1 00:00:00,220 --> 00:00:02,519 There she is! The old library. 2 00:00:02,580 --> 00:00:04,970 That's some late nights in there. 3 00:00:04,990 --> 00:00:08,570 Some of them I even spent studying. Don't tell your mom. 4 00:00:08,590 --> 00:00:10,930 And maybe don't tell me. 5 00:00:11,410 --> 00:00:13,260 College! 6 00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:14,840 He was shielding his eyes from the sun. 7 00:00:14,860 --> 00:00:15,910 Knew it when I hit it. 8 00:00:15,930 --> 00:00:18,860 Phil is taking Haley to visit his Alma Mater. 9 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:20,690 Loved college. 10 00:00:20,710 --> 00:00:23,650 Mm, we were hoping some of that enthusiasm rubs off on her. 11 00:00:23,670 --> 00:00:25,500 Go, bullfrogs! 12 00:00:25,510 --> 00:00:29,710 Dogs. Bulldogs. I feel like you do that on purpose. 13 00:00:29,740 --> 00:00:33,880 No, it's just... I say "bull, " and I can't remember if it's frogs or dogs. 14 00:00:33,890 --> 00:00:38,780 When I talk to my old friends from college, do we croak or do we bark? 15 00:00:39,110 --> 00:00:43,960 I got it. Hello? 16 00:00:50,630 --> 00:00:54,370 No way! Haley, no way! Check it out! 17 00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:56,550 After a few beers, my buds and I would jump on these lunch trays 18 00:00:56,580 --> 00:00:58,200 and race down this same hill. Hop on. 19 00:00:58,220 --> 00:01:00,250 - I don't want to to hop on. - Seriously, you'll get the giggles. 20 00:01:00,270 --> 00:01:01,770 I don't want the giggles. 21 00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:04,505 Hey, honey. 22 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:06,660 - How's the trip going? - So good. 23 00:01:06,570 --> 00:01:09,680 Go, bullfrogs. 24 00:01:09,710 --> 00:01:11,200 It's dogs. 25 00:01:11,220 --> 00:01:13,500 Oh, sorry. How's Haley doing? 26 00:01:13,510 --> 00:01:19,290 She's... she's loving it. She's loving it. 27 00:01:19,300 --> 00:01:22,900 I showed her the student union. We visited the dorms. 28 00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:24,980 We sat in on a class. 29 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:28,570 I really think she's starting to see what college has to offer. 30 00:01:28,620 --> 00:01:29,830 Oh, hang on, Claire. 31 00:01:32,630 --> 00:01:34,560 Go, bulldogs! 32 00:01:42,351 --> 00:01:45,851 Synced by YYeTs, corrected by gloriabg www.addic7ed.com 33 00:01:47,330 --> 00:01:51,970 Manny, who is this Bella girl, and why is her name all over your notebook? 34 00:01:51,990 --> 00:01:53,380 Bella's no girl, mom. 35 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:56,830 She has recently blossomed, like a purple lilac in April. 36 00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:59,090 What do you mean, she blossom? 37 00:01:59,130 --> 00:02:00,310 Like, the poo-berty? 38 00:02:00,350 --> 00:02:03,050 Yeah. I'll get it. 39 00:02:03,070 --> 00:02:05,510 Hey, Gloria, your show's about to start. 40 00:02:05,550 --> 00:02:06,440 Record it. 41 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:09,990 No, the DVR's filling up. Let's just watch and get it over with. 42 00:02:10,010 --> 00:02:12,960 Gloria's always saying we should do more stuff together. 43 00:02:13,010 --> 00:02:16,840 So I agreed to watch this crazy Colombian soap opera she loves. 44 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:18,440 "Fuego y hielo." 45 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:22,120 Which apparently, is Spanish for "big hair and yelling." 46 00:02:22,150 --> 00:02:27,610 "Fire and ice." It's about human suffering. I relate to it. 47 00:02:27,660 --> 00:02:31,010 I'm just saying, the guy's a judge. He can put a shirt on. 48 00:02:31,580 --> 00:02:33,849 - Ay, what is that? - Oh, nothing. 49 00:02:33,850 --> 00:02:36,630 That doesn't look like a nothing. What is inside? 50 00:02:36,650 --> 00:02:38,170 Oh, it's just something I bought. 51 00:02:38,190 --> 00:02:40,560 I'm gonna go open it in my room. 52 00:02:41,380 --> 00:02:42,700 I don't like this. 53 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:44,929 Manny has never kept a secret from me. 54 00:02:44,930 --> 00:02:46,360 Don't worry about it. 55 00:02:46,380 --> 00:02:48,240 What do you think it could be? 56 00:02:48,310 --> 00:02:51,270 Well, right now I'm a little worried it could be the rest of my evening. 57 00:02:52,140 --> 00:02:53,900 Mwah! Bye-bye. Love you. 58 00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:56,959 Hey, Claire, listen. Uh, if you want, some of the moms are gonna stay and watch 59 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,190 "Gone with the wind" in my new screening room. 60 00:02:59,210 --> 00:03:00,850 I got Pinot! 61 00:03:00,890 --> 00:03:02,810 I would love to, but I'm not feeling that great, 62 00:03:02,830 --> 00:03:05,380 so I'm probably just gonna go home and rest. 63 00:03:05,430 --> 00:03:06,640 Plus I've seen that movie. 