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English (HI) Subtitles.
[MP4] Modern Family S06E16 (720p) Connection Lost - HDTV [KoTuWa]
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[ Ringing ]
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What's the best
first-person shooter
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about genetically modified
space marines?
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Halo!
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Honey, have you been playing your
new little video game all day?
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When you say it in that tone,
it implies that Luke and I
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haven't been spending
quality time together.
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- Which we have.
- Can I talk to him?
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Sure thing. Luke!
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I don't think he's here.
I mean, I-I know he's not here.
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Where is he?
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I am certain he is probably out
with his usual crew of cut-ups.
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You're not doing laundry,
are you?
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God, no. But I'm about to
if I'm supposed to.
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No, no.
Don't. Don't.
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But can you vacuum out the
dryer vent before I get home?
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I will absolutely do that.
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Thanks.
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[ Keyboard clacking ]
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I can't get in touch
with Haley.
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I haven't talked to her
since we got in that fight.
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She around?
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I think she slept
at a friend's house.
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What friend?
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Um... not a normal name,
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starts with a vowel,
possibly foreign.
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Oh, maybe Alex knows.
Is she home?
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Nope.
I have not seen her for hours.
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Does Haley know an Arjibarge?
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- Hi, mom.
- Hi, honey. Where are you?
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I'm in the kitchen.
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Alex?
When'd you get home?
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I've been here all day.
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Oh. You should get outside,
get some fresh air.
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It's a beautiful morning.
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It's noon,
and it's freezing out.
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Phil, honey, when I'm not home,
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I need you to be present
and keep track of everyone.
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Sounds good.
Love you, too.
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Alex, do you know
where Haley is?
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Mm...
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I mean, I know she was
babysitting Lily last night,
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but I haven't seen her since.
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By the way, don't read the draft
I sent you last night
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of my college essay.
I just sent you a new version.
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Uh, okay. I will go read
that one right now.
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[ Call ends ]
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[ Mouse clicks ]
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[ Keyboard clacking ]
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[ Message chimes ]
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[ Message chimes ]
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[ Mouse clicking ]
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Oh, my God. What are you doing?
Are you filming me?
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Yes! I want you to see
how crazy you are acting.
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Me?! I come to talk to you
about something important,
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and then you start chasing me
around with a camera!
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I asked you to clean up
the kitchen nine hours ago
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when I left for work.
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I come back,
and it's the exact same mess,
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plus pickles and peanut butter!
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I was running around doing stuff
for my crazy boss all day,
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and then I got hungry,
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and then the smell from the
garbage almost made me throw up!
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That's exactly how I feel!
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Leave me alone!
I have a lot on my plate!
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Yes. Yes, I can see that, honey.
You left it in the sink!
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Oh, my God!
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I waited in line for two hours,
but I got it.
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Ooh, we making a home movie?
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Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
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[ Ringing ]
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[ Mouse clicking ]
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[ Keyboard clacking ]
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[ Ringing continues ]
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_
Jay: Hello?
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Hey, dad. Dad, take the phone
away from your ear.
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Why would I do this?
Now I can't hear you.
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Put it in front of your face.
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Oh!
How'd you get in my phone?
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Does this mean
when we talked the other day
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- that you knew I was in the can?
- I do now.
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- How was the presentation?
- Actually went really well.
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The client loves
the whole re-design.
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They just want us
to swap out the handles...
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Damn it!
I know.
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Only knobs want knobs.
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No, Joe bit me.
He's teething.
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I don't think it's a coincidence
that Andy took the weekend off.
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Ow!
Kid's like a beaver.
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I'm afraid to wear short pants.
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- Hola, Claire.
- Hey, Gloria.
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How's your trip?
Are you having any fun? _
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Uh... Yeah. You know,
it's a little windy, but, eh. _
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So, you're okay with me
cutting Luke's hair, right?
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- Hey, mom.
- Well, hello.
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It's nice to know you're not
dead in an alley somewhere.
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Right back at you.
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Yes, I am fine with you
cutting his hair.
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Just don't leave it too long
on the sides.
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I am very good
cutting boys' hair.
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You should let me
cut yours someday.
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Okay, bye-bye, Gloria.
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Jay: You still there?
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[ Messenger chimes ] _
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Crap. Dad, did you know it was
Mitchell's birthday today?
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Of course.
I already called him
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because
I'm a considerate person
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who really cares
about his family.
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I reminded him
and dialed the phone.
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- Mm.
- Fly safe.
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And remember you can recline.
It's still America up there.
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Thanks, dad.
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[ Call ends ]
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[ Ringing ]
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[ Sighs ]
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[ Ping ]
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Happy birthday!
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Oh, hey.
Is it still my birthday?
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Watch it, or I'll sing to you.
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- ♪ Ha... ♪
- Okay, okay, I give.
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Okay.
So, have you had a good day?
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Yes, thank you.
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Uh, Lily, she made me her famous
chocolate-chip scrambled eggs...
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- Ooh.
- ...which she then watched me eat.
