1 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:09,954 They just walked out of there. 2 00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:11,633 Yeah, I know, I was sort of sitting next to you. 3 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,917 The whole Waters family, they just walked right out of there. 4 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,630 - Again, I was in the room. - How do they always manage that? 5 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:20,199 They're good. 6 00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:21,679 They're greedy and they'll do it again. 7 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,910 And next time, we're going to catch them in the act. 8 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,035 How? 9 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:36,871 - No good'! - They always know we're coming. 10 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:38,678 -(SIREN WAILING) - How do they always know? 11 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:41,149 They're good, they work at it. 12 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:43,072 - They're never going to stop. - Well, neither are we. 13 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:55,314 (GRUNTS) 14 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,032 (LESTRADE GRUNTING) 15 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:12,756 - Greg. - In the act! 16 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:17,633 The only way we're going to do this, in the act! 17 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:31,479 (BEEPING) 18 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:48,239 You still blocking it? 19 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:50,557 Yeah, very efficiently hacked. 20 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:53,549 They must be bloody pleased with themselves. 21 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:55,119 They must be. 22 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:02,915 Right, then. 23 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,115 Ah, no. 24 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:06,840 You go make the arrest. This one's yours, boss. 25 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,035 You've never called me boss before. 26 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:10,839 No'! Well, look what happens when you're good. 27 00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:13,275 You know how most days aren't good days? 28 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:16,515 - This is a good day. - Not for the Waters family. 29 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:17,635 (MOBILE CHIMING) 30 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,233 Okay, 10 men on the roof. All exits covered. 31 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:21,118 The bank's closed so we've no hostages to worry about. 32 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:22,679 (CHIMING CONTINUES) 33 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:24,430 Sorry, no, go on, go on. 34 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,477 Um, we've got the tunnel entrance covered 35 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:28,358 and Davis, Welland Christie are heading up. 36 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,954 - Armed Response aren't mucking around. -(CHIMING CONTINUES) 37 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:32,439 Sorry, I'd better get this. 38 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:33,669 It's him, isn't it? 39 00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:41,871 - I... I have to go. - What? 40 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:43,474 - You make the arrest. - No way. 41 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:45,471 Sorry, you'll be fine. I'm cool with this. 42 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:47,756 Jones will get all the credit if you leave now and you know he will. 43 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:53,118 Yeah, well... Yeah, it doesn't matter, I'll have to go. 44 00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:59,197 Backup, I need maximum backup. 45 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,634 Baker Street, now. 46 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,679 What's going on? 47 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:16,398 - This is hard. - What? 48 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:18,790 Really hard. Hardest thing I've ever had to do. 49 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:23,557 Do you know any funny stories aboutjohn? 50 00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:25,711 (SIREN WAILING, TYRES SCREECHING) 51 00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:26,910 What? 52 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:29,719 I need anecdotes. 53 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:30,995 Didn't go to any trouble, did you? 54 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:33,512 (HELICOPTER HOVERING) 55 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:15,959 (VIOLIN PLAYING) 56 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:02,196 - Shut up, Mrs Hudson. - I haven't said a word. 57 00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:03,953 (SIGHING) You're formulating a question 58 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:06,395 and it's physically painful watching you think. 59 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,198 I thought it was you playing. 60 00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:09,998 It was me playing. 61 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,154 I am composing. 62 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:13,913 You were dancing. 63 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:16,910 - I was road-testing. - You what? 64 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:18,879 Why are you here? 65 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:21,190 I'm bringing you your morning tea. 66 00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:22,600 You're not usually awake. 67 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:23,950 You bring me tea in the morning? 68 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:25,873 (CHUCKLING) Where do you think it ca me from? 69 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:28,349 I don't know, I just thought it sort of happened. 70 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:30,033 Your mother has a lot to answer for. 71 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:32,589 Mmm, I know. I have a list. 72 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:34,793 Myers“ has a Ne. 73 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:37,357 So, it's the big day, then. 74 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:40,394 What big day? 75 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:41,914 The wedding. 76 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,593 John and Mary are getting married. 77 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:46,314 Two people who currently who live together are about to attend church, 78 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:47,993 have a party, go on a short holiday, 79 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:49,878 then carry on living together. What's big about that'! 80 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,394 It changes people, marriage. 81 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:52,993 Mmm, no, it doesn't. 82 00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:56,431 Well, you wouldn't understand 'cause you always live alone. 83 00:05:57,760 --> 00:05:59,319 Your husband was executed for double murder, 84 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,152 you're hardly an advert for companionship. 85 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:05,635 Marriage changes you as a person in ways that you can't imagine. 86 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:07,074 As does lethal injection. 87 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:10,596 My best friend, Margaret, she was my chief bridesmaid, 88 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:12,478 we were going to be best friends forever, 89 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:14,039 we always said that. 90 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:15,713 But I hardly saw her after that. 91 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:16,995 Aren't there usually biscuits? 92 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:18,400 - I've run out. - Have the shops? 93 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:21,950 She cried the whole day, saying, "Ooh, it's the end of an era." 94 00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:23,714 I'm sure the shop on the corner is open. 95 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,711 She was probably right, really. 96 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,677 I remember she left early. 97 00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:29,797 I mean, who leaves a wedding early? 98 00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:31,509 So sad. 99 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,511 Mmm. Anyway, you've got things to do. 100 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:36,031 No, not really. I've got plenty of time... 101 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:37,394 - Biscuits! -(GASPS) 102 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:40,199 I really am going to have a word with your mother. 103 00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:42,430 You can if you like, she understands very little. 104 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:45,314 (SIGHING) 105 00:06:58,840 --> 00:06:59,955 Right, then. 106 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:05,390 (INHALING) 107 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:07,720 Into battle. 108 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:13,190 (CHURCH BELLS RINGING) 109 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:15,873 PHOTOGRAPHER: Congratulations! 110 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,031 Okay, hold it there, I want to get this shot 111 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:19,554 of the newlyweds. 112 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:22,629 Ah,just the bride and groom, please. 113 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,234 - Sherlock. - Oh, sorry. 114 00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:26,674 (CLEARING THROAT) 115 00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:29,036 PHOTOGRAPHER: Okay. Three, two, one. 116 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:30,315 - Cheese. -(CAMERA SHUTTER CIJCKING) 117 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:40,831 The famous Mr Holmes. 118 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:42,877 I'm very pleased to meet you. 119 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:45,197 - But no sex, okay? - Sorry? 120 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:47,239 You don't have to look so scared. 121 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:48,549 I'm only messing. 122 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:51,473 Bridesmaid, best man, it's a bit traditional. 123 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:53,515 Is it'! 124 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:54,829 But not obligatory. 125 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:56,110 If that's the sort of thing you're looking for, 126 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,713 the man over there in blue is your best bet. 127 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:00,474 Recently divorced doctor with a ginger cat, 128 00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:04,269 a barn conversion and a history of erectile dysfunction. 129 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:06,431 Reviewing that information, possibly not your best bet. 130 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:07,750 Yeah, maybe not. 131 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,990 Sorry, there was one more deduction there than I was expecting. 132 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:13,994 Mr Holmes, you're going to be incredibly useful. 133 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:15,673 (CAMERA CLICKING) 134 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:24,029 Hello, lovely to meet you. 135 00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:25,595 - How are you? - Beautiful, Mary. 136 00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:26,670 Thank you. 137 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:29,589 David. 138 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:31,996 (LAUGHING) Mary. Congratulations. 139 00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:34,515 - You look, um, very nice. - Thanks. 140 00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:36,432 John, congratulations. You're a lucky man. 141 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:37,555 Thank you. 142 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:39,074 Urn, David, this is Sherlock. 143 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:42,471 - Mmm. - Um, yeah, we've, um... 144 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:44,474 We've met. 145 00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:51,235 So what exactly are my duties as an usher? 146 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,718 Let's talk about Mary first. 147 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:57,238 - Sorry, what? - Oh, I think you know what. 148 00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:59,675 You went out with her for two years. 149 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:02,274 (NERVOUSLY) Ages ago. We're just good friends now. 150 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:03,759 Is that a fact'! 151 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:06,150 Whenever she tweets, you respond within five minutes, 152 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:07,560 regardless of time or current location, 153 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,199 suggesting you have her on text alert. 154 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:10,759 In all your Facebook photographs of the happy couple, 155 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:11,830 Mary takes centre frame, 156 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,070 whereasjohn is always partly or entirely excluded. 157 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:16,037 Wait, you can't assume from that 158 00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:18,634 that I've still got some kind of interest in Mary? 159 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:20,040 You've volunteered to be a shoulderto cry on 160 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,474 on no less than three separate occasions. 161 00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:23,153 Do you have anything to say in your defence? 162 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:27,310 I think from now on we'll downgrade you to casual acquaintance, 163 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:30,233 no more than three planned social encounters a year 164 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:31,469 and always in John's presence. 165 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:34,640 I have your contact details. I will be monitoring. 166 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:40,269 They're right about you. You're a bloody psychopath. 167 00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:42,471 High-functioning sociopath. 168 00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:44,198 With your number. 169 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:55,474 (STAMMERING) 170 00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,435 Hello. 171 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:04,237 Thanks for coming, thank you. 172 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:05,310 Oh. 173 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:08,878 Yes, um, well done in the service, Archie. 174 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,156 He's really come out of his shell. I don't know how you did it. 175 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:12,753 (CHUCKLING) Um... 176 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:19,678 Basically, it's a cute smile to the bride's side, 177 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:21,319 cute smile to the groom's side and then the rings. 178 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,232 - No. - And you have to wear the outfit. 179 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,118 - No. - You really do have to wear the outfit. 180 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:26,759 - What for? - Grownups like that sort of thing. 