1 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,368 A gang fight. 2 00:00:12,436 --> 00:00:14,737 I just want him to fit in. 3 00:00:14,805 --> 00:00:18,073 I'm gonna take a shower. Do you care to join me? 4 00:00:18,141 --> 00:00:21,110 You know, honey, there's a gun in the footlocker in the garage. 5 00:00:21,178 --> 00:00:22,878 If I ever say "no" to that question, 6 00:00:22,946 --> 00:00:24,213 I want you to use it on me. 7 00:00:24,281 --> 00:00:25,781 [ chuckles ] 8 00:00:25,849 --> 00:00:27,683 [ haley speaking indistinctly ] 9 00:00:27,751 --> 00:00:28,918 [ footsteps approaching ] 10 00:00:28,985 --> 00:00:29,919 Shh, shh, shh! 11 00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:31,720 What's wrong? 12 00:00:31,788 --> 00:00:34,890 [ continues speaking indistinctly ] 13 00:00:34,958 --> 00:00:36,959 Why aren't they trying to hurt each other? 14 00:00:37,027 --> 00:00:39,829 I don't know, but I'm afraid to move. 15 00:00:39,896 --> 00:00:41,997 [ laughing ] you're really good at this. 16 00:00:42,065 --> 00:00:43,032 Thanks. 17 00:00:43,099 --> 00:00:46,001 What is happening, claire? 18 00:00:46,069 --> 00:00:47,736 Cameron: Mmm. Mitchell: What do you think? 19 00:00:47,804 --> 00:00:49,405 Now, that is a scone. 20 00:00:49,473 --> 00:00:51,841 No butter, nonfat. 21 00:00:51,908 --> 00:00:53,108 Shut up. 22 00:00:53,176 --> 00:00:54,543 [ doorbell rings ] 23 00:00:54,611 --> 00:00:56,278 I'm gonna go check on lily. 24 00:01:00,116 --> 00:01:01,884 Surprise! 25 00:01:01,952 --> 00:01:03,686 Mom! [ laughs ] 26 00:01:03,753 --> 00:01:05,321 [ thud, bird squawks ] 27 00:01:05,388 --> 00:01:06,856 Gloria: What's that? 28 00:01:06,923 --> 00:01:09,959 Sounds like a bird hit the window. 29 00:01:10,026 --> 00:01:12,294 Oh, god, that's a bad sign. 30 00:01:12,362 --> 00:01:14,797 Ow! That hurt, jerk! 31 00:01:14,865 --> 00:01:17,032 Ow! I'm gonna kill you, stupid! 32 00:01:17,100 --> 00:01:18,634 Ow! [ clatter ] 33 00:01:18,702 --> 00:01:20,069 Wh happened? 34 00:01:20,136 --> 00:01:21,904 Now I'm sad. Uhh! 35 00:01:21,972 --> 00:01:22,905 Hi, honey. 36 00:01:22,973 --> 00:01:24,440 Hi. 37 00:01:24,508 --> 00:01:25,741 I-I didn't know you were in town. 38 00:01:25,809 --> 00:01:26,942 You didn't call. 39 00:01:27,010 --> 00:01:29,278 Well, I couldn't wait to see your new baby. 40 00:01:29,346 --> 00:01:30,646 Where is she? 41 00:01:30,714 --> 00:01:31,747 Cameron: Mitchell, who was that? 42 00:01:31,815 --> 00:01:32,848 Uh, it's my mom. 43 00:01:32,916 --> 00:01:34,016 Oh, yeah, right. 44 00:01:34,084 --> 00:01:35,384 'cause the last time she was here, 45 00:01:35,452 --> 00:01:37,353 The refrigerator magnets rearranged themselves 46 00:01:37,420 --> 00:01:38,187 Into a penta-- 47 00:01:38,255 --> 00:01:40,689 Grandma! 48 00:01:40,757 --> 00:01:41,790 Hey. 49 00:01:50,934 --> 00:01:53,636 -- Sync by honeybunny -- www.addic7ed.com 50 00:01:56,139 --> 00:01:58,340 Mom...Mom, what are you doing to her legs? 51 00:01:58,408 --> 00:02:00,743 Tai chi. I did it every day in sedona. 52 00:02:00,810 --> 00:02:02,478 Cameron, you should try it. 53 00:02:02,546 --> 00:02:04,513 [ chuckles ] 54 00:02:04,581 --> 00:02:09,151 Mitchell's mother has a problem...With me. 55 00:02:09,219 --> 00:02:10,853 Last christmas, for example, 56 00:02:10,921 --> 00:02:13,322 She gave me a piece of exercise equipment 57 00:02:13,390 --> 00:02:14,823 And a lettuce dryer. 58 00:02:14,891 --> 00:02:16,191 So, to recap, 59 00:02:16,259 --> 00:02:18,193 I gave her a gorgeous pair of diamond earrings, 60 00:02:18,261 --> 00:02:21,630 And she gave me a hint. 61 00:02:21,698 --> 00:02:25,234 Dede: And living in sedona has been transformational. 62 00:02:25,302 --> 00:02:29,238 I get up every morning, and I go to a vortex meditation site 63 00:02:29,306 --> 00:02:32,575 And work with a shaman to finally understand 64 00:02:32,642 --> 00:02:34,677 How to live my spirituality. 65 00:02:34,744 --> 00:02:36,145 Yikes. 66 00:02:36,212 --> 00:02:38,681 And I've learned that the only way 67 00:02:38,748 --> 00:02:42,551 I can move to the next level of my awakening 68 00:02:42,619 --> 00:02:47,489 Is if we all can somehow get past... 69 00:02:47,557 --> 00:02:48,524 The incident. 70 00:02:48,592 --> 00:02:50,259 Oh, no. 71 00:02:50,327 --> 00:02:52,227 The incident. 72 00:02:52,295 --> 00:02:54,096 Oh, boy. 73 00:02:54,164 --> 00:02:57,366 I would like to congratulate jay and the lovely gloria. 74 00:02:57,434 --> 00:02:59,868 I'm very happy for them. 75 00:02:59,936 --> 00:03:02,471 I wanted a big, beautiful wedding with jay 76 00:03:02,539 --> 00:03:04,406 Because my ex-husband and I got married 77 00:03:04,474 --> 00:03:07,776 In a tiny, little office of a judge in colombia. 