1 00:00:00,078 --> 00:00:00,868 Okay, honey, 2 00:00:00,922 --> 00:00:02,843 doorbell's installed. How's it sound? 3 00:00:02,921 --> 00:00:05,554 Welcome to hell ! Ooh, ha, ha, ha ha... 4 00:00:05,690 --> 00:00:07,561 That is so cute! 5 00:00:07,682 --> 00:00:09,679 Can you come in here and help me with this web? 6 00:00:09,766 --> 00:00:11,626 Sorry, gotta fly. 7 00:00:11,713 --> 00:00:13,570 I'm gonna do that one again when there's more people around. 8 00:00:13,657 --> 00:00:15,821 Okay. So, you got to put that up on the hook 9 00:00:15,908 --> 00:00:17,445 because the trick-or-treaters are gonna be here 10 00:00:17,532 --> 00:00:19,338 - any minute. - I'm caught. 11 00:00:19,425 --> 00:00:21,226 - Don't pull. It's just gonna get... - Oh. 12 00:00:21,313 --> 00:00:22,424 Worse. 13 00:00:22,525 --> 00:00:24,609 - No, I can, uh... - N... Stop moving. 14 00:00:24,696 --> 00:00:26,280 I'm gonna get some scissors. 15 00:00:30,861 --> 00:00:32,288 Hey, Jerry. 16 00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:33,913 What's wrong? 17 00:00:34,627 --> 00:00:35,807 When? 18 00:00:36,038 --> 00:00:37,346 How? 19 00:00:37,755 --> 00:00:39,136 Oh, thank God you're back. 20 00:00:39,223 --> 00:00:41,218 There's a real spider in here, and it's getting closer. 21 00:00:41,305 --> 00:00:43,632 That was Jerry, my mom's husband. 22 00:00:43,719 --> 00:00:46,241 - Is everything okay? - No. 23 00:00:46,683 --> 00:00:48,936 - My mom's dead. - What? 24 00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:03,469 *MODERN FAMILY* Season 10 Episode 05 25 00:01:03,547 --> 00:01:05,187 *MODERN FAMILY* Episode Title: "Good Grief " 26 00:01:05,908 --> 00:01:07,857 I can't believe Nana's gone. 27 00:01:08,190 --> 00:01:10,079 If God really is an old white guy, 28 00:01:10,166 --> 00:01:11,570 he's about to get an earful. 29 00:01:11,657 --> 00:01:13,085 Oh, my God, Claire. 30 00:01:13,172 --> 00:01:14,460 Mitchell. 31 00:01:15,903 --> 00:01:17,293 - Uh... - Wait, can you... 32 00:01:17,380 --> 00:01:18,462 - I think... - I don't know how to... 33 00:01:18,549 --> 00:01:21,087 - Help. Please help. Thank you. - Oh! 34 00:01:24,192 --> 00:01:25,739 All right. 35 00:01:25,950 --> 00:01:27,332 Who are you supposed to be? 36 00:01:27,419 --> 00:01:28,690 Ah, I'm Pr... I'm Prince Harry. 37 00:01:28,777 --> 00:01:30,393 Oh, does that mean Cam is... 38 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:32,417 Hear ye, hear ye, 39 00:01:32,504 --> 00:01:35,407 presenting the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan... 40 00:01:35,494 --> 00:01:37,111 No, no, no, no, no. That was for Pepper's party. 41 00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:39,741 We're not doing that anymore. Go console your cousins. 42 00:01:39,828 --> 00:01:41,488 - Oh, hey. - Oh, sweetie. 43 00:01:41,575 --> 00:01:43,922 - Let me get in there. - Oh, hang on. Oh... 44 00:01:44,136 --> 00:01:45,782 - All right, get up. - I had the same issue with this. 45 00:01:45,869 --> 00:01:46,890 - Just... - Okay, there it is. 46 00:01:46,977 --> 00:01:48,353 - Ohh. - Oh, sweetie. 47 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:50,805 - Who needs a drink? - I do. - I do. 48 00:01:50,892 --> 00:01:53,186 Okay, how are we gonna handle this? 49 00:01:53,273 --> 00:01:54,397 You mean because the two most 50 00:01:54,484 --> 00:01:56,813 emotionally complicated people on earth are facing the loss 51 00:01:56,900 --> 00:01:58,961 of the most complicated relationship of their lives? 52 00:01:59,048 --> 00:02:01,375 So... not an edible arrangement. 53 00:02:01,748 --> 00:02:03,039 We just have to be there for them. 54 00:02:03,126 --> 00:02:04,523 Whatever they need. I... 55 00:02:04,831 --> 00:02:06,228 It just feels inappropriate 56 00:02:06,315 --> 00:02:07,722 - being dressed like this. - Yeah. 57 00:02:07,809 --> 00:02:10,398 I should be in something darker with a cap sleeve. 58 00:02:12,458 --> 00:02:15,025 This is so surreal. I-I can't believe this. 59 00:02:15,112 --> 00:02:17,043 I-I just talked to her right before she left. 60 00:02:17,130 --> 00:02:18,755 She was so excited about her trip to Greenland 61 00:02:18,842 --> 00:02:19,923 - with her women's group. - Mm. 62 00:02:20,010 --> 00:02:21,157 Still no word on what happened? 63 00:02:21,244 --> 00:02:22,603 No. Jerry called. 64 00:02:22,690 --> 00:02:24,346 He said that she had a heart problem 65 00:02:24,433 --> 00:02:26,679 she didn't want to talk about, but we're still not sure if that's it. 66 00:02:26,766 --> 00:02:29,180 He did promise to reach out as soon as he has some answers. 67 00:02:29,267 --> 00:02:31,438 Well, we're here to support you in any way we can. 68 00:02:31,525 --> 00:02:34,098 Yeah. Anything you need, anything at all, we're on it. 69 00:02:34,185 --> 00:02:36,172 - Soup? - Tissues? 70 00:02:36,269 --> 00:02:38,079 Try this meditation exercise. 