64 00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:08,160 No, I never saw "Gone with the wind," 65 00:03:08,180 --> 00:03:12,070 but I have two kids at sleepovers, and Haley's out of town with Phil. 66 00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:15,840 That means I have one night to myself, which happens once every never. 67 00:03:15,860 --> 00:03:20,160 I am not spending it with some gossipy mom who was mean to me in High School. 68 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,250 I need a fun night out. 69 00:03:23,910 --> 00:03:26,050 What the hell is this? No. 70 00:03:26,090 --> 00:03:28,680 I asked you guys for a fun night out, not this. 71 00:03:28,690 --> 00:03:32,080 I-I-I need music and dancing and secondhand smoke. 72 00:03:32,100 --> 00:03:34,050 Oh, please give this place a chance. It's a great value. 73 00:03:34,070 --> 00:03:37,990 The room is so cozy, and the potpies are to die for. 74 00:03:38,030 --> 00:03:40,040 Are you really comfortable with what you just said? 75 00:03:40,060 --> 00:03:43,060 Come on. What happened to the party people who took me to a rave, 76 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:46,880 and I got to wear a tube top, and I stuffed cash in a caged go-go boy's speedo? 77 00:03:46,910 --> 00:03:48,460 We're still party people. 78 00:03:48,510 --> 00:03:51,000 Oh, Joanne, before I forget, can I get a punch? 79 00:03:51,020 --> 00:03:52,550 One away from a free potpie. 80 00:03:52,570 --> 00:03:54,400 If that was your gay card, it would be revoked. 81 00:03:54,450 --> 00:03:55,930 Okay, you know what, Claire? 82 00:03:55,970 --> 00:03:56,980 You're being a little High School you. 83 00:03:57,020 --> 00:03:59,440 I am sorry, Mitchell, but I get one free night, 84 00:03:59,460 --> 00:04:03,330 and I can't spend it at a place that is a proud supporter of Wilson Elementary. 85 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:06,060 - We all need to give back, Claire. - Give me back my night. 86 00:04:06,090 --> 00:04:11,050 Okay, well, Longinus did invite us to a boutique opening, you know, cocktails, DJ. 87 00:04:11,140 --> 00:04:13,860 But it'll... it'll be a whole scene, though. 88 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,140 A scene? A scene is perfect. That's great. 89 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:17,860 I will get in the car before you guys change your mind. 90 00:04:17,890 --> 00:04:19,689 Come on. Let's go. Let's go. 91 00:04:19,690 --> 00:04:21,010 So does that mean no potpies? 92 00:04:21,030 --> 00:04:24,320 Uh, hey, Joanne? Two number nines to go. 93 00:04:24,860 --> 00:04:26,080 Was I wrong? 94 00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:28,130 Are these not the best wings you've ever had in your life? 95 00:04:28,150 --> 00:04:30,960 - Oh, my God. - And you didn't wanna get 40. 96 00:04:30,980 --> 00:04:34,100 Oh, and by the way, this is just the start of your evening. 97 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:38,290 Next up, it's over to the quad for a musical interlude from tenors, anyone? 98 00:04:38,310 --> 00:04:39,290 It's an all-male singing group... 99 00:04:39,310 --> 00:04:40,950 Got it. 100 00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:44,060 Weren't you on my tour this morning? 101 00:04:44,110 --> 00:04:45,880 Yeah, I'm Haley, and this is my d... 102 00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:49,980 Big Brother. You bought it for a second. How are you? 103 00:04:50,170 --> 00:04:52,740 Okay. Anyway, you know what? 104 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,900 There is a student mixer going on tonight. 105 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,910 If you wanna go, me and a bunch of other girls are gonna head over there. 106 00:04:56,930 --> 00:05:00,900 Oh! Uh, you know what? That's okay. 107 00:05:00,950 --> 00:05:03,860 My dad's got this whole thing planned... but thank you anyway. 108 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:05,780 No problem. Well, it was nice meeting you. 109 00:05:05,810 --> 00:05:08,270 Nice meeting you. 110 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:11,640 How fun is this? Just me and you. 111 00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:14,190 I was a little nervous you wouldn't see what's so special about this place. 112 00:05:14,210 --> 00:05:15,850 Not that I'm pushing you to come here. 113 00:05:15,870 --> 00:05:19,580 You know, you're... you're gonna make your own decisions. 114 00:05:19,910 --> 00:05:21,690 You wanna go with them, don't you? 115 00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:22,750 No, we're doing our thing. 116 00:05:22,770 --> 00:05:24,730 Yeah, quick. Before they leave. 117 00:05:24,770 --> 00:05:26,650 - Are you sure? - Go. I can handle it. 118 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:30,300 You're not the first girl to leave me at this table with a plateful of chicken wings. 