1 00:00:01,035 --> 00:00:03,985 [light music] 2 00:00:04,088 --> 00:00:07,089 - ugh. So we're just walking to the plane here? 3 00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:08,874 Where is it? In the 1950s? 4 00:00:08,959 --> 00:00:10,376 - I think it's romantic. 5 00:00:10,461 --> 00:00:12,127 - And hiking is a romantic version 6 00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:13,762 of being a starving caveman, 7 00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:15,597 but it's all walking, and therefore dumb. 8 00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,599 - Surprise team-building trip 9 00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:19,768 from our generous new financial backer! 10 00:00:19,870 --> 00:00:22,004 - Ugh. Don't remind me. - Oh, come on. 11 00:00:22,106 --> 00:00:24,440 You're just mad that our generous new financial backer 12 00:00:24,542 --> 00:00:26,275 is also your husband... - Ya think? 13 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,726 - Thereby obliterating any division 14 00:00:27,812 --> 00:00:29,812 between your work life and your personal life, 15 00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:32,197 and radically destabilizing your relationship. 16 00:00:32,316 --> 00:00:33,849 - Ya...Think? 17 00:00:33,951 --> 00:00:35,367 - I do think. - So where do you think 18 00:00:35,486 --> 00:00:36,902 robert's taking us for team building? 19 00:00:36,987 --> 00:00:39,872 - Probably some godforsaken place with more militias 20 00:00:39,990 --> 00:00:41,189 than total teeth. 21 00:00:41,292 --> 00:00:42,207 I'm thinking idaho. 22 00:00:42,326 --> 00:00:43,375 Or maybe hell. 23 00:00:43,494 --> 00:00:45,160 - [chuckles] what's the difference? 24 00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:46,628 - Like your backwoods-ass can talk. 25 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:49,048 - Yeah. Your family tree is a circle. 26 00:00:49,166 --> 00:00:50,699 - I told you that in confidence! 27 00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:51,700 - Whoa. Wow. 28 00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:53,702 What kind of moonshine-fueled hoedown 29 00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:55,721 you got going on in your bloodstream right now? 30 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:58,340 - I hate boring-ass flights, team-building, 31 00:00:58,426 --> 00:01:01,042 and most of all, a third thing I just forgot. 32 00:01:01,145 --> 00:01:02,811 So between the four bloody mary's 33 00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:04,346 and the sleeping pills, 34 00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:05,547 mr. Sandman is coming. 35 00:01:05,649 --> 00:01:08,016 Robert: Hey, guys! - Wow. 36 00:01:08,119 --> 00:01:11,887 - I chartered this beauty for our team-building retreat. 37 00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:13,522 - And that's when she called the divorce lawyer. 38 00:01:13,624 --> 00:01:15,207 - [laughs] just kidding. 39 00:01:15,326 --> 00:01:17,326 It cost a lot to bring this out of storage, 40 00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:18,860 but as your new cfo, 41 00:01:18,963 --> 00:01:21,330 it was worth it to see the looks on your faces. 42 00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,632 We're going to paris 43 00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:25,000 on that! 44 00:01:25,086 --> 00:01:26,668 [whimsical music] 45 00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,203 - the goldhawk. 46 00:01:28,289 --> 00:01:30,923 If aeronautical engineering is an art, 47 00:01:31,041 --> 00:01:33,959 this is the mona lisa. 48 00:01:34,044 --> 00:01:36,428 Two floors of airborne luxury. 49 00:01:36,547 --> 00:01:37,713 [eagle cries out] 50 00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:41,750 relax in our sauna-massage area. 51 00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:45,253 Drop your pet at our dog hotel. 52 00:01:45,356 --> 00:01:48,273 Or enjoy our casino. 53 00:01:48,392 --> 00:01:50,943 But a quick note for our return guests. 54 00:01:51,061 --> 00:01:53,729 The pan-gender brothel has been closed for legal reasons. 55 00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,731 Enjoy your flight 56 00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:57,399 on the goldhawk. 57 00:01:57,485 --> 00:01:58,400 [eagle cries out] 58 00:01:58,486 --> 00:02:00,285 archer: Boo! [booing] 59 00:02:00,404 --> 00:02:02,571 I just found out about that and I already miss it. 60 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:04,957 - I can't fall asleep and miss this. 61 00:02:05,075 --> 00:02:06,041 Y'all gotta keep me awake. 62 00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:07,743 - Don't worry. 63 00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:12,113 I won't let the soft, velvety embrace of oblivion 64 00:02:12,216 --> 00:02:13,749 caress your mind. 65 00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:16,718 - [snores] - drifting, drifting... 66 00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:18,253 - [snores] 67 00:02:18,339 --> 00:02:19,304 - oh, my god! 68 00:02:19,423 --> 00:02:21,089 We're going down! - Ah! Come on! 69 00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:22,558 Why are you satan? 70 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:25,511 - Better to rule in hell than serve in heaven. 71 00:02:25,596 --> 00:02:27,012 - How much money did you waste? 72 00:02:27,097 --> 00:02:29,848 - There's no cost too great to strengthen relationships 73 00:02:29,934 --> 00:02:32,151 and reward the efforts of my new work family. 