71 00:02:38,166 --> 00:02:41,467 Yeah, no, you guys are being so sweet. I just... 72 00:02:41,554 --> 00:02:43,469 Yeah, but w-we cope with things 73 00:02:43,556 --> 00:02:45,949 a little less touchy-feely and a little more... 74 00:02:46,036 --> 00:02:48,197 - Irish. Yes. - Right. Right. 75 00:02:48,284 --> 00:02:50,657 You know, have some drinks, tell some funny stories. 76 00:02:50,744 --> 00:02:52,228 Mm. Do you remember the time 77 00:02:52,315 --> 00:02:54,172 Mom was so mad because "Laverne and Shirley" 78 00:02:54,259 --> 00:02:55,773 moved to California? 79 00:02:56,436 --> 00:02:58,509 Or, no, remember how she used to always 80 00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:01,376 - bring her own ice cubes to restaurants? - Oh, God, yes! 81 00:03:01,463 --> 00:03:04,225 Remember when she got thrown out of Scientology? 82 00:03:06,909 --> 00:03:08,528 Our mother is dead, Phil. 83 00:03:08,615 --> 00:03:09,862 I-I thought we were... 84 00:03:09,949 --> 00:03:12,020 Maybe you should just give us a little space? 85 00:03:12,107 --> 00:03:14,166 - Of course. Yes. Sure. - Yeah. Yeah, sure. Sure. 86 00:03:14,253 --> 00:03:16,477 You know, I don't know how we all feel about the afterlife, 87 00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:18,962 but I myself would like to imagine Dede 88 00:03:19,049 --> 00:03:20,449 surrounded by loved ones, 89 00:03:20,536 --> 00:03:22,667 - hearing... - Welcome to hell! 90 00:03:23,363 --> 00:03:25,214 - I'll disconnect that doorbell. - Oh, God. 91 00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:27,658 Hey. 92 00:03:27,745 --> 00:03:29,865 We were out trick-or-treating with the kids. 93 00:03:29,952 --> 00:03:31,255 - Dad. - We left Joe with Manny, 94 00:03:31,342 --> 00:03:32,644 and we came as soon as we heard. 95 00:03:32,731 --> 00:03:33,738 So sorry. 96 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,746 - Come here, you two. Get in here. - Oh, thanks, Dad. 97 00:03:35,833 --> 00:03:37,535 Yeah. I know. You just have to... Yeah. 98 00:03:37,622 --> 00:03:41,036 Look, I know that your mother and I had our differences, 99 00:03:41,123 --> 00:03:42,425 but she was a good woman. 100 00:03:42,512 --> 00:03:43,515 Yeah. 101 00:03:43,602 --> 00:03:45,098 She, uh... 102 00:03:45,989 --> 00:03:48,313 Yeah, she had great legs. 103 00:03:48,411 --> 00:03:49,947 Oh. Really? That's your tribute? 104 00:03:50,034 --> 00:03:51,892 Of course not. She was very educated, 105 00:03:51,979 --> 00:03:53,282 as she often told me. 106 00:03:53,369 --> 00:03:56,186 She, um... uh... 107 00:03:56,273 --> 00:03:57,461 She... 108 00:03:57,590 --> 00:03:58,744 I can't watch this. 109 00:03:58,831 --> 00:04:01,002 It's like watching a fish panic at the bottom of a boat. 110 00:04:01,089 --> 00:04:03,627 Uh, she... she gave you us, your wonderful children. 111 00:04:03,714 --> 00:04:06,697 There you go. And for that I will always be grateful. 112 00:04:06,784 --> 00:04:09,409 Yeah. We have so much to be grateful 113 00:04:09,496 --> 00:04:12,120 - Mm-hmm. - For. She was a wonderful mother. 114 00:04:12,207 --> 00:04:14,675 And I'm... I am so glad that I was able to tell her that 115 00:04:14,762 --> 00:04:16,973 during our last call. And I didn't know it at the time, 116 00:04:17,060 --> 00:04:21,360 but in a lot of ways, it was the perfect goodbye. 117 00:04:22,140 --> 00:04:23,452 Huh. 118 00:04:23,683 --> 00:04:25,061 Do we know what happened? 119 00:04:25,174 --> 00:04:27,436 Not yet, no. But you know what? 120 00:04:27,523 --> 00:04:30,865 - I need to be around happy things... - Yeah. 121 00:04:30,952 --> 00:04:33,217 Cute kids in costumes trick-or-treating. 122 00:04:33,304 --> 00:04:34,760 I'm gonna go hand out some Halloween candy. 123 00:04:34,847 --> 00:04:36,645 - I'm good! Good, good! - I'm... I'm coming with you. 124 00:04:36,732 --> 00:04:37,856 - I'm good. - We're good. 125 00:04:37,943 --> 00:04:38,965 Nah. 126 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:40,920 Ah, you make plans, 127 00:04:41,007 --> 00:04:42,973 the universe steps in and says "nope." 128 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,157 - Life is so unfair. - Damn right. 129 00:04:45,244 --> 00:04:47,490 I just waited in a line around the block 130 00:04:47,577 --> 00:04:49,398 for a hoagie everybody's talking about. 131 00:04:49,485 --> 00:04:51,369 Then my ex-wife drops dead, 132 00:04:51,456 --> 00:04:53,285 and I'm too sad to eat it. 133 00:04:54,065 --> 00:04:55,571 I'll give it another hour. 134 00:04:55,658 --> 00:04:59,512 Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss, Jay. 135 00:05:00,718 --> 00:05:03,104 I don't know why I thought getting this out would help. 136 00:05:03,191 --> 00:05:04,607 What is that? 137 00:05:04,694 --> 00:05:07,387 Nana had these little statues of herself made. 138 00:05:07,477 --> 00:05:09,387 They were her Christmas gift to each of us. 139 00:05:09,474 --> 00:05:12,317 Now I feel better about my stupid well in Africa. 