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- Ooh.
- Yeah.
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- You got my present, didn't you?
- No.
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Darn it. They promised
it would be there on time. _
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Oh, well,
I can't wait to open it
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and check the date
on the invoice.
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- Hey, is that Claire?
- Yeah.
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- Hi, Claire!
- Hi.
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Hi. Hey, uh, did you, uh,
show her my gift yet?
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No.
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- Come on, show her, show her.
- Okay. Yeah.
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It's good.
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[ Chuckles ] Wow,
shalom and chh-appy birthday.
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I know, right?
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Isn't it fantastic?
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Hey, Claire, did you get me
some Garrett's cheese
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and caramel corn yet?
Oh, shoot, I forgot.
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It's the one thing
you had to do in Chicago!
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You are so right.
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I'm sorry that I let myself
get distracted by my job.
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Okay, I'm looking for sweet
and salty, Claire, not bitter.
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_
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[ Stifled chuckle ]
Relax, Cam.
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I'm sure there's a kiosk
around here that sells it.
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Good.
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Guys, listen, yesterday,
did Haley mention
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where she was gonna go
after she babysat for Lily?
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No, but when you do talk to her,
can you tell her
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to please be careful
with my powder-blue suit
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that Cam let her borrow
without asking me?
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Why did she want a suit?
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A friend of hers needs it
for a wedding,
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and Mitchell needs to stop dressing
like he's in a barbershop quartet.
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- Oh.
- Lily, honey,
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did Haley say where she was
going when she left here?
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- Who wants to know?
- Aunt Claire.
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Hey, Aunt Claire. I heard
you were being mean to Haley.
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I was not mean to Haley.
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Okay, you're screaming.
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I don't know where she went.
Maybe Dylan knows.
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Dylan?
Why would Dylan know?
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He came over, and they were
talking on the couch
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while I was
in the other room...
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behaving.
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She's still talking to Dylan?
Really?
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- [ Ringing ]
- Oh, wait, guys, I got to go.
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Uh, happy birthday, Babs.
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What does she mean by that?
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[ Call ends ]
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Hi, honey.
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Oh, don't read that last draft.
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I just changed something
in paragraph three.
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Oh, oh, that's too bad.
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Paragraph three had
some of my favorite...
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Oh, please, I can see your eyes
darting around the screen.
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Just read the new one.
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Can you just do me a favor
and call your sister?
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[ Scoffs ] If she's screening,
I'm not making the cut.
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Why don't you just snoop
on her Facebook page
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with your fake profile?
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[ Keyboard clacking ]
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I don't have a fake profile.
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[ Scoffs ] Mom, save it.
Brody Kendall just logged in.
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That trick might've worked
on Haley,
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but I know that's a picture
of Chachi.
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[ Gasps ] Oh, my God. _
What?
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Please tell me
that's some kind of mistake!
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Where?
Which paragraph?
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Get your father... now!
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[ Sighs ]
Dad, mom needs you!
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Tell her I'm in the shower!
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Honey, who do we call?
What do we do?
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There's no way Haley's married.
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[ Sighs ] Then why did she
change her Facebook status?
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She probably didn't.
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It could be a computer glitch,
someone hacked her account.
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I just think we should stay calm
until we know the story.
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Honey, I cannot get on a plane
for four hours
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and be out of touch
and not know what happened!
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It's not just
the Facebook thing.
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She borrowed a blue suit
from Mitchell for a wedding.
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Something borrowed, something blue?
Do you get it?
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- Who would she even marry?
- [ Sighs ]
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I don't know, but she was
with Dylan yesterday,
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and if she was gonna marry him,
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she would definitely hide that
from us.
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But that makes no sense.
Why wouldn't he call me?
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[ Ringing ]
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- Oh, hey, Mrs. D.
- Hey, Dylan!
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Oh, hi, Mr. D!
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- Are you with Haley?
- In what way?
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Physically, romantically,
maritally?
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00:08:07,209 --> 00:08:09,377
No. I'm at work.
I have a career now.
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Oh.
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Hey, uh, can you hold this phone
for a second?
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So, you have no idea
where Haley is right now?
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You mean spiritually,
geographically?
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Can you please stop
spinning that sign?
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No.
My boss says if I do,
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he'll replace me
with one of those guys!
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Go back to where you came from!
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Dylan, focus!
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I don't know where she is,
but I can sense that she's okay.
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It's like
we share the same brain.
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Alex: Who has it now?
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Okay, so, last night
when you were with her,
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she didn't say anything
about getting married?
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Haley got married?!
That's so upsetting!
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[ Grunts ] Done.
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[ Call ends ]
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[ Mouse clicks, ringing ]
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[ Keyboard clacking ]
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[ Ping ]
Hi, mom.
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Do you have Haley's
iCloud password?
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Yeah, she gave it to me
in a little envelope
251
00:09:00,728 --> 00:09:02,929
with her diary key and a list
of things she's most afraid of.