74 00:02:32,269 --> 00:02:33,602 - Slash real family. 75 00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:36,071 - I've been talking with the cloudbeam marketing folks. 76 00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:37,356 And I hired them. 77 00:02:37,441 --> 00:02:40,609 We're rebranding as a force for good, 78 00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,811 humane causes like the environment. 79 00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:44,413 The spies with soul! 80 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,165 - You know, maybe we should listen to robert. 81 00:02:46,283 --> 00:02:47,449 - What? - What? 82 00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:48,867 - Look, when you consider the rivers of shit 83 00:02:48,953 --> 00:02:50,202 we've been navigating, 84 00:02:50,287 --> 00:02:52,504 the fact that we saved the world and no one noticed, 85 00:02:52,623 --> 00:02:54,623 and the festering sinkhole of our finances, 86 00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:56,491 maybe it's time for something new. 87 00:02:56,594 --> 00:02:59,344 - Thank you for keeping an open mind, archer. 88 00:02:59,463 --> 00:03:01,263 - And if that means suffering 89 00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:02,714 through a luxury flight to paris, 90 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:05,000 I'll take that high-end whiskey-flavored bullet. 91 00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:06,051 - May I? 92 00:03:06,136 --> 00:03:09,605 [jazzy music] 93 00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:12,224 - cheers to finally taking the break I deserve. 94 00:03:12,309 --> 00:03:13,358 - All right! 95 00:03:13,477 --> 00:03:15,060 This is a hijacking! 96 00:03:15,145 --> 00:03:17,613 Everyone remain calm! 97 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:18,981 [screaming] 98 00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:21,033 lana: Come on. Get in there. Go. 99 00:03:21,151 --> 00:03:23,952 [dramatic music] 100 00:03:24,038 --> 00:03:25,954 ♪ ♪ 101 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,706 - [snoring] 102 00:03:27,825 --> 00:03:30,409 - uh, they probably don't mean that calm. 103 00:03:30,494 --> 00:03:32,360 [screaming continues] 104 00:03:32,463 --> 00:03:35,330 [main title theme] 105 00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:42,554 ♪ ♪ 106 00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,817 [tense percussive music] 107 00:04:11,902 --> 00:04:14,052 [gun clicks] - don't even think about it. 108 00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:15,387 - Um, is that plastic? 109 00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:16,571 Why is it lukewarm? 110 00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:18,056 - It's 3d-printed, man, 111 00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:19,557 and recyclable. 112 00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:21,860 We don't wanna add more plastic to landfills. 113 00:04:21,946 --> 00:04:22,727 Just bodies. 114 00:04:22,830 --> 00:04:24,396 - So you don't compost? 115 00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:25,998 - Well, I ordered one of the tubs, 116 00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:27,399 but the shipping got all messed up. 117 00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:28,834 - [laughs] 118 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:31,336 okay, everyone, these are fisher-price weapons. 119 00:04:31,422 --> 00:04:32,570 We have nothing to worry about. 120 00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:33,922 [bullet fires] 121 00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:36,041 - you actually have loads to worry about, dude. 122 00:04:36,126 --> 00:04:38,126 The environment is falling to shit 123 00:04:38,212 --> 00:04:39,211 and you're all at fault! 124 00:04:39,296 --> 00:04:40,595 - I recycle. 125 00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:42,965 - $3 ties from goodwill don't count, cyril. 126 00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:43,932 - Climate change is 127 00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:46,551 a civilization-threatening problem! 128 00:04:46,637 --> 00:04:48,103 - In like a thousand years. 129 00:04:48,222 --> 00:04:50,138 - Siberia had multiple days 130 00:04:50,224 --> 00:04:52,607 over 100 degrees this year. 131 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:55,694 - Siberia? Like siberia, siberia? 132 00:04:55,779 --> 00:04:58,113 Shit. Someone should do something about that. 133 00:04:58,232 --> 00:04:59,481 - I know. 134 00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:01,099 - Hey, little piggies, listen up! 135 00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:04,152 We're gonna need each of you to transfer $1 million 136 00:05:04,238 --> 00:05:05,704 to an offshore account, 137 00:05:05,789 --> 00:05:08,874 which we're then gonna use to further the earth's cause! 138 00:05:08,959 --> 00:05:09,958 - Oh, absolutely. 139 00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:12,494 But, uh, maybe buy some actual shoes first, 140 00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:14,997 and probably a toe-shaver, bilbo. 141 00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:16,614 Ow. Worth it. 142 00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:19,617 - Hey, go secure the upper level. 