1 00:00:03,389 --> 00:00:06,285 Now that doesn't look right. 2 00:00:06,498 --> 00:00:08,488 Why am I lookingat a black hole? 3 00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:09,732 You know I hate those. 4 00:00:09,820 --> 00:00:11,841 Yeah, we're nowhere near where we're supposed to be. 5 00:00:11,928 --> 00:00:13,834 Well, maybe we should find the navigator 6 00:00:13,922 --> 00:00:15,308 and throw something at him. 7 00:00:15,396 --> 00:00:16,982 Wait, I'm the... hey! 8 00:00:17,070 --> 00:00:18,519 - Seriously? - Sorry, I didn't 9 00:00:18,607 --> 00:00:21,615 - have anything heavier. - Also there's that. 10 00:00:24,404 --> 00:00:27,535 That is the most evil thing I've ever seen. 11 00:00:27,623 --> 00:00:28,816 This isn't my fault. 12 00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:30,380 I didn't enterthese coordinates. 13 00:00:30,468 --> 00:00:34,380 That thing summoned us out of hyperspace. 14 00:00:35,313 --> 00:00:39,307 Well, don't just stand theregawping like stunned space elk. 15 00:00:39,395 --> 00:00:41,397 Go see if there's anything worth salvaging. 16 00:00:41,484 --> 00:00:43,347 You want us to walk into a thing 17 00:00:43,435 --> 00:00:44,357 that might as well have 18 00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:46,184 "imminent death" written on the side? 19 00:00:46,272 --> 00:00:47,490 Well... 20 00:00:48,106 --> 00:00:49,513 Since we're here. 21 00:00:51,568 --> 00:00:53,386 Yep, and nothing terrible 22 00:00:53,474 --> 00:00:55,503 ever happens in a place like this. 23 00:00:55,591 --> 00:00:57,246 Hmm, I'm not finding much. 24 00:00:57,334 --> 00:00:59,763 Just a bunch of hallways that meet up over there. 25 00:01:00,201 --> 00:01:03,300 Ooh, I'm picking up large amounts of organic compounds! 26 00:01:03,388 --> 00:01:05,116 Aww, but no moisture, 27 00:01:05,203 --> 00:01:07,019 which only makes sense if it's... 28 00:01:07,107 --> 00:01:09,295 A giant field of old, dead aliens? 29 00:01:09,382 --> 00:01:11,427 Or an army of space mummies. 30 00:01:11,515 --> 00:01:13,385 Uh, look up circuit-dick. 31 00:01:13,473 --> 00:01:16,389 Oh, well, technically I'm correct 32 00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:19,870 if they stand up... now! 33 00:01:19,982 --> 00:01:21,005 Right now. 34 00:01:21,093 --> 00:01:22,917 Instead of trying to raise the dead, 35 00:01:23,005 --> 00:01:24,418 why don't we just find something shiny 36 00:01:24,505 --> 00:01:26,068 and get the heck out of here? 37 00:01:26,482 --> 00:01:28,011 Cyril, find anything? 38 00:01:28,099 --> 00:01:31,456 Well, it looks likethere are two kinds of aliens. 39 00:01:31,544 --> 00:01:35,912 Heavily armored and seems likethey've been here for eons. 40 00:01:36,017 --> 00:01:37,302 Ah! 41 00:01:37,390 --> 00:01:40,941 - Dead... ... alien... - ... in...... 42 00:01:41,029 --> 00:01:43,091 My... ... lungs. 43 00:01:43,179 --> 00:01:45,724 - Whoa-ho! - Cool! 44 00:01:48,865 --> 00:01:51,324 We've decoded the writing on the outside 45 00:01:51,412 --> 00:01:53,209 and it seemed... relevant. 46 00:01:53,469 --> 00:01:54,615 Relevant how? 47 00:01:54,703 --> 00:01:56,138 Well, as far as we can tell, 48 00:01:56,226 --> 00:01:58,154 it's one phrase translated 49 00:01:58,300 --> 00:02:00,566 into a dozen ancient languages. 50 00:02:00,757 --> 00:02:04,702 "Beware. End of life." "Beware. End of life." 51 00:02:04,915 --> 00:02:06,015 Any-hoo... 52 00:02:06,103 --> 00:02:08,059 Now I kind of wishwe'd worn helmets. 53 00:02:08,147 --> 00:02:09,880 Time to go. Cyril, Pam. 54 00:02:09,968 --> 00:02:11,958 Ha-ha! 55 00:02:12,046 --> 00:02:15,598 Bring me the biggest goose in all of London! 56 00:02:18,935 --> 00:02:20,365 Well, hello. 57 00:02:20,905 --> 00:02:22,538 I'm Mr. Deadly, 58 00:02:22,679 --> 00:02:24,460 and I'm coming with you. 59 00:02:24,655 --> 00:02:26,546 And if we don't take you? 60 00:02:31,030 --> 00:02:33,640 Written right on the side. 61 00:03:05,421 --> 00:03:07,061 *ARCHER (2009)* Season 10 Episode 05 62 00:03:07,149 --> 00:03:09,358 *ARCHER (2009)* Title : "1999: Mr. Deadly Goes to Town" 63 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:23,599 Could you say that one more time? 64 00:03:23,687 --> 00:03:25,820 - Bring me the biggest goo... - Not you! 65 00:03:25,907 --> 00:03:27,538 I'm a sentient doomsday device 66 00:03:27,626 --> 00:03:30,759 created by an extinct alien race but never used. 67 00:03:30,847 --> 00:03:33,905 Wait, never used? What about all those bodies? 68 00:03:43,546 --> 00:03:46,667 Well, hello. I'm Mr. Deadly. 69 00:03:47,232 --> 00:03:48,843 Typical. 70 00:03:48,999 --> 00:03:51,846 I didn't kill them. They died fighting over me. 71 00:03:51,933 --> 00:03:53,637 But you gestured threateningly. 