1
00:00:02,892 --> 00:00:04,949
What do you mean
"Lana hasn't called"?
2
00:00:05,079 --> 00:00:08,119
I mean, I've been sitting
here for like five million years,
3
00:00:08,121 --> 00:00:10,661
and the phone hasn't rung once,
and so every time it doesn't,
4
00:00:10,663 --> 00:00:13,398
I just assume it's not her,
not calling to say they...
5
00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:16,964
They should've rescued Sterling
and Rip from the pirates hours ago!
6
00:00:16,966 --> 00:00:19,730
- Maybe they did and
just didn't call... - No,
7
00:00:19,732 --> 00:00:23,635
I gave them explicit orders to
What the hell are you wearing?
8
00:00:23,637 --> 00:00:24,904
Uh, this
thing cal cd my boss made
9
00:00:24,906 --> 00:00:26,840
me sleep at my desk, so pajamas?
10
00:00:26,842 --> 00:00:28,575
Men's pajamas?
11
00:00:28,577 --> 00:00:32,443
For God's sake woman,
where is your pride?
12
00:00:32,445 --> 00:00:33,611
In my work.
13
00:00:33,613 --> 00:00:36,512
That may be the funniest
thing you've ever said.
14
00:00:36,514 --> 00:00:37,212
Thank you.
15
00:00:37,214 --> 00:00:38,513
Oh shut up.
16
00:00:38,515 --> 00:00:43,021
And then try Lana's sat-phone!
Wait, what if Lana's been captured, too?
17
00:00:43,023 --> 00:00:47,626
Then I'll have to ransom her and
Sterling and Rip and, well no,
18
00:00:47,628 --> 00:00:49,194
Miss Gillette's on her own.
19
00:00:49,196 --> 00:00:51,531
Still, get Cyril in here!
20
00:00:51,533 --> 00:00:54,033
I need him to find a way
to pay for all this!
21
00:00:54,035 --> 00:00:58,371
Wait a minute, that can't be right...
I remember being really
22
00:00:58,373 --> 00:01:04,478
mad and really drunk and deciding to
do some online Banking! Oh my God,
23
00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:08,050
I must have embezz, arrassed
myself last night, huh?
24
00:01:08,052 --> 00:01:11,019
Don't talk like black
people, and how should I know?
25
00:01:11,021 --> 00:01:12,588
I'm still ripped.
26
00:01:12,590 --> 00:01:16,259
So, you don't, um,
happen to remember me saying
27
00:01:16,261 --> 00:01:20,163
anything about passwords to
say, Swiss bank accounts?
28
00:01:20,165 --> 00:01:23,666
I don't even remember
who peed on your sofa.
29
00:01:23,668 --> 00:01:26,301
- Although, if I was a gamblin' man...
- Cyril!
30
00:01:26,303 --> 00:01:26,868
What!
31
00:01:26,870 --> 00:01:29,204
Ugh, smells
like a kennel in here.
32
00:01:29,206 --> 00:01:31,405
Cash reserves, how
much do we have?
33
00:01:31,407 --> 00:01:35,608
- I'll, uh, need to run those
numbers - Well hurry up,
34
00:01:35,610 --> 00:01:36,776
we don't have a minute to lose!
35
00:01:36,778 --> 00:01:41,680
God only knows what kind of
torture Sterling's going through.
36
00:02:00,569 --> 00:02:04,572
Get off the bucket.
37
00:02:04,574 --> 00:02:05,641
I'm not done.
38
00:02:05,643 --> 00:02:06,709
Yes, you are.
39
00:02:06,711 --> 00:02:10,212
But I didn't, you know, I
can't with all the everybody
40
00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:12,748
looking at me, and
then the judgements.
41
00:02:12,750 --> 00:02:13,249
Noah?
42
00:02:13,251 --> 00:02:13,649
Yes?
43
00:02:13,651 --> 00:02:15,585
I just traveled eight
thousand miles and got ambushed
44
00:02:15,587 --> 00:02:18,321
by Malaysian pirates trying to
rescue a person who is now
45
00:02:18,323 --> 00:02:21,357
responsible for my
getting crabs twice?
46
00:02:21,359 --> 00:02:25,161
Oh come on, These crabs,
this time, were not my fault.
47
00:02:25,163 --> 00:02:29,465
- This whole dungeon is, um...
- Were you gonna say "lousy with them"?
48
00:02:29,467 --> 00:02:34,503
- I was, but then I realized that's...
- Where that phrase comes from, yeah.
49
00:02:34,505 --> 00:02:35,404
Yeah.
50
00:02:35,406 --> 00:02:35,938
Yeah.
51
00:02:35,940 --> 00:02:36,338
Yeah.
52
00:02:36,340 --> 00:02:38,707
So Guess what I'm in.
53
00:02:38,709 --> 00:02:40,041
No mood?
54
00:02:40,043 --> 00:02:42,577
Winner winner, chicken dinner.
55
00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:44,746
Wait, shouldn't it
be some kinda crab dish?
56
00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:46,448
Because of the crabs?
57
00:02:46,450 --> 00:02:48,518
Like crabcakes?
58
00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:49,786
Ooh, or Lana.
59
00:02:49,788 --> 00:02:51,454
Lana.