78 00:03:07,844 --> 00:03:09,578 Well, my mother wanted to go to the wedding 79 00:03:09,646 --> 00:03:11,680 To show everyone how okay she was with all of it, 80 00:03:11,748 --> 00:03:15,250 So I convinced dad and gloria to invite her. 81 00:03:15,318 --> 00:03:18,854 Who warned you that that was the worst idea ever? 82 00:03:18,922 --> 00:03:19,855 Anyone? 83 00:03:19,923 --> 00:03:21,056 Anyone? 84 00:03:21,124 --> 00:03:22,658 Oh. [ chuckles ] 85 00:03:22,726 --> 00:03:24,259 Of course, I've -- I've moved on. 86 00:03:24,327 --> 00:03:25,527 [ chuckles ] 87 00:03:25,595 --> 00:03:26,895 I was supposed to come with a date, 88 00:03:26,963 --> 00:03:28,931 But he just hurt his back, 89 00:03:28,999 --> 00:03:33,369 Which is very ironic because he's young and -- and healthy. 90 00:03:33,436 --> 00:03:35,738 My mom started drinking these cocktails 91 00:03:35,805 --> 00:03:37,940 Called "horny colombians" 92 00:03:38,008 --> 00:03:40,609 With some of gloria's uncles, 93 00:03:40,677 --> 00:03:43,812 Whom, apparently, the drink was named after. 94 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:45,280 Phil: Oh, come on, they were funny. 95 00:03:45,348 --> 00:03:46,715 [ laughter ] 96 00:03:46,783 --> 00:03:48,684 They kept patting my butt. 97 00:03:48,752 --> 00:03:51,654 [ chuckling ] somebody's full of herself. 98 00:03:51,721 --> 00:03:55,391 It's a -- it's a colombian wedding tradition, they said. 99 00:03:55,458 --> 00:03:56,558 [ glass clinking ] 100 00:03:56,626 --> 00:03:59,161 I would like to make a toast. 101 00:03:59,229 --> 00:04:01,397 Yeah, nana got totally wasted. 102 00:04:01,464 --> 00:04:03,732 Uh, it was really funny. 103 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,635 Then it was gross. 104 00:04:06,703 --> 00:04:09,838 To the bride and the groom, my ex. 105 00:04:09,906 --> 00:04:12,474 35 years we were together, 106 00:04:12,542 --> 00:04:16,547 And he couldn't wait 10 minutes to run off with charo. 107 00:04:16,614 --> 00:04:17,881 I'm kidding. [ chuckles ] 108 00:04:17,949 --> 00:04:19,183 [ rim shot ] 109 00:04:19,250 --> 00:04:23,053 Seriously, I knew they were perfect for each other 110 00:04:23,121 --> 00:04:25,089 When I saw his wallet and her boobs. 111 00:04:25,156 --> 00:04:26,857 [ laughs ] 112 00:04:26,925 --> 00:04:28,559 Take your hands off me. 113 00:04:28,626 --> 00:04:29,827 Mom. Mom. 114 00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:32,062 Oh, relax, mitchell. 115 00:04:32,130 --> 00:04:33,964 What, did you take your claire pill? 116 00:04:34,032 --> 00:04:36,200 Okay, l-let's just -- let's get a little fresh air, okay? Come on. 117 00:04:36,267 --> 00:04:38,502 And then it got weird. 118 00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:40,437 [ hispanic accent ] I'm gloria. I'm gloria. Kiss me. 119 00:04:40,505 --> 00:04:42,106 Oh, hey, kiss me. 120 00:04:42,173 --> 00:04:46,110 [ guests gasping, murmuring ] 121 00:04:46,177 --> 00:04:48,479 Nana is really strong. 122 00:04:48,546 --> 00:04:50,147 Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi! 123 00:04:50,215 --> 00:04:52,683 Ooh! Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi! 124 00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:55,886 During my vows to my first husband, 125 00:04:55,954 --> 00:04:59,089 Drug dealers burst in and assassinated the judge. 126 00:04:59,157 --> 00:05:00,290 This was way worse. 127 00:05:00,358 --> 00:05:02,059 What can I say? I drive women crazy. 128 00:05:02,127 --> 00:05:04,094 [ laughs ] 129 00:05:04,162 --> 00:05:06,330 It's too soon, I guess. 130 00:05:06,398 --> 00:05:09,400 Everybody is going to be there, mom. 131 00:05:09,467 --> 00:05:10,634 Claire: I don't care. 132 00:05:10,702 --> 00:05:12,669 Your father and I are not about to let you 133 00:05:12,737 --> 00:05:13,971 Drive two hours to go to a concert 134 00:05:14,039 --> 00:05:15,973 And then spend the night with a bunch of boys, 135 00:05:16,041 --> 00:05:18,542 Especially that 17-year-old hormone you're dating. 136 00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:19,977 It's totally supervised. 137 00:05:20,045 --> 00:05:21,311 Oh, really? By whom? 138 00:05:21,379 --> 00:05:22,946 By spencer patine's uncle. 139 00:05:23,014 --> 00:05:24,314 Who's spencer patine? 140 00:05:24,382 --> 00:05:25,916 You know spencer -- the guy with the arm. 141 00:05:25,984 --> 00:05:28,352 Wait. What kind of arm? What does that even mean? 142 00:05:28,420 --> 00:05:29,620 His uncle is uncle tobey. 143 00:05:29,687 --> 00:05:31,021 Oh, uncle tobey. 144 00:05:31,089 --> 00:05:32,623 I'll be sure to include that in my amber alert. 