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Hotel Transylvania 2 [2015]
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Welcome! Welcome!
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Congrats, Drac.
Holy smokes, everybody's here.
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Mr. and Mrs. Loughran,
the parents of the groom, and family.
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-Mom and Dad!
-Johnny!
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I can't believe you're all here.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah!
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Yo, how hot is my date?
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So hot.
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-How 'bout how hot mine is?
-You got a date?
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Yeah. She's invisible.
That's why you can't see her.
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Right. This is the one from "Canada"?
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Wedding's starting.
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Great.
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True. So true, Marty.
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How sweet.
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My. Look at you.
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My gosh.
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Is it everything you wanted,
my little poisonberry?
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It is, Daddy.
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Except where's Grandpa Vlad?
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Honey, your gramps
would not have been cool with this.
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He's old-school.
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How do we know?
If he could just meet Johnny...
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He would have eaten him.
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He's not as enlightened as your hip Daddy.
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So, you're really okay
with him not being a monster?
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Human, monster, unicorn,
as long as you're happy.
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Thanks, Dad.
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And you'll always be my moonlight
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But now on wings of love you soar
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Now that you're Johnny's girl
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Johnny's girl
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And kind of Daddy's, too
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Your mom would be so happy
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'Cause she always knew
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Love is making room for all the best in you
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-Hey, Dad.
-Hey, guys!
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Todd, take a break.
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So, what's up?
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Mavis was wondering
if maybe you wanted to go for a fly.
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We haven't done that in forever.
Any special reason?
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No special reason at all.
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Right, Mavey?
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-What's his deal?
-He's silly.
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It's just a beautiful night, and...
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Well, if you don't want to...
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No, no! Are you kidding?
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I would eat a bucket of garlic to fly with you.
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Honey, look at those fluffy clouds.
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Remember what we played
when you were little?
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Hide and Go Seek Sharp Objects?
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Okay. Regular Hide and Go Seek.
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Where are you?
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Honeybat!
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Mavey!
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Honeybat!
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I'm gonna get you.
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Honey? Are you okay?
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Yes. It's just a little harder
to catch my breath since I'm pregnant.
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Yes, well, I guess that would make it more...
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What?
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I'm gonna be a grandpa!
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And I'm gonna be a dad!
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'Cause you're Daddy's girl, or boy
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Daddy's girl, or boy
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I'm hungry again, honey.
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Can you get me
some ice cream with anchovies?
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No, no, no.
You mustn't give in to your cravings.
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It's not good for the baby.
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You need to increase your spider intake,
so he'll be able to climb ceilings properly.
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And eat lots of sheep bile.
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I love you, Dad, but we don't even know
if the kid's gonna be a vampire.
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I'd be thrilled if the baby's human-y,
just like Johnny.
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"Human-y." With thousands of years
of Dracula genes.
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Not gonna happen.
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As long as the baby's healthy.
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-Of course. A healthy little vampire.
-Or human.
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Yes, a human who can fly as a bat.
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Here. Just have some monster ball soup.
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It's your mommy's recipe.
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Thank you, Dad.
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Just like you made it when I was a kid.
My favorite.
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Sorry.
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Sir, only the father is allowed
in the delivery room.
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Really? I mean, okay.
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He's the family, I guess.
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Look! It's a boy! It's a boy!
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The Dracula bloodline carries on!
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No one will ever harm you
as long as I'm here,
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my little devil dog.
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Dad, can I hold my baby?
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If I were Dad, I'd say yes.
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But I'm the nurse, Francine.
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Here you go anyway.
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My bad.
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Little Dennis is a year old now.
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Nice. Yeah. Cute kid.
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Okay, time for presents, guys.
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All right! Let's do this boy up!
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Check out what I got him. Bling!
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Is it cursed?
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Super cursed. Only the best.
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Straight from the crypt.
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He's just starting to walk,
so maybe it's heavier than...
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You're okay, Denisovich.
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His name is Dennis. Named after my father.
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It's not his vampire name.
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My little Denisovichy-Weesovichy.
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Are we sure he's a vampire?
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I mean, not that it's a bad thing,
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but shouldn't he have fangs
and that pasty skin you guys have?
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Technically, you have until you're five
to get your vampire fangs.
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He'll get his fangs. He's a Dracula.
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He's also half Loughran.
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Maybe he'd be better off where we live.
There's more humans there.
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What? Look how well he's playing
with the wolf pups.
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We have a present. I hope it's acceptable.
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"My First Guillotine."
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Very educational. Well played, Frank.
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It's great. Thank you.
We just have to baby-proof that.
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Johnny, do you know
where you put the rubber guards?
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Baby-proofing a guillotine?
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So you cut your finger off. It's part of the fun.
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She made me baby-proof the whole hotel.
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Someone's overprotective.
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Johnny! Come quick!
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What's up? He's okay?
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Dennis said his first word!
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He did?
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Come on, honey. Say it again.
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Bleh, bleh-bleh.
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I don't say, "Bleh, bleh-bleh."
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We didn't say you did.
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-Then where did he get that?
-Bleh, bleh-bleh.
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Well, maybe sometimes you say it.
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I only say it when I say I don't say it!
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Bleh, bleh-bleh.
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Okay, kid. We get it. You can talk.
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Denisovich.
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-Dad.
-Just checking for cavities.
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-Bleh, bleh-bleh.
-Bleh, bleh-bleh.
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It was you!
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My goodness, Leonard.
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If you really looked that hideous,
I don't think I could hang out with you.
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Guys, what's the deal?
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Is this a party? Pick up a phone.
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I don't care if Johnny said it's a "cool app."
Johnny's still new here.
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Now, Porridge Head,
did you call a hearse for the Gremlinbergs?
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No, you're checking your Facebook page.
Again.
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Drac, I told the guys social media
is the best way to promote the hotel.
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Right, Clifton?
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So, Drac, I wanted to go through
some thoughts I had,
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as your new human relations
coordinating co-assistant.
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Sure. It's a real job.
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Not a cheap excuse to keep Mavis happy,
so you never leave here.
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Right. So, I was thinking,
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since we have so many humans now,
maybe update some of the acts?
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Like, maybe the magician?
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What's wrong with Harry Three-Eye?
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Well, he might be a little old-school
for the humans.
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Tell me, sir, what was your card?
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The three of spades?
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Is this your card, my friend?
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No, Harry's great.
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Can't blame Harry
for the crowd not being hip.
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Okay, what about Wayne?
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Wayne? Are you nuts? He's my boy.
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Then maybe something other than tennis?
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Okay, so, what you wanna do
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00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:37,752
is lift the racket right on impact,
so you get that nice top spin.
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Try and hit one.
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00:14:48,263 --> 00:14:50,807
What is that? What's the noise? It's on me!
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00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:52,642
It's just the cell phone I got you.
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Clifton's sending you a text
so you can practice how to write back.
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-What the... It's not doing it.
-I got it.
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Now you can text Clifton.
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All right, fine.
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-How do you do this?
-Maybe it's your fingernails.
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It's easy. Look. I'll text Mavis.
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Psyched for date night.
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See? And now look, she texted right back.
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"Gotta cancel. Can't leave Dennis."
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Okay.
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Are we never allowed to be alone again?
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I need to feel loved, too.
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And send.
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Okay. All that taught me
is that you're pathetic.
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Yeah, got it.
Maybe you should just get Bluetooth.
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00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:46,780
Okay. Blue Tooth, come over here.
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So, now what?
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Rise and shine, my Denisovich.
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Hi, Papa.
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Hello, my little devil.
Did you have sweet nightmares?
196
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:06,508
I dreamed that I saw a stegosaurus.
197
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:09,052
And were you drinking his blood?
198
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-No.
-Just throwing it out there.
199
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:15,433
-Hey! You want to do something cool?
-Yeah!
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I'm going to teach you how to turn into a bat.
Like me.
201
00:16:20,939 --> 00:16:22,899
-See?
-Cool.
202
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,901
Yes! Cool, like I said.
203
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Now you try.
204
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I'm a bat.
205
00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:31,074
I'm a bat. I'm a bat. I'm a bat.
206
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,409
I'm a bat.
207
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:36,079
-I mean, a real bat.
-I'm a bat!
208
00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:42,460
Denisovich. Take a breath.
You can really turn into a bat.
209
00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:44,921
Try. Feel the bat.
210
00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:48,758
Not a chicken.
211
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,762
What's that? The electric boogaloo?
212
00:16:52,804 --> 00:16:56,558
If I show you I can bust a move,
will you try to fly, then?
213
00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:13,992
Dad? Why are you guys dancing?
214
00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:16,786
He was sleep-dancing.
215
00:17:16,828 --> 00:17:18,329
Come on, sweetie. Back to bed.
216
00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:21,166
"Back to bed"? It's already after 8:00 p.m.
217
00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:23,084
Don't you remember the new sleep schedule?
218
00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:25,795
He's going to human classes half the day.
219
00:17:25,837 --> 00:17:29,174
If he could just sleep till 2:00 a.m. tonight,
it'd be so great for him.
220
00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:33,261
But, honeydeath, six of Wayne's wolf pups
are having a birthday party tonight.
221
00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:35,013
You wouldn't want him to miss that.
222
00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:39,309
Dad, I love the wolf pups,
but they're a little too rough for Dennis.
223
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:43,355
-"Too rough"?
-Haven't you noticed? Dennis is different.
224
00:17:43,438 --> 00:17:46,524
What are you saying?
Denisovich shouldn't be around monsters?
225
00:17:46,608 --> 00:17:49,652
I love monsters! Video! Video!
226
00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:52,197
You wanna show Papa Drac
your monster video?
227
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:53,281
Yeah!
228
00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:58,244
Who's the coolest monster?
229
00:17:58,328 --> 00:17:59,871
Kakie!
230
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:03,041
Kakie one happy monster!
231
00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:05,502
Kakie love cake! Yummy!
232
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,796
Tummy get a tummyache.
233
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,257
How is that a monster?
234
00:18:11,341 --> 00:18:13,426
Have some cake, Wuzzlelumplebum.
235
00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:17,263
Remember, kids,
a real monster always shares.
236
00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:22,060
"Shares"? Yes!
When I think monsters, I think "shares."
237
00:18:22,143 --> 00:18:25,647
Now, let me tell you
what a real monster is, Denisovich.
238
00:18:25,689 --> 00:18:30,026
Dad, please. He's practically five already.
Don't force it.
239
00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:35,824
Slow down, Wuzzlelumplebum.
240
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:44,624
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder
241
00:18:44,708 --> 00:18:46,960
Mommy, I'm too old for lullabies.
242
00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:49,379
What? That's not how that one goes.
243
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,131
This is the way most people sing it.
244
00:18:51,214 --> 00:18:53,425
"Most people"? What's wrong with...
245
00:18:53,508 --> 00:18:56,845
Suffer, suffer, scream in pain
246
00:18:56,928 --> 00:19:00,098
Blood is spilling from your brain
247
00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:02,892
-Daddy.
