01:44:18,002 --> 01:44:20,045 - Is that Darla McGuckian? - Yeah. 2375 01:44:20,212 --> 01:44:22,464 Wow! She looks great! 2376 01:44:22,840 --> 01:44:24,215 Didn't she used to have a lazy eye? 2377 01:44:24,383 --> 01:44:25,717 - Two of them. - Wow. 2378 01:44:25,885 --> 01:44:27,969 I can't believe you remember me. 2379 01:44:28,137 --> 01:44:29,596 Remember you? 2380 01:44:29,764 --> 01:44:31,306 How could I forget you? 2381 01:44:32,016 --> 01:44:35,810 You still have the same sweet smile, the same sweet face. 2382 01:44:36,354 --> 01:44:39,189 But your hair's changed. You used to wear it curlier. 2383 01:44:39,357 --> 01:44:40,607 I like it though. 2384 01:44:41,025 --> 01:44:42,692 You haven't changed at all. 2385 01:44:42,860 --> 01:44:44,402 Oh, I don't know. 2386 01:44:50,534 --> 01:44:52,368 You're still as beautiful as ever. 2387 01:44:52,661 --> 01:44:53,661 Oh. 2388 01:44:55,790 --> 01:44:57,415 (CROWD EXCLAIMING) 2389 01:45:03,047 --> 01:45:04,756 - Yeah, Bob! - Go, Bob! 2390 01:45:05,758 --> 01:45:07,258 No, no, no. 2391 01:45:07,635 --> 01:45:09,469 (ALL CHEERING AND LAUGHING) 2392 01:45:14,475 --> 01:45:16,559 Oh, I got spinny. 2393 01:45:16,769 --> 01:45:18,561 Super spinny. 2394 01:45:21,148 --> 01:45:22,941 Yeah, that's nice. 2395 01:45:23,651 --> 01:45:26,402 - Can I take you to get ice-cream- - Yes. 2396 01:45:27,238 --> 01:45:29,239 Yes. Yes, yes, yes. 2397 01:45:29,824 --> 01:45:32,826 Super lactose intolerant, but that's okay. Let's roll the dice. 2398 01:45:33,577 --> 01:45:34,911 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 2399 01:45:35,830 --> 01:45:36,830 That's my jam! 2400 01:45:36,997 --> 01:45:38,039 Go show them what you got. 2401 01:45:38,249 --> 01:45:40,083 - All right, Darla. - Okay. 2402 01:45:40,417 --> 01:45:42,418 Darla, hi. Calvin. 2403 01:45:42,586 --> 01:45:44,254 Hi, Colin. Nice to meet you. 2404 01:45:44,839 --> 01:45:46,756 - Calvin. - And Maggie. 2405 01:45:46,924 --> 01:45:48,591 Maggie, hi! 2406 01:45:48,759 --> 01:45:51,094 Hi. You look so good. 2407 01:45:51,262 --> 01:45:53,596 - My gosh, you look the same. - You do too. 2408 01:45:53,764 --> 01:45:54,764 Oh, I don't know. 2409 01:45:54,932 --> 01:45:57,058 You probably remember me as The Golden Jet. 2410 01:45:57,226 --> 01:45:59,853 Your name's Golden Jeff? Hi, Jeff. 2411 01:46:00,604 --> 01:46:02,272 It's okay. Good to see you. 2412 01:46:03,983 --> 01:46:05,483 (BOB SINGING "MY LOVIN"' BY EN VOGUE) 2413 01:46:05,693 --> 01:46:08,111 - Good going, Bob! - Come on, Bob! 2414 01:46:08,487 --> 01:46:10,196 (ALL CHEERING) 2415 01:46:23,836 --> 01:46:25,378 - All right. - Good luck! 2416 01:46:25,546 --> 01:46:26,796 - Love you. - I love you. 2417 01:46:26,964 --> 01:46:28,840 I love you, too, little Golden Jet! 2418 01:46:29,008 --> 01:46:30,008 (BOTH LAUGHING) 2419 01:46:31,510 --> 01:46:32,510 Mmm... 2420 01:46:32,678 --> 01:46:33,761 Okay. Uh... 2421 01:46:34,847 --> 01:46:36,389 How long do you think he's been there? 2422 01:46:37,141 --> 01:46:38,975 MAGGIE: Hmm, probably since last night. 