181 00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:27,995 Why? 182 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:29,675 I don't know. I'll ask one. 183 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:32,991 You're a detective? 184 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:34,310 Yep. 185 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:36,232 - Have you solved any murders? - Sure, loads. 186 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:37,875 Can I see? 187 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,159 Yeah, all right. 188 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:44,200 (BEEPING) 189 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,599 What's all that stuff in his eye? 190 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:50,670 Maggots. 191 00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:53,115 - Cool. - Hmm. 192 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:56,314 He said you had some pictures for him as a treat. 193 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:58,596 Er, yes, if he's good. 194 00:11:58,680 --> 00:11:59,715 Beheadings. 195 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:00,790 Lovely little village. 196 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:02,872 Hmm? What did you say? 197 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:09,269 Hold it. 198 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:12,750 Nice. 199 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:19,437 - Vol-au-vent? - I'm starving. 200 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:20,715 - Thanks. - I had to lose so much weight 201 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:22,871 -to get into this dress. -(LAUGHING) 202 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,591 Mmm. He's nice. 203 00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:28,318 Traces of two leading brands of deodorant, 204 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:29,515 both advertised for their strength. 205 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:30,999 Suggestive of a chronic body odour problem 206 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:32,150 manifesting under stress. 207 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:34,629 Okay, done there. What about his friend? 208 00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:40,157 Long-term relationship. Compulsive cheat. 209 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:42,151 - Seriously? Waterproof cover on the smartphone. 210 00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:45,517 Yet his complexion doesn't indicate outdoor work. 211 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,835 Suggests he's in the habit of taking his phone into the shower with him, 212 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:52,434 which means he often receives texts and emails he'd rather went unseen. 213 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:54,193 - Can I keep you? - Do you like solving crimes? 214 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:55,315 Do you have a vacancy? 215 00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,597 - So, Harry? - Uh, no, no show. 216 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:00,990 Darling, I'm so sorry. 217 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,799 Yeah, it was a bit of a punt asking, I suppose. 218 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,520 Still, free bar, wouldn't have been a good mix. 219 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:10,633 Oh. God, wow. 220 00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:12,914 - Is that... - He came. 221 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,109 So that's him. 222 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:21,350 - Major Sholto. - Uh-huh. 223 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:27,795 If they're such good friends, why does he barely even mention him? 224 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:29,996 He mentions him all the time to me. Never shuts up about him. 225 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:32,310 - About him? - Mmm-hmm. 226 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:35,920 Ugh, I chose this wine. It's bloody awful. 227 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,513 Yes, but it's definitely him that he talks about? 228 00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:38,874 Mmm-hmm. 229 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:41,998 I'm very, very glad to see you, sir. 230 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:45,873 I know you don't really do this sort of thing. 231 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:48,520 Well, I do for old friends, Watson. 232 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:50,193 John 233 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:51,918 - It's good to see you. - You, too. 234 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:56,878 Civilian life suiting you, then? 235 00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:59,270 Er, yes, well, I think so, sir. 236 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:00,634 No more need for the trick cyclist? 237 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:03,917 No, I go now and then. Sort of a top-up. 238 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:07,190 Therapy can be very helpful. 239 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,513 Where are you living these days? 240 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:15,909 Oh, way out in the middle of nowhere. You wouldn't know it. 241 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:18,316 - JOHN: You look well. - I've never even heard him say his name. 242 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:19,993 Well, he's almost a recluse. 243 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:21,150 - You know, since... - Yes. 244 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:23,599 I didn't think he'd show up at all. 245 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:25,717 John says he's the most unsociable man he's ever met. 246 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,916 - He is? He's the most unsociable? - Mmm. 247 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,879 Ah, that's why he's bouncing around him like a puppy. 248 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:33,154 0h, Sherlock. 249 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:36,269 Neither of us were the first, you know. 250 00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:38,556 - Stop smiling. - It's my wedding day. 251 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:43,149 (GAB?! 252 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:45,958 (POUNDING FOOTSTEPS) 253 00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:01,834 (EXHALES) 254 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:10,512 (MOBILE RINGING) 255 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:13,675 Yes. What'! 256 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,270 - Sherlock. - Why are you out of breath? 257 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:18,070 Filing. 258 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:19,389 Either I've caught you in a compromising position 259 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:21,915 or you've been working out again. Favour the latter. 260 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:24,197 - What do you want? - I need your answer, Mycroft, 261 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:25,475 as a matter of urgency. 262 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,632 - Answer? - Even at the eleventh hour 263 00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:29,393 it's not too late to know. 264 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:30,675 0h, Lord. 265 00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:32,319 Cars can be ordered, 266 00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:33,834 private jets com ma ndeered. 267 00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:36,230 Today. It's today, isn't it? 268 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:38,873 No, Sherlock, I will not be coming 269 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:41,600 to the "night do", as you so poetically put it. 270 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:43,394 What a shame. 271 00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:45,950 Mary and john will be extremely... 272 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:48,509 Delighted not to have me hanging around. 273 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:49,999 Oh, I don": know. 274 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,151 There should always be a spectre at the feast. 275 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:56,239 So, this is it, then'! The big day. 276 00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,437 I suppose I'll be seeing a lot more of you from now on. 277 00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:02,111 - What do you mean? - It'll be just like old times. 278 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:03,429 No, I don't understand. 279 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:05,431 Well, it's the end of an era, isn't it? 280 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:08,639 john and Maw. Domestic bliss. 281 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:11,917 Ne, no, no. I prefer to think of it as the beginning of a new chapter. 282 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:15,750 - What? - Nothing. 283 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:17,433 I know that silence. What? 284 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,193 Well, I'd better let you get back to it. 285 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:21,590 You have a big speech or something, don't you? 286 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:23,950 - What? fakes. Karaoke. 287 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:25,875 Mingling, Mycroft! 288 00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:29,710 This is what people do, Sherlock. They get married. I warned you. 289 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:31,279 Don't get involved. 290 00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:32,555 Involved? I'm not involved. 291 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:34,597 - No. -john asked me to be his best man. 292 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:36,000 - How could I say no? Absolute/y. 293 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:37,514 - I'm not involved. - I believe you. 294 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:38,999 Really, I do. 295 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:42,869 Have a lovely day and do give the happy couple my best. 296 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:45,150 I will. 297 00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:46,710 Oh, by the way, Sherlock. 298 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,389 Do you remember Redhead'!? 299 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,111 I'm not a child any more, Mycroft. 300 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:55,952 No, of course you're not. 301 00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,436 Enjoy not getting involved, Sherlock. 302 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,598 Pray silence for the best man. 303 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:24,193 (ALL CHEERING) 304 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,192 Ladies and gentlemen, 305 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:34,233 family and friends. 306 00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:38,271 And, urn... 307 00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:40,635 others. 308 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,832 - Uh... -(CLEARING THROAT) 309 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:53,519 (STAMMERING) Also... 310 00:17:57,840 --> 00:17:58,989 - Greg. - Molly. 311 00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:00,275 I just had a thought. 312 00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:01,395 Is that a brain? 313 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,393 What ifjohn asks Sherlock to be his best man? 314 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:06,437 - Well, he will. He's bound to. - Exactly. 315 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:09,080 - So? - So, he'll have to make a speech 316 00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:10,150 in front of people. 317 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:13,991 There will be actual people there actually listening. 318 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,638 Well, what's the worst that could happen? 319 00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:19,431 Helen Louise probably wondered the same. 320 00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:20,910 Helen Louise? 321 00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:26,318 (PHONE RINGING) 322 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,149 0h, hello, dear. 323 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,880 I was just thinking, ifjohn does ask Sherlock... 324 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:33,793 What, the speech, dear? I know. It'll be fine. 325 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,789 It's not just the speech, though, is it? 326 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:38,878 (MRS HUDSON LAUGHING) 327 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:47,870 Mrs Hudson? 328 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,474 - Oh, no, darling. - You all right? 329 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:52,233 I was going to see Sherlock and I thought you were... 330 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:54,391 - No. -...possibly dying. 331 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:55,754 I'm sorry. 332 00:18:57,640 --> 00:18:58,835 What's wrong? 333 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:00,799 The telegrams. 334 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,710 - Sorry, what? - Oh, sorry. 335 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:06,677 (CONTINUES LAUGHING) 336 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,229 The telegrams. 337 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:13,280 Right, urn... 338 00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:15,078 -(CLEARING THROAT) - Mmm. 339 00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:17,518 First things first. 340 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:18,590 Telegrams. 341 00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:19,830 Well, they' re not actually telegrams. 342 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:21,593 We just call them telegrams, I don't know why. 343 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:22,715 Wedding tradition. 344 00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:26,080 Because we don't have enough of that already, apparently. 345 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:27,950 "To Mr and Mrs Watson. 346 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:30,429 "So sorry I'm unable to be with you on your special day. 347 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,397 "Good luck and best wishes, Mike Stanford." 348 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:33,629 - Ah, Mike. - Aw. 349 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:35,040 "Tojohn and Mary. 350 00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:37,839 "All good wishes for your special day. With love and many big... 351 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:42,111 "big squishy cuddles from Stella and Ted." 352 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,875 -(CHUCKLES) -"Mary, lots of love..." Oh! 353 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:49,399 - Yeah? -"...poppet." 354 00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:53,796 "Oodles of love and heaps of good wishes from Cam. 355 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,317 "Wish your family could have seen this." 356 00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:58,232 - Hey, hmm? - Yep. 357 00:19:58,320 --> 00:19:59,640 Urn... "Special day." 358 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:04,478 "Very special day." "Love." "Love." "Love." "Love." 359 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:06,039 "Love." Bit of a theme, you get the general gist. 360 00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:07,394 People are basically fond. 361 00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:09,153 (GUESTS LAUGHING) 362 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:11,434 john Watson. 363 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,757 My friend,john Watson. 364 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:19,435 John 365 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:23,597 When john first broached the subject of being best man, I was confused. 