1 00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:34,633 - welcome to l'orange. I'll be your server, kyle. 2 00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:36,335 Our specials tonight... 3 00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:37,647 - damn it, kyle, are you blind? 4 00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:39,449 We're in the middle of a conversation. 5 00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:41,673 - I'm so sorry. 6 00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:43,375 I'll come back. 7 00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:49,348 - Actually, I kinda wish we'd heard the specials now. 8 00:00:50,518 --> 00:00:52,718 This is fun. So fun, right? 9 00:01:32,143 --> 00:01:33,303 This was a doozy 10 00:01:33,344 --> 00:01:34,576 of an idea, archer. 11 00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:36,011 I just love double dates. 12 00:01:36,113 --> 00:01:37,591 - You're at a restaurant, robert. 13 00:01:37,615 --> 00:01:40,282 We can trade money for food here. 14 00:01:40,384 --> 00:01:41,428 Sorry about that, gabrielle. 15 00:01:41,452 --> 00:01:43,585 At his age, robert gets confused easily. 16 00:01:43,621 --> 00:01:45,632 - If it's not painfully obvious yet, 17 00:01:45,656 --> 00:01:48,557 archer is incredibly jealous of my husband. 18 00:01:48,592 --> 00:01:50,470 - Oh, yeah, I-I desperately wish 19 00:01:50,494 --> 00:01:52,606 I had liver spots and eyebrows like haystacks. 20 00:01:52,630 --> 00:01:54,441 - You know what? - Look, why don't we just 21 00:01:54,465 --> 00:01:56,276 acknowledge the elephant in the room? 22 00:01:56,300 --> 00:01:58,411 - That you have borderline personality disorder 23 00:01:58,435 --> 00:02:00,335 and desperately need help? 24 00:02:00,371 --> 00:02:01,548 - I was talking, lana, 25 00:02:01,572 --> 00:02:04,473 about how incredibly gorgeous gabrielle looks tonight. 26 00:02:04,508 --> 00:02:07,442 It's like somebody stuffed 103 pounds of "ka-kow" 27 00:02:07,478 --> 00:02:09,311 into a red golf sock. 28 00:02:09,346 --> 00:02:11,380 - I couldn't agree more. 29 00:02:11,415 --> 00:02:13,326 You look gorgeous, gabrielle. 30 00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:14,516 - Uh, honey, shut up. 31 00:02:14,552 --> 00:02:17,386 So how did you two meet? 32 00:02:17,421 --> 00:02:19,388 - We met in a study my university is conducting 33 00:02:19,423 --> 00:02:21,557 for individuals who have been in a coma. 34 00:02:21,592 --> 00:02:23,537 - Catch that, lana? - That you have brain damage? 35 00:02:23,561 --> 00:02:26,628 - No, I mean the part where gabrielle is a scientist? 36 00:02:26,664 --> 00:02:29,331 - Oh, are you in science as well? 37 00:02:29,366 --> 00:02:31,300 - that's funny. 38 00:02:31,335 --> 00:02:33,535 You see, lana's parents desperately wanted her 39 00:02:33,571 --> 00:02:35,482 to be a scientist, but she hated them. 40 00:02:35,506 --> 00:02:36,716 And now they're dead. - They're not dead. 41 00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:39,341 - How would you know? You're not a scientist. 42 00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:40,554 - You know, one of my foundations 43 00:02:40,578 --> 00:02:42,511 is involved in neuroscience, 44 00:02:42,546 --> 00:02:45,547 and we just did a study on memory-mapping neurons. 45 00:02:45,583 --> 00:02:47,516 - Oh, I just read about that! 46 00:02:47,551 --> 00:02:49,618 Let me ask you, did you agree with their findings 47 00:02:49,653 --> 00:02:51,653 on spatially tuned memory trace cells? 48 00:02:51,689 --> 00:02:54,556 - Slow down. Who am I, andrew fielding huxley? 49 00:02:56,694 --> 00:02:58,627 Gosh, oh, that's good. 50 00:02:58,662 --> 00:03:01,597 - So have we decided on a first course? 51 00:03:01,632 --> 00:03:03,398 - I actually need a little more time. 52 00:03:03,434 --> 00:03:04,674 But, lana, you're probably fine 53 00:03:04,702 --> 00:03:06,602 with the first thing you see, right? 54 00:03:06,637 --> 00:03:09,338 I'm just... 55 00:03:09,373 --> 00:03:11,551 going to go to the ladies' room. 56 00:03:11,575 --> 00:03:12,652 Excuse me. 57 00:03:12,676 --> 00:03:15,644 - Oh, I'll join you. - Great. 58 00:03:15,679 --> 00:03:18,513 - Don't take too long, or I might fall in love with robert. 59 00:03:18,549 --> 00:03:20,716 You know how fast it can happen! 60 00:03:20,751 --> 00:03:23,385 Ha, I was joking, obviously, robert. 61 00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:25,354 The eyebrows are a deal breaker. 62 00:03:26,023 --> 00:03:28,590 - Oh, this is a beautiful restaurant. 63 00:03:28,626 --> 00:03:29,626 - Mm-hmm. 64 00:03:29,660 --> 00:03:32,394 - Robert's great. You're so lucky. 65 00:03:32,429 --> 00:03:34,496 - Uh-huh. - So... 66 00:03:34,531 --> 00:03:36,698 You know archer from work? 67 00:03:36,734 --> 00:03:38,567 - what? 68 00:03:38,602 --> 00:03:40,480 Wait a minute. You're joking, right? 69 00:03:40,504 --> 00:03:42,682 Archer didn't tell you anything about us? 70 00:03:42,706 --> 00:03:44,406 - Oh, just that you work together, 71 00:03:44,441 --> 00:03:45,518 that you're married to robert, 72 00:03:45,542 --> 00:03:47,442 that your jaw makes this clicking sound 73 00:03:47,478 --> 00:03:48,722 when you chew like... 74 00:03:48,746 --> 00:03:50,412 - mm. 75 00:03:50,447 --> 00:03:52,714 He didn't mention that we, uh, I don't know, 76 00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:54,449 have a child together? 