-Come on. You know how I sang it to you.
248
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:06,396
Zombies gnaw you like a plum
249
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:09,941
Piercing cries and you succumb
250
00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:15,071
Suffer, suffer, scream in pain
251
00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:20,493
You will never breathe again
252
00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:24,080
Still works.
253
00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:51,149
Happy birthday, Wally, Wilson, Whoopi,
Waylon, Weepy and Wanye.
254
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:55,612
Denisovich! My big boy! You made it!
255
00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:58,323
I thought about what you said, Dad.
256
00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:02,619
-Maybe I was being a little overprotective.
-Thank you, coffin cake.
257
00:20:03,453 --> 00:20:05,163
Dennis! I love you! Zing!
258
00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:06,456
Hi, Winnie.
259
00:20:06,498 --> 00:20:10,168
I just love your yummy strawberry locks!
Zing, zing!
260
00:20:12,671 --> 00:20:16,800
Winnie. Give him his space, hon.
I'm sorry, Mavis.
261
00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:19,344
It's okay, Aunt Wanda. They're just playing.
262
00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:23,390
Holy rabies! Limbo? I used to love that game!
263
00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:26,976
-Get in there, Mavey.
-Really? But I'm a parent now.
264
00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:29,979
-Show 'em how it's done.
-Okay. Okay, okay.
265
00:20:38,655 --> 00:20:40,490
No way! A piñata?
266
00:20:43,952 --> 00:20:45,870
Mavis, honey. That's for later.
267
00:20:47,706 --> 00:20:49,165
We don't want the pups to have too much...
268
00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:52,419
Candy!
269
00:20:55,171 --> 00:20:56,214
Sugar.
270
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:05,557
I'm sorry. Did I start all that?
271
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:07,892
Don't worry.
There's a reason they call it a litter.
272
00:21:19,988 --> 00:21:22,157
Dennis! Are you okay?
273
00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:25,744
-I got a candy.
-Look! Your tooth came out.
274
00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:28,371
Are you kidding me?
He got his tooth knocked out?
275
00:21:28,413 --> 00:21:31,207
Yes, indeed. Here comes the fang.
276
00:21:31,249 --> 00:21:34,711
Dad. His baby tooth wasn't a fang.
Why would this one be?
277
00:21:34,753 --> 00:21:36,588
He's not a monster.
278
00:21:41,051 --> 00:21:43,928
The sun's gonna come out soon,
and we gotta get to his classes.
279
00:21:44,012 --> 00:21:48,016
What's wrong with the classes we have here?
Like the kids' yoga?
280
00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:52,270
Yoga!
281
00:21:52,354 --> 00:21:54,522
This is Denisovich's home.
282
00:21:54,564 --> 00:21:57,275
-I don't know, Dad.
-What don't you know?
283
00:21:57,359 --> 00:22:00,904
Well, we've been talking about moving.
284
00:22:00,945 --> 00:22:03,281
Somewhere safer for Dennis.
285
00:22:03,365 --> 00:22:06,159
Maybe where Johnny grew up in California.
286
00:22:06,242 --> 00:22:10,580
I'm sorry, but you can't just
make somebody something they're not.
287
00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:15,418
-Come on, honey. We have to go.
-Zing, zing?
288
00:22:16,252 --> 00:22:19,339
Mavey, wait. You can't mean that.
289
00:22:22,634 --> 00:22:24,427
You're in on this? The leaving?
290
00:22:25,261 --> 00:22:26,971
It's not definite at all.
291
00:22:27,055 --> 00:22:28,473
It's just something
she's definitely talking about,
292
00:22:28,556 --> 00:22:31,267
but until we do it, it's not definitized.
293
00:22:34,312 --> 00:22:36,523
Did he just cover me with birdseed?
294
00:22:37,232 --> 00:22:38,608
Yeah, he covered me.
295
00:22:48,910 --> 00:22:51,329
Dad, it's not a fang.
296
00:22:51,413 --> 00:22:54,874
Dad, I don't know
if it's the right place for Dennis.
297
00:22:54,958 --> 00:22:56,292
Right, Johnny?
298
00:22:56,334 --> 00:22:59,879
Hey, dudeman. It's not me. It's Mavey.
299
00:22:59,963 --> 00:23:03,133
Hey, dudeman. I'm afraid to say anything.
300
00:23:03,299 --> 00:23:05,677
Hey, dudeman. I'm a dudeman!
301
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,013
Drac? Who you talkin' to?
302
00:23:08,096 --> 00:23:10,640
Do not disturb.
The count's wiggin' out in here.
303
00:23:11,641 --> 00:23:13,476
What are you wiggin' out about, Drac?
304
00:23:13,518 --> 00:23:16,646
The kids.
Mavey Wavey's saying she wants to leave.
305
00:23:16,688 --> 00:23:19,649
She wants to leave? What about Johnny?
He doesn't wanna go.
306
00:23:19,691 --> 00:23:22,110
He's making the hotel more human-y
for Dennis.
307
00:23:22,152 --> 00:23:23,987
You know, seeing that he isn't a monster.
308
00:23:24,195 --> 00:23:25,613
He is a monster!
309
00:23:25,655 --> 00:23:27,032
He's just a late fanger.
310
00:23:27,824 --> 00:23:29,159
And I could be a hand model.
311
00:23:29,242 --> 00:23:33,997
Shut up! It's all that human-y stuff
that's confusing poor Denisovich.
312
00:23:34,998 --> 00:23:38,460
So maybe you gotta get the kid
around more monster-y things.
313
00:23:38,668 --> 00:23:40,170
I need a cape.
314
00:23:40,337 --> 00:23:43,631
I can't. She's always around,
checking up on me.
315
00:23:43,673 --> 00:23:47,010
Man, if you could just get some alone time.
316
00:23:47,052 --> 00:23:49,804
Wait a minute.
That's what Johnny wants, too.
317
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:53,016
Alone time with Mavis.
318
00:23:55,226 --> 00:23:59,105
Have they even had a vacation
since before they were married?
319
00:24:01,983 --> 00:24:05,737
They're going to now. And so are we.
Frank, you're a genius.
320
00:24:22,212 --> 00:24:24,964
We'll take Denisovich to all our old haunts.
321
00:24:25,590 --> 00:24:28,134
Each of us will show him our skills.
322
00:24:30,387 --> 00:24:32,722
Teach him how to be a monster.
323
00:24:34,933 --> 00:24:37,519
And he'll be fanging it up in no time.
324
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,312
Boy turns five next week.
325
00:24:39,396 --> 00:24:42,065
If he's not a vampire by his birthday,
it ain't happenin'.
326
00:24:42,232 --> 00:24:44,484
It ain't ain't happening, baby.
327
00:24:44,567 --> 00:24:47,153
All he needs is time with his vampa.
328
00:24:47,237 --> 00:24:49,864
-"Vampa"?
-Vampire grandpa.
329
00:24:49,906 --> 00:24:52,117
Come on, man. That's obvious.
330
00:24:54,244 --> 00:24:58,665
-Johnny. Come outside.
-What? Who is it?
331
00:24:58,748 --> 00:25:01,584
It's your father-in-law. I need to talk to you.
332
00:25:03,086 --> 00:25:04,421
What's up?
333
00:25:05,964 --> 00:25:08,049
Let me get rid of them. Sorry.
334
00:25:08,091 --> 00:25:11,344
No problem-o.
I was kinda diggin' the attention.
335
00:25:13,430 --> 00:25:16,433
Can they stay?
I don't think they're ready to leave yet.
336
00:25:16,474 --> 00:25:18,476
Come on. Go to your mother.
337
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:21,396
-Look, you want to stay here, right?
-Of course.
338
00:25:21,438 --> 00:25:24,024
This is the first place
where I can really be myself.
339
00:25:24,107 --> 00:25:27,569
I haven't felt this alive
since they invented stuffed-crust pizza.
340
00:25:27,610 --> 00:25:31,448
Well, then, we've got some work to do.
Okay, so here's the plan.
341
00:25:32,073 --> 00:25:34,743
Maybe it's a good idea
to take her to your hometown.
342
00:25:34,784 --> 00:25:36,286
But remember...
343
00:25:36,953 --> 00:25:39,789
So, it's sliced avocado,
rolled oats with apricot,
344
00:25:39,831 --> 00:25:42,125
the Aveeno moisturizer after every bath.
345
00:25:42,208 --> 00:25:45,587
And then the shea butter
on his tush before his PJs
346
00:25:45,628 --> 00:25:47,964
and then 20 minutes with the nebulizer
347
00:25:48,006 --> 00:25:51,343
while I read
his Learning Factory Phonics book to him.
348
00:25:51,426 --> 00:25:54,763
It's asking a lot, Dad.
We could just take Dennis with us.
349
00:25:54,804 --> 00:25:58,141
What? Are you kidding me?
And get him off his routine?
350
00:25:58,183 --> 00:25:59,392
No, no, no.
351
00:25:59,476 --> 00:26:01,061
You kids go to California,
352
00:26:01,144 --> 00:26:03,938
and see if it's the right place
to raise Denisovich.
353
00:26:03,980 --> 00:26:05,482
And you remember how to video chat?
354
00:26:05,565 --> 00:26:08,693
Yes, yes. With the phone and the buttons
and the agony.
355
00:26:08,777 --> 00:26:12,697
Thanks for being so understanding, Dad.
I know you'll keep him safe.
356
00:26:12,781 --> 00:26:16,451
Of course, Mavey.
Stake my heart and hope to die.
357
00:26:16,493 --> 00:26:18,870
I'm just gonna miss him so much.
358
00:26:19,829 --> 00:26:22,999
-I love you, Dennis.
-I love you, Mommy.
359
00:26:23,208 --> 00:26:26,711
I'll tell him Mavey Wavey stories
every night before bed.
360
00:26:26,795 --> 00:26:29,130
You're the best. I love you, Dad.
361
00:26:32,050 --> 00:26:35,011
Gonna miss all you guys.
You're all my family.
362
00:26:35,512 --> 00:26:39,683
-Love you, Drac.
-Yes. I love you, too.
363
00:26:39,724 --> 00:26:43,395
Now, remember the plan.
Just keep her distracted and happy.
364
00:26:43,478 --> 00:26:46,022
-But not too happy, capisce?
-Got it.
365
00:26:46,106 --> 00:26:48,566
Operation
"Just Keep Her Distracted and Happy,
366
00:26:48,650 --> 00:26:52,195
"But Not Too Happy, Capisce,"
starts now. Cool?
367
00:26:52,237 --> 00:26:53,822
Smiling on the outside.
368
00:26:53,863 --> 00:26:56,032
-Will you hug my backpack?
-No.
369
00:27:02,580 --> 00:27:04,249
Back to bed.
370
00:27:04,332 --> 00:27:07,377
Yes, we'll get to the bed. We all love the bed.