119 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:32,720 I'm kidding! 120 00:05:32,740 --> 00:05:34,190 I wish I was kidding. 121 00:05:34,210 --> 00:05:35,990 You weren't supposed to hear that. Have fun. 122 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,680 Okay. Love you. 123 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:38,930 Love you. 124 00:05:44,220 --> 00:05:46,570 Nose job. 125 00:05:47,510 --> 00:05:50,190 Butt lift. Last summer, that thing was 4 inches off the ground. 126 00:05:50,210 --> 00:05:52,780 What do they do with all the butt they take out? 127 00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:55,130 I have a theory. 128 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:57,800 Oh, damn! Here comes my ex. 129 00:05:57,820 --> 00:05:59,100 - Who? Randolph? - Marcus? 130 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:02,700 - Lamichael? - No. Matt. I gotta go. 131 00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:06,690 Drama. Love it! This is what I wanted. 132 00:06:06,710 --> 00:06:09,040 - Who needs a drink? - I could use a little seltzer water. 133 00:06:09,070 --> 00:06:11,829 - More bubbly, Claire? - Mm, I will be after I get a drink. 134 00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:15,270 See, that's what gay is supposed to be like. 135 00:06:15,490 --> 00:06:16,290 Okay, I don't know about you, 136 00:06:16,310 --> 00:06:17,770 but I got about five minutes of fabulous left in me. 137 00:06:17,790 --> 00:06:19,480 Yeah, in my mind, I'm already in our kitchen. 138 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:22,510 I'm watching my potpie rotate in the microwave. 139 00:06:22,540 --> 00:06:24,589 Okay. Okay. When did hats come back? 140 00:06:24,590 --> 00:06:25,980 That one's come back about eight times. 141 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,930 Pick a side of the room, lady. 142 00:06:27,950 --> 00:06:31,180 All right, there's, like, a thousand people waiting for wine. 143 00:06:31,210 --> 00:06:32,580 I wanna try on a couple of dresses, 144 00:06:32,610 --> 00:06:35,530 and then Julian here's gonna take us to a club across town. 145 00:06:35,550 --> 00:06:37,390 I think we're gonna go home. 146 00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:39,140 What? Why? It's 9:30. 147 00:06:39,170 --> 00:06:40,740 It's 9:30? 148 00:06:40,790 --> 00:06:43,050 When did you two become such old women? 149 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:45,230 First, you take me to that senior center for porridge, 150 00:06:45,270 --> 00:06:47,170 and now you can't even stay up past Luke's bedtime? 151 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,850 - It's Friday. We get tired on Fridays. - We get very tired. 152 00:06:49,870 --> 00:06:53,330 I have 3 children. I've been tired since 2005. 153 00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:55,250 Let's rally. You're my ride. 154 00:06:55,300 --> 00:06:57,560 If you want to stay out, I can take you home. 155 00:06:57,610 --> 00:06:59,040 - Really? - Of course. 156 00:06:59,890 --> 00:07:04,400 Okay. All right, girls, go home, roll up your hair, clap out the lights, 157 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:08,780 'cause this guy, who I just met, is gonna show me a good time. 158 00:07:08,810 --> 00:07:12,060 Okay, well, if he was straight, this would be just like High School. 159 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,170 This is ridiculous. 160 00:07:15,210 --> 00:07:18,330 She's obviously got a pistol under that poncho. 161 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:20,380 How do you watch this stuff? 162 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,390 He's been up there for more than one hour. I can't stand this. 163 00:07:22,410 --> 00:07:25,680 Who's been up there? Ronaldo's doing the dishes right in front of her. 164 00:07:25,700 --> 00:07:27,250 Manny, in his bedroom. 165 00:07:27,270 --> 00:07:29,240 Gloria, are you even watching this? 166 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:30,670 I'm doing this for you. 167 00:07:30,690 --> 00:07:34,560 What does he has in that box that he cannot show to me? 168 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:37,060 Little boys are supposed to keep secrets from their mothers. 169 00:07:37,061 --> 00:07:39,940 Wait. The judge just peeked through the window. 170 00:07:39,970 --> 00:07:41,940 Is he interested in Celia now? 171 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:43,410 She could be his daughter. 172 00:07:43,450 --> 00:07:46,070 I bet it's a birthday gift for me. 173 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:48,770 Yeah, that sounds right. What's he saying? 174 00:07:48,820 --> 00:07:50,740 I've never seen him this mad. 175 00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:52,690 Wait a minute. 