145 00:05:32,690 --> 00:05:33,891 Oh, my god. 146 00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:36,126 Okaycan I step in here? I think I can help. 147 00:05:36,194 --> 00:05:37,594 Haley, what your mom is worried about 148 00:05:37,662 --> 00:05:39,163 Is you getting your heart broken 149 00:05:39,230 --> 00:05:41,598 When dylan goes off to college next year. 150 00:05:41,666 --> 00:05:43,133 He's not going to college. That's not what I'm even think-- 151 00:05:43,201 --> 00:05:44,635 He's not going to college? 152 00:05:44,702 --> 00:05:46,804 He's in a band, okay? They're going on tour. 153 00:05:46,871 --> 00:05:48,639 Oh, this just gets better and better. 154 00:05:48,706 --> 00:05:51,175 Why are you always on me about everything?! 155 00:05:51,242 --> 00:05:53,911 Because you need to understand -- okay, now, everybody, calm down. 156 00:05:53,978 --> 00:05:55,946 Let's start from the beginning. 157 00:05:56,014 --> 00:05:57,781 What's wrong with spencer's arm? 158 00:05:57,849 --> 00:05:59,083 Ugh! 159 00:06:03,455 --> 00:06:04,521 Mom, I'm home! 160 00:06:04,589 --> 00:06:05,689 Gloria: Hi, baby! 161 00:06:05,757 --> 00:06:08,192 Did you have fun at the slumber party? 162 00:06:08,259 --> 00:06:10,661 You must be exhausted. 163 00:06:10,728 --> 00:06:12,029 No, I'm not tired at all. 164 00:06:12,097 --> 00:06:14,665 I was the first one to fall asleep. 165 00:06:14,732 --> 00:06:16,433 What's on your face? 166 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:18,535 A smile from having such a good time with my friends. 167 00:06:18,603 --> 00:06:20,471 No. Come here. 168 00:06:23,908 --> 00:06:25,242 Look. 169 00:06:25,310 --> 00:06:26,610 Oh. 170 00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:28,445 That's why they were laughing. 171 00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:31,748 I thought it was my funny take on current events. 172 00:06:31,816 --> 00:06:33,517 Why would they do something like that? 173 00:06:33,585 --> 00:06:34,651 Don't worry about it. 174 00:06:34,719 --> 00:06:36,553 Guys pull pranks like that all the time. 175 00:06:36,621 --> 00:06:38,188 You just got to prank 'em back. 176 00:06:38,256 --> 00:06:40,557 Just got to show 'em you're willing to give as good as you get. 177 00:06:42,861 --> 00:06:44,528 What do you think? 178 00:06:44,596 --> 00:06:49,032 Hmm, revenge... 179 00:06:49,100 --> 00:06:50,334 I like it. 180 00:06:51,335 --> 00:06:53,335 Well, mom, instead of scratching it down a wall, 181 00:06:54,012 --> 00:06:56,180 Maybe we should just try and repress it 182 00:06:56,248 --> 00:06:57,715 Like a -- like a normal family. 183 00:06:57,782 --> 00:07:00,017 I can't. I need closure. 184 00:07:00,085 --> 00:07:03,187 I'm about to embark on a new journey. 185 00:07:03,255 --> 00:07:05,089 I met a man. Really? 186 00:07:05,156 --> 00:07:06,657 His name is chas, 187 00:07:06,725 --> 00:07:09,293 And he's asked me to come live with him 188 00:07:09,361 --> 00:07:10,694 In his foreign land. 189 00:07:10,762 --> 00:07:11,862 Wow. Where? 190 00:07:11,930 --> 00:07:13,097 Canada. 191 00:07:13,164 --> 00:07:14,632 You're moving to -- to canada? 192 00:07:14,699 --> 00:07:16,166 French canada. 193 00:07:16,234 --> 00:07:17,201 [ plates clattering ] oh. 194 00:07:17,269 --> 00:07:19,603 Oh, that -- that's wonderful. 195 00:07:19,671 --> 00:07:21,171 It is wonderful. 196 00:07:21,239 --> 00:07:23,140 It just that when I think of all the awful things 197 00:07:23,208 --> 00:07:25,776 That I said to gloria and jay 198 00:07:25,844 --> 00:07:27,911 And you and claire, 199 00:07:27,979 --> 00:07:29,513 I feel such guilt. 200 00:07:29,581 --> 00:07:31,615 Give it time... And see banff. 201 00:07:31,683 --> 00:07:33,250 Cam, please. 202 00:07:33,318 --> 00:07:37,921 I just can't give myself to him sexually. 203 00:07:37,989 --> 00:07:39,857 Okay, mom. Did not see that coming. 204 00:07:39,924 --> 00:07:41,358 Oh, don't get me wrong. 205 00:07:41,426 --> 00:07:43,494 We satisfy each other down there. 206 00:07:43,561 --> 00:07:44,928 Oh... Yeah, don't want to... 207 00:07:44,996 --> 00:07:47,331 That's why I need everyone's forgiveness. 208 00:07:47,399 --> 00:07:49,633 I need your help, mitchell. Cameron: Did you hear that, mitchell? 209 00:07:49,701 --> 00:07:53,704 Your mom needs your help to make love to her new man, chas. 210 00:07:53,772 --> 00:07:55,372 That's not weird at all. 211 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:57,474 I -- [ chuckles ] 212 00:07:57,542 --> 00:07:59,610 I'm just not really sure what you're asking me to do, mom. 213 00:07:59,678 --> 00:08:01,345 Well, everyone's mad at me. 214 00:08:01,413 --> 00:08:03,013 Oh... 215 00:08:03,081 --> 00:08:05,983 Maybe you could pave the way so that I can apologize. 