252
00:09:02,996 --> 00:09:04,731
[ Sighs ]
Maybe we could guess it.
253
00:09:04,798 --> 00:09:06,866
Claire,
you accidentally hung up on me.
254
00:09:06,934 --> 00:09:09,435
Oh, yeah, well, honey,
you know me and computers.
255
00:09:09,503 --> 00:09:11,437
Mom's trying to guess
Haley's iCloud password,
256
00:09:11,505 --> 00:09:13,906
which, personally, I think
is an invasion of her privacy.
257
00:09:14,474 --> 00:09:16,208
Ooh, try "password."
258
00:09:16,276 --> 00:09:18,143
[ Keyboard clacking ]
259
00:09:18,211 --> 00:09:19,645
I'm kind of glad
that didn't work.
260
00:09:19,713 --> 00:09:21,380
Wait, I think I remember
telling her to use something
261
00:09:21,448 --> 00:09:22,815
that people wouldn't know
about her,
262
00:09:22,882 --> 00:09:24,950
- like her favorite literary character.
- [ Scoffs ]
263
00:09:27,074 --> 00:09:28,319
- I'm in!
- What? What was it?
264
00:09:28,887 --> 00:09:30,188
- Snoopy.
- Wow.
265
00:09:30,255 --> 00:09:32,089
And that could be
your new nickname.
266
00:09:32,157 --> 00:09:35,092
Okay.
"Find my iPhone."
267
00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:37,395
Oh, no!
She's in Vegas.
268
00:09:37,462 --> 00:09:38,663
Are you serious?
269
00:09:38,730 --> 00:09:40,698
Oh, hang on. I'm zooming in.
Hold on, hold on.
270
00:09:40,766 --> 00:09:43,200
Let me see what I can, uh...
271
00:09:43,268 --> 00:09:45,303
Come on.
272
00:09:45,370 --> 00:09:47,672
And... oh, God! _
273
00:09:47,739 --> 00:09:49,373
Honey, she's at
a wedding chapel!
274
00:09:49,441 --> 00:09:51,509
Okay, that's troubling,
but think about it.
275
00:09:51,576 --> 00:09:53,978
If she's not with Dylan,
who would she be marrying?
276
00:09:54,046 --> 00:09:56,180
I don't know! Alex, she had to
have told you something!
277
00:09:56,248 --> 00:09:58,449
Okay, you are really rubbing in
our lack of closeness.
278
00:09:58,517 --> 00:10:00,384
She won't even tell me
what conditioner she uses.
279
00:10:00,452 --> 00:10:02,419
I have 12 minutes!
Think!
280
00:10:02,487 --> 00:10:04,255
Uh... I don't know.
Ask Uncle Mitchell.
281
00:10:04,322 --> 00:10:05,990
They're always giggling
about boys.
282
00:10:06,057 --> 00:10:07,625
Oh! Oh, good!
Okay, yes, I'm gonna do that.
283
00:10:07,692 --> 00:10:08,959
I'm calling him.
284
00:10:09,027 --> 00:10:11,295
If it helps, I can alert my
magician contacts in Vegas.
285
00:10:11,363 --> 00:10:13,631
Although, they are better
at making girls disappear
286
00:10:13,698 --> 00:10:15,432
than they are finding them.
287
00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:17,334
[ Call ends, ping ]
288
00:10:17,402 --> 00:10:18,535
What?
289
00:10:18,603 --> 00:10:20,471
Lily, honey,
I need you get Mitchell.
290
00:10:21,038 --> 00:10:23,507
But they said I could have
20 minutes of iPad time.
291
00:10:23,574 --> 00:10:25,108
Mitchell? Mitchell?!
292
00:10:25,176 --> 00:10:27,043
Cameron: Hey, what's up?
293
00:10:27,111 --> 00:10:29,212
Uh, I-I really need to
talk to Mitchell.
294
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:30,747
It's my iPad time!
295
00:10:30,815 --> 00:10:33,016
Honey, what did I tell you
about being selfish?
296
00:10:33,084 --> 00:10:35,118
Aunt Claire needs to
speak to other daddy
297
00:10:35,186 --> 00:10:37,153
just as soon
as she gets me my popcorn.
298
00:10:37,221 --> 00:10:40,123
What? You... Cam, I promise you,
I will get you your popcorn,
299
00:10:40,191 --> 00:10:42,192
but right now,
I need to talk to Mitchell!
300
00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:43,760
- Okay, cheese and caramel.
- Fine.
301
00:10:43,827 --> 00:10:44,761
- And Carmel.
- Fine.
302
00:10:44,828 --> 00:10:46,262
Hey, what's up?
303
00:10:46,330 --> 00:10:48,831
So, I'm pretty sure that Haley
is getting married in Vegas.
304
00:10:48,899 --> 00:10:50,066
- What?!
- What?!
305
00:10:50,134 --> 00:10:51,734
Yeah, I need to know
who she's been dating.