140 00:05:12,404 --> 00:05:14,599 Hey. Hitting that candy pretty hard. 141 00:05:14,686 --> 00:05:16,551 You didn't even take the wrapper off the last one. 142 00:05:16,638 --> 00:05:17,990 I'm sad. Shut up. 143 00:05:18,077 --> 00:05:20,036 I heard that if you die on Halloween, 144 00:05:20,123 --> 00:05:21,949 you come back as a zombie. 145 00:05:22,036 --> 00:05:23,249 I can see that. 146 00:05:23,336 --> 00:05:24,586 Nana would be all, 147 00:05:24,673 --> 00:05:27,264 "Braaainnssss! 148 00:05:27,351 --> 00:05:28,653 Nope. Braaainnsss!" 149 00:05:28,740 --> 00:05:30,085 Uch! 150 00:05:31,929 --> 00:05:33,227 I just remember Nana... 151 00:05:33,314 --> 00:05:35,598 when we were little, she would... 152 00:05:36,046 --> 00:05:36,876 She would... 153 00:05:36,963 --> 00:05:39,223 Oh, my God! What is wrong with you two?! 154 00:05:39,310 --> 00:05:41,397 - What? - Our grandmother just died. 155 00:05:41,484 --> 00:05:43,301 Luke's over here making tasteless jokes, 156 00:05:43,388 --> 00:05:46,348 and you're stuffing your face. Show some respect! 157 00:05:46,476 --> 00:05:49,855 I am so sorry, what happened to your grandmother. 158 00:05:49,942 --> 00:05:51,739 She was a wonderful woman. 159 00:05:51,826 --> 00:05:53,358 Thank you, Gloria. 160 00:05:53,445 --> 00:05:55,927 Finally, someone with a normal reaction. 161 00:05:56,014 --> 00:05:58,107 Didn't Nana try to strangle you three times? 162 00:05:58,194 --> 00:05:59,998 Yeah, but one of those times, 163 00:06:00,085 --> 00:06:02,590 I was able to see again my favorite abuela 164 00:06:02,677 --> 00:06:03,723 for one second. 165 00:06:03,810 --> 00:06:06,443 So I really should thank Dede. 166 00:06:06,530 --> 00:06:10,092 Anyways, any issues that your grandmother had with me, 167 00:06:10,179 --> 00:06:11,317 they're behind her. 168 00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:14,350 She's at peace. She's living in a better place. 169 00:06:14,437 --> 00:06:15,795 What the hell is that?! 170 00:06:15,882 --> 00:06:18,231 Mm. Pretty lifelike, right? Christmas gift from Nana. 171 00:06:18,318 --> 00:06:20,115 Ah, it's very cute. 172 00:06:20,202 --> 00:06:23,535 But... it's amazing how her eyes are... 173 00:06:23,648 --> 00:06:26,123 are following me wherever I go! 174 00:06:26,210 --> 00:06:27,866 I know that this is going to sound crazy, 175 00:06:27,953 --> 00:06:30,802 but I have always worried that when Dede died, 176 00:06:30,889 --> 00:06:33,404 she was going to come back and haunt me. 177 00:06:33,491 --> 00:06:35,379 Maybe it's because she whispered it to me 178 00:06:35,466 --> 00:06:36,738 at my wedding. 179 00:06:36,851 --> 00:06:38,934 Happy Halloween. 180 00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:44,341 Cute. You okay? 181 00:06:44,463 --> 00:06:45,598 Yeah, I was just thinking about 182 00:06:45,685 --> 00:06:47,556 this great Halloween with Mom. 183 00:06:47,643 --> 00:06:48,695 Oh. 184 00:06:49,007 --> 00:06:51,489 I wasn't really fitting in in high school, 185 00:06:51,576 --> 00:06:54,169 so Mom took me to go get ice cream 186 00:06:54,256 --> 00:06:56,316 at this place in-in West Hollywood. 187 00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:57,919 And the parade was going on. 188 00:06:58,006 --> 00:07:00,950 And before that, I had never been to a gay event. 189 00:07:01,037 --> 00:07:02,436 Trick or treat! 190 00:07:02,835 --> 00:07:05,194 Here you go. Happy Halloween. 191 00:07:05,428 --> 00:07:06,615 The thing is, 192 00:07:06,702 --> 00:07:08,654 she didn't force me to talk about it. 193 00:07:08,741 --> 00:07:10,037 She just let it be. You know? 194 00:07:10,124 --> 00:07:11,926 And I-I think that that was her way of saying 195 00:07:12,013 --> 00:07:13,848 that she was okay with me. 196 00:07:14,031 --> 00:07:15,434 I remember once Mom told me 197 00:07:15,521 --> 00:07:17,816 that I ate ice cream like a prostitute. 198 00:07:19,037 --> 00:07:20,123 Ugghh, come on. 199 00:07:20,210 --> 00:07:21,247 Wh-Why haven't we heard anything yet 200 00:07:21,334 --> 00:07:23,518 about what happened to her? This is ridiculous! 201 00:07:23,605 --> 00:07:25,644 I know. It's bad enough we lost our mom. 202 00:07:25,731 --> 00:07:28,418 Now we just have to sit here expecting the worst. 203 00:07:28,579 --> 00:07:29,948 - Heyyy. - Heyyy. 204 00:07:30,035 --> 00:07:31,274 Uh, heard some raised voices, 205 00:07:31,361 --> 00:07:32,397 - just making... - Where have you guys been? 206 00:07:32,484 --> 00:07:33,590 Yeah, I don't know if you've noticed, but we're kind of 207 00:07:33,677 --> 00:07:34,723 going through something today. 208 00:07:34,810 --> 00:07:36,754 Well, you s-said you wanted some space, 209 00:07:36,841 --> 00:07:38,715 - so we were giving you... - So now you're gonna logic us to death? 