60
00:02:51,456 --> 00:02:54,124
Lana.
61
00:02:54,126 --> 00:02:55,259
Lanaaahhhhh!
62
00:02:55,261 --> 00:02:55,660
What?
63
00:02:55,662 --> 00:02:58,997
Dugenon us crabs.
64
00:02:58,999 --> 00:03:02,635
Cause we're in a dungeon.
65
00:03:02,637 --> 00:03:04,603
I'm kidding, crab rangoon.
66
00:03:05,939 --> 00:03:15,482
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
67
00:03:40,418 --> 00:03:43,486
Noah, seriously, I swear to God...
Stop.
68
00:03:43,488 --> 00:03:46,122
Rock beats spoon, you should know
that, you're an archaeologist.
69
00:03:46,124 --> 00:03:47,590
Ann!
70
00:03:47,592 --> 00:03:48,658
Thropologist!
71
00:03:48,660 --> 00:03:51,494
I mean if you're doing it just
to get on my nerves, okay I get it,
72
00:03:51,496 --> 00:03:55,966
- but if you're trying to actually escape...
- Well at least he's trying something.
73
00:03:55,968 --> 00:03:58,701
- As opposed to the doublemint twins...
- Meh!
74
00:03:58,703 --> 00:04:00,570
And it's one, two,
three, go Herd!
75
00:04:00,572 --> 00:04:03,973
- Missed it by
that much - Shut up.
76
00:04:03,975 --> 00:04:07,210
It's no use. That trap door goes
up a vertical shaft to the radio room...
77
00:04:07,212 --> 00:04:10,680
- Exactly, and if we get to the radio...
- Which this idiot shot to piece...
78
00:04:10,682 --> 00:04:12,682
Holy shit.
79
00:04:12,684 --> 00:04:13,049
Wh-?
80
00:04:13,051 --> 00:04:14,650
What the hell happened to him?!
81
00:04:14,652 --> 00:04:15,518
- He...
- Who knows?!
82
00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:17,086
Maybe a brain aneurysm!
83
00:04:17,088 --> 00:04:19,521
No, he...
It's the silent killer!
84
00:04:19,523 --> 00:04:19,988
Noah!
85
00:04:19,990 --> 00:04:21,323
Not unlike a metal spoon.
86
00:04:21,325 --> 00:04:24,859
Sharpened to a razor's edge and
used to slit an anthropologist's
87
00:04:24,861 --> 00:04:26,260
birdlike throat.
88
00:04:26,262 --> 00:04:31,832
- He just kinda keeled over...
- Probably thanks to your bucket-stankch.
89
00:04:31,834 --> 00:04:32,299
- Wh-?
90
00:04:32,301 --> 00:04:33,300
I didn't even go!
91
00:04:33,302 --> 00:04:35,903
We're going, one,
two, three, down Herd!
92
00:04:35,905 --> 00:04:36,370
Oof!
93
00:04:36,372 --> 00:04:37,637
Jeez, how bout a little warning?!
94
00:04:37,639 --> 00:04:38,405
I said "Down Herd."
95
00:04:38,407 --> 00:04:41,074
Couple things, one, Ray,
thanks for perpetuating the
96
00:04:41,076 --> 00:04:44,043
stereotype of the gay man as
collegiate cheerleader...
97
00:04:44,045 --> 00:04:47,814
For your information,
almost all male cheerleaders are...
98
00:04:47,816 --> 00:04:51,551
- Finely-tuned heteroathletes,
yeah, hang on, I'm getting a call.
99
00:04:51,553 --> 00:04:52,553
Brrnng, hello?
100
00:04:52,555 --> 00:04:54,755
Hi, it's lacrosse, you lose.
101
00:04:54,757 --> 00:04:56,157
Lacrosse?!
102
00:04:56,159 --> 00:04:59,394
Yeah, it's
Algonquin for bloodsport?
103
00:04:59,396 --> 00:05:01,129
That's not
Algonquin for anything.
104
00:05:01,131 --> 00:05:01,797
Noah?
105
00:05:01,799 --> 00:05:02,331
- My sat-phone!
106
00:05:02,333 --> 00:05:04,901
Yeah, Noah,
her, wait, your what?
107
00:05:04,903 --> 00:05:05,869
- My sat-phone!
108
00:05:05,871 --> 00:05:07,070
The pirates took it!
109
00:05:07,072 --> 00:05:11,340
And since I haven't called in, ISIS
should be calling me any time now!
110
00:05:11,342 --> 00:05:15,545
Jeezow Lana,
answer your stupid phone.
111
00:05:15,547 --> 00:05:16,079
Hello?!
112
00:05:16,081 --> 00:05:17,481
Gimme Sterleen Archer mudda!
113
00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:20,251
Oh my God be more Chinesey.
114
00:05:20,253 --> 00:05:21,652
Pirates, line two!
115
00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:22,053
- Wh-?
116
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:22,754
Well for -- put them through!
117
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:25,356
Oh my God be more I hate you.
118
00:05:25,358 --> 00:05:27,525
That's why your
phone is blinking!
119
00:05:27,527 --> 00:05:28,993
Oh. Hello?
120
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:32,697
- This is Malory Archer...