366 00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:26,229 Sherlock? - What was that noise downstairs? 367 00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:27,799 Ah, it was Mrs Hudson laughing. 368 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:29,837 It sounds like she was torturing an owl. 369 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:31,638 Yeah, well it was laughter. 370 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:33,235 Could have been both. 371 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,796 “SIGHINQ Julius” 'sfself. 372 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:39,554 Sometimes it's so hard not smoking. 373 00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:41,839 Mind if] interrupt? 374 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,230 Oh, be my guest. 375 00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,316 - Tea? - Ah... 376 00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:49,709 So. (CLEARING THROAT) 377 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,000 - The big question. - Mmm-hmm? 378 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,195 The best man. 379 00:20:56,360 --> 00:20:58,237 - The best man'! - What do you think? 380 00:20:58,320 --> 00:20:59,390 Billy Kincaid. 381 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:02,038 - Sorry, what? - Billy Kincaid, the Camden Garrotter. 382 00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:03,110 Best man I ever knew. 383 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:04,873 Vast contributions to charity never disclosed. 384 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,395 Personally managed to save three hospitals from closure, 385 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:10,040 and ran the best and safest children's homes in North England. 386 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,716 Yes, every now and again there would be some garrottings, 387 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,314 but stacking up the lives saved against the garrottings, 388 00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:16,799 -on balance I'd say... - For my wedding. 389 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,114 For me. I need a best man. 390 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:20,190 Oh, right. 391 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,237 - Maybe not a garrotter. - Gavin? 392 00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:25,038 - Who7 - Gavin Lestrade. 393 00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:27,157 He's a man and good at it. 394 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:28,639 It's Greg. 395 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,154 And he's not my best friend. 396 00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,278 Oh, Mike Stanford, I see. 397 00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:33,919 Well, he's nice, urn... 398 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,035 Though I'm not sure how well he'd cope with... 399 00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:37,760 No, Mike's great, but he's not my best friend. 400 00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:43,637 Look, Sherlock, this is the biggest and most important day of my life. 401 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,757 - Well... - No, it is. It is. 402 00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:48,634 And I want to be up there with the two people 403 00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:51,030 that I love and care about 404 00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:52,758 -most in the world. - Yes. 405 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:57,793 - Mary Morstan... - Yes. 406 00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:01,595 ...and... 407 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:07,799 Wu, 408 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,152 I confess at first I didn't realise he was asking me. 409 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:12,878 When finally I understood, 410 00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:15,998 I expressed to him that I was both flattered and surprised. 411 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,956 I explained to him that I had never expected this request 412 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,838 and I was a little daunted in the face of it. 413 00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:26,355 Sherlock? 414 00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,474 I nonetheless promised that I would do my very best to accomplish a task 415 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:34,392 which was, for me, as demanding and difficult 416 00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:35,914 as any I had ever contemplated. 417 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,116 Additionally, Ithanked him for the trust he placed in me 418 00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,953 and indicated that I was, in some ways, 419 00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:43,600 very close to being moved by it. 420 00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:50,039 No, it's getting a bit scary now. 421 00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:52,634 It Later transpired that I'd said none of this out aloud. 422 00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:54,677 (ALL LAUGHING) 423 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:01,000 So, in fact... 424 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:05,393 - You-you mean... - Yes. 425 00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,872 I'm your...best... 426 00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:12,235 - Man. -...friend? 427 00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,830 Yeah, of course you are. 428 00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,594 Course you're my best friend. 429 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:30,835 Well, how was that? 430 00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:34,393 Surprisingly okay. 431 00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:40,155 So you'll have to make a speech, of course. 432 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,476 SHERLOCK: (CLEARING THROAT) So... 433 00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:49,480 Done that. Done that. 434 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,399 Done that bit. Done that bit. 435 00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:52,830 Done that bit. 436 00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,472 I'm afraid, john, I can't congratulate you. 437 00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:00,679 All emotions, and in particular love, 438 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,718 stand opposed to the pure cold reason I hold above all things. 439 00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:06,071 A wedding is, in my considered opinion, 440 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:09,710 nothing short of a celebration of all that is false and specious 441 00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:11,711 and irrational and sentimental 442 00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:13,996 in this ailing and morally compromised world. 443 00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:17,357 Today we honour the deathwatch beetle that is the doom of our society 444 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:21,479 and in time, one feels certain, our entire species. 445 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:29,911 But anyway, let's talk about John. 446 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:31,559 Please. (CLEARING THROAT) 447 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,280 If] burden myself with a little helpmate during my adventures, 448 00:24:34,360 --> 00:24:36,237 it is not out of sentiment or caprice, 449 00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:38,550 it is that he has many fine qualities of his own 450 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,836 that he has overlooked in his obsession with me. 451 00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:43,673 Indeed, any reputation I have for mental acuity and sharpness 452 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,036 comes in truth from the extraordinary contrast 453 00:24:46,120 --> 00:24:47,793 john so selflessly provides. 454 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:49,518 It is a fact, I believe, that brides tend to favour 455 00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,910 exceptionally plain bridesmaids for their big day. 456 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,071 There is a certain analogy there, I feel. 457 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:55,594 And contrast is, after all, 458 00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:58,069 God's own plan to enhance the beauty of his creation. 459 00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:00,834 Or it would be if God were not a ludicrous fantasy 460 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,639 designed to provide a career opportunity for the family idiot. 461 00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:05,154 (GUESTS MURMURING) 462 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,440 The point I'm trying to make is that I am 463 00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:14,313 the most unpleasant, rude, ignorant 464 00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:16,199 and all-round obnoxious arsehole 465 00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,352 that anyone could possibly have the misfortune to meet. 466 00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:22,190 I am dismissive of the virtuous, 467 00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,556 unaware of the beautiful, 468 00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:27,075 and uncomprehending in the face of the happy. 469 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,070 So if I didn't understand I was being asked to be best man, 470 00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:34,039 it is because I never expected to be anybody's best friend. 471 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,955 And certainly not the best friend 472 00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:41,271 of the bravest and kindest and wisest human being 473 00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:43,920 I have ever had the good fortune of knowing. 474 00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:45,315 WOMAN: Aw. 475 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:47,676 John, I am a ridiculous man. 476 00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:51,797 Redeemed only by the warmth and constancy of your friendship. 477 00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:53,279 But as I am, apparently, your best friend, 478 00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:56,591 I cannot congratulate you on your choice of companion. 479 00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:00,840 Actually, now I can. 480 00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:05,353 Mary, when I say you deserve this man, 481 00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:08,799 it is the highest compliment of which I am capable. 482 00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:11,831 John, you have endured war 483 00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:13,909 and injury 484 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:16,154 and tragic loss. 485 00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:18,313 So sorry again about that last one. 486 00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:21,115 So know this. Today you sit between 487 00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:25,154 the woman you have made your wife and the man you have saved. 488 00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:28,876 In short, the two people who love you most in all this world. 489 00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:33,196 And I know I speak for Mary as well when I say we will never let you down 490 00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:35,476 and we have a lifetime ahead to prove that. 491 00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:36,709 (SOBBING) 492 00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:42,834 - If I try and hug him, stop me. {ertainly not. 493 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,720 Ah, yes. Now onto some funny stories about John. 494 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:49,069 (JOHN CLEARING THROAT) 495 00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:52,119 What's wrong'! What happened? Why are you all doing that? 496 00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:53,315 John? 497 00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:55,355 0h, Sherlock. 498 00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:56,869 Did I do it wrong? 499 00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:58,633 No, you didn't. Come here. 500 00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:00,595 (ALL APPLAUDING) 501 00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:02,990 - I haven't finished yet. - Yeah, I know. I know. 502 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,959 - So onto some funny stories... {an you wait till I sit down? 503 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,638 (CLEARING THROAT) 504 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:17,310 So onto some funny stories aboutjohn. 505 00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:20,354 If you could all just cheer up a bit, that would... 506 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:22,431 -(ALL LAUGHING) -...be better. 507 00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:24,310 On we go. 508 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:28,473 So for funny stories, one has to look no further than John's blog. 509 00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:31,553 The record of our time together. 510 00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:35,076 Of course, he does tend to romanticise things a bit but then, you know, 511 00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:36,150 he's a romantic. 512 00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:39,473 We've tackled some strange cases. 513 00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:40,675 The Hollow Client. 514 00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:49,310 The Poisoned Giant. 515 00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:54,790 Get down,john! 516 00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:02,714 We've had some frustrating cases. 517 00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:04,315 (SIGHING) 518 00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:09,874 What is that? 519 00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:13,110 A French decathlete found completely out of his mind 520 00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:17,478 surrounded by 1,812 matchboxes, all empty, except this one. 521 00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:20,830 And what's in that one? 522 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:23,318 The inexplicable. 523 00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:28,314 Touching cases. 524 00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:31,877 She's going to ring the doorbell. 525 00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:35,391 Oh, no, she's changed her mind. 526 00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:38,915 No, she's going to do it. No, she's leaving. 527 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,197 She's leaving. (CLEARING THROAT) 0h, she's coming back. 528 00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:45,238 She's a client, she's boring. I've seen those symptoms before. 529 00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:46,390 Hmm? 530 00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:50,030 Oscillation on the pavement always means there's a love affair. 531 00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:52,350 And of course, I have to mention The Elephant in the Room. 532 00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:56,199 (ELEPHANT TRUMPETING) 533 00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:02,515 But we want something very particular for this special day, don't we? 534 00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:06,239 The Bloody Guardsman. 535 00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:10,513 Need to work on your half of the church, Mary. 536 00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:13,397 - Looking a bit thin. - Oh. 537 00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:14,470 0rphan's lot. 538 00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:16,517 Friends, that's alll have. Lots of friends. 539 00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:19,069 Schedule the organ music to begin at precisely 11:118... 