176 00:07:52,740 --> 00:07:56,030 I already found my birthday gift underneath his bed. 177 00:07:56,070 --> 00:07:57,780 It's a giant hat. 178 00:07:57,830 --> 00:07:59,750 When did hats came back anyway? 179 00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:01,460 Now she's reaching under the poncho. 180 00:08:01,470 --> 00:08:03,470 Like she's gonna shoot Ronaldo. 181 00:08:03,490 --> 00:08:05,140 He's the main character, right? 182 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:06,260 That's it. I'm going up there. 183 00:08:06,310 --> 00:08:07,980 Wait, Gloria. No. Don't go. 184 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,410 - Why not? - Think about it. 185 00:08:09,420 --> 00:08:12,010 13-year-old boy, talks about girls all day long. 186 00:08:12,020 --> 00:08:14,880 We have more security on these computers than the Pentagon. 187 00:08:14,890 --> 00:08:18,100 What do you think he's doing up there... alone? 188 00:08:19,580 --> 00:08:21,410 Do you think he ordered some movies? 189 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:23,240 Movies, magazines, whatever the hell. 190 00:08:23,260 --> 00:08:26,010 How dare do you say that, Jay?! 191 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:28,559 He's a little boy! He's just a boy. 192 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:30,460 I don't want to talk to you. I'm gonna take a walk. 193 00:08:30,461 --> 00:08:34,060 Gloria, come on. Come back. I know you're not mad at me. 194 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:37,860 You just... Oh! What'd she do? 195 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,170 Ronaldo! 196 00:08:42,060 --> 00:08:43,700 Wang chung! 197 00:08:43,750 --> 00:08:45,840 Pay up, gentlemen! 198 00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:50,040 Yes! Thank you! 199 00:08:50,070 --> 00:08:51,950 Really? That's so nice. 200 00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,540 Another pitcher, my good woman. 201 00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:56,620 Claire would have killed me if she'd known that I let Haley go off alone 202 00:08:56,640 --> 00:09:01,020 while I chilled in a bar with some undergrads, but I happen to trust my daughter. 203 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:05,400 Also, I was tracking her location with the GPS on her phone. 204 00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:09,910 Fellas, Cedar and Los Alamos. That's, uh... Pi Chi house? 205 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,610 Pi Chi? 206 00:09:20,730 --> 00:09:23,590 Oh, come on. Why is my Bluetooth not working? 207 00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:26,810 Oh, God. It's Longinus. He's gonna be so mad at us. 208 00:09:26,850 --> 00:09:28,860 Hey, Longe. Don't be mad at us for leaving. 209 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:30,800 I went back to our spot, and everybody was gone. 210 00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:32,290 Who does that to a sister?! 211 00:09:32,330 --> 00:09:35,600 We're sorry, but the sitter called, and, uh, Lily was running a fever. 212 00:09:35,650 --> 00:09:39,940 So... we feel even worse about dumping Claire on you and your hot date. 213 00:09:39,970 --> 00:09:44,239 Who is gorgeous, by the way. Seems super funny, too. Perfect for you. 214 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:47,610 Please, I wish that was a date. He's my trainer, and he's straight. 215 00:09:47,630 --> 00:09:48,950 What? Julian's straight. 216 00:09:48,980 --> 00:09:52,700 Oh, I love it when a straight person and a gay person go out together. 217 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:54,370 I'd love it a lot more if he was gay. 218 00:09:54,390 --> 00:09:56,490 Oh, my God. This isn't our car. 219 00:09:56,510 --> 00:09:57,570 - What? - This isn't our Prius! 220 00:09:57,610 --> 00:09:59,810 They... they must've given us the wrong one at the valet. 221 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,550 That's why the Bluetooth isn't working. 222 00:10:01,580 --> 00:10:03,610 - We stole a car? Are you serious? - What's happening? 223 00:10:03,630 --> 00:10:05,450 Oh, we stole a car. Uh, we gotta go. 224 00:10:05,460 --> 00:10:08,140 Okay, we did not steal a car, Cam. It was given to us. 225 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:10,600 Why are you giving me attitude? You're the one that stole a car. 226 00:10:10,630 --> 00:10:13,610 How is this a stolen car?! How?! 227 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:16,240 I don't know! I'm confused! Do you have an aspirin? 228 00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:18,010 This isn't my car! 229 00:10:22,390 --> 00:10:25,260 Hey, Lukie. Hi. What's going on? 230 00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:28,750 I'll check. 231 00:10:28,770 --> 00:10:30,420 I have it. 232 00:10:30,460 --> 00:10:33,860 Well, I could bring it by and meet you outside in 20 minutes? 