216 00:08:06,051 --> 00:08:09,253 Well, um...You know, we are actually 217 00:08:09,321 --> 00:08:11,622 All supposed to have Sunday dinner tonight, 218 00:08:11,690 --> 00:08:13,324 So maybe I could go around and ask everyone 219 00:08:13,391 --> 00:08:14,758 If it's okay foyou to join us. 220 00:08:14,826 --> 00:08:15,859 Oh! 221 00:08:15,927 --> 00:08:17,861 I knew I could count on you. 222 00:08:17,929 --> 00:08:19,930 Oh, my beautiful boy. 223 00:08:19,998 --> 00:08:21,865 I love you so much. 224 00:08:21,933 --> 00:08:24,301 There's a fish in nature that swims around 225 00:08:24,369 --> 00:08:26,370 With its babies in its mouth. 226 00:08:26,438 --> 00:08:28,539 That fish would look at mitchell's relationship 227 00:08:28,606 --> 00:08:30,541 With his mother and say, "that's messed up." 228 00:08:35,180 --> 00:08:36,647 Hey. 229 00:08:36,715 --> 00:08:38,615 Hey. 230 00:08:38,683 --> 00:08:40,951 Boy [clears throat] 231 00:08:41,019 --> 00:08:44,555 Things with your mom got pretty intense down there, huh? 232 00:08:44,622 --> 00:08:46,890 All like east coast/west coast. 233 00:08:46,958 --> 00:08:48,092 You feelin' me? 234 00:08:48,159 --> 00:08:50,260 Act like a parent, talk like a peer. 235 00:08:50,328 --> 00:08:52,262 I call it "peerenting." 236 00:08:52,330 --> 00:08:54,598 I learned it from my own dad who used to walk into my room 237 00:08:54,666 --> 00:08:56,900 And say, "what's up, sweathog?" 238 00:08:56,968 --> 00:08:57,868 [ chuckles ] 239 00:08:57,936 --> 00:08:59,670 Honey... 240 00:08:59,738 --> 00:09:01,672 I would love to let you go to the concert. 241 00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:04,208 Are you kidding me? I think concerts are rad. 242 00:09:04,275 --> 00:09:06,777 Hello! I was a hall-raiser. A what? 243 00:09:06,845 --> 00:09:09,380 I followed hall & oates around the country one summer. 244 00:09:09,447 --> 00:09:11,415 "rich girl" just spoke to me. 245 00:09:11,483 --> 00:09:14,084 I was dating this girl. Not -- not dating. 246 00:09:14,152 --> 00:09:16,787 I guess I was following her, too, kind of. 247 00:09:16,855 --> 00:09:19,690 Okay, mom just doesn't trust me, and it's not fair. 248 00:09:19,758 --> 00:09:21,058 She trusts you. 249 00:09:21,126 --> 00:09:23,093 It's just that weird stuff happens at concerts. 250 00:09:23,161 --> 00:09:24,395 Boys get urges. 251 00:09:24,462 --> 00:09:25,496 Ew. 252 00:09:25,563 --> 00:09:27,398 Dad, is there something you want? 253 00:09:27,465 --> 00:09:28,632 Yes, there is -- 254 00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:30,367 To connect with this girl right here. 255 00:09:30,435 --> 00:09:31,969 Now, come on. Pretend I'm not your dad. 256 00:09:32,036 --> 00:09:34,405 We're just a couple of friends kickin' it in a juice bar. 257 00:09:34,472 --> 00:09:35,839 What's a juice bar? 258 00:09:35,907 --> 00:09:37,574 Okay, a malt shop, whatever. 259 00:09:37,642 --> 00:09:39,143 Dad, I don't -- no. Who's dad? 260 00:09:39,210 --> 00:09:40,544 Who's dad? I'm -- 261 00:09:40,612 --> 00:09:42,346 I'm marcus from biology. 262 00:09:42,414 --> 00:09:43,814 Hey, haley. 263 00:09:43,882 --> 00:09:45,349 How's it going with you and dylan? 264 00:09:45,417 --> 00:09:49,153 Has he tried anything inappropriate with you...Girl? 265 00:09:49,220 --> 00:09:50,654 [ cellphone rings ] 266 00:09:50,722 --> 00:09:51,655 Hey. 267 00:09:51,723 --> 00:09:53,190 No, nothing. 268 00:09:53,258 --> 00:09:56,960 Just talking to some dork I met in a malt shop. 269 00:09:57,028 --> 00:09:59,062 [ doorbell rings ] 270 00:09:59,130 --> 00:10:00,731 Hey, mitchell. What's up? 271 00:10:00,799 --> 00:10:02,699 Hey, just -- just in the hood. 272 00:10:02,767 --> 00:10:04,368 So, do you -- do you remember 273 00:10:04,436 --> 00:10:06,637 How mom gave up a career to raise us? 274 00:10:06,704 --> 00:10:08,572 Promising career. 275 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:09,973 Oh, god. 276 00:10:10,041 --> 00:10:11,141 Claire? 277 00:10:11,209 --> 00:10:12,709 Mom. 278 00:10:12,777 --> 00:10:14,945 Why so long? 279 00:10:15,013 --> 00:10:16,447 Mm, I know. 280 00:10:16,514 --> 00:10:18,415 I know, it's weird when we haven't talked for a while. 281 00:10:18,483 --> 00:10:19,817 I mean your hair. 282 00:10:19,884 --> 00:10:21,218 Mm... 283 00:10:21,286 --> 00:10:23,220 Well, if I can't tell you, who will? 284 00:10:23,288 --> 00:10:25,255 So, mom wants you to know 285 00:10:25,323 --> 00:10:28,192 That she's very sorry about the incident 286 00:10:28,259 --> 00:10:30,928 And -- and she wants us to forgive her. 287 00:10:30,995 --> 00:10:33,096 Oh, very nice of her to say that through you. 288 00:10:33,164 --> 00:10:35,299 Do you see? 289 00:10:35,366 --> 00:10:37,568 The sarcasm is so hurtful -- 290 00:10:37,635 --> 00:10:39,470 Like a whip. 291 00:10:39,537 --> 00:10:42,172 Yoow how growing up, we l have that voice inside our head 292 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:45,275 That tells us we're not good enough? 