371
00:27:07,419 --> 00:27:10,171
But we're just gonna do one thing first.
372
00:27:13,675 --> 00:27:15,301
Is it shorts weather where we're going?
373
00:27:15,385 --> 00:27:18,304
I hope not. My body isn't swimsuit-ready yet.
374
00:27:18,388 --> 00:27:20,432
Whatever. Where's Griffin?
375
00:27:20,515 --> 00:27:22,934
Hey, can I have a second?
I'm just saying goodbye to Emily.
376
00:27:23,018 --> 00:27:24,269
Brother.
377
00:27:24,477 --> 00:27:27,022
I'm gonna miss you so much.
378
00:27:27,063 --> 00:27:31,568
You know, you have to be strong, honey.
Because what we have is unbreakable.
379
00:27:32,777 --> 00:27:35,655
Babe, don't cry. Everyone's looking.
380
00:27:35,739 --> 00:27:37,282
Okay, I gotta call him on this.
381
00:27:37,365 --> 00:27:39,909
Just let him play it out, get it over with.
382
00:27:39,951 --> 00:27:44,581
Okay, you two lovebirds.
Drink your champagne and let's get going.
383
00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:47,334
Yeah. No, sure. Okay.
384
00:27:47,417 --> 00:27:48,626
Cheers, babe.
385
00:27:50,462 --> 00:27:52,297
You klutz.
386
00:27:52,797 --> 00:27:56,593
-We can't say nothin' about this?
-No. We don't have time for zingers.
387
00:28:04,601 --> 00:28:08,104
How do you click in the stupid car seat?
388
00:28:08,146 --> 00:28:09,731
You gotta cut those nails, man.
389
00:28:09,773 --> 00:28:11,941
We just strap our kids down with duct tape.
390
00:28:16,654 --> 00:28:17,655
What's he doing here?
391
00:28:17,739 --> 00:28:21,117
I told him he could come.
He's never been outside the hotel.
392
00:28:21,159 --> 00:28:23,912
Blobby, there's no room. Sorry, man.
393
00:28:26,498 --> 00:28:28,083
Yeah, that ain't happenin'.
394
00:28:28,124 --> 00:28:31,169
Fine, put him on the Rascal.
Let's just get going.
395
00:28:45,684 --> 00:28:48,061
Where are we going, Papa Drac?
396
00:28:48,144 --> 00:28:50,814
Denisovich, we're going to have
an adventure.
397
00:28:50,855 --> 00:28:52,816
A monster-y adventure.
398
00:28:52,899 --> 00:28:55,985
Monsters! We're gonna eat cake.
399
00:28:56,027 --> 00:28:59,864
-What did he say?
-No. No cake on this monster trip.
400
00:28:59,948 --> 00:29:04,327
No cake, cebause Kakie says,
"Too much cake makes tummy ache.
401
00:29:05,787 --> 00:29:07,497
"A monster always shares."
402
00:29:10,291 --> 00:29:12,502
We may need more than a week.
403
00:29:12,544 --> 00:29:15,588
Hey, you know who could fix the kid
in a snap? Vlad.
404
00:29:15,672 --> 00:29:18,675
What? We don't need to call Vlad.
We got this.
405
00:29:19,134 --> 00:29:23,680
You see, Denisovich,
monsters are nice, just like you.
406
00:29:23,722 --> 00:29:28,268
But when the moon comes out,
the real monster fun begins.
407
00:29:28,893 --> 00:29:31,855
Being scary. Right, guys?
408
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:38,570
Guys? Guys! What is wrong with you?
409
00:29:38,653 --> 00:29:40,697
Come on. Everybody likes that song.
410
00:29:40,780 --> 00:29:44,409
We're not everybody.
We're scary monsters. Remember?
411
00:29:44,743 --> 00:29:47,537
-Hey, what are you putting in?
-It's an audio book.
412
00:29:47,579 --> 00:29:50,999
Bigfoot's life story. He reads it himself.
413
00:29:51,082 --> 00:29:52,500
Chapter One.
414
00:30:26,159 --> 00:30:27,869
This is gonna be so amazing.
415
00:30:27,911 --> 00:30:31,414
Yeah. You're gonna be so happy,
but not too happy.
416
00:30:31,456 --> 00:30:34,918
-What?
-I wanna see everything you did growing up.
417
00:30:35,085 --> 00:30:37,754
As long as you're distracted, capisce?
418
00:30:39,089 --> 00:30:40,924
We can hit a few spots
on the way to my parents.
419
00:30:41,007 --> 00:30:43,968
-Lemme just quickly call home.
-Don't do that.
420
00:30:44,052 --> 00:30:46,846
It's only 1:00 a.m. there.
Dennis isn't even up yet.
421
00:30:46,930 --> 00:30:50,058
Right. I'm just not used to
being away from him.
422
00:30:50,100 --> 00:30:53,061
Everything's gonna be cool.
Your dad was so all over it.
423
00:30:53,103 --> 00:30:55,271
I know. He's the best.
424
00:31:15,625 --> 00:31:17,252
Right turn, here.
425
00:31:18,044 --> 00:31:20,755
Denisovich, rise and shine.
426
00:31:21,381 --> 00:31:23,800
Boys, this bringing back any memories?
427
00:31:23,883 --> 00:31:27,303
We used to prowl around here
when we were in our 100s.
428
00:31:27,387 --> 00:31:30,974
The Dark Forest of Slobozia.
429
00:31:40,316 --> 00:31:43,570
-Nice how they built it up.
-Okay, out of the car.
430
00:31:43,987 --> 00:31:48,992
Denisovich, you're going to see
every monster do his specialty.
431
00:31:49,117 --> 00:31:52,996
First, Frank's gonna show us
how he scares people.
432
00:31:53,747 --> 00:31:58,084
-He's gonna say, "Boo."
-Yeah, I don't think "boos" ever work.
433
00:31:58,168 --> 00:32:01,755
But that's why we're here.
To learn from the master.
434
00:32:02,589 --> 00:32:04,591
Okay, I'll give it a shot.
435
00:32:20,106 --> 00:32:22,025
Yeah, guess it just depends on work.
436
00:32:24,152 --> 00:32:25,195
Frankenstein!
437
00:32:25,820 --> 00:32:27,280
Hey, how ya doin'?
438
00:32:27,697 --> 00:32:30,700
You're awesome! Can we take a picture?
Is that okay?
439
00:32:30,742 --> 00:32:33,119
Sure, okay. Little selfie action.
440
00:32:34,329 --> 00:32:35,372
For real?
441
00:32:35,997 --> 00:32:39,042
-Awesome! Thank you so much.
-Hey, have a great day.
442
00:32:39,626 --> 00:32:40,710
Boo!
443
00:32:40,794 --> 00:32:43,213
-He's adorable.
-He's adorable.
444
00:32:43,380 --> 00:32:45,131
Adorable, yes.
445
00:32:45,215 --> 00:32:48,468
Not scary, but "boo" is a start.
446
00:32:58,895 --> 00:33:01,940
My birthday cake's
gonna have the coolest guy on it.
447
00:33:02,023 --> 00:33:04,067
Let me guess. Kakie.
448
00:33:04,150 --> 00:33:08,029
No. He's so cool.
He climbs walls and wears a cape.
449
00:33:08,071 --> 00:33:11,241
Really. And who is this very cool guy?
450
00:33:11,324 --> 00:33:14,619
-Batman!
-Batman. Great.
451
00:33:14,703 --> 00:33:18,081
You don't know anyone else
with a cape that's cool?
452
00:33:18,123 --> 00:33:19,416
This is good. Stop here.
453
00:33:25,088 --> 00:33:28,550
Okay, Wayne. It's your turn.
Go kill something.
454
00:33:28,591 --> 00:33:29,968
Denisovich, watch this.
455
00:33:30,051 --> 00:33:32,303
-What?
-I told you, come on.
456
00:33:32,387 --> 00:33:36,433
If we don't inspire Denisovich,
how's he going to find his inner monster?
457
00:33:36,516 --> 00:33:39,352
-Who's in a monster?
-Nobody, just...
458
00:33:39,436 --> 00:33:41,104
Here, have an avocado.
459
00:33:41,646 --> 00:33:45,692
Your mommy says it's a good fat.
Whatever the heaven that means.
460
00:33:45,775 --> 00:33:47,777
Listen, I'm not gonna
set monsters back again
461
00:33:47,861 --> 00:33:50,280
just to make your grandkid like vampires.
462
00:33:50,363 --> 00:33:53,283
Anyway, there's nothing to kill here.
It's all been...
463
00:33:57,412 --> 00:33:58,955
What a cutie.
464
00:33:59,414 --> 00:34:00,623
But kill him.
465
00:34:01,416 --> 00:34:04,294
Great. You know I haven't done this in years.
466
00:34:04,377 --> 00:34:07,255
We don't need to kill anymore.
We have Pop-Tarts.
467
00:34:07,297 --> 00:34:09,382
Denisovich, you're going to love this.
468
00:34:09,466 --> 00:34:13,094
Wayne's going to eat that whole deer,
and the next one's yours.
469
00:34:13,136 --> 00:34:14,262
Wayne, go.
470
00:34:18,641 --> 00:34:21,019
Man. I'm too old for this.
471
00:34:21,102 --> 00:34:23,146
Okay, how's it go again?
472
00:34:24,647 --> 00:34:26,316
No, no, wait. That's for the moon.
473
00:34:26,399 --> 00:34:28,818
I growl. Right, here goes.
474
00:34:30,820 --> 00:34:33,156
-Growl!
-Get it, boy.
475
00:34:38,661 --> 00:34:40,413
Get it, Uncle Wayne.
476
00:34:42,332 --> 00:34:46,503
Some werewolf.
Did you actually say the word "growl?"
477
00:34:46,544 --> 00:34:49,673
-You're a werewussy.
-I said I was rusty.
478
00:34:51,174 --> 00:34:54,094
-Gimme me that Frisbee.
-No! It's my Frisbee! I fetched it!
479
00:34:54,177 --> 00:34:55,387
Give it to me! Give it back!
480
00:34:55,762 --> 00:34:58,723
Give it over here! Give me that! Give it back!
481
00:35:04,104 --> 00:35:06,064
He's fine. He's Blobby.
482
00:35:08,316 --> 00:35:11,236
This place is so amazing and scenic.
483
00:35:11,319 --> 00:35:13,863
-What do you wanna show me first?
-I don't know.
484
00:35:13,947 --> 00:35:16,950
It's pretty, but there's really nothing to do
once it gets dark.
485
00:35:17,033 --> 00:35:18,702
Wait. What's that place?
486
00:35:22,789 --> 00:35:27,002
So, you're telling me that I can pick
between all these different kinds of chips?
487
00:35:27,752 --> 00:35:28,753
Yes.
488
00:35:28,837 --> 00:35:30,922
How do people decide?