233 00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:35,560 No, sw... out... out... Outside, sweetie. 234 00:10:35,590 --> 00:10:37,680 Okay. Bye-bye. 235 00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:40,360 Do you mind swinging by my kid's sleepover? 236 00:10:40,370 --> 00:10:42,640 I gotta give him this retainer. It's on the way to the club. 237 00:10:42,690 --> 00:10:44,590 Sure, no problem. 238 00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:45,950 You are so sweet. 239 00:10:45,980 --> 00:10:49,050 Holy pythons, Batman. Do you ever leave the gym? 240 00:10:49,100 --> 00:10:51,370 Uh, no. Actually, I'm a trainer and a masseur. 241 00:10:51,390 --> 00:10:54,990 Oh, my God. I'm gonna have to try out that second one. 242 00:10:55,020 --> 00:10:57,180 Zip, please. 243 00:10:57,200 --> 00:11:01,390 I gotta say, this night is turning out to be a lot more fun than I expected. 244 00:11:01,420 --> 00:11:04,940 I've got two kids at sleepovers and one upstate with daddy. 245 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:08,280 The fun is just beginning. 246 00:11:12,780 --> 00:11:15,230 Unbelievable. The valet gave our car away to someone, like, 247 00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:16,750 and hour and a half ago. 248 00:11:16,770 --> 00:11:20,780 You know what that means. Our potpies could be anywhere by now. 249 00:11:21,290 --> 00:11:24,050 Y... they probably went home. If... if we knew their address, 250 00:11:24,070 --> 00:11:25,820 maybe we could see if our car was there. 251 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,020 Oh, yeah. And how do you propose we do that? 252 00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:30,630 Calculating route home. 253 00:11:30,780 --> 00:11:34,350 Oh, you're good. Oh, and look. Only .6 miles away. 254 00:11:34,380 --> 00:11:37,480 Prepare to turn right in 500 feet. 255 00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:40,150 Notice how she didn't wait until after the turn to tell me, Cam? 256 00:11:40,170 --> 00:11:42,490 - Really? This? Now? - I'm just... 257 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:44,030 Oh, look. They went to see Jay-Z. 258 00:11:44,050 --> 00:11:45,510 We almost went to see Jay-Z, didn't we? 259 00:11:45,550 --> 00:11:47,470 No, no, no, 'cause remember it started at 8:30. 260 00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:49,760 Oh, yeah, which meant he wouldn't have gone on until 10:00. 261 00:11:49,780 --> 00:11:52,800 - And then that parking nightmare. - Oh, and those stairs. 262 00:11:52,850 --> 00:11:54,750 Okay, I'm hearing it now. 263 00:11:54,770 --> 00:11:56,560 Is Claire right? Are we in a rut? 264 00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:58,790 Well, we might be, especially compared to these people. 265 00:11:58,810 --> 00:12:01,440 Look at this. Cancun luggage tickets. 266 00:12:01,490 --> 00:12:03,210 A parking pass to Yosemite. 267 00:12:03,230 --> 00:12:05,840 A triathlon bib. This is living. 268 00:12:05,890 --> 00:12:08,260 No, but you know what? We have Lily, okay? 269 00:12:08,300 --> 00:12:09,930 I know. You can't do that with a child. 270 00:12:09,950 --> 00:12:11,990 They have a car seat. 271 00:12:12,030 --> 00:12:13,480 Okay, fine, we're in a rut. 272 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,880 Destination ahead in 900 feet. 273 00:12:15,890 --> 00:12:18,650 You know, maybe we just need to be around more stimulating people. 274 00:12:18,700 --> 00:12:20,470 Well, we're gonna be in about 900 feet. 275 00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:22,810 It's not the craziest idea. They seem like fun people. 276 00:12:22,830 --> 00:12:24,780 Yeah, and maybe we can be new couples friends with them. 277 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:26,700 You know, we can go out to concerts, 278 00:12:26,740 --> 00:12:29,510 try exciting new food, maybe do some luxury camping. 279 00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:33,440 Yeah, hitch our wagon to their star and see how fast they spice up our life. 280 00:12:33,460 --> 00:12:34,470 You have arrived. 281 00:12:34,530 --> 00:12:37,100 I believe we have. 282 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:39,410 You dumb son of a bitch! 283 00:12:39,430 --> 00:12:42,520 - Oh, my God! Oh, my God. - What's happening?! 284 00:12:42,530 --> 00:12:46,329 I can't believe you came back here, you filthy, cheating pig! 285 00:12:46,330 --> 00:12:47,570 Where is she? Where is she?! 286 00:12:47,571 --> 00:12:49,610 I'm trying! We are in a rut! 287 00:12:49,630 --> 00:12:51,270 Really? You wanna talk about that right now? 288 00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:54,310 No, we are stuck! We're in an actual rut. We're stuck. 