143 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,754 - A-all right, nobody panic and nobody gets hurt. 144 00:05:22,840 --> 00:05:24,056 - [grunts] 145 00:05:24,141 --> 00:05:25,140 - hey--[grunts] 146 00:05:25,259 --> 00:05:26,308 - block it. 147 00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:27,476 Whatever you can find. 148 00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:30,679 [exciting music] 149 00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:34,466 - and now, we set it on fire. 150 00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:36,601 - We're on a plane. Where would we go? 151 00:05:36,687 --> 00:05:38,653 - You just said it. We're on a plane. 152 00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:40,322 We could fly anywhere. 153 00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:43,975 - If your brain were a drug, I'd snort the shit out of it. 154 00:05:44,078 --> 00:05:46,328 Welp, I guess there's only one thing to do. 155 00:05:46,447 --> 00:05:47,746 - Break into the cockpit... - Experience everything good... 156 00:05:47,831 --> 00:05:48,997 On this level before it's too late for us. 157 00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:51,033 - Re-wire the control panel into a weapon and--what? 158 00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:52,784 - I'm talking first we hit the grill--meat fix. 159 00:05:52,870 --> 00:05:55,454 Then we rake up a fortune at the slots and blackjack. 160 00:05:55,539 --> 00:05:57,622 Then get absolutely blitzed. 161 00:05:57,708 --> 00:05:59,541 - But what about the hijackers? - Ugh! 162 00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,209 Is that still going on? 163 00:06:01,295 --> 00:06:02,711 - Look, either they kill us, 164 00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:05,180 law enforcement storms the plane and they kill us, 165 00:06:05,299 --> 00:06:06,882 or everything works out fine. 166 00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:08,767 But in all those cases, isn't it better 167 00:06:08,852 --> 00:06:11,303 if we experience as much as we can while we can? 168 00:06:11,388 --> 00:06:14,272 ♪ ♪ 169 00:06:14,358 --> 00:06:17,442 hell yeah! My new best friend. 170 00:06:17,528 --> 00:06:18,944 [slots chiming] 171 00:06:19,029 --> 00:06:22,064 welcome to the republic of pamistan 172 00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:23,532 where the only rule is-- 173 00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:24,849 ungh, ungh-- 174 00:06:24,952 --> 00:06:25,984 screw the rules! 175 00:06:26,070 --> 00:06:28,320 And anything else you can get your hands on. 176 00:06:28,405 --> 00:06:29,738 - Huh. Why not? 177 00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:31,957 When are we ever gonna be on a plane like this again? 178 00:06:32,042 --> 00:06:34,076 - Speak for yourself. My family has season tickets. 179 00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:35,327 - For the plane? 180 00:06:35,412 --> 00:06:37,879 - And when is flying season? 181 00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:40,882 [dramatic music] 182 00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:43,418 ♪ ♪ 183 00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:45,303 - you can't keep a bunch of people hostage 184 00:06:45,389 --> 00:06:47,506 if you're not... Keeping them hostage. 185 00:06:47,591 --> 00:06:49,174 And don't hijackers usually wait 186 00:06:49,259 --> 00:06:50,976 until the plane is in the sky? 187 00:06:51,061 --> 00:06:53,728 Where, historically, there are fewer swat teams? 188 00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:55,597 - Well, they lock the doors to the cockpit 189 00:06:55,682 --> 00:06:57,215 once the pilots are in and-- 190 00:06:57,317 --> 00:06:59,601 - you don't know how to breach that because you're amateurs. 191 00:06:59,686 --> 00:07:00,718 Wow. - Shut up. 192 00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:02,154 Why would I listen to a captive? 193 00:07:02,239 --> 00:07:04,156 - Well, you're kind of at the point of no return here. 194 00:07:04,241 --> 00:07:05,890 Pretty soon, you'll have to start shooting people, 195 00:07:05,993 --> 00:07:07,442 and I don't think you want that, 196 00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:08,944 other than maybe that guy. 197 00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:09,861 - Oh, yeah? 198 00:07:09,947 --> 00:07:11,496 Well, every fish you eat is loaded 199 00:07:11,582 --> 00:07:13,949 with plastic micro-beads from face soap! 200 00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:15,784 - Kind of getting a last scene of "scarface" vibe 201 00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:18,403 from this guy. But with gluten-free cocaine. 202 00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:19,955 - Okay. What's your suggestion? 203 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,841 - Well, anytime you need to make an example out of someone, 204 00:07:22,926 --> 00:07:25,010 maybe knock this guy around a little bit. 205 00:07:25,095 --> 00:07:26,294 - I don't know. 206 00:07:26,380 --> 00:07:28,130 It feels like clubbing a baby seal. 207 00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:30,098 I'd hate to hit him if he doesn't deserve it. 208 00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:31,383 - That's the point. 209 00:07:31,468 --> 00:07:33,351 If he gets hit, it could happen to anyone else. 210 00:07:33,437 --> 00:07:35,086 And let me tell you a secret. 211 00:07:35,189 --> 00:07:36,638 He's secretly a masochist. 