489
00:35:32,507 --> 00:35:35,719
Now what's that beautiful fountain of rubies?
490
00:35:36,594 --> 00:35:40,557
-Johnny, have you tried this Slurpée?
-Not that quickly, hon.
491
00:35:40,598 --> 00:35:44,269
It comes in 48 flavors.
We have to try them all.
492
00:35:47,105 --> 00:35:48,815
I don't know if we have time.
493
00:35:48,898 --> 00:35:51,943
Why? This place is open all night. Right, sir?
494
00:35:52,068 --> 00:35:53,111
Yes.
495
00:35:57,574 --> 00:35:58,575
Johnny, look.
496
00:35:58,658 --> 00:36:02,120
They're making a TV show about this place
and we're the stars.
497
00:36:02,203 --> 00:36:04,789
-Hello, world.
-Awesome.
498
00:36:04,873 --> 00:36:08,877
It's totally awesome. You're so lucky, Kal.
499
00:36:09,586 --> 00:36:11,379
Hello, world.
500
00:36:14,674 --> 00:36:16,885
Okay, Murray. Your turn.
501
00:36:17,802 --> 00:36:21,097
Excuse us. Do you know where someone
can get a bite around here?
502
00:36:21,181 --> 00:36:24,225
Did you seriously just ask a vampire
where to get a bite?
503
00:36:24,726 --> 00:36:27,103
Gosh. I didn't mean...
We're not from around here.
504
00:36:27,187 --> 00:36:29,689
This is so embarrassing. Just keep going.
505
00:36:29,773 --> 00:36:32,108
Sorry to bother you.
Love your chocolate cereal.
506
00:36:35,195 --> 00:36:36,988
So, what do you want me to do now?
507
00:36:37,072 --> 00:36:38,865
Denisovich, you won't believe it.
508
00:36:38,948 --> 00:36:43,161
The mummy can crash through walls
and turn into a swarm of beetles
509
00:36:43,453 --> 00:36:45,622
and put a curse on anyone.
510
00:36:45,705 --> 00:36:48,792
-That sounds mean.
-It's fun mean. Okay.
511
00:36:48,875 --> 00:36:50,126
So, check it out.
512
00:36:50,210 --> 00:36:55,131
Murray's going to conjure up
the biggest sandstorm you've ever seen.
513
00:36:55,215 --> 00:36:58,259
-Hit it!
-Sandstorm? It's been awhile.
514
00:36:58,301 --> 00:37:02,681
-Not my problem. Do it. Say your little spell.
-Okay.
515
00:37:03,682 --> 00:37:07,268
I got this.
Frank, Wayne, Griffin, just try not to faint.
516
00:37:29,416 --> 00:37:30,667
My back.
517
00:37:40,010 --> 00:37:41,136
Wait.
518
00:37:47,350 --> 00:37:48,685
How cute!
519
00:37:55,567 --> 00:37:59,320
Wait. Stop at that playground.
Look at these cute kids.
520
00:38:05,660 --> 00:38:08,705
Holy rabies! This looks like a blast.
521
00:38:08,788 --> 00:38:09,873
I don't know, Mavey.
522
00:38:09,956 --> 00:38:13,043
This can be pretty dangerous
if you don't know what you're doing.
523
00:38:13,126 --> 00:38:14,878
Of course, I rock these bikes.
524
00:38:14,919 --> 00:38:16,463
May I, little dude?
525
00:38:17,130 --> 00:38:19,549
Check it out. Yeah.
526
00:38:19,591 --> 00:38:22,093
This is how I rolled every summer.
527
00:38:36,316 --> 00:38:37,650
I think I scratched it.
528
00:38:38,902 --> 00:38:39,903
My turn.
529
00:38:39,986 --> 00:38:43,448
Mavey, I told you,
it took me years to get this good.
530
00:38:43,531 --> 00:38:45,658
Well, I'll give it a try.
531
00:39:24,364 --> 00:39:27,283
You feel me now?
That's my girlfriend, suckers.
532
00:39:27,367 --> 00:39:30,161
-Your wife, Johnny.
-My wife. Even better.
533
00:39:30,286 --> 00:39:34,207
That was sick, lady.
Where did you learn how to do that stuff?
534
00:39:34,290 --> 00:39:35,458
Transylvania.
535
00:39:35,500 --> 00:39:38,712
That's cool.
I have a cousin from Pennsylvania.
536
00:39:38,795 --> 00:39:42,465
These little guys are so sweet.
Dennis would love them.
537
00:39:42,590 --> 00:39:46,469
-What an awesome place to raise a kid.
-To raise a kid?
538
00:39:46,511 --> 00:39:48,304
I don't know about awesome.
539
00:39:48,346 --> 00:39:51,307
Maybe tubular. Capisce?
540
00:39:51,391 --> 00:39:53,143
Anyways, we should hit my folks' place.
541
00:39:53,184 --> 00:39:55,353
-I said we'd be there by now.
-Sure.
542
00:39:55,437 --> 00:39:59,983
Hey, it's after 3:00 in Transylvania.
I'm gonna check on Dennis, okay?
543
00:40:04,612 --> 00:40:07,198
Chocolate cereal. Are you kidding me?
544
00:40:07,323 --> 00:40:11,995
-It's okay, Drac. It's 'cause they love us.
-Yeah. Monsters are what's goin' on.
545
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:14,164
Yeah. You should embrace it like I did.
546
00:40:14,205 --> 00:40:16,166
I've got a best-selling workout video.
547
00:40:16,207 --> 00:40:19,002
Follow me, ladies. Right. And left.
548
00:40:19,085 --> 00:40:21,755
No, girls. Watch me. You're not watching.
549
00:40:21,838 --> 00:40:24,841
Here we go. And eight and seven and six...
550
00:40:24,883 --> 00:40:26,301
That's not me, guys.
551
00:40:26,343 --> 00:40:29,679
Come on, even Bigfoot's tearin' it up
in the German soccer league.
552
00:40:38,688 --> 00:40:40,357
No. No, no, no.
553
00:40:40,398 --> 00:40:42,776
-It's Mavis.
-You gotta answer it.
554
00:40:43,818 --> 00:40:47,364
-You're pushin' too hard. Lighter.
-All right!
555
00:40:47,405 --> 00:40:50,575
Denisovich, wake up. Boy, he's out cold.
556
00:40:50,658 --> 00:40:52,035
I got this.
557
00:40:54,621 --> 00:40:56,956
-Dad, what took so long?
-What?
558
00:40:57,040 --> 00:41:00,585
Nothing, Mavey.
We're all great here at the hotel.
559
00:41:00,669 --> 00:41:02,545
Just doing hotel things.
560
00:41:02,587 --> 00:41:05,382
-Sorry, can't handle your breath.
-I hear ya.
561
00:41:05,674 --> 00:41:08,301
-How are you?
-We're having a blast.
562
00:41:08,385 --> 00:41:12,055
We just went biking and mini-marting.
It's so fun here.
563
00:41:12,555 --> 00:41:15,266
-Is Dennis okay?
-Of course.
564
00:41:15,350 --> 00:41:18,895
-You want to see him?
-Yes. Yes, I do.
565
00:41:18,978 --> 00:41:21,898
-Hi, baby. How are you?
-Mommy.
566
00:41:21,940 --> 00:41:23,024
I happy.
567
00:41:24,776 --> 00:41:27,946
-Hey, little dude.
-Why is he wearing sunglasses?
568
00:41:28,029 --> 00:41:30,073
We were playing.
569
00:41:30,240 --> 00:41:32,826
It's a superhero thing.
570
00:41:32,909 --> 00:41:36,246
Cebause, I'm Sunglasses Man, to the rescue!
571
00:41:36,287 --> 00:41:38,164
-Okay, take it down a notch.
-I'm flying.
572
00:41:38,248 --> 00:41:43,003
-You sound funny.
-No, no, that's his Sunglasses Man voice.
573
00:41:43,586 --> 00:41:46,965
Static. The signal is bad.
Mavis, are you there?
574
00:41:47,799 --> 00:41:49,134
Yeah, I'm still...
575
00:41:50,176 --> 00:41:54,431
-All right. I guess he's having fun.
-Of course he is.
576
00:41:56,558 --> 00:42:00,812
I nailed it with the Sunglasses Man.
Right off the top of my head.
577
00:42:00,895 --> 00:42:02,772
I threw in a "cebause."
Did everyone see that?
578
00:42:02,814 --> 00:42:05,483
She said she was having fun.
Johnny's blowing it.
579
00:42:05,567 --> 00:42:08,737
She's biking and mini-marting.
She's gonna wanna move!
580
00:42:08,778 --> 00:42:11,948
I gotta fix this kid now.
Are we almost there or what?
581
00:42:11,990 --> 00:42:15,618
Okay, I may have taken a wrong turn
a few miles back.
582
00:42:15,702 --> 00:42:17,662
-Don't get mad.
-What?
583
00:42:19,330 --> 00:42:21,583
Someone turn on the navigator on this thing.
584
00:42:21,624 --> 00:42:23,626
Look how light I touch it.
585
00:42:23,710 --> 00:42:26,796
Please enter your destination.
586
00:42:26,838 --> 00:42:30,675
Please. I am begging you.
587
00:42:33,094 --> 00:42:35,555
Yeah, this is gonna be good, Denisovich.
588
00:42:35,638 --> 00:42:38,350
Scary stuff, okay? It's in you.
589
00:42:38,433 --> 00:42:41,186
We just gotta concentrate on the scary.
590
00:42:41,269 --> 00:42:44,064
Papa Drac? Do you miss Grandma?
591
00:42:44,147 --> 00:42:47,025
Miss Grandma? Sure, I do.
592
00:42:47,108 --> 00:42:51,571
I miss her every day. She was my zing.
593
00:42:52,364 --> 00:42:55,325
-Why do you ask?
-I don't know.
594
00:42:55,367 --> 00:42:59,329
-Do you miss anybody?
-I miss Mommy and Daddy.
595
00:42:59,371 --> 00:43:01,998
And who else? You miss that Winnie?
596
00:43:02,082 --> 00:43:05,502
The pup who tackles you
and tries to lick you all the time?
597
00:43:05,543 --> 00:43:07,712
Yeah, but we're just friends.
598
00:43:07,796 --> 00:43:10,382
No, no, no. You're a Dracula.
599
00:43:10,465 --> 00:43:14,177
You can't just be friends
with a cute, hairy number like Winnie.
600
00:43:14,260 --> 00:43:20,058
Right turn, now! Here. You imbecile!
601
00:43:20,141 --> 00:43:22,769
-Right. Turn, Griffin!
-Yes, Papa Drac.
602
00:43:27,357 --> 00:43:31,903
Wait and see, fellas.
This kid'll be guzzling goat blood in no time.
603
00:43:31,986 --> 00:43:35,865
You have arrived at your destination. Yes!