289 00:12:54,330 --> 00:12:56,420 - Ohh! - Oh, my God. Oh, my God! 290 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,270 We are victims of a hate crime right now! 291 00:12:58,290 --> 00:13:00,080 - Go! Go! - Oh, my God! 292 00:13:05,110 --> 00:13:06,500 Oh, no, you don't. 293 00:13:06,540 --> 00:13:07,658 Dad, what are you doing here? 294 00:13:07,659 --> 00:13:09,370 - What's this, buddy. - Ginger ale. 295 00:13:09,410 --> 00:13:11,850 Oh, really? 'Cause is smells... Okay, it smells like ginger ale. 296 00:13:11,870 --> 00:13:13,090 But that doesn't prove anything. 297 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:14,640 - What the hell? - We are leaving. 298 00:13:14,650 --> 00:13:16,910 - I'm having a nice time with... - With this clown? 299 00:13:16,950 --> 00:13:20,860 And by the way, it's a little cliche to pick someone who looks exactly like your dad. 300 00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:22,430 I got your number, Pi Chi. 301 00:13:22,450 --> 00:13:24,650 - I know you. - Yeah, you do. 302 00:13:24,690 --> 00:13:27,480 This is Ben Ford. He's in my class. He's visiting, too. 303 00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:29,130 You were my T-ball coach. 304 00:13:29,150 --> 00:13:33,190 My dad's your doctor. He's right over there. 305 00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:35,030 What is wrong with you? 306 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,579 Are you trying to ruin college for me before I even get here? 307 00:13:37,580 --> 00:13:40,740 No, I-I'm not. I am so sorry. You are not a clown. 308 00:13:40,780 --> 00:13:43,240 You were an excellent backup shortstop. 309 00:13:43,260 --> 00:13:47,540 Alecia. Bruce. Go, bullfrogs... Dogs! Go, bulldogs. 310 00:13:47,570 --> 00:13:49,150 Claire! 311 00:13:49,190 --> 00:13:51,250 Wow. Really? 312 00:13:51,270 --> 00:13:53,190 No, it's just a shock, is all. 313 00:13:53,220 --> 00:13:54,370 Jay? 314 00:13:54,390 --> 00:13:56,840 So Celia's carrying the judge's baby. 315 00:13:56,910 --> 00:13:59,330 No wonder she shot him. She's hormonal. 316 00:13:59,350 --> 00:14:00,950 - Who are you talking to? - The housekeeper. 317 00:14:00,990 --> 00:14:04,300 Maria, I've gotta go. Thanks a lot. 318 00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:07,050 - Jay, I need you to talk to Manny. - What? 319 00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:08,760 Well, if he's doing what you think he's doing, 320 00:14:08,790 --> 00:14:10,520 then he needs to talk to a man. 321 00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,240 I don't want him to be ashame of anything. 322 00:14:12,260 --> 00:14:13,600 Then you don't want to send me in there. 323 00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:16,060 Yeah, but what if... if he has questions? 324 00:14:16,090 --> 00:14:17,300 What if he doesn't know how to... 325 00:14:17,330 --> 00:14:21,020 Gloria, Gloria, whatever he's going through, he can work it out himself. 326 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:22,630 Help! I'm stuck! 327 00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:24,530 Ay, no, Jay, go. I beg of you! 328 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:25,940 - Go! Go! Go! - Gloria. 329 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,270 I'm extremely reluctant to do this. 330 00:14:28,290 --> 00:14:29,760 Please hurry! 331 00:14:29,780 --> 00:14:32,190 Ay, no. I cannot look at this. 332 00:14:32,210 --> 00:14:35,440 - What the hell? - I can't get down, Jay. 333 00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:38,240 What? What happened to Manny?! 334 00:14:38,260 --> 00:14:39,790 Ay, somebody say something to me! 335 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:43,380 - Gloria, it's okay. Come on in. - Okay. 336 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:46,120 He was hanging from that bar up there. 337 00:14:46,130 --> 00:14:48,960 What? Why? What do you have on your head? 338 00:14:48,990 --> 00:14:52,040 It's a weighted helmet to stretch me so I can get taller. 339 00:14:52,460 --> 00:14:55,540 Manny! Why do you have to get tall now? 340 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:57,250 Love, mom. Why else? 341 00:14:57,270 --> 00:15:01,000 I lost Bella to Durkus because, in her words, "he's tall." 342 00:15:01,060 --> 00:15:03,330 Everybody else is getting taller but me. 343 00:15:03,350 --> 00:15:04,210 You think it's the coffee? 344 00:15:04,230 --> 00:15:06,300 No. Maybe. 345 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,590 But... but hanging downside up is not gonna help you. 346 00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:11,660 The web site said it would. 347 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:17,010 Listen, Manny, you're already intelligent and beautiful and funny. 348 00:15:17,030 --> 00:15:20,190 If you get tall, you're going to have everything, 349 00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:24,490 and those poor boys are not gonna have anything to compete with you. 350 00:15:24,530 --> 00:15:25,960 Look at this. 351 00:15:25,980 --> 00:15:28,230 You have a mark on your head now. 352 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:31,570 I'm gonna go get you some ice, okay? 353 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:33,840 That's a lot of pretty words, but they don't help me tomorrow. 