- This is Malory Archer...
121
00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:34,866
Okay, den you lissen to me!
122
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:37,269
No, you just
listen to me, buster!
123
00:05:37,271 --> 00:05:37,702
Bucky!
124
00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:39,705
If you touch one
hair on my son's head,
125
00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:41,640
I'll have your guts for garters!
126
00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:44,510
You like wear garter?
127
00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:44,978
- Wh-?
128
00:05:44,980 --> 00:05:45,745
It's an idiom!
129
00:05:45,747 --> 00:05:46,846
You heathen!
130
00:05:46,848 --> 00:05:50,450
Malory will call, she'll haggle
over the ransom for me, you and Riley.
131
00:05:50,452 --> 00:05:51,851
What about me?
132
00:05:51,853 --> 00:05:52,552
And me?
133
00:05:52,554 --> 00:05:55,021
- We'll come back for you
later - No, shut up,
134
00:05:55,023 --> 00:05:57,557
we gotta get that phone, or
something, I don't know,
135
00:05:57,559 --> 00:05:59,993
but I don't want Mother
talking to Bucky!
136
00:05:59,995 --> 00:06:00,460
Why not?
137
00:06:00,462 --> 00:06:03,363
She's been coming to your rescue
since you were in short pants!
138
00:06:03,365 --> 00:06:06,299
Rr. Rr. Rrr!
139
00:06:06,301 --> 00:06:09,302
Oh for, Sterling get your things.
We're leaving.
140
00:06:09,304 --> 00:06:12,705
Before this quack's office
burns to the ground.
141
00:06:12,707 --> 00:06:16,175
Rr. Rr. Rrr!
142
00:06:16,177 --> 00:06:17,710
Sterling get your things.
143
00:06:17,712 --> 00:06:18,812
We're leaving.
144
00:06:18,814 --> 00:06:22,181
Before this cruddy school
burns to the ground.
145
00:06:22,183 --> 00:06:25,252
Rr. Rr. Rrr!
146
00:06:25,254 --> 00:06:27,220
Sterling get your things!
147
00:06:27,222 --> 00:06:28,622
He's gay.
148
00:06:28,624 --> 00:06:29,556
You were in the army?
149
00:06:29,558 --> 00:06:30,991
Oh, who remembers.
150
00:06:30,993 --> 00:06:32,126
Well, try!
151
00:06:32,128 --> 00:06:33,061
I can't!
152
00:06:33,063 --> 00:06:34,362
Remember!
153
00:06:34,364 --> 00:06:36,932
There's a reason they call
it "black-out drunk!"
154
00:06:36,934 --> 00:06:40,336
If I don't remember that password
I can't unembezzle that money,
155
00:06:40,338 --> 00:06:44,540
and then I'm screwed because I don't
have - Ten million dollars?
156
00:06:44,542 --> 00:06:48,377
That's outrageous, I won't pay
it, I don't even want the gay back.
157
00:06:48,379 --> 00:06:50,580
So you better just
sharpen your pencil.
158
00:06:50,582 --> 00:06:52,948
- I don't have penc...
- It's an idiom!
159
00:06:52,950 --> 00:06:56,552
Aw, but I love it when Malory bails
you out of one of your idiot jams.
160
00:06:56,554 --> 00:06:57,253
Oh really.
161
00:06:57,255 --> 00:06:59,855
Yeah, 'cause then I get to
watch her rub it in your face.
162
00:06:59,857 --> 00:07:02,992
- Oh my God, okay first of all --
- First of all!
163
00:07:02,994 --> 00:07:03,593
- Wh-?!
164
00:07:03,595 --> 00:07:04,394
Riley no!
165
00:07:04,396 --> 00:07:04,827
Don't say it!
166
00:07:04,829 --> 00:07:06,062
He's been here voluntarily!
167
00:07:06,064 --> 00:07:09,599
Partying his ass off,
as king of the pirates!
168
00:07:09,601 --> 00:07:11,167
What?
169
00:07:11,169 --> 00:07:13,670
Don't listen to him,
I bet that brain aneurysm
170
00:07:13,672 --> 00:07:15,638
scrambled les Broca's area.
171
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:22,111
Language center of the brain?
172
00:07:22,113 --> 00:07:23,813
Noah.
173
00:07:23,815 --> 00:07:24,780
Thank you.
174
00:07:24,782 --> 00:07:26,081
No problem.
175
00:07:26,083 --> 00:07:28,483
Actually not making
much progress.
176
00:07:28,485 --> 00:07:31,019
You're kidding.
177
00:07:31,021 --> 00:07:32,854
No.
178
00:07:36,038 --> 00:07:38,406
Three million,
and not a penny more.
179
00:07:38,408 --> 00:07:42,643
And before you see one thin dime,
I want to talk to Sterling!
180
00:07:42,645 --> 00:07:43,177
Cyril!
181
00:07:43,179 --> 00:07:43,844
Waagh!
182
00:07:43,846 --> 00:07:46,647
- Hey, Ms. Archer...
- Three million in cash?
183
00:07:46,649 --> 00:07:49,016
That, uh, should
not be a problem.
184
00:07:49,018 --> 00:07:50,651
I know it shouldn't be.