77 00:03:54,485 --> 00:03:56,485 - Get out of town! 78 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:57,686 You're aj's mom? 79 00:03:59,590 --> 00:04:01,523 So how's work, archer? 80 00:04:01,558 --> 00:04:02,669 - Hey, robert, don't take this personally, 81 00:04:02,693 --> 00:04:04,571 but there's no way I'm making small talk with you. 82 00:04:04,595 --> 00:04:07,396 Just quietly stare at a candle or something. 83 00:04:07,431 --> 00:04:11,600 - Hey... That gabrielle. 84 00:04:11,635 --> 00:04:14,403 We sure got a type. Rawr! 85 00:04:14,438 --> 00:04:16,750 Seeing them walk off together now, I was just like, 86 00:04:16,774 --> 00:04:20,542 "I wouldn't mind being the cream in that double espresso!" 87 00:04:20,577 --> 00:04:23,445 - hmm. 88 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:27,482 - I've dabbled quite a bit in the exotic arts, as they say. 89 00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:28,750 - Oh, god, please, no. 90 00:04:28,786 --> 00:04:30,563 - So you're telling me you're not upset 91 00:04:30,587 --> 00:04:31,731 that archer didn't mention that your first date 92 00:04:31,755 --> 00:04:34,456 was going to include the mother of his child? 93 00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:35,669 - After all he's been through, 94 00:04:35,693 --> 00:04:37,592 I'm sure it just slipped his mind. 95 00:04:37,628 --> 00:04:38,838 - Or he's a lunatic. 96 00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:41,563 I mean, clearly he asked you out because... 97 00:04:41,598 --> 00:04:43,598 well... - Well, what? 98 00:04:43,634 --> 00:04:45,745 - Oh, come on, he's trying to send a message 99 00:04:45,769 --> 00:04:48,804 that he found a stand-in, you know, for, uh... for this. 100 00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:52,641 - A stand-in? Oh, did you go to yale too? 101 00:04:52,676 --> 00:04:54,587 - No. I mean, I'm sure I could have. 102 00:04:54,611 --> 00:04:56,545 - But you have two phds, I bet. 103 00:04:56,580 --> 00:04:57,746 - Well, no, not two. 104 00:04:57,781 --> 00:04:59,726 No, I have... I have... I have just the one. 105 00:04:59,750 --> 00:05:01,750 - Oh, I see, so you don't mean "stand-in" 106 00:05:01,785 --> 00:05:03,752 as much as you mean "upgrade." 107 00:05:04,822 --> 00:05:06,555 excuse me. 108 00:05:06,590 --> 00:05:07,734 - There! There you go! - What are you doing? 109 00:05:07,758 --> 00:05:08,768 - Now you're all wet. - Ugh! 110 00:05:08,792 --> 00:05:10,726 - Isn't that what you wanted? 111 00:05:10,761 --> 00:05:14,696 - And sure enough, we made love right there in the jazz club. 112 00:05:14,732 --> 00:05:17,432 And to this day, I can't even hear 113 00:05:17,468 --> 00:05:19,768 a muted trumpet without getting erect! 114 00:05:21,638 --> 00:05:22,716 - what a great story, robert. 115 00:05:22,740 --> 00:05:25,507 I just wish it could've been louder and grosser. 116 00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:27,854 - Kyle! Do us a favor and put our food in, would ya? 117 00:05:27,878 --> 00:05:29,789 - Absolutely. What would you like? 118 00:05:29,813 --> 00:05:31,646 - You order for us, kyle. 119 00:05:31,682 --> 00:05:35,784 I'm talkin' apps, entrées... The whole nine yards. 120 00:05:35,819 --> 00:05:37,719 - You're trusting kyle to pick our food? 121 00:05:37,755 --> 00:05:39,588 The entirety of his life's decisions 122 00:05:39,623 --> 00:05:41,857 have led him to this job and that haircut. 123 00:05:41,892 --> 00:05:43,692 No offense, kyle. 124 00:05:43,727 --> 00:05:46,795 Hey, there they are, the two prettiest ladies in the joint. 125 00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:49,798 Or more specifically, a clear number one 126 00:05:49,833 --> 00:05:52,634 and a not-as-well-read, big-boned runner-up. 127 00:05:52,669 --> 00:05:54,681 - You know what? Let me ask you a question. 128 00:05:54,705 --> 00:05:56,649 - What the hell are you doing? 129 00:05:56,673 --> 00:05:59,608 You're supposed to be staking out victor cherenenko. 130 00:05:59,643 --> 00:06:01,743 - Will you two be joining the table? 131 00:06:01,779 --> 00:06:02,744 - No, definitely not. - We were just leaving. 132 00:06:02,780 --> 00:06:04,524 - Sure. - Gabrielle, you could 133 00:06:04,548 --> 00:06:05,614 scooch in next to me. 134 00:06:05,649 --> 00:06:07,649 - Ooh, who's victor cherenenko? 135 00:06:07,684 --> 00:06:08,728 - Oh, russian hacker, 136 00:06:08,752 --> 00:06:10,897 one of interpol's most wanted, gabrielle. 137 00:06:10,921 --> 00:06:12,654 Huge reward out for him. 138 00:06:12,689 --> 00:06:14,756 And I am the one responsible... 139 00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:17,759 - actually, I'm in charge of the mission. 140 00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:19,595 How are you? Cyril figgis. 141 00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:20,740 - Calm down, cyril. 142 00:06:20,764 --> 00:06:23,565 You're getting desperation all over my hot scientist. 143 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,801 - I probably shouldn't be showing you this. 144 00:06:25,836 --> 00:06:28,670 You look like someone who can be trusted. 145 00:06:28,705 --> 00:06:30,717 See, for years, no one has been able to find this guy, 146 00:06:30,741 --> 00:06:32,886 but recently he's been popping his head up in public. 147 00:06:32,910 --> 00:06:35,544 So as team leader, I took it upon myself 148 00:06:35,579 --> 00:06:38,580 to synthesize data from his financial records, and ta-da. 149 00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:39,859 - You were able to produce that wet diaper 150 00:06:39,883 --> 00:06:41,750 of a worthless dossier. 