1 00:00:06,165 --> 00:00:07,411 What's with all the yogurt? 2 00:00:07,412 --> 00:00:10,183 Shh! Durkas has been breaking into my locker. 3 00:00:10,184 --> 00:00:12,334 But I've got a little revenge planned. 4 00:00:12,335 --> 00:00:14,603 Sorry. I just remembered I don't really care. 5 00:00:17,924 --> 00:00:20,557 Where's mom? Oh, my God, what is that outfit? 6 00:00:20,558 --> 00:00:21,613 Are you going goth? 7 00:00:21,614 --> 00:00:23,216 You still sleep with a stuffed panda. 8 00:00:23,217 --> 00:00:25,086 Don't you have a fraternity to pass out in? 9 00:00:25,087 --> 00:00:27,576 Is there anything else you need for your procedure? 10 00:00:27,577 --> 00:00:29,693 Um, I think I'm supposed to have ice cream. 11 00:00:29,694 --> 00:00:31,309 Hmm. Actually, I don't-- 12 00:00:31,310 --> 00:00:33,038 I'm sorry. Is it a vasecto-you, 13 00:00:33,039 --> 00:00:34,452 or a vasectomy? 14 00:00:34,453 --> 00:00:35,999 - You can have ice cream. - Thanks. 15 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:38,782 - Today... - Snip-a-dee-doo-dah! 16 00:00:38,783 --> 00:00:40,894 We-we've been talking about doing this for a while. 17 00:00:40,895 --> 00:00:42,704 Yeah. Yeah, ever since dad and Gloria 18 00:00:42,705 --> 00:00:45,078 had their little accident, we don't need any surprises. 19 00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:46,867 Also, though, it will allow for a little more 20 00:00:46,868 --> 00:00:48,224 freestylin' in the boudoir 21 00:00:48,225 --> 00:00:50,537 if we're not having to worry about adding more critters. 22 00:00:50,538 --> 00:00:52,582 More importantly, it is an essential part 23 00:00:52,583 --> 00:00:53,745 of our 5-year plan. 24 00:00:53,746 --> 00:00:56,409 Oh, the 5-year plan. Talk about the-- the Rosses. 25 00:00:56,410 --> 00:00:58,621 The Rosses-- Okay, the Rosses are this couple 26 00:00:58,622 --> 00:01:00,532 we have known forever, and... 27 00:01:00,533 --> 00:01:02,191 they were never able to have kids, 28 00:01:02,192 --> 00:01:04,260 - so we always felt a little... - Jealous of them. 29 00:01:04,261 --> 00:01:05,602 - Yeah. - I mean, we love our kids, 30 00:01:05,603 --> 00:01:07,671 but John and Chrissy can travel... 31 00:01:07,672 --> 00:01:08,885 They're always tan. 32 00:01:08,886 --> 00:01:11,664 Did you know that Chrissy is eight years older than me? 33 00:01:11,665 --> 00:01:13,350 I would have said eight years younger. 34 00:01:13,351 --> 00:01:15,236 There's just this spark in her that-- 35 00:01:15,237 --> 00:01:17,095 Well, look who I'm talking to. You used to have it. 36 00:01:17,096 --> 00:01:19,217 - Wow. It's like you don't... hear... - The point is, 37 00:01:19,218 --> 00:01:21,131 as long as we don't have another baby, 38 00:01:21,132 --> 00:01:23,236 that life is ours in five years 39 00:01:23,237 --> 00:01:24,760 when Luke goes off to college. 40 00:01:24,761 --> 00:01:26,214 Or somewhere. 41 00:01:26,275 --> 00:01:27,200 It will actually be a pleasure 42 00:01:27,201 --> 00:01:29,815 walking into that doctor's office today-- 43 00:01:30,661 --> 00:01:31,658 There you are. Mom-- 44 00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:33,649 Hang on a second. What is this? 45 00:01:33,650 --> 00:01:35,931 Uh-- is this because of your new friend Skylar? 46 00:01:35,932 --> 00:01:37,819 Oh, she's just trying to change her image. 47 00:01:37,820 --> 00:01:38,781 Nice work, by the way. 48 00:01:38,782 --> 00:01:40,663 You went from dork to Count Dorkula. 49 00:01:40,664 --> 00:01:43,201 Can we talk about my clothes? You were supposed to send them! 50 00:01:43,202 --> 00:01:44,508 I'll be with you in a second. Hang on. 51 00:01:44,509 --> 00:01:46,241 I don't like this Skylar. 52 00:01:46,242 --> 00:01:47,835 You don't need to change who you are 53 00:01:47,836 --> 00:01:49,824 to fit in with the cool kids. 54 00:01:49,825 --> 00:01:52,478 Oh, of course she does. She just is so uncool, 55 00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:54,146 she doesn't know who the cool kids are. 56 00:01:54,147 --> 00:01:55,692 Don't you have a class to fail? 57 00:01:55,693 --> 00:01:57,299 Don't you have a raven to train? 58 00:01:57,300 --> 00:02:00,477 Listen, I have repeated outfits twice this week. 59 00:02:00,478 --> 00:02:02,764 - It's a disaster. - And I will deal with it tomorrow, 60 00:02:02,765 --> 00:02:04,755 but today I'm taking your father to the doctor. 61 00:02:04,756 --> 00:02:07,398 - He's having an ass-ectomy. - What? 62 00:02:07,399 --> 00:02:09,887 - I hear things. - You're getting your tonsils out? 63 00:02:09,888 --> 00:02:12,105 Ohh! This family needs a dumbass-ectomy. 64 00:02:12,106 --> 00:02:14,242 Oh, shut up! I'm tired of you thinking you're so... 65 00:02:14,243 --> 00:02:15,229 Did dad ever tell you you were adopted? 66 00:02:15,230 --> 00:02:17,268 - No, I wasn't! - Five more years. 