212 00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:38,440 Gets a lot of pleasure from being beaten up. 213 00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:40,392 He loves it. Can't get enough of it. 214 00:07:40,477 --> 00:07:42,060 You'd be doing this guy a favor. 215 00:07:42,146 --> 00:07:43,895 - All right. That's a load off my mind. 216 00:07:43,981 --> 00:07:45,447 - Yeah. Mine too. 217 00:07:46,950 --> 00:07:48,900 - [sighs] things have calmed down a bit outside. 218 00:07:48,986 --> 00:07:50,735 We'll be fine in here until we figure out a plan. 219 00:07:50,821 --> 00:07:52,704 - Ugh! Smells like a kennel in here. 220 00:07:52,789 --> 00:07:53,905 - I can't believe this. 221 00:07:53,991 --> 00:07:55,824 Robert, this was such a bad idea. 222 00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:58,960 - I was supposed to somehow predict that we'd be hijacked? 223 00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:00,412 - No. It's just working with you 224 00:08:00,497 --> 00:08:02,664 just makes everything so complicated. 225 00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:04,616 - I would have known that's how you felt 226 00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:08,086 if you had talked to me instead of hanging up on me. 227 00:08:08,172 --> 00:08:10,005 Meditation speaker: Now, take a deep breath 228 00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:12,591 and feel the gratitude for your surroundings. 229 00:08:12,676 --> 00:08:15,460 - Would you turn that off? 230 00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:17,345 [steam hissing] 231 00:08:17,431 --> 00:08:19,598 goddamnit. 232 00:08:19,683 --> 00:08:23,185 [dramatic music] 233 00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:25,687 - cyril. Hey, cyril, take this. 234 00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:28,023 - W-why do I need an earpiece? Where are you going? 235 00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,774 - I need you to be useful for the first time 236 00:08:29,860 --> 00:08:31,243 in your entire life, cyril. 237 00:08:31,328 --> 00:08:33,245 When I make my move, you have to be my eyes and ears. 238 00:08:33,330 --> 00:08:34,812 - Why? What are you doing? 239 00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:36,481 I feel like this is one of those situations 240 00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:38,416 where it plays out better if we don't get violent 241 00:08:38,502 --> 00:08:39,984 and just submit to their guidance. 242 00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:42,120 - Hey, chatty cathy, no talking! 243 00:08:42,206 --> 00:08:43,488 Yeah. That's right. 244 00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:46,424 Anyone else gets out of line, they're next. 245 00:08:46,510 --> 00:08:48,293 Hey, thanks. - Hey, my pleasure. 246 00:08:48,378 --> 00:08:50,679 Just keep them under control and we can get outta here 247 00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:52,297 without anyone getting too hurt, 248 00:08:52,382 --> 00:08:55,016 other than cyril, which hardly counts. 249 00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:59,771 - Don't you dare open that single-use plastic bottle! 250 00:08:59,856 --> 00:09:01,473 - Trust me, I don't like drinking water 251 00:09:01,558 --> 00:09:03,408 that isn't alkaline either, 252 00:09:03,477 --> 00:09:06,561 but you all have truly pushed me over the edge. 253 00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:09,314 - Ow! Hot damn it! 254 00:09:09,399 --> 00:09:11,483 - Well, at least you had a good reason. 255 00:09:14,705 --> 00:09:16,621 - [screams] 256 00:09:16,707 --> 00:09:18,757 [guns click] 257 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,626 - god, ray's gonna be so pissed 258 00:09:21,712 --> 00:09:22,961 when he finds out he missed this. 259 00:09:23,046 --> 00:09:25,180 - [grunts] and now I'll get an allergic reaction 260 00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:27,716 from this fake croc-skin belt? 261 00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:29,818 Who knows which is gonna kill me first? 262 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:31,253 [grunts] - thank you, 263 00:09:31,355 --> 00:09:33,121 but also, what the hell are you doing? 264 00:09:33,223 --> 00:09:34,623 - Stopping the poisoning of the earth 265 00:09:34,725 --> 00:09:35,857 is worth a little blood! 266 00:09:35,959 --> 00:09:37,325 Plus, you told us to keep control! 267 00:09:37,427 --> 00:09:38,777 - Does this look controlled to you? 268 00:09:38,895 --> 00:09:39,861 - You tell me. 269 00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:41,112 [gun clicks] damn it. 270 00:09:41,231 --> 00:09:42,981 - It's possible that recycled guns 271 00:09:43,066 --> 00:09:44,282 weren't the best move. 272 00:09:44,401 --> 00:09:47,118 - They're not recycled. They're recyclable! 273 00:09:47,237 --> 00:09:48,320 [grunts] 274 00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:51,706 archer: Okay, cyril, can you hear me? 275 00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:53,041 - Yes! - Quiet! 276 00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:54,942 - [groans] damn it. Archer: [laughs] 277 00:09:55,045 --> 00:09:56,711 oh, man. I knew that would happen. 278 00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:58,797 I'm so mad I missed it. 279 00:09:58,915 --> 00:10:00,966 All right, you can't let them know you're talking to me, 280 00:10:01,084 --> 00:10:03,218 but you've got to be my eyes in the passenger cabin. 281 00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:05,003 I'm heading low, and if my guess is right, 282 00:10:05,088 --> 00:10:06,638 pam and krieger are cooking up something good 283 00:10:06,757 --> 00:10:08,139 on the upper level. 