151 00:06:41,785 --> 00:06:43,897 The thing says cherenenko is a regular at this place, 152 00:06:43,921 --> 00:06:44,964 and yet... 153 00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:46,922 - hey, isn't that him? Cherenenko? 154 00:06:46,957 --> 00:06:49,825 You see that, archer? I was right. 155 00:06:49,860 --> 00:06:50,926 He's here after all. 156 00:06:50,961 --> 00:06:52,806 - I mean, it doesn't take that much 157 00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:53,873 to look at a credit card statement 158 00:06:53,897 --> 00:06:56,731 and see that guy comes to a restaurant a lot 159 00:06:56,767 --> 00:06:58,645 and that... - God damn it, archer! 160 00:06:58,669 --> 00:07:00,602 - Wow, this is so exciting! 161 00:07:00,637 --> 00:07:02,704 So what do we do now? Like, go detain him? 162 00:07:02,739 --> 00:07:03,917 - oh, man. 163 00:07:03,941 --> 00:07:05,652 Guess they don't teach you everything 164 00:07:05,676 --> 00:07:06,753 in neurobiology school. 165 00:07:06,777 --> 00:07:08,777 - Well, no, obviously not. 166 00:07:08,812 --> 00:07:11,680 - As much as I love taking advice on spycraft 167 00:07:11,715 --> 00:07:14,549 from civilians, you can't just go up and detain 168 00:07:14,585 --> 00:07:16,763 a guy with an armed bodyguard protecting him. 169 00:07:16,787 --> 00:07:17,797 - Lana's right. 170 00:07:17,821 --> 00:07:19,666 Even if we took the bodyguard out, 171 00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:22,557 we'd have 50 russian goons on our doorstep 172 00:07:22,593 --> 00:07:23,670 looking for blood in the morning. 173 00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:24,838 - Uh, yeah, that's what I'm saying. 174 00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:26,761 So the plan is, we go over... 175 00:07:26,797 --> 00:07:28,964 - excuse me, I'm in charge, and as such, 176 00:07:28,999 --> 00:07:31,933 I have constructed our apprehension strategy. 177 00:07:31,969 --> 00:07:34,703 Okay, we wait for him to leave, and we tail him. 178 00:07:34,738 --> 00:07:35,815 Then we find an opportunity 179 00:07:35,839 --> 00:07:37,750 to separate him from his bodyguard, 180 00:07:37,774 --> 00:07:39,919 lure him somewhere quiet, and bring him down. 181 00:07:39,943 --> 00:07:42,844 Voilà. A classic figgis. 182 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:45,680 - I thought a classic figgis was when you get 183 00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:47,760 your genitals caught in the zipper of a sleeping bag. 184 00:07:47,784 --> 00:07:49,684 - You know very well that wasn't user error. 185 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,653 There was a factory recall! 186 00:07:51,688 --> 00:07:52,866 I'm going to the men's room real quick. 187 00:07:52,890 --> 00:07:54,756 Don't do anything without me. 188 00:07:55,959 --> 00:08:00,562 - So, gabrielle, how do you feel about jazz? 189 00:08:01,632 --> 00:08:02,876 - and how are you this evening, sir? 190 00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:04,866 - Very well, thank you. 191 00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:06,735 I actually just had a, uh, 192 00:08:06,770 --> 00:08:07,914 pretty big professional victory. 193 00:08:07,938 --> 00:08:09,716 That is wonderful, sir. 194 00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:10,984 - Thanks. You know that feeling when you take 195 00:08:11,008 --> 00:08:13,775 a big step forward at work and people notice? 196 00:08:13,810 --> 00:08:16,678 - Yes, sir. Very magical, sir. 197 00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:19,614 - Oh, uh, I left my wallet in my jacket, 198 00:08:19,650 --> 00:08:20,715 and I'll just... 199 00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:22,911 good call. I'm on a diet. 200 00:08:26,023 --> 00:08:27,989 May I offer you a towel? 201 00:08:28,025 --> 00:08:29,658 - Hey, excuse me, sir... 202 00:08:42,806 --> 00:08:45,840 - ooh, he's really giving it to her. 203 00:08:45,876 --> 00:08:47,854 They're leaving. 204 00:08:47,878 --> 00:08:49,956 Perfect, when they get outside, we follow them. 205 00:08:49,980 --> 00:08:52,047 - Gabrielle, I'm sorry to tell you, 206 00:08:52,082 --> 00:08:54,649 but you're about to dive headfirst 207 00:08:54,685 --> 00:08:57,018 into a high-speed chase, so buckle up. 208 00:08:57,054 --> 00:08:58,865 - Shouldn't we just leave her here? 209 00:08:58,889 --> 00:09:00,833 - No, lana, I'm sorry you're threatened 210 00:09:00,857 --> 00:09:03,792 because gabrielle is so smart and accomplished and... 211 00:09:03,827 --> 00:09:06,695 - Hot. - Thank you, horny new guy. 212 00:09:06,730 --> 00:09:08,875 We are not ditching her. Here, put this on, gabrielle. 213 00:09:08,899 --> 00:09:10,777 I wouldn't want you to catch cold. 214 00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:12,934 You should, uh, put this on to, um, 215 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:16,004 cover up your hideous... 216 00:09:16,039 --> 00:09:17,772 Elbows. 217 00:09:17,808 --> 00:09:19,786 - Ya had trouble finding something, didn't ya? 218 00:09:19,810 --> 00:09:21,943 - Shut up, lana! 219 00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:27,716 Hold on. 220 00:09:29,052 --> 00:09:31,064 All right, go! Everybody into my car. 221 00:09:31,088 --> 00:09:32,721 Good news. 222 00:09:32,756 --> 00:09:34,055 The bodyguard is now locked 223 00:09:34,091 --> 00:09:36,925 in a bathroom supply... Closet. 