1
00:00:01,170 --> 00:00:03,172
- Daddy.
- What are you doing up?
2
00:00:03,272 --> 00:00:04,973
I can't sleep.
3
00:00:05,073 --> 00:00:07,342
Wait. You eat
while I'm in bed?
4
00:00:07,442 --> 00:00:09,378
Is there a meal
I don't know about?
5
00:00:09,478 --> 00:00:10,479
A couple.
6
00:00:10,579 --> 00:00:11,946
But you need to
hit the hay, buddy.
7
00:00:12,046 --> 00:00:16,318
I need you sawin' logs
until 0700.
8
00:00:16,418 --> 00:00:18,720
I don't know what
any of that means.
9
00:00:18,820 --> 00:00:21,990
Gloria and I are going through
a romantic dry spell.
10
00:00:22,090 --> 00:00:24,159
Luckily, she's out tonight
with her friend, Rebecca,
11
00:00:24,259 --> 00:00:25,860
who is married to a jackass.
12
00:00:25,994 --> 00:00:29,498
Gloria always comes home
ready to show her appreciation.
13
00:00:29,598 --> 00:00:31,533
Suddenly, me going to bed
with socks on
14
00:00:31,633 --> 00:00:33,468
is not such a deal-breaker.
15
00:00:34,303 --> 00:00:36,338
Aw, geez.
(door opens)
16
00:00:36,438 --> 00:00:38,873
GLORIA: I'm home!
Hey, Jay.
17
00:00:38,973 --> 00:00:40,242
JAY: How's Rebecca?
18
00:00:40,342 --> 00:00:41,876
She's never
been better.
19
00:00:41,976 --> 00:00:43,512
So, she left her husband
like a month ago,
20
00:00:43,612 --> 00:00:47,982
and it's like a weight has been
lifted off her shoulders.
21
00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:49,083
Speaking of shoulders,
22
00:00:49,184 --> 00:00:50,719
are you ready for
one of my famous massages?
23
00:00:50,819 --> 00:00:51,686
No, I'm good.
24
00:00:51,786 --> 00:00:53,087
(ringtone plays)
25
00:00:53,188 --> 00:00:54,189
It's her.
26
00:00:54,289 --> 00:00:55,190
Hello?
27
00:00:55,290 --> 00:00:58,193
(gasps)
The waiter?
28
00:00:58,293 --> 00:01:00,895
I knew he was
flirting with you!
29
00:01:00,995 --> 00:01:03,665
Don't forget about
that clod she married!
30
00:01:03,765 --> 00:01:06,034
You got one of
the good guys!
31
00:01:06,134 --> 00:01:09,571
(chuckles) And he didn't have to
write down our order,
32
00:01:09,671 --> 00:01:11,906
so you know that he won't
forget your birthday.
33
00:01:12,006 --> 00:01:14,576
(clatter)
Ay!
34
00:01:14,676 --> 00:01:15,910
(groans)
35
00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:18,380
Joe leaves all his toys
on the floor.
36
00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:21,182
I tell him to pick them up,
but he doesn't listen.
37
00:01:21,283 --> 00:01:25,254
I'm telling you,
it's a disaster in the bedroom.
38
00:01:25,354 --> 00:01:26,921
I don't know
what to do.
39
00:01:27,021 --> 00:01:29,958
It's like he can't remember
where things go.
40
00:01:30,058 --> 00:01:35,964
Eventually, I get so frustrated
that I take care of it myself.
41
00:01:36,064 --> 00:01:37,799
Spanking?
42
00:01:37,899 --> 00:01:39,701
Well, yeah, I guess
we could try that.
43
00:01:39,801 --> 00:01:41,069
Actually, now that
you mention it,
44
00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:44,573
Javier and I tried it
a long time ago.
45
00:01:44,673 --> 00:01:46,875
It was a game-changer.
46
00:01:47,776 --> 00:01:50,412
Ay. Rebecca
is doing so well.
47
00:01:50,512 --> 00:01:51,980
Sounds like
she's having fun.
48
00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:54,749
Navy used to make us watch films
about girls like that.
49
00:01:54,849 --> 00:01:58,387
Well, her husband never really
gave her what she needed.
50
00:01:58,487 --> 00:01:59,788
Did she tell him?
51
00:01:59,888 --> 00:02:02,757
No. But sometimes it's more
exciting to be with someone
52
00:02:02,857 --> 00:02:06,628
that already knows what you want
without you telling them.
53
00:02:06,728 --> 00:02:07,962
Got it.
54
00:02:08,062 --> 00:02:09,331
Ay! Hey!
55
00:02:09,431 --> 00:02:10,799
Wh-What the hell
was that?!
56
00:02:10,899 --> 00:02:11,900
Nothing!
You know what?
57
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,569
I think I forgot
to lock the front door.
58
00:02:14,669 --> 00:02:19,107
♪ ♪
59
00:02:23,207 --> 00:02:25,812
== Synced & corrected by MaxPayne ==
60
00:02:28,317 --> 00:02:29,784
- There he is.
- Oh, now, don't get mad.
61
00:02:29,884 --> 00:02:31,820
I know I said I was only
getting tulips for the party,
62
00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:33,788
but I splurged
and I got orchids.
63
00:02:33,888 --> 00:02:35,657
Hey, I wanted the party
to be special, too. Okay.
64
00:02:35,757 --> 00:02:38,427
And in my defense, I didn't know
about the orchids.
65
00:02:38,527 --> 00:02:39,661
I got a piano.
66
00:02:39,761 --> 00:02:41,330
Really, where?
67
00:02:41,430 --> 00:02:43,264
I recently got
a pretty fancy job
68
00:02:43,365 --> 00:02:45,934
working for billionaire
Michael Quinly.
69
00:02:46,034 --> 00:02:47,502
It's kind of a big deal.
It is a big deal.
70
00:02:47,602 --> 00:02:49,438
Now, admittedly,
throwing a party
71
00:02:49,538 --> 00:02:51,440
to celebrate your own
reversal of fortune
72
00:02:51,540 --> 00:02:52,807
could be seen as braggy.
73
00:02:52,907 --> 00:02:54,976
Sort of a rags-to-bitches story,
if you will.
74
00:02:55,076 --> 00:02:56,645
Then again,
for a while now,
75
00:02:56,745 --> 00:02:58,980
when I've been telling my
friends that I was struggling,
76
00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:00,715
they'd give me
"that look"...