604
00:43:35,990 --> 00:43:37,409
-Yes!
-Here we are.
605
00:43:37,492 --> 00:43:40,120
It's the vampire summer camp
I went to as a kid.
606
00:43:40,203 --> 00:43:44,874
-What's it, Camp Vamp?
-No. Who names their camp "Camp Vamp?"
607
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:47,335
It's Camp Winnepacaca.
608
00:44:07,647 --> 00:44:09,149
You see, Denisovich?
609
00:44:09,232 --> 00:44:13,111
This is where I learned
to catch mice and shapeshift.
610
00:44:13,194 --> 00:44:17,323
And use my incredible powers and strength.
It's pretty cool.
611
00:44:17,407 --> 00:44:18,491
Badminton.
612
00:44:22,662 --> 00:44:25,915
Yes, I don't remember this badminting.
613
00:44:25,999 --> 00:44:29,085
Well, well, is this a night?
How ya doin', folks?
614
00:44:29,127 --> 00:44:30,754
I'm Dana, the director.
615
00:44:30,795 --> 00:44:33,590
We're sure excited
to have you legends visitin' us.
616
00:44:33,673 --> 00:44:35,091
What can I do you for?
617
00:44:35,175 --> 00:44:40,263
Well, I'm very interested
in sending my grandboy, Denisovich, here.
618
00:44:40,347 --> 00:44:44,434
This little redheaded, non-fangy little guy?
619
00:44:44,517 --> 00:44:48,313
They're in there. He's a late fanger.
That's why we came here.
620
00:44:48,396 --> 00:44:52,484
Can you show us some of the drills,
like where they catch the mice?
621
00:44:52,567 --> 00:44:56,071
Can do.
A-course now we call it Tee-Mousing.
622
00:45:06,748 --> 00:45:09,042
So they don't have to catch the mice?
623
00:45:09,125 --> 00:45:13,129
Nope. We find this is a good way
to build their confidence.
624
00:45:14,881 --> 00:45:15,965
Come here.
625
00:45:16,966 --> 00:45:19,010
It's right there! What's the matter with you?
626
00:45:20,762 --> 00:45:22,097
Hokey-pokey.
627
00:45:24,891 --> 00:45:28,395
There it is, Denisovich.
Where Papa learned to fly.
628
00:45:28,812 --> 00:45:30,814
I wanna fly like Papa.
629
00:45:37,153 --> 00:45:39,239
Yeah. We're over here, now.
630
00:45:40,198 --> 00:45:43,118
Had to scale it down. Insurance.
631
00:45:46,621 --> 00:45:48,289
Help me. Help me. Help me.
632
00:45:48,832 --> 00:45:52,127
Hokey-pokey. See ya at the campfire.
633
00:45:56,756 --> 00:46:00,510
-Well, gosh! Welcome, you two.
-Hey, gang.
634
00:46:00,677 --> 00:46:03,346
Hi, guys. This is so exciting.
635
00:46:04,014 --> 00:46:07,600
Look at all of this. So cool.
636
00:46:07,684 --> 00:46:11,521
-I can't believe I'm actually here.
-Well, you are.
637
00:46:11,563 --> 00:46:15,191
Now, how does it work?
Are you up all night and sleep all day?
638
00:46:15,275 --> 00:46:16,359
Yeah.
639
00:46:16,401 --> 00:46:18,862
-I'll do whatever you guys want.
-Good.
640
00:46:18,903 --> 00:46:21,531
-'Cause I bought this pretty sunhat for you.
-Linda.
641
00:46:21,573 --> 00:46:23,700
But otherwise this poncho,
if you wanna be safe.
642
00:46:23,742 --> 00:46:26,828
-We can deal with it later, Linda.
-Okay.
643
00:46:27,537 --> 00:46:28,705
Come see.
644
00:46:29,414 --> 00:46:31,041
I've set up your bedroom.
645
00:46:35,211 --> 00:46:38,006
It's just like Transylvania.
646
00:46:38,298 --> 00:46:41,593
Transylvania. That was a fun experience.
647
00:46:41,676 --> 00:46:43,887
Mike was afraid he'd get
disemboweled and eaten,
648
00:46:43,928 --> 00:46:45,805
but I told him he was just being silly.
649
00:46:45,889 --> 00:46:47,599
That was you, Linda.
650
00:46:48,141 --> 00:46:49,476
There they are.
651
00:46:49,559 --> 00:46:52,604
You know, we have a couple
of mixed families in the neighborhood,
652
00:46:52,687 --> 00:46:54,647
so I thought I'd invite them over.
653
00:46:54,731 --> 00:46:58,860
They might be nice for you guys to talk to
since you're thinkin' about moving here.
654
00:47:00,362 --> 00:47:02,405
Hi, Caren. Hi, Pandragora.
655
00:47:02,489 --> 00:47:04,407
-Welcome, Mavis.
-Hey, guys.
656
00:47:05,533 --> 00:47:08,703
Yeah, you're gonna dig it here.
Don't even worry.
657
00:47:08,745 --> 00:47:11,956
People are totally cool
with our lifestyle choice.
658
00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:15,251
I mean, the kids get picked on a little,
but it toughens them up.
659
00:47:15,752 --> 00:47:17,587
Hey, you guys. And this is Loretta.
660
00:47:17,671 --> 00:47:21,049
-She's married to Paul, who's a werewolf.
-Excuse me?
661
00:47:21,091 --> 00:47:24,803
Yes, I was telling Mavis about
the other monster-human couples in town.
662
00:47:25,136 --> 00:47:29,057
-I am not a werewolf.
-I thought...
663
00:47:29,224 --> 00:47:32,560
Well, you're welcome to stay
and have some cupcakes.
664
00:47:35,605 --> 00:47:39,818
Vampires will be friends forever
665
00:47:39,901 --> 00:47:43,947
Through the centuries together
666
00:47:44,030 --> 00:47:48,284
Even in the brightest sunny weather
667
00:47:48,326 --> 00:47:52,706
Vampires will be friends forever
668
00:47:52,789 --> 00:47:56,167
Literally
669
00:47:56,251 --> 00:47:59,754
Forever
670
00:48:03,216 --> 00:48:07,053
Great job, vampires. Give yourselves a hug.
671
00:48:12,308 --> 00:48:14,352
-We're going.
-What? Where?
672
00:48:20,775 --> 00:48:21,985
Why are we doing this?
673
00:48:22,068 --> 00:48:24,738
You'd rather be listening
to those putrid new songs?
674
00:48:24,821 --> 00:48:27,240
What happened to
Michael Row Your Corpse Ashore?
675
00:48:27,323 --> 00:48:30,035
Or Old McWerewolf Had An Axe?
676
00:48:35,331 --> 00:48:37,167
We shouldn't be up here, Drac.
677
00:48:37,208 --> 00:48:41,379
-Who's ready to fly?
-Me! Me! Like a superhero.
678
00:48:41,463 --> 00:48:43,590
Better! Like a vampire!
679
00:48:44,341 --> 00:48:45,842
This thing is rickety.
680
00:48:45,884 --> 00:48:48,053
You know what?
Maybe the kid isn't supposed to fly.
681
00:48:48,136 --> 00:48:52,015
Quiet. This is how they learn.
You throw them and they figure it out.
682
00:48:52,849 --> 00:48:55,685
-It's how I was taught.
-I wanna fly now!
683
00:48:55,727 --> 00:48:59,189
Attabat. You know Papa's right here
if you need him.
684
00:49:00,148 --> 00:49:02,233
-I can't watch this.
-Please don't.
685
00:49:02,317 --> 00:49:04,903
Here we go!
686
00:49:11,201 --> 00:49:13,828
-He's still not flying.
-He will.
687
00:49:15,038 --> 00:49:17,540
-Still not.
-It'll happen.
688
00:49:18,541 --> 00:49:21,419
-This is a tall tower.
-That's why it's good.
689
00:49:21,503 --> 00:49:24,005
-You should get him.
-He's gonna fall to his death.
690
00:49:24,047 --> 00:49:26,007
He's taking his time.
691
00:49:27,384 --> 00:49:30,220
-Drac!
-I did that my first time.
692
00:49:30,720 --> 00:49:32,764
He's getting too close to the ground!
693
00:49:33,682 --> 00:49:35,517
You know what? He's not gonna fly.
694
00:49:45,735 --> 00:49:49,072
I told you. Papa's always here for you.
695
00:49:49,114 --> 00:49:50,657
Again! Again!
696
00:49:50,907 --> 00:49:54,077
Dear. My devil.
We're gonna have to report this.
697
00:49:54,119 --> 00:49:55,412
You mean to the papers?
698
00:49:55,453 --> 00:49:59,040
I guess it was pretty cool,
but I'm not about getting press.
699
00:49:59,082 --> 00:50:04,087
No, sir. I mean the authorities.
I can't not report child endangerment.
700
00:50:04,129 --> 00:50:06,798
Listen to me. That was fun.
701
00:50:06,881 --> 00:50:09,384
Your singing is child endangerment.
702
00:50:09,426 --> 00:50:11,136
Should we go down and help him?
703
00:50:11,219 --> 00:50:14,097
Nope. I told him this was nuts.
He's on his own.
704
00:50:14,180 --> 00:50:17,475
-We have to call the boy's mother.
-No, that ain't happening.
705
00:50:17,559 --> 00:50:20,228
His mother's already nutsy koo koo!
706
00:50:20,270 --> 00:50:22,439
I have to follow protocol.
707
00:50:22,772 --> 00:50:26,234
You will not follow protocol.
708
00:50:26,276 --> 00:50:28,737
I'm a vampire. I can't be hypnotized.
709
00:50:29,404 --> 00:50:32,949
-Right.
-Now, please. Don't make me call the police.
710
00:50:33,033 --> 00:50:35,035
No one's calling nobody!
711
00:50:37,954 --> 00:50:42,208
-Fire!
-Stop, drop and roll. Stop, drop and roll.
712
00:50:42,292 --> 00:50:43,668
Screaming's not helping!
713
00:50:52,427 --> 00:50:54,387
Are we bad guys, Papa Drac?
714
00:50:54,929 --> 00:50:55,972
Bad?
715
00:50:57,474 --> 00:51:00,143
No. You're the best kid in the world.
716
00:51:00,185 --> 00:51:03,480
We didn't start the fire. It was the tower.
717
00:51:03,521 --> 00:51:08,443
That's a very unsafe tower.
You're lucky we don't call the authorities.
718
00:51:08,485 --> 00:51:09,986
Let's go, my hero.
719
00:51:10,028 --> 00:51:12,989
Cebause I'm Batman! To the Batmobile!
720
00:51:13,698 --> 00:51:14,866
Yes. To the...
721
00:51:25,502 --> 00:51:28,546
Sorry about all that stuff.
I guess they thought you'd like it.
722
00:51:28,630 --> 00:51:32,842
-Why do I feel so weird here?
-No, hon. They're being weird.