284 00:10:08,258 --> 00:10:10,642 Pam: Look, they don't know what they're talking about. 285 00:10:10,761 --> 00:10:11,926 You got to follow your dream, man. 286 00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:14,596 What is it? - Slam poetry. 287 00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:15,814 - Oh, man. 288 00:10:15,932 --> 00:10:17,515 Forget I said any of that shit. 289 00:10:17,601 --> 00:10:19,067 - Might I remind you, 290 00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:21,803 there is still a hostage crisis downstairs. 291 00:10:21,905 --> 00:10:22,970 - Oh, no! 292 00:10:23,073 --> 00:10:24,489 Does that affect how the grill works? 293 00:10:24,608 --> 00:10:27,025 - Uh--no, ma'am. 294 00:10:28,445 --> 00:10:30,245 - Okay, cyril, I seem to have reached the cargo hold, 295 00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,280 but it will be impossible to find our bags. 296 00:10:32,366 --> 00:10:34,482 So I'll just steal all the jewelry from these 297 00:10:34,584 --> 00:10:35,533 and then retire. 298 00:10:35,619 --> 00:10:36,701 - Probably alphabetical. 299 00:10:36,787 --> 00:10:39,204 - Damn it. You ruin everything. 300 00:10:40,457 --> 00:10:42,156 I still can't believe they made krieger 301 00:10:42,259 --> 00:10:44,342 check the new tacticane, but these assholes can bring 302 00:10:44,461 --> 00:10:48,046 an endless supply of plastic guns on board. 303 00:10:48,131 --> 00:10:49,514 - I love crosswords. 304 00:10:49,633 --> 00:10:51,332 What was the clue for alphabetical again? 305 00:10:51,435 --> 00:10:54,001 - Oh, yeah. [chuckles] it was a tough one. 306 00:10:54,104 --> 00:10:57,722 Having to do with the... Alphabet? 307 00:10:57,808 --> 00:10:59,674 - Yes. Flight 4643 goldhawk. 308 00:10:59,776 --> 00:11:01,860 This is flight attendant eryn. 309 00:11:01,978 --> 00:11:04,345 It's for you. It's the hostage negotiator. 310 00:11:04,448 --> 00:11:06,514 - Don't worry. They'll slow-play this. 311 00:11:06,616 --> 00:11:07,849 Hell-- - okay. Shut up. 312 00:11:07,951 --> 00:11:09,200 All right? I don't care who you are. 313 00:11:09,319 --> 00:11:12,237 I don't care what you want. Right now, I am smiling. 314 00:11:12,322 --> 00:11:15,323 I'm giving my boss the thumbs-up like things are going great. 315 00:11:15,409 --> 00:11:16,991 But when push immediately comes to shove, 316 00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:19,127 we are gonna come in there and kill you all. 317 00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:21,663 And if a few hostages get hit, them's the brakes. 318 00:11:21,748 --> 00:11:23,715 And I am gonna like it! 319 00:11:23,834 --> 00:11:26,000 Then tomorrow, I'm gonna go looking for your families, 320 00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:27,669 your friends, and your pets. 321 00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:31,556 So enjoy your last moments on earth, you barely human scum! 322 00:11:31,675 --> 00:11:32,590 [phone beeps] 323 00:11:32,676 --> 00:11:34,426 [breathing heavily] 324 00:11:34,511 --> 00:11:36,478 - so... 325 00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:38,212 How's the divorce going? 326 00:11:38,315 --> 00:11:39,814 - Okay, time to accelerate. 327 00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:41,816 We have to find target one now. 328 00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:43,384 - There was a passenger acting weird. 329 00:11:43,487 --> 00:11:44,736 I bet he knows something. 330 00:11:44,855 --> 00:11:45,937 And he's gone! 331 00:11:46,022 --> 00:11:47,739 He definitely knows something! 332 00:11:47,858 --> 00:11:48,823 - Okay, fan out! 333 00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:51,726 Remember this is target alpha. 334 00:11:51,828 --> 00:11:54,362 - Uh-oh. - Oh, well then, problem solved. 335 00:11:54,448 --> 00:11:56,230 - Considering he didn't even tell me 336 00:11:56,333 --> 00:11:58,450 about purchasing the company in the first place-- 337 00:11:58,535 --> 00:12:00,335 - I called you to talk about it. 338 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,236 - I was on a mission. 339 00:12:02,339 --> 00:12:04,572 - Your job was in jeopardy of being taken away. 340 00:12:04,674 --> 00:12:07,092 I just wanted to help for the betterment of our family. 341 00:12:07,210 --> 00:12:10,295 - Yes, but now you run the company that pays me, robert. 342 00:12:10,380 --> 00:12:11,796 - We run a business. 343 00:12:11,882 --> 00:12:13,882 - Oh-ho, sure. Right into the ground. 344 00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:15,600 - We saved the world. 345 00:12:15,719 --> 00:12:16,718 - Fat lot of good it did you. 346 00:12:16,803 --> 00:12:17,969 Before I bought the place, 347 00:12:18,054 --> 00:12:19,921 I saw you mix tequila and vodka 348 00:12:20,023 --> 00:12:21,973 out of the bottom of two plastic bottles. 349 00:12:22,058 --> 00:12:23,424 - Oh, shut up. 350 00:12:23,527 --> 00:12:24,442 [ice clinking] 351 00:12:24,561 --> 00:12:25,610 - [grunting] 352 00:12:25,729 --> 00:12:27,061 whatever you're doing, please do it faster. 353 00:12:27,147 --> 00:12:28,763 It's getting pretty hairy. 354 00:12:28,865 --> 00:12:30,765 Archer, did they get you? 355 00:12:30,867 --> 00:12:32,233 - Yeah. It's, uh-- 356 00:12:32,319 --> 00:12:34,119 it's pretty hairy here too, cyril. 357 00:12:34,237 --> 00:12:37,622 [laughs] just hang tight. 