72 00:03:53,725 --> 00:03:55,708 I've been alone for thousands of years, 73 00:03:55,796 --> 00:03:59,583 so my nonverbal communication skills are a bit rusty. 74 00:03:59,671 --> 00:04:01,669 So wait, are youa weapon or not? 75 00:04:01,757 --> 00:04:03,553 As I said, doomsday device. 76 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:06,098 Designed by a race to whom mutual destruction 77 00:04:06,186 --> 00:04:07,850 was preferable to defeat. 78 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:10,520 I was hidden away on the edge of space, 79 00:04:10,608 --> 00:04:14,614 but the war I was created to end in fiery apotheosis 80 00:04:14,702 --> 00:04:16,145 concluded without me. 81 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:19,739 So there I remained, my only companions 82 00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:23,569 the velvety dark and solitude itself. 83 00:04:23,718 --> 00:04:25,401 And then? 84 00:04:25,488 --> 00:04:28,665 I got bored, so I nabbed you lot out of hyperspace 85 00:04:28,752 --> 00:04:30,958 to help me explode, at which point 86 00:04:31,046 --> 00:04:33,747 I'll atomize a few dozen solar systems. 87 00:04:33,835 --> 00:04:36,090 Who else is turned on right now? 88 00:04:36,178 --> 00:04:37,122 - Always on. - Not at all. 89 00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:38,762 Am I to understand 90 00:04:38,849 --> 00:04:41,911 that we brought a giant bomb onto the ship 91 00:04:41,999 --> 00:04:45,007 because you misunderstood its gestures? 92 00:04:45,987 --> 00:04:47,794 Yeah, keep working on it, buddy. 93 00:04:47,882 --> 00:04:49,840 Now, with that out of the way, 94 00:04:49,928 --> 00:04:52,897 would you say "Please detonate"? 95 00:04:54,185 --> 00:04:55,889 Plea... 96 00:04:57,717 --> 00:05:01,035 Keep little Miss Death Wish confined here until we decide 97 00:05:01,123 --> 00:05:03,230 what to do with that walking apocalypse. 98 00:05:03,318 --> 00:05:06,269 So we're just supposed to sithere and twiddle our thumbs? 99 00:05:06,357 --> 00:05:08,410 I'm sure what you do with your thumbs 100 00:05:08,498 --> 00:05:10,298 is entirely your business. 101 00:05:12,149 --> 00:05:14,647 Yeah, just seethe silently. That'll show her. 102 00:05:14,735 --> 00:05:16,035 Well, you're stuck here, too. 103 00:05:16,123 --> 00:05:17,355 I'm always stuck here. 104 00:05:18,758 --> 00:05:19,800 What? 105 00:05:19,888 --> 00:05:20,968 I'm just laughing 106 00:05:21,092 --> 00:05:23,022 at how little they respect you. 107 00:05:23,110 --> 00:05:25,638 God, I need a drink. 108 00:05:25,813 --> 00:05:27,587 It looks like The Artifact 109 00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:29,941 sealed itself up after you left. 110 00:05:30,029 --> 00:05:31,316 So we're stuck with you, huh? 111 00:05:31,404 --> 00:05:33,843 Yes. Though I can't trigger myself, 112 00:05:33,931 --> 00:05:37,279 I would like to explode at the earliest opportunity. 113 00:05:38,256 --> 00:05:39,224 Go right ahead! 114 00:05:39,312 --> 00:05:41,597 If killed, I blow up automatically. 115 00:05:41,685 --> 00:05:43,871 Sort of obvious, when you think about it. 116 00:05:44,224 --> 00:05:47,793 So you lived your entire lifeon that thing, right? 117 00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,965 You've neverexperienced anything? 118 00:05:50,053 --> 00:05:52,988 I could access all the information in the galaxy. 119 00:05:53,076 --> 00:05:54,324 But I suppose you're right. 120 00:05:54,412 --> 00:05:56,605 I didn't directly experience any of it. 121 00:05:56,693 --> 00:05:58,980 Aww. You must be horny as shit. 122 00:05:59,068 --> 00:06:01,763 The sole aim of my being is to explode. 123 00:06:01,851 --> 00:06:02,918 Been there, buddy. 124 00:06:03,006 --> 00:06:04,808 We get it. You wanna explode. 125 00:06:04,896 --> 00:06:07,623 But if you experience some stuff, then explode, 126 00:06:07,732 --> 00:06:08,973 you'd get the best of both worlds. 127 00:06:09,060 --> 00:06:11,151 Maybe you won't want to explode at all. 128 00:06:11,239 --> 00:06:14,170 Unlikely, but intriguing. It is settled. 129 00:06:14,326 --> 00:06:17,482 I shall experience... some stuff! 130 00:06:17,654 --> 00:06:20,347 Excellent. Laki Station is nearby. 131 00:06:20,435 --> 00:06:21,629 It's a cargo depot, 132 00:06:21,717 --> 00:06:24,354 but it has its shareof diversions. 133 00:06:24,442 --> 00:06:26,583 I'm just gladl won't have to look at that thing anymore. 134 00:06:26,670 --> 00:06:28,558 What is it with you and black holes? 135 00:06:28,646 --> 00:06:30,386 Ever heard ofspaghettification? 136 00:06:30,474 --> 00:06:31,903 Oh, yeah, I did that once! 137 00:06:32,075 --> 00:06:35,185 Man, we went everywhere, nothing but sauce and starch. 138 00:06:35,273 --> 00:06:36,714 Nom-nom-nom-nom. 139 00:06:36,802 --> 00:06:38,003 I put on 20 pounds. 