210 00:07:38,802 --> 00:07:41,008 Yeah, yeah, 'cause that's what we need right now. 211 00:07:42,905 --> 00:07:44,873 I am totally confused 212 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:47,130 - about what we're supposed to do. - No. I have an idea. 213 00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:49,692 Mitchell was just talking about a great memory he had 214 00:07:49,779 --> 00:07:52,279 of Dede taking him for ice cream in West Hollywood. 215 00:07:52,366 --> 00:07:55,106 We could go pick some up... it would be a perfect tribute. 216 00:07:55,193 --> 00:07:56,686 That's great. 217 00:07:56,773 --> 00:07:58,920 Plus, I don't know why, but there's... 218 00:07:59,007 --> 00:08:01,340 there's something about the way Claire eats ice cream 219 00:08:01,427 --> 00:08:03,647 that I just... enjoy. 220 00:08:03,734 --> 00:08:05,133 I just wish I could remember the name of it. 221 00:08:05,220 --> 00:08:06,858 - I'm on it. Anderson Scooper? - No. 222 00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:08,203 Priscilla Queen of the Desserts? 223 00:08:08,290 --> 00:08:10,053 - Mnh-mnh. - Sherbert and Ernie? 224 00:08:10,140 --> 00:08:11,864 Mnh-mnh. It was something very specific. 225 00:08:11,951 --> 00:08:13,889 West Hollywood Ice Cream Shop? 226 00:08:13,976 --> 00:08:16,176 - That's it. Let's go. - This can't be happening. 227 00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:19,067 - Ohh. - Aw, Jay, it's a hard day. 228 00:08:19,154 --> 00:08:20,131 Tell me. 229 00:08:20,218 --> 00:08:22,443 I put a sandwich in there with my name on it 230 00:08:22,530 --> 00:08:24,129 10 minutes ago, and now it's missing. 231 00:08:24,218 --> 00:08:26,692 - Who the hell took it?! - Really? On a day like today, 232 00:08:26,779 --> 00:08:29,121 you can get this worked up over a sandwich? 233 00:08:30,029 --> 00:08:32,473 - Come here. - Yeah. Hey. It's okay. 234 00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:33,537 Ohh. 235 00:08:33,624 --> 00:08:34,848 You're smelling us. 236 00:08:34,935 --> 00:08:37,309 I smell guilt and pickles. 237 00:08:38,702 --> 00:08:39,717 Aah! 238 00:08:39,804 --> 00:08:41,146 Sorry, fireman habit. 239 00:08:41,233 --> 00:08:42,650 Your mom said you were up here. 240 00:08:42,737 --> 00:08:44,395 You're the best boyfriend. 241 00:08:45,155 --> 00:08:46,187 That's her, huh? 242 00:08:46,274 --> 00:08:47,265 Yep. 243 00:08:47,359 --> 00:08:48,708 People said she was difficult, 244 00:08:48,795 --> 00:08:50,443 but she was an amazing woman 245 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,497 who didn't conform to anyone's idea 246 00:08:52,584 --> 00:08:53,746 of who she should be. 247 00:08:53,882 --> 00:08:56,777 There are a lot of photos of her being escorted out of places. 248 00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:58,452 Yeah. 249 00:08:59,342 --> 00:09:02,020 Well, it must feel good to know that... 250 00:09:02,107 --> 00:09:05,428 I mean not good. Everything must feel bad. 251 00:09:05,515 --> 00:09:07,965 I'm sorry. I'm bad at this whole death thing. 252 00:09:08,052 --> 00:09:09,762 And I see a lot of it at work. 253 00:09:09,857 --> 00:09:13,017 I mean, nobody ever feeds the station goldfish. 254 00:09:13,104 --> 00:09:14,887 It's not just hard for you. 255 00:09:15,199 --> 00:09:17,675 My brother can't stop cracking jokes, 256 00:09:17,762 --> 00:09:20,703 my sister's eating like a bear about to hibernate, 257 00:09:20,790 --> 00:09:24,075 and meanwhile, I'm just sitting here thinking, 258 00:09:24,162 --> 00:09:28,105 "Wow, you're here one second, and then poof... 259 00:09:28,831 --> 00:09:30,207 you're not." 260 00:09:32,511 --> 00:09:34,652 I know how sad you must be. 261 00:09:36,206 --> 00:09:37,375 Take off your shirt. 262 00:09:37,462 --> 00:09:38,502 - What? - Fine. 263 00:09:38,589 --> 00:09:40,651 - I'll run things. - Wow. 264 00:09:44,974 --> 00:09:47,323 Okay, very funny! 265 00:09:47,410 --> 00:09:49,541 Who did this?! 266 00:09:54,224 --> 00:09:56,355 Santa Marķ­a, Madre de Dios, ruega por nosotros pecadores. 267 00:09:56,442 --> 00:09:58,119 Santa Marķ­a, Madre de Dios, ruega por nosotros pecadores, 268 00:09:58,206 --> 00:10:00,282 ahora y en la hora... Aah! 269 00:10:01,364 --> 00:10:03,393 Santa Marķa, Madre de Dios, ruega por nosotros pecadores, 270 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:05,627 ahora y en la hora de nuestra muerte. Amen. 271 00:10:08,161 --> 00:10:10,566 Hey, I haven't seen Alex since she yelled at us. 272 00:10:10,653 --> 00:10:11,659 Is she okay up there? 273 00:10:11,746 --> 00:10:13,191 Now that I think about it, 274 00:10:13,278 --> 00:10:15,323 it did sound like she was crying a minute ago. 275 00:10:15,410 --> 00:10:18,707 We should check on her. This is classic Alex. 276 00:10:18,794 --> 00:10:21,316 She's criticizing how we're processing Nana's death 277 00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:23,573 because she doesn't know what to do with her own feelings. 