185
00:07:50,653 --> 00:07:52,519
And it better not be.
186
00:07:52,521 --> 00:07:56,023
Why would it be, it's not, I just
need to move a little money around.
187
00:07:56,025 --> 00:07:56,957
So move it.
188
00:07:56,959 --> 00:07:58,726
Today please!
189
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:01,228
Keep looking,
maybe I wrote it down!
190
00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:03,697
Archersucks, no.
191
00:08:03,699 --> 00:08:06,300
Killarcherdie, no.
192
00:08:06,302 --> 00:08:09,103
- Uh - Just trying
all my usual passwords.
193
00:08:09,105 --> 00:08:11,473
Hey, way to not
give him the power.
194
00:08:11,475 --> 00:08:12,841
Thank you.
195
00:08:12,843 --> 00:08:13,842
Do you hear me?
196
00:08:13,844 --> 00:08:17,580
I want proof of life!
197
00:08:17,582 --> 00:08:18,614
Duh.
198
00:08:18,616 --> 00:08:21,751
- You lying pathetic little piece of --
- Hooof!
199
00:08:21,753 --> 00:08:23,819
Lana no!
C'mon, you're gonna kill him!
200
00:08:23,821 --> 00:08:25,555
Yeah, that's the plan!
201
00:08:25,557 --> 00:08:26,122
Hey!
202
00:08:26,124 --> 00:08:26,722
Knock it off!
203
00:08:26,724 --> 00:08:30,392
Look, Lana, don't get me wrong, I
like your spunk -- - Phrasing.
204
00:08:30,394 --> 00:08:33,929
Shut up, but I promised his
mother I'd bring him home safely,
205
00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:36,365
and I just assume that
includes his spleen.
206
00:08:36,367 --> 00:08:39,369
- Think that ship might've sailed...
- No, not a ship --
207
00:08:39,371 --> 00:08:40,403
- That was an idiom.
208
00:08:40,405 --> 00:08:41,170
A helicopter.
209
00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:44,774
There's an old Huey down by the dock,
and it just so happens Rip Riley
210
00:08:44,776 --> 00:08:46,042
here can fly it.
211
00:08:46,044 --> 00:08:47,076
No shit.
212
00:08:47,078 --> 00:08:49,645
Yeah Rip Riley
here can fly anything.
213
00:08:49,647 --> 00:08:51,681
You know, as long
as it's got fuel.
214
00:08:51,683 --> 00:08:55,685
Well, Rip, why don't we just look
around for some fuel in this cell...
215
00:08:55,687 --> 00:08:57,721
- Doubt they'd keep it in here.
- In which!
216
00:08:57,723 --> 00:08:59,523
We're still locked!
217
00:08:59,525 --> 00:09:01,825
I figured we'd
kinda work backwards.
218
00:09:01,827 --> 00:09:05,596
From the stealing
of the helicopter.
219
00:09:05,598 --> 00:09:07,298
Archerstabface, no.
220
00:09:07,300 --> 00:09:09,767
Archerbortion --
- No!
221
00:09:09,769 --> 00:09:12,536
What're you, gonna type random words
in there the rest of your life?
222
00:09:12,538 --> 00:09:13,937
All five minutes of it!
223
00:09:13,939 --> 00:09:15,806
At which point Ms.
Archer will probably walk in here and
224
00:09:15,808 --> 00:09:18,542
dissolve me in a drum of acid,
unless you have a better idea.
225
00:09:18,544 --> 00:09:22,079
- State-dependent memory!
226
00:09:22,081 --> 00:09:25,348
- So, your plan is for us to
get as black-out, knee-walking,
227
00:09:25,350 --> 00:09:29,519
shitfaced drunk as we were last night,
in the hopes that we remember
228
00:09:29,521 --> 00:09:31,454
the password.
229
00:09:31,456 --> 00:09:37,727
Well don't hog it all!
Pam!
230
00:09:37,729 --> 00:09:40,863
Ugh, seriously, I bet that
would've killed a lesser man.
231
00:09:40,865 --> 00:09:43,432
There's a lesser man than you?
232
00:09:43,434 --> 00:09:44,934
Uh yeah, his name's Houdini?
233
00:09:44,936 --> 00:09:47,370
- Whom I wish you were --
- Yeah, cause then I
234
00:09:47,372 --> 00:09:49,872
- could just puke up a key...
- Because you'd be dead.
235
00:09:49,874 --> 00:09:51,173
Houdini's dead?
236
00:09:51,175 --> 00:09:52,141
You know what?
237
00:09:52,143 --> 00:09:52,774
Yes.
238
00:09:52,776 --> 00:09:55,944
Here's what we do, we lure Bucky
down here, and take him hostage.
239
00:09:55,946 --> 00:09:56,611
And then?
240
00:09:56,613 --> 00:09:57,546
Then we'll see.
241
00:09:57,548 --> 00:09:58,313
We'll keep it loose.
242
00:09:58,315 --> 00:10:02,149
Oh for, and just how the hell are
we supposed to lure him down here?!
243
00:10:02,151 --> 00:10:03,350
Sterling Archer?
244
00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:04,251
What's that?
245
00:10:04,253 --> 00:10:07,054
Sorry, I couldn't hear you over
the sound of my plan working.