67 00:02:17,269 --> 00:02:18,315 Okay. 68 00:02:27,526 --> 00:02:30,526 Synced by YYeTs, corrected by gloriabg www.addic7ed.com 69 00:02:32,242 --> 00:02:33,487 Okay, so after school, 70 00:02:33,488 --> 00:02:35,301 you're going to your friend Ashley's to swim, 71 00:02:35,302 --> 00:02:37,385 so I'm gonna need you to go get your swimsuit, 72 00:02:37,386 --> 00:02:40,296 your swim goggles, and your sunscreen, okay? 73 00:02:40,393 --> 00:02:42,420 And change into a dress that's not covered in cat fur. 74 00:02:42,421 --> 00:02:44,884 Oh, that cat is really losing its hair. 75 00:02:44,885 --> 00:02:47,698 Maybe we should slip it one of your Propecia, huh? 76 00:02:47,841 --> 00:02:48,906 What Propecia? 77 00:02:48,907 --> 00:02:50,458 Your Pro-- 78 00:02:51,264 --> 00:02:53,079 Is that not something that we're... 79 00:02:53,778 --> 00:02:55,690 So, uh, what you got going on today? 80 00:02:55,691 --> 00:02:57,606 Ohh. Busy, busy, busy, busy. 81 00:02:57,607 --> 00:02:59,738 I might buy some light bulbs, and then, if time permits, 82 00:02:59,739 --> 00:03:02,205 I might do a little work on my master project. 83 00:03:02,206 --> 00:03:03,341 - Top secret. - Okay. 84 00:03:03,342 --> 00:03:06,451 - So don't you dare ask what it is. - I won't. 85 00:03:06,452 --> 00:03:08,121 Since Lily started kindergarten, 86 00:03:08,122 --> 00:03:09,995 Cam's had a lot of free time. 87 00:03:09,996 --> 00:03:13,543 Now, I-I'd like to suggest he go back to work, but... 88 00:03:13,775 --> 00:03:17,906 Historically, uh, that has proved to be a sensitive topic. 89 00:03:18,092 --> 00:03:21,372 We sent those adoption papers to Vietnam last summer. 90 00:03:21,373 --> 00:03:23,072 No, thank you very much, 91 00:03:23,073 --> 00:03:25,445 and please remember my tone, not my words. 92 00:03:25,446 --> 00:03:27,326 She said it could take up to nine months to get a baby. 93 00:03:27,327 --> 00:03:28,496 It's inhuman! 94 00:03:28,497 --> 00:03:31,186 Is it? Don't-- I-I know it's frustrating, 95 00:03:31,187 --> 00:03:33,307 but maybe instead of driving yourself crazy 96 00:03:33,308 --> 00:03:36,060 waiting for the phone to ring, you could go back to work. 97 00:03:36,061 --> 00:03:36,947 Excuse me? 98 00:03:36,948 --> 00:03:38,633 Get a job! 99 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,930 No, it--it'll help you take your mind off the baby. 100 00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:43,549 Oh, what, because I'm a big, giant freeloader? 101 00:03:43,550 --> 00:03:45,680 Actually, I think I laid out the reasons pretty clearly. 102 00:03:45,681 --> 00:03:47,346 No, I think you pegged me. Bone lazy, 103 00:03:47,347 --> 00:03:48,739 just like on the farm-- first to bed, 104 00:03:48,740 --> 00:03:49,887 last to wake up in the morning. 105 00:03:49,888 --> 00:03:51,056 You know what? Why don't you call my dad, 106 00:03:51,057 --> 00:03:52,045 and you two can gab all night 107 00:03:52,046 --> 00:03:54,614 about what a teet-sucking layabout I am? 108 00:03:54,615 --> 00:03:55,854 Okay, I think I might have paddled 109 00:03:55,855 --> 00:03:57,123 into some deeper waters here. 110 00:03:57,124 --> 00:03:58,953 What, you think I sit around all day? 111 00:03:58,954 --> 00:04:00,738 Well, I'm not sitting now. 112 00:04:00,889 --> 00:04:02,459 What's happening? 113 00:04:02,969 --> 00:04:05,287 You keep a packed suitcase? 114 00:04:05,685 --> 00:04:07,009 That's a healthy baby. 115 00:04:07,010 --> 00:04:08,543 - Hold on. - What? 116 00:04:08,544 --> 00:04:10,877 Is that a license plate and a hubcap? 117 00:04:10,878 --> 00:04:12,576 You know, like in "Jaws"? 118 00:04:12,577 --> 00:04:13,771 I never saw it. 119 00:04:13,772 --> 00:04:14,875 I saw it, but I don't remember 120 00:04:14,876 --> 00:04:16,473 a scene with a hubcap in a pregnant woman. 121 00:04:16,474 --> 00:04:17,887 Ah, forget it. 122 00:04:17,888 --> 00:04:18,708 So, would you like to know 123 00:04:18,709 --> 00:04:19,956 if you're having a boy or a girl? 124 00:04:19,957 --> 00:04:21,288 - Yes. - No. 125 00:04:21,289 --> 00:04:24,116 Ay. I want it to be a surprise, 126 00:04:24,117 --> 00:04:25,355 don't you, Jay? 127 00:04:25,356 --> 00:04:27,174 I'm having a baby at 65. 128 00:04:27,175 --> 00:04:28,881 You want another surprise, Gloria? 129 00:04:28,882 --> 00:04:31,436 Buy yourself a box of cracker Jacks. 130 00:04:32,259 --> 00:04:33,995 Estupid dry cleaners! 131 00:04:33,996 --> 00:04:36,062 They shrink my clothes! 132 00:04:36,063 --> 00:04:37,837 Might be time for maternity wear. 133 00:04:37,838 --> 00:04:40,190 Are you crazy? I'm barely showing. 134 00:04:40,191 --> 00:04:42,678 Sweetheart, your shirts barely fit before you were pregnant. 135 00:04:42,679 --> 00:04:44,992 And I never heard you complain. 136 00:04:46,415 --> 00:04:48,816 We're gonna need a bigger belt. 137 00:04:49,579 --> 00:04:50,981 Come on. 138 00:04:51,645 --> 00:04:53,444 This is hard. 139 00:04:55,659 --> 00:04:56,716 Hey, Cam. 140 00:04:56,717 --> 00:04:57,862 Who's hungry? 