293 00:10:45,343 --> 00:10:48,378 Well, mine was outside my head, driving me to school. 294 00:10:48,446 --> 00:10:50,447 So -- so, anyway, mom really wants 295 00:10:50,515 --> 00:10:52,483 To smooth everything over with dad and gloria, 296 00:10:52,550 --> 00:10:54,785 So I was thinking, would it be okay 297 00:10:54,853 --> 00:10:57,421 If she maybe joined us for dinner tonight? 298 00:10:57,489 --> 00:11:00,190 Because it may be the last time you ever see me. 299 00:11:00,258 --> 00:11:01,925 Well... Okay, wait. 300 00:11:01,993 --> 00:11:03,427 What are you talking about? 301 00:11:03,495 --> 00:11:05,062 Well, I'm -- 302 00:11:05,129 --> 00:11:09,366 I'm moving to a far and dangerous place. 303 00:11:09,434 --> 00:11:13,103 Canada, but -- uh, she met a man named chas. Yeah. 304 00:11:13,171 --> 00:11:14,438 He's a logger. 305 00:11:14,506 --> 00:11:17,140 Like a -- like a lumberjack? 306 00:11:17,208 --> 00:11:20,277 No, he logs blood samples into a cholesterol study. 307 00:11:20,345 --> 00:11:23,914 Anyway, until I'm past this whole wedding debacle, 308 00:11:23,982 --> 00:11:25,315 I can't be intimate with him. 309 00:11:25,383 --> 00:11:26,416 Oh. 310 00:11:26,484 --> 00:11:27,918 We do things to each other. 311 00:11:27,986 --> 00:11:29,119 We use our hands. 312 00:11:29,187 --> 00:11:30,487 Mm... Oh, my lord. 313 00:11:30,555 --> 00:11:31,655 Haley: Hey, nana. 314 00:11:31,723 --> 00:11:33,891 Oh, my little comet. Hey! 315 00:11:33,958 --> 00:11:36,527 Oh, look at you. You're all grown up. 316 00:11:36,594 --> 00:11:38,295 Hmm, tell mom that. 317 00:11:38,363 --> 00:11:40,430 She won't even let me go to a concert. 318 00:11:40,498 --> 00:11:42,399 Overnight with her boyfriend. 319 00:11:42,467 --> 00:11:45,469 [ laughs ] 320 00:11:45,537 --> 00:11:47,070 What are you laughing at? 321 00:11:47,138 --> 00:11:51,408 Oh, karma's a funny thing, that's all. 322 00:11:51,476 --> 00:11:52,843 Remember ricky? 323 00:11:52,911 --> 00:11:53,844 Oh, god. 324 00:11:53,912 --> 00:11:55,045 Oh, who's ricky? 325 00:11:55,113 --> 00:11:56,380 No one. 326 00:11:56,447 --> 00:11:58,549 Ricky was your mother's boyfriend, 327 00:11:58,616 --> 00:12:00,751 And he looked like charles manson. 328 00:12:00,818 --> 00:12:04,254 And one night, she didn't come home until 4:00 in the morning. 329 00:12:04,322 --> 00:12:05,622 4:00? Wow. 330 00:12:05,690 --> 00:12:07,925 Wow, mom, what were you and ricky doing? 331 00:12:07,992 --> 00:12:09,426 Nothing. 332 00:12:09,494 --> 00:12:11,628 We were doing nothing, and he was a very sweet boy, 333 00:12:11,696 --> 00:12:14,097 Which you might have known if you bothered to get to know him. 334 00:12:14,165 --> 00:12:15,599 Dylan's a sweet boy. 335 00:12:15,667 --> 00:12:17,000 [ scoffs ] dylan. 336 00:12:17,068 --> 00:12:20,537 Dylan is no ricky. Ricky -- ricky was a poet. 337 00:12:20,605 --> 00:12:23,106 Dylan writes songs -- awesome songs. 338 00:12:23,174 --> 00:12:24,541 And maybe you would know that 339 00:12:24,609 --> 00:12:26,243 If you "bothered to get to know him." 340 00:12:26,311 --> 00:12:27,244 Ha! 341 00:12:27,312 --> 00:12:29,246 [ laughs ] 342 00:12:29,314 --> 00:12:32,449 Okay, you know, first of all, I am not my mother. 343 00:12:32,517 --> 00:12:36,620 I don't judge people before I get a chance to know them. 344 00:12:36,688 --> 00:12:39,823 So you invite dylan over to dinner tonight, 345 00:12:39,891 --> 00:12:42,926 And if he's as sweet and as kind as you say he is, 346 00:12:42,994 --> 00:12:45,395 Then I have no problem 347 00:12:45,463 --> 00:12:48,065 Considering letting you go to the concert 348 00:12:48,132 --> 00:12:50,734 After I do a background check on uncle tobey. 349 00:12:50,802 --> 00:12:52,469 Thank you, thank you, thank you, mom. 350 00:12:52,537 --> 00:12:54,371 Okay, I'm gonna go call him. 351 00:12:54,439 --> 00:12:55,572 Okay. 352 00:12:57,075 --> 00:12:58,742 That's very revealing. 353 00:12:58,810 --> 00:13:00,644 That's my parenting style. 354 00:13:00,712 --> 00:13:02,212 No, I meant your blouse. 355 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:03,447 Mom. 356 00:13:03,514 --> 00:13:05,515 Claire, wait. Come -- [ chuckles ] 357 00:13:05,583 --> 00:13:07,985 Not making this easy. 358 00:13:08,052 --> 00:13:09,820 Claire, come on. Stop, stop, stop. 359 00:13:09,887 --> 00:13:11,888 Just let her come to dinner, 360 00:13:11,956 --> 00:13:13,457 Apologize to dad and gloria, 361 00:13:13,524 --> 00:13:16,193 And she and chas can live happily ever after. 