246
00:10:07,056 --> 00:10:08,121
Telephone!
247
00:10:08,123 --> 00:10:08,922
It's you mudda!
248
00:10:08,924 --> 00:10:12,926
- My -- Wait, please tell me you didn't
tell her I was temporarily the pirapi-king.
249
00:10:12,928 --> 00:10:16,396
No not yet, but this
is damn good I... Nnngh!
250
00:10:16,398 --> 00:10:16,930
Sterling?!
251
00:10:16,932 --> 00:10:17,865
Sterling are you alright?!
252
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:20,133
No Mother, I'm
a captive of pirates!
253
00:10:20,135 --> 00:10:25,171
Oh, and Riley said he no longer finds
you attractive 'cause you're too old!
254
00:10:25,173 --> 00:10:26,239
He what?!
255
00:10:26,241 --> 00:10:26,873
What?!
256
00:10:26,875 --> 00:10:28,308
You little...
Sunamabeetch!
257
00:10:28,310 --> 00:10:29,275
Grrk!
258
00:10:29,277 --> 00:10:30,910
Was that a gunshot?!
259
00:10:30,912 --> 00:10:33,879
- Yep, they got ol' Ray this time...
- Raayyy!
260
00:10:33,881 --> 00:10:35,647
And now I keel you!
261
00:10:35,649 --> 00:10:36,748
Rrrgh!
262
00:10:36,750 --> 00:10:38,583
Right in my same ear!
263
00:10:38,585 --> 00:10:39,250
Ha!
264
00:10:39,252 --> 00:10:40,919
Good, serves you right!
265
00:10:40,921 --> 00:10:43,621
- Malory, I never said...
- You're no spring
266
00:10:43,623 --> 00:10:45,456
chicken yourself, you know!
267
00:10:45,458 --> 00:10:48,092
Rrrnh!
268
00:10:48,094 --> 00:10:48,993
Lanaahh!
269
00:10:48,995 --> 00:10:50,094
Is Lana hit?!
270
00:10:50,096 --> 00:10:51,061
Someone talk to me!
271
00:10:51,063 --> 00:10:54,366
Mother, I'm a
little busy right now.
272
00:10:54,368 --> 00:10:54,699
Noah!
273
00:10:54,701 --> 00:10:55,133
What?!
274
00:10:55,135 --> 00:10:55,667
Spoon him!
275
00:10:55,669 --> 00:11:00,572
You mean spoon
him as in like oh!
276
00:11:00,574 --> 00:11:05,378
Today please!
277
00:11:05,380 --> 00:11:09,716
I am incredibly sorry.
278
00:11:09,718 --> 00:11:13,085
Grrk!
279
00:11:13,087 --> 00:11:13,719
Rip?!
280
00:11:13,721 --> 00:11:17,156
Rip I take it all back, you're as
strong and sexy as the night we -
281
00:11:17,158 --> 00:11:18,491
- For shit's sake, Mother!
282
00:11:18,493 --> 00:11:21,027
How short is the list of guys
you haven't screwed?!
283
00:11:21,029 --> 00:11:23,695
Oh, how dare you?
284
00:11:23,697 --> 00:11:25,997
You can forget
about that ransom!
285
00:11:25,999 --> 00:11:27,599
For once you're on your own!
286
00:11:27,601 --> 00:11:32,637
- For once? Oh my God, Columbia Hou --
All I wanted!
287
00:11:32,639 --> 00:11:33,939
Was to mourn!
288
00:11:33,941 --> 00:11:38,578
The murder of my crazy-hot Russian
fiancée by becoming a pirate king!
289
00:11:38,580 --> 00:11:41,514
But I guess that was
too much to ask!
290
00:11:41,516 --> 00:11:46,954
So Mother can keep her stupid
ransom, because I don't need her!
291
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:54,428
What I do need, is some
frickin crab shampoo!
292
00:11:54,430 --> 00:11:54,995
Noah!
293
00:11:54,997 --> 00:11:55,329
Wounded!
294
00:11:55,331 --> 00:11:59,399
- No, I'm -- well, maybe some psychic
scarring, but physically I'm --
295
00:11:59,401 --> 00:11:59,966
- Tend!
296
00:11:59,968 --> 00:12:00,901
To the wounded!
297
00:12:00,903 --> 00:12:01,935
Oh, right.
298
00:12:01,937 --> 00:12:03,403
Not him!
299
00:12:03,405 --> 00:12:04,537
Start with Lana!
300
00:12:04,539 --> 00:12:05,171
I'm fine!
301
00:12:05,173 --> 00:12:06,005
Check on Ray!
302
00:12:06,007 --> 00:12:07,240
Yeah, he is not looking good.
303
00:12:07,242 --> 00:12:12,244
Although, neither is Riley
and neither is your situation!
304
00:12:12,246 --> 00:12:14,146
Because you can forget ransom!
305
00:12:14,148 --> 00:12:17,216
Now you and your
friends will die here!
306
00:12:17,218 --> 00:12:18,918
Yeah, speaking of
forgetting, couple things.
307
00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:20,487
One, these aren't my friends.