77
00:03:00,815 --> 00:03:02,451
the one that's
mostly sympathetic
78
00:03:02,551 --> 00:03:05,654
with just a touch of
enjoying my pain.
79
00:03:05,754 --> 00:03:08,323
So, today,
I get the other look...
80
00:03:08,423 --> 00:03:10,725
the one that's mostly
"I'm so happy for you"
81
00:03:10,825 --> 00:03:13,695
with just a hint of
"I am wracked with jealousy."
82
00:03:15,730 --> 00:03:17,366
It'll be good to see
the old gang again.
83
00:03:17,466 --> 00:03:18,867
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
84
00:03:21,836 --> 00:03:22,904
Hey, you.
85
00:03:23,004 --> 00:03:25,574
What's going on?
You, uh... you texting a boy?
86
00:03:25,674 --> 00:03:26,908
Just figuring out
my summer plans.
87
00:03:27,008 --> 00:03:28,377
I remember the summer
of my junior year.
88
00:03:28,477 --> 00:03:31,713
I followed N.W.A. on tour...
Nebraskans With Accordions.
89
00:03:31,813 --> 00:03:34,483
This was before Polka Pete was
brutally murdered, of course.
90
00:03:34,583 --> 00:03:35,984
Yeah, this is
a little different.
91
00:03:36,084 --> 00:03:37,352
I'm actually up for
an internship
92
00:03:37,452 --> 00:03:39,421
researching the minimal
supersymmetric standard model
93
00:03:39,521 --> 00:03:40,355
at M.I.T.
94
00:03:40,455 --> 00:03:43,091
Cool. Beantown.
95
00:03:43,191 --> 00:03:45,494
I don't know why I'm getting
all girly and excited about it.
96
00:03:45,594 --> 00:03:46,695
It's not like I'm
gonna get it anyways.
97
00:03:46,795 --> 00:03:49,230
What's with the quitter talk?
If you want my advice...
98
00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:50,432
No, I don't,
but thanks.
99
00:03:50,532 --> 00:03:52,266
What is all this junk?
100
00:03:52,367 --> 00:03:54,068
Fruit Roll-ups, chips,
chocolate milk? Ugh.
101
00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:56,371
Th-There's nothing
in the fridge.
102
00:03:57,839 --> 00:03:58,907
I'm packing you a lunch.
103
00:03:59,007 --> 00:04:00,909
I've always heard
there comes a time in life
104
00:04:01,009 --> 00:04:03,712
when the kid starts
parenting the parents.
105
00:04:03,812 --> 00:04:05,447
I thought it would be
when I was in my 40s.
106
00:04:05,547 --> 00:04:07,348
But I'm pretty mature
for my age,
107
00:04:07,449 --> 00:04:09,518
and my dad claps
when he gets waffle fries.
108
00:04:09,618 --> 00:04:11,019
What are you even
still doing home?
109
00:04:11,119 --> 00:04:12,687
Don't you usually open
your magic shop by now?
110
00:04:12,787 --> 00:04:14,689
Yeah. I'm just going in
a little late.
111
00:04:14,789 --> 00:04:16,257
Doesn't sound good
for business.
112
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:18,026
And I saw you sneak those
carrots out of your lunch.
113
00:04:18,126 --> 00:04:20,962
I'm trying to avoid one of
the other shop owners.
114
00:04:21,062 --> 00:04:22,564
Kind of an intimidating
character.
115
00:04:22,664 --> 00:04:24,566
It started with a dispute
over a parking space
116
00:04:24,666 --> 00:04:25,734
and escalated
from there.
117
00:04:25,834 --> 00:04:29,237
Hey... we don't avoid bullies
in this family.
118
00:04:29,337 --> 00:04:31,305
We stand up to them.
119
00:04:31,406 --> 00:04:32,774
Off you go.
120
00:04:32,874 --> 00:04:34,976
I don't think you realize what
kind of person I'm up against.
121
00:04:35,076 --> 00:04:36,445
Yesterday, all my
dribble glasses
122
00:04:36,545 --> 00:04:38,112
were replaced
with real ones.
123
00:04:38,212 --> 00:04:39,548
It was humiliating.
124
00:04:39,648 --> 00:04:42,283
So, Long', we have a lot
to catch up on.
125
00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:44,218
What's up?
Not my weight.
126
00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:46,821
The Tom Brady diet changed
the way I see the world.
127
00:04:46,921 --> 00:04:50,291
Food, not food,
super-food, poison.
128
00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:52,427
Oh, well, okay,
that covers you.
129
00:04:52,527 --> 00:04:53,962
I was going to ask
about you,
130
00:04:54,062 --> 00:04:55,797
but, you know, I'm always
nervous about the answer.
131
00:04:55,897 --> 00:04:57,098
Well, you know what?
Let's roll the dice.
132
00:04:57,198 --> 00:04:58,433
So, it turns out that I...
Hey, Mitch.
133
00:04:58,533 --> 00:04:59,734
- Hi.
- Hi.
134
00:04:59,834 --> 00:05:01,770
Where's Cam? Hey.
Oh.
135
00:05:01,870 --> 00:05:03,438
Claire, what a surprise.
136
00:05:03,538 --> 00:05:04,606
What are you
talking about?
137
00:05:04,706 --> 00:05:05,474
You asked me to bring over
the piano music.
138
00:05:05,574 --> 00:05:06,741
"Party-time Favorites."
139
00:05:06,841 --> 00:05:08,276
Oh, my gosh,
how apropos.
140
00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:11,179
I'll just set these on
our new piano... Mm.
141
00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:12,647
That I know
how to play.
142
00:05:12,747 --> 00:05:14,649
Great party, boys.
143
00:05:14,749 --> 00:05:16,618
We need to talk about
the piano in the room.
144
00:05:16,718 --> 00:05:18,953
Uh, well, yes, so, okay, okay.
(chuckles)
145
00:05:19,053 --> 00:05:20,522
So, Cam has always
wanted one,
146
00:05:20,622 --> 00:05:22,991
and frankly, it has been
out of our price range
147
00:05:23,091 --> 00:05:24,493
until this week.
148
00:05:24,593 --> 00:05:26,495
Fun story.
It turns out that I...
149
00:05:26,595 --> 00:05:28,329
- Hi.
- I'm being rude.
150
00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:29,664
Sam Turnbull.
151
00:05:29,764 --> 00:05:31,365
Oh!
Claire Dunphy.
152
00:05:31,466 --> 00:05:33,702
Hi. You are the editor of
L.A. Woman magazine, right?