278 00:10:23,660 --> 00:10:26,193 Meanwhile, she's taking it harder than anybody. 279 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:28,340 - Aah! Get out! - Oh, that's not good. 280 00:10:31,016 --> 00:10:32,048 Ohh! 281 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:34,031 Do you remember when, um, 282 00:10:34,118 --> 00:10:35,889 she wouldn't pay for my voice lessons 283 00:10:35,976 --> 00:10:37,880 because she said she wanted to save the money 284 00:10:37,967 --> 00:10:39,529 in case I ended up with Dad's nose? 285 00:10:39,616 --> 00:10:42,270 You know, we... we could stick to nice stories today. 286 00:10:42,359 --> 00:10:45,520 Mom was a real person. She was flawed. 287 00:10:45,607 --> 00:10:48,350 She made me wear pants to prom. 288 00:10:48,437 --> 00:10:49,880 She said it would "slow down" 289 00:10:49,967 --> 00:10:51,882 whatever mistake I was about to make. 290 00:10:51,969 --> 00:10:54,130 Well, I guess I never brought out that side of her. 291 00:10:54,217 --> 00:10:57,176 Or maybe you just let her get away with everything. 292 00:10:57,315 --> 00:10:58,685 - I... - Trick or treat! 293 00:10:58,772 --> 00:11:00,279 Happy Halloween! 294 00:11:00,366 --> 00:11:01,841 What are you... What are you supposed to be? 295 00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:04,013 - I was gonna go as a unicorn... - Uh-huh. 296 00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:06,873 But then I decided to be pajama girl. 297 00:11:07,092 --> 00:11:08,866 That was two weeks of sewing well spent. 298 00:11:08,953 --> 00:11:10,286 Well, kids don't always appreciate 299 00:11:10,373 --> 00:11:11,431 what moms do for them. 300 00:11:11,518 --> 00:11:12,678 Moms can be controlling. 301 00:11:12,765 --> 00:11:13,794 Well, sometimes moms don't want 302 00:11:13,881 --> 00:11:15,544 their daughters to embarrass themselves. 303 00:11:15,631 --> 00:11:16,663 Embarrass? 304 00:11:16,750 --> 00:11:19,069 Like throwing a surprise moon goddess party 305 00:11:19,156 --> 00:11:20,896 for their daughter's first period? 306 00:11:20,983 --> 00:11:23,233 It was a celebration of your womanhood! 307 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,663 Every year I say I'm not coming back to this house. 308 00:11:25,750 --> 00:11:27,021 Okay. Just today... Oh, God. 309 00:11:27,108 --> 00:11:29,677 Just... Just today, could you not harp 310 00:11:29,764 --> 00:11:32,397 on how awful Mom was to you? 311 00:11:32,484 --> 00:11:34,481 She would have done anything for us! 312 00:11:34,568 --> 00:11:37,202 Mitchell, just because Mom is dead 313 00:11:37,289 --> 00:11:38,810 doesn't make her a saint! 314 00:11:38,897 --> 00:11:40,544 - Hey. - What? 315 00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:42,715 You're scaring the kids. 316 00:11:48,070 --> 00:11:49,443 Ugh. What is wrong with me? 317 00:11:49,530 --> 00:11:50,918 Nothing is wrong with you. 318 00:11:51,005 --> 00:11:53,341 You're just a freak that gets turned on by tragedies. 319 00:11:53,428 --> 00:11:54,460 Oh, my God. 320 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,021 Is that why I'm dating a firefighter? 321 00:11:56,108 --> 00:11:57,982 Oh, I hope I'm more to you than that, babe. 322 00:11:58,069 --> 00:12:00,708 By the way, there was a plane crash in Tustin. 323 00:12:02,807 --> 00:12:05,397 You know, there's a deep psycho-spiritual connection 324 00:12:05,484 --> 00:12:06,569 between sex and death. 325 00:12:06,656 --> 00:12:08,146 Look at Freud. Thanatos, Eros... 326 00:12:08,233 --> 00:12:09,817 locked in an eternal struggle. 327 00:12:10,070 --> 00:12:11,718 How do you know any of those words? 328 00:12:11,805 --> 00:12:14,255 I don't know. Maybe I remembered something from school somehow. 329 00:12:14,342 --> 00:12:16,225 They say everything you've ever heard 330 00:12:16,312 --> 00:12:18,966 is locked in your brain somewhere. Another fun fact... 331 00:12:19,053 --> 00:12:22,239 your brain burns 20% of the calories you consume. 332 00:12:22,445 --> 00:12:23,677 My burrito! 333 00:12:23,764 --> 00:12:25,117 Another one? 334 00:12:25,641 --> 00:12:26,928 Oh, my God. 335 00:12:27,015 --> 00:12:28,607 I think your brain is finally working 336 00:12:28,694 --> 00:12:30,288 because, for the first time ever, 337 00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:31,802 you're not starving yourself. 338 00:12:31,889 --> 00:12:34,044 That is a credible hypothesis. 339 00:12:34,234 --> 00:12:36,542 Huh. Eating, are we? 340 00:12:36,937 --> 00:12:39,155 You didn't happen to grab an Italian hero 341 00:12:39,242 --> 00:12:40,261 out of the fridge, did you? 342 00:12:40,348 --> 00:12:41,840 Nope, but that sounds delicious. 