2423 01:46:39,560 --> 01:46:40,977 All right, babe, I'll see you later. 2424 01:46:41,145 --> 01:46:42,896 Have fun with your friend! 2425 01:46:48,485 --> 01:46:49,485 (MOUTHING) Who, me? 2426 01:46:49,653 --> 01:46:50,904 Yes, you. 2427 01:47:00,122 --> 01:47:01,456 (LAUGHS) Wow, Jet! 2428 01:47:01,624 --> 01:47:03,333 You look amazing! 2429 01:47:03,500 --> 01:47:05,293 - Do you think? - Oh, what? Yes! 2430 01:47:05,461 --> 01:47:07,337 I just didn't know the kind of look to go for 2431 01:47:07,504 --> 01:47:08,504 on my first day at the agency. 2432 01:47:08,672 --> 01:47:10,715 You look like a black Will Smith, or something. 2433 01:47:10,925 --> 01:47:12,592 Okay, I'm not sure if that's racist or not, 2434 01:47:12,760 --> 01:47:13,801 but I'll take it as a compliment. 2435 01:47:13,969 --> 01:47:15,345 All right, cool. Yeah, come on! 2436 01:47:15,512 --> 01:47:16,679 Okay. (LAUGHS) 2437 01:47:17,306 --> 01:47:18,514 All right. Don't be nervous. 2438 01:47:18,682 --> 01:47:20,433 You are gonna do great. They're gonna love you! 2439 01:47:20,601 --> 01:47:22,018 Oh, Jet, Jet, Jet! 2440 01:47:22,186 --> 01:47:23,311 Um, before we go, man, uh... 2441 01:47:24,772 --> 01:47:25,897 I got a surprise for you. 2442 01:47:27,107 --> 01:47:29,025 Okay. What's the surprise? 2443 01:47:29,193 --> 01:47:31,819 Well, you gotta close your eyes first. 2444 01:47:33,530 --> 01:47:34,697 Eyes are closed. 2445 01:47:34,865 --> 01:47:35,865 No peeking. 2446 01:47:41,372 --> 01:47:42,538 Open your eyes. 2447 01:47:46,835 --> 01:47:49,212 Is that my... Is that my jacket? 2448 01:47:49,380 --> 01:47:50,380 Yes! 2449 01:47:50,547 --> 01:47:52,548 - Bob, is that my jacket? - Yes! 2450 01:47:52,716 --> 01:47:54,175 - No, wait a minute. - Yes! 2451 01:47:54,343 --> 01:47:56,052 Oh, my God! 2452 01:47:56,387 --> 01:47:57,512 Dude, where'd you get this from? 2453 01:47:57,680 --> 01:48:01,307 Well, I sleep in it most nights, but it's clean now, totally good. Yeah! 2454 01:48:01,475 --> 01:48:04,060 Man! You are the man! Yes! 2455 01:48:04,228 --> 01:48:07,105 - Family hug! What? - Ooh. Okay. 2456 01:48:09,191 --> 01:48:10,316 All right, let's go! 2457 01:48:10,484 --> 01:48:11,818 - Okay. - All right. 2458 01:48:12,027 --> 01:48:14,570 ("THE BOOGIE" BY OUTASIGHT PLAYING) 2459 01:48:26,208 --> 01:48:28,167 - You still ride? - (ALARM BLARING) 2460 01:48:28,669 --> 01:48:30,920 DIRECTOR: Cut! The fire department's here. 2461 01:48:31,213 --> 01:48:33,589 All right. That's our cue, guys! 2462 01:48:34,508 --> 01:48:36,259 BOTH: Here we are shooting Central Intelligence. 2463 01:48:36,427 --> 01:48:38,344 They shut us down. The fire trucks are out here. 2464 01:48:38,512 --> 01:48:40,179 - Shut the fuck up! - Will you get the fuck out of my video? 2465 01:48:40,347 --> 01:48:41,347 I'mma slap the dogshit out of you. 2466 01:48:41,515 --> 01:48:42,515 Why do you do your video behind me? 2467 01:48:42,683 --> 01:48:43,891 - I'm trying to do my video! - This is my video! 