153
00:05:33,802 --> 00:05:36,104
I believe it's pronounced
[french accent] "La Woman."
154
00:05:36,204 --> 00:05:37,539
It isn't.
155
00:05:37,639 --> 00:05:39,708
It's funny because your office
called my business last week.
156
00:05:39,808 --> 00:05:42,511
Apparently,
I'm on some short list
157
00:05:42,611 --> 00:05:44,212
for the Women in Business
issue.
158
00:05:44,312 --> 00:05:45,614
- Closets, right?
- Yeah.
159
00:05:45,714 --> 00:05:47,482
I shattered
the glass ceiling...
160
00:05:47,582 --> 00:05:50,852
and ironically, we have
a new glass-ceiling closet.
161
00:05:50,952 --> 00:05:52,787
You can see if it's raining
when you're getting dressed.
162
00:05:52,887 --> 00:05:54,388
Gonna save
a lot of suede.
163
00:05:54,489 --> 00:05:56,691
Well, it's, um, pretty
competitive this year.
164
00:05:56,791 --> 00:05:58,026
Oh.
165
00:05:58,126 --> 00:06:00,028
Anyway, I'm meeting someone
on the other side of the piano.
166
00:06:00,128 --> 00:06:01,896
I should leave now.
167
00:06:01,996 --> 00:06:03,397
Oh.
168
00:06:03,498 --> 00:06:07,001
I don't even care about
his stupid magazine,
169
00:06:07,101 --> 00:06:08,302
but to be dismissed
like that?
170
00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:12,206
Hey, everyone, everyone.
Thank you so much for coming.
171
00:06:12,306 --> 00:06:14,008
We never get to
see each other anymore,
172
00:06:14,108 --> 00:06:15,644
what with our busy lives.
173
00:06:15,744 --> 00:06:18,580
And Jotham's ambient music
compositions,
174
00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:21,215
and, uh, Deepak's
guerrilla gardening,
175
00:06:21,315 --> 00:06:25,186
and, well,
me and my big new job
176
00:06:25,286 --> 00:06:27,355
working for
Michael Quinly.
177
00:06:27,455 --> 00:06:28,523
Yeah.
178
00:06:28,623 --> 00:06:30,191
The rich guy whose name
is on all those museums?
179
00:06:30,291 --> 00:06:33,027
And hospitals, yeah.
So, to all of us!
180
00:06:33,127 --> 00:06:36,665
Ah, congratulations.
181
00:06:36,765 --> 00:06:38,232
It's really great.
We're all...
182
00:06:38,332 --> 00:06:39,233
We're all so happy
for you.
183
00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:40,535
Thank you.
Thank you.
184
00:06:40,635 --> 00:06:41,603
Hey, hey.
Hi.
185
00:06:41,703 --> 00:06:42,904
You saw the look, right? Yeah.
186
00:06:43,004 --> 00:06:47,075
Pure love and support
with just a hint of rancid envy.
187
00:06:47,175 --> 00:06:48,577
A word.
188
00:06:48,677 --> 00:06:50,244
But I'm basking.
Um, Cam.
189
00:06:50,344 --> 00:06:52,080
So, while you were talking,
I got online,
190
00:06:52,180 --> 00:06:55,750
and... your new boss
was caught embezzling.
191
00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:57,085
Your company
is crumbling.
192
00:06:57,185 --> 00:06:59,854
No! No! This... This can't be
happening to me again.
193
00:06:59,954 --> 00:07:01,956
You know what?
You'll find something else.
194
00:07:02,056 --> 00:07:03,625
Oh, my... Cam,
I literally just bragged
195
00:07:03,725 --> 00:07:05,226
about a job
that doesn't exist.
196
00:07:05,326 --> 00:07:07,195
Okay, okay.
They cannot know,
197
00:07:07,295 --> 00:07:09,397
or else this will turn into
an actual pity party.
198
00:07:09,497 --> 00:07:10,799
Okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I-I got this.
199
00:07:10,899 --> 00:07:12,066
Hi, everyone.
200
00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:15,069
So, we are about to get
to know one another on a deeper,
201
00:07:15,169 --> 00:07:16,905
more personal level.
202
00:07:17,005 --> 00:07:18,807
I think you all know
what the bowl is for.
203
00:07:18,907 --> 00:07:22,644
Hey, no.
Not your keys, Jotham.
204
00:07:22,744 --> 00:07:24,145
Your phones!
205
00:07:24,245 --> 00:07:26,948
We are about to rediscover the
long-lost art of conversation.
206
00:07:27,048 --> 00:07:28,216
What if
the sitter calls?
207
00:07:28,316 --> 00:07:31,152
Your dog will be fine.
Phones, gentlemen, phones.
208
00:07:33,439 --> 00:07:34,640
You're working
on a Saturday?
209
00:07:34,740 --> 00:07:36,442
I've been dealing with
a little problem.
210
00:07:36,542 --> 00:07:38,978
In moments like this,
there's only one place I turn.
211
00:07:39,078 --> 00:07:41,747
Well, I am flattered,
Dad.
212
00:07:41,847 --> 00:07:42,748
Right.
213
00:07:42,848 --> 00:07:46,151
Hey, but, you know,
since you're here...
214
00:07:46,252 --> 00:07:48,754
Uh, it's a
difficult subject.
215
00:07:48,854 --> 00:07:49,755
Gloria and I...
216
00:07:49,855 --> 00:07:51,391
Mm-hmm.
217
00:07:51,491 --> 00:07:53,092
Having an issue
in the bedroom.
218
00:07:53,192 --> 00:07:54,460
Okay.
219
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,796
There's been a drop-off of
pace and intensity. Mm-hmm.
220
00:07:56,896 --> 00:08:00,099
I get the impression she's looking
for, maybe, a little more variety.
221
00:08:00,199 --> 00:08:01,434
- Mm.
- But you can't blame her.
222
00:08:01,534 --> 00:08:03,102
I've been using the same
moves since the '70s. Hmm.
223
00:08:03,202 --> 00:08:04,970
I may as well be doing
"The Hustle" in there.
224
00:08:05,070 --> 00:08:06,806
I'm just gonna
wet my whistle.
225
00:08:06,906 --> 00:08:08,674
I heard her tell
her friend last night
226
00:08:08,774 --> 00:08:11,143
about wanting
to be spanked.
227
00:08:11,243 --> 00:08:14,580
And later, the opportunity
presented itself, and...
228
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:15,815
No, you didn't.
You didn't.