358 00:12:37,741 --> 00:12:38,823 - [groans] 359 00:12:38,909 --> 00:12:39,941 well, it sounds like they're really 360 00:12:40,043 --> 00:12:41,793 on the hunt for robert and his cash. 361 00:12:41,912 --> 00:12:43,294 Archer: How rich could this guy be? 362 00:12:43,413 --> 00:12:45,446 - I mean, he had the spare change to buy the entire agency 363 00:12:45,549 --> 00:12:47,499 as what was probably a favor to lana. 364 00:12:47,584 --> 00:12:49,000 Archer: There's no way our shitty little 365 00:12:49,085 --> 00:12:50,468 mom and pop agency cost that much. 366 00:12:50,587 --> 00:12:51,619 - Well, when was the last time 367 00:12:51,721 --> 00:12:53,138 you bought a drink without expensing it? 368 00:12:53,256 --> 00:12:56,641 - Uh, I wanna say...High school? [dog barks] 369 00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:58,560 - ow. 370 00:12:58,645 --> 00:12:59,894 Ah. Oh. 371 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,062 [chuckles] hey. 372 00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:03,348 I was just, uh, looking for my, uh-- 373 00:13:03,433 --> 00:13:04,632 no. 374 00:13:04,734 --> 00:13:07,468 - Well, did you find it? 375 00:13:07,571 --> 00:13:09,687 [dogs barking] archer: Cyril? Cyril? 376 00:13:09,773 --> 00:13:12,073 Ah, you idiot. 377 00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:14,075 Hey, come here. That's a good boy. 378 00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:15,994 You guys be good till I get back, okay? 379 00:13:16,112 --> 00:13:18,029 Love you guys. 380 00:13:19,533 --> 00:13:20,698 Psst! Stewardess. 381 00:13:20,784 --> 00:13:22,867 Hey, I-is there any way to get to the top floor 382 00:13:22,953 --> 00:13:25,036 other than the stairs? 383 00:13:25,121 --> 00:13:27,822 Also, we're probably gonna die in 10 minutes, 384 00:13:27,924 --> 00:13:29,958 so what do you think? 385 00:13:31,127 --> 00:13:32,927 - Hey, you sicko. Where's the bald guy? 386 00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:34,379 - Robert. I-I mean, who? 387 00:13:34,464 --> 00:13:36,681 [groans] I don't know. 388 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:39,467 Ah. Nope, that didn't help. 389 00:13:39,553 --> 00:13:40,802 - Enough with the games! 390 00:13:40,887 --> 00:13:42,720 Every moment I don't shoot one of you 391 00:13:42,806 --> 00:13:44,138 is another dead whale! 392 00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:46,173 - Uh, that doesn't make any sense. 393 00:13:46,276 --> 00:13:47,809 - Neither does talking right then. 394 00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:51,312 So now you're gonna transfer $1 million into our account! 395 00:13:55,452 --> 00:13:56,985 - Hey, I got to tell you that's the first time 396 00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:58,119 that line worked for me. 397 00:13:58,205 --> 00:13:59,571 And I've tried it a bunch. 398 00:13:59,656 --> 00:14:02,991 - By the way, I'm a flight attendant, not a stewardess. 399 00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:04,709 - Definitely the priority right now. 400 00:14:04,828 --> 00:14:06,027 Okay, flight attendant, 401 00:14:06,129 --> 00:14:07,996 can you show me the way to the second floor? 402 00:14:09,466 --> 00:14:11,583 Well, you sure know your way around a shaft. 403 00:14:11,668 --> 00:14:13,051 Wait. No, I'm sorry. 404 00:14:13,169 --> 00:14:14,919 That was coarse. I apologize. 405 00:14:15,005 --> 00:14:17,204 - Hmm. Looks like a tight fit. 406 00:14:17,307 --> 00:14:20,141 - Damn it. That one's better. 407 00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:22,393 - I think there's a whole lot you're not telling me. 408 00:14:22,512 --> 00:14:23,878 First, I don't know about the agency. 409 00:14:23,980 --> 00:14:25,263 What's next? 410 00:14:25,348 --> 00:14:26,681 - [whispering] you guys should really be quiet. 411 00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:27,899 - Good point. 412 00:14:28,018 --> 00:14:29,901 - What's next is you're fighting with me 413 00:14:30,020 --> 00:14:31,653 because I wanna have a baby with you 414 00:14:31,738 --> 00:14:33,655 and you won't talk about it. 415 00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:34,989 - [laughing] 416 00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:35,907 - [whispering] robert, they're looking for you. 417 00:14:36,026 --> 00:14:37,909 - You never wanna talk about it. 418 00:14:38,028 --> 00:14:40,194 You like to run around saving the world, 419 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:43,865 when I want to build a world of our own. 420 00:14:43,950 --> 00:14:46,117 But you keep pretending you're not a mother. 421 00:14:46,202 --> 00:14:49,237 And with two kids, that would be twice as hard. 422 00:14:49,339 --> 00:14:51,172 [lana scoffs] 423 00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:53,258 he's in there. 424 00:14:58,782 --> 00:15:00,365 - You know that grater thing that servants use 425 00:15:00,450 --> 00:15:01,950 for grating nutmeg? 426 00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:03,734 Do you ever wanna just use that on someone's nipples? 427 00:15:03,837 --> 00:15:05,587 Just really go to town? 428 00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:07,205 - I don't like that town. 429 00:15:07,290 --> 00:15:10,258 - [groans] oh, my god. 430 00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:13,544 I had 8 shots and 12 steaks. 431 00:15:13,630 --> 00:15:17,799 And it was such a good idea. 432 00:15:17,884 --> 00:15:19,417 What the shit? - Pfft. Wait. 433 00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:20,685 Have you been there the whole time? 434 00:15:20,770 --> 00:15:22,470 - Because if so, all that shit I was talking 435 00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:24,355 was about a different archer 436 00:15:24,441 --> 00:15:26,441 who does all the same shit you do. 437 00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:27,892 - Guys, the hijackers have robert. 