354 00:15:33,841 --> 00:15:36,080 Sorry, kid. It's just one of those things. 355 00:15:36,090 --> 00:15:38,329 You get taller when you get taller. 356 00:15:38,330 --> 00:15:40,890 Why don't you get ready for bed? 357 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:48,590 Ah, jeez. 358 00:15:48,650 --> 00:15:52,550 You know, when I was your age, I started working out to get the girls. 359 00:15:52,590 --> 00:15:54,530 - You think that would help? - Yeah. 360 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:58,130 So tomorrow, we start working out. Okay? 361 00:15:58,380 --> 00:16:03,580 Maybe I'll even show you a few pull-ups on, uh, this bad boy here, huh? 362 00:16:07,260 --> 00:16:09,370 You see that? 363 00:16:09,580 --> 00:16:13,710 Pretty soon, that's how strong... you're gonna be. 364 00:16:14,550 --> 00:16:15,600 Thanks, mom. 365 00:16:15,620 --> 00:16:17,540 - I don't want them to know I was here. - Okay. 366 00:16:17,570 --> 00:16:20,050 Oh, Claire, I thought that was you. Thank God. Come in. 367 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:22,700 I can't. 'Cause I'm sick, remember? Sorry. 368 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,400 Well, my DVD player just broke, and none of us know how "Gone with the wind" ends. 369 00:16:25,420 --> 00:16:26,368 But you saw it, right? I... 370 00:16:26,369 --> 00:16:27,800 - Oh, is that Claire? - Yeah. 371 00:16:27,810 --> 00:16:29,090 Can you tell us what happened? 372 00:16:29,110 --> 00:16:31,300 I could, but I don't want to ruin it for you. 373 00:16:31,310 --> 00:16:33,420 Claire. Just tell us. 374 00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:40,070 Um... Scarlett is... really mad at Clark Gable 375 00:16:40,090 --> 00:16:42,910 because, um, he says so many bad things. 376 00:16:42,940 --> 00:16:46,360 And didn't he, um, burn down a farm or something? 377 00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:48,920 Claire, have you been drinking? 378 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:52,920 I had a hot toddy. Made one for my throat. 379 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,700 Pretty dressed up for a night in bed, right? 380 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,490 Yeah, I-I just threw on the first thing I could find... 381 00:16:57,500 --> 00:16:59,360 when Luke called, and it was just right there on the chair. 382 00:16:59,380 --> 00:17:00,590 She has a stamp on her hand. 383 00:17:00,610 --> 00:17:01,890 Okay. All right. 384 00:17:01,910 --> 00:17:04,400 Before we bust out the pitchforks and the torches, 385 00:17:04,420 --> 00:17:07,390 may I remind you that I've driven every one of your children home 386 00:17:07,420 --> 00:17:09,500 and Heimliched at least one, Bethenny. 387 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:10,930 - Hi. - Hello. 388 00:17:10,970 --> 00:17:13,400 This is totally inappropriate. But could I use your bathroom? 389 00:17:13,420 --> 00:17:14,730 Sorry. You kept pushing the drinks. 390 00:17:14,770 --> 00:17:17,630 I... friend. Gay friend. Gay. 391 00:17:17,660 --> 00:17:19,490 - I'm not gay. - Yes, you are. 392 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:22,360 I-I'm not gay. I'm... I'm French. You thought I was gay? 393 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:24,300 - Are you serious right now? - Well, are you? 394 00:17:24,330 --> 00:17:25,780 You've been throwing yourself at me all night. 395 00:17:25,781 --> 00:17:27,400 No, no. No, I have not. 396 00:17:27,410 --> 00:17:30,170 - Bethenny, grab the Pinot. - Bethenny, do not grab the Pinot. 397 00:17:30,210 --> 00:17:33,390 You undressed in front of me. You squeezed my arm. 398 00:17:33,740 --> 00:17:35,680 You asked me for a massage. What was all that? 399 00:17:35,681 --> 00:17:39,510 That was... that was me safely objectifying a gay person. 400 00:17:39,530 --> 00:17:43,389 Wow, Claire! When I wrote "don't ever change" in your yearbook, 401 00:17:43,390 --> 00:17:44,970 I didn't mean it like this. 402 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,850 Oh, ease up, Holly. 403 00:17:46,870 --> 00:17:48,610 Okay, I lied. 404 00:17:48,630 --> 00:17:52,149 I lied, but I get one night to myself, 405 00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:56,050 and I just wanted to spend it with some fun gay people. 406 00:17:56,070 --> 00:17:58,018 It's not my fault this one decided to be straight. 407 00:17:58,019 --> 00:17:59,188 I've always been straight. 408 00:17:59,189 --> 00:18:00,620 Oh, you don't get to talk! 409 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:03,250 I took fashion advice from you! 410 00:18:03,270 --> 00:18:05,320 Oh, my God. Do I even look good in this dress? 