229
00:08:15,915 --> 00:08:17,750
- Three times.
- Oh, God. Why three times, Dad?
230
00:08:17,850 --> 00:08:19,485
I don't know. Maybe all those
years of ping-pong
231
00:08:19,585 --> 00:08:22,422
in the warehouse. I've got
very agile wrists. Mm.
232
00:08:22,522 --> 00:08:24,424
But I don't know how
I come back from this one.
233
00:08:24,524 --> 00:08:27,693
Well, uh, Dad,
when you, um...
234
00:08:27,793 --> 00:08:29,462
When you did what
you did to Gloria,
235
00:08:29,562 --> 00:08:31,697
you made the sex
all about her body,
236
00:08:31,797 --> 00:08:33,999
and a woman wants it
to be about the mind.
237
00:08:34,099 --> 00:08:37,169
Oh, crap. I was afraid it would
be about that sort of thing.
238
00:08:37,269 --> 00:08:39,872
Look, she is an intelligent,
interesting woman.
239
00:08:39,972 --> 00:08:42,308
And you just need to remind her
that you notice that...
240
00:08:42,408 --> 00:08:44,977
unlike, say, I don't know,
L.A. Woman magazine,
241
00:08:45,077 --> 00:08:46,512
that only cares about
how a woman looks.
242
00:08:46,612 --> 00:08:48,514
So, we're off
my thing, huh?
243
00:08:48,614 --> 00:08:49,782
Hopefully forever, yes.
244
00:08:49,882 --> 00:08:51,351
I ran into the editor
of that magazine
245
00:08:51,451 --> 00:08:53,686
over at Cam and Mitch's today,
and you know what?
246
00:08:53,786 --> 00:08:54,987
He looks me up and down.
247
00:08:55,087 --> 00:08:57,390
Suddenly, I am off
their women-in-business list.
248
00:08:57,490 --> 00:08:59,725
So, L.A. Woman is
its own magazine now?
249
00:08:59,825 --> 00:09:02,227
I remember when it was
the back page of L.A. Man.
250
00:09:02,328 --> 00:09:05,665
Well, I suppose I'm just not
as glamorous as Linda Vaughn,
251
00:09:05,765 --> 00:09:07,633
the queen of
corrective shoes.
252
00:09:07,733 --> 00:09:09,502
And this has nothing to do
with the fact that you showed up
253
00:09:09,602 --> 00:09:12,137
looking like someone
who just watered some horses?
254
00:09:12,237 --> 00:09:13,673
Who cares?
What about merit?
255
00:09:13,773 --> 00:09:15,508
I hear you.
But you got to play the game.
256
00:09:15,608 --> 00:09:16,642
I didn't get
on the cover
257
00:09:16,742 --> 00:09:19,545
of Closet Time's
September '78 issue
258
00:09:19,645 --> 00:09:23,349
by wearing Jordache jeans
one size too big.
259
00:09:23,449 --> 00:09:24,316
I'm not doing it.
260
00:09:24,417 --> 00:09:25,851
They can keep
their beauty contest.
261
00:09:25,951 --> 00:09:26,886
I don't care.
262
00:09:26,986 --> 00:09:29,088
Before you say "no,"
take a look at this.
263
00:09:30,823 --> 00:09:32,725
It's not making the case
you think it's making, Dad.
264
00:09:32,825 --> 00:09:35,060
Oh, God.
265
00:09:37,597 --> 00:09:38,998
Okay, that's all
the phones.
266
00:09:39,098 --> 00:09:41,166
Look, nobody's gonna find out
about you losing your job
267
00:09:41,266 --> 00:09:42,334
until after the party.
268
00:09:42,435 --> 00:09:43,235
(doorbell rings)
269
00:09:43,335 --> 00:09:45,170
Okay, I'm...
I'm gonna get that.
270
00:09:45,270 --> 00:09:46,406
You call someone
about returning the piano
271
00:09:46,506 --> 00:09:47,840
we can no longer afford.
272
00:09:49,274 --> 00:09:51,544
Well, we couldn't really afford
it with your new job, either.
273
00:09:52,344 --> 00:09:54,680
Why haven't you been
texting me back?
274
00:09:54,780 --> 00:09:56,015
Well, uh...
275
00:09:56,115 --> 00:09:58,350
You're judging us, aren't you?
No.
276
00:09:58,451 --> 00:10:00,753
This is nothing compared to
the things that I have heard
277
00:10:00,853 --> 00:10:02,054
that you two do...
Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa.
278
00:10:02,154 --> 00:10:03,723
I-I never saw
your text, okay?
279
00:10:03,823 --> 00:10:05,090
All of our phones
are in a bowl.
280
00:10:05,190 --> 00:10:07,393
Oh, it's that kind
of party.
281
00:10:07,493 --> 00:10:09,094
What do you think
that we do?
282
00:10:09,194 --> 00:10:10,295
I have a problem.
283
00:10:10,396 --> 00:10:11,764
Well, can it wait?
I have guests.
284
00:10:11,864 --> 00:10:13,566
Your father spanked me.
285
00:10:13,666 --> 00:10:15,300
Eh, it's a buffet.
They'll be fine.
286
00:10:15,401 --> 00:10:17,269
Okay, I talked to
the piano company...
287
00:10:17,369 --> 00:10:19,405
Okay, okay, my dad spanked her.
You're all caught up.
288
00:10:19,505 --> 00:10:21,574
- What?
- What did you do?
289
00:10:21,674 --> 00:10:23,609
I screamed,
he ran away.
290
00:10:23,709 --> 00:10:25,377
And now I think
he's embarrassed.
291
00:10:25,478 --> 00:10:26,779
Okay, okay.
292
00:10:26,879 --> 00:10:29,281
For what it's worth, sometimes
people do things to other people
293
00:10:29,381 --> 00:10:31,083
that they want done
to themselves.
294
00:10:31,183 --> 00:10:31,984
Mm-hmm.
295
00:10:32,084 --> 00:10:34,319
Sometimes,
for years on end.
296
00:10:34,420 --> 00:10:35,588
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
297
00:10:35,688 --> 00:10:39,425
So, you think that
Jay wants me to spank him?
298
00:10:39,525 --> 00:10:40,926
Well, if he's like
some of the successful,
299
00:10:41,026 --> 00:10:43,128
powerful men
I've been with, yes.
300
00:10:43,228 --> 00:10:45,731
Who are those men? What are
these things I don't do?
301
00:10:45,831 --> 00:10:48,501
Well, I guess I could ask him
if that's what he wants.