540 00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:21,276 But the rehearsaFs not for another two weeks. just calm down. 541 00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:23,192 Calm? I am calm, I'm extremely calm. 542 00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:25,431 Let's get back to the reception. Come on. 543 00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:27,079 John's cousin, top table'! 544 00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,117 Hmm, hates you. Can't even bear to think about you. 545 00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:31,918 Seriously? Second-class post. 546 00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:33,515 Cheap card. 547 00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:34,954 Bought at a petrol station. Look at the stamp. 548 00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:36,030 Three attempts at licking. 549 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,350 She's obviously unconsciously retaining saliva. 550 00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:39,954 Aw, let's stick her by the bogs. 551 00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:41,758 - Oh, yes. -(MARY CLEARING THROAT) 552 00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:44,309 Who else hates me'! 553 00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:48,434 Oh, great. Thanks. 554 00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:51,638 "Priceless painting nicked." Looks interesting. 555 00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:52,710 - Table four? - Done. 556 00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:54,552 (CHUCKLING) "My husband is three people." 557 00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:57,029 - Ta ble five? - Major James Sholto. Who he? 558 00:29:57,120 --> 00:29:59,680 0h, John's old commanding officer. I don't think he's coming. 559 00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:01,751 - JOHN: He'll be there. - Well, he needs to RSVP, then. 560 00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:02,830 He'll be there. 561 00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:05,356 "My husband is three people." It's interesting. 562 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:09,114 Says he has three distinct patterns of moles on his skin. 563 00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:10,833 Identical triplets. One in half a million births. 564 00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:11,955 Solved it without leaving the flat. 565 00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:13,075 Now, serviettes. 566 00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:15,635 Swan or Sydney Opera House? 567 00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:16,755 Where did you learn to do that? 568 00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:19,195 Many unexpected skills required in the field of criminal investigation. 569 00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:21,078 - Fibbing, Sherlock. - I once broke an alibi 570 00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:23,151 by demonstrating the exact severity of... 571 00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:24,355 I'm not john. I can tell when you're fibbing. 572 00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:25,874 Okay. I learnt it on YouTube. 573 00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:28,520 Opera House, please. Oh, hang on. I'm buzzing. 574 00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:30,755 Hello? 575 00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:34,040 Oh, hi, Beth. 576 00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:37,350 Yeah, yeah, I don't see why not. 577 00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:40,269 Actually, if that's Beth, it's probably for me, too. Hang on. 578 00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:47,034 He knows we don't have a friend called Beth. 579 00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:48,394 He's going to figure out that it's code. 580 00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:49,993 - He's YouTubing serviettes. - He's thorough. 581 00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:51,354 - He's terrified. -of course he's not. 582 00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:52,874 Right, you know when you're scared of something, 583 00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:54,917 you start wishing it sooner just to get it all going? 584 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:56,035 That's what he's doing. 585 00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:58,475 Why would he be scared that we're getting married? 586 00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:00,437 It's not going to change anything. We'll still do stuff. 587 00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:02,796 We need to prove it to him. I told you to find him a new case. 588 00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:04,632 - I'm trying. - You need to run him, okay? 589 00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:06,950 Show him it's still the good old days. 590 00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:18,437 Thatjust sort of happened. 591 00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:22,639 Sherlock, urn... 592 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:25,235 mate. 593 00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:27,595 I've... 594 00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:31,278 (SIGHING) I've smelled 18 different perfumes. 595 00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:33,720 I've sampled 596 00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:37,995 nine different slices of cake, which all tasted identical. 597 00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:39,832 I like the bridesmaids in purple. 598 00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:41,354 - Lilac. - Lilac. 599 00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:43,951 Urn, there are no more decisions left to make. 600 00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:47,078 I don't even understand the decisions that we have made. 601 00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:49,197 I'm faking opinions and it's exhausting. 602 00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:51,351 So please, before she comes back... 603 00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:53,520 (CLEARING THROAT) 604 00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:54,955 ...pick something. 605 00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:58,716 Anything, pick one. - Pick what? 606 00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:00,994 (LAUGHING) A case. 607 00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,316 Your inbox is bursting. just... 608 00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:05,115 get me out of here. 609 00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:07,430 You want to go out on a case? Now? 610 00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:08,715 Please. 611 00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:10,229 Sherlock, for me. 612 00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:13,953 Don't you worry about anything. I'll get you out of this. 613 00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:15,678 (MOBILE BEEPING) 614 00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:16,795 Oh. 615 00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:20,679 Dear, Mr Holmes, my name is Bainbridge. 616 00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,434 I'm a private in Her Majesty's Household Guard. 617 00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:25,158 I'm writing to you about a personal matter, 618 00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:27,675 one I don't care to bring before my superiors, 619 00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:29,433 it wouid sound so trivial. 620 00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:32,033 But I think someone's staiking me. 621 00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:34,870 I'm used to tourists, it's part of the job. 622 00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:36,712 But this is different. 623 00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:37,835 Someone's watching me. 624 00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,710 He's taking pidures of me every day. 625 00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:45,550 don't want to mention ii to the manager 626 00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:47,790 but it's really praying on my mind. 627 00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:55,114 Uniform fetishist. All the nice girls like a soldier. 628 00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:56,554 It's sailor. 629 00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:59,314 And Bainbridge thinks his stalker is a bloke. 630 00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:00,629 Let's go and investigate. 631 00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:02,469 - Please? - Elite guard. 632 00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:03,880 Forty enlisted men and officers. 633 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:06,315 Why this particular grenadier'! Curious. 634 00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:08,277 - Now you're talking. - Okay. 635 00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:09,873 -(CLEARING THROAT) - Bye. 636 00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:10,950 Uh, we're just going to... 637 00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:14,078 I need, urn, Sherlock to help me choose some... 638 00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:15,959 - Tie. -...socks. 639 00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:17,594 - Why don": we go with socks? - Yeah. 640 00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:18,670 I mean, you've got to get the right ones. 641 00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:20,159 Exactly. To go with my... 642 00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:21,389 - Tie. -...outfit. 643 00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:23,517 (SIGHING) Well, it'll take a while, right? 644 00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:25,631 - My coat in there? - Yes. 645 00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:29,512 Just going to take him out for a bit. 646 00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:30,954 - Run him. - I know. 647 00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:32,075 You said you'd find him a case. 648 00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:34,234 - Coming, Sherlock? - Coming. 649 00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:43,715 Taxi! 650 00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:00,676 GUARD: Company, halt! 651 00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:07,391 Rig ht turn! 652 00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:10,318 We're here to see Private Steven Bainbridge. 653 00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:12,357 He's on duty right now, sir. 654 00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:13,669 I'll certainly let him know when he's free. 655 00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:15,710 And when will that be? 656 00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:17,595 Another hour. 657 00:34:31,720 --> 00:34:33,677 SHERLOCK: You think they give them classes? 658 00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:34,750 Classes'! 659 00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:37,992 How to resist the temptation to scratch their behinds. 660 00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:41,399 Afferent neurons in the peripheral nervous system. 661 00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:44,113 - Bum itch. 662 00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:51,750 So why don't you see him any more? 663 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:54,514 - Who? - Your previous commander, Sholto. 664 00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:57,877 - Previous commander? - I meant ex. 665 00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:00,238 "Previous" suggests that I currently have a commander. 666 00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:01,719 - Which you don't. - Which I don't. 667 00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:03,154 Of course you don't. 668 00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:05,359 He was decorated, wasn't he? 669 00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:07,556 - A war hero. - Not to everyone. 670 00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:10,591 (CLEARING THROAT) He led a team of crows into battle. 671 00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:12,432 - Crows? - New recruits. 672 00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:14,591 It's standard procedure, break the new boys in, 673 00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:16,353 but it went wrong. 674 00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:19,754 They all died. He was the only survivor. 675 00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:21,239 The press and the families gave him hell. 676 00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:22,390 He gets more death threats than you. 677 00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:24,113 Oh, I wouldn": count on that. 678 00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:27,192 Why have you suddenly taken an interest in another human being? 679 00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:29,629 I'm chatting. 680 00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:35,714 Won't be trying that again. 681 00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:37,950 Changing the subject completely... 682 00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:44,154 You know it won't alter anything, right? Me and Mary getting married. 683 00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:46,360 We'll still be doing all this. 684 00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:47,430 Oh, good. 685 00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:48,840 If you were worried. 686 00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:50,399 I wasn't worried. 687 00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:53,274 (CHUCKLING) 688 00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:56,752 The thing about Mary, 689 00:35:57,320 --> 00:36:00,073 she has completely turned my life around. 690 00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:03,518 Changed everything. 691 00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:06,119 But for the record, 692 00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:10,080 over the last few years, there are two people who have done that and... 693 00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:12,918 the other one is... 694 00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:14,434 a complete dickhead. 695 00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:21,473 (GUARDS MARCHING OUTSIDE) 696 00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:02,158 (INDISTINCT CHATTER AND LAUGHTER) 697 00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:48,473 Can I ask what this is in connection with? 698 00:37:48,720 --> 00:37:52,475 Private Bainbridge contacted us about a personal matter, sir. 699 00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:55,320 Nothing's personal when it concerns my troops. 700 00:37:56,600 --> 00:38:00,036 - What do you really want? - I'm here on a legitimate enquiry. 701 00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:01,669 You press? 702 00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:04,271 Digging for some bloody royal story or something? 703 00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:05,873 No, sir, I'm... 704 00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:08,557 Captain john Watson, Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers... 705 00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:09,835 Retired. 706 00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:13,277 You could be a used car salesman now, for all I know. 707 00:38:16,240 --> 00:38:17,639 -(SHOWER RUNNING) - Bainbridge? 708 00:38:17,720 --> 00:38:19,711 Gentleman hereto see you. 709 00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:22,394 Bainbridge! 710 00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:32,549 I know you, don't]? 711 00:38:33,240 --> 00:38:34,275 Hmm? 712 00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:38,878 I've seen you in the papers. 713 00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:43,710 Hanging around with that detective, the one with the silly hat. 714 00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:47,437 What the hell does Bainbridge want with a detective? 715 00:38:47,720 --> 00:38:49,199 I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to say. 716 00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:51,840 You're not at liberty to say? He's a soldier in my regiment. 