141 00:04:57,863 --> 00:05:01,994 Ohh! Were you thinking about dropping by for lunch... 142 00:05:02,104 --> 00:05:03,753 Again? 143 00:05:03,767 --> 00:05:05,349 You know, I-I really wish I could, 144 00:05:05,350 --> 00:05:08,548 but it's, uh, it's a zoo around here. 145 00:05:08,549 --> 00:05:11,470 Um... but, hey, Cam-- 146 00:05:11,471 --> 00:05:14,330 Cam, would you mind, uh, stopping by Longinus' boutique 147 00:05:14,331 --> 00:05:15,902 and picking up a few shirts for me? 148 00:05:15,903 --> 00:05:17,622 - Sure. - Thank you. 149 00:05:17,623 --> 00:05:18,895 Or we can do it together. 150 00:05:18,896 --> 00:05:20,052 - Hey! - Hey! 151 00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:21,183 - Hi. - Hi. 152 00:05:21,184 --> 00:05:22,444 - How are you? - Good. 153 00:05:22,445 --> 00:05:23,697 Okay. 154 00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:26,763 Um... that's-- that's good. Okay. Yeah. 155 00:05:26,764 --> 00:05:28,822 You didn't send the little green jacket?! 156 00:05:28,823 --> 00:05:30,238 Honey, I am not doing this again. 157 00:05:30,239 --> 00:05:32,619 It took me an hour to mail that package before. 158 00:05:32,620 --> 00:05:36,009 I have post-post office traumatic stress disorder. 159 00:05:36,010 --> 00:05:37,811 Stop smiling. It's not that clever. 160 00:05:37,812 --> 00:05:40,890 It is clever, and there's no way I'm going back there today. 161 00:05:40,891 --> 00:05:42,739 Oh, my God, I hate you so much! 162 00:05:42,740 --> 00:05:44,809 Oh, sorry, that's your father. Gotta go! 163 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:46,097 Claire, where are you? 164 00:05:46,098 --> 00:05:47,861 Oh, honey, I just had a hellish experience 165 00:05:47,862 --> 00:05:49,224 at the post office. 166 00:05:49,225 --> 00:05:52,710 I have post-post office traumatic stress disorder. 167 00:05:52,711 --> 00:05:54,485 - Nailed it. - Yes! 168 00:05:54,486 --> 00:05:56,065 And Luke forgot his science project, 169 00:05:56,066 --> 00:05:57,624 so now I'm at the school dropping it off. 170 00:05:57,625 --> 00:06:00,476 Um, but what about my appointment? 171 00:06:00,477 --> 00:06:02,443 I'm so sorry, honey. I made other arrangements, 172 00:06:02,444 --> 00:06:04,508 but I promise I will be there when you wake up. 173 00:06:04,509 --> 00:06:05,617 Arrangements? 174 00:06:05,618 --> 00:06:08,271 What--um... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 175 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:09,587 What-- what arrangements? 176 00:06:09,588 --> 00:06:12,822 I, um... I kinda wanted you to take me. 177 00:06:12,869 --> 00:06:14,985 Let's go! Chop, chop! 178 00:06:14,986 --> 00:06:16,385 Seriously? "Chop, chop"? 179 00:06:16,386 --> 00:06:18,001 Oh, right. 180 00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:32,148 Ohh! What? 181 00:06:36,899 --> 00:06:37,833 What is this? 182 00:06:37,834 --> 00:06:39,513 - Mom? - Luke! 183 00:06:39,514 --> 00:06:40,580 What are you doing?! 184 00:06:40,581 --> 00:06:42,750 I was dropping off your science project. 185 00:06:42,751 --> 00:06:44,161 Not to my locker! 186 00:06:44,162 --> 00:06:46,818 When are you ever gonna stop embarrassing me? 187 00:06:48,228 --> 00:06:49,862 Five more years. 188 00:06:50,226 --> 00:06:51,952 Five more years. 189 00:07:00,259 --> 00:07:02,212 Oh, my God! 190 00:07:02,937 --> 00:07:05,548 Oh, my God! 191 00:07:06,147 --> 00:07:07,457 Oh, my God! 192 00:07:07,458 --> 00:07:08,263 If you're gonna go any higher, 193 00:07:08,264 --> 00:07:09,642 maybe I should put this down, huh? 194 00:07:09,643 --> 00:07:11,860 So? What do you think? 195 00:07:11,861 --> 00:07:14,054 Finally, a store that sells shirts 196 00:07:14,055 --> 00:07:16,091 men actually wanna wear. 197 00:07:16,092 --> 00:07:18,090 Thank you. Look, holla if you need me. 198 00:07:18,091 --> 00:07:19,090 We're a little shorthanded today. 199 00:07:19,091 --> 00:07:20,602 What happened to J'Marcus? 200 00:07:20,603 --> 00:07:22,354 Don't ask. She's a j'mess. 201 00:07:22,355 --> 00:07:23,949 I'm telling you, it is so hard to find someone 202 00:07:23,950 --> 00:07:26,059 who knows clothes and is good with people. 203 00:07:26,060 --> 00:07:28,438 Well, I wish I knew somebody. 204 00:07:28,731 --> 00:07:31,384 Oh, my God. Wait a second. Cam? 205 00:07:31,385 --> 00:07:33,387 You wouldn't think about taking the job, would you? 206 00:07:33,388 --> 00:07:34,969 Do you realize how perfect you'd be? 207 00:07:34,970 --> 00:07:37,205 Well, yes. Um, but I-I-- 208 00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:38,668 You'd only work part-time. 209 00:07:38,669 --> 00:07:40,732 You'll get employee discounts on the clothes. 210 00:07:40,733 --> 00:07:42,314 Stop me if I'm wasting my breath. 211 00:07:42,315 --> 00:07:43,851 Well, I don't know. What do you think, Mitchell? 