302
00:10:48,601 --> 00:10:50,102
No, no, no, no, no.
Don't do that.
303
00:10:50,202 --> 00:10:51,971
He's probably already
feeling self-conscious.
304
00:10:52,071 --> 00:10:54,807
Act casual,
like it never happened.
305
00:10:54,907 --> 00:10:56,341
I can do that.
306
00:10:57,843 --> 00:10:58,811
I haven't even
said anything
307
00:10:58,911 --> 00:11:00,813
about this gigantic piano
you have here.
308
00:11:00,913 --> 00:11:03,816
Okay. Well, if it doesn't
go back today, we own it,
309
00:11:03,916 --> 00:11:05,150
so the moving company
is on the way.
310
00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:07,487
Okay, well, I think our guests
are gonna notice that,
311
00:11:07,587 --> 00:11:09,121
maybe ask a question
or two.
312
00:11:09,221 --> 00:11:10,089
I've got this.
313
00:11:10,189 --> 00:11:12,458
Hey, guys.
Hi, guys.
314
00:11:12,558 --> 00:11:14,694
Mitchell and I... Maybe just Cam.
Not sure yet.
315
00:11:14,794 --> 00:11:17,463
Are about to remodel our
bathroom, and we were wondering,
316
00:11:17,563 --> 00:11:21,701
does anyone here have strong
opinions about interior design?
317
00:11:21,801 --> 00:11:24,937
Okay. Can you guys, uh,
follow me right this way?
318
00:11:25,705 --> 00:11:28,040
All right, everybody in.
Yep, there's plenty of room.
319
00:11:28,140 --> 00:11:29,509
And I'll... I'll just
close the door,
320
00:11:29,609 --> 00:11:32,545
give you guys some privacy
so you can speak freely.
321
00:11:32,645 --> 00:11:34,013
There you go.
322
00:11:34,113 --> 00:11:35,981
All right.
And, oh, look at that.
323
00:11:36,081 --> 00:11:38,350
(grunting)
The... doorknob came off.
324
00:11:38,450 --> 00:11:40,486
Sit tight.
I got to fix this.
325
00:11:40,586 --> 00:11:42,187
(door opens, bell rings)
ALEX: Hey, Dad.
326
00:11:42,287 --> 00:11:43,455
Hey, sweetie.
What are you doing here?
327
00:11:43,556 --> 00:11:45,825
Did you really think
I wouldn't notice these?
328
00:11:45,925 --> 00:11:47,793
Also, I got
that internship.
329
00:11:47,893 --> 00:11:49,461
I just need your signature
on my insurance form.
330
00:11:49,562 --> 00:11:51,797
I told you
to stay positive.
331
00:11:51,897 --> 00:11:53,633
How much fun
is this gonna be?
332
00:11:53,733 --> 00:11:55,568
It's really not
about fun.
333
00:11:55,668 --> 00:11:56,836
It's gonna be
a lot of hard work.
334
00:11:56,936 --> 00:11:58,137
The pressure's
off the charts.
335
00:11:58,237 --> 00:12:00,205
Well, that would explain
the mental-health waiver.
336
00:12:00,305 --> 00:12:03,075
The last undergrad they let into
the program completely snapped.
337
00:12:03,175 --> 00:12:04,343
They found her
wandering the Freedom Trail
338
00:12:04,443 --> 00:12:06,178
wearing nothing
but her safety goggles.
339
00:12:06,278 --> 00:12:07,513
(door opens, bell rings)
340
00:12:07,613 --> 00:12:10,415
Dunphy, you're in
my spot again.
341
00:12:10,516 --> 00:12:12,852
(whispers) That's her.
She's your bully?
342
00:12:12,952 --> 00:12:14,419
You realize she's not even
that big, right?
343
00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:16,689
It's mostly just hair.
Shh, shh.
344
00:12:16,789 --> 00:12:17,823
Who's the jock?
345
00:12:17,923 --> 00:12:20,392
Oh, Stephanie,
this is my daughter Alex.
346
00:12:20,492 --> 00:12:21,493
Uh, Alex,
this is Stephanie.
347
00:12:21,594 --> 00:12:23,729
She owns the board-game shop
next door.
348
00:12:23,829 --> 00:12:25,931
Yeah. I sell
"MAGIC: The Gathering,"
349
00:12:26,031 --> 00:12:28,534
and he sells magic,
and no one is gathering.
350
00:12:28,634 --> 00:12:29,902
Come on.
351
00:12:30,002 --> 00:12:31,503
Dad, remember
what we talked about.
352
00:12:31,604 --> 00:12:33,539
Oh, yeah.
Technically...
353
00:12:36,008 --> 00:12:38,544
spot nine is
a shared parking space.
354
00:12:38,644 --> 00:12:42,381
Ooh, look whose
disappearing balls came back.
355
00:12:42,481 --> 00:12:44,617
What do you say we settle this
once and for all
356
00:12:44,717 --> 00:12:46,518
with the newly released
collector's edition
357
00:12:46,619 --> 00:12:47,887
of "Wizards and Warlocks"?
358
00:12:47,987 --> 00:12:49,254
Set her up.
359
00:12:49,354 --> 00:12:50,890
I'm done being
pushed around by you.
360
00:12:50,990 --> 00:12:53,392
Winner gets the spot.
It's a role-playing game.
361
00:12:53,492 --> 00:12:54,960
I'm Zorel,
a 19th-level wizard
362
00:12:55,060 --> 00:12:57,396
with 30 gold ingots and
a cow who used to be my son.
363
00:12:57,496 --> 00:12:59,464
I'm familiar with the game.
I go to Cal-Tech.
364
00:12:59,565 --> 00:13:01,634
The guy who invented it gave our
commencement speech last year.
365
00:13:01,734 --> 00:13:02,868
Okay, Dunphy.
366
00:13:02,968 --> 00:13:05,237
When we left off, you had just
sold your long sword
367
00:13:05,337 --> 00:13:07,139
for some beans.
Which could've been magic.
368
00:13:07,239 --> 00:13:08,440
There was no indication
of that.
369
00:13:08,540 --> 00:13:10,075
Dad, where's all
your gold?
370
00:13:10,175 --> 00:13:11,777
I found that Zorel
doesn't like to be weighed down
371
00:13:11,877 --> 00:13:13,478
by too many
worldly possessions.
372
00:13:13,579 --> 00:13:15,715
But the key is to pillage early
and trade your gold for weapons
373
00:13:15,815 --> 00:13:18,417
before the Van Wickle gates open
and the ogres are released.