308
00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:24,525
- Got that right - I
mean her, yes, kinda, maybe,
309
00:12:24,527 --> 00:12:26,993
- but there's a lotta weird sexual tension...
- Ha!
310
00:12:26,995 --> 00:12:30,331
But these other three, whatever,
who cares, I mean Noah's a slave.
311
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:33,501
- Yeah, about that--
- Noah not now!
312
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:36,370
And two - Aha, but
I shoot gun many times!
313
00:12:36,372 --> 00:12:40,007
And in all the excitement
I lose track myself!
314
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:44,478
So now you thinking, did he fire
eight shots or only - Four.
315
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:46,981
Idiot. So get your
things, we're leaving.
316
00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:50,619
Hey, can I run up to my hovel
and grab the only extant copy of my
317
00:12:50,621 --> 00:12:51,520
dissertation?
318
00:12:51,522 --> 00:12:51,954
Noah?
319
00:12:51,956 --> 00:12:52,855
Still got four bullets.
320
00:12:52,857 --> 00:12:54,990
Do you know what
"extant" means?
321
00:12:54,992 --> 00:12:57,126
You know what
"license to kill" means?
322
00:12:57,128 --> 00:12:59,273
I'll just um write another one.
323
00:12:59,393 --> 00:13:02,632
The world holds its breath.
324
00:13:06,070 --> 00:13:06,436
Ray?!
325
00:13:06,556 --> 00:13:08,606
Ray, c'mon honey, stay with me!
326
00:13:08,807 --> 00:13:12,009
Ray. Ray! Ray!!
327
00:13:12,011 --> 00:13:14,612
- Not sure that's helping!
- Yeah neither are you!
328
00:13:14,614 --> 00:13:16,747
Lana, I only have two hands.
329
00:13:16,749 --> 00:13:18,650
What I don't have, is all day!
330
00:13:18,652 --> 00:13:19,818
There, I finished!
331
00:13:19,820 --> 00:13:20,485
Jeez damn!
332
00:13:20,487 --> 00:13:21,687
How ya doin, Riley?
333
00:13:21,689 --> 00:13:24,423
How the hell do
you think I'm doing?!
334
00:13:24,425 --> 00:13:26,425
Hey relax, Nick Furious!
335
00:13:26,427 --> 00:13:28,861
Save your strength for
flying the chopper.
336
00:13:28,863 --> 00:13:31,998
And again, I am
just incredibly sorry.
337
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,199
What's your blood type?
338
00:13:33,201 --> 00:13:34,567
How would I know?
339
00:13:34,569 --> 00:13:35,068
- Wh-?
340
00:13:35,070 --> 00:13:35,969
How would you not?!
341
00:13:35,971 --> 00:13:37,837
Who am I, Karl Landsteiner?
342
00:13:37,839 --> 00:13:39,705
Discoverer of blood groups?
343
00:13:39,707 --> 00:13:43,509
You don't know your own blood
type, but you know who discovered them.
344
00:13:43,511 --> 00:13:47,380
Yeah, now Your
exact words, Pam!
345
00:13:47,382 --> 00:13:51,083
"Dr. Charles Drew, or I
will eat a bag of dicks!"
346
00:13:51,085 --> 00:13:53,219
Bring 'em.
347
00:13:53,221 --> 00:13:57,123
And not to diminish the
accomplishments of Dr. Charles Drew, but...
348
00:13:57,125 --> 00:13:58,157
God damn it Archer!
349
00:13:58,159 --> 00:14:00,659
Ray needs O positive blood,
or he is gonna die!
350
00:14:00,661 --> 00:14:02,061
So give him some of yours!
351
00:14:02,063 --> 00:14:03,796
- I'm A-negative!
352
00:14:03,798 --> 00:14:04,630
Hey, me too!
353
00:14:04,632 --> 00:14:09,100
- And even if Riley's O-positive...
- No, I'm A-negative too.
354
00:14:09,102 --> 00:14:11,468
He's already a quart low.
355
00:14:11,470 --> 00:14:13,870
- Sooo...
- Oh.
356
00:14:13,872 --> 00:14:15,271
Positive?
357
00:14:15,273 --> 00:14:16,406
Yeah.
358
00:14:16,408 --> 00:14:20,609
One of these days, I swear to
God, I am going to burn this place
359
00:14:20,611 --> 00:14:22,212
straight down to the ground.
360
00:14:22,214 --> 00:14:25,315
Oh my God yes,
hey, what about this Sunday?!
361
00:14:25,317 --> 00:14:28,585
Unless you want people in here,
in which case weeohh my God!
362
00:14:28,587 --> 00:14:31,655
Waagh!
363
00:14:31,657 --> 00:14:33,891
Five oh, five oh!
364
00:14:33,893 --> 00:14:34,525
Cyril!
365
00:14:34,527 --> 00:14:36,527
Never mind moving that money.
366
00:14:36,529 --> 00:14:37,795
What money, oh!
367
00:14:37,797 --> 00:14:39,130
Really? You sure?
368
00:14:39,132 --> 00:14:42,266
- Because all I need to do is just...
- Re-evaluate your entire
369
00:14:42,268 --> 00:14:44,435
life, and yes, I'm sure.
370
00:14:44,437 --> 00:14:48,539
Sterling can get himself
out of this jam. For once.