224 00:09:38,795 --> 00:09:39,961 It's my mission. 225 00:09:39,997 --> 00:09:42,731 - Okay, so here we have the first courses, 226 00:09:42,766 --> 00:09:44,010 fried lobster in puff pastry 227 00:09:44,034 --> 00:09:46,001 over four-cheese grits. 228 00:09:49,873 --> 00:09:50,984 All right, gabrielle, 229 00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:52,986 get ready for the ride of your... 230 00:09:56,780 --> 00:09:57,957 life. 231 00:09:57,981 --> 00:09:59,848 - uh, what did he just say? 232 00:09:59,883 --> 00:10:01,060 - Life, robert! He said life! 233 00:10:01,084 --> 00:10:02,929 He was finishing a thought from before! 234 00:10:02,953 --> 00:10:05,053 Archer! 235 00:10:05,088 --> 00:10:06,165 - I'm sorry. 236 00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:08,067 He did a "what did he just say?" 237 00:10:08,091 --> 00:10:10,759 he's doing all the top ten old-guy hits, 238 00:10:10,794 --> 00:10:12,074 coast-to-coast! 239 00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:16,859 This is what happens 240 00:10:16,883 --> 00:10:19,684 when you give bicyclists their own lane. 241 00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:22,454 What's next, a lane for vegetarians? 242 00:10:22,556 --> 00:10:23,633 - Sorry, gabrielle. 243 00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:24,867 It's usually a little chasier than this. 244 00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:26,625 - Oh, no, don't apologize. 245 00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:28,647 This is a great opportunity for me to get to know 246 00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:29,906 your friends just a little bit better. 247 00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:32,664 - All right, I'll start. Uh, this one's for anybody. 248 00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:35,533 Who's ever met a potential love interest 249 00:10:35,569 --> 00:10:38,870 over the unconscious body of their child's father? 250 00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:41,806 - Oh, my god. This again? - This again, what? 251 00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:43,808 - Well, you got shot by a murder suspect 252 00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:45,577 you were supposed to be investigating 253 00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:48,580 but instead were having sex with who, by the way, 254 00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:50,782 after shooting you, got away! 255 00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:55,553 - Hey, look what we got going on back here. 256 00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:57,722 I feel like the cream inside of an ore... 257 00:10:57,758 --> 00:11:00,625 - do not finish that sentence. 258 00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:03,906 - Hey, kyle. 259 00:11:03,930 --> 00:11:06,598 Would you mind parking the dessert cart over here? 260 00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:08,578 And you might want to throw the emergency brake on, 261 00:11:08,602 --> 00:11:11,636 because I have a feeling things could go sideways pretty fast. 262 00:11:11,672 --> 00:11:14,606 - Actually, sir, some diners have been complaining 263 00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:16,741 that your constant crying and chewing 264 00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:17,876 is bumming them out. 265 00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:19,644 If you wouldn't mind... 266 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:22,614 - Oh, they didn't leave a credit card? 267 00:11:22,649 --> 00:11:23,815 Jeezy petes! 268 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:27,619 I had a serving of bone marrow, not a goddamn transplant. 269 00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:29,688 All right, I... 270 00:11:29,723 --> 00:11:31,589 Hey! My jacket's gone! 271 00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:33,858 Listen, kyle, my wallet was in my jacket, 272 00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:35,872 and it appears my friends must've grabbed it. 273 00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:37,640 So I'm gonna have to... 274 00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:38,941 to have someone come down 275 00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:40,977 and meet me here with a credit card. 276 00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:42,734 - There you go. 277 00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:50,675 - Don't spray that urine on my son's window. 278 00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:53,611 If you want a dollar for doing nothing, walk to canada. 279 00:11:53,647 --> 00:11:55,892 - What are you even doing on this mission to begin with? 280 00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:57,649 - Cyril needed me. 281 00:11:57,684 --> 00:11:59,617 It would've looked weird for him to be sitting 282 00:11:59,653 --> 00:12:00,919 at that restaurant all alone. 283 00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:02,721 - Who were you supposed to be? 284 00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:04,589 - His date, obviously. 