343 00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:43,419 I'd go to town on an Italian hero 344 00:12:43,506 --> 00:12:44,778 - right now. - That's funny, 345 00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:47,654 - 'cause Alex just finished... - I will rip your tongue out. 346 00:12:47,741 --> 00:12:49,615 Oh, my gosh. 347 00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:51,771 What was I thinking coming to West Hollywood 348 00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:53,317 on Halloween night? 349 00:12:53,546 --> 00:12:55,319 Hey. Give the horn a rest. 350 00:12:55,406 --> 00:12:57,106 The parade's going by. You're gonna be sitting here a while. 351 00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:58,630 Sorry, Officer. 352 00:13:01,875 --> 00:13:04,147 I don't get down to this part of town that often. 353 00:13:04,234 --> 00:13:05,450 That's... That's not a real cop, right? 354 00:13:05,537 --> 00:13:07,395 Uh... mm, no. 355 00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:09,513 You know, I'm impressed you're still wearing that dress. 356 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:11,349 Oh, well, I'm wearing two pair of Spanx 357 00:13:11,436 --> 00:13:13,303 and was on a diuretic for 48 hours. 358 00:13:13,390 --> 00:13:15,047 As we say where I'm from, you don't teach 359 00:13:15,134 --> 00:13:16,149 your dog to play the banjo 360 00:13:16,236 --> 00:13:18,430 and then skip the talent show. 361 00:13:20,062 --> 00:13:21,352 Oh, man. 362 00:13:21,453 --> 00:13:23,426 This ice cream is gonna melt. 363 00:13:23,902 --> 00:13:26,352 Well, grab a spoon. 364 00:13:27,812 --> 00:13:30,122 - Somebody should enjoy it. - Yeah. 365 00:13:35,851 --> 00:13:38,465 You know, we've been so focused on Mitchell and Claire, 366 00:13:38,875 --> 00:13:41,233 I haven't had a chance to really... 367 00:13:42,078 --> 00:13:43,460 Yeah. I know. 368 00:13:43,547 --> 00:13:45,575 First time I met her, she threatened to murder me 369 00:13:45,662 --> 00:13:47,638 if I ever made her son unhappy. 370 00:13:47,768 --> 00:13:50,010 Went into pretty graphic detail... 371 00:13:50,347 --> 00:13:52,887 described how she'd get rid of my body and everything. 372 00:13:53,081 --> 00:13:54,032 I was like, "Wow, 373 00:13:54,119 --> 00:13:55,985 this woman will never trust me." 374 00:13:56,072 --> 00:13:57,598 That's so her. 375 00:13:58,868 --> 00:14:00,505 Then one time, she overheard me talking 376 00:14:00,592 --> 00:14:04,840 about drinking dandelion wine with my... with my grandma. 377 00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:06,654 She went over to the kitchen cabinet 378 00:14:06,741 --> 00:14:07,858 and pulled out a bottle. 379 00:14:07,945 --> 00:14:10,497 Apparently, she had an aunt that taught her how to make it. 380 00:14:10,601 --> 00:14:12,943 And we sat there at the kitchen table 381 00:14:13,030 --> 00:14:15,475 drinking and swapping stories 382 00:14:15,562 --> 00:14:17,872 - about growing up in the boondocks. - Mm. 383 00:14:18,016 --> 00:14:20,989 The wine made me go blind for a bit, but... 384 00:14:21,601 --> 00:14:23,866 I'll never forget her voice, 385 00:14:23,953 --> 00:14:24,990 slurring in the darkness, 386 00:14:25,077 --> 00:14:27,997 telling me she understood why Mitchell loved me. 387 00:14:28,710 --> 00:14:30,638 I remember dropping Haley off at school 388 00:14:30,725 --> 00:14:32,122 for the first time. 389 00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:35,143 Her staring at me with those giant eyes, 390 00:14:35,601 --> 00:14:39,279 her lips quivering, crying for me to stay. 391 00:14:39,366 --> 00:14:41,059 And I, uh... 392 00:14:41,953 --> 00:14:43,685 I told her everything is gonna be all right, 393 00:14:43,772 --> 00:14:46,130 and then I stagger back to my car and I start crying. 394 00:14:46,217 --> 00:14:47,404 - Oh, gosh. - And you know 395 00:14:47,491 --> 00:14:49,317 who was there waiting for me? 396 00:14:49,937 --> 00:14:51,046 Well, if it's not Dede, 397 00:14:51,133 --> 00:14:53,232 it's kind of a touching but pointless story. 398 00:14:53,319 --> 00:14:54,873 It was Dede. 399 00:14:55,359 --> 00:14:58,122 She knew it was gonna be a hard day for me. 400 00:14:58,507 --> 00:15:00,450 I can't believe she's gone. 401 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:02,778 I'm gonna miss her. 402 00:15:03,531 --> 00:15:04,759 Me too. 403 00:15:05,265 --> 00:15:07,505 - To Dede. - To Dede. 404 00:15:17,502 --> 00:15:19,336 Aah! 405 00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:23,937 Aah! Okay, you want to talk? Let's talk. 406 00:15:24,059 --> 00:15:27,093 I know that you never liked me. 407 00:15:27,180 --> 00:15:29,420 And I was always nice. 408 00:15:29,556 --> 00:15:30,984 Okay, fine, one time, 409 00:15:31,071 --> 00:15:33,539 I did use your toothbrush on Stella. 