212 00:07:43,852 --> 00:07:46,263 Well, I-I would miss having you around the house, 213 00:07:46,264 --> 00:07:48,977 but, you know, if-- if it's something that you love... 214 00:07:48,978 --> 00:07:49,887 Mulling. 215 00:07:49,888 --> 00:07:51,550 You know what? It was nice of you to offer, 216 00:07:51,551 --> 00:07:53,136 - but he should probably think about it. - I'll do it! 217 00:07:53,137 --> 00:07:55,522 - Really? - Yep. Just until he can find somebody to replace me, 218 00:07:55,523 --> 00:07:57,204 and good luck with that. 219 00:07:57,221 --> 00:07:59,307 Oh, and I don't fold. 220 00:08:01,795 --> 00:08:04,097 Longe, I'm getting a protein shake. 221 00:08:04,098 --> 00:08:05,644 Okay. Mitchell, this is Jeoux. 222 00:08:05,645 --> 00:08:06,950 Hi. Oh, just "Joe"? 223 00:08:06,951 --> 00:08:09,151 Yes, Jeoux. J-e-o-u-x. 224 00:08:09,152 --> 00:08:10,008 There it is. 225 00:08:10,009 --> 00:08:11,402 Oh, is this the Mitchell you're helping out 226 00:08:11,403 --> 00:08:13,320 because he wants his boyfriend to get a job? 227 00:08:13,321 --> 00:08:15,094 I don't know what you're doing. Should I wave? 228 00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:17,171 Did your boyfriend take the job? 229 00:08:17,888 --> 00:08:20,592 Oh, my God! That looks so good on you, Cam! 230 00:08:20,593 --> 00:08:21,733 Don't even. 231 00:08:21,734 --> 00:08:24,517 It is everything I can do to not create a scene right now. 232 00:08:24,518 --> 00:08:26,775 You will pay for this. Mnh. 233 00:08:29,372 --> 00:08:30,917 And this. 234 00:08:32,257 --> 00:08:33,787 And this. 235 00:08:38,633 --> 00:08:40,955 Manny, you don't seem so happy. 236 00:08:40,956 --> 00:08:43,824 You usually love when I pull you out of school to play hockey. 237 00:08:43,825 --> 00:08:45,077 "A," it's "hooky," 238 00:08:45,078 --> 00:08:47,844 and "B," don't ever take me out of school to play hockey. 239 00:08:47,845 --> 00:08:49,737 Did something bad happen at school? 240 00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:51,109 They fired the music teacher. 241 00:08:51,110 --> 00:08:52,421 Mr. Hideo Namagachi? 242 00:08:52,422 --> 00:08:53,640 That you say perfectly. 243 00:08:53,641 --> 00:08:55,913 Manny, don't worry. He'll find another job. 244 00:08:55,914 --> 00:08:57,013 What about me? 245 00:08:57,014 --> 00:08:59,742 I've been buttering up Mr. Namagachi for years. 246 00:08:59,743 --> 00:09:02,091 He was gonna give me the lead in the school musical, 247 00:09:02,092 --> 00:09:02,906 "Oliver!" 248 00:09:02,907 --> 00:09:04,445 Is it not all over. 249 00:09:04,446 --> 00:09:05,725 "Oliver!" 250 00:09:05,726 --> 00:09:07,182 Manny... 251 00:09:07,873 --> 00:09:09,584 You are a very talented boy. 252 00:09:09,585 --> 00:09:12,173 You're gonna find plenty of music teachers 253 00:09:12,174 --> 00:09:13,393 to put butter on. 254 00:09:13,394 --> 00:09:15,268 But what if I can't? I don't want to spend 255 00:09:15,269 --> 00:09:17,245 my last year of middle school in the chorus. 256 00:09:17,246 --> 00:09:18,709 Maybe I can help. 257 00:09:18,710 --> 00:09:21,341 Maybe when they pick the new music teacher, 258 00:09:21,342 --> 00:09:24,760 I'll go and I'll flirt a little bit with him. 259 00:09:25,078 --> 00:09:27,874 Hey, mom, since we're just talking here, 260 00:09:27,875 --> 00:09:29,162 about your shirt. 261 00:09:29,163 --> 00:09:31,093 Uh-- what about my shirt? 262 00:09:31,094 --> 00:09:32,227 Nothing. 263 00:09:32,228 --> 00:09:34,020 I just noticed you got some, uh, 264 00:09:34,021 --> 00:09:36,893 some pizza... on the ice cream on it. 265 00:09:36,894 --> 00:09:39,299 Ah, a little piece of-- mm. 266 00:09:42,308 --> 00:09:44,590 It's natural to want to know the sex. 267 00:09:44,591 --> 00:09:47,342 And there's practical matters-- how you paint the nursery. 268 00:09:47,343 --> 00:09:49,881 - Gloria should-- Phil, would you please knock that off? - What? 269 00:09:49,882 --> 00:09:52,561 - What's the matter? Are you nervous? - I'm not nervous. 270 00:09:52,562 --> 00:09:53,719 May-maybe you're the one who's nervous. 271 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:55,232 You ever think about that? 272 00:09:55,273 --> 00:09:56,273 Okay. "Nervous." 273 00:09:56,274 --> 00:09:58,539 Okay. Okay. 274 00:09:58,671 --> 00:10:00,257 Because if you've had a change of heart... 275 00:10:00,258 --> 00:10:01,072 I haven't had a change of heart. 276 00:10:01,073 --> 00:10:02,851 Maybe you had a change of heart, but I'm totally pumped. 277 00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:03,897 Pump, pump, pumped. 278 00:10:03,898 --> 00:10:06,552 Pump up the jam in my pumped-up... kicks. 279 00:10:06,553 --> 00:10:08,219 Pumpty-dumpty. Pumplestiltskin. 280 00:10:08,220 --> 00:10:10,024 Because they do this kind of thing all the time, 281 00:10:10,025 --> 00:10:10,834 and in about an hour, 282 00:10:10,835 --> 00:10:12,865 you're gonna be wanting to ride a horse. 