362 00:13:16,260 --> 00:13:17,761 In canada. In canada. 363 00:13:17,829 --> 00:13:18,962 [ sighs ] 364 00:13:19,030 --> 00:13:20,697 Wait, why don't you make her fix this 365 00:13:20,765 --> 00:13:22,733 Instead of you doing it, as usual? 366 00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:24,101 Whoa. What's that supposed to mean? 367 00:13:24,168 --> 00:13:25,235 Oh, you know, mom makes a mess, 368 00:13:25,303 --> 00:13:26,336 And there's mitchell to clean it up. 369 00:13:26,404 --> 00:13:28,538 Okay, that is so not true. 370 00:13:28,606 --> 00:13:30,374 If -- if anything, you're the one 371 00:13:30,441 --> 00:13:32,175 With the screwed-up relationship with mommy -- 372 00:13:32,243 --> 00:13:33,744 With -- with -- with mom. Wow, "mommy"? 373 00:13:33,811 --> 00:13:35,212 No, I didn't say it -- damn it. 374 00:13:35,279 --> 00:13:36,346 Ooh. 375 00:13:36,414 --> 00:13:37,848 Fine. 376 00:13:37,915 --> 00:13:39,783 Fine, she can come, but she's got to clear it with daddy. 377 00:13:39,851 --> 00:13:41,184 "Daddy"? I did not say "daddy." 378 00:13:41,252 --> 00:13:42,635 You said "daddy." 379 00:13:45,456 --> 00:13:46,490 Hey, dad. 380 00:13:46,557 --> 00:13:48,091 Mitchell, what are you doing here? 381 00:13:48,159 --> 00:13:49,426 Uh, I'm sorry to bother you. 382 00:13:49,494 --> 00:13:50,927 Uh, could I talk to you and gloria for a second? 383 00:13:50,995 --> 00:13:53,263 Oh, she's out dealing with a manny situation. 384 00:13:53,331 --> 00:13:55,232 He set a kid's bike on fire. 385 00:13:55,299 --> 00:13:56,733 Why? 386 00:13:56,801 --> 00:13:58,702 Oh, I might have told him to get even with some kids, 387 00:13:58,770 --> 00:14:00,737 And he went all rambo with it. 388 00:14:02,273 --> 00:14:03,974 Not my best parenting moment. 389 00:14:04,042 --> 00:14:05,342 [ chuckles ] not your worst. 390 00:14:05,410 --> 00:14:06,677 What's up? 391 00:14:06,744 --> 00:14:09,012 Uh, well, you know, mom's in town. 392 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:10,380 Your mom? 393 00:14:10,448 --> 00:14:11,748 No. No, your mom. She's back from the grave. 394 00:14:11,816 --> 00:14:13,150 Yes. Yes, my mom,. 395 00:14:13,217 --> 00:14:14,885 My mom would be less scary. 396 00:14:14,952 --> 00:14:17,254 Listen, she's a wreck about what happened at the wedding, 397 00:14:17,321 --> 00:14:18,922 And she wants to come to dinner tonight 398 00:14:18,990 --> 00:14:20,290 To apologize to everyone. 399 00:14:20,358 --> 00:14:22,359 Still her little errand boy, I see. 400 00:14:22,427 --> 00:14:24,761 No. Why does everybody keep say-- no. 401 00:14:24,829 --> 00:14:28,699 I -- I'm just trying to piece this family back together. 402 00:14:28,766 --> 00:14:31,334 So you'll talk to gloria about mom coming to dinner? 403 00:14:31,402 --> 00:14:33,203 Oh, gloria would never go for that in a million years. 404 00:14:33,271 --> 00:14:34,538 She's still furious with your mother, 405 00:14:34,605 --> 00:14:36,640 Which is why I'm not talking to you. 406 00:14:36,708 --> 00:14:37,841 What did I do? 407 00:14:37,909 --> 00:14:39,576 This conversation never took place. 408 00:14:39,644 --> 00:14:41,078 Well, that's not very nice. I drove all the way here. 409 00:14:41,145 --> 00:14:42,245 No, you didn't. You were never here. 410 00:14:42,313 --> 00:14:43,780 In fact, you never even called. 411 00:14:43,848 --> 00:14:45,582 I would have called, but I thought it would be better 412 00:14:45,650 --> 00:14:47,217 To talk about th-- what -- what's happening here? 413 00:14:47,285 --> 00:14:49,486 Listen... 414 00:14:49,554 --> 00:14:52,122 I would love to get this thing behind us, 415 00:14:52,190 --> 00:14:54,124 But gloria would never forgive me 416 00:14:54,192 --> 00:14:55,659 If I pulled a fast one on her. 417 00:14:55,727 --> 00:14:58,528 That's why you're going to pull a fast one on her, 418 00:14:58,596 --> 00:15:00,797 And I'm not going to like it one bit. 419 00:15:00,865 --> 00:15:01,998 Okay, that's just great. 420 00:15:02,066 --> 00:15:03,433 No, that's great. So it's all up to me. 421 00:15:03,501 --> 00:15:05,102 I can't hear you because you're back home 422 00:15:05,169 --> 00:15:06,436 And I'm taking a nap. 423 00:15:06,504 --> 00:15:08,638 [ sighs ] 424 00:15:08,706 --> 00:15:10,574 [ doorbell rings ] 425 00:15:12,744 --> 00:15:14,778 D-money. There he is. Hey. 426 00:15:14,846 --> 00:15:15,979 Come on in. 427 00:15:16,047 --> 00:15:17,280 Hi. Hey, how you doing? 428 00:15:17,348 --> 00:15:18,315 Good. 429 00:15:18,382 --> 00:15:19,583 Um... 430 00:15:19,650 --> 00:15:21,752 Uh, hey, everybody, this is dylan. 