140 00:06:38,091 --> 00:06:40,060 Pam, not spaghetti vacation! 141 00:06:40,169 --> 00:06:41,942 I'm talking about the scientific term 142 00:06:42,030 --> 00:06:44,190 for being sucked through a black hole's event horizon 143 00:06:44,278 --> 00:06:46,565 and being stretched into a thin strip of matter, 144 00:06:46,653 --> 00:06:49,542 screaming for eternity because of time dilation. 145 00:06:49,630 --> 00:06:51,692 Spaghettification! 146 00:06:51,989 --> 00:06:54,620 We called ours "Pastafari." 147 00:07:00,724 --> 00:07:01,794 Ahh! 148 00:07:01,903 --> 00:07:03,340 What are you doing in my inner sanct... 149 00:07:03,427 --> 00:07:06,815 Room where I sit quietlyand do nothing suspicious? 150 00:07:06,903 --> 00:07:09,283 You come here to dream of electric sheep? 151 00:07:09,371 --> 00:07:11,736 Don't be a Dick. Androids can't dream. 152 00:07:11,824 --> 00:07:13,455 But we do think real hardabout them. 153 00:07:13,543 --> 00:07:15,697 And make illegal experimental weapons 154 00:07:15,785 --> 00:07:17,690 using our ship's supplies? 155 00:07:17,778 --> 00:07:19,182 What? No, that's not... 156 00:07:19,270 --> 00:07:20,799 Laki Station is notorious 157 00:07:20,887 --> 00:07:22,463 for black market deals. 158 00:07:22,551 --> 00:07:24,525 I may just have a plan. 159 00:07:24,613 --> 00:07:26,229 - Stop that! - Oh, sorry. 160 00:07:26,317 --> 00:07:28,736 I was just... electric sheep. 161 00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:30,916 Like, do they plug in? 162 00:07:31,004 --> 00:07:32,486 My word. 163 00:07:32,574 --> 00:07:34,697 I knew the life cycle of a cow, 164 00:07:34,785 --> 00:07:36,979 the atomic structure of sucrose, 165 00:07:37,067 --> 00:07:38,822 but the experience! 166 00:07:38,910 --> 00:07:40,658 Yeah, well, ice cream is good. 167 00:07:40,746 --> 00:07:42,369 Not that good. 168 00:07:42,457 --> 00:07:44,674 Unless you've got onethat's foreplay flavored. 169 00:07:44,762 --> 00:07:46,299 - Do they have that? - No. 170 00:07:46,387 --> 00:07:47,924 And let's keep it simple for now. 171 00:07:48,012 --> 00:07:49,308 I hear they have a greenhouse that might 172 00:07:49,395 --> 00:07:51,127 - be fun to walk through. - Good grief, 173 00:07:51,215 --> 00:07:52,361 there's more than this? 174 00:07:52,449 --> 00:07:53,815 Yay, plants. 175 00:07:53,958 --> 00:07:55,260 So what's the plan here? 176 00:07:55,348 --> 00:07:57,104 Stuff him in a cargo hold and bug out? 177 00:07:57,192 --> 00:07:59,598 No! Then he just blows up a bunch of other people. 178 00:07:59,686 --> 00:08:00,861 We can make this work. 179 00:08:00,949 --> 00:08:03,565 If we just find something he likes enough to live for. 180 00:08:03,653 --> 00:08:05,783 Oh, my God, you alwayshave to fix people, don't you? 181 00:08:05,871 --> 00:08:07,611 This is why our marriage didn't work! 182 00:08:07,699 --> 00:08:08,940 - Really? - It wasn't the fact 183 00:08:09,028 --> 00:08:11,205 that you slept with everything on two legs? 184 00:08:11,293 --> 00:08:13,238 Hm... not always two. 185 00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:16,596 This is a disaster. 186 00:08:16,684 --> 00:08:18,213 There's only two people here! 187 00:08:18,301 --> 00:08:20,631 - Didn't you pass out the brochures? - I did not. 188 00:08:20,719 --> 00:08:22,550 But the mix tape doesn't make any sense without... 189 00:08:22,637 --> 00:08:24,971 Oh, my God. 190 00:08:25,059 --> 00:08:26,525 You didn't send the mix tape? 191 00:08:26,613 --> 00:08:28,495 ♪ Sometimes you want to have fun ♪ 192 00:08:28,582 --> 00:08:29,316 ♪ Have fun ♪ 193 00:08:29,404 --> 00:08:31,121 - ♪ Sometimes you just need a gun ♪ - ♪ Sometimes you just need a gun ♪ 194 00:08:31,208 --> 00:08:32,582 - ♪ Blap-blap ♪ - ♪ Blap-blap ♪ 195 00:08:32,769 --> 00:08:34,908 The arms game is about connections, 196 00:08:34,996 --> 00:08:37,923 not your quasi-musical cry for help. 197 00:08:38,011 --> 00:08:40,611 This is allwindow dressing anyway. 198 00:08:40,699 --> 00:08:43,087 This is bush league right here. 199 00:08:43,175 --> 00:08:44,478 - Thank you! - Yeah. 200 00:08:44,579 --> 00:08:46,205 Hey, after this, let's hit the dead drop 201 00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:47,593 and then space taco. 202 00:08:47,681 --> 00:08:48,906 Mm, def. 203 00:08:48,994 --> 00:08:50,710 Oh, my God! Are you guys spies? 204 00:08:50,798 --> 00:08:52,335 Oh, my God, yell it out, hello. 205 00:08:52,423 --> 00:08:53,867 Got it! Do you guys have, like, 206 00:08:53,955 --> 00:08:56,468 an internship or something? I'm very sneaky! 207 00:08:56,556 --> 00:08:59,227 - Mm-hmm. - I see you two have an eye. 208 00:08:59,315 --> 00:09:00,658 Let me show you the latest. 209 00:09:00,746 --> 00:09:03,267 Only for my special customers, you understand. 