411 00:18:05,340 --> 00:18:07,820 No. Not you. 412 00:18:07,850 --> 00:18:09,699 It's really short, isn't it? 413 00:18:09,700 --> 00:18:12,500 - It's short. - Yeah. 414 00:18:13,030 --> 00:18:16,360 Please? Please, just listen to me for one second. 415 00:18:16,380 --> 00:18:18,130 Go away! Stop following me! 416 00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:20,240 Hey, you wanna tell me why you're bothering this young lady? 417 00:18:20,270 --> 00:18:22,859 Oh, no, no, no, no. Officer, this is my daughter. Tell him. 418 00:18:22,860 --> 00:18:23,920 Tonight, I don't know who you are. 419 00:18:23,940 --> 00:18:26,590 She's... she's joking. 420 00:18:26,610 --> 00:18:29,920 I'm not dangerous. In fact, I-I-I helped to put all the lights on this path. 421 00:18:29,940 --> 00:18:32,430 20 years ago, some friends and I took back the night. 422 00:18:32,431 --> 00:18:36,890 So... I-I think I just... I embarrassed her a little. 423 00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:38,110 "A little"? 424 00:18:38,140 --> 00:18:40,770 That sweatshirt embarrasses me "a little." 425 00:18:40,810 --> 00:18:43,350 Yep, that's a daughter. 426 00:18:43,370 --> 00:18:46,480 Tonight was insane. Why did you have to act like that? 427 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:49,020 You were at that party. I see you talking to frat boys, and... 428 00:18:49,050 --> 00:18:52,410 Isn't that why we're here, so I can experience college? 429 00:18:52,420 --> 00:18:55,690 I mean, what are you gonna do when I actually go? 430 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,700 I don't know. Freak out, I think. 431 00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:07,500 Look... your whole life, my job has been to protect you... 432 00:19:07,530 --> 00:19:10,200 a job I kinda love. 433 00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:14,070 Now I feel like I'm being forced into early retirement. 434 00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:18,130 I just needed to find you and make sure you were okay... 435 00:19:19,070 --> 00:19:22,800 for as long as I still get to do that. 436 00:19:24,770 --> 00:19:29,850 Just like you... piss me off and then say something sweet. 437 00:19:31,430 --> 00:19:34,400 I'm not leaving until the fall. 438 00:19:34,460 --> 00:19:39,390 Maybe by then I can figure out how to put a force field around you. 439 00:19:39,860 --> 00:19:40,930 I've been working on that one 440 00:19:40,950 --> 00:19:43,780 since the first time I tried to fasten you into your car seat. 441 00:19:45,790 --> 00:19:48,700 I pinched your chunky little thigh. 442 00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:55,580 Even though you basically just called me fat. 443 00:19:57,650 --> 00:20:01,210 So... is it really fun? 444 00:20:01,630 --> 00:20:02,360 What? 445 00:20:09,850 --> 00:20:11,280 No! 446 00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:13,320 We all struggle with limitations... 447 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:15,769 Some we're willing to accept... 448 00:20:15,770 --> 00:20:20,060 You know, I just wanna be home, reading on opposite ends of the sofa. 449 00:20:20,090 --> 00:20:21,620 And some we're not. 450 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,380 I'm so embarrassed I did that. 451 00:20:23,420 --> 00:20:26,050 I'm just so happy that that was all it was. 452 00:20:26,070 --> 00:20:28,610 Why? What'd you think I was doing? 453 00:20:28,660 --> 00:20:31,140 It's never too late to grow in life. 454 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:32,950 Oh, my God! 455 00:20:33,870 --> 00:20:39,570 "Thanks to our patented lengthenator, you can increase your height by up to 4 inches." 456 00:20:39,590 --> 00:20:42,130 I can't believe he would spend $50 on this thing. 457 00:20:42,150 --> 00:20:46,070 I know. He could've got a 2-year subscription to "Playboy" for that. 458 00:20:46,090 --> 00:20:50,860 He's not getting the "Playboy" ever! He's a little boy! 459 00:20:52,780 --> 00:20:54,370 Wouldn't it be great if we woke up tomorrow 460 00:20:54,371 --> 00:20:55,960 and our car had found its way home? 461 00:20:55,970 --> 00:20:57,590 Yeah, I feel that's not the way it's gonna happen. 462 00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:59,150 Happened on the farm one time. 463 00:20:59,170 --> 00:21:01,959 A tornado scooped up one of our calves, dropped it who knows where. 464 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:05,220 Six months later, a full-grown cow comes walking up the driveway... 465 00:21:05,370 --> 00:21:07,450 same markings, same moo. That night, we... 466 00:21:07,470 --> 00:21:10,470 We ate like kings. Okay, I've told it before. 467 00:21:11,030 --> 00:21:14,040 Oh, my gosh! It's our car! 468 00:21:14,530 --> 00:21:16,500 I see you've met my wife. 469 00:21:16,530 --> 00:21:20,440 Synced by YYeTs, corrected by gloriabg www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net