717 00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:54,514 I'll be damned if he's going to get up to cloak-and-dagger nonsense like this. 718 00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:55,874 -(DOOR OPENING) - Sir. 719 00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:57,875 - Sir. - What's going on? 720 00:38:57,960 --> 00:38:59,871 It's Bainbridge, sir. He's dead. 721 00:39:09,240 --> 00:39:11,038 M'! aw.! 722 00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:12,675 (SIGHING) 723 00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:15,512 Let me take a look, sir, I'm a doctor. 724 00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:16,715 What? 725 00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:17,950 Sergeant, arrest this man. 726 00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:19,354 What? No, no, I'm a doctor. 727 00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:20,760 Oh, you're a doctor now, too? 728 00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:22,672 - Sergeant. - Let me examine him, please. 729 00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:24,637 Sir, caught this one snooping around. 730 00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:26,914 Is that what this is all about? 731 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:29,879 Distracting me so that this man could get in here and kill Bainbridge? 732 00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:31,473 Kill him with what? Where's the weapon? 733 00:39:31,720 --> 00:39:32,710 - What? - Where's the weapon? 734 00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:34,234 Go on, search me, no weapon. 735 00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:37,160 Bainbridge was on parade. He came off duty five minutes ago. 736 00:39:37,240 --> 00:39:38,355 When's this supposed to have happened? 737 00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:40,511 You obviously stabbed him before he got into the shower. 738 00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:42,079 - No. - No? 739 00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:44,197 He's soaking wet and there's still shampoo in his hair. 740 00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:46,078 He got into the shower and then someone stabbed him. 741 00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:47,798 But the cubicle was locked from the inside, sir. 742 00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:48,870 I had to break it open. 743 00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:50,394 Must have climbed over the top. 744 00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:52,118 Well, then I'd be soaking wet, too, wouldn't I? 745 00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:55,875 Major, please. I'm john Watson, Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers. 746 00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:57,075 Three years in Afghanistan, 747 00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:59,959 a veteran of Kandahar, Helmand and Barts bloody Hospital! 748 00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:01,713 Let me examine this body! 749 00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:10,030 Thank you. 750 00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:12,599 - Suicide? - No. 751 00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:14,479 The weapon again, no knife. 752 00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:20,919 Here we are. There is a wound to the abdomen. 753 00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:23,399 Incredibly fine. 754 00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:24,670 Man stabbed to death. 755 00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:27,635 No murder weapon. Door locked from the inside. 756 00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:29,919 Only one way in or out of here. 757 00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:31,195 Sherlock. - Mmm? 758 00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:34,076 - He's still breathing. - Oh, my God. 759 00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:35,480 - What do we do? - Give me your scarf. 760 00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:37,153 - What? - Quickly, now. 761 00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:39,029 {all an ambulance. - What? 762 00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:40,679 Call an ambulance now! 763 00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:42,595 Do it! 764 00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:44,478 Nurse, press here, hard. 765 00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:46,034 - Nurse? - Yeah, I'm making do. 766 00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:47,793 Keep pressure on that wound. 767 00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,116 Steven? Steven, stay with me. 768 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,389 Private Bainbridge had just come off guard duty. 769 00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:56,471 He'd stood there for hours, plenty of people watching, 770 00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:57,959 nothing apparently wrong. 771 00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:00,680 He came off duty and within minutes was nearly dead 772 00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:04,230 from a wound in his stomach but there was no weapon. 773 00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:05,875 Where did it go? 774 00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:07,837 Ladies and gentlemen, I invite you to consider this. 775 00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:09,957 A murderer who can walk through walls. 776 00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:11,599 A weapon that can vanish. 777 00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:13,791 But in all of this, there is only one element 778 00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:16,679 which can be said to be truly remarkable. 779 00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:20,799 Would anyone like to make a guess? 780 00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:26,876 Come on, come on. There is actually an element of Q&A to all of this. 781 00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:28,553 (CLEARING THROAT) 782 00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:33,194 Scotland Yard, have you got a theory? 783 00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:37,072 Yeah, you. You're a detective, broadly speaking. Got a theory? 784 00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:38,753 Er, um... 785 00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:42,754 (STAMMERING) If the blade was propelled through the, urn... 786 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:46,917 grating in the air vent... 787 00:41:47,240 --> 00:41:50,358 Maybe a ballista or a catapult, 788 00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:52,511 somebody tiny could crawl in there. 789 00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:55,436 So yeah, we're looking for a dwarf. 790 00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:57,670 - Brilliant. - Really? 791 00:41:57,760 --> 00:41:58,750 No. 792 00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:00,797 - Next. -(WHISPERING) He stabbed himself. 793 00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,520 Hello, who was that? Tom. 794 00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:06,590 (CHAIR CREAKING) 795 00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:07,910 Got a theory? 796 00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:15,479 Um, attempted suicide with a blade made of compacted blood and bone. 797 00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:19,152 Broke after piercing his abdomen, like a meat... 798 00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:21,750 daggen 799 00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:23,918 - A meat dagger? - Yes. 800 00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:25,994 Sit down. 801 00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:27,630 No. 802 00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:31,918 There was one feature and only one feature of interest 803 00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:33,798 in the whole of this baffling case 804 00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,235 and quite frankly, it was the usual. 805 00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:37,390 John Watson. 806 00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:39,553 Who, while I was trying to solve the murder, 807 00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:41,392 instead saved a life. 808 00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:46,749 There are mysteries worth solving and stories worth telling. 809 00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:49,554 The best and bravest man I know 810 00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:51,517 and on top of that he actually knows how to do stuff. 811 00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:52,590 (LAUGHING) 812 00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:54,751 Except wedding planning and serviettes, he's rubbish at those. 813 00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:55,875 (GUESTS CHUCKLING) 814 00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:57,598 The case itself remains the most ingenious 815 00:42:57,680 --> 00:42:59,876 and brilliantly planned murder or attempted murder 816 00:42:59,960 --> 00:43:02,156 I've ever had the pleasure to encounter. 817 00:43:02,240 --> 00:43:05,437 The most perfect locked-room mystery of which I am aware. 818 00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:07,754 However, I'm not just here to praise john, 819 00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:10,150 I'm also here embarrass him, so let's move on to some... 820 00:43:10,240 --> 00:43:11,355 No, wait. So how was it done? 821 00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:13,272 - How was what done? - The stabbing. 822 00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:17,274 I'm afraid I don't know. 823 00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:19,317 I didn't solve that one, that's... 824 00:43:19,720 --> 00:43:23,111 It can happen sometimes. It's very... Very disappointing. 825 00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:26,030 Embarrassment leads me on to the stag night. 826 00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:27,919 Course, there's hours of material here, 827 00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:29,957 but I've cut it down to the really good bits. 828 00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:33,239 Murder scenes. 829 00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:36,476 Locations of murders'! 830 00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:37,834 Mmm, pub crawl, themed. 831 00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:39,797 Yeah, but why can't you just do Underground stations? 832 00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:41,994 It Lacks the personal touch. 833 00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:43,229 We're going to go for a drink in... 834 00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:45,197 In every street where you've found a corpse. 835 00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:46,475 Delightful. 836 00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:48,312 - Where do I come in? - Don't want to get ill. 837 00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:49,720 That would ruin it, spoil the mood. 838 00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:52,315 You're a graduate chemist, can't you just work it out? 839 00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:54,073 I like the practical experience. 840 00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:57,313 Meaning you thinkl like a drink? 841 00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:58,754 -0ccasionally. - That I'm a drunk? 842 00:43:58,840 --> 00:43:59,875 No. No! 843 00:44:04,240 --> 00:44:06,038 You look well. 844 00:44:07,240 --> 00:44:09,516 - I am. - How's... 845 00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:13,790 x M“? 846 00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:15,871 - Not a sociopath. - Still? Good. 847 00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:18,679 And we're having quite a lot of sex. 848 00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:21,790 Okay. 849 00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:24,710 I want you to calculate John's ideal intake and mine 850 00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:26,473 to remain in the sweet spot the whole evening. 851 00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:30,196 - Lightheaded good. - Urinating in wardrobes bad. 852 00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:31,550 Hmm. 853 00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:34,473 Two, er, beers, please. 854 00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:37,439 - Pints? 443.7 millilitres. 855 00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:42,150 Ah... 856 00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:45,955 (SIGHING) 857 00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:47,958 (CLEARING THROAT) 858 00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:50,118 - What, we're on a schedule? - You'llthank me. 859 00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:08,673 - Cheers. - Cheers. 860 00:45:14,720 --> 00:45:16,393 - Over there. - What? 861 00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:18,039 Toilets. Any second now, you'll get... 862 00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:19,554 Hang on. Tell me after. I need the loo. 863 00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:20,710 Mmm. On schedule. 864 00:45:21,280 --> 00:45:22,873 - Eh? - Nothing. Go. 865 00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:30,195 'HOW long? Sorry? 866 00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:31,554 Your visit. 867 00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:34,955 If you could estimate approximate volume discharge... 868 00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:36,439 Stop talking now. 869 00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:41,550 Oh. 870 00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:43,995 Quick, one more. He mustn't see. 871 00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:55,239 There you go. 872 00:45:55,560 --> 00:45:56,595 Cheers. 873 00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:00,755 I know Ash! 874 00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:04,153 Don't tell me I don't. 875 00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:10,070 That is enough! That is... 876 00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:14,630 Ashton. 877 00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:16,389 SHERLOCK: I know Ashton! 878 00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:25,040 I have an international reputation. 879 00:46:26,720 --> 00:46:29,360 Do you have an international reputation? 880 00:46:29,440 --> 00:46:31,829 No, I don't have an international reputation. 881 00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:32,955 No. 882 00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:37,316 And I can't even remember what for. 883 00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:39,430 It's... 884 00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:42,869 crime, something like that. 885 00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:48,395 Oh. 886 00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:50,596 What are you doing back? I thought you were going to be out late? 887 00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:53,194 SHERLOCK: Ah, Hudders. What time is it? 888 00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:56,351 You've only been out two hours. 889 00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:09,030 Am I a vegetable? 890 00:47:09,880 --> 00:47:12,315 You or the... (LAUGHING) 891 00:47:13,240 --> 00:47:14,435 Funny. 892 00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:16,514 - Thank you. - Come on. 893 00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:19,035 - No, you're not a vegetable. - It's your go. 894 00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:22,273 Uh... 895 00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:23,634 Am I human'! 896 00:47:24,720 --> 00:47:25,790 Sometimes. 897 00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:27,598 Can't have sometimes. Has to be, urn... 898 00:47:27,680 --> 00:47:28,715 Yes, you're human. 899 00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:31,030 Yes, I know. And am I man? 900 00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:33,079 - Yep. - Ta ll? 901 00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:36,000 Not as tall as people think. 902 00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:37,434 Hmm. Nice'! 903 00:47:38,800 --> 00:47:40,279 - Ish. - Clever? 904 00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:42,237 - I'd say so. - You would. 