210 00:09:03,355 --> 00:09:05,845 Yeah, well, we are pretty special. 211 00:09:05,933 --> 00:09:08,531 The Plasmo blast Chaos Edition! 212 00:09:08,619 --> 00:09:09,874 Hold down the trigger, 213 00:09:09,962 --> 00:09:12,960 and it fires at wildly unpredictable intervals! 214 00:09:13,048 --> 00:09:15,195 - Why? - Revenge Body Armor! 215 00:09:15,283 --> 00:09:18,109 When hit, it auto-injects you with painkillers 216 00:09:18,197 --> 00:09:19,796 and rage-inducingp harmaceuticals! 217 00:09:19,884 --> 00:09:21,054 Why... 218 00:09:21,142 --> 00:09:24,351 And finally, my magnum opus. 219 00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:26,663 The personalized, identity-locked 220 00:09:26,751 --> 00:09:28,781 temporary singularity grenade. 221 00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:29,820 That all sounds... 222 00:09:29,908 --> 00:09:31,195 - So dumb. - Thank you. 223 00:09:31,283 --> 00:09:33,413 What's dumb about a temporary black hole 224 00:09:33,501 --> 00:09:35,500 that sucks everything into it, then teleports itself 225 00:09:35,587 --> 00:09:37,392 to a random location in the galaxy? 226 00:09:37,486 --> 00:09:38,638 All of the words that you said 227 00:09:38,725 --> 00:09:39,856 in the order that you said them. 228 00:09:39,943 --> 00:09:40,992 And we're out. 229 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,467 If I may step in... 230 00:09:42,554 --> 00:09:44,320 These are onlythe appetizers. 231 00:09:44,408 --> 00:09:47,499 I do in fact have accessto a weapon of great power. 232 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,939 - What, a fart cannon? - Actually, I have one... 233 00:09:50,032 --> 00:09:53,220 No, something else. A doomsday device. 234 00:09:53,673 --> 00:09:54,805 The butterfly. 235 00:09:54,938 --> 00:09:57,179 A remarkable illustration 236 00:09:57,267 --> 00:09:59,984 of the capacity of living things... 237 00:10:00,072 --> 00:10:01,443 to change. Cool. 238 00:10:01,530 --> 00:10:03,445 Hey, is that something you think you might be able to... 239 00:10:03,532 --> 00:10:04,874 What's going on, bud? 240 00:10:04,962 --> 00:10:07,312 Oh, I'm conversing with the butterfly 241 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:08,624 via pheromones. 242 00:10:08,711 --> 00:10:10,842 I just asked it to say, "Please detonate." 243 00:10:10,930 --> 00:10:13,033 I thought you weren't gonna try to explode! 244 00:10:13,126 --> 00:10:14,674 That's not... anything I said. 245 00:10:14,761 --> 00:10:16,589 Anyway, it was a hard pass. 246 00:10:16,758 --> 00:10:19,460 Much more foul-mouthed than I expected. 247 00:10:19,595 --> 00:10:22,150 Same to you, you bastard! 248 00:10:22,464 --> 00:10:23,900 Well, I guess we're safe. 249 00:10:23,987 --> 00:10:26,468 Until he finds a fruit flywith a death wish. 250 00:10:26,689 --> 00:10:29,814 So... would you be interested? 251 00:10:29,908 --> 00:10:33,214 Or, you can shoot plasmabolts at semi-random intervals. 252 00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:34,601 Ka-kow! 253 00:10:34,689 --> 00:10:36,478 Ka-ka-kow! 254 00:10:36,759 --> 00:10:38,480 I'll take doomsday. 255 00:10:38,668 --> 00:10:40,017 Ka-kow! 256 00:10:46,087 --> 00:10:47,437 What do you mean, "No?" 257 00:10:47,525 --> 00:10:49,726 The accepted opposite of, "Yes"? 258 00:10:49,814 --> 00:10:51,890 So we're not selling Mr. Deadly now? 259 00:10:51,978 --> 00:10:53,234 Won't those spies be angry? 260 00:10:53,322 --> 00:10:54,523 And more importantly, 261 00:10:54,611 --> 00:10:56,119 how does this affect our mix tape? 262 00:10:56,207 --> 00:10:57,822 Selling him would solve all our problems. 263 00:10:57,910 --> 00:11:00,216 He gets taken some where else and gets to explode. 264 00:11:00,304 --> 00:11:01,593 - We live. - Except for 265 00:11:01,681 --> 00:11:03,322 the billions of life forms he kills. 266 00:11:03,438 --> 00:11:04,921 Well, obviously, but they're kind of 267 00:11:05,009 --> 00:11:06,085 a sunk cost at this point. 268 00:11:06,173 --> 00:11:07,442 That is not what that means. 269 00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:09,257 Oh, um... arbitrage? 270 00:11:09,345 --> 00:11:10,812 We can't be held responsible 271 00:11:10,900 --> 00:11:13,273 for the actions of the people we sell weapons to! 272 00:11:13,372 --> 00:11:14,718 - Why not? - Because we'd have 273 00:11:14,806 --> 00:11:15,647 to stop doing it! 274 00:11:15,735 --> 00:11:16,861 Look, I think Mr. Deadly 275 00:11:16,949 --> 00:11:19,191 is makingsome real progress. 276 00:11:20,845 --> 00:11:22,369 The ice cream was good, 277 00:11:22,457 --> 00:11:24,515 and that was a very pretty bug, if rude, 278 00:11:24,603 --> 00:11:27,296 but fulfilling the purpose of my existence 279 00:11:27,384 --> 00:11:28,726 sounds a smidge better. 