283 00:10:18,863 --> 00:10:21,698 Mr. Dunphy, can you please come to the desk? 284 00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:24,738 What's the plan, Phil? 285 00:10:24,739 --> 00:10:25,862 Just sit here. I'm just gonna sit-- 286 00:10:25,863 --> 00:10:27,958 I'm gonna sit a bit. Sitting pretty. 287 00:10:29,026 --> 00:10:30,596 Is there a Phil Dunphy here? 288 00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:32,687 I'm his father-in-law. He's gonna need a moment. 289 00:10:32,688 --> 00:10:34,900 Is there anything I could fill out for him? 290 00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:36,495 Not unless you want the vasectomy. 291 00:10:36,496 --> 00:10:37,859 Where were you six months ago? 292 00:10:37,860 --> 00:10:40,468 Barbados. Now I really need to speak with the patient. 293 00:10:40,469 --> 00:10:42,328 Got it. Phil, get over here. 294 00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:44,162 Phil? 295 00:10:45,513 --> 00:10:47,417 He just ran ou-- 296 00:10:47,687 --> 00:10:49,811 You know what could do wonders for your business here? 297 00:10:49,812 --> 00:10:51,503 A recovery room. 298 00:11:08,260 --> 00:11:10,419 Okay, wait, wait. I'm not sure about this. 299 00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:11,777 Don't be a baby. 300 00:11:11,778 --> 00:11:14,015 It's gonna look cool. Just hold still. 301 00:11:14,016 --> 00:11:16,235 Ohh! Mom, what are you doing here? 302 00:11:16,236 --> 00:11:18,465 I am changing my shirt. Why aren't you at school? 303 00:11:18,466 --> 00:11:20,793 - Mrs. Dunphy, we just-- - Oh, no, you don't get to talk, Morticia. 304 00:11:20,794 --> 00:11:23,122 Okay, we cut last period-- big deal-- 305 00:11:23,123 --> 00:11:24,468 because we're shaving the backs of our necks, 306 00:11:24,469 --> 00:11:26,171 which is totally a style. 307 00:11:26,172 --> 00:11:27,821 But of course now you're going to freak out 308 00:11:27,822 --> 00:11:31,503 - like you always do about every little thing. - Let's do it. 309 00:11:31,504 --> 00:11:34,403 - What? - Yeah. Yeah. Let's shave up some heads. 310 00:11:34,404 --> 00:11:35,728 Come on. Who's first? 311 00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:37,318 Uh, okay. Okay, mom, we-- we don't need you to do that. 312 00:11:37,319 --> 00:11:39,217 - Are you afraid? - I'm not afraid! 313 00:11:39,218 --> 00:11:41,595 Then let's do this. It's shaving time. 314 00:11:41,596 --> 00:11:43,183 Shavy gravy. Shaved by the bell. 315 00:11:43,184 --> 00:11:45,042 - Why are you talking like dad? - Hair up, girls! 316 00:11:45,043 --> 00:11:47,215 Let's see some napes. Come on. Let's-- 317 00:11:47,216 --> 00:11:48,234 oh, God. No! 318 00:11:48,235 --> 00:11:50,755 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! What did you do?! 319 00:11:50,756 --> 00:11:53,612 What did you do? I have my sister's wedding on Saturday! 320 00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:54,970 I'm so sorry. 321 00:11:54,971 --> 00:11:56,057 Uh, Skylar, wait! 322 00:11:56,058 --> 00:11:57,724 I could--I could-- I could even that up for you. 323 00:11:57,725 --> 00:11:59,768 Stay away from me, both of you! 324 00:12:00,346 --> 00:12:02,611 Uhh! You ruined my life! 325 00:12:02,612 --> 00:12:04,154 Skylar! 326 00:12:06,473 --> 00:12:07,885 Cam. 327 00:12:08,641 --> 00:12:11,514 Cameron! Ohh! You're gonna have to talk to me at some point! 328 00:12:11,515 --> 00:12:13,261 Oh, well, let me put that on my list of things to do, 329 00:12:13,262 --> 00:12:16,189 - right after "get a job." - Would you stop running away? 330 00:12:16,190 --> 00:12:17,028 Nope. 331 00:12:17,029 --> 00:12:19,432 C-Cam! Come on! 332 00:12:19,950 --> 00:12:21,150 You know, I can barely catch up with you 333 00:12:21,151 --> 00:12:23,012 now that you lost all that weight. 334 00:12:23,013 --> 00:12:24,514 You know what? I am sleeping better, 335 00:12:24,515 --> 00:12:26,698 and I do have more energy-- Oh, you know what? You're good. 336 00:12:26,699 --> 00:12:28,349 You're very good. 337 00:12:34,138 --> 00:12:36,551 Cam, the only reason I tried to get you that job 338 00:12:36,552 --> 00:12:39,177 is because you've been seeming a little... unfulfilled. 339 00:12:39,178 --> 00:12:40,355 Oh, what, and you thought you'd fix me 340 00:12:40,356 --> 00:12:42,841 by turning me into some common shopgirl? 341 00:12:42,842 --> 00:12:44,591 You're not going anywhere. We have a daughter. 342 00:12:44,592 --> 00:12:46,675 It's not for me. It's for you. 343 00:12:46,676 --> 00:12:48,994 Cam, I'm not go-- Okay, well, that's packed. 344 00:12:48,995 --> 00:12:50,005 Yeah, and if you're going someplace cool, 345 00:12:50,006 --> 00:12:52,842 - I have a winter one packed as well. - No, I'm not going anywhere! 346 00:12:52,843 --> 00:12:55,315 And I should be able to talk to you about these things. 347 00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:56,462 Oh, what things? 