306
00:10:51,802 --> 00:10:53,636
Um, t-there was this one guy
who she thought
307
00:10:53,704 --> 00:10:55,705
that she might like,
but, uh, I don't know.
308
00:10:55,772 --> 00:10:57,473
She was weirdly secretive
about him,
309
00:10:57,541 --> 00:10:59,642
but I-I g... I guess
that could still be thing.
310
00:10:59,710 --> 00:11:01,911
Oh, hang on, hang on...
Getting a call from dad.
311
00:11:01,979 --> 00:11:04,280
[ Ping ]
Do the thing.
312
00:11:04,348 --> 00:11:05,982
Do the cute thing.
313
00:11:06,049 --> 00:11:07,516
- Dad?
- Claire?
314
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:09,185
- Dad?
- Mitchell?
315
00:11:09,253 --> 00:11:11,220
- What are you doing in my phone?
- You called me, dad.
316
00:11:11,288 --> 00:11:13,322
No, I didn't.
I'm shooting a video with Joe.
317
00:11:13,390 --> 00:11:15,524
- Am I in your kitchen with you?
- No.
318
00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:17,526
Then you're not shooting a video
with Joe.
319
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:20,262
Hi, Jay! Claire, was just
about to go run an errand!
320
00:11:20,330 --> 00:11:22,131
[ Sputters ]
Are you kidding me?!
321
00:11:22,199 --> 00:11:23,532
Okay, for God sakes.
Hold...
322
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,401
Would you mind watching my
computer for me for a minute?
323
00:11:25,469 --> 00:11:27,436
- Thank you so much.
Woman: - Of course, dear.
324
00:11:27,504 --> 00:11:30,206
Hey, Mitch,
I'm liking the new hat.
325
00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:32,441
It gives you some presence.
What you getting at, dad?
326
00:11:33,009 --> 00:11:34,476
Nothing.
It's a strong look.
327
00:11:34,544 --> 00:11:36,845
Y-you like one of those tough
guys in an old Western movie.
328
00:11:36,913 --> 00:11:38,213
- Really?
- Yeah.
329
00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:40,015
- Oh, I guess it is kind of badass.
- [ Giggles ]
330
00:11:40,083 --> 00:11:41,717
What if I tilt it a little bit?
331
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,018
- You ruined it.
- Oh.
332
00:11:43,086 --> 00:11:44,820
I like your hat.
It suits you.
333
00:11:44,887 --> 00:11:47,055
- Oh, thank you, ma'am.
- Well, you're welcome.
334
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,590
Claire: Okay, thank you.
335
00:11:48,658 --> 00:11:50,992
All right, got your
life-changing popcorn.
336
00:11:51,060 --> 00:11:52,627
- Yes!
- [ Sighs ]
337
00:11:53,095 --> 00:11:55,663
Now, can we get back to figuring
out who Haley married?
338
00:11:55,731 --> 00:11:58,399
- Haley got married?!
- Oh, my gosh, I hope it was not to Jackson.
339
00:11:58,467 --> 00:11:59,467
Jackson!
340
00:11:59,535 --> 00:12:01,970
He was into some weird,
um, food.
341
00:12:02,037 --> 00:12:03,371
Oh, God!
342
00:12:03,939 --> 00:12:05,773
Whoa, Haley got married?!
She is in so much trouble!
343
00:12:05,841 --> 00:12:07,875
Luke, what have you done
to your hair?!
344
00:12:07,943 --> 00:12:09,343
Claire,
when you react like this,
345
00:12:09,411 --> 00:12:11,011
you're just giving him
what he wants.
346
00:12:11,079 --> 00:12:13,180
[ Gasps ] Luke said
that you knew about it!
347
00:12:13,248 --> 00:12:15,082
[ As Gloria ]
I didn't know about it!
348
00:12:15,150 --> 00:12:17,284
I said a parent knew about it.
349
00:12:17,352 --> 00:12:18,285
Phil!
350
00:12:18,353 --> 00:12:20,054
[ Mouse clicking ]
351
00:12:20,122 --> 00:12:21,188
[ Ringing, ping ]
352
00:12:21,256 --> 00:12:22,423
I know we're not there yet,
353
00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:24,391
but I've been researching
annulments.
354
00:12:24,459 --> 00:12:27,495
Oh, we are there because
you let our child get a mohawk!
355
00:12:27,562 --> 00:12:29,196
[ Laughs ]
Sweet!
356
00:12:29,264 --> 00:12:31,065
We... had a bet.
357
00:12:31,132 --> 00:12:33,000
You let him get a mohawk
because he won a bet?!
358
00:12:33,568 --> 00:12:34,935
- No, he lost the bet.
- What?! Phil!
359
00:12:35,002 --> 00:12:36,803
Well, I-I...
Would you rather I had a mohawk?
360
00:12:36,871 --> 00:12:38,805
- I have a career.
- I-I don't have time for this.
361
00:12:38,873 --> 00:12:40,540
- We've got to get back to figuring out
- [ Doorbell ringing ]
362
00:12:40,608 --> 00:12:41,675
Who Haley has married in Vegas.