285 00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:08,660 - excuse me, it's not that crazy at all 286 00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:09,872 that these two would be together. 287 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:12,831 Not much further apart in age than lana and I are. 288 00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:14,877 - Self-burn. - Plus, she's beautiful 289 00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:16,601 and successful. 290 00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:18,648 You know who you remind me of, malory? 291 00:12:18,672 --> 00:12:19,738 My ex-wife. 292 00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:22,640 - Malory reminds you of linda? The supermodel? 293 00:12:22,676 --> 00:12:23,842 - No, no, no, no, no, no. 294 00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:26,644 I'm talking about zelda, my first ex-wife. 295 00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:28,947 Linda was my third ex-wife. - Your what? 296 00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:30,849 - Oh, bobby, bobby, bobby. 297 00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:33,852 I think the phrase you're looking for is "gulp." 298 00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:40,002 - what's wrong with your face, krieger? 299 00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:43,027 - Yeah. Did you rack your nuts on your proton pack? 300 00:12:44,831 --> 00:12:47,966 - oh, mitsuko and I got into an argument. 301 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:50,869 She said she thinks maybe her feelings are changing about us. 302 00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:52,615 - Let me tell you something everyone hears 303 00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:53,850 at some point in their lives: 304 00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:55,918 That anime hologram's just not that into you. 305 00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,610 - No! It's probably just a phase, right? 306 00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:00,678 - yello? 307 00:13:00,714 --> 00:13:02,847 - Pam! Listen! 308 00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:04,749 I need you to come to l'orange. 309 00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:06,729 Archer stuck me with a huge tab, 310 00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:08,931 then left with my coat which had my wallet in it, 311 00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:11,723 and there's a menacing busboy who won't stop staring at me. 312 00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:13,736 And you want me to come over there 313 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:15,972 and blow a busboy so he'll forget about your dinner tab. 314 00:13:15,996 --> 00:13:18,930 - What? No, come with money to pay the tab. 315 00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,965 Oh. Lame. 316 00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:22,812 - Okay, let me get this straight. 317 00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:25,904 You've been married four times and it never occurred to you 318 00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:28,673 to share that information with your wife? 319 00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:29,908 - It's personal, dear. 320 00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:32,710 I didn't ask you how many times you'd been married. 321 00:13:32,746 --> 00:13:34,924 - Zero! I'd been married zero times! 322 00:13:34,948 --> 00:13:36,815 - Well, now I see why. 323 00:13:38,952 --> 00:13:39,996 - who were they? 324 00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:41,786 - Linda, of course. 325 00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:44,055 Then hafsa, she was a gift from the saudi crown. 326 00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:46,991 Would've been rude to say no. And then zelda. 327 00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:50,895 We didn't technically divorce. I lost her on safari. 328 00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:52,975 - Oh, my god, this guy's on fire. 329 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:55,800 - I'm not sure if it's a big deal, but... 330 00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:57,814 That guy you're following, he just got out of that cab. 331 00:13:57,838 --> 00:13:59,871 - Damn it, he's getting away! Follow him! 332 00:13:59,906 --> 00:14:00,872 - I can't, mother! 333 00:14:00,907 --> 00:14:02,018 What do you want me to do, 334 00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:04,909 just leave the car here in the middle of 5th ave? 335 00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:06,978 - Oh, yes, big smiles. 336 00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:09,881 I, too, would be excited if I were about to overdose 337 00:14:09,916 --> 00:14:12,817 somewhere in a hollowed-out box spring. 338 00:14:12,853 --> 00:14:14,096 - You know, I've always thought 339 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:17,055 that busboys were the backbone of the restaurant industry. 340 00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:22,093 - I'm a woman. - And a beautiful one at that. 341 00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:25,830 There you are! - Oh, you look like shit, dude. 342 00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:26,876 Have you been crying? 