374
00:13:18,517 --> 00:13:21,253
Curse card.
Your hands are now hooves.
375
00:13:21,353 --> 00:13:22,755
Your roll.
376
00:13:22,855 --> 00:13:24,223
Uh, but first, a proposal...
377
00:13:24,323 --> 00:13:27,092
my shield
for your feathered cap.
378
00:13:27,192 --> 00:13:28,728
I can't watch this.
Give me those.
379
00:13:28,828 --> 00:13:29,929
Up.
380
00:13:31,731 --> 00:13:33,666
Hmm.
381
00:13:33,766 --> 00:13:34,767
Hmm.
382
00:13:34,867 --> 00:13:36,501
Ah, I see where
you're going with this...
383
00:13:36,636 --> 00:13:38,804
calling for a peace conference
with the council of elders.
384
00:13:38,904 --> 00:13:40,806
No. I'm putting the council
of elders on our ships
385
00:13:40,906 --> 00:13:42,675
and burning them.
Go.
386
00:13:42,775 --> 00:13:43,976
(door closes)
387
00:13:44,076 --> 00:13:47,579
I'm here, casually reading
a magazine, Jay.
388
00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:48,814
There's my brainiac.
389
00:13:48,914 --> 00:13:50,149
You didn't even
have to turn around.
390
00:13:50,249 --> 00:13:51,150
You knew it was me.
391
00:13:51,250 --> 00:13:52,652
Oh, well,
Manny's at school,
392
00:13:52,752 --> 00:13:54,854
and Joe doesn't have a key,
so...
393
00:13:54,954 --> 00:13:56,155
What are you
tearing through?
394
00:13:56,255 --> 00:13:58,758
Nothing. Just, like,
a fashion magazine.
395
00:13:58,858 --> 00:14:01,426
In English,
your second language.
396
00:14:01,526 --> 00:14:03,095
With all that information
in your head,
397
00:14:03,195 --> 00:14:05,597
we should be calling you
"Encyclopedia Brown"...
398
00:14:05,698 --> 00:14:07,132
which sounds like a slur,
but isn't.
399
00:14:07,232 --> 00:14:09,468
Hey, I'll bet you can help me with
something I've been struggling with.
400
00:14:09,568 --> 00:14:10,535
I doubt it.
(laughs)
401
00:14:10,636 --> 00:14:12,672
Give me a thrill.
Take a whack at it.
402
00:14:12,772 --> 00:14:14,940
What exactly do you
want me to do?
403
00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:17,609
I'm sure you can
figure out this clue.
404
00:14:17,710 --> 00:14:19,712
Come on, one across.
Help me get started.
405
00:14:21,781 --> 00:14:24,016
Ow!
What the hell?!
406
00:14:24,116 --> 00:14:25,317
JOE: What the hell?!
407
00:14:25,417 --> 00:14:28,453
I'll clean my room,
I promise!
408
00:14:31,575 --> 00:14:33,444
- Ha.
- Damn it.
409
00:14:33,544 --> 00:14:35,111
You made it to
the Summit of Exmore.
410
00:14:35,211 --> 00:14:36,613
It exists?
(cellphone chimes)
411
00:14:36,713 --> 00:14:39,583
Whoa. I need to get
these forms in by 5:00
412
00:14:39,683 --> 00:14:40,817
if I'm gonna
take this internship,
413
00:14:40,917 --> 00:14:43,086
which I obviously am because
I've been working for this
414
00:14:43,186 --> 00:14:44,387
my entire life.
415
00:14:44,488 --> 00:14:47,290
Dad, take over. You're basically
in an unlosable position.
416
00:14:49,993 --> 00:14:51,795
You appear to be
at a crossroads...
417
00:14:51,895 --> 00:14:53,063
battle the guards
at the summit gate
418
00:14:53,163 --> 00:14:54,965
or take a portal
to lands unknown.
419
00:14:55,065 --> 00:14:58,334
This would be so much easier
if it was lands known.
420
00:14:58,435 --> 00:15:00,003
You're not actually struggling
with this, are you?
421
00:15:00,103 --> 00:15:02,839
But what if the portal
leads to someplace really cool?
422
00:15:02,939 --> 00:15:04,908
You win by getting
to the summit.
423
00:15:05,008 --> 00:15:07,511
There's a 62% chance that portal
leads right back to the meadow.
424
00:15:07,611 --> 00:15:08,979
That's math.
425
00:15:09,079 --> 00:15:12,516
You're in a house
of... magic.
426
00:15:12,616 --> 00:15:14,184
And you're back
in the meadow.
427
00:15:14,284 --> 00:15:15,318
What were you thinking?
428
00:15:15,418 --> 00:15:17,120
It's fine.
You know, legend has it,
429
00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:19,322
there's a shortcut under
one of the toadstools there.
430
00:15:19,422 --> 00:15:21,758
You don't win
by taking shortcuts!
431
00:15:21,858 --> 00:15:24,795
You win by taking the lead...
which is what I did for you
432
00:15:24,895 --> 00:15:26,630
by methodically
clawing up the mountain,
433
00:15:26,730 --> 00:15:28,431
ruthlessly defeating
your enemies,
434
00:15:28,532 --> 00:15:29,833
and then emerging
victorious...
435
00:15:29,933 --> 00:15:32,669
not dithering around
in some meadow!
436
00:15:32,769 --> 00:15:34,304
I'm gonna step out
for a vape break
437
00:15:34,404 --> 00:15:36,840
while you two
sort this out.
438
00:15:36,940 --> 00:15:39,175
(door opens, closes)
439
00:15:39,275 --> 00:15:40,611
You know why
I like the meadow?
440
00:15:40,711 --> 00:15:43,113
'Cause it lets me think about
what I want to do next.
441
00:15:43,213 --> 00:15:45,682
Should I battle the ogre
442
00:15:45,782 --> 00:15:48,485
or brave
the Swamps of Despair?
443
00:15:48,585 --> 00:15:53,023
Should I take the super
stressful internship in Boston,
444
00:15:53,123 --> 00:15:55,859
or am I doing that just because
I think I'm supposed to?
445
00:15:55,959 --> 00:15:59,229
(scoffs) I beat out
hundreds of candidates.
446
00:15:59,329 --> 00:16:01,532
I would be working with the
pre-eminent scholar in the field.
447
00:16:01,632 --> 00:16:03,500
This is the chance
of a lifetime.