348 00:12:56,463 --> 00:12:58,928 How empty my life is? 349 00:12:59,164 --> 00:13:00,658 You know, you have no idea what I do 350 00:13:00,659 --> 00:13:03,193 around this house every day. I shop for food, 351 00:13:03,194 --> 00:13:04,865 I pay the bills, I maintain the house, 352 00:13:04,866 --> 00:13:05,773 I grocery shop. 353 00:13:05,774 --> 00:13:06,905 Same as shopping for food. 354 00:13:06,906 --> 00:13:10,266 And still I have enough time to work on my master project. 355 00:13:11,153 --> 00:13:13,396 And you never ask me what my master project is. 356 00:13:13,397 --> 00:13:15,156 Because you told me not to ask! 357 00:13:15,157 --> 00:13:17,234 Fine, since you won't let it go... 358 00:13:20,570 --> 00:13:22,001 Does this... 359 00:13:22,165 --> 00:13:24,535 look like the work of an unfulfilled slacker? 360 00:13:24,536 --> 00:13:25,649 A mermaid costume? 361 00:13:25,650 --> 00:13:27,646 Hand-sewn from my own design. 362 00:13:27,647 --> 00:13:29,740 Have you ever stitched lycra? 363 00:13:29,966 --> 00:13:31,656 It's like sewing water, Mitchell. 364 00:13:31,657 --> 00:13:33,320 It looks a little small for Lily. 365 00:13:33,321 --> 00:13:34,958 It's not for Lily. 366 00:13:35,345 --> 00:13:36,997 It's for the cat. 367 00:13:38,671 --> 00:13:40,824 It's a mermaid costume for the cat. 368 00:13:42,777 --> 00:13:44,769 My master project. 369 00:13:45,412 --> 00:13:47,481 It's a mermaid costume... 370 00:13:48,146 --> 00:13:49,170 for a cat! 371 00:13:49,171 --> 00:13:50,546 Okay. Hey, don't cry, okay? 372 00:13:50,547 --> 00:13:52,678 No, no, it's--it's nice. It's-- 373 00:13:52,679 --> 00:13:54,593 it's a very nice cat costume. 374 00:13:54,594 --> 00:13:56,041 Oh, stop it! 375 00:13:56,042 --> 00:13:57,853 This is eight weeks of my life! 376 00:13:57,854 --> 00:14:00,715 My--my stupid, empty, creepy, 377 00:14:00,716 --> 00:14:03,157 useless cat-dressing life. 378 00:14:03,158 --> 00:14:05,335 Let me get you a tissue, all right? 379 00:14:05,336 --> 00:14:07,001 - Here. - Okay. 380 00:14:07,002 --> 00:14:08,948 Oh! You packed me tissues. 381 00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:11,002 I know how you are with your allergies. 382 00:14:11,003 --> 00:14:13,921 Cam! You know I don't think you're lazy. 383 00:14:13,922 --> 00:14:16,504 I know. That's just stupid dad stuff. 384 00:14:16,505 --> 00:14:18,027 You know, I didn't like working on the farm, 385 00:14:18,028 --> 00:14:19,907 and he just took it as me being lazy. 386 00:14:19,908 --> 00:14:23,059 The truth is, is I am unfulfilled. 387 00:14:23,124 --> 00:14:24,723 And I do need to find something. 388 00:14:24,724 --> 00:14:27,080 Well, you just--you seem happier when you have a challenge. 389 00:14:27,081 --> 00:14:28,993 - You know? - I know, I know. 390 00:14:28,994 --> 00:14:31,108 You know, I loved teaching music to kids, 391 00:14:31,109 --> 00:14:34,385 and then--then Lily, she came along, and... 392 00:14:34,386 --> 00:14:36,480 That's the best job in the whole wide world. 393 00:14:36,481 --> 00:14:39,003 You know? And now she doesn't need me as much. 394 00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:40,176 No, come on, come on. 395 00:14:40,177 --> 00:14:42,333 - We're gonna find you something else, all right? - Yeah. 396 00:14:42,334 --> 00:14:44,732 And it doesn't have to be Longinus. 397 00:14:45,338 --> 00:14:46,466 - Or this. - Yeah. 398 00:14:46,467 --> 00:14:48,596 We'll just-- you know, I do like these shirts. 399 00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:50,386 Yeah. Yeah. 400 00:14:50,387 --> 00:14:51,450 Mulling. 401 00:14:51,451 --> 00:14:53,430 Okay. You know, if I'm gonna mull, 402 00:14:53,431 --> 00:14:54,548 I could really use some chocolate. 403 00:14:54,549 --> 00:14:56,515 Well, since your diet, we don't keep it around the house. 404 00:14:56,516 --> 00:14:58,795 - Side pocket. - Yeah? Oh. 405 00:14:58,796 --> 00:15:01,033 - Remind me to replace these. - Okay. 406 00:15:03,262 --> 00:15:05,668 Oh. Hey, Jay! How you doing? 407 00:15:05,669 --> 00:15:08,213 Phil, you gotta stop running from things because-- 408 00:15:08,214 --> 00:15:09,952 Running? I'm not running. 409 00:15:09,953 --> 00:15:12,120 You're running. Look, I'm not up for another round with this. 410 00:15:12,121 --> 00:15:14,339 Just get in the damn car! I'm not having a great day! 411 00:15:14,340 --> 00:15:16,086 You're not having a great day?! 412 00:15:16,087 --> 00:15:18,426 Are you about to get spayed like a common schnauzer?! 413 00:15:18,427 --> 00:15:20,616 They don't spay you, they fix you. You're a man! 414 00:15:20,617 --> 00:15:22,677 I just want to stay one! 415 00:15:27,115 --> 00:15:29,446 Phil, what's scaring you here? 416 00:15:29,447 --> 00:15:31,336 That people are gonna think less of you as a man? 417 00:15:31,337 --> 00:15:33,179 No, I'm afraid it's gonna hurt. 418 00:15:33,180 --> 00:15:35,637 - That's what this is about? - Wait, people think that? 419 00:15:35,638 --> 00:15:37,532 That you're less of a man? 420 00:15:37,810 --> 00:15:39,842 That never even occurred to me. 421 00:15:41,217 --> 00:15:43,728 Look, no one's gonna think less of you. 422 00:15:43,729 --> 00:15:45,154 And it hardly even hurts. 