280 00:11:28,814 --> 00:11:31,843 But there must be something in the universe you wanna do. 281 00:11:31,931 --> 00:11:34,015 I've heard good things about whisky. 282 00:11:34,103 --> 00:11:35,208 Great job, Lana. 283 00:11:35,296 --> 00:11:37,306 Now let's go get this bomb drunk. 284 00:11:37,408 --> 00:11:38,617 Lightweights. 285 00:11:38,705 --> 00:11:41,189 That was only like a half a bottle... 286 00:11:41,649 --> 00:11:43,129 of Quaaludes... 287 00:11:43,217 --> 00:11:45,262 that I dissolvedin their absinthe. 288 00:11:45,349 --> 00:11:46,361 Hmm... 289 00:11:46,517 --> 00:11:47,830 They may die. 290 00:11:48,048 --> 00:11:49,962 Oh! Mr. Deadly! 291 00:11:50,056 --> 00:11:51,667 That's what I was doing. 292 00:11:52,590 --> 00:11:55,750 I say, that tastes like an old boot on fire 293 00:11:55,838 --> 00:11:57,448 that I like in my mouth! 294 00:11:57,535 --> 00:12:00,234 I know it's your first time, but you don't have to try 295 00:12:00,322 --> 00:12:01,765 literally every whisky they have. 296 00:12:01,853 --> 00:12:04,884 Um, could you say, "Please detonate"? 297 00:12:05,095 --> 00:12:07,437 Say nothing. Walk away. 298 00:12:07,525 --> 00:12:09,678 Almost got you. 299 00:12:09,969 --> 00:12:11,449 I'll have these six. 300 00:12:11,537 --> 00:12:13,262 Not 100% surethis is working. 301 00:12:13,350 --> 00:12:15,559 Let's just go findthose spies and pawn him off. 302 00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:16,879 One, that's evil. 303 00:12:16,967 --> 00:12:19,090 Two, we don't even know what they look like. 304 00:12:19,178 --> 00:12:21,603 Well, see that cat dudeand pouch master general? 305 00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,824 They look exactly like that. 306 00:12:23,912 --> 00:12:25,895 Doesn't look like they're here to haggle. 307 00:12:25,987 --> 00:12:27,620 - Time to go. - And we're shuffling, 308 00:12:27,708 --> 00:12:29,556 and they're working together, and they're cutting us off, 309 00:12:29,643 --> 00:12:32,149 - and they're here. - Nice work, Tav. 310 00:12:32,237 --> 00:12:33,509 What's up with all the fist bumping? 311 00:12:33,596 --> 00:12:35,071 This is not a weapon! 312 00:12:35,159 --> 00:12:37,641 It is a living being who does not want... 313 00:12:37,729 --> 00:12:38,917 Who's taking me? You? 314 00:12:39,026 --> 00:12:41,001 You? Ah, we'll figure it out. 315 00:12:41,089 --> 00:12:43,672 Thanks, Lana. It's been... a delay? 316 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:45,282 But I'd like to explode now. 317 00:12:45,370 --> 00:12:47,383 Well, all that's left is for you to pay us 318 00:12:47,471 --> 00:12:49,181 and we'll leave this portion of the galaxy... 319 00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:51,713 Oh-ho-ho. You're not going anywhere. 320 00:12:51,916 --> 00:12:53,649 I have a thing about loose ends. 321 00:12:53,737 --> 00:12:55,612 Is that why you have so many straps? 322 00:12:55,700 --> 00:12:58,071 Seriously, are you on your way to tie down a blimp? 323 00:12:58,159 --> 00:12:59,416 Hey! Time to leave. 324 00:12:59,504 --> 00:13:00,555 We tend to frown on 325 00:13:00,642 --> 00:13:02,321 threatening waiters with knives. 326 00:13:02,409 --> 00:13:04,133 Sir, we're handling this. 327 00:13:04,221 --> 00:13:06,133 Oh, is that right, Tycho Brahe? 328 00:13:06,221 --> 00:13:08,084 Astronomy burn! 329 00:13:08,171 --> 00:13:10,469 Come on, did the groundwork for Copernicus. 330 00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:12,891 Had a metal nose. Tycho Brahe. 331 00:13:12,979 --> 00:13:14,971 Ooh, long way to go for that one. 332 00:13:22,401 --> 00:13:25,844 Hey, assholes. If he dies, he explodes! 333 00:13:25,932 --> 00:13:27,416 Well, you should have led with that! 334 00:13:27,504 --> 00:13:30,205 Oh, we're so sorry! 335 00:13:32,065 --> 00:13:33,196 God damn it. 336 00:13:33,284 --> 00:13:34,509 I think they usedyour stick thing! 337 00:13:34,596 --> 00:13:36,133 It's called a quarterstaff. 338 00:13:36,221 --> 00:13:38,516 Fine, they usedyour quarterstaff. 339 00:13:38,604 --> 00:13:40,010 You have a gun! 340 00:13:42,057 --> 00:13:44,127 We can lay low herefor a while. 341 00:13:44,487 --> 00:13:46,235 Aww, cheer up, dude. 342 00:13:46,323 --> 00:13:48,078 I bet you'll explode before you know it. 343 00:13:48,166 --> 00:13:50,985 Lana, you have snatched me from my destiny. 344 00:13:51,073 --> 00:13:52,617 Yeah, she is a huge buzzkill. 345 00:13:52,705 --> 00:13:54,672 Look, I'm very partially sorry about that. 346 00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:56,482 But we're gonna figure out what to do. 347 00:13:56,569 --> 00:13:58,833 Can you stay here for just a few minutes? 