363
00:12:41,743 --> 00:12:42,943
Hold on.
Someone's at the door.
364
00:12:43,010 --> 00:12:44,611
- [ Sighing ] Okay.
- So, Haley's in Vegas?
365
00:12:44,679 --> 00:12:46,480
- Yes.
- If you want, I can call Andy.
366
00:12:46,547 --> 00:12:48,115
He's there, too.
Maybe he can find her.
367
00:12:48,182 --> 00:12:49,716
Andy's in Vegas?
368
00:12:49,784 --> 00:12:52,319
Yeah, he borrowed some cuff
links from me for some wedding.
369
00:12:52,386 --> 00:12:55,222
Oh, my God, you guys don't think
that Haley married Andy, do you?
370
00:12:55,289 --> 00:12:57,424
- Haley married Andy! Yeah.
Cameron: - What?!
371
00:12:57,492 --> 00:12:59,559
- What bet did he lose?
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
372
00:12:59,627 --> 00:13:02,262
Andy is dating some girl in
Utah, and Haley knows that.
373
00:13:02,330 --> 00:13:04,130
Even if Haley
was attracted to him,
374
00:13:04,198 --> 00:13:06,766
I would hope she would have the
decency and the self-control...
375
00:13:06,834 --> 00:13:08,868
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, she married Andy!
376
00:13:08,936 --> 00:13:10,136
I knew she was still into him.
377
00:13:10,204 --> 00:13:11,972
She said he wasn't her type,
but I'm like,
378
00:13:12,039 --> 00:13:14,641
"He's a man.
He's breathing."
379
00:13:14,709 --> 00:13:17,277
Maybe this is why she doesn't
talk to me about things.
380
00:13:17,745 --> 00:13:20,947
No, it can't be him.
He's a very nice boy.
381
00:13:21,014 --> 00:13:22,248
Claire, trust me,
382
00:13:22,316 --> 00:13:24,951
Andy's not gonna run off
and elope with Haley.
383
00:13:25,018 --> 00:13:26,586
He's a stand-up guy.
384
00:13:26,653 --> 00:13:28,354
Phil: - It's a package for Haley.
- Open it.
385
00:13:28,422 --> 00:13:30,356
Well, that seems like
an invasion of her priv...
386
00:13:30,424 --> 00:13:32,258
All: Open it!
387
00:13:35,696 --> 00:13:37,797
"What To Expect
When You're Expecting."
388
00:13:37,865 --> 00:13:39,165
[ All gasp ]
Oh, my God!
389
00:13:39,233 --> 00:13:41,501
I told you
he was a stand-up guy.
390
00:13:46,546 --> 00:13:48,114
[ Ringing ]
391
00:13:48,181 --> 00:13:50,182
She's not answering, Phil.
Are you calling Andy?
392
00:13:50,250 --> 00:13:51,784
It's going straight
to voice mail.
393
00:13:51,852 --> 00:13:52,852
[ Call ends ]
394
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:54,520
I can't believe she's pregnant.
395
00:13:54,588 --> 00:13:56,322
Let's not jump
to any conclusions.
396
00:13:56,389 --> 00:13:57,990
Jump? Let's review.
397
00:13:58,058 --> 00:14:00,593
She's been moody, eating weird
food, getting nauseous.
398
00:14:00,660 --> 00:14:02,394
She left
in the middle of the night
399
00:14:02,462 --> 00:14:04,864
for a wedding chapel in Vegas
with her secret love,
400
00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:07,800
and most suspicious of all,
she bought a book!
401
00:14:07,868 --> 00:14:09,835
Oh, no.
What if you're right?
402
00:14:10,603 --> 00:14:12,570
- What will we do?
- I don't know.
403
00:14:12,638 --> 00:14:13,905
I'll kill that Andy.
404
00:14:13,973 --> 00:14:16,041
How could he be
so irresponsible?
405
00:14:16,108 --> 00:14:17,509
I mean, he's a good kid. _
406
00:14:17,576 --> 00:14:19,411
But to run off
with my baby girl
407
00:14:19,478 --> 00:14:21,579
after I fell for his
"Aw, shucks" act!
408
00:14:21,647 --> 00:14:23,948
Which is probably not an act
because he's genuinely nice
409
00:14:24,016 --> 00:14:25,684
and he thinks "shucks"
is the "S" word.
410
00:14:25,751 --> 00:14:26,951
Still, I want to kill him!
411
00:14:27,019 --> 00:14:28,553
But that would be
robbing my grandchild
412
00:14:28,621 --> 00:14:29,988
of probably
a really great father!
413
00:14:30,055 --> 00:14:31,389
Damn you, Andy Bailey!
414
00:14:31,457 --> 00:14:33,158
His last name is Bailey?
415
00:14:33,225 --> 00:14:36,161
Oh, my God,
she's gonna be Haley Bailey.
416
00:14:38,030 --> 00:14:40,031
Alex: - Wait. I just thought of something.
- What?