905 00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:44,510 Am I important? 906 00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:46,079 To some people. 907 00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:48,720 Do "people" like me? 908 00:47:49,720 --> 00:47:51,040 Er, no, they don't. 909 00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:53,634 You tend to rub them up the wrong way. 910 00:47:53,720 --> 00:47:55,154 - Okay. -(LAUGHING) 911 00:47:55,640 --> 00:47:56,914 Am Ithe current King of England? 912 00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:58,320 JOHN: We... (LAUGHING) 913 00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:01,792 You know we don't have a king. 914 00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:03,075 - Don't we? - No. 915 00:48:03,320 --> 00:48:04,310 Your go. 916 00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:13,309 I don't mind. 917 00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:15,154 Am I a woman? 918 00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:17,199 (LAUGHING) 919 00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:19,475 What? 920 00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:21,035 Yes. 921 00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:23,839 Am I pretty? 922 00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:26,430 This. 923 00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:31,352 Beauty is a construct based entirely on childhood impressions, 924 00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:32,953 influences and role models. 925 00:48:34,200 --> 00:48:36,350 Yeah, but am I a pretty lady? 926 00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:41,357 I don't know who you are. I don't know who you're supposed to be. 927 00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:42,589 You picked the name! 928 00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:45,274 Yeah, but] picked it at random from the papers. 929 00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:48,439 You're not really getting the hang of this game, are you, Sherlock'! 930 00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:51,399 So I am human, I'm not as tall as people think I am. 931 00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:53,835 I'm... I'm nice-ish. 932 00:48:54,240 --> 00:48:56,595 Clever. Important to some people. 933 00:48:56,880 --> 00:48:59,190 But I tend to rub them up the wrong way. 934 00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:00,600 (LAUGHING) 935 00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:02,594 - Go'£ it. - Go on, then. 936 00:49:02,680 --> 00:49:03,829 I'm you, aren't]? 937 00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:05,595 MRS HUDSON: (KNOCKING) Client! 938 00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:06,875 Client. 939 00:49:07,720 --> 00:49:09,313 - Hello. - Hello. 940 00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:10,390 Come. 941 00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:12,471 Which one of you is Sherlock Holmes? 942 00:49:14,560 --> 00:49:16,597 (WHISTLING) 943 00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:19,594 I don't a lot. 944 00:49:19,680 --> 00:49:23,719 I mean, I don't date all that much and... 945 00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:27,478 He seemed nice, you know? 946 00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:29,995 We seemed to automatically connect. 947 00:49:30,720 --> 00:49:32,757 We had one night, dinner. 948 00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:38,110 Such interesting conversation, it was lovely. 949 00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:39,873 To be honest, 950 00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:43,715 I'd love to have gone further but I thought, 951 00:49:44,040 --> 00:49:46,316 "No, this is special. 952 00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:49,638 "Let's take it slowly. Exchange numbers." 953 00:49:49,720 --> 00:49:51,950 He said he'd get in touch and then... 954 00:49:55,640 --> 00:49:58,837 Maybe he wasn't quite 955 00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:02,432 as keen as I was but I... 956 00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:07,909 I just thought at least he'd call to say that we were finished. 957 00:50:15,720 --> 00:50:17,358 I went round there. 958 00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:20,152 To his flat. No trace of him. 959 00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:24,352 Mr Holmes, I honestly think 960 00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:29,069 I had dinner with a ghost. 961 00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:31,353 (SHERLOCK MUMBLING) 962 00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:34,550 Mr Holmes? 963 00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:36,834 (FAINT SNORING) 964 00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:41,559 With a ghost, Mr Holmes! 965 00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:43,559 Boring. Boring. Boring. No! 966 00:50:44,880 --> 00:50:46,200 Fascinating. 967 00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:49,073 John,john, wake up. 968 00:50:49,760 --> 00:50:52,036 Apologise about my, you know... 969 00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:53,995 Rude. Rude! 970 00:50:55,600 --> 00:51:00,356 I checked with the landlord and the man who lived there died. 971 00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:02,349 Heart attack. 972 00:51:02,880 --> 00:51:07,113 And there we are having dinner one week on. 973 00:51:07,600 --> 00:51:10,479 And I found this thing online, 974 00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:12,517 sort of chat room thing, 975 00:51:13,440 --> 00:51:16,956 for girls who think they're dating men from the spirit world. 976 00:51:17,360 --> 00:51:20,079 Don't worry. I'll find him in 10 minutes. 977 00:51:20,640 --> 00:51:21,630 What's your dog's name? 978 00:51:21,720 --> 00:51:23,279 JOHN: (MUMBLING) Yeah, I'll be there if you want... 979 00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:24,714 john, wake up. 980 00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:26,154 Meant to... (SNAPS FINGERS) 981 00:51:26,240 --> 00:51:28,470 You... The game is something... 982 00:51:30,400 --> 00:51:32,232 - Oh. - Yeah, that, that. 983 00:51:32,680 --> 00:51:33,795 WOMAN: Okay. 984 00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:43,879 Oh, it's nice. 985 00:51:45,320 --> 00:51:46,640 Nice place. 986 00:51:51,720 --> 00:51:52,710 S“ “WWHQ? “mm? 987 00:51:53,720 --> 00:51:55,472 Any clues, Mr Holmes? 988 00:51:56,320 --> 00:51:57,549 Oh, er... 989 00:52:18,800 --> 00:52:20,438 I'm just going to whip this out. 990 00:52:28,040 --> 00:52:29,189 Mmm-hmm. 991 00:52:37,200 --> 00:52:38,270 - You all right? - Hmm? 992 00:52:38,360 --> 00:52:39,714 - Yeah, he's clueing. - What? 993 00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:40,995 He's... Hmm? 994 00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:42,912 He's clueing for looks. 995 00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:55,120 Mr Holmes? 996 00:52:56,080 --> 00:52:57,354 (SNORING) 997 00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:02,557 - Mr Holmes? - I'm calling the police. 998 00:53:02,640 --> 00:53:03,755 Oh, no. 999 00:53:03,960 --> 00:53:05,439 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 1000 00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:06,749 This is a famous detective. 1001 00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:09,514 It's Sherlock Holmes and his partnenjohn Hamish Watson. 1002 00:53:09,720 --> 00:53:10,949 What do you think you're doing? 1003 00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:15,280 Don't compromise the integrity of the... 1004 00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:17,510 (vommwe) 1005 00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:22,640 Crime scene. 1006 00:53:29,120 --> 00:53:31,191 Yeah, that. 1007 00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:39,115 (SIGHING) 1008 00:53:51,200 --> 00:53:53,271 - LESTRADE: Wakey, wakey! - Oh, my God. 1009 00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:55,875 Greg? Is that Greg? 1010 00:53:55,960 --> 00:53:57,109 Get up, I'm going to put you two in a taxi. 1011 00:53:57,520 --> 00:54:00,080 Managed to square things with the desk sergeant. 1012 00:54:00,160 --> 00:54:01,150 (CHUCKLING) 1013 00:54:01,360 --> 00:54:02,589 What a couple of lightweights. 1014 00:54:02,680 --> 00:54:04,398 You couldn't even make it to closing time. 1015 00:54:04,480 --> 00:54:07,393 {an you whisper? -(SHOUTING) Not really! 1016 00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:11,675 Come on. 1017 00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:27,550 Well, thanks for, you know, 1018 00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:30,597 -an evening. - It was awful. 1019 00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:32,034 - Yep. - Oh. 1020 00:54:32,120 --> 00:54:34,077 I was going to pretend but... 1021 00:54:34,160 --> 00:54:35,389 It was, truly. 1022 00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:37,551 - That woman Tessa... - What? 1023 00:54:37,640 --> 00:54:40,200 Dated a ghost, most interesting case for months. 1024 00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:42,237 What a wasted opportunity. 1025 00:54:43,200 --> 00:54:44,315 Okay. 1026 00:54:51,040 --> 00:54:53,270 - MRS HUDSON: How are you feeling? - Mmm. 1027 00:54:54,880 --> 00:54:57,633 It's just like old times, having you back here. 1028 00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:00,277 I thought I'd make your favourite. 1029 00:55:00,360 --> 00:55:02,192 - One last time. - Oh. 1030 00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:04,635 (CLEARING THROAT) Don't sound so final about it. 1031 00:55:04,720 --> 00:55:05,710 I will be visiting, you know. 1032 00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:08,189 Oh, I've heard that one before. 1033 00:55:08,280 --> 00:55:09,270 No, it's different now, though, isn't it? 1034 00:55:09,360 --> 00:55:11,033 It's different to when we thought we'd lost him. 1035 00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:13,475 Well, marriage changes everything, John. 1036 00:55:14,040 --> 00:55:15,235 - Does it? - Yeah. 1037 00:55:15,320 --> 00:55:17,391 You might not think it but it does. 1038 00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:19,391 It's a different phase in your life. 1039 00:55:19,720 --> 00:55:22,394 You meet new people 'cause you're a couple. 1040 00:55:22,920 --> 00:55:26,276 And then you just let your old friends slip away. 1041 00:55:26,360 --> 00:55:28,237 It won't be like that. 1042 00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:31,039 Well, if you've found the right one, the person that you click with, 1043 00:55:31,120 --> 00:55:32,679 it's the best thing in the world. 1044 00:55:32,760 --> 00:55:34,512 Well, I have. I know I have. 1045 00:55:34,600 --> 00:55:36,750 Oh, I'm sure. She's lovely. 1046 00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:38,194 Yeah, I think so. 1047 00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:40,478 - What about you? - Me? 1048 00:55:40,560 --> 00:55:43,791 Did you think you'd found the right one when you married Mr Hudson? 1049 00:55:43,880 --> 00:55:46,872 No. It was just a whirlwind thing for us. 1050 00:55:47,200 --> 00:55:48,190 I knew it wouldn't work 1051 00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:50,237 -but I just got sort of swept along. - Right. 1052 00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:52,278 And then we moved to Florida. 1053 00:55:52,520 --> 00:55:54,079 We had a fantastic time 1054 00:55:54,160 --> 00:55:56,276 but of course, I didn't know what he was up to. 1055 00:55:56,360 --> 00:55:58,033 - The drugs. - Drugs? 1056 00:55:58,400 --> 00:55:59,435 He was running, urn... 1057 00:55:59,960 --> 00:56:01,439 Oh, God, what do you call it? 1058 00:56:01,680 --> 00:56:03,239 Um, a... 1059 00:56:03,680 --> 00:56:04,715 cartel. 1060 00:56:05,240 --> 00:56:08,119 - And got in with a really bad crowd. - Right. 1061 00:56:08,200 --> 00:56:10,589 And then I found out about all the other women. 1062 00:56:10,680 --> 00:56:12,398 I didn't have a clue. 1063 00:56:13,280 --> 00:56:16,875 So when he was actually arrested for blowing someone's head oh', 1064 00:56:18,200 --> 00:56:20,316 it was quite a relief, to be honest. 1065 00:56:22,040 --> 00:56:23,189 Right. 1066 00:56:23,800 --> 00:56:25,916 It was purely physical between me and Frank. 1067 00:56:26,240 --> 00:56:27,833 We couldn't keep our hands off each other. 1068 00:56:28,560 --> 00:56:30,995 And, um, there was one night... 1069 00:56:31,080 --> 00:56:32,832 Oh, is that Sherlock? 1070 00:56:32,920 --> 00:56:33,910 Is it'! 1071 00:56:34,960 --> 00:56:36,030 (FAINT FOOTSTEPS) 1072 00:56:36,120 --> 00:56:37,758 No, it's Sherlock. 1073 00:56:41,320 --> 00:56:42,549 (GROANING) 1074 00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:48,640 (APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS) 1075 00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:53,158 (SHERLOCK CLEARING THROAT) 1076 00:56:57,280 --> 00:56:58,270 There are going to be others. 1077 00:56:58,360 --> 00:57:00,192 - Others? - Vic'cims. Women. 1078 00:57:01,120 --> 00:57:02,952 Most ghosts tend to haunt a single house. 1079 00:57:03,040 --> 00:57:05,395 This ghost, however, is willing to commute. Look. 1080 00:57:28,040 --> 00:57:29,474 Mmm...not you. 1081 00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:32,640 Not you. Not you. Not you. Not you. Not you. 1082 00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:34,798 Not you. Not you. 1083 00:57:35,280 --> 00:57:37,874 Not you. Not you. Not you. 1084 00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:42,915 Not you. Not you. Not you. Not you. 1085 00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:44,434 Not you. Not you. Not you. 1086 00:57:44,960 --> 00:57:48,669 Not you. Not you. Not you. Not you. Not you, you, you or you. Or you. 1087 00:57:48,760 --> 00:57:51,912 Oryou. Not you. Not you. Not you. Not you. 1088 00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:55,110 Not you. Not you. 1089 00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:05,151 - Hi. - Gail. 1090 00:58:11,240 --> 00:58:12,389 Charlotte. 1091 00:58:13,800 --> 00:58:14,949 Robyn. 1092 00:58:18,680 --> 00:58:19,829 Vicky. 1093 00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:29,635 How did you meet? 1094 00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:31,040 Came up to me in a pub. 1095 00:58:31,120 --> 00:58:32,519 Same gym as me. 1096 00:58:32,600 --> 00:58:33,954 We just got chatting on the bus. 1097 00:58:34,040 --> 00:58:35,030 Online. 1098 00:58:35,480 --> 00:58:36,834 - Name? - Told you. 1099 00:58:36,920 --> 00:58:37,990 His name. 1100 00:58:38,080 --> 00:58:39,639 -0scar. - Mike. 1101 00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:40,869 Terry. 1102 00:58:40,960 --> 00:58:43,076 Urn, Love Monkey. 1103 00:58:44,200 --> 00:58:46,191 - Your place? - WOMEN: His place. 1104 00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:48,670 Address? 1105 00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:50,319 (VOICES OVERLAPPING) 1106 00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:54,320 Nothing happened. 1107 00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:57,119 It was just very romantic. 1108 00:58:57,200 --> 00:58:59,589 Four women in four nights. He must have something special. 1109 00:58:59,680 --> 00:59:01,591 - He was very charming. - Innocent. 1110 00:59:01,840 --> 00:59:02,875 He was sweet. 1111 00:59:03,200 --> 00:59:04,554 - He a lovely... - You okay'! 1112 00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:06,039 (COMPUTER BEEPING) 1113 00:59:06,840 --> 00:59:07,989 Let your food go cold. 1114 00:59:08,080 --> 00:59:09,400 Mrs Hudson will play hell. 1115 00:59:09,480 --> 00:59:10,959 Not now, John. 1116 00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:16,435 - Sorry about that. -(COMPUTER BEEPS) 1117 00:59:16,520 --> 00:59:17,840 He had a lovely manner. 1118 00:59:18,760 --> 00:59:20,592 Different names, different addresses. 1119 00:59:21,360 --> 00:59:23,397 - Describe him. - Short blond hair. 1120 00:59:23,480 --> 00:59:24,754 Dark hair. Long. 1121 00:59:24,840 --> 00:59:26,478 Ginger. I like gingers. 1122 00:59:26,560 --> 00:59:27,595 Couldn't tell. 1123 00:59:28,400 --> 00:59:29,595 He had a mask on. 1124 00:59:31,720 --> 00:59:33,597 SHERLOCK: He's stealing the identity of corpses, 1125 00:59:33,680 --> 00:59:35,751 getting their names from the obituary columns. 1126 00:59:36,840 --> 00:59:38,035 All single men. 1127 00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:39,634 He's using the dead man's flat 1128 00:59:39,720 --> 00:59:41,313 under the assumption it'll be empty for a while. 1129 00:59:42,520 --> 00:59:43,590 Free love nest. 1130 00:59:43,880 --> 00:59:45,598 - I feel sick. - It's gruesome. 1131 00:59:45,680 --> 00:59:47,478 - That's awful. - Clever. 1132 00:59:47,560 --> 00:59:48,550 Bastard. 1133 00:59:48,640 --> 00:59:49,994 (cmmme) 1134 00:59:53,520 --> 00:59:55,158 SHERLOCK: Hello, Tessa. 