371
00:14:48,541 --> 00:14:52,776
Oh and don't
be here on Sunday. Pam.
372
00:14:52,778 --> 00:14:56,047
Why just me, what's
happenin' Sunday?
373
00:14:56,049 --> 00:14:59,249
Probably my grisly murder, since
we still haven't found that password!
374
00:14:59,251 --> 00:15:01,385
Ya try "guest"?
375
00:15:01,387 --> 00:15:06,056
- No Pam, I didn't, because I'm not an --
- Oh, eat a dick.
376
00:15:06,058 --> 00:15:08,859
Bring it.
377
00:15:08,861 --> 00:15:10,427
How much of my
blood does he need?!
378
00:15:10,429 --> 00:15:11,895
I dunno, ten gills.
379
00:15:11,897 --> 00:15:12,463
- Wh-?!
380
00:15:12,465 --> 00:15:13,297
U.S. or imperial?!
381
00:15:13,299 --> 00:15:16,066
- Just keep sqinueezing
that gag-ball.
382
00:15:16,068 --> 00:15:17,567
That I don't wanna
know why you have.
383
00:15:17,569 --> 00:15:18,135
No, you do not.
384
00:15:18,137 --> 00:15:20,504
You will never
make it to helicopter!
385
00:15:20,506 --> 00:15:22,439
My men will cut you
down like dogs!
386
00:15:22,441 --> 00:15:24,308
Thanks, human shield.
387
00:15:24,310 --> 00:15:26,010
Although Where the
hell are all your men?
388
00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:27,045
Wh-? Are you serious?
389
00:15:27,047 --> 00:15:29,180
They're all at the
intramural lacrosse finals.
390
00:15:29,182 --> 00:15:30,082
The what?!
391
00:15:30,084 --> 00:15:30,616
Oww!
392
00:15:30,618 --> 00:15:32,017
Lana shut up. That's today?!
393
00:15:32,019 --> 00:15:33,051
It's right now.
394
00:15:33,053 --> 00:15:34,152
Well, in ten minutes.
395
00:15:34,154 --> 00:15:35,387
- Who's playing?!
- Archer.
396
00:15:35,389 --> 00:15:39,224
- Uh, the Lax-mi Singhers...
- They made the finals?!
397
00:15:39,226 --> 00:15:41,760
Versus the
Archers of Loafcrosse.
398
00:15:41,762 --> 00:15:42,428
- Wh-?!
399
00:15:42,430 --> 00:15:43,462
That's my team!
400
00:15:43,464 --> 00:15:43,896
Archer.
401
00:15:43,898 --> 00:15:45,230
Lana, I'm team captain!
402
00:15:45,232 --> 00:15:47,899
I built that team from nothing, and now --
- Archer!
403
00:15:47,901 --> 00:15:48,866
Ray is dying.
404
00:15:48,868 --> 00:15:51,135
Does that mean
so must my dream?!
405
00:15:51,137 --> 00:15:54,638
Look, I think it's great that
for once you're getting out of a jam
406
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:57,474
without your mother's help, but --
- Not for once!
407
00:15:57,476 --> 00:15:59,376
Hello? Columbia House?
408
00:15:59,378 --> 00:16:02,679
But remember earlier, when you
said that you and I were friends?
409
00:16:02,681 --> 00:16:03,747
I, of course.
410
00:16:03,749 --> 00:16:07,584
I mean I know we fight a lot, but
God, now that I think about it,
411
00:16:07,586 --> 00:16:09,420
you're my only friend.
412
00:16:09,422 --> 00:16:11,222
Wow.
413
00:16:11,224 --> 00:16:12,490
Right?
414
00:16:12,492 --> 00:16:15,860
- Yes, Archer, because if you do this...
- Please don't make me choose.
415
00:16:15,862 --> 00:16:27,871
I will never, ever forgive you, and
we will never, ever be friends again.
416
00:16:27,873 --> 00:16:29,473
Woooo!
417
00:16:29,475 --> 00:16:31,774
Birds-eye view of lacrosse!
418
00:16:31,776 --> 00:16:34,477
Lana, Lana, we
got the face-off!
419
00:16:34,479 --> 00:16:37,647
- Hooray!
- Now can we please get out of here?!
420
00:16:37,649 --> 00:16:40,282
Because we are
totally vulnerable!
421
00:16:40,284 --> 00:16:42,318
I know, look at our defenders!
422
00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:44,954
He's not talking
about the defenders.
423
00:16:44,956 --> 00:16:46,489
The crease, idiots!
424
00:16:46,491 --> 00:16:47,724
Guard the crease!
425
00:16:47,726 --> 00:16:49,492
And what are my middies doing?
426
00:16:49,494 --> 00:16:50,227
Middies!
427
00:16:50,229 --> 00:16:52,095
C'mon, get in position!
428
00:16:52,097 --> 00:16:53,597
Oh shit, they are!
429
00:16:53,599 --> 00:16:58,670
- No look, they're
all bunched -- oh.
430
00:16:58,672 --> 00:17:00,039
Iiiiincomiiiiiing!
431
00:17:00,041 --> 00:17:01,540
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
432
00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:03,775
- Hooray!