417
00:14:40,099 --> 00:14:42,100
I'm going to be the first woman
in my family
418
00:14:42,168 --> 00:14:44,169
not to get pregnant
and drop out of college.
419
00:14:45,036 --> 00:14:46,737
Ooh, maybe that
should be my essay.
420
00:14:46,805 --> 00:14:47,971
I graduated from college.
421
00:14:48,039 --> 00:14:50,007
Yeah, and Haley got kicked out
of college
422
00:14:50,075 --> 00:14:51,241
before she got pregnant.
423
00:14:51,309 --> 00:14:54,511
Okay, hang on, honey.
I am sending you a picture.
424
00:14:54,579 --> 00:14:58,515
Do you think that this arsonist
looks like Andy with a beard?
425
00:14:58,583 --> 00:15:00,851
No.
He's not an arsonist.
426
00:15:00,919 --> 00:15:03,086
Gloria hired him
to take care of her baby.
427
00:15:03,154 --> 00:15:04,421
Gloria.
Right, of course.
428
00:15:04,489 --> 00:15:06,223
You know how protective she is.
429
00:15:06,291 --> 00:15:08,325
I'm sure she had him
thoroughly vetted.
430
00:15:08,393 --> 00:15:09,826
[ Ping ]
Hola!
431
00:15:09,894 --> 00:15:11,662
Gloria,
where did you find Andy?
432
00:15:12,229 --> 00:15:14,130
At the park,
chasing some children.
433
00:15:14,198 --> 00:15:16,166
- Oh, my God.
- I'm gonna call him again.
434
00:15:16,233 --> 00:15:17,534
Hey, mom, check it out.
435
00:15:17,601 --> 00:15:19,469
God, Luke, what have you done?!
436
00:15:19,537 --> 00:15:21,905
I know. What does he have
to rebel against?
437
00:15:21,972 --> 00:15:23,940
Haley pregnant
and me in a mohawk...
438
00:15:24,008 --> 00:15:26,276
This year's Christmas card
is gonna rule.
439
00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:28,244
What's going on?
Did you find her?
440
00:15:28,312 --> 00:15:30,880
No, dad, no, I haven't
found her. And you know what?
441
00:15:30,948 --> 00:15:32,315
This is all your fault
442
00:15:32,983 --> 00:15:35,885
because you two introduced this
horny stranger into our lives.
443
00:15:35,952 --> 00:15:37,186
Let me get this straight.
444
00:15:37,254 --> 00:15:39,421
You're mad because your daughter
got knocked up
445
00:15:39,489 --> 00:15:42,324
and ran off with some goofy guy
to get married behind your back.
446
00:15:42,392 --> 00:15:44,393
I can't even imagine
what that must feel like.
447
00:15:44,461 --> 00:15:45,628
Really? Now?
448
00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:47,229
I can't think of a better time.
449
00:15:47,897 --> 00:15:50,065
Jay, stop kicking her
while she's down,
450
00:15:50,132 --> 00:15:53,234
pointing out her mistakes at
the same time the whole universe
451
00:15:53,302 --> 00:15:55,670
is telling her
that she's a terrible mother!
452
00:15:55,738 --> 00:15:58,640
Oh, my God, okay, can't do this.
Got to go. Bye.
453
00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:00,408
[ Call ends ]
454
00:16:00,476 --> 00:16:02,677
[ Mouse clicking ]
455
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:08,717
[ "House At Pooh Corner"
playing ]
456
00:16:11,287 --> 00:16:15,123
♪ Christopher Robin and I
walked along ♪
457
00:16:15,191 --> 00:16:20,662
♪ Under branches
lit up by the moon ♪
458
00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:24,199
♪ Posing our questions
to owl and eeyore ♪
459
00:16:24,266 --> 00:16:27,502
♪ As our days disappeared
all too s... ♪
460
00:16:28,170 --> 00:16:30,070
[ Ringing ]
461
00:16:30,138 --> 00:16:32,072
[ Ping ]
462
00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:34,274
I miss my little girl!
463
00:16:34,342 --> 00:16:35,976
Claire, don't do that.
464
00:16:36,044 --> 00:16:37,044
[ Moans ]
465
00:16:37,111 --> 00:16:39,212
Yes, Claire, don't do that!
466
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:40,981
[ Sputters ]
Look...
467
00:16:41,048 --> 00:16:42,816
You're not gonna find her
at the bottom of that tin.
468
00:16:42,884 --> 00:16:44,551
You're not near the bottom
of that tin, are you?
469
00:16:44,619 --> 00:16:46,353
I'm gonna be a grandmother!
470
00:16:46,421 --> 00:16:47,988
Aww, there, there, dear.
471
00:16:48,055 --> 00:16:49,122
Okay, Claire...
472
00:16:49,190 --> 00:16:51,558
We don't know anything
for sure yet.
473
00:16:52,126 --> 00:16:54,494
- So take a deep breath...
- [ Inhales deeply ]
474
00:16:54,561 --> 00:16:56,796
...put the popcorn down...