410 00:15:33,626 --> 00:15:36,250 But mostly I admired you for raising 411 00:15:36,337 --> 00:15:39,859 such wonderful children and for helping make Jay 412 00:15:39,946 --> 00:15:43,235 the amazing man that I fell in love with. 413 00:15:43,340 --> 00:15:45,470 I guess I never thanked you 414 00:15:45,557 --> 00:15:47,048 for all of that. 415 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:50,263 So, if you can hear me now, 416 00:15:50,801 --> 00:15:52,590 thank you. 417 00:15:53,145 --> 00:15:56,158 And can you please tell Rosa Garcia 418 00:15:56,245 --> 00:15:58,609 to stop haunting me, too? 419 00:15:59,316 --> 00:16:01,073 And Marta Blanco, 420 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:04,603 Marisol Gutierrez, and Cecila Matos? 421 00:16:04,690 --> 00:16:05,840 Gracias. 422 00:16:08,784 --> 00:16:10,112 Look, I'm sorry. 423 00:16:10,199 --> 00:16:12,854 I think I've been trying to make Mom into the bad guy. 424 00:16:12,941 --> 00:16:14,287 It's not gonna make it any easier. 425 00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:16,235 That's not it. I... 426 00:16:16,457 --> 00:16:17,900 I just feel so guilty. 427 00:16:17,987 --> 00:16:19,105 Why? 428 00:16:19,496 --> 00:16:21,886 Because sometimes, 429 00:16:21,973 --> 00:16:23,542 I was as mean to Mom 430 00:16:23,629 --> 00:16:25,495 - as she was to me. - Oh. 431 00:16:25,582 --> 00:16:26,878 She was just hard on you 432 00:16:26,965 --> 00:16:29,001 because sh-she believed in you so much. 433 00:16:29,088 --> 00:16:31,102 Why do you always have to defend her? 434 00:16:31,355 --> 00:16:33,946 Because I loved her! I... 435 00:16:35,145 --> 00:16:36,635 I can't believe I'm saying that in the past tense. 436 00:16:36,722 --> 00:16:40,565 I... I'm sorry that I had a better relationship with her. 437 00:16:40,652 --> 00:16:42,736 And I'm... I'm sorry that it bothered you, okay? 438 00:16:42,823 --> 00:16:44,619 You have a better relationship with Dad, 439 00:16:44,706 --> 00:16:47,235 and I know he loves me just as much. 440 00:16:47,402 --> 00:16:48,707 Mmm... 441 00:16:48,824 --> 00:16:51,042 Yeah, and when Dad dies, 442 00:16:51,129 --> 00:16:54,259 he's gonna leave, knowing, how much I loved him. 443 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:56,150 I'm not sure Mom knew that. 444 00:16:56,237 --> 00:16:57,680 Of course she did. 445 00:16:57,832 --> 00:16:58,854 Really? 446 00:16:58,941 --> 00:17:00,908 Because unlike you, the last time I talked to her, 447 00:17:00,995 --> 00:17:03,321 we got in a huge fight. 448 00:17:03,410 --> 00:17:04,409 Mm-hmm. 449 00:17:04,496 --> 00:17:06,438 You get to remember 450 00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:08,899 telling hery ou loved her and laughing, 451 00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:11,671 and I get to remember getting in some stupid argument 452 00:17:11,758 --> 00:17:13,407 about a Facebook post. 453 00:17:13,494 --> 00:17:15,704 The one where she said putting eucalyptus oils 454 00:17:15,791 --> 00:17:17,804 on the soles of your feet is a natural birth control? 455 00:17:17,891 --> 00:17:19,219 Yes. Yes. 456 00:17:19,306 --> 00:17:21,414 That's the one. And you have 457 00:17:21,501 --> 00:17:23,053 a 12-year-old daughter who reads those posts... 458 00:17:23,140 --> 00:17:24,686 you might want to tell her that's not science. 459 00:17:24,773 --> 00:17:27,562 Okay, okay, remember that last amazing conversation 460 00:17:27,649 --> 00:17:29,342 - I had with Mom? I'm sorry, - Oh, for God's sakes. 461 00:17:29,429 --> 00:17:31,287 But there's no other way to describe it, okay? 462 00:17:31,374 --> 00:17:33,194 She told me about your fight, and she... 463 00:17:33,281 --> 00:17:34,764 she told me how upset she was. 464 00:17:34,851 --> 00:17:37,802 She-She said she was gonna call you to apologize. 465 00:17:38,251 --> 00:17:39,983 Oh, my God. 466 00:17:40,302 --> 00:17:43,092 She left me a voicemail a couple days ago, 467 00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:44,709 but I was saving it till the next time 468 00:17:44,796 --> 00:17:46,576 I had to yell at somebody at work. 469 00:17:47,352 --> 00:17:48,563 Okay. 470 00:17:49,852 --> 00:17:51,953 Hey, honey. It's Mom. 471 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:53,787 I just want to apologize. 472 00:17:53,874 --> 00:17:56,357 I should not have lost my temper. 473 00:17:56,446 --> 00:17:59,304 Shaman Phoenix Feather's family-planning advice 474 00:17:59,391 --> 00:18:00,758 may not be for everyone, 475 00:18:00,845 --> 00:18:02,491 and you just want to keep your daughters safe. 476 00:18:02,578 --> 00:18:03,765 I get it. 477 00:18:03,852 --> 00:18:05,592 I have a daughter of my own, 478 00:18:05,679 --> 00:18:07,943 and I know how much she means to me. 479 00:18:08,030 --> 00:18:11,594 Anyway, I'm sorry. I love you, and I always will. 480 00:18:11,681 --> 00:18:13,091 I love you, too, Mom. 481 00:18:14,268 --> 00:18:18,209 Also, I saw your new photo on social media. 482 00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:20,601 Are you part of some protest 483 00:18:20,688 --> 00:18:22,562 where you're not allowed to wash your hair? 484 00:18:22,649 --> 00:18:24,022 Or are you just trying to be... 485 00:18:24,109 --> 00:18:26,834 I'm gonna listen to that later. 