1135 00:59:55,720 --> 00:59:58,234 Meanwhile, back to business. No one wants to use a dead man's home. 1136 00:59:59,960 --> 01:00:05,080 At least not until it's been cleared, so he disguises himself, 1137 01:00:05,160 --> 01:00:07,356 steals the man's home, steals his identity. 1138 01:00:07,440 --> 01:00:08,874 But only for one night. 1139 01:00:09,520 --> 01:00:11,557 - And he's gone. - He's not a ghost, John. 1140 01:00:11,640 --> 01:00:13,916 He's a mayfly. He lives for a day. 1141 01:00:15,120 --> 01:00:19,000 So what was it he was looking for? 1142 01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:20,230 10b? 1143 01:00:20,320 --> 01:00:21,435 - Gardener. - Cook. 1144 01:00:21,520 --> 01:00:22,954 - Private nurse. - I do security work. 1145 01:00:23,280 --> 01:00:24,315 Maid. 1146 01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:27,472 Obvious. You all work for the same person. 1147 01:00:42,160 --> 01:00:43,958 No, no. Not the same employer. 1148 01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:45,678 Damn! Come on, we can do this. 1149 01:00:46,440 --> 01:00:47,555 Ideal night out? 1150 01:00:47,640 --> 01:00:49,438 {lay pigeon shooting. - Line dancing. 1151 01:00:49,840 --> 01:00:51,717 - Pictures. - Wine in front of the telly. 1152 01:00:52,240 --> 01:00:53,230 Dungeon. 1153 01:00:55,520 --> 01:00:57,113 - Makeup? - Clarins. 1154 01:00:57,200 --> 01:00:58,838 Mo'! . Maybewne. 1155 01:00:59,160 --> 01:01:01,071 - Nothing special. - Whatever's cheap. 1156 01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:02,910 Perfume? 1157 01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:04,479 :E::::t 1158 01:01:04,760 --> 01:01:06,239 :E::::t 1159 01:01:06,440 --> 01:01:07,475 Estée Lauder. 1160 01:01:08,920 --> 01:01:09,955 Ideal man'! 1161 01:01:10,240 --> 01:01:12,117 - George Clooney. - Oh, no. 1162 01:01:12,200 --> 01:01:13,235 Home-loving. 1163 01:01:13,520 --> 01:01:14,590 He'd have to like cuddling. 1164 01:01:15,200 --> 01:01:16,235 Caring. 1165 01:01:16,520 --> 01:01:17,510 Ten things. 1166 01:01:17,600 --> 01:01:19,591 One, someone who isn't competitive with other men. 1167 01:01:20,160 --> 01:01:24,836 Two, someone who isn't constantly trying to define himself by his masculinity. 1168 01:01:26,960 --> 01:01:29,110 There's a unifying factor, there has to be. 1169 01:01:29,200 --> 01:01:31,760 None of you reported anything stolen. 1170 01:01:33,480 --> 01:01:34,993 Security guard, gardener, cook, 1171 01:01:35,480 --> 01:01:37,039 maid, private nurse. 1172 01:01:37,120 --> 01:01:38,554 He's romancing his way up the pecking order, 1173 01:01:38,640 --> 01:01:40,438 somebody's pecking order. Come on, think. 1174 01:01:40,520 --> 01:01:41,794 Unless... 1175 01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:45,073 Do you have a secret you've never told anyone? 1176 01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:46,230 WOMEN: No. 1177 01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:48,399 - Gotcha. - What do you mean? 1178 01:01:48,480 --> 01:01:50,756 Everyone has secrets and they all replied too quickly. 1179 01:01:51,080 --> 01:01:52,354 - Got to go. - See you. 1180 01:01:52,440 --> 01:01:53,635 - No, wait. - Bye-bye. 1181 01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:56,280 Sorry, sexy, some secrets have to stay secret. 1182 01:01:56,800 --> 01:01:58,154 Enjoy the wedding. 1183 01:01:58,240 --> 01:01:59,310 Yeah. 1184 01:02:00,640 --> 01:02:02,631 Why? Why would he date all of those women 1185 01:02:02,720 --> 01:02:03,915 and not return their calls? 1186 01:02:04,160 --> 01:02:05,230 You're missing the obvious, mate. 1187 01:02:05,960 --> 01:02:07,314 - Am I'! - He's a man. 1188 01:02:08,120 --> 01:02:09,997 Why would he change his identity? 1189 01:02:10,320 --> 01:02:11,435 Maybe he's married. 1190 01:02:13,720 --> 01:02:14,710 Oh. 1191 01:02:14,800 --> 01:02:16,029 Married. 1192 01:02:16,640 --> 01:02:17,869 Obvious, really. 1193 01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:21,032 Our mayfly man was trying to escape the suffocating chains of domesticity 1194 01:02:21,120 --> 01:02:22,758 and instead of endless nights in watching the telly 1195 01:02:22,840 --> 01:02:24,433 or going to barbeques with the awful, dreadful, 1196 01:02:24,520 --> 01:02:25,794 boring people he couldn't stand, 1197 01:02:25,880 --> 01:02:28,110 he used his wits, cleverness and powers of disguise 1198 01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:29,190 to play the field. 1199 01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:30,270 He was... 1200 01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:35,559 On second thoughts, 1201 01:02:35,640 --> 01:02:37,597 I probably should have told you about The Elephant in the Room. 1202 01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:40,197 However, it does help to further illustrate 1203 01:02:40,280 --> 01:02:42,430 how invaluablejohn is to me. 1204 01:02:43,360 --> 01:02:45,795 I can read a crime scene the way he can understand a human being. 1205 01:02:45,880 --> 01:02:47,473 I used to think that's what made me special. 1206 01:02:47,560 --> 01:02:49,870 Quite frankly, I still do. But a word to the wise. 1207 01:02:49,960 --> 01:02:52,952 Should any of you require the services of either of us, 1208 01:02:53,040 --> 01:02:54,838 I will solve your murder 1209 01:02:54,920 --> 01:02:57,480 but it takesjohn Watson to save your life. 1210 01:02:57,720 --> 01:02:58,755 Trust me on that. I should know. 1211 01:02:58,840 --> 01:03:01,400 He's saved mine so many times and in so many ways. 1212 01:03:03,960 --> 01:03:05,189 This blog 1213 01:03:06,560 --> 01:03:10,872 is the story of two men and their frankly ridiculous adventures. 1214 01:03:11,640 --> 01:03:14,473 -(GUESTS CHUCKLING) - Of murder, mystery and mayhem. 1215 01:03:15,680 --> 01:03:18,798 But from now on, there's a new story. 1216 01:03:20,280 --> 01:03:21,918 A bigger adventure. 1217 01:03:23,840 --> 01:03:25,433 Ladies and gentlemen, 1218 01:03:25,520 --> 01:03:28,034 pray charge your glasses and be upstanding. 1219 01:03:29,680 --> 01:03:33,514 Today begin the adventures of Mary Elizabeth Watson 1220 01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:35,273 and john Hamish Watson. 1221 01:03:35,360 --> 01:03:36,475 (GIGGLING) 1222 01:03:36,560 --> 01:03:39,279 The two reasons why every single one of us is... 1223 01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:41,990 (SHUTTER CLICKING) 1224 01:03:43,240 --> 01:03:44,913 (SHUTTER CLICKING) 1225 01:03:48,600 --> 01:03:50,273 (SHUTTER CLICKING) 1226 01:03:57,320 --> 01:03:59,436 What did you say? 1227 01:03:59,640 --> 01:04:01,870 You said, 1228 01:04:01,960 --> 01:04:04,998 "john Hamish Watson." 1229 01:04:05,080 --> 01:04:07,310 You said that, you said Hamish. 1230 01:04:08,200 --> 01:04:10,476 This is a famous detective, it's Sherlock Holmes 1231 01:04:10,560 --> 01:04:12,597 and his partnenjohn Hamish Watson. 1232 01:04:12,680 --> 01:04:15,354 How did you know? 1233 01:04:15,440 --> 01:04:17,716 How did you know his middle name? 1234 01:04:17,800 --> 01:04:19,393 Never tells anyone, he hates it. 1235 01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:24,959 John H Watson? 1236 01:04:26,080 --> 01:04:27,070 Yep. 1237 01:04:33,640 --> 01:04:35,153 - Henry? - Shut up. 1238 01:04:36,120 --> 01:04:37,838 - Humphrey? - Shut up. 1239 01:04:38,440 --> 01:04:39,999 (SHOWER RUNNING) 1240 01:04:40,440 --> 01:04:42,909 'Higgins? JOHN: Go away! 1241 01:04:43,800 --> 01:04:45,996 Took him years to confide in me. 1242 01:04:46,080 --> 01:04:47,354 (SIGHING) 1243 01:04:48,800 --> 01:04:50,313 That's my birth certificate. 1244 01:04:50,400 --> 01:04:51,470 Yep. 1245 01:04:56,640 --> 01:04:58,233 And the woman, she knew. 1246 01:05:00,760 --> 01:05:03,434 Hamish. (CLEARING THROAT) 1247 01:05:03,600 --> 01:05:05,079 john Hamish Watson. 1248 01:05:05,160 --> 01:05:08,118 Just if you were looking for baby names. 1249 01:05:08,600 --> 01:05:10,352 God knows where she is. 1250 01:05:14,880 --> 01:05:16,837 Out of my head, I am busy! 1251 01:05:18,360 --> 01:05:20,670 There's only one time that name's been made public. 1252 01:05:20,920 --> 01:05:22,911 JOHN: Does it have to be on the invitation? 1253 01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:24,479 It's your name. 1254 01:05:24,720 --> 01:05:26,597 - It's traditional. - It's funny. 1255 01:05:29,480 --> 01:05:31,312 TESSA". Enjoy the wedding. 1256 01:05:35,640 --> 01:05:36,869 Enjoy the wedding. 1257 01:05:36,960 --> 01:05:38,359 The wedding! 1258 01:05:38,440 --> 01:05:39,430 You knew about the wedding. 1259 01:05:39,520 --> 01:05:41,830 More importantly, you'd seen the wedding invitation. 1260 01:05:42,080 --> 01:05:43,832 Now, barely a hundred people had seen that invitation. 1261 01:05:43,920 --> 01:05:45,877 The Mayfly Man only saw five women. 1262 01:05:45,960 --> 01:05:47,473 For one person to be in both groups... 1263 01:05:48,920 --> 01:05:50,115 could be a coincidence. 1264 01:05:50,200 --> 01:05:51,873 MYCROFI': Oh, Sherlock. 1265 01:05:52,280 --> 01:05:54,032 What do we say about coincidence? 1266 01:05:54,120 --> 01:05:55,599 The universe is rarely so lazy. 1267 01:05:55,680 --> 01:05:57,671 So, the balance of probability is... 1268 01:05:57,760 --> 01:05:58,750 Someone went to great lengths 1269 01:05:58,840 --> 01:05:59,875 to find out something about this wedding. 1270 01:05:59,960 --> 01:06:02,793 - What great lengths? - They lied. Assumed false identities. 1271 01:06:02,880 --> 01:06:04,871 - Which suggests? - Criminal intent. 1272 01:06:04,960 --> 01:06:07,474 - Also suggests... - Intelligence. Planning. 1273 01:06:07,560 --> 01:06:09,870 Clearly. But more importantly... 1274 01:06:11,880 --> 01:06:12,915 The Mayfly Man. 1275 01:06:14,000 --> 01:06:15,354 The Mayfly Man is... 1276 01:06:15,440 --> 01:06:17,317 ...here today. {GLASS SHATTERING) 1277 01:06:17,680 --> 01:06:18,795 Ooh, sorry, I... 1278 01:06:19,520 --> 01:06:21,670 (CLEARING THROAT) 1279 01:06:21,760 --> 01:06:22,750 WAITER: Another glass, sir? 1280 01:06:22,960 --> 01:06:24,030 Thank you, yes. Thank you, yes. 1281 01:06:24,920 --> 01:06:27,116 Something is going to happen, right here. 1282 01:06:30,200 --> 01:06:31,315 Now, where were we? 1283 01:06:31,400 --> 01:06:32,435 Could be any second. 1284 01:06:36,200 --> 01:06:37,474 You have control of the room. 1285 01:06:38,080 --> 01:06:40,151 Ah, yes, raising glasses and standing up. 1286 01:06:40,720 --> 01:06:42,199 Very good, thank you. 1287 01:06:42,280 --> 01:06:43,634 Don't lose it. 1288 01:06:44,200 --> 01:06:45,679 And down again. 1289 01:06:46,000 --> 01:06:47,559 (GUESTS MUTTERING) 1290 01:06:54,160 --> 01:06:57,676 Ladies and gentlemen, people tell you not to milk a good speech. 1291 01:06:57,760 --> 01:06:59,717 Get off early, leave them laughing. 1292 01:07:01,680 --> 01:07:05,275 Wise advice I'll certainly try to bear in mind but for now... 1293 01:07:06,000 --> 01:07:09,311 Part two! Part two is more action-based. 1294 01:07:09,400 --> 01:07:12,711 I'm going to walk around, shake things up a bit. 1295 01:07:13,680 --> 01:07:16,149 Who'd go to a wedding? That's the question. 1296 01:07:16,240 --> 01:07:20,473 Who would bother to go to any lengths to get themselves to a wedding'! 1297 01:07:22,320 --> 01:07:24,197 Well, everyone. 1298 01:07:24,280 --> 01:07:25,873 Weddings are great! Love a wedding. 1299 01:07:25,960 --> 01:07:27,758 - What's he doing? - Something's wrong. 1300 01:07:27,840 --> 01:07:29,274 And John's great, too. 1301 01:07:29,360 --> 01:07:31,920 [haven't said that enough, barely scratched the surface. 1302 01:07:32,000 --> 01:07:36,836 I could go on all night about the depth and complexity of his... 1303 01:07:36,920 --> 01:07:39,309 - WOMAN: jumpers. -...jumpers, and he can cook... 1304 01:07:39,400 --> 01:07:42,153 Does a thing, 1305 01:07:42,520 --> 01:07:45,273 thing with peas...once. 1306 01:07:45,360 --> 01:07:46,998 Might not be peas, might not be him. 1307 01:07:47,080 --> 01:07:50,038 But he's got a great singing voice or somebody does... 1308 01:07:50,800 --> 01:07:52,632 Too many, too many, too many, too many! 1309 01:07:53,640 --> 01:07:55,472 Sorry, too manyjokes aboutjohn. 1310 01:07:56,560 --> 01:07:57,880 Now, uh... 1311 01:07:58,280 --> 01:07:59,350 Criminal intent. 1312 01:07:59,440 --> 01:08:01,078 Where was I? Ah, yes. 1313 01:08:01,160 --> 01:08:02,958 Extraordinary lengths. 1314 01:08:03,040 --> 01:08:04,599 Speech! Speech. 1315 01:08:05,320 --> 01:08:06,355 Let's talk about... 1316 01:08:06,440 --> 01:08:08,875 All of which is suggestive of... 1317 01:08:10,480 --> 01:08:11,470 - Murder. -(GROANING) 1318 01:08:11,560 --> 01:08:14,120 Sorry, did I say "murder"? I meant to say "marriage". 1319 01:08:14,200 --> 01:08:15,873 But, you know, they're... 1320 01:08:16,320 --> 01:08:18,311 quite similar procedures, when you think about it, 1321 01:08:18,400 --> 01:08:22,598 the participants tend to know each other and it's over when one of them's dead. 1322 01:08:22,680 --> 01:08:24,478 In fairness, murder is a lot quicker, though. 1323 01:08:24,560 --> 01:08:26,312 Janine, what about this one? Acceptably hot? 1324 01:08:26,600 --> 01:08:28,955 More importantly, his girlfriend's wearing brand-new, uncomfortable underwear 1325 01:08:29,040 --> 01:08:31,395 and hasn't bothered to pick this thread ofi of the top of hisjacket 1326 01:08:31,480 --> 01:08:33,153 or point out the grease smudge on the back of his neck. 1327 01:08:33,240 --> 01:08:35,914 Currently, he's going home alone. Also, he's a comics and sci-fi geek, 1328 01:08:36,000 --> 01:08:38,116 they're always tremendously grateful when you put the hours in. 1329 01:08:38,200 --> 01:08:40,510 -(GASPS) - Geoff, the gents. 1330 01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:43,150 - The loos, now, please. - Greg. 1331 01:08:43,240 --> 01:08:44,230 - The loos, please. -(MOBILE BEEPS) 1332 01:08:44,320 --> 01:08:46,914 - Why? - Oh, I don't know, maybe it's your turn. 1333 01:08:47,360 --> 01:08:49,112 Yeah, actually, now you mention it... 1334 01:08:49,520 --> 01:08:51,955 JOHN: Sherlock, any chance of an end date 1335 01:08:52,040 --> 01:08:53,713 for this speech? Gotta cut the cake. 1336 01:08:54,280 --> 01:08:56,237 Oh! Ladies and gentlemen, 1337 01:08:56,320 --> 01:08:58,675 can't stand it when I finally get the chance to speak for once, 1338 01:08:58,760 --> 01:09:01,274 - Vatican Cameos. - What did he say? What does that mean? 1339 01:09:01,920 --> 01:09:03,718 Battle stations, someone's going to die. 1340 01:09:03,800 --> 01:09:04,915 What? 1341 01:09:06,080 --> 01:09:07,115 Narrow it down. 1342 01:09:07,800 --> 01:09:08,995 Narrow it down. 1343 01:09:10,360 --> 01:09:11,953 Narrow it down. 1344 01:09:12,040 --> 01:09:13,792 No! 1345 01:09:13,880 --> 01:09:16,394 No! Not you, not you. 1346 01:09:17,440 --> 01:09:18,430 You. 1347 01:09:19,840 --> 01:09:21,319 It's always you. 1348 01:09:21,400 --> 01:09:23,596 John Watson, you keep me right. 1349 01:09:25,600 --> 01:09:27,989 - What do I do? - You've already done it. 1350 01:09:28,080 --> 01:09:31,152 Don": solve the murder, save the life. 1351 01:09:31,240 --> 01:09:32,992 (INHALING) Sorry. 1352 01:09:33,080 --> 01:09:35,230 Off-piste a bit, back now, phew! 1353 01:09:35,560 --> 01:09:38,120 Let's play a game. Let's play Murder. 1354 01:09:39,360 --> 01:09:40,998 MRS HUDSON: Sherlock! 1355 01:09:41,080 --> 01:09:44,391 Imagine someone's going to get murdered at a wedding. 1356 01:09:44,480 --> 01:09:45,709 Who exactly would you pick? 1357 01:09:45,800 --> 01:09:47,916 I think you're a popular choice at the moment, dear. 1358 01:09:48,040 --> 01:09:50,236 If someone could move Mrs Hudson's glass just slightly out of reach, 1359 01:09:50,320 --> 01:09:51,913 that would be lovely. 1360 01:09:52,000 --> 01:09:55,755 More importantly, who could you only kill at a wedding? 1361 01:09:57,800 --> 01:09:59,279 Most people you can killany old place. 1362 01:09:59,400 --> 01:10:01,152 As a mental exercise, I have often planned 1363 01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:02,753 the murder of friends and colleagues. 1364 01:10:02,840 --> 01:10:06,515 Now,john I'd poison. Sloppy eater, dead easy. 1365 01:10:06,600 --> 01:10:09,114 I've given him chemicals and compounds that way, he's never even noticed. 1366 01:10:09,200 --> 01:10:10,759 He missed a whole Wednesday once, didn't have a clue. 1367 01:10:10,840 --> 01:10:11,875 Lestrade's so easy to kill, 1368 01:10:11,960 --> 01:10:13,439 it's a miracle no one's succumbed to the temptation. 1369 01:10:13,520 --> 01:10:14,715 I've got a pair of keys to my brother's house, 1370 01:10:14,800 --> 01:10:16,473 I could easily break in there and asphyxiate him... 1371 01:10:16,560 --> 01:10:18,039 If the whim arose. 1372 01:10:18,120 --> 01:10:19,997 He's pissed, isn't he? Ow! 1373 01:10:20,080 --> 01:10:23,914 So, once again, who could you only kill here? 1374 01:10:24,480 --> 01:10:25,629 Clearly, it's a rare opportunity, 1375 01:10:25,720 --> 01:10:27,279 so it's someone who doesn't get out much. 1376 01:10:27,520 --> 01:10:29,033 Someone for whom a planned social encounter 1377 01:10:29,120 --> 01:10:31,634 known about months in advance is an exception. 1378 01:10:31,720 --> 01:10:33,791 Has to be a unique opportunity. 1379 01:10:35,120 --> 01:10:37,475 And since killing someone in public is difficult, 1380 01:10:37,560 --> 01:10:39,437 killing them in private isn't an option. 1381 01:10:39,520 --> 01:10:42,638 Someone who lives in an inaccessible or unknown location, then. 1382 01:10:42,720 --> 01:10:44,631 Someone private, perhaps, 1383 01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:47,037 obsessed with personal security... 