723
00:51:32,884 --> 00:51:35,136
I think they're just trying to help me.
724
00:51:35,178 --> 00:51:38,848
I mean, I grew up knowing nothing
living inside that hotel.
725
00:51:38,890 --> 00:51:42,143
And you learned about everything
growing up in Santa Claus.
726
00:51:42,185 --> 00:51:43,937
Santa Cruz. But...
727
00:51:44,396 --> 00:51:47,232
Maybe if Dennis grows up
away from Transylvania,
728
00:51:47,315 --> 00:51:51,486
he won't be so freaky. Like me.
729
00:51:51,528 --> 00:51:54,823
Are you nuts? Mavis, you're a blast.
730
00:51:54,864 --> 00:51:57,742
You're so full of life
and curious about everything.
731
00:51:57,826 --> 00:52:02,288
If Dennis grows up to be just like you,
I'll be the luckiest dad in the world.
732
00:52:03,331 --> 00:52:05,542
I love you, Johnnystein.
733
00:52:05,583 --> 00:52:06,751
You know what?
734
00:52:06,835 --> 00:52:09,921
As long as we're all together,
we'll be happy anywhere.
735
00:52:10,005 --> 00:52:11,673
Even at the hotel.
736
00:52:12,590 --> 00:52:14,217
Yes!
737
00:52:16,594 --> 00:52:17,846
What are you doing?
738
00:52:18,388 --> 00:52:22,892
Check out this video my friend sent me.
This kid is an awesome daredevil.
739
00:52:24,894 --> 00:52:25,895
Dude!
740
00:52:25,937 --> 00:52:28,023
-Did you get it?
-Wait! Is that Dennis?
741
00:52:28,064 --> 00:52:31,901
No! Is it? No. It's just hard to see. But...
742
00:52:32,861 --> 00:52:35,697
Just deleted it. So, it's gone.
743
00:52:45,540 --> 00:52:48,335
What? It's Mavis. I'm not answering it.
744
00:52:50,295 --> 00:52:52,422
Come on, Drac. You have to.
745
00:52:54,841 --> 00:52:56,259
All right!
746
00:52:56,551 --> 00:52:59,471
-Yes, honeybunch.
-Dad? Where are you?
747
00:53:00,430 --> 00:53:03,683
We're outside the hotel
having a little cookout.
748
00:53:03,767 --> 00:53:06,770
-It's perfectly safe.
-What's that noise? Is that a siren?
749
00:53:06,811 --> 00:53:10,398
Those are just some wailing banshees
checking in.
750
00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:11,900
Quiet, you banshees.
751
00:53:11,941 --> 00:53:14,778
We're trying to have
a perfectly safe cookout over here.
752
00:53:14,819 --> 00:53:18,615
Mommy! I wanna say hi! Mommy! Mommy!
753
00:53:18,656 --> 00:53:21,576
-Papa Drac just tried to teach me how to fly.
-Wait a minute. Is that the mother?
754
00:53:21,618 --> 00:53:23,328
No. Static again.
755
00:53:24,245 --> 00:53:26,039
I am coming back to the hotel right now.
756
00:53:26,122 --> 00:53:30,794
And you better be there or I swear, Dad,
you're gonna be very sorry.
757
00:53:31,461 --> 00:53:34,631
-What's goin' on?
-We need to get home right away.
758
00:53:36,966 --> 00:53:39,594
Okay. I'll go wake up my backpack.
759
00:53:39,678 --> 00:53:41,054
Guys, we gotta move.
760
00:53:41,137 --> 00:53:43,682
We got no car!
How we gonna get out of here?
761
00:53:43,765 --> 00:53:45,517
Don't worry. I made a call.
762
00:53:54,651 --> 00:53:58,113
I'm sorry, Blobby.
We really meant to call you sooner.
763
00:54:04,494 --> 00:54:05,829
Hit it!
764
00:54:20,844 --> 00:54:23,138
-Transylvania.
-You want to go where?
765
00:54:23,179 --> 00:54:24,806
Transylvania. As soon as possible.
766
00:54:24,848 --> 00:54:28,018
-We don't fly direct to Transylvania.
-You don't?
767
00:54:28,101 --> 00:54:32,439
You can go to Bucharest, but you'll have to
switch planes in Chicago and then Zürich.
768
00:54:32,522 --> 00:54:33,773
So, when would we get there?
769
00:54:33,857 --> 00:54:37,152
Well, the Chicago flight's delayed
due to bad weather.
770
00:54:42,824 --> 00:54:44,701
So, two seats in coach?
771
00:54:44,993 --> 00:54:46,036
No!
772
00:54:46,536 --> 00:54:48,204
-No!
-Yes.
773
00:55:07,849 --> 00:55:10,810
You have to go now?
When we finally have no traffic.
774
00:55:10,894 --> 00:55:12,896
You're killing me, Blobby.
775
00:55:22,405 --> 00:55:25,617
I still have some cloud on me.
Gotta do a selfie!
776
00:55:25,700 --> 00:55:28,745
-Johnny! Not now!
-Okay. Maybe later.
777
00:55:34,459 --> 00:55:37,420
This scooter thing's out of juice.
We're never gonna make it.
778
00:55:37,504 --> 00:55:39,130
Frank, blow.
779
00:55:48,431 --> 00:55:49,557
Now!
780
00:56:11,913 --> 00:56:15,625
How fun is this? Why are you laughing?
You like that?
781
00:56:15,667 --> 00:56:16,668
Watch this.
782
00:56:28,596 --> 00:56:32,684
-Now this is flying, Denisovich.
-Like a vampire.
783
00:56:36,312 --> 00:56:39,190
That's my boy. Look at you go.
784
00:56:47,991 --> 00:56:51,494
You're the coolest guy
who wears a cape, Papa Drac.
785
00:57:19,856 --> 00:57:22,776
So, hey, when are you going
to get here already?
786
00:57:22,859 --> 00:57:24,736
We've been waiting...
787
00:57:26,696 --> 00:57:28,656
Give me my son.
788
00:57:28,698 --> 00:57:31,242
We just went out for some avocados.
789
00:57:31,326 --> 00:57:34,287
-Mommy! I flew!
-I saw.
790
00:57:34,371 --> 00:57:38,792
Mother's already nutsy koo koo
Nutsy koo koo
791
00:57:38,875 --> 00:57:40,460
-Koo koo
-Oh, dear. Oh, dear
792
00:57:40,543 --> 00:57:42,379
Oh, my devil
I have to follow protocol
793
00:57:42,462 --> 00:57:44,464
That ain't happening
That ain't happening
794
00:57:44,547 --> 00:57:45,882
Mother's already
795
00:57:45,924 --> 00:57:47,050
Koo koo
796
00:57:47,926 --> 00:57:49,094
Koo koo
797
00:57:56,685 --> 00:58:00,105
I was worried Dennis wasn't safe
around other monsters.
798
00:58:00,188 --> 00:58:03,233
Now I don't even feel like
he's safe around you.
799
00:58:03,566 --> 00:58:06,027
-But I was just...
-What was it you said?
800
00:58:06,069 --> 00:58:09,364
Human, monster, unicorn.
That it didn't matter?
801
00:58:09,406 --> 00:58:11,574
Well, I just know his life would...
802
00:58:11,616 --> 00:58:14,327
We'll have his birthday party
here on Wednesday.
803
00:58:14,411 --> 00:58:15,745
Then we're moving.
804
00:58:16,121 --> 00:58:18,998
Please, Mavey. Don't leave.
805
00:58:19,082 --> 00:58:21,626
Maybe you've let humans
into your hotel, Dad.
806
00:58:22,210 --> 00:58:24,754
But I don't think you've let them
into your heart.
807
00:59:09,007 --> 00:59:11,926
I can do it. I can do it.
808
00:59:12,427 --> 00:59:14,971
I'm a bat. I'm a bat.
809
00:59:15,597 --> 00:59:17,599
I'm a bat. I'm a bat. I'm a bat!
810
00:59:17,640 --> 00:59:21,478
-Dennis? What are you doing, sweetie?
-Nothing.
811
00:59:21,561 --> 00:59:24,522
Careful. Let me help you down from there.
812
00:59:24,606 --> 00:59:26,941
Are you getting excited about your big party?
813
00:59:26,983 --> 00:59:28,610
I guess so.
814
00:59:28,651 --> 00:59:31,738
You know who's coming?
Daddy's whole family.
815
00:59:31,821 --> 00:59:33,782
Grandpa Mike and Grandma Linda.
816
00:59:33,823 --> 00:59:37,619
All your cousins and aunts and uncles
who love you so much.
817
00:59:37,660 --> 00:59:41,790
And then they're gonna be with us
when we move to California.
818
00:59:41,831 --> 00:59:46,503
Mommy, are we going away
cebause I'm not a monster?
819
00:59:46,544 --> 00:59:50,131
What? No. Dennis, of course not.
820
00:59:50,173 --> 00:59:52,550
It's just grown-up stuff.
821
00:59:52,634 --> 00:59:55,387
Okay. But what about Papa Drac?
822
00:59:55,470 --> 00:59:57,889
He's gonna be here all alone.
823
00:59:57,972 --> 01:00:00,725
Papa Drac has to stay here to run the hotel.
824
01:00:00,809 --> 01:00:03,645
But he'll visit us. And we'll visit him.
825
01:00:03,687 --> 01:00:07,065
-Can we call him every night?
-Sure.
826
01:00:12,696 --> 01:00:14,114
Awesome!
827
01:00:14,197 --> 01:00:16,032
Hello. We're here.
828
01:00:18,034 --> 01:00:23,373
The night brings Johnny's family here
829
01:00:23,415 --> 01:00:28,294
To take away all that Drac holds dear
830
01:00:28,378 --> 01:00:29,462
Welcome, welcome.
831
01:00:29,546 --> 01:00:31,756
Hide your feelings
832
01:00:31,840 --> 01:00:35,635
Keep them all inside
833
01:00:42,308 --> 01:00:45,228
Dude, why do you wanna leave?
This place is out of control.
834
01:00:45,311 --> 01:00:46,730
I don't wanna leave.
835
01:00:46,771 --> 01:00:48,732
All these awesome freakazoids!
836
01:00:48,815 --> 01:00:52,235
-So, who's the coolest monster?
-Kakie.
837
01:00:52,318 --> 01:00:54,738
-Kakie.
-Kakie. What a wussbag.
838
01:00:55,655 --> 01:00:58,575
Isn't it nice to have
the whole family together?
839
01:00:59,159 --> 01:01:03,413
Mavis, do you have
any cousins or thingies in your family?
840
01:01:03,496 --> 01:01:05,540
No. It's just been me and Dad.
841
01:01:05,582 --> 01:01:08,251
I never did ask how you lost your mom.
842
01:01:08,293 --> 01:01:10,587
She was killed by angry humans.