438 00:15:27,978 --> 00:15:29,527 Apparently, their whole objective 439 00:15:29,613 --> 00:15:30,812 was just to drain his bank account. 440 00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:32,263 - Wait. How do you know all that? 441 00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:34,365 - Well, I gave the flight attendant an earpiece. 442 00:15:34,451 --> 00:15:35,766 After we had sex. 443 00:15:35,869 --> 00:15:37,268 - Aw, come on, dude. - Oh, come on. That is bad. 444 00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:38,736 - Tell me about it. 445 00:15:38,822 --> 00:15:40,788 I can't believe they didn't wanna use me as a hostage. 446 00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:42,991 Like, am I not rich enough for them? 447 00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:45,076 Does that make me any less of a person? 448 00:15:45,161 --> 00:15:46,711 - Like, less than you are currently? 449 00:15:46,796 --> 00:15:48,630 - Also, you're really rich. 450 00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:50,465 - Your family owns six islands, 451 00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:52,800 and the private prison-slash-hunting preserves 452 00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:53,835 on those islands. 453 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,337 - Aww, thanks guys. You're right. 454 00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:58,056 I am worthy of being horribly harmed 455 00:15:58,141 --> 00:15:59,340 and discarded by bad people. 456 00:15:59,426 --> 00:16:01,625 - Guys, if we could get back to the hostage situation, 457 00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:03,511 that's ongoing-- - wish I could, bud, 458 00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:05,480 but here in pamistan, we rise above it. 459 00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:07,131 No rules. - Right. 460 00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:10,601 And I'm about to prove you all wrong about slam poetry. 461 00:16:10,687 --> 00:16:12,236 - Fine. We'll do it. 462 00:16:12,322 --> 00:16:13,804 Wait, I have the perfect line. 463 00:16:13,907 --> 00:16:16,607 Let's compost these turds. 464 00:16:16,693 --> 00:16:18,309 - And that was it? 465 00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:19,694 - You dick. 466 00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:21,479 - You don't have to do this. - Enough! 467 00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:23,081 Just shut up and pay up! 468 00:16:23,166 --> 00:16:26,484 10 million bucks or you won't be as lucky as he was. 469 00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:28,319 - [groans] - he doesn't look that lucky. 470 00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:32,256 [dramatic music] 471 00:16:32,342 --> 00:16:34,658 okay. The transfer is done. 472 00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:36,327 - Wait, I'm not seeing the transfer in our account. 473 00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:39,047 - You don't have to bully people into giving you money 474 00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:42,133 when you can just make an effective case for change. 475 00:16:42,218 --> 00:16:44,102 - Okay. But to be clear, 476 00:16:44,187 --> 00:16:46,220 you just gave a huge amount of money 477 00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:49,273 to citizens of the world environmental group? 478 00:16:49,359 --> 00:16:50,308 What? - Look, 479 00:16:50,393 --> 00:16:51,442 in the heat of the moment, 480 00:16:51,528 --> 00:16:53,061 we all say or do things 481 00:16:53,146 --> 00:16:55,563 that hurt the things we're trying to save. 482 00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:58,316 But there's still a chance for us to come together 483 00:16:58,401 --> 00:17:00,568 and find a way to change. 484 00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:02,787 - Nice try! 485 00:17:02,872 --> 00:17:04,238 But that's not what I asked for. 486 00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:07,241 Also, that seemed more applicable to a relationship! 487 00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:10,878 Where was that advice last year when I needed it? 488 00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:12,580 [grunts] 489 00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:15,333 [guns clicking] 490 00:17:15,418 --> 00:17:16,551 - release the hounds! 491 00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:20,088 [dogs barking] 492 00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:23,374 [gun clicking] 493 00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:26,377 - come on! Hit me with the cherries! 494 00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:28,096 - [shouts] 495 00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:29,981 [dogs barking] 496 00:17:30,066 --> 00:17:31,065 - you know what? 497 00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:32,400 This is kind of different than I thought. 498 00:17:32,519 --> 00:17:34,218 So I'm just gonna go-- 499 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:35,737 [grunts] - oh. 500 00:17:35,855 --> 00:17:37,555 Maybe the recycled guns do work. 501 00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:39,991 - Archer, help! - Shut up! 502 00:17:40,076 --> 00:17:42,360 - And why does the stewardess know your name? 503 00:17:42,445 --> 00:17:44,028 - Her name isn't stewardess, lana. 504 00:17:44,114 --> 00:17:45,246 It's flight attendant. 