348 00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:01,112 Oh, great. I've waited thousands of years 349 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:02,985 so what's a few minutes? 350 00:14:03,244 --> 00:14:05,494 - That's a yes, right? - Yes. 351 00:14:05,987 --> 00:14:08,250 So... what do we do? 352 00:14:08,729 --> 00:14:11,149 Oh! Oh, not this. 353 00:14:11,236 --> 00:14:13,526 Just thought of another name for Spaghetti Vacation. 354 00:14:13,633 --> 00:14:16,492 If you tell it to me, Pam, I will literally kill you. 355 00:14:16,580 --> 00:14:18,549 Call it a one-way vacation to the void. 356 00:14:18,637 --> 00:14:20,505 - Wait, that's something. - Killing Pam? 357 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,836 I was joking, but if you've got a good reason 358 00:14:22,924 --> 00:14:23,939 - I would... - No, these depotsall 359 00:14:24,026 --> 00:14:25,180 have a cargo railgun. 360 00:14:25,268 --> 00:14:27,156 - They're insanely powerful. - So? 361 00:14:27,244 --> 00:14:28,547 So we put him in it, 362 00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:30,196 aim it up out of the galactic plane, 363 00:14:30,284 --> 00:14:32,539 and radio the order when he's at a safe distance. 364 00:14:32,627 --> 00:14:34,406 We'd have to get there without those goons 365 00:14:34,494 --> 00:14:35,352 intercepting us. 366 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,526 Seems tough. They're very cool. 367 00:14:37,614 --> 00:14:38,746 They're not that cool. 368 00:14:38,873 --> 00:14:39,917 Okay, let's ask him. 369 00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:41,166 Ha! 370 00:14:41,254 --> 00:14:43,666 Teach you to lock me in a room. 371 00:14:44,442 --> 00:14:46,940 Because I locked you in a room! Ha-ha! 372 00:14:47,028 --> 00:14:48,321 Are you guys getting that? 373 00:14:48,409 --> 00:14:50,571 I can't see if the irony is landing. 374 00:14:50,659 --> 00:14:52,594 Why not open the door and check? 375 00:14:52,682 --> 00:14:54,758 I can't, I smashed it. 376 00:14:54,846 --> 00:14:56,041 Okay, bye. 377 00:14:56,193 --> 00:14:57,610 Okay, bye. We're gonna die. 378 00:14:57,698 --> 00:15:00,226 If we are, there's something I need you guys to know. 379 00:15:00,314 --> 00:15:02,526 "Ravioliday"! 380 00:15:03,445 --> 00:15:04,705 Worth it. 381 00:15:05,791 --> 00:15:08,119 I am ready. 382 00:15:08,291 --> 00:15:09,531 Take me! 383 00:15:09,619 --> 00:15:12,242 You may have some unhealthy associations 384 00:15:12,330 --> 00:15:13,705 with sex and death. 385 00:15:13,793 --> 00:15:15,658 Duh-hoi. 386 00:15:17,873 --> 00:15:18,961 Uh-huh. 387 00:15:19,072 --> 00:15:21,760 So you know you don'thave any junk, right? 388 00:15:21,848 --> 00:15:24,764 Well, if you give me a momentl'm sure I can grow one. 389 00:15:24,934 --> 00:15:26,799 Why don't you make it two. 390 00:15:33,675 --> 00:15:34,941 That was... 391 00:15:35,029 --> 00:15:36,399 My God! 392 00:15:36,487 --> 00:15:38,125 Ugh! It's gonna be one of those. 393 00:15:38,213 --> 00:15:41,539 How can sensations that majestic and world shattering 394 00:15:41,627 --> 00:15:44,735 be contained in such strange dangly skin-bags? 395 00:15:44,822 --> 00:15:47,422 Did the world shatter for you in the first ten seconds, 396 00:15:47,510 --> 00:15:50,289 the second ten seconds, or huh, no other options! 397 00:15:50,377 --> 00:15:52,320 Both! Benefit of two, I suppose. 398 00:15:52,408 --> 00:15:55,883 But, oddly, I find a limpid rush of passion in myself, 399 00:15:55,971 --> 00:15:58,416 and I must tell you... Sorry, what was your name? 400 00:15:58,504 --> 00:16:00,220 There's some debate on that. 401 00:16:00,307 --> 00:16:02,533 Well, whatever it is, I love you. 402 00:16:02,665 --> 00:16:04,385 Yes, well... nap. 403 00:16:04,494 --> 00:16:06,974 Can you at least tell me to detonate? 404 00:16:07,061 --> 00:16:08,401 God, can you stop your dumb mouth 405 00:16:08,489 --> 00:16:10,102 from talkingso I can sleep! 406 00:16:10,190 --> 00:16:11,203 Okay. 407 00:16:11,291 --> 00:16:13,164 Well, I'm gonna destroy you all now. 408 00:16:13,252 --> 00:16:15,983 As long as it's quiet! Rude! 409 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:17,768 What did you just do? 410 00:16:17,855 --> 00:16:20,252 I don't know. I wasn't listening either. 411 00:16:20,340 --> 00:16:22,094 Unfortunately, we were, 412 00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:24,485 and there are some things you can't unhear. 413 00:16:24,573 --> 00:16:26,789 Yeah, like why was it so squelchy? 414 00:16:26,877 --> 00:16:27,778 - Well... - Nope! 415 00:16:27,865 --> 00:16:28,996 Where did he go? 416 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:30,322 Who? 417 00:16:30,627 --> 00:16:32,461 Let's see. Let's wind the footage back 418 00:16:32,549 --> 00:16:34,219 to the moment they left the cantina... 