475
00:16:56,864 --> 00:16:58,531
and just get your...
476
00:17:00,834 --> 00:17:02,301
Not cool, grandma!
477
00:17:02,369 --> 00:17:04,871
Okay, Claire, listen, listen.
478
00:17:04,938 --> 00:17:07,273
Sometimes life hands you things
that you don't want
479
00:17:07,341 --> 00:17:09,809
and... and they turn out to be
exactly what you need.
480
00:17:09,877 --> 00:17:12,612
And, oh, my God, I think I just
talked myself into liking this hat
481
00:17:12,679 --> 00:17:14,514
because I keep seeing myself
in it,
482
00:17:14,581 --> 00:17:16,949
and I'm like,
"Who is that handsome gentleman?"
483
00:17:17,717 --> 00:17:19,017
Are you serious right now?
484
00:17:19,085 --> 00:17:20,686
Well...
[ Mouse clicks ] _
485
00:17:20,753 --> 00:17:21,987
Oh, God, I got to go.
486
00:17:22,055 --> 00:17:24,323
[ Call ends, ping ]
487
00:17:24,990 --> 00:17:26,858
[ Ringing ]
488
00:17:28,594 --> 00:17:30,395
[ Mouse clicking ]
489
00:17:30,462 --> 00:17:33,398
I'm sorry. I wasn't
that helpful. Are you okay?
490
00:17:33,465 --> 00:17:35,934
Our little baby got married
without us.
491
00:17:36,001 --> 00:17:37,669
I was supposed to
give her away.
492
00:17:37,736 --> 00:17:39,837
I was supposed to walk her
down the aisle
493
00:17:39,905 --> 00:17:41,906
and give her husband-to-be
one of these.
494
00:17:41,974 --> 00:17:44,175
- [ Chuckles ]
- "That's my baby girl.
495
00:17:44,243 --> 00:17:46,077
You take care of her."
496
00:17:46,145 --> 00:17:47,512
- Yeah.
- 'Cause that's what dads do.
497
00:17:47,579 --> 00:17:48,913
I got to call my dad.
498
00:17:48,981 --> 00:17:50,982
Please don't tell him
I was in charge when she left.
499
00:17:51,049 --> 00:17:52,817
[ Mouse clicks, ringing ]
500
00:17:52,885 --> 00:17:54,285
[ Ping ]
501
00:17:54,353 --> 00:17:55,920
Jay: Hello.
Can you see me?
502
00:17:55,988 --> 00:17:57,889
- Thumb, dad.
- [ Sighs ]
503
00:17:57,956 --> 00:17:59,891
The minute they got rid
of rotary phones,
504
00:17:59,958 --> 00:18:01,058
everything went to hell.
505
00:18:01,126 --> 00:18:03,127
Dad, I'm really sorry
that I eloped.
506
00:18:03,695 --> 00:18:05,429
[ Sighs ]
You were a great dad,
507
00:18:05,497 --> 00:18:08,332
and you should've been there
to walk me down the aisle,
508
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:11,568
and... and I've never apologized
for taking that away from you.
509
00:18:11,636 --> 00:18:14,738
Well, we got to do that thing
in Hawaii, and that was nice.
510
00:18:14,806 --> 00:18:17,341
Yeah. Guess what goes around
comes around, huh?
511
00:18:17,409 --> 00:18:20,144
Look... you're in the eye
of the tornado right now,
512
00:18:20,211 --> 00:18:23,413
and you can't see anything but
your life swirling around you.
513
00:18:23,481 --> 00:18:27,117
But Andy's a good guy,
just like Phil,
514
00:18:27,185 --> 00:18:30,420
and years from now,
you might look back on this
515
00:18:30,488 --> 00:18:33,490
and think, "The best thing
that could've happened...
516
00:18:33,558 --> 00:18:35,859
was that dipstick
knocking up my daughter."
517
00:18:36,627 --> 00:18:37,660
[ Chuckles ]
518
00:18:37,728 --> 00:18:39,262
Phil: Aww!
That's so sweet.
519
00:18:39,330 --> 00:18:41,264
- [ Sighs ] Was he listening?!
- Yeah.
520
00:18:41,332 --> 00:18:43,066
This dipstick loves you,
too, Jay!
521
00:18:43,133 --> 00:18:44,801
I take it all back!
522
00:18:44,868 --> 00:18:46,302
Gloria: - Jay! Tell Claire that...
- Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
523
00:18:46,370 --> 00:18:47,503
...I am trying to fix it!
524
00:18:47,571 --> 00:18:50,073
Gloria's talking to me.
Some of it's in English.
525
00:18:50,140 --> 00:18:53,810
Claire, Claire!
Look, look, I fix Luke's hair!
526
00:18:53,877 --> 00:18:55,878
Oh, my God,
he looks like Shemp!
527
00:18:55,946 --> 00:18:57,780
Okay, yes, it's true,
but...