2468 01:48:44,059 --> 01:48:45,518 - You're in my fucking video! - I'm pissed off. 2469 01:48:45,686 --> 01:48:47,145 Watch your mouth, I'll slap the shit out of you. 2470 01:48:47,313 --> 01:48:48,313 Fuck you! 2471 01:48:49,273 --> 01:48:51,816 Okay. You have it your way. 2472 01:48:52,776 --> 01:48:54,777 You leave me no choice. 2473 01:48:56,030 --> 01:48:57,030 Pam... 2474 01:48:57,197 --> 01:48:58,197 (LAUGHING) 2475 01:48:58,365 --> 01:48:59,365 Tickler! Tickler! 2476 01:48:59,533 --> 01:49:02,035 Where are the codes? Where are the codes? 2477 01:49:03,037 --> 01:49:04,537 (CHUCKLES) It's just nice. 2478 01:49:06,206 --> 01:49:08,750 In here and it's kind of all... 2479 01:49:09,084 --> 01:49:10,084 (LAUGHING) 2480 01:49:10,294 --> 01:49:11,669 - Oh, my God. - Sorry. 2481 01:49:13,714 --> 01:49:15,506 (ALL LAUGHING) 2482 01:49:16,300 --> 01:49:17,633 - Can you do both? - Yeah. 2483 01:49:18,010 --> 01:49:19,135 - (EXCLAIMS) - Oh, my God! 2484 01:49:19,553 --> 01:49:20,803 (ALL LAUGHING) 2485 01:49:22,348 --> 01:49:24,140 It's called "soul gazing. " 2486 01:49:24,308 --> 01:49:27,894 Stare into my soul and I'll stare into yours. 2487 01:49:28,062 --> 01:49:29,520 - Come in. Shh. - You're not my wife! 2488 01:49:29,688 --> 01:49:31,064 Oh, that's it. 2489 01:49:31,565 --> 01:49:32,690 (BOTH LAUGHING) 2490 01:49:32,941 --> 01:49:34,359 - Bob, I'm gonna... - Shh. 2491 01:49:35,486 --> 01:49:36,736 - I promise you'll never... - (BOTH LAUGHING) 2492 01:49:38,155 --> 01:49:39,822 Let's keep on, keep on. 2493 01:49:39,990 --> 01:49:41,032 DIRECTOR: Okay, for real this time. 2494 01:49:42,159 --> 01:49:44,160 It's for real. This is for real, guys, yeah. 2495 01:49:44,661 --> 01:49:45,787 - That's it! - Oh. 2496 01:49:45,954 --> 01:49:47,497 One more. Come on. 2497 01:49:47,664 --> 01:49:48,790 - I can't do this, I'm not... - Shh. 2498 01:49:48,957 --> 01:49:51,626 Oh, my God. I've fucking had it. 2499 01:49:51,794 --> 01:49:52,794 Lock it! We're professionals. 2500 01:49:52,961 --> 01:49:54,754 - This is what we do. You ready? - Come on, baby! 2501 01:49:54,922 --> 01:49:56,631 I'm gonna hit you. I told you! 2502 01:49:56,799 --> 01:49:58,007 - Fuck! - (CREW LAUGHING) 2503 01:49:59,968 --> 01:50:00,968 Are you not a super tool? 2504 01:50:01,136 --> 01:50:03,388 You're not even Robbie Wheirdicht. You're Bob Stone! 2505 01:50:04,139 --> 01:50:05,640 - (EXCLAIMS) I made that name up. - So what? 2506 01:50:05,808 --> 01:50:07,266 - It's not real. - What does that mean? 2507 01:50:07,434 --> 01:50:11,312 (STAMMERS) What, you think Mr. T and Sting 2508 01:50:11,480 --> 01:50:12,730 and The Rock... 2509 01:50:12,898 --> 01:50:14,357 You think those guys are real? 2510 01:50:14,525 --> 01:50:17,527 That's a bunch of dumbass nicknames by a bunch of dumbass people. 2511 01:50:17,694 --> 01:50:19,153 (ALL LAUGHING) 2512 01:50:21,698 --> 01:50:23,157 ("THE BOOGIE" BY OUTASIGHT PLAYING) 2513 01:56:02,706 --> 01:56:03,998 BOB: Fanny! 2514 01:56:23,643 --> 01:56:24,643 English - SDH