843
01:01:11,921 --> 01:01:14,257
Awkward
844
01:01:14,591 --> 01:01:18,261
-But there is my Grandpa Vlad.
-You have a grandpa?
845
01:01:18,345 --> 01:01:21,681
Yeah. He'll be at the party. I invited him.
846
01:01:21,765 --> 01:01:23,099
You invited him?
847
01:01:23,183 --> 01:01:27,354
Dad, he's never seen Dennis.
I wanted them to meet once before we go.
848
01:01:27,437 --> 01:01:31,941
Sure. Great. Peachy. Good old Vlad.
849
01:01:31,983 --> 01:01:34,194
Anybody have a wet wipe?
850
01:01:51,461 --> 01:01:56,049
Holy rabies.
He finally invites me to something.
851
01:01:56,132 --> 01:01:59,135
-He's got a grandkid?
-And he never told you?
852
01:01:59,219 --> 01:02:03,598
Easy, Bela.
At least there's another vampire in the family.
853
01:02:03,640 --> 01:02:06,476
It's at a hotel? Fancy schmancy.
854
01:02:06,559 --> 01:02:09,646
Hotels are for humans!
855
01:02:14,693 --> 01:02:17,612
Bela, shut your blood hole.
Look what you started.
856
01:02:17,654 --> 01:02:19,072
Don't worry, gang.
857
01:02:19,155 --> 01:02:22,909
I raised my son to hate and kill
and steal the souls of humans
858
01:02:22,992 --> 01:02:24,494
like a good boy.
859
01:02:24,911 --> 01:02:27,997
Yes, Grandpa Vlad will be so happy
860
01:02:28,039 --> 01:02:32,961
when he sees the big masquerade party
Johnny and I have planned.
861
01:02:33,003 --> 01:02:34,170
What?
862
01:02:37,340 --> 01:02:40,593
-Play along. It's my dad.
-You have a dad? That's funny.
863
01:02:40,677 --> 01:02:43,388
Listen to me.
My dad cannot know you're a human.
864
01:02:43,471 --> 01:02:45,432
Or any of your family.
865
01:02:45,515 --> 01:02:47,851
What? But, Drac, I'm proud that we're...
866
01:02:47,892 --> 01:02:51,021
Or he'll steal your family's souls
and eat your backpack.
867
01:02:53,523 --> 01:02:54,858
That's right, gang.
868
01:02:54,899 --> 01:02:58,403
We're gonna make the birthday
a monster masquerade party.
869
01:02:59,112 --> 01:03:00,864
-Really?
-That's lovely.
870
01:03:00,905 --> 01:03:05,660
Sort of like a last hurrah
before Dennis gets to be with normal people.
871
01:03:05,702 --> 01:03:08,163
I couldn't have said it better.
872
01:03:27,057 --> 01:03:31,144
What do you think, Mavis?
I think I'm starting to like being creepy.
873
01:03:36,149 --> 01:03:39,069
You're lucky we don't call the authorities.
874
01:03:39,110 --> 01:03:41,029
Let's go, my hero.
875
01:03:41,071 --> 01:03:42,781
Cebause I'm Batman!
876
01:03:43,656 --> 01:03:45,950
Yes! To the Batmobile!
877
01:03:51,414 --> 01:03:53,583
Got your butt kicked by a girl, Batman.
878
01:03:56,086 --> 01:03:58,922
Yeah. Whatever. I'm not about to cry.
879
01:04:02,258 --> 01:04:05,512
Hotel Transylvania.
880
01:04:05,679 --> 01:04:09,224
I smell humans!
881
01:04:09,265 --> 01:04:11,768
Tear it down!
882
01:04:11,851 --> 01:04:16,564
Bela, we're in the outside world.
You're gonna smell humans.
883
01:04:16,606 --> 01:04:20,276
You know what? Just wait outside for me.
This is family stuff.
884
01:04:20,360 --> 01:04:21,945
You'll only get in the way.
885
01:04:22,028 --> 01:04:23,947
I just wanna meet the little fanger.
886
01:04:24,030 --> 01:04:27,117
-He should know his great-vampa.
-His what?
887
01:04:27,200 --> 01:04:30,829
Vampire grandpa. Come on.
That was obvious.
888
01:04:32,956 --> 01:04:34,749
Amazing party!
889
01:04:34,791 --> 01:04:37,460
So, what do you think?
890
01:04:37,544 --> 01:04:40,255
This is your vampire costume?
What are you, nuts?
891
01:04:40,296 --> 01:04:41,506
I ordered it online.
892
01:04:41,589 --> 01:04:43,508
It was the only place
that delivered overnight.
893
01:04:43,591 --> 01:04:45,969
You look like you got
a baboon's butt on your head.
894
01:04:46,052 --> 01:04:50,056
Have you at least practiced your voice?
You can't just talk like a hippie.
895
01:04:50,140 --> 01:04:53,810
-I'm not a hippie. I'm a slacker.
-Talk like a vampire.
896
01:04:54,310 --> 01:04:59,482
My name is Count Jonafang. I am a vampire.
897
01:04:59,524 --> 01:05:03,486
Okay, vampires don't go around saying,
"I am a vampire."
898
01:05:03,528 --> 01:05:08,033
Sorry. I am Count Jonafang. Bleh, bleh-bleh.
899
01:05:08,199 --> 01:05:10,827
-Are you kidding me?
-I'm sorry. I'm nervous.
900
01:05:10,869 --> 01:05:13,163
Yeah, listen, if you think I don't like it,
901
01:05:13,246 --> 01:05:17,000
you definitely don't want to say,
"Bleh, bleh-bleh," in front of my father.
902
01:05:17,083 --> 01:05:20,337
-Sir, Master Kakie has arrived.
-Hey.
903
01:05:20,378 --> 01:05:23,298
Drac, this is Brandon, a.k.a. Kakie.
904
01:05:23,340 --> 01:05:25,342
-We got him for Dennis.
-Hey, man.
905
01:05:25,425 --> 01:05:27,177
Nauseated to meet you.
906
01:05:27,218 --> 01:05:30,055
When does this happen?
I got a book fair in half an hour.
907
01:05:33,683 --> 01:05:36,353
All right. Where's my vampson?
908
01:05:38,688 --> 01:05:42,150
Please. Still has to make a dramatic entrance.
909
01:05:42,192 --> 01:05:47,030
-Dad! Look at you!
-So you run a hotel now?
910
01:05:47,072 --> 01:05:50,784
From Prince of Darkness
to King of Room Service.
911
01:05:50,867 --> 01:05:55,246
Yes. So good to see you.
I'll be right with you.
912
01:06:00,043 --> 01:06:03,380
Keep Vlad away from the humans and Mavis.
913
01:06:04,255 --> 01:06:05,423
I'm on it.
914
01:06:06,091 --> 01:06:09,427
Now that is a neat costume.
915
01:06:10,387 --> 01:06:13,848
-These two smell funny.
-You're European.
916
01:06:13,890 --> 01:06:16,226
It's called deodorant.
917
01:06:16,309 --> 01:06:19,521
Nothing like insulting
an entire continent, Linda.
918
01:06:19,562 --> 01:06:21,564
Hey, Count! How goes it? Frankenstein.
919
01:06:21,606 --> 01:06:23,733
Actually, I'm technically
Frankenstein's monster.
920
01:06:23,775 --> 01:06:25,235
Frankenstein, he's the doctor who...
921
01:06:25,276 --> 01:06:28,238
Would love to hear more. Call my people.
922
01:06:28,571 --> 01:06:31,157
So, let me introduce you
to some of your son's other buddies.
923
01:06:32,242 --> 01:06:35,495
-This is Murray.
-Please don't kill me!
924
01:06:35,578 --> 01:06:38,415
I mean, yo, V! What's up?
925
01:06:38,456 --> 01:06:41,584
Talking toilet paper. Well, that's a new one.
926
01:06:42,585 --> 01:06:45,088
All right! Where's the kid?
That's who I wanna meet.
927
01:06:45,130 --> 01:06:46,506
Johnny!
928
01:06:49,175 --> 01:06:52,095
This is Dracula's son-in-law.
929
01:06:52,137 --> 01:06:55,932
I am Count Jonafang.
930
01:06:56,016 --> 01:06:58,393
Bleh, bleh, black sheep.
931
01:06:58,435 --> 01:07:01,438
Have you any wool?
932
01:07:01,479 --> 01:07:03,273
What's that thing on your head?
933
01:07:03,314 --> 01:07:05,859
Looks like my grandmother's boobies.
934
01:07:08,153 --> 01:07:10,447
Daddy, who's the man with the funny face?
935
01:07:10,488 --> 01:07:13,116
-Is this the kid?
-It sure is.
936
01:07:13,158 --> 01:07:14,784
Let me see those fangs.
937
01:07:14,826 --> 01:07:15,952
What are you doin'?
938
01:07:15,994 --> 01:07:17,454
I just love him so much.
939
01:07:17,579 --> 01:07:21,124
I want to hug him right in the fangs
that he has.
940
01:07:23,126 --> 01:07:26,838
I repeat, lemme see those fangs.
941
01:07:36,139 --> 01:07:39,184
He's a late fanger, just like you.
942
01:07:39,309 --> 01:07:41,936
Yes. Yes. Just like me.
943
01:07:43,521 --> 01:07:46,566
The big shot here
was a little crybaby, all right.
944
01:07:46,649 --> 01:07:49,152
-Yes, yes, I was.
-Used to pee in his bed.
945
01:07:49,235 --> 01:07:50,487
Okay, Dad.
946
01:07:50,528 --> 01:07:53,490
We just need to
scare the fangs out of the kid.
947
01:07:53,531 --> 01:07:54,991
Hare ha hangs?
948
01:07:55,075 --> 01:07:57,744
Yeah, it's what I did for Mr. Tough Guy here.
949
01:07:57,827 --> 01:08:02,791
First, you've got to possess something
the late fanger finds sweet and innocent.
950
01:08:02,832 --> 01:08:05,168
Then you show them what's what and...
951
01:08:06,378 --> 01:08:10,465
Trust me. It'll scare the fangs right out.
Right, Drac?
952
01:08:10,507 --> 01:08:14,552
Seriously, guys, if I'm late for the book fair,
I'll miss the street fair.
953
01:08:15,178 --> 01:08:16,763
That's your guy.
954
01:08:17,347 --> 01:08:20,266
Possessed? But Dennis will be so upset.
955
01:08:20,350 --> 01:08:22,352
Don't you get it? This is our ticket.
956
01:08:22,435 --> 01:08:25,522
If it works for Denisovich, boom!
He's a vampire.
957
01:08:25,563 --> 01:08:29,234
-And you all get to stay here.
-All right. All right.
958
01:08:30,068 --> 01:08:31,778
-Capisce.
-Good call.
959
01:08:32,028 --> 01:08:34,864
Kids, everyone, have a seat.
960
01:08:34,906 --> 01:08:37,534
Dennis has a big surprise for you.