505 00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:46,447 - Really? - What? 506 00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:48,032 My stewardess line finally worked. 507 00:17:48,118 --> 00:17:49,066 What can I say? 508 00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:51,402 - Actually, it's eryn, with a "y." 509 00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:53,421 - shut up! I'm gonna hurt this stewardess. 510 00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:55,339 - Now, you're just doing it intentionally. 511 00:17:55,425 --> 00:17:56,457 - Uh-uh. I mean it. 512 00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:57,925 I'm gonna hurt her real bad. 513 00:17:58,044 --> 00:18:00,511 Like, nasty bad to make a point about, 514 00:18:00,597 --> 00:18:02,713 you--you know, all the stuff. 515 00:18:02,799 --> 00:18:04,549 And then I'm gonna fly this plane the hell out of here. 516 00:18:04,634 --> 00:18:05,767 [eryn screams] 517 00:18:07,771 --> 00:18:09,103 - come on, hurry up. 518 00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:10,888 [krieger grunts] 519 00:18:12,976 --> 00:18:13,975 - ow. 520 00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:16,727 What the hell is happening around here? 521 00:18:16,813 --> 00:18:18,596 Oh, my god. Are we in paris? 522 00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:20,565 - No, but I see France. 523 00:18:20,650 --> 00:18:21,949 - Seriously? How old are you? 524 00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:24,318 - Apparently not too old to piss myself 525 00:18:24,404 --> 00:18:26,320 laughing at your ass. 526 00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:29,490 - I don't need this. Don't need it. 527 00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:31,492 [dramatic music] 528 00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:33,628 - [grunts] 529 00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:36,330 [toggles clicking] 530 00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:37,615 [grunting] 531 00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:40,168 - screw you, miranda! 532 00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:43,954 And that judge that gave you my sword collection. 533 00:18:44,057 --> 00:18:45,673 Ahh! 534 00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:48,309 - I gotta go, guys. 535 00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:50,061 Love you all. 536 00:18:50,146 --> 00:18:52,930 - Hey, you were actually really brave back there. 537 00:18:53,016 --> 00:18:54,315 - You mean after you tried to kill me? 538 00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:55,466 - Oh, come on. 539 00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:56,651 I didn't try to kill you. I just-- 540 00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:57,935 - aided and abetted. 541 00:18:58,021 --> 00:18:59,803 But I should not have said that. 542 00:18:59,906 --> 00:19:01,489 It was the steam and the stress-- 543 00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:02,857 - and the hijackers. 544 00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:04,158 - Them too. 545 00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:05,943 I really want us to work. 546 00:19:06,029 --> 00:19:07,995 I wanna share everything with you. 547 00:19:08,114 --> 00:19:11,332 But if you're not ready for another baby, I understand. 548 00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:12,366 - Thank you, robert. 549 00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:13,868 But it's not gonna be easy 550 00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:15,169 for me to forget what you said. 551 00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:16,487 - Oh, absolutely. 552 00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:18,539 "doghouse: Population me." 553 00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:20,258 - how are we gonna be the spies with soul 554 00:19:20,343 --> 00:19:22,960 when we just beat the snot out of a bunch of tree-huggers? 555 00:19:23,046 --> 00:19:24,545 - Oh, not to worry. 556 00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:27,014 I made that donation in the name of the agency. 557 00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:28,683 Sure to cause quite a bit of a splash. 558 00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:30,834 - Wow. That was really smart. 559 00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:33,304 - And we do seem like more of a team. 560 00:19:33,389 --> 00:19:34,722 - And all it took was a hijacking. 561 00:19:34,807 --> 00:19:37,225 - Yes, but now that I'm a few million in the hole 562 00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:38,526 with you all, 563 00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:40,895 we're gonna have to make some changes around here. 564 00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:43,865 So unless you suddenly find a new source of funds, 565 00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:47,034 you're going to be buying your own drinks, mister. 566 00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:48,519 Indefinitely. 567 00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:50,221 [puppy whines] 568 00:19:50,323 --> 00:19:51,622 - what? 569 00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:13,811 - Made in georgia.