- Wait wait wait, Lana --
433
00:17:03,777 --> 00:17:05,444
Get some! Get some!
434
00:17:05,446 --> 00:17:09,014
You sons of bitches!
435
00:17:09,016 --> 00:17:09,815
Suck it!
436
00:17:09,817 --> 00:17:11,683
Nooooooo!
437
00:17:11,685 --> 00:17:12,584
Hang on!
438
00:17:12,586 --> 00:17:15,220
Lanaaaaa!
439
00:17:15,222 --> 00:17:16,355
Archerrrrr!
440
00:17:16,357 --> 00:17:17,589
What, Lana!
441
00:17:17,591 --> 00:17:20,425
I Nothing, I got you.
442
00:17:20,427 --> 00:17:21,526
You got me!
443
00:17:21,528 --> 00:17:22,761
Well that's just super!
444
00:17:22,763 --> 00:17:24,563
What the hell is your problem?!
445
00:17:24,565 --> 00:17:25,697
My problem!
446
00:17:25,699 --> 00:17:28,800
Is you just Bonnie and
Clyded my starting middies!
447
00:17:28,802 --> 00:17:29,601
- Wh-?
448
00:17:29,603 --> 00:17:32,103
- They were Red-shirt freshmen, Lana!
Who I was grooming!
449
00:17:32,105 --> 00:17:35,073
But now I guess the Archers of
Loafcrosse can forget about the
450
00:17:35,075 --> 00:17:37,476
South Pacific lacrosse
championships!
451
00:17:37,478 --> 00:17:38,644
Yeah that's not a thing.
452
00:17:38,646 --> 00:17:40,512
If and when
that becomes a thing!
453
00:17:40,514 --> 00:17:41,513
Here's a thing.
454
00:17:41,515 --> 00:17:45,650
Your mother doesn't know you ran
away to be a pirate, so... - No!
455
00:17:45,652 --> 00:17:47,752
- Lana, seriously, she...
- Would literally kill you.
456
00:17:47,754 --> 00:17:50,387
Well, figurative
yeah, literally.
457
00:17:50,389 --> 00:17:54,291
So now, for the rest of your
idiot life, I'm got that on you.
458
00:17:54,293 --> 00:17:55,559
Wow.
459
00:17:55,561 --> 00:17:56,326
Right?
460
00:17:56,328 --> 00:17:58,394
Oh my God!
461
00:17:58,396 --> 00:18:00,330
Just screw already!
462
00:18:00,332 --> 00:18:01,598
Seriously.
463
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:02,866
Then kill each other.
464
00:18:02,868 --> 00:18:03,867
Then shut up.
465
00:18:03,869 --> 00:18:06,003
And then kill each other again.
466
00:18:06,005 --> 00:18:09,040
And call me, so I can
watch you do it.
467
00:18:09,042 --> 00:18:11,509
Sterling, I don't know
how you did it, but, well,
468
00:18:11,511 --> 00:18:14,613
except for Rip's eye you got
everyone home in one piece.
469
00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:15,247
No thanks to you.
470
00:18:15,249 --> 00:18:17,483
Well, it's about time
to did something on your own.
471
00:18:17,485 --> 00:18:19,752
Oh for Columbia House!
472
00:18:19,754 --> 00:18:20,920
Record Club!
473
00:18:20,922 --> 00:18:21,587
Archer!
474
00:18:21,589 --> 00:18:23,489
The important thing
is we're home.
475
00:18:23,491 --> 00:18:27,293
And that we spare Malory the details
of your time on pirate island.
476
00:18:27,295 --> 00:18:29,162
Why, what happened?
477
00:18:29,164 --> 00:18:30,229
Nothing!
478
00:18:30,231 --> 00:18:33,666
Well, you know, besides a lot
of um, pretty horrific torture.
479
00:18:33,668 --> 00:18:37,237
Which mother, if you had seen
would have broken your heart.
480
00:18:37,239 --> 00:18:38,505
But why dwell on that?
481
00:18:38,507 --> 00:18:39,205
We're home!
482
00:18:39,207 --> 00:18:42,910
- And my mourning period, for um...
- Katya.
483
00:18:42,912 --> 00:18:44,545
Is over, so hey!
484
00:18:44,547 --> 00:18:45,913
It's a happy ending!
485
00:18:45,915 --> 00:18:50,017
Yeah, it's just a
big ol' goddamn fairy tale.
486
00:18:50,019 --> 00:18:51,118
Fairy tale.
487
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:52,586
Uh, phrasing?
488
00:18:52,588 --> 00:18:55,255
Ray, I'm kidding!
489
00:18:55,257 --> 00:18:58,626
Don't be like that!
490
00:18:58,628 --> 00:19:01,461
Oh, gross
keep it moving, cripple!
491
00:19:01,463 --> 00:19:02,262
Shut up.
492
00:19:02,264 --> 00:19:03,429
Ray?
493
00:19:03,431 --> 00:19:05,264
Ray.
494
00:19:05,266 --> 00:19:07,166
Ray!
495
00:19:07,168 --> 00:19:07,967
Oh, okay!
496
00:19:07,969 --> 00:19:10,035
Then I guess just pout!
497
00:19:10,391 --> 00:19:20,818
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com