343 00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:29,000 - Crying? no. 344 00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,146 Yes! - 345 00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:32,871 - okay, oh, cyril. 346 00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:34,806 Come on, let's get out of here. 347 00:14:34,841 --> 00:14:35,985 Oh, uh, 348 00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:37,049 right, the tab, uh... 349 00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:39,055 - cyril, don't worry about the tab. 350 00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:40,845 I got this. 351 00:14:40,881 --> 00:14:43,781 This waiter just touched my breasts! 352 00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:46,784 - what? 353 00:14:46,820 --> 00:14:48,130 - Again, I just can't put into words 354 00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:49,154 how mortified I am. 355 00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:50,900 - Well, you should be mortified. 356 00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:52,802 I know my breasts certainly are. 357 00:14:52,826 --> 00:14:53,925 Right, ladies? 358 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,059 - Hey, hot shot, 359 00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:58,763 call me if you ever want to have your world rocked. 360 00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:01,933 - You voted libertarian? - Sure, twice. 361 00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:04,802 Hey, I know seat belts save lives, 362 00:15:04,838 --> 00:15:07,839 but who is the government to require me to wear one? 363 00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:09,051 - Is there anything else you haven't told me? 364 00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:10,820 - No. - In my experience, 365 00:15:10,844 --> 00:15:13,155 you have to ask exploratory questions, like... 366 00:15:13,179 --> 00:15:15,157 Robert, have you ever done anything 367 00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:17,782 that you're deeply sad about? 368 00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:21,853 - I mean, I guess if I had to pick one thing... 369 00:15:21,888 --> 00:15:24,122 Oh, gosh, it'd be the dogs. 370 00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:25,123 - The dogs? 371 00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:28,793 - I've had 11 dogs die on me. 372 00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:30,962 - 11? How is that possible? 373 00:15:30,997 --> 00:15:34,198 - Well, you know, there's just a huge language barrier. 374 00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:37,068 - oh, my god, what the hell is wrong with you? 375 00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:38,881 What beautiful architecture 376 00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:41,806 they have here in new york city, new york, 377 00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:44,809 where we are visiting as tourists. 378 00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:49,191 Jesus christ, lana, will you quit fighting 379 00:15:49,215 --> 00:15:51,093 with your husband before you give us away? 380 00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:52,929 - we wouldn't be in a fight if you hadn't 381 00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:54,830 set up this stupid double date in the first place. 382 00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:55,954 Boy howdy. 383 00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:57,133 I sure hope someday we get these kind 384 00:15:57,157 --> 00:16:00,858 of tall buildings back at home in... Arizona. 385 00:16:00,894 --> 00:16:02,838 - Shit, he's heading to the park. 386 00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:09,979 Follow that horse! And step on it! 387 00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:13,972 - you there, follow that cab! 388 00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:17,008 - On a break. - Let me try. 389 00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:20,912 Well, I can see why they call it a hansom cab. 390 00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:23,114 You sure are the best-looking son of a gun 391 00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:24,916 I've seen all night. 392 00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:26,195 - Oh, is that a fact? 393 00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:28,953 - Oh, I was talking to the horse. 394 00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:30,955 I figured he ran the business. 395 00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:34,859 - gosh, oh, that's good. 396 00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:40,898 - hmm, they seem to be in love. 397 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,045 Wonder whose still-breathing body they met over. 398 00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:45,147 - Oh, my god, you are absolutely cracked in the head. 399 00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:48,039 We weren't even together when you went into a coma, okay? 400 00:16:48,074 --> 00:16:50,019 You were banging some old broad who then, 401 00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:52,076 god bless her soul, shot you. 402 00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:54,912 - Better to be shot than stabbed in the back, lana. 403 00:16:54,948 --> 00:16:57,048 - I'm surprised this isn't something you've mentioned 404 00:16:57,083 --> 00:17:00,051 about your time in a coma if it bothers you so much. 405 00:17:00,086 --> 00:17:01,786 - Oh, it doesn't. 406 00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:03,099 - Why do you even care that I'm with robert? 