448
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,069
Yeah, but it's
your lifetime.
449
00:16:06,169 --> 00:16:07,504
It's okay to enjoy it.
450
00:16:07,604 --> 00:16:08,839
(sighs)
451
00:16:08,939 --> 00:16:10,507
No one turns this down.
452
00:16:10,607 --> 00:16:14,845
Well, you always liked being
the first one to do something.
453
00:16:14,945 --> 00:16:16,346
Give yourself
the summer you want.
454
00:16:16,446 --> 00:16:18,148
You've collected
enough gold ingots
455
00:16:18,248 --> 00:16:19,750
to buy yourself
some time off.
456
00:16:19,850 --> 00:16:21,552
It won't make me lazy,
will it?
457
00:16:21,652 --> 00:16:25,856
Honey,
you walked at six months,
458
00:16:25,956 --> 00:16:27,190
spoke at a year,
459
00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:30,861
and your first words were "Sorry
it took me so long to walk."
460
00:16:30,961 --> 00:16:32,563
(chuckles)
461
00:16:35,265 --> 00:16:37,601
Okay, so,
the piano's gone.
462
00:16:37,701 --> 00:16:38,902
Oh, by the way,
that sound you heard
463
00:16:39,002 --> 00:16:41,337
was the bottom of the truck
scraping against the street,
464
00:16:41,437 --> 00:16:42,573
so...
Okay, yeah.
465
00:16:42,673 --> 00:16:44,040
Yeah, I don't know, Cam.
Is this really gonna sell it?
466
00:16:44,140 --> 00:16:45,441
Yes, it is.
467
00:16:45,542 --> 00:16:48,211
I've learned in my 36 years
that, if you believe a lie,
468
00:16:48,311 --> 00:16:49,546
others will, too.
469
00:16:49,646 --> 00:16:51,347
Okay,
release the guests.
470
00:16:51,447 --> 00:16:52,549
Okay.
471
00:16:54,050 --> 00:16:55,385
Okay, all fixed.
472
00:16:55,485 --> 00:16:58,421
Figures. Just as your Xanax
is kicking in.
473
00:16:58,521 --> 00:16:59,690
(indistinct chatter)
474
00:16:59,790 --> 00:17:01,024
Hey, guys, so, listen.
475
00:17:01,124 --> 00:17:03,960
We've kept you cooped up
on this beautiful day.
476
00:17:04,060 --> 00:17:07,097
Why don't we turn this party
into a garden party?
477
00:17:07,197 --> 00:17:08,198
(chatter, murmuring)
478
00:17:08,298 --> 00:17:09,633
Why is your piano
covered with a sheet?
479
00:17:09,733 --> 00:17:12,302
Oh, um, well,
because they recommend it.
480
00:17:12,402 --> 00:17:15,271
They say even five minutes of
direct sunlight on a new piano
481
00:17:15,371 --> 00:17:17,440
like this, your keyboard
turns into something like
482
00:17:17,540 --> 00:17:18,775
an English person's
teeth, so...
483
00:17:18,875 --> 00:17:20,076
Huh.
Yeah.
484
00:17:20,176 --> 00:17:21,578
Okay, well, so why doesn't
everyone just... Yeah.
485
00:17:21,678 --> 00:17:23,947
Grab some appetizers and any
wine that's already opened...
486
00:17:24,047 --> 00:17:26,049
- Already opened wine.
- ...and we'll...
487
00:17:26,149 --> 00:17:27,250
Hello, boys.
488
00:17:27,350 --> 00:17:28,251
What are you
doing here?
489
00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:29,285
Didn't you get my text?
490
00:17:29,385 --> 00:17:30,587
No, all of our phones
are in a bowl.
491
00:17:30,687 --> 00:17:32,589
- Ew.
- It's not dirty...
492
00:17:32,689 --> 00:17:34,257
unlike that dress.
493
00:17:34,357 --> 00:17:35,291
Hi, Sam.
494
00:17:35,391 --> 00:17:36,660
Oh, my God.
495
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,729
Okay, you're that desperate
to get into the magazine.
496
00:17:38,829 --> 00:17:40,797
No. I am going to expose him
for the fraud that he is.
497
00:17:40,897 --> 00:17:44,434
He claims that his precious
little list is merit-based.
498
00:17:44,534 --> 00:17:47,003
When I was wearing sweatpants,
he wasn't interested.
499
00:17:47,103 --> 00:17:48,471
Now that I've gussied up
a little...
500
00:17:48,571 --> 00:17:50,140
He's gonna put you
on the cover.
501
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:51,675
Really?
Do you think? Shut up.
502
00:17:51,775 --> 00:17:54,110
Hey, Cam, there was an article
in an old Details magazine
503
00:17:54,210 --> 00:17:55,311
I was reading
in your bathroom
504
00:17:55,411 --> 00:17:57,313
about the need
to support your friends.
505
00:17:57,413 --> 00:17:59,816
We do want to
hear you play.
506
00:17:59,916 --> 00:18:01,017
- No, you know what?
- Let's not. Let's not.
507
00:18:01,117 --> 00:18:02,585
I just don't even feel like
I'm in the mood anymore.
508
00:18:02,686 --> 00:18:04,420
You're a bigger liar
than your scale.
509
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:05,789
Come on.
One song.
510
00:18:05,889 --> 00:18:07,157
No one gets to leave this room
until you do.
511
00:18:07,257 --> 00:18:08,191
Okay, well...
512
00:18:08,291 --> 00:18:11,361
I must say,
you do look beautiful.
513
00:18:11,461 --> 00:18:12,863
You remind me of
my first beard.
514
00:18:12,963 --> 00:18:14,264
Thank you.
515
00:18:14,364 --> 00:18:17,200
I'm a lady in the streets and
a freak in the spreadsheets.
516
00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:18,969
It's not a bad caption,
if you're still interested
517
00:18:19,069 --> 00:18:20,470
in using me
in your magazine.
518
00:18:20,570 --> 00:18:21,772
(keyboard playing)
519
00:18:21,872 --> 00:18:23,774
Sounds a little... thin.
520
00:18:23,874 --> 00:18:24,975
Oh, well,
all the best ones do.
521
00:18:25,075 --> 00:18:27,944
You're probably used to
a cheaper, fuller-sounding,
522
00:18:28,044 --> 00:18:29,680
uncovered piano.
523
00:18:29,780 --> 00:18:34,450
♪ Another bride,
another groom ♪
524
00:18:34,550 --> 00:18:37,120
Oh, from
"Fabulous Baker Boys."