431 00:15:21,819 --> 00:15:22,853 Hey. 432 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:24,988 Hey. Hi. 433 00:15:25,056 --> 00:15:28,058 He has a very gentle soul. 434 00:15:28,126 --> 00:15:30,026 You got that from "hey"? 435 00:15:30,094 --> 00:15:32,262 So, dylan, I see you brought the ax. 436 00:15:32,330 --> 00:15:34,097 Yeah, yeah, I just came from practice. 437 00:15:34,165 --> 00:15:36,133 Sweet. Miss those days. 438 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:37,501 Oh, you were in a band? 439 00:15:37,568 --> 00:15:39,136 Could have been, but in high school, 440 00:15:39,203 --> 00:15:40,737 I was really all about my magic, so... 441 00:15:40,805 --> 00:15:42,172 Oh, my god. 442 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:43,673 [ doorbell rings ] 443 00:15:43,741 --> 00:15:45,208 Oh, that's gonna be dad and gloria. 444 00:15:45,276 --> 00:15:48,712 Oh, mitchell, I know it's silly, but... 445 00:15:48,780 --> 00:15:50,113 I'm a little nervous. 446 00:15:50,181 --> 00:15:52,616 Oh, no. That's not silly. You should be. 447 00:15:52,683 --> 00:15:53,617 [ door opens ] 448 00:15:53,684 --> 00:15:54,785 Hey. 449 00:15:54,852 --> 00:15:56,086 How are you? 450 00:15:56,154 --> 00:15:57,888 Manny. Phil. 451 00:15:57,955 --> 00:15:59,456 Nice mustache. Thank you. 452 00:15:59,524 --> 00:16:01,558 Don't make fun. He may burn your house down. 453 00:16:04,595 --> 00:16:05,695 Oh, boy. 454 00:16:05,763 --> 00:16:06,663 Dede. 455 00:16:06,731 --> 00:16:08,598 Hi, jay. Gloria. 456 00:16:08,666 --> 00:16:10,400 What is she doing here? 457 00:16:10,468 --> 00:16:12,669 What does she mean, "what is she doing here?" 458 00:16:12,737 --> 00:16:14,805 Mitchell told you I'd be here. Lies! 459 00:16:14,872 --> 00:16:16,940 I couldn't tell her because she wouldn't come. 460 00:16:17,008 --> 00:16:19,876 Gloria, my mom wants to apologize for everything. 461 00:16:19,944 --> 00:16:21,711 So you just spring it on gloria like this? 462 00:16:21,779 --> 00:16:23,446 Mitchell, what the hell is wrong with you? 463 00:16:23,514 --> 00:16:24,581 I don't want her apologies. 464 00:16:24,649 --> 00:16:26,349 And who could blame you, honey? 465 00:16:26,417 --> 00:16:28,218 Which is why this is a terrible idea by you! 466 00:16:28,286 --> 00:16:30,353 Jay, manny, let's go. 467 00:16:30,421 --> 00:16:32,589 Oh, wait, wait, gloria. 468 00:16:32,657 --> 00:16:35,258 I d-- I just want to tell you 469 00:16:35,326 --> 00:16:37,727 How sorry I am for ruining your wedding. 470 00:16:37,795 --> 00:16:41,731 I was struggling with being alone. 471 00:16:41,799 --> 00:16:44,768 Meanwhile, jay moves on so easily. 472 00:16:44,836 --> 00:16:46,770 And -- and not with just anyone -- 473 00:16:46,838 --> 00:16:50,407 With a... 474 00:16:50,474 --> 00:16:53,577 Young and smart and beautiful woman. 475 00:16:53,644 --> 00:16:55,946 I don't expect to forgive me. 476 00:16:56,013 --> 00:16:57,480 If I were you, 477 00:16:57,548 --> 00:17:00,317 I'd want to punch me right in the mouth. 478 00:17:07,758 --> 00:17:10,427 I think we've had enough revenge 479 00:17:10,494 --> 00:17:12,295 In this family for one day. 480 00:17:12,363 --> 00:17:14,598 Oh, okay. Y-y-you see? 481 00:17:14,665 --> 00:17:16,499 Yeah, we're all gonna move past this. 482 00:17:16,567 --> 00:17:18,902 And because of me, who -- who's not a mama's boy, 483 00:17:18,970 --> 00:17:22,138 But is a caring person with wisdom and emotional insight, 484 00:17:22,206 --> 00:17:23,673 So make a note, bitches. 485 00:17:23,741 --> 00:17:25,375 That's not a good color on you. 486 00:17:25,443 --> 00:17:27,410 [ sighs ] I forgive you. 487 00:17:29,447 --> 00:17:32,215 Oh. Wow. 488 00:17:32,283 --> 00:17:34,517 I am not prepared for this. 489 00:17:34,585 --> 00:17:37,053 I just -- I wa-- 490 00:17:37,121 --> 00:17:39,089 I want to rip your head off! 491 00:17:39,156 --> 00:17:42,158 [ indistinct shouting ] 492 00:17:42,226 --> 00:17:45,095 You ruined my wedding! 493 00:17:45,162 --> 00:17:46,763 I got gloria! 494 00:17:46,831 --> 00:17:48,298 I got gloria! 495 00:17:48,366 --> 00:17:52,102 [ indistinct shouting continues ] 496 00:17:52,169 --> 00:17:53,470 I got gloria. 497 00:17:53,537 --> 00:17:55,705 Stand up like a big girl. Come on. 498 00:17:55,773 --> 00:17:57,007 Jay: All right, all right, all right. 499 00:17:57,074 --> 00:17:59,409 Stop it, stop it, stop it, the two of you! 500 00:17:59,477 --> 00:18:01,444 I am so sorry about this. 501 00:18:01,512 --> 00:18:02,812 No, it's cool. It's cool. 502 00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:04,114 This is ridiculous. 503 00:18:04,181 --> 00:18:07,617 Gloria didn't steal me, dede, and you know it. 504 00:18:07,685 --> 00:18:09,819 We grew apart for years. 