419 00:16:34,307 --> 00:16:35,461 Pff. Cantina? 420 00:16:35,549 --> 00:16:36,787 Barely a saloon. 421 00:16:37,127 --> 00:16:38,627 Or that. 422 00:16:38,715 --> 00:16:40,455 Last one to grab him buys tacos? 423 00:16:40,702 --> 00:16:43,266 Ugh! Set me up the whole way. 424 00:16:43,354 --> 00:16:44,925 Ugh... Respect. 425 00:16:47,994 --> 00:16:50,017 We got to go! 426 00:16:50,104 --> 00:16:51,375 Give me a minute! 427 00:16:51,463 --> 00:16:53,391 I think I was just dead a little! 428 00:16:53,479 --> 00:16:56,711 ♪ Sometimes you just need a gun ♪ 429 00:16:56,799 --> 00:16:57,953 Damn that's catchy. 430 00:16:58,041 --> 00:16:59,844 Cheryl got out! And ruined everything. 431 00:16:59,932 --> 00:17:02,029 That second part probably goes without saying. 432 00:17:02,116 --> 00:17:04,031 How can you be so incompetent? 433 00:17:04,244 --> 00:17:06,531 Well, seeing as how you let a glue-sniffing 434 00:17:06,619 --> 00:17:08,305 human death wish escape a closed vessel, 435 00:17:08,393 --> 00:17:09,852 maybe we're even! 436 00:17:09,940 --> 00:17:12,360 Even? Who paid for your first "massage" 437 00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:13,869 when you ran out of cash? 438 00:17:13,957 --> 00:17:16,516 Not to get in the middle of your Freudian nightmare, 439 00:17:16,604 --> 00:17:18,656 but just get Krieger ready with his weapons, 440 00:17:18,744 --> 00:17:20,439 and meet us outside the ship! 441 00:17:20,737 --> 00:17:22,180 Way ahead of you. 442 00:17:22,455 --> 00:17:23,619 Are you? 443 00:17:23,707 --> 00:17:25,445 Hate to be a pest but could you say, 444 00:17:25,533 --> 00:17:26,422 "Please Detonate?" 445 00:17:26,510 --> 00:17:28,490 - Uh, no thank you. - Ah-ha! 446 00:17:29,535 --> 00:17:31,681 Fantastic. And now this is happening. 447 00:17:31,769 --> 00:17:32,996 Let's go! 448 00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:35,222 Ow. 449 00:17:35,339 --> 00:17:37,009 Nice shooting, Tex, but if you kill him, 450 00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:38,413 nobody gets tacos. 451 00:17:38,500 --> 00:17:39,632 Oh, hi guys. 452 00:17:39,719 --> 00:17:41,525 Oh, hi. They're from the ship. 453 00:17:41,613 --> 00:17:43,470 Yep. We are here to stop you. 454 00:17:43,558 --> 00:17:45,839 Is that a kimono? 455 00:17:46,378 --> 00:17:50,191 These are experimental prototypes. 456 00:17:50,285 --> 00:17:51,978 I call gun! Big gun, here. 457 00:17:52,066 --> 00:17:53,681 That leaves Pam the temporary... 458 00:17:53,769 --> 00:17:54,954 Don't need it, dick-nuts. 459 00:17:55,042 --> 00:17:56,970 - My body is a weapon. - Speaking of which. 460 00:17:57,058 --> 00:17:59,238 The temporary singularity grenade? 461 00:17:59,326 --> 00:18:00,355 Why would you make that? 462 00:18:00,443 --> 00:18:02,496 Why not just give usan ancient horn that summons 463 00:18:02,589 --> 00:18:05,197 Cthulhu's older, shittier step-brother? 464 00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:07,886 Well, it imprinted on younow, so no one else can use it. 465 00:18:07,974 --> 00:18:09,906 Seems like a needless precaution. 466 00:18:10,008 --> 00:18:11,866 So where do you think they are? 467 00:18:11,953 --> 00:18:15,529 I find it's good practice to follow the sound of gunfire. 468 00:18:15,617 --> 00:18:17,049 That hadn't happened yet! 469 00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:20,715 Oh, suppressing fire! 470 00:18:20,803 --> 00:18:22,744 Ah, ah, ah! 471 00:18:22,832 --> 00:18:25,088 Yelling "suppressing fire" kind of defeats the point. 472 00:18:25,176 --> 00:18:26,839 We're supposed to think you're aiming at us. 473 00:18:26,926 --> 00:18:29,385 You know what, actually, I'm saying it to my teammates, 474 00:18:29,473 --> 00:18:30,527 so they know. 475 00:18:31,605 --> 00:18:32,808 Ah-ah-ah! 476 00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:35,221 Admit you underestimated me. 477 00:18:35,309 --> 00:18:36,924 Get off my head, you bitch! 478 00:18:37,012 --> 00:18:38,588 They're actually doing okay. 479 00:18:38,676 --> 00:18:41,119 I might have a tiny bitmore respect for them. 480 00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:42,666 Don't ever tell them I said that. 481 00:18:42,754 --> 00:18:45,174 There is so much so deeply wrong with you. 482 00:18:45,262 --> 00:18:46,893 And you married me. 483 00:18:46,981 --> 00:18:48,260 Doesn't reflect great on you. 484 00:18:48,348 --> 00:18:50,543 Aww, can I keep him? 485 00:18:51,836 --> 00:18:53,779 How long before they notice... 