525
00:18:37,220 --> 00:18:39,389
♪ Another sunny
honeymoon ♪
526
00:18:39,489 --> 00:18:41,524
What a sexy movie.
527
00:18:41,624 --> 00:18:43,894
♪ Another season
528
00:18:43,994 --> 00:18:45,662
When Michelle Pfeiffer
first...
529
00:18:45,762 --> 00:18:47,330
♪ Another reason
530
00:18:47,430 --> 00:18:48,865
leapt into
our hearts.
531
00:18:48,965 --> 00:18:50,233
(all gasp)
532
00:18:52,635 --> 00:18:54,004
Wait,
where's the piano?
533
00:18:54,104 --> 00:18:56,172
I'm... I'm fine,
by the way.
534
00:18:56,272 --> 00:18:58,374
So, we did get rid
of the piano.
535
00:18:58,474 --> 00:19:00,010
Um, we... we can't
afford it anymore.
536
00:19:00,110 --> 00:19:03,013
That great job that I had?
Uh, I lost it.
537
00:19:03,113 --> 00:19:04,347
So...
538
00:19:04,447 --> 00:19:06,416
I couldn't have been more wrong
about our friends.
539
00:19:06,516 --> 00:19:09,252
I mean, yes, yes,
they can be snarky at times,
540
00:19:09,385 --> 00:19:11,521
but when I really
needed their support,
541
00:19:11,621 --> 00:19:12,823
they were completely
there for me.
542
00:19:12,923 --> 00:19:14,157
You know, you should take
a look at your life
543
00:19:14,257 --> 00:19:16,359
and see what happened
to make you so untrusting.
544
00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:18,261
I should.
G-Gaw!
545
00:19:18,361 --> 00:19:19,930
And to think we...
we locked them in that bathroom
546
00:19:20,030 --> 00:19:20,897
for no reason.
547
00:19:20,997 --> 00:19:22,065
That couldn't have
been fun.
548
00:19:22,165 --> 00:19:23,233
Yeah, I know.
549
00:19:23,333 --> 00:19:25,401
Uh, the same thing happened
to me once, remember?
550
00:19:25,501 --> 00:19:27,237
When that... the handle
accidentally fell off.
551
00:19:27,337 --> 00:19:28,872
The... The...
The night of our first fight.
552
00:19:28,972 --> 00:19:31,074
Yeah.
Yeah, vaguely.
553
00:19:33,009 --> 00:19:35,111
That was
an accident, right?
554
00:19:35,211 --> 00:19:37,413
- Cam.
- Did you fix the doornob yet?
555
00:19:37,513 --> 00:19:38,581
Just another minute,
sweetie.
556
00:19:38,681 --> 00:19:39,883
Cam!
557
00:19:39,983 --> 00:19:42,886
I talked to Joe
558
00:19:42,986 --> 00:19:44,220
about what he saw,
559
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:45,956
and he's not scared
anymore.
560
00:19:46,056 --> 00:19:47,623
Great. Can you do
the same for me?
561
00:19:47,724 --> 00:19:48,892
I'm sorry I did
that to you,
562
00:19:48,992 --> 00:19:51,094
but I really thought that
that's what you wanted
563
00:19:51,194 --> 00:19:52,595
because that's what
you did to me.
564
00:19:52,695 --> 00:19:55,531
But I heard you tell Rebecca you
thought that spanking would help.
565
00:19:55,631 --> 00:19:57,968
With Joe and his room.
566
00:19:58,068 --> 00:20:00,971
So... it was
a misunderstanding.
567
00:20:01,071 --> 00:20:02,205
Exactly.
568
00:20:02,305 --> 00:20:03,774
So, there's nothing missing
from our love life.
569
00:20:03,874 --> 00:20:05,608
- Right.
- Right.
570
00:20:08,044 --> 00:20:10,947
Yeah, but, you know,
that nothing is missing
571
00:20:11,047 --> 00:20:13,917
doesn't mean that we cannot
add a little something to it.
572
00:20:14,017 --> 00:20:14,918
Yes, I'm being honest.
573
00:20:15,018 --> 00:20:17,453
I've got a... few requests
for the band.
574
00:20:17,553 --> 00:20:18,889
Like what?
575
00:20:19,956 --> 00:20:21,992
You know, I feel weird
talking about it.
576
00:20:22,092 --> 00:20:23,459
Why don't we write
some of this stuff down,
577
00:20:23,559 --> 00:20:25,628
toss it in a hat,
and see what we pull out?
578
00:20:25,728 --> 00:20:26,662
Ah!
579
00:20:26,763 --> 00:20:28,164
You fired that right off.
580
00:20:28,264 --> 00:20:30,666
That one sounds fun.
(laughs)
581
00:20:30,767 --> 00:20:31,835
No peeking.
582
00:20:31,935 --> 00:20:34,637
Ay, I said I was gonna
do that one. Oh.
583
00:20:34,737 --> 00:20:36,773
Right.
584
00:20:36,873 --> 00:20:38,641
Let's take it upstairs.
Okay.
585
00:20:38,741 --> 00:20:42,913
♪ ♪
586
00:20:43,013 --> 00:20:44,815
- What's this?
- Oh, you know what?
587
00:20:44,915 --> 00:20:47,317
I think that is the hat that
Manny uses to play charades.
588
00:20:47,417 --> 00:20:49,452
That's a relief, because I don't
think I'm flexible enough
589
00:20:49,552 --> 00:20:51,587
for a
"Chitty Chitty Bang Bang."
590
00:20:53,191 --> 00:20:56,528
- You ready for round two?
- Of course, I am.
591
00:20:58,330 --> 00:20:59,964
What are you doing
down there?
592
00:21:00,064 --> 00:21:01,466
It says,
"My left foot."
593
00:21:01,566 --> 00:21:03,134
You got another movie.
594
00:21:03,234 --> 00:21:04,369
(both exhale sharply)
595
00:21:04,469 --> 00:21:06,203
God, that was amazing.
What do you call that?
596
00:21:06,304 --> 00:21:08,540
That's a
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
597
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:09,774
PHIL: You sure about this?
598
00:21:09,874 --> 00:21:11,809
Honey, don't give me a chance
to change my mind.
599
00:21:11,909 --> 00:21:13,511
I am Zorel,
600
00:21:13,611 --> 00:21:16,714
fifth-level wizard,
master of the meadow.
601
00:21:16,814 --> 00:21:20,051
You can keep the beard,
but no talking.