423 00:15:45,155 --> 00:15:47,242 I'm unusually sensitive down there. 424 00:15:47,243 --> 00:15:48,969 I can't go in certain jacuzzis. 425 00:15:48,970 --> 00:15:50,675 I'm gonna be with you the entire way. 426 00:15:50,676 --> 00:15:52,404 Plus it's the fear of pain 427 00:15:52,405 --> 00:15:55,073 that's always more than the actual experience. 428 00:15:55,074 --> 00:15:57,203 That's easy for you to say. You're not afraid of anything. 429 00:15:57,204 --> 00:15:59,863 - Of course I'm afraid of stuff. - Like what? 430 00:16:01,271 --> 00:16:02,665 Look... 431 00:16:04,023 --> 00:16:06,092 You remember before, when I told you I was 432 00:16:06,093 --> 00:16:09,019 wanting to know the-- the sex of the baby... 433 00:16:09,775 --> 00:16:12,188 For practical matters? Well, that wasn't true. 434 00:16:12,587 --> 00:16:15,360 I'm kind of afraid of having a girl. 435 00:16:15,473 --> 00:16:17,319 Give me a break. That's not a thing. 436 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:19,097 You'd just rather have a boy. 437 00:16:19,098 --> 00:16:20,661 Everyone would rather have a boy. 438 00:16:20,662 --> 00:16:23,265 No. I'm actually scared. I get boys. 439 00:16:23,266 --> 00:16:25,451 It's girls-- they're-- they're complicated. 440 00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:27,626 Half of Claire's childhood, I did everything I could 441 00:16:27,627 --> 00:16:29,297 to try to turn her into a boy. 442 00:16:29,298 --> 00:16:31,787 Well, whatever your issues were, 443 00:16:31,788 --> 00:16:33,031 you and Claire are good now. 444 00:16:33,032 --> 00:16:34,748 Yeah, but I may not get that kind of time 445 00:16:34,749 --> 00:16:37,337 with this new one, and I can't screw it up. 446 00:16:38,204 --> 00:16:41,210 I don't think I'm sensitive enough to raise a girl. 447 00:16:41,211 --> 00:16:43,863 Jay, you're being sensitive right now. 448 00:16:44,157 --> 00:16:46,640 I mean, I was pretty hysterical, and you calmed me down. 449 00:16:46,641 --> 00:16:49,065 I-I don't think you're the guy you used to be. 450 00:16:49,066 --> 00:16:50,718 So you're saying that if I can deal with you, 451 00:16:50,719 --> 00:16:54,294 then I can handle... any other little girl? 452 00:16:54,695 --> 00:16:55,894 I think I'd put it a-a little differently. 453 00:16:55,895 --> 00:16:58,625 No, I-I-I think that's right. 454 00:16:59,699 --> 00:17:01,080 Thanks. 455 00:17:03,410 --> 00:17:04,582 We gonna do this? 456 00:17:04,583 --> 00:17:06,372 Promise it's not gonna hurt that much? 457 00:17:06,373 --> 00:17:07,454 Tiny, little pinch. 458 00:17:07,455 --> 00:17:09,702 - I built it up in my head, didn't I? - Totally. 459 00:17:09,991 --> 00:17:12,730 And I can still achieve a-a full and satisfying... 460 00:17:12,731 --> 00:17:14,559 You know what? We had a nice little moment here. 461 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:16,225 We don't have many of those. 462 00:17:16,226 --> 00:17:18,253 I think I'm gonna commemorate it. 463 00:17:18,989 --> 00:17:20,015 - Okay. - All right? 464 00:17:20,016 --> 00:17:21,571 So sit up straight. 465 00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:23,936 There you go. 466 00:17:23,937 --> 00:17:26,160 No, no, the arms down. Uh, better arms down. 467 00:17:26,161 --> 00:17:27,279 - All right. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 468 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,240 That's right. Relax. 469 00:17:29,281 --> 00:17:30,916 There you go. 470 00:17:32,395 --> 00:17:33,177 Perfect. 471 00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:34,010 Can I get a copy? 472 00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:35,238 Oh, there'll be a lot of copies. 473 00:17:35,239 --> 00:17:36,706 Oh, great. 474 00:17:37,847 --> 00:17:39,797 You were kind of hard on that cinnamon bun guy. 475 00:17:39,798 --> 00:17:41,609 Did you hear what he said to me? 476 00:17:41,610 --> 00:17:43,283 "Congratulations"? 477 00:17:43,405 --> 00:17:45,102 He thinks I'm pregnant! 478 00:17:45,103 --> 00:17:48,477 That is an insult when the person doesn't look it. 479 00:17:48,515 --> 00:17:50,124 Mom, wait. 480 00:17:51,064 --> 00:17:52,819 You need to hear this. 481 00:17:52,885 --> 00:17:55,494 You are pregnant, and you look it. 482 00:17:55,856 --> 00:17:59,691 I hope that this new one has some good manners! 483 00:17:59,692 --> 00:18:01,427 Mom, stop! 484 00:18:02,537 --> 00:18:05,026 I know this whole thing is a little scary for you. 485 00:18:05,027 --> 00:18:07,064 Last time you were pregnant, you kinda did it alone 486 00:18:07,065 --> 00:18:09,005 'cause dad wasn't around much. 487 00:18:09,006 --> 00:18:11,490 But this time you have two partners. 