1384 01:10:48,000 --> 01:10:49,911 -(BEEPING) - Possibly someone under threat. 1385 01:10:54,600 --> 01:10:55,795 Majorjames Sholto, who he? 1386 01:10:55,880 --> 01:10:57,757 - I don't think he's coming. - He'll be there. 1387 01:10:57,840 --> 01:10:59,751 - Where are you living these days? - Oh, 1388 01:10:59,840 --> 01:11:01,114 way out in the middle of nowhere. 1389 01:11:01,800 --> 01:11:03,279 The press and the family's giving him hell, 1390 01:11:03,360 --> 01:11:04,589 he gets more death threats than you. 1391 01:11:07,320 --> 01:11:08,674 Oh, a recluse? 1392 01:11:09,400 --> 01:11:10,720 Small household staff. 1393 01:11:10,800 --> 01:11:12,837 - Job? - Gardener, cook, private nurse, maid. 1394 01:11:12,920 --> 01:11:14,718 High turnover for additional security. 1395 01:11:14,800 --> 01:11:15,790 I do security work. 1396 01:11:15,880 --> 01:11:17,712 Probably all signed confidentiality agreements. 1397 01:11:17,800 --> 01:11:19,199 Do you have a secret you've never told anyone? 1398 01:11:19,280 --> 01:11:21,191 - ALL: No. - There's another question that remains, 1399 01:11:21,280 --> 01:11:22,953 however, rather a big one, a huge one. 1400 01:11:23,040 --> 01:11:24,951 How would you do it? How do you kill someone in public? 1401 01:11:25,040 --> 01:11:26,235 There has to be a way. 1402 01:11:26,320 --> 01:11:28,516 - This has been planned. - Mr Holmes, Mr Holmes! 1403 01:11:28,600 --> 01:11:29,920 Oh, hello again, Archie. What's yourtheory? 1404 01:11:30,000 --> 01:11:31,718 Get this right and there's a headless nun in it for you. 1405 01:11:31,800 --> 01:11:33,074 The invisible man could do it. 1406 01:11:33,160 --> 01:11:34,514 The who, the what, the when, the why, the where? 1407 01:11:34,600 --> 01:11:35,954 The invisible man with the invisible knife, 1408 01:11:36,560 --> 01:11:38,119 the one who tried to kill the guardsman. 1409 01:11:55,600 --> 01:11:57,910 Bainbridge? Bainbridge! 1410 01:12:05,240 --> 01:12:08,119 Oh, not just planned, planned and rehearsed. 1411 01:12:10,520 --> 01:12:13,114 Ladies and gentlemen, there will now be a short interlude. 1412 01:12:13,200 --> 01:12:14,759 To the bride and groom! 1413 01:12:16,560 --> 01:12:18,790 GUESTS: To the bride and the groom. 1414 01:12:19,520 --> 01:12:20,669 Major Sholto's going to be murdered. 1415 01:12:20,760 --> 01:12:22,319 I don't know how or by whom but it's going to happen. 1416 01:12:23,160 --> 01:12:26,073 Excuse me, coming through, consulting. 1417 01:12:26,160 --> 01:12:27,833 - Stay here. - Please be careful. 1418 01:12:27,920 --> 01:12:29,957 Excuse me, coming through. 1419 01:12:30,040 --> 01:12:31,872 Excuse me. 1420 01:12:32,600 --> 01:12:35,752 Sorry, one moment. Oh, I'm so sorry. 1421 01:12:35,920 --> 01:12:38,036 What's happening? What's going on? 1422 01:13:01,520 --> 01:13:04,114 How can you not remember which room? You remember everything! 1423 01:13:04,200 --> 01:13:06,237 - I have to delete something! Q07! 1424 01:13:13,520 --> 01:13:14,555 (KNOCKING) 1425 01:13:14,640 --> 01:13:15,960 Mays: Shaka'!? 1426 01:13:16,040 --> 01:13:17,235 Mays: Shaka'!? 1427 01:13:18,920 --> 01:13:20,194 Maw Shake'.! 1428 01:13:20,280 --> 01:13:22,078 If someone's about to make an attempt on my life, 1429 01:13:22,160 --> 01:13:24,549 it won't be the first time. I'm ready. 1430 01:13:24,640 --> 01:13:26,313 Major, let us in! 1431 01:13:26,400 --> 01:13:27,913 - Kick the door down. - SHOLTO: I really wouldn't. 1432 01:13:28,880 --> 01:13:32,396 I have a gun in my hand and a lifetime of unfortunate reflexes. 1433 01:13:32,480 --> 01:13:34,153 You're not safe in there. Whoever's after you, 1434 01:13:34,240 --> 01:13:35,799 we know that a locked room doesn't stop him. 1435 01:13:35,880 --> 01:13:37,917 The invisible man with the invisible knife? 1436 01:13:38,000 --> 01:13:39,399 I don't know how he does it so I can't stop him 1437 01:13:39,480 --> 01:13:40,550 and that means he'll do it again. 1438 01:13:40,640 --> 01:13:41,630 Solve it, then. 1439 01:13:41,760 --> 01:13:43,433 I... I'm sorry? 1440 01:13:43,520 --> 01:13:46,638 SHOLTO: You're the famous Mr Holmes. Solve the case, on you go. 1441 01:13:47,040 --> 01:13:49,190 Tell me how he did it and I'll open the door. 1442 01:13:49,280 --> 01:13:53,069 Please, this is no time for games. just let us in, you're in danger! 1443 01:13:53,160 --> 01:13:54,639 So are you, so long as you're here. 1444 01:13:54,720 --> 01:13:56,358 Please, leave me. 1445 01:13:57,680 --> 01:14:00,911 Despite my reputation, I really don't approve of collateral damage. 1446 01:14:01,280 --> 01:14:02,839 - Solve it. - Sorry? 1447 01:14:02,920 --> 01:14:04,149 Solve it and he'll open the door, like he said. 1448 01:14:04,240 --> 01:14:05,753 I couldn't solve it before, how can I solve it now? 1449 01:14:05,840 --> 01:14:07,478 - Because it matters now! - What are you talking about? 1450 01:14:07,560 --> 01:14:09,198 What's she talking about? Get your wife under control. 1451 01:14:09,280 --> 01:14:10,315 JOHN: She's right. 1452 01:14:10,400 --> 01:14:12,710 - Oh, you've changed. - No, she is. Shut up. 1453 01:14:12,800 --> 01:14:15,076 You are not a puzzle solver, you never have been. 1454 01:14:15,160 --> 01:14:17,549 You're a drama queen. Now, there is a man in there about to die, 1455 01:14:17,640 --> 01:14:19,233 the game is on, solve it! 1456 01:14:25,440 --> 01:14:26,430 (cum KING) 1457 01:14:26,640 --> 01:14:28,119 (SIZZLING) 1458 01:14:35,320 --> 01:14:36,390 -(SHOWER RUNNING) - Bainbridge? 1459 01:14:36,480 --> 01:14:37,800 (KNOCKING) 1460 01:14:39,520 --> 01:14:40,510 Bainbridge! 1461 01:14:43,200 --> 01:14:44,190 Though, in fairness, 1462 01:14:44,280 --> 01:14:45,554 -he's a drama queen, too. - Yeah, I know. 1463 01:14:45,640 --> 01:14:47,711 Major Sholto, no one's coming to kill you. 1464 01:14:47,800 --> 01:14:50,110 I'm afraid you've already been killed several hours ago. 1465 01:14:51,480 --> 01:14:53,551 - What did you say? - Don't take off your belt. 1466 01:14:54,080 --> 01:14:55,115 My belt? 1467 01:14:55,440 --> 01:14:56,430 His belt, yes. 1468 01:14:56,520 --> 01:14:58,636 Bainbridge was stabbed hours before we even saw him, 1469 01:14:58,720 --> 01:15:00,279 -but it was through his belt. -(CLICKING) 1470 01:15:00,360 --> 01:15:01,953 Tight belt, worn high on the waist. 1471 01:15:02,040 --> 01:15:03,997 Very easy to push a small blade through the fabric, 1472 01:15:04,080 --> 01:15:05,229 and you wouldn't even feel it. 1473 01:15:05,320 --> 01:15:07,231 The belt would bind the flesh together 1474 01:15:07,320 --> 01:15:08,310 -when it was tight. - Exactly. 1475 01:15:08,400 --> 01:15:10,357 - And when you took it off... - Delayed action stabbing. 1476 01:15:10,440 --> 01:15:12,590 All the time in the world to create an alibi. 1477 01:15:12,680 --> 01:15:13,750 Maw Shake'.! 1478 01:15:13,960 --> 01:15:15,109 So... 1479 01:15:18,040 --> 01:15:20,395 I was to be killed by my uniform. 1480 01:15:21,320 --> 01:15:22,799 How appropriate. 1481 01:15:25,800 --> 01:15:28,838 He solved the case, Major, you're supposed to open the door now. 1482 01:15:28,920 --> 01:15:29,910 A deal is a deal. 1483 01:15:30,200 --> 01:15:31,998 I'm not even supposed to have this any more. 1484 01:15:32,080 --> 01:15:34,196 They gave me special dispensation to keep it. 1485 01:15:34,840 --> 01:15:36,990 I couldn't imagine life out of this uniform, 1486 01:15:37,080 --> 01:15:39,356 I suppose, given the circumstances, I don't have to. 1487 01:15:42,520 --> 01:15:46,195 When so many want you dead, it hardly seems good manners to argue. 1488 01:15:51,240 --> 01:15:54,596 Whatever you're doing in there, James, stop it right now. 1489 01:15:54,680 --> 01:15:56,114 I will kick this door down. 1490 01:15:56,200 --> 01:15:58,635 SHOLTO: Mr Holmes, you and I are similar, I think. 1491 01:15:58,720 --> 01:16:00,154 Yes, I think we are. 1492 01:16:00,240 --> 01:16:01,992 There's a proper time to die, isn't there? 1493 01:16:02,080 --> 01:16:03,070 Of course there is. 1494 01:16:03,160 --> 01:16:05,276 And one should embrace it when it comes. 1495 01:16:07,200 --> 01:16:08,190 Like a soldier. 1496 01:16:08,280 --> 01:16:10,999 Of course one should but not at John's wedding! 1497 01:16:12,720 --> 01:16:16,236 We wouldn't do that, would we, you and me? 1498 01:16:16,800 --> 01:16:20,589 We would never do that to john Watson. 1499 01:16:25,280 --> 01:16:27,271 - I'm going to break it down. - Wait, wait, you won't have to. 1500 01:16:27,360 --> 01:16:28,430 Hmm? 1501 01:16:34,560 --> 01:16:36,870 I believe I am in need of medical attention. 1502 01:16:37,840 --> 01:16:39,717 I believe I'm your doctor. 1503 01:16:46,680 --> 01:16:49,194 (CLASSICAL WALTZ PLAYING) 1504 01:16:52,920 --> 01:16:54,194 (HUMMING) 1505 01:16:56,680 --> 01:16:58,432 Yeah, pretty good, just... 1506 01:16:58,520 --> 01:17:01,319 - Hold your nerve when you're turning. - Why do we have to rehearse? 1507 01:17:01,400 --> 01:17:03,835 Because we are about to dance together in public 1508 01:17:03,920 --> 01:17:05,149 and your skills are appalling. 1509 01:17:05,240 --> 01:17:06,560 (LAUGHING) 1510 01:17:07,320 --> 01:17:08,993 - Well, you're a good teacher. - Hmm. 1511 01:17:09,080 --> 01:17:10,479 And you're a brilliant dancer. 1512 01:17:11,240 --> 01:17:14,119 - I'll let you in on something, Janine. - Go on, then. 1513 01:17:14,480 --> 01:17:16,949 - I love dancing. I've always loved it. Seriously? 1514 01:17:17,040 --> 01:17:18,030 Watch out. 1515 01:17:22,640 --> 01:17:23,835 Oh! 1516 01:17:23,920 --> 01:17:25,672 (CLEARING THROAT) That rarely comes up in crime work 1517 01:17:25,760 --> 01:17:27,398 but, you know, I live in hope of the right case. 1518 01:17:28,040 --> 01:17:29,792 (SIGHING) I wish you weren't... 1519 01:17:31,280 --> 01:17:32,998 whatever it is you are. 1520 01:17:33,560 --> 01:17:34,914 - I know. - Well! 1521 01:17:35,240 --> 01:17:36,719 Glad to see you've pulled, Sherlock, 1522 01:17:36,800 --> 01:17:38,632 what with murderers running riot at my wedding. 1523 01:17:38,720 --> 01:17:41,473 One murder... One nearly murderer. He loves to exaggerate. 1524 01:17:41,560 --> 01:17:42,630 You should try living with him. 1525 01:17:43,160 --> 01:17:44,195 Sherlock. 1526 01:17:45,080 --> 01:17:48,118 - Got him for you. - Ah! The photographer, excellent. 1527 01:17:48,360 --> 01:17:51,398 Thank you. Um, mayl have a look at your camera? 1528 01:17:52,160 --> 01:17:54,800 Uh, what's this about? I was halfway home. 1529 01:17:55,160 --> 01:17:56,480 - You should have driven faster. -(BEEPING) 1530 01:17:57,480 --> 01:18:00,359 Ah, yes. Yes! Very good! 1531 01:18:00,960 --> 01:18:03,713 There, you see? Perfect. 1532 01:18:03,800 --> 01:18:06,030 What is? You going to tell us? 1533 01:18:06,560 --> 01:18:07,755 Try looking yourself. 1534 01:18:08,320 --> 01:18:09,833 Who? For what? 1535 01:18:11,320 --> 01:18:12,674 Is the murderer in these photographs? 1536 01:18:12,760 --> 01:18:15,320 It's not what's in the photographs, it's what's not in them. 1537 01:18:15,400 --> 01:18:16,515 Not in any of them. 1538 01:18:16,600 --> 01:18:19,797 Sherlock, the showing-off thing, we've discussed it before. 1539 01:18:22,000 --> 01:18:25,630 There is always a man at a wedding who is not in any photograph, 1540 01:18:25,720 --> 01:18:27,393 who can go anywhere, 1541 01:18:27,480 --> 01:18:29,994 even carry an equipment bag around with him if he likes. 1542 01:18:30,280 --> 01:18:32,510 And you never even see his face. 1543 01:18:32,600 --> 01:18:33,635 You only ever see... 1544 01:18:42,400 --> 01:18:43,629 the camera. 1545 01:18:43,720 --> 01:18:45,040 What are you doing? What is this? 1546 01:18:45,120 --> 01:18:47,839 Jonathan Small, today's substitute wedding photographer, 1547 01:18:47,920 --> 01:18:50,116 known to us as the Mayfly Man. 1548 01:18:50,640 --> 01:18:54,235 His brother was one of the raw recruits killed in that incursion. 1549 01:18:54,800 --> 01:18:56,359 Johnny sought revenge on Sholto, 1550 01:18:56,440 --> 01:19:00,035 worked his way through Sholto's staff, found what he needed. 1551 01:19:00,560 --> 01:19:02,437 An invitation to a wedding. 1552 01:19:02,520 --> 01:19:05,194 The one time She/to would have to be out in public. 1553 01:19:05,280 --> 01:19:07,078 So, he made his plan 1554 01:19:07,360 --> 01:19:09,397 and rehearsed the murder, 1555 01:19:10,120 --> 01:19:12,999 making sure of every last detail. 1556 01:19:26,440 --> 01:19:29,432 Brilliant, ruthless and almost certainly a monomaniac. 1557 01:19:29,520 --> 01:19:31,716 Though, in fairness, his photographs are actually quite good. 1558 01:19:32,040 --> 01:19:33,314 Everything you need's on that. 1559 01:19:33,720 --> 01:19:36,155 You probably ought to arrest him or something. 1560 01:19:37,600 --> 01:19:39,557 - Do you always carry handcuffs? - Down, girl. 1561 01:19:39,640 --> 01:19:40,630 Come on, quick. 1562 01:19:41,200 --> 01:19:42,838 It's not me you should be arresting, Mr Holmes. 1563 01:19:42,920 --> 01:19:45,514 Oh, I don't do the arresting, I just farm that out. 1564 01:19:45,600 --> 01:19:47,591 Sholto, he's the killer, not me. 1565 01:19:48,640 --> 01:19:50,119 I should have killed him quicker. 1566 01:19:52,920 --> 01:19:55,036 I shouldn't have tried to be clever. 1567 01:19:55,720 --> 01:19:57,711 You should have driven faster. 1568 01:20:07,320 --> 01:20:08,469 Right. 1569 01:20:09,680 --> 01:20:11,273 (VIOLIN PLAYING) 1570 01:21:12,360 --> 01:21:13,794 (GASPS) Really? 1571 01:21:13,880 --> 01:21:15,473 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1572 01:21:16,680 --> 01:21:19,069 Whoa! Yeah! 1573 01:21:19,840 --> 01:21:21,672 Whoa! 1574 01:21:27,000 --> 01:21:29,310 Ladies and gentlemen, just one last thing 1575 01:21:29,400 --> 01:21:30,993 before the evening begins properly. 1576 01:21:31,080 --> 01:21:34,710 Apologies for earlier, a crisis arose and was dealt with. 1577 01:21:35,560 --> 01:21:38,871 More importantly, however, today we saw two people make vows. 1578 01:21:38,960 --> 01:21:41,759 I have never made a vow in my life and after tonight I never will again. 1579 01:21:41,840 --> 01:21:46,277 So, here in front of you all, my first and last vow. 1580 01:21:47,160 --> 01:21:48,514 Mary and john... 1581 01:21:49,840 --> 01:21:52,354 Whatever it takes, whatever happens, 1582 01:21:53,280 --> 01:21:57,877 from now on, I swear I will always be there, always, 1583 01:21:57,960 --> 01:21:59,712 for all three of you. 1584 01:21:59,800 --> 01:22:02,314 Uh, I'm sorry, I mean two of you. All two of you. 1585 01:22:02,400 --> 01:22:04,152 Both of you, in fact, I just miscounted. 1586 01:22:04,240 --> 01:22:07,710 Anyway, it's time for dancing. Play the music again, please. Thank you. 1587 01:22:07,800 --> 01:22:09,950 Okay everybody, just dance. Don't be shy. 1588 01:22:10,080 --> 01:22:12,117 {DECEMBER I963 (OH WHA TA NIGHT) PLAYS) - Dancing, please! Very good! 1589 01:22:12,560 --> 01:22:14,710 Sorry, that was one more deduction than I was really expecting. 1590 01:22:14,800 --> 01:22:16,518 - Deduction? - Increased appetite. 1591 01:22:16,600 --> 01:22:18,557 - I'm starving! - Change of taste perception. 1592 01:22:18,640 --> 01:22:20,836 Ugh, I chose this wine. It's bloody awful! 1593 01:22:20,920 --> 01:22:23,719 You were sick this morning. You assumed it was just wedding nerves. 1594 01:22:23,800 --> 01:22:25,711 You got angry with me when I mentioned it to you. 1595 01:22:25,800 --> 01:22:27,313 All the signs are there. 1596 01:22:27,520 --> 01:22:28,590 The signs? 1597 01:22:30,080 --> 01:22:32,151 - The signs of three. - What? 1598 01:22:32,840 --> 01:22:34,831 Mary, I think you should do a pregnancy test. 1599 01:22:35,920 --> 01:22:37,149 (SHERLOCK MUMBLES) 1600 01:22:37,240 --> 01:22:39,277 The statistics for the first trimester are... 1601 01:22:39,360 --> 01:22:40,430 Shut up! 1602 01:22:41,520 --> 01:22:43,716 - Just shut up. - Sorry. 1603 01:22:44,960 --> 01:22:47,315 How did he notice before me? I'm a bloody doctor. 1604 01:22:47,400 --> 01:22:48,754 - It's your day off. - It's your day oh'! 1605 01:22:48,840 --> 01:22:49,989 - Stop panicking. - I'm not panicking. 1606 01:22:50,080 --> 01:22:51,400 I'm pregnant, I'm panicking. 1607 01:22:51,480 --> 01:22:53,437 Don't panic. None of you panic. 1608 01:22:54,560 --> 01:22:56,039 Absolutely no reason to panic. 1609 01:22:56,520 --> 01:22:58,716 - Oh, and you'd know, of course? - Yes, I would. 1610 01:22:58,800 --> 01:23:00,199 You're already the best parents in the world, 1611 01:23:00,280 --> 01:23:01,475 look at all the practice you've had. 1612 01:23:01,560 --> 01:23:02,550 The practice? 1613 01:23:02,640 --> 01:23:03,789 Well, you're hardly going to need me around 1614 01:23:03,880 --> 01:23:05,712 now that you've got a real baby on the way. 1615 01:23:14,080 --> 01:23:15,912 - JOHN: Are you all right? - Yeah! 1616 01:23:22,960 --> 01:23:24,234 - Dance! - Hmm? 1617 01:23:24,320 --> 01:23:26,391 Both of you now, go, dance. We can't just stand here, 1618 01:23:26,480 --> 01:23:27,595 people will wonder what we're talking about. 1619 01:23:28,160 --> 01:23:29,958 - Right. - What about you? 1620 01:23:30,040 --> 01:23:31,553 Well, we can": all three dance, there are limits. 1621 01:23:31,640 --> 01:23:33,790 - Yes, there are. -(CLEARING THROAT) 1622 01:23:33,880 --> 01:23:35,200 Come on, husband, let's go. 1623 01:23:35,440 --> 01:23:37,033 - This isn't a waltz, is it? - No. 1624 01:23:37,480 --> 01:23:38,959 Don't worry, Mary, I have been tutoring him. 1625 01:23:39,040 --> 01:23:40,917 He did, you know. Baker Street, behind closed curtains. 1626 01:23:41,000 --> 01:23:44,391 Mrs Hudson came in one time. Don't know how those rumours started.