407 00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:04,934 - I don't! - It was clear that you 408 00:17:04,958 --> 00:17:06,068 were never going to commit to me. 409 00:17:06,092 --> 00:17:07,058 - You don't know that! 410 00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:09,827 - So if lana hadn't met robert... 411 00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:11,841 - Over my still very much alive body 412 00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:13,008 with a functioning sex organ, 413 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,010 as I imagine was included in my records. 414 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:18,069 - Then you would've wanted to be together? 415 00:17:18,104 --> 00:17:19,137 - Excuse me! 416 00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:20,772 Whose ass do I have to kiss 417 00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:22,087 to get more hot cocoa back here? 418 00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:24,842 - coney island? 419 00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:26,922 Look, I appreciate you guys bringing me here 420 00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:28,991 to cheer me up, but I'm a grown man. 421 00:17:29,015 --> 00:17:30,815 - Oh, cheer you up? 422 00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:33,050 A waiter just touched my breasts, asshole. 423 00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:34,897 - If you're in need of some cheering up, 424 00:17:34,921 --> 00:17:37,066 this is the place. Come on. 425 00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:40,091 Whoa, look! Wacky mirrors! 426 00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:46,031 Driver! 427 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,865 Now we're going too fast! 428 00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:49,901 We're trying to follow that horse in front of us, 429 00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:51,035 not inseminate it. 430 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,149 - I remember when the park was a place you'd come 431 00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:55,807 to get away from the hustle and bustle. 432 00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:58,843 - Me too. I had an aunt who'd take me here. 433 00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:00,823 We'd sit on a park bench for hours, 434 00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:03,915 just chatting and throwing lit matches at the pigeons. 435 00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:05,995 - My friends and I would feed the pigeons alka-seltzer, 436 00:18:06,019 --> 00:18:07,885 watch them explode! 437 00:18:09,122 --> 00:18:10,988 Yeah! 438 00:18:11,024 --> 00:18:12,957 Slow the hell down! 439 00:18:12,992 --> 00:18:15,860 - Come on, buddy, what's got you so down? 440 00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:19,030 You can talk to ol' pam. - It's... Archer. 441 00:18:19,065 --> 00:18:20,865 - And what about him? 442 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:22,834 - I hate him! 443 00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:25,036 I hate his stupid face! 444 00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:26,971 And his stupid car! 445 00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:28,840 And his stupid coma cane! 446 00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:29,919 And his stupid... 447 00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:32,143 doesn't give me the respect I deserve! 448 00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:34,223 How hard is it for you to acknowledge 449 00:18:34,247 --> 00:18:37,181 the good shape I've gotten in? Ah! 450 00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:40,852 How much I've improved as a field agent? Ah! 451 00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:43,955 I learned mandarin, for christ's sake! 452 00:18:43,990 --> 00:18:46,101 I hate you, sterling archer! 453 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,037 I hate you and everything you've done 454 00:18:48,061 --> 00:18:50,061 to make me feel this... agh! 455 00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:54,131 - Cyril, I see the job you're doing. 456 00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:57,034 You've been knocking it out of the park as a field agent. 457 00:18:57,070 --> 00:18:59,003 - Really? - Really. 458 00:18:59,038 --> 00:19:00,838 When I thought archer was dead, 459 00:19:00,874 --> 00:19:04,041 I literally said, "well, at least we still got cyril." 460 00:19:04,077 --> 00:19:05,087 - you did? 461 00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:06,111 - Sure. 462 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:07,945 I need the agency to stay afloat. 