488 00:18:13,719 --> 00:18:15,362 That's sweet. 489 00:18:15,367 --> 00:18:17,106 And so are you. 490 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,087 Especially with a little bit of sugar in your face. 491 00:18:20,088 --> 00:18:21,607 Let me see. 492 00:18:24,056 --> 00:18:25,430 Ohh! What happened?! 493 00:18:25,431 --> 00:18:26,743 Your shirt couldn't take it anymore! 494 00:18:26,744 --> 00:18:29,056 The stupid dry cleaners! 495 00:18:29,057 --> 00:18:30,492 W-- where is it?! 496 00:18:30,493 --> 00:18:31,163 Ay, no! 497 00:18:31,164 --> 00:18:32,709 Oh! You're running out of arms, mom! 498 00:18:32,710 --> 00:18:34,706 A maternity store's right over there! 499 00:18:34,970 --> 00:18:37,628 - What was that? - I don't know, but let's go! 500 00:18:38,657 --> 00:18:41,703 It's you. I thought it was the guy coming to shave me. 501 00:18:41,704 --> 00:18:43,161 Oh, good. They haven't started. 502 00:18:43,162 --> 00:18:44,596 He had a little piece of bloody toilet paper 503 00:18:44,597 --> 00:18:46,780 on his neck. It was disconcerting. 504 00:18:48,111 --> 00:18:49,694 - Are you okay? - Mm-hmm. 505 00:18:49,695 --> 00:18:51,257 Yeah. I had a pretty crazy day, 506 00:18:51,258 --> 00:18:53,536 but it-- it had an interesting ending. 507 00:18:53,537 --> 00:18:56,547 And this tortoise was 200 years old. 508 00:18:56,548 --> 00:18:58,399 I'm sorry. I'm boring you with my trip. 509 00:18:58,400 --> 00:18:59,389 No, not at all. 510 00:18:59,390 --> 00:19:02,005 You hot-air-ballooned over an active volcano. 511 00:19:02,006 --> 00:19:04,634 Three weeks ago I made every green light on Jefferson. 512 00:19:04,635 --> 00:19:05,975 Couldn't stop talking about it. 513 00:19:05,976 --> 00:19:08,600 - You e-mailed me. - Oh, God. 514 00:19:11,415 --> 00:19:14,453 Mom shaved Skylar's head? That's hilarious! 515 00:19:14,454 --> 00:19:15,700 It's not gonna be so fun 516 00:19:15,701 --> 00:19:17,536 the next time she bothers to show up for school. 517 00:19:17,537 --> 00:19:19,557 What do you care? You know you don't even like her. 518 00:19:19,558 --> 00:19:21,195 I don't. Skylar's awful. 519 00:19:21,196 --> 00:19:23,093 Mom actually did me a huge favor. 520 00:19:23,094 --> 00:19:24,730 Oh, my God. Do not tell her that. 521 00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:27,020 She will never shut up. 522 00:19:27,021 --> 00:19:28,286 I know. Remember when you admitted 523 00:19:28,287 --> 00:19:29,932 that you didn't hate that James Taylor concert 524 00:19:29,933 --> 00:19:33,482 - she dragged you to? - She was unbearable! "I told you! 525 00:19:33,483 --> 00:19:36,336 - He's got the voice of an angel!" - "He's got the voice of an angel!" 526 00:19:38,555 --> 00:19:40,695 She's such a nerd. 527 00:19:40,924 --> 00:19:42,924 I kind of miss her, though. 528 00:19:56,575 --> 00:19:57,820 You know, honey, I don't want to do this 529 00:19:57,821 --> 00:19:59,952 unless you are really ready. 530 00:19:59,953 --> 00:20:01,436 I am ready. 531 00:20:01,958 --> 00:20:04,254 - I don't know if I am. - Me, either. 532 00:20:06,317 --> 00:20:07,708 You wanna wait? 533 00:20:08,664 --> 00:20:10,656 Five more years? 534 00:20:13,193 --> 00:20:16,378 I've always seen life like a series of doors. 535 00:20:16,379 --> 00:20:18,807 Sometimes you get to choose the door you go through, 536 00:20:18,808 --> 00:20:20,718 sometimes you don't get that choice. 537 00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:23,025 But you still gotta walk through. 538 00:20:25,532 --> 00:20:28,513 So you can either go kicking and screaming... 539 00:20:29,867 --> 00:20:32,481 Or walk through with your head held high. 540 00:20:38,754 --> 00:20:40,531 And since I don't get to choose 541 00:20:40,532 --> 00:20:42,926 the door I'm about to go through, 542 00:20:42,927 --> 00:20:45,614 I just pray it's a healthy, happy kid. 543 00:20:46,672 --> 00:20:48,173 And a boy. 544 00:20:57,988 --> 00:20:59,451 Honey, look what Manny just sent me. 545 00:20:59,452 --> 00:21:02,091 Hang on one sec. Okay. 546 00:21:02,515 --> 00:21:05,401 - Is that the funniest thing ever? - Oh, yeah! 547 00:21:05,402 --> 00:21:07,200 Oh... oh, my gosh. Mitchell, come here. 548 00:21:07,201 --> 00:21:08,567 You have to see what Claire sent us. 549 00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:10,330 Okay, wait. One--one second. 550 00:21:11,249 --> 00:21:13,071 Okay. Is that hilarious? 551 00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:15,765 That's great! Oh, Phil! 552 00:21:15,766 --> 00:21:17,120 Ay, this is embarrassing. 553 00:21:17,121 --> 00:21:18,506 I don't know how comfortable I am 554 00:21:18,507 --> 00:21:20,547 with this guy teaching our kid. 555 00:21:20,747 --> 00:21:28,947 Synced by YYeTs, corrected by gloriabg www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net