505 00:18:09,887 --> 00:18:11,821 And you left to find yourself, remember? 506 00:18:11,889 --> 00:18:14,190 I thought I could handle this. 507 00:18:14,258 --> 00:18:15,659 I'm so sorry. 508 00:18:15,726 --> 00:18:16,927 You don't say "sorry" anymore! 509 00:18:16,994 --> 00:18:18,628 That word means nothing in your mouth! 510 00:18:18,696 --> 00:18:21,364 I got gloria. 511 00:18:21,432 --> 00:18:23,033 I don't know what just happened. 512 00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:24,467 Dylan: I do. 513 00:18:26,604 --> 00:18:30,006 I mean, it seems pretty simple to me. 514 00:18:30,074 --> 00:18:32,943 You're reaching out, trying to hold on to something awesome. 515 00:18:33,010 --> 00:18:35,111 Um, maybe -- maybe you shouldn't -- 516 00:18:35,179 --> 00:18:37,247 Look, look, look, I'm noused to this, 517 00:18:37,315 --> 00:18:39,349 The whole big-family thing. 518 00:18:39,417 --> 00:18:42,218 In my house, we don't even talk to each other. 519 00:18:42,286 --> 00:18:43,887 You know, it's funny. 520 00:18:43,955 --> 00:18:46,823 The first time I saw haley, I knew I liked her. 521 00:18:46,891 --> 00:18:48,692 I mean, she's beautiful and everything, 522 00:18:48,759 --> 00:18:50,327 But it's -- it's not just that. 523 00:18:50,394 --> 00:18:54,097 It's that she's got this killer confidence -- 524 00:18:54,165 --> 00:18:56,299 You know, the kind of confidence 525 00:18:56,367 --> 00:18:58,868 That you get from having a family like this, 526 00:18:58,936 --> 00:19:04,274 That's passionate and accepting of hot foreigners 527 00:19:04,342 --> 00:19:08,378 And gay dudes and nutty people -- 528 00:19:08,446 --> 00:19:14,017 You know, a family that actually loves each other. 529 00:19:14,085 --> 00:19:16,086 I can't believe I'm gonna say this, 530 00:19:16,153 --> 00:19:19,022 But maybe we should let her go with him. 531 00:19:19,090 --> 00:19:21,925 He's perfect. 532 00:19:21,993 --> 00:19:26,396 Everybody, haley says that dylan is a musician, 533 00:19:26,464 --> 00:19:29,232 And he writes some great songs. 534 00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:30,700 Play something, bro. 535 00:19:30,701 --> 00:19:33,203 Well, I guess so, if you want me to. 536 00:19:33,270 --> 00:19:35,205 We could all use a nice tune right now. 537 00:19:35,272 --> 00:19:38,675 This is actually a song I wrote for haley. 538 00:19:38,743 --> 00:19:40,543 It's called "in the moonlight." 539 00:19:40,611 --> 00:19:41,544 Lovely title, dylan. 540 00:19:41,612 --> 00:19:42,746 Thanks. 541 00:19:44,949 --> 00:19:50,186 * the stars are falling from the sky * 542 00:19:50,254 --> 00:19:55,025 * and you're the reason why * 543 00:19:57,928 --> 00:20:01,297 * the moon is shining on your face * 544 00:20:03,067 --> 00:20:08,605 * 'cause it finally feels it's found its place * 545 00:20:08,672 --> 00:20:13,276 * 'cause, baby, baby, I just want to do you * 546 00:20:13,344 --> 00:20:14,644 * do you * 547 00:20:14,712 --> 00:20:16,780 * do you want to do me * 548 00:20:16,847 --> 00:20:17,881 * do me * 549 00:20:17,948 --> 00:20:19,649 * underneath the moonlight * 550 00:20:19,717 --> 00:20:21,317 * the moonlight? * 551 00:20:21,385 --> 00:20:25,221 * baby, baby, maybe I will steal you * 552 00:20:25,289 --> 00:20:26,790 * steal you * 553 00:20:26,857 --> 00:20:28,658 * just so I can feel you * 554 00:20:28,726 --> 00:20:29,926 * feel you * 555 00:20:29,994 --> 00:20:31,561 * maybe that would heal you * 556 00:20:31,629 --> 00:20:35,065 * heal you on the inside * 557 00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:37,967 She's so not going. 558 00:20:38,035 --> 00:20:40,570 Not a chance in hell. 559 00:20:45,442 --> 00:20:49,112 * the moon is shining * they doon your face *nd * 560 00:20:49,179 --> 00:20:52,815 * and it finally feels it's * 561 00:20:52,883 --> 00:20:56,019 * found its place 'cause * 562 00:20:56,086 --> 00:21:00,290 * baby, baby, I just want to do you * 563 00:21:00,357 --> 00:21:01,357 * do you * 564 00:21:01,425 --> 00:21:03,259 * baby, you can do me * 565 00:21:03,327 --> 00:21:04,494 * do me * 566 00:21:04,561 --> 00:21:06,429 * man, I will do you * 567 00:21:06,497 --> 00:21:07,697 * do you * 568 00:21:07,765 --> 00:21:09,565 * maybe it would heal you * 569 00:21:09,633 --> 00:21:10,667 * heal you * 570 00:21:10,734 --> 00:21:12,935 Both: * from the inside * 571 00:21:13,003 --> 00:21:14,170 * from the inside * 572 00:21:14,238 --> 00:21:15,805 * from the inside * 573 00:21:15,873 --> 00:21:16,973 * from the inside * 574 00:21:16,974 --> 00:21:18,974 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 575 00:21:19,109 --> 00:21:21,110 Never good at harmonizing. * side * that was good.