463 00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:09,146 I can't get another job. 464 00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:12,149 I have, like, a shit-ton of felonies. 465 00:19:12,185 --> 00:19:14,029 Thanks, pam. 466 00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:20,925 Then why did you set this double date up, archer? 467 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,104 - Seriously, out of all the women 468 00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:23,172 you could've asked out... 469 00:19:23,196 --> 00:19:25,107 - Of which there are literally billions. 470 00:19:25,131 --> 00:19:27,098 - Proving her point. - Damn it. 471 00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:30,902 - You chose one that kinda, well, is my doppelganger? 472 00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:32,904 - Yeah, why is that, archer? 473 00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:34,016 - Um, if you two are through playing 474 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,107 amateur neuropsychobiologist, 475 00:19:36,142 --> 00:19:39,010 our russian is headed for the subway. 476 00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:44,293 - archer, I'll come at them from around the back. 477 00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:46,128 You approach them from the left flank. 478 00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:47,196 - I almost hate to do it. 479 00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:49,921 Those two look really happy together. 480 00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:52,167 - Yeah. It's nice to be in love with someone. 481 00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:54,091 You should try it. 482 00:19:54,127 --> 00:19:56,127 - Well, if it means being as happy 483 00:19:56,162 --> 00:19:59,964 as that russian hacker and his girlfriend, I actually... 484 00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:01,176 Oh! - God damn it. 485 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,200 - Oh-ho-ho-no! 486 00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:08,172 - Ew. Should we call the police? 487 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,240 Meh. 488 00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:15,224 - So, gabrielle, this is usually the part of the date 489 00:20:15,248 --> 00:20:17,326 when we head back to my place for great sex. 490 00:20:17,350 --> 00:20:21,218 - Archer, look, you seem like a really nice guy... 491 00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:23,020 - Ha! - Shut up, lana. 492 00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:24,233 You were saying? Nice guy. 493 00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:26,324 Fully functioning sex organ. Go on. 494 00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:29,126 - But it's clear you still have feelings for lana. 495 00:20:29,162 --> 00:20:31,329 - wait, me? For her? 496 00:20:31,364 --> 00:20:34,999 Wh-why would I want lana when I could have you? 497 00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:38,269 A totally different noncomparable unique person 498 00:20:38,304 --> 00:20:42,306 who... Shouldn't be exploited for personal vendettas, sorry. 499 00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:45,409 - Yeah, that part. It was nice to meet ya, lana. 500 00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:48,112 Uh, maybe we could get together sometime. 501 00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:49,992 - You know what? I actually would not mind 502 00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:51,160 hanging out with you again. 503 00:20:51,184 --> 00:20:52,261 Hey, wait, gabrielle. 504 00:20:52,285 --> 00:20:54,151 But... Sex time. 505 00:20:54,187 --> 00:20:55,286 Gabrielle! 506 00:20:57,156 --> 00:20:59,234 - Aw, you liked her, didn't you? 507 00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:00,224 - I don't know. 508 00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:01,225 - But you didn't realize it 509 00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:02,371 till just now, huh? 510 00:21:02,395 --> 00:21:03,995 - maybe. 511 00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:05,240 - I mean, I thought she was great. 512 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:08,366 - Whatever. - I mean, smart, charming. 513 00:21:08,401 --> 00:21:10,279 And those cans, am I right? 514 00:21:10,303 --> 00:21:13,004 - Yeah, they looked pretty squeezy. 515 00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:14,316 - Thinking maybe instead of asking her out 516 00:21:14,340 --> 00:21:16,085 to make me jealous, you should've just 517 00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:18,669 asked her out because she's awesome. 518 00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:27,184 Honey, I'm home. 519 00:21:27,220 --> 00:21:29,198 You know what I'd do if I were you? 520 00:21:29,222 --> 00:21:31,233 - Wait, wait, wait, wait, this is my favorite part! 521 00:21:31,257 --> 00:21:33,090 - Mine too! 522 00:21:33,126 --> 00:21:36,160 Fill my boots with lead and jump in the ocean, 523 00:21:36,195 --> 00:21:38,329 you pig-nosed gypsy! 524 00:21:40,199 --> 00:21:41,243 - oh, gosh, that's good. 525 00:21:41,267 --> 00:21:43,787 - fantastic. 526 00:22:04,290 --> 00:22:07,224 - Made in georgia. 527 00:22:07,248 --> 00:22:09,248 >>>>oakislandtk<<<<< www.opensubtitles.org