528
00:18:57,848 --> 00:19:00,149
But maybe if I cut a little bit
more on the sides or in...
529
00:19:00,217 --> 00:19:01,584
Oh, no, no, no.
No more cutting.
530
00:19:01,652 --> 00:19:03,352
Just give me a chance
to get used to it.
531
00:19:03,420 --> 00:19:04,554
[ Ringing ]
532
00:19:04,621 --> 00:19:06,222
Oh, it's Haley!
Haley's calling!
533
00:19:06,290 --> 00:19:07,623
What?!
534
00:19:07,691 --> 00:19:08,858
Hi, mom.
535
00:19:08,926 --> 00:19:10,226
"Hi, mom"?!
536
00:19:10,294 --> 00:19:12,228
We have been trying to get
in touch with you all day!
537
00:19:12,896 --> 00:19:14,797
- I've been in bed.
- Oh, goodness.
538
00:19:14,864 --> 00:19:16,298
I don't think we need to
hear the details.
539
00:19:16,366 --> 00:19:18,734
Haley... we know everything.
540
00:19:18,802 --> 00:19:20,736
And I understand
why you hid it from us,
541
00:19:20,804 --> 00:19:23,205
and while we are not happy,
young lady,
542
00:19:23,273 --> 00:19:25,073
we're gonna work this out.
543
00:19:25,141 --> 00:19:27,709
Uh, before I admit to anything,
544
00:19:27,777 --> 00:19:30,479
maybe you could be
more specific?
545
00:19:32,248 --> 00:19:34,016
Haley! You're home!
546
00:19:34,083 --> 00:19:35,984
Yeah, I've been home all day.
I've been sleeping.
547
00:19:36,052 --> 00:19:37,853
Claire: So,
you didn't get married?!
548
00:19:38,421 --> 00:19:40,255
Married?!
Why would I get married?!
549
00:19:40,322 --> 00:19:42,157
Because you're pregnant
with Andy's baby!
550
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:44,225
What?!
Why would you think that?!
551
00:19:44,293 --> 00:19:45,493
Oh.
552
00:19:45,561 --> 00:19:47,495
Because you changed your
Facebook status to "Married"
553
00:19:47,563 --> 00:19:48,897
and then
we tracked your cellphone
554
00:19:48,964 --> 00:19:50,665
to a wedding chapel in Vegas.
555
00:19:50,733 --> 00:19:52,100
And you ordered this book!
556
00:19:52,168 --> 00:19:54,302
Wow, first of all,
it's called privacy.
557
00:19:54,370 --> 00:19:56,471
Google it.
Second, I married a Cronut.
558
00:19:56,539 --> 00:19:57,872
What?
559
00:19:57,940 --> 00:19:59,807
Last night,
my friend Andy and I,
560
00:19:59,875 --> 00:20:01,476
we went to go get Cronuts,
561
00:20:01,544 --> 00:20:03,444
and I said
that they were so amazing,
562
00:20:03,512 --> 00:20:06,381
I wanted to marry one, so I
posted it on Facebook as a joke.
563
00:20:06,948 --> 00:20:09,316
Then I accidentally
left my phone in Andy's car,
564
00:20:09,384 --> 00:20:11,619
which he drove
to a friend's wedding in Vegas,
565
00:20:12,086 --> 00:20:13,887
and that book
is for my crazy boss
566
00:20:13,955 --> 00:20:15,956
because he's designing
maternity clothes
567
00:20:16,024 --> 00:20:18,358
and he wants to get inside
the mind of preggos!
568
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:19,359
Thank God!
569
00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:21,962
I'm so relieved!
[ Laughs ]
570
00:20:22,030 --> 00:20:25,699
Wait a second. How did you
get onto my Facebook page?
571
00:20:25,767 --> 00:20:27,034
I unfriended you.
572
00:20:27,101 --> 00:20:28,969
- She's Brody Kendall.
- [ Gasps ]
573
00:20:29,037 --> 00:20:30,270
Oh, my God, gross!
574
00:20:30,338 --> 00:20:32,372
I've been playing Candy Crush
with my mother!
575
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,207
[ Gasps ]
How did you track my phone?
576
00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:36,209
Well, I don't think
that really matters,
577
00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:37,911
and there's
a perfectly reasona...
578
00:20:37,979 --> 00:20:40,981
[ Imitates connection being lost ]
579
00:20:41,049 --> 00:20:45,352
Oh, cut it out. I can see people
walking behind you.
580
00:20:45,420 --> 00:20:48,055
Okay, got to go.
581
00:20:48,122 --> 00:20:49,790
[ Call ends ]
582
00:20:49,857 --> 00:20:50,857
[ Mouse clicks ]
583
00:20:55,122 --> 00:20:58,931
_
584
00:21:07,731 --> 00:21:10,428
_
585
00:21:12,457 --> 00:21:13,876
_
586
00:21:14,466 --> 00:21:18,006
_
587
00:21:21,133 --> 00:21:22,078
_
588
00:21:24,430 --> 00:21:28,815
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com