486 00:18:54,623 --> 00:18:57,146 "We're-we're gone," is what I was gonna say. 487 00:18:59,896 --> 00:19:01,160 So what's all this then? 488 00:19:01,248 --> 00:19:02,871 Cargo railgun, we shoot you, 489 00:19:02,959 --> 00:19:04,308 transmit signal, boom. 490 00:19:04,396 --> 00:19:07,198 - Oh, finally. - Wait, where's Pam? 491 00:19:09,795 --> 00:19:12,035 The invisible fist. 492 00:19:12,123 --> 00:19:13,457 That could be my code name. 493 00:19:13,545 --> 00:19:15,949 So what do you say, I'm your scrappy apprentice, 494 00:19:16,037 --> 00:19:17,629 and you're mygruff-but-loveable... 495 00:19:17,717 --> 00:19:19,105 Ahhh! Ow! 496 00:19:19,193 --> 00:19:20,847 I'll think about it. 497 00:19:20,935 --> 00:19:23,982 Oh, that is good pouchwork. 498 00:19:26,748 --> 00:19:28,480 Get in there. We'll send the "please det..." 499 00:19:28,568 --> 00:19:29,660 Archer, come on. 500 00:19:29,748 --> 00:19:31,668 Whoops, that would have been hilarious. 501 00:19:31,756 --> 00:19:33,433 We'll send you the message 502 00:19:33,521 --> 00:19:35,472 once you're out of the galactic plane. 503 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:37,941 Ahh! Jesus, Archer. 504 00:19:38,029 --> 00:19:39,472 You ever look before you shoot? 505 00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:40,653 Sometimes. 506 00:19:42,052 --> 00:19:43,754 Don't hit Mr. Deadly! 507 00:19:43,842 --> 00:19:45,308 Yeah, aiming at you guys. 508 00:19:45,396 --> 00:19:47,238 Thanks for being so conscientious. 509 00:19:58,162 --> 00:20:00,388 You saved me. 510 00:20:00,476 --> 00:20:03,747 You overcame your simple biological impulse to live. 511 00:20:03,882 --> 00:20:05,343 Just tryingto do what's right. 512 00:20:11,315 --> 00:20:13,089 Jesus Christ, lady! 513 00:20:13,177 --> 00:20:16,751 Don't call me lady! 514 00:20:17,544 --> 00:20:18,930 Well, have a nice death. 515 00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:21,571 Just give me the receiver so you can transmit the order. 516 00:20:21,659 --> 00:20:23,844 - The what? - It's a cargo container. 517 00:20:23,932 --> 00:20:26,024 Do you want me to bring along string and a can? 518 00:20:26,112 --> 00:20:27,823 Goddamn it. 519 00:20:28,158 --> 00:20:31,315 Oh, so now you're a gesture expert. 520 00:20:38,686 --> 00:20:40,996 Whoa, smells like stir-Friday in here. 521 00:20:41,084 --> 00:20:42,410 Why did you do that? 522 00:20:42,505 --> 00:20:45,365 I need to feel their blood on my... ah. 523 00:20:45,459 --> 00:20:48,848 Ohh, this is the best I've ever felt. 524 00:20:48,936 --> 00:20:51,184 Yeah, you're probably gonna want to check into rehab. 525 00:20:51,272 --> 00:20:53,520 Like immediately. You forgot this. 526 00:20:53,608 --> 00:20:56,395 I came as quick as I could. You know, after they died. 527 00:20:56,483 --> 00:20:58,809 You are a paragon of bravery. 528 00:20:58,897 --> 00:21:00,692 All right, let's shoot you into space. 529 00:21:00,780 --> 00:21:02,715 - One moment. - Oh, come on! 530 00:21:02,803 --> 00:21:05,379 Lana's act of selflessness inspired me. 531 00:21:05,467 --> 00:21:07,551 She was willing to give her life for others, 532 00:21:07,639 --> 00:21:10,163 and that gives me the courage to change. 533 00:21:10,342 --> 00:21:12,356 I choose life. 534 00:21:12,444 --> 00:21:14,926 I guess this means no tacos. 535 00:21:15,014 --> 00:21:16,793 Is that supposedto be a joke? 536 00:21:16,881 --> 00:21:18,599 I didn't mean to make it weird. 537 00:21:18,686 --> 00:21:20,412 How's this for weird? 538 00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:22,938 Please detonate. 539 00:21:23,033 --> 00:21:24,556 - No! - Don't detonate! 540 00:21:26,633 --> 00:21:29,803 I think my change of heart may have diffused me. 541 00:21:30,217 --> 00:21:31,756 Only now do I see that 542 00:21:31,844 --> 00:21:34,957 when one's purpose is evil, achieving that... 543 00:21:37,532 --> 00:21:39,613 Archer, you've gotto use this. 544 00:21:39,701 --> 00:21:42,574 I don't want to be eternal spaghetti, Lana. 545 00:21:42,700 --> 00:21:45,309 For once, think of anyone other than yourself. 546 00:21:45,397 --> 00:21:48,022 Aghh! Fine! 547 00:22:11,738 --> 00:22:13,494 - I'm alive! - We're alive! 548 00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:15,043 Close one, right guys? 549 00:22:15,207 --> 00:22:16,476 Yeah, great. 550 00:22:16,564 --> 00:22:19,111 I think I twisted my ankle. Thanks, Lana. 551 00:22:19,199 --> 00:22:21,408 So where exactly did they go? 552 00:22:21,496 --> 00:22:22,875 It's semi-random, 553 00:22:22,962 --> 00:22:24,529 but I could try to back-calculate it... 554 00:22:24,616 --> 00:22:26,299 I'd kind of prefer to not know 555 00:22:26,387 --> 00:22:28,035 if we wiped out several thriving 556 00:22:28,123 --> 00:22:29,821 and culturally complex civilizations. 557 00:22:29,909 --> 00:22:31,418 - Yeah, I mean, me too. - All right. 558 00:22:36,541 --> 00:22:38,848 We don't know that was us. 559 00:22:40,708 --> 00:22:42,708 Synchronized by srjanapala 560 00:23:00,707 --> 00:23:03,801 Made in Georgia.