486 00:18:26,921 --> 00:18:28,427 Huh. 487 00:18:28,945 --> 00:18:32,106 - Weird hearing her voice. - Oh, Daddy. 488 00:18:35,149 --> 00:18:37,326 You already know this, but I want to say it again. 489 00:18:37,413 --> 00:18:39,633 We both love you so much. 490 00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:42,447 Yeah. And I know we've... we've had our ups and downs, 491 00:18:42,534 --> 00:18:44,927 but I've loved being your son. 492 00:18:45,438 --> 00:18:47,756 - Hmm. - Are you... 493 00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:50,088 buttering me up 'cause you ate my sandwich? 494 00:18:50,175 --> 00:18:52,281 - Oh! - What is wrong with you? 495 00:18:52,368 --> 00:18:55,014 Seriously. What is this obsession with a sandwich? 496 00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:56,935 I waited in line! 497 00:18:57,157 --> 00:18:59,310 I was thinking about it for months! 498 00:18:59,696 --> 00:19:01,092 You know who would get this? 499 00:19:01,179 --> 00:19:04,359 Dede. That woman appreciated a good sandwich. 500 00:19:04,446 --> 00:19:06,836 And she made the best ones, you know, 501 00:19:06,923 --> 00:19:08,272 when we were first married. 502 00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:10,438 In that little house in the valley. 503 00:19:10,696 --> 00:19:12,054 And we didn't have any money, 504 00:19:12,141 --> 00:19:13,881 but she would go miles out of her way 505 00:19:13,968 --> 00:19:15,928 to get the bread with the crunchy crust 506 00:19:16,015 --> 00:19:17,297 from that French bakery. 507 00:19:17,384 --> 00:19:21,018 It was hard on the outside, soft and warm on the inside, 508 00:19:21,023 --> 00:19:24,388 and she'd say, "That's just like you, Jay." 509 00:19:26,313 --> 00:19:27,881 She was nice to me back then. 510 00:19:27,968 --> 00:19:29,165 Yeah. 511 00:19:30,044 --> 00:19:31,844 Uh. It's funny, 512 00:19:31,931 --> 00:19:35,931 I... happened to drive past there a while ago. 513 00:19:36,329 --> 00:19:38,334 That bakery's not there anymore. 514 00:19:39,587 --> 00:19:42,373 And damn if I wasn't depressed for a week. 515 00:19:43,438 --> 00:19:45,826 You know, I didn't realize... 516 00:19:47,431 --> 00:19:49,611 how much it meant to me 517 00:19:50,001 --> 00:19:51,849 till it was gone, you know? 518 00:19:52,048 --> 00:19:53,217 - Yeah. - Yeah. 519 00:19:53,304 --> 00:19:55,193 - Yeah. - Yeah. 520 00:19:56,173 --> 00:19:57,281 Look, yeah, 521 00:19:57,368 --> 00:19:59,935 Look at that beautiful family moment. 522 00:20:00,147 --> 00:20:03,271 Yeah, look right at it. 523 00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:08,435 I asked myself, "What would Nana want today?" 524 00:20:08,595 --> 00:20:11,131 She'd want me to mess with Gloria. 525 00:20:11,712 --> 00:20:13,927 Also, I ate Grandpa's sandwich. 526 00:20:15,091 --> 00:20:17,544 Oh, God. Jerry forwarded me an e-mail 527 00:20:17,631 --> 00:20:18,889 from Mom's women's group. 528 00:20:18,976 --> 00:20:20,858 I-I-I can't even read it. 529 00:20:20,945 --> 00:20:21,986 - You do it. I... - Oh, okay. 530 00:20:22,073 --> 00:20:26,664 Um..."Our sincere condolences on the loss of your loved one, Dede." 531 00:20:26,751 --> 00:20:28,225 Yeah. What happened to Mom? 532 00:20:28,312 --> 00:20:29,586 - Oh, let's see. - Yeah. 533 00:20:29,673 --> 00:20:32,209 "On the third night, Dede wandered away from the group 534 00:20:32,296 --> 00:20:34,414 and encountered a pack of starving 535 00:20:34,501 --> 00:20:36,295 - timberwolves." - Oh my God, Mom. - Oh my God, Mom. 536 00:20:36,382 --> 00:20:37,656 "As you know, Dede long believed 537 00:20:37,743 --> 00:20:39,038 she could comunicate with animals, 538 00:20:39,125 --> 00:20:41,211 so using a mix of howls and barks 539 00:20:41,298 --> 00:20:43,960 she convinced them to seek food elsewhere." 540 00:20:44,047 --> 00:20:45,819 Huh, guess that wasn't that. Let's see. 541 00:20:45,906 --> 00:20:49,264 Uhhh, "Later she ignored that thin ice sign 542 00:20:49,351 --> 00:20:50,672 and plunged..." 543 00:20:50,759 --> 00:20:52,489 Hang on, saved by one of the wolves. 544 00:20:52,649 --> 00:20:54,875 Uh... no, no,"She deeply 545 00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:59,173 offended a tribe of inuits by interrupting a secret dagger... 546 00:20:59,260 --> 00:21:00,936 She briefly swallowed..." 547 00:21:01,023 --> 00:21:02,187 Uh... Here it is! 548 00:21:02,274 --> 00:21:05,936 "On the trip's final morning, Dede was found in her room. 549 00:21:06,023 --> 00:21:09,168 She had apparently passed peacefully in her sleep 550 00:21:09,255 --> 00:21:11,195 as a smile graced her face 551 00:21:11,282 --> 00:21:15,881 and her hands clutched 10 pages of sugestions for the hotel staff." 552 00:21:15,968 --> 00:21:19,295 - That is so Mom. - Easy.