961
01:08:37,617 --> 01:08:41,871
The one and only Kakie, The Cake Monster!
962
01:08:42,038 --> 01:08:45,542
Hey, kids! It's me, Kakie!
963
01:08:46,042 --> 01:08:49,254
What a wonderful Kakie day it is!
964
01:08:49,421 --> 01:08:53,591
Now, I have a question.
Who here loves cake?
965
01:08:58,972 --> 01:09:00,056
Rise!
966
01:09:07,897 --> 01:09:11,067
Why am I floating?
Can I have the stage manager, please?
967
01:09:11,109 --> 01:09:12,902
This isn't working for me.
968
01:09:19,117 --> 01:09:22,579
Scary, Denisovich? You feeling anything?
Any change?
969
01:09:22,662 --> 01:09:24,247
Is Kakie okay?
970
01:09:26,082 --> 01:09:30,420
I want all the cake. Sharing is for cowards.
971
01:09:33,006 --> 01:09:36,343
I don't remember any of this
from the TV show.
972
01:09:36,426 --> 01:09:39,471
I think I saw it on a Blu-ray disc, bonus stuff.
973
01:09:39,554 --> 01:09:41,723
Wait, why is Grandpa Vlad up there?
974
01:09:48,021 --> 01:09:51,024
I'm scared, Papa.
What's happening to Kakie?
975
01:09:55,195 --> 01:09:58,823
You don't eat cake. Cake eat you!
976
01:09:58,990 --> 01:10:01,785
-No!
-Stop it!
977
01:10:04,829 --> 01:10:07,624
What just happened, man? I'm outta here.
978
01:10:07,791 --> 01:10:10,877
None of these parents
better review this on Yelp.
979
01:10:11,294 --> 01:10:12,545
Hey, what did you just do?
980
01:10:12,629 --> 01:10:15,465
A few more seconds and the kid's fangs
would have popped right out.
981
01:10:15,548 --> 01:10:19,052
-I don't care. It's not worth it.
-What's not worth it?
982
01:10:19,135 --> 01:10:22,597
It was my last attempt
to make the boy a vampire, so you'd stay.
983
01:10:22,639 --> 01:10:25,809
By ruining his favorite thing?
How could you do that?
984
01:10:25,892 --> 01:10:26,976
We were desperate.
985
01:10:27,060 --> 01:10:30,397
-You were in on this?
-Dennis won't be happy in my town.
986
01:10:30,480 --> 01:10:32,232
Dennis hasn't been there.
987
01:10:32,315 --> 01:10:34,275
Now husband and wife
988
01:10:34,317 --> 01:10:36,653
Feel the strain and the strife
989
01:10:36,736 --> 01:10:38,321
Shut up!
990
01:10:38,405 --> 01:10:40,990
Johnny, Dennis is not a monster.
991
01:10:42,200 --> 01:10:45,745
-He likes avocado.
-'Cause you don't let him eat anything fun.
992
01:10:45,829 --> 01:10:47,914
I think Dennis just wants to be normal.
993
01:10:47,997 --> 01:10:50,458
Can we stop using the word "normal"?
994
01:10:50,500 --> 01:10:52,669
Where we live now, he's normal.
995
01:10:52,752 --> 01:10:56,923
He is who he is.
And you can't change him, Dad.
996
01:10:59,509 --> 01:11:02,679
-Dennis, where are you going?
-Away.
997
01:11:04,014 --> 01:11:06,474
But it's not safe out here by yourself.
998
01:11:06,516 --> 01:11:09,936
I know a place where we can hide. Follow me.
999
01:11:16,026 --> 01:11:17,235
If you didn't stop me,
1000
01:11:17,318 --> 01:11:20,655
my great-grandson wouldn't have to be
a wimp his whole life
1001
01:11:20,697 --> 01:11:22,282
like Schlumpy over here.
1002
01:11:22,365 --> 01:11:24,367
-A wimp?
-Johnny, be cool.
1003
01:11:24,409 --> 01:11:26,369
You wanna throw down, old man?
1004
01:11:26,453 --> 01:11:30,248
-Certified yellow belt since 1997.
-No!
1005
01:11:30,331 --> 01:11:34,878
-What's this now? You're not a vampire?
-Bleh?
1006
01:11:34,919 --> 01:11:39,591
Of course he's human. He's our son.
You think we're monsters?
1007
01:11:42,552 --> 01:11:47,557
You! You let your daughter marry a human
and have a human kid?
1008
01:11:47,599 --> 01:11:50,769
Why don't you just
put a stake through my heart.
1009
01:11:50,852 --> 01:11:54,314
We don't hate humans anymore,
and they don't hate us.
1010
01:11:57,984 --> 01:12:00,153
Humans?
1011
01:12:01,404 --> 01:12:02,489
You're a fool.
1012
01:12:02,572 --> 01:12:08,078
Your great-grandson is the sweetest, kindest,
most special boy I've ever met.
1013
01:12:08,161 --> 01:12:12,082
And if you can't give him the love
he deserves because he's half-human,
1014
01:12:12,165 --> 01:12:13,792
then you're the fool.
1015
01:12:15,126 --> 01:12:16,252
Daddy.
1016
01:12:18,338 --> 01:12:22,092
-Hey, where is Dennis? Dennis!
-Dennis?
1017
01:12:25,261 --> 01:12:28,348
Happy birthday, Dennis. I made you a treat.
1018
01:12:28,431 --> 01:12:30,225
-Dead pigeon?
-Enjoy it.
1019
01:12:30,266 --> 01:12:33,228
'Cause once I graduate business school
and start running a company,
1020
01:12:33,269 --> 01:12:36,272
you're not gonna get home-cooked meals
like this anymore.
1021
01:12:36,314 --> 01:12:39,901
I have to move away, Winnie. To California.
1022
01:12:39,943 --> 01:12:45,198
My mommy thinks I'm not happy here
cebause I don't have hair on my face like you.
1023
01:12:45,281 --> 01:12:47,450
I'm sorry I'm not a monster.
1024
01:12:47,492 --> 01:12:51,037
No, you are perfect.
You're the nicest boy I know.
1025
01:12:51,121 --> 01:12:55,208
-And I have 300 brothers.
-You're nice, too, Winnie.
1026
01:12:59,337 --> 01:13:04,718
Well, well, well. The little human and his pet.
1027
01:13:04,884 --> 01:13:06,761
-Dennis!
-Denisovich!
1028
01:13:06,803 --> 01:13:09,180
-He's not in the room.
-He's not by the pool.
1029
01:13:09,681 --> 01:13:13,059
-He's not in this pot of soup.
-Where could he be?
1030
01:13:13,226 --> 01:13:15,812
I don't know why I ever invited you.
1031
01:13:16,479 --> 01:13:17,897
-Dennis!
-Dennis!
1032
01:13:17,981 --> 01:13:20,233
-Denisovich!
-Dennis!
1033
01:13:32,579 --> 01:13:34,289
Stop squirming.
1034
01:13:34,330 --> 01:13:38,335
-Why are you doing this?
-Because this is wrong.
1035
01:13:38,376 --> 01:13:40,587
Why doesn't anybody get that?
1036
01:13:40,670 --> 01:13:43,840
Humans don't belong with monsters.
1037
01:13:43,923 --> 01:13:46,760
-You're wrong!
-I am not!
1038
01:13:46,843 --> 01:13:49,346
I am holding you hostage.
1039
01:13:49,429 --> 01:13:54,851
And me and my crew are gonna
tear that human-hugging hotel to shreds.
1040
01:13:54,934 --> 01:13:58,229
-You can't.
-Really? Why not?
1041
01:13:58,313 --> 01:14:00,899
-Cebause...
-Cebause, why?
1042
01:14:01,524 --> 01:14:04,194
Cebause it will make Papa Drac sad.
1043
01:14:05,195 --> 01:14:10,700
-Sad. And what are you gonna do about it?
-I don't know.
1044
01:14:10,784 --> 01:14:12,577
You know why you don't know?
1045
01:14:12,660 --> 01:14:16,956
Cebause you're just a weak little boy.
1046
01:14:47,487 --> 01:14:48,571
What was that?
1047
01:14:48,905 --> 01:14:50,740
Dennis, we're coming.
1048
01:14:52,242 --> 01:14:55,578
-Are you okay, Winnie?
-Yes, my zing.
1049
01:15:31,531 --> 01:15:34,325
-Dennis! There he is, right there.
-Dennis! Baby!
1050
01:15:34,492 --> 01:15:37,203
-My big boy!
-Dennis, we were lookin' for ya.
1051
01:15:37,287 --> 01:15:39,539
-Sweetheart.
-I'm so happy to see you.
1052
01:15:43,209 --> 01:15:44,961
There's his mean friends.
1053
01:15:51,509 --> 01:15:53,678
This'll be fun.
1054
01:16:54,531 --> 01:16:55,782
I didn't do that.
1055
01:17:07,585 --> 01:17:10,296
-You rock, Dennis.
-He means Denisovich.
1056
01:17:10,380 --> 01:17:11,715
Kakie rules!
1057
01:17:22,225 --> 01:17:23,935
Dennis, I'm coming.
1058
01:17:28,940 --> 01:17:31,317
I knew all that practice would pay off.
1059
01:17:55,008 --> 01:17:57,677
That's right, you better fly away.
1060
01:17:58,970 --> 01:18:02,724
Papa Drac, I'm a vampire and a superhero.
1061
01:18:02,766 --> 01:18:04,351
Am I cool now?
1062
01:18:04,434 --> 01:18:07,937
"Now"? Dennis, you were always cool.
1063
01:18:07,979 --> 01:18:12,609
Human, vampire, unicorn,
you're perfect no matter what.
1064
01:18:12,650 --> 01:18:16,613
But since I'm a vampire, can we stay here?
1065
01:18:17,197 --> 01:18:18,323
Yes.
1066
01:18:18,406 --> 01:18:20,950
-All right! Yeah!
-All right!
1067
01:18:22,702 --> 01:18:27,123
But you have to know,
we're going to visit you here every holiday.
1068
01:18:27,207 --> 01:18:29,250
-That's fine.
-That's fine.
1069
01:18:44,808 --> 01:18:49,145
Don't ever come near me or my family again.
1070
01:18:52,524 --> 01:18:53,733
No!
1071
01:19:02,659 --> 01:19:06,329
Daddy, you just saved a human.
1072
01:19:07,497 --> 01:19:11,334
All this pressure about
when the boy's fangs were coming out.
1073
01:19:11,418 --> 01:19:15,630
Who cares? Mine came out years ago! Look.
1074
01:19:16,756 --> 01:19:19,759
Okay, Dad, put 'em back in before we all barf.
1075
01:19:19,843 --> 01:19:23,722
Hey! Isn't it still somebody's birthday?
1076
01:20:19,736 --> 01:20:21,571
Let me hear you sing!