1 00:00:02,208 --> 00:00:04,020 Phil, honey, you're still up. 2 00:00:04,021 --> 00:00:05,802 Okay, how does this sound? 3 00:00:05,803 --> 00:00:07,982 Mitchell, I love you very much, 4 00:00:07,983 --> 00:00:10,546 I not only love you, but admire you, 5 00:00:10,547 --> 00:00:13,221 - and someday I hope to... - Are you firing him or proposing to him? 6 00:00:13,222 --> 00:00:15,470 Honey, this was supposed to be a part-time job. 7 00:00:15,471 --> 00:00:17,448 He was gonna be done in the summer anyway. 8 00:00:17,449 --> 00:00:19,998 - Just be direct. - I should have warned him. 9 00:00:19,999 --> 00:00:20,573 How do you tell someone 10 00:00:20,574 --> 00:00:22,598 they have a reputation for being lazy? 11 00:00:22,853 --> 00:00:23,936 Mitchell? Lazy? 12 00:00:23,937 --> 00:00:26,366 Yeah. Yeah. He handed in a couple of contracts late, 13 00:00:26,367 --> 00:00:27,754 but I didn't want to say anything 14 00:00:27,755 --> 00:00:29,829 because he's practically doing this for free. 15 00:00:29,885 --> 00:00:30,743 I can't do this! 16 00:00:30,744 --> 00:00:32,897 This isn't the face of a cold-blooded hatchet man. 17 00:00:33,851 --> 00:00:34,925 Will you do it? 18 00:00:35,886 --> 00:00:36,935 Hey. 19 00:00:37,357 --> 00:00:40,229 Oh, I'm sorry. Did we wake you up? 20 00:00:40,230 --> 00:00:41,916 No, I was up. 21 00:00:42,062 --> 00:00:43,234 I'm worried about tomorrow. 22 00:00:43,235 --> 00:00:45,335 My art teacher acts like I don't exist, 23 00:00:45,336 --> 00:00:48,554 but I have one last chance to impress him at our year-end art fair. 24 00:00:48,611 --> 00:00:51,515 A few students are doing living versions of famous paintings. 25 00:00:51,516 --> 00:00:54,054 I've chosen this one, and I'm using my own family. 26 00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:55,255 Brilliant, right? 27 00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:57,962 When I told him, he said, "that's nice, Alice." 28 00:00:58,351 --> 00:00:59,551 It's been a year. 29 00:00:59,845 --> 00:01:01,693 Alice? Really? 30 00:01:01,723 --> 00:01:03,077 Honey, do you think you're nervous 31 00:01:03,078 --> 00:01:04,983 because you've got a little crush on Mr. Jarvis? 32 00:01:04,984 --> 00:01:06,822 - No. - Are you sure? Because I've seen the way you look at him-- 33 00:01:06,823 --> 00:01:09,037 Sounds like you're the one with the crush! 34 00:01:09,271 --> 00:01:11,498 I've just never had a teacher not like me before. 35 00:01:11,499 --> 00:01:12,750 - Well, Ms. Davis. - Mm. 36 00:01:12,751 --> 00:01:14,312 Please. She's a gym teacher. 37 00:01:14,313 --> 00:01:16,796 She is to teaching what Dr. Seuss is to medicine. 38 00:01:16,861 --> 00:01:18,655 And to think she didn't like you. 39 00:01:19,689 --> 00:01:21,603 You? What's your problem? 40 00:01:21,604 --> 00:01:23,963 Nothing. I'm just excited for tomorrow. 41 00:01:23,964 --> 00:01:26,395 I'm getting a medal at school because I put out a fire. 42 00:01:27,533 --> 00:01:29,663 Maybe that's what I should be when I grow up... 43 00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:32,393 A professional medal-getter. 44 00:01:35,342 --> 00:01:36,543 Luke, what happened? 45 00:01:36,758 --> 00:01:37,872 I don't know. 46 00:01:37,873 --> 00:01:41,431 I was just walking by and I smelled flames. 47 00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:42,761 I was there. 48 00:01:43,215 --> 00:01:43,974 I don't like this. 49 00:01:43,975 --> 00:01:45,213 We're not supposed to be in here. 50 00:01:45,214 --> 00:01:46,460 Just keep a lookout! 51 00:01:46,461 --> 00:01:48,938 We're ten seconds away from creating luketonium. 52 00:01:50,517 --> 00:01:52,666 - Oh, crap! - Look what you did! 53 00:01:54,354 --> 00:01:55,479 Luke, what happened? 54 00:01:55,807 --> 00:01:56,862 I don't know. 55 00:01:57,015 --> 00:02:00,437 I was just walking by and I smelled flames. 56 00:02:03,167 --> 00:02:04,951 Okay, guys, you're gonna be dragging tomorrow 57 00:02:04,952 --> 00:02:06,470 if you don't go to bed right now. Let's go. Go. 58 00:02:06,471 --> 00:02:08,457 Fine. Come on, Alice. 59 00:02:08,626 --> 00:02:09,918 I'll be up in a minute. 60 00:02:13,581 --> 00:02:14,563 "Mitchell, 61 00:02:15,062 --> 00:02:16,922 "I can't tell you how hard... 62 00:02:17,333 --> 00:02:18,421 How hard this..." 63 00:02:18,422 --> 00:02:21,140 No, that's-- no, it's not personal enough. 64 00:02:26,383 --> 00:02:28,059 Okay, okay. 65 00:02:28,060 --> 00:02:30,996 "I can't tell you how hurt and angry this makes me, 66 00:02:30,997 --> 00:02:33,212 "but you've been late too many times. 67 00:02:33,213 --> 00:02:34,194 I'll need your keys." 68 00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:36,073 Daddy, no! I'm so sorry! 69 00:02:36,074 --> 00:02:38,048 Honey, I didn't hear you come downstairs. 70 00:02:38,049 --> 00:02:39,183 You couldn't sleep, either? 71 00:02:39,184 --> 00:02:40,708 Uh, yeah. 72 00:02:40,709 --> 00:02:46,580 No, there's just, like, a lot on my mind with graduation, 73 00:02:47,048 --> 00:02:49,484 and what to wear. How does this look? 74 00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:51,752 Wait a second. You're carrying your shoes. 75 00:02:52,588 --> 00:02:54,588 How am I supposed to judge the whole outfit? 76 00:02:54,589 --> 00:02:55,537 Put 'em on. 77 00:03:06,017 --> 00:03:09,117 Synced by YYeTs, corrected by gloriabg www.addic7ed.com 78 00:03:09,281 --> 00:03:11,443 So make sure you give this menu here 79 00:03:11,444 --> 00:03:12,998 a good, thorough reading. 80 00:03:13,366 --> 00:03:15,231 - Soup. - You didn't even look at it. 81 00:03:16,125 --> 00:03:18,272 - Soup. - Check out what's below the soup-- 82 00:03:18,273 --> 00:03:19,281 Sandwiches. 83 00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:22,010 Have you check out what is below this outfit? 84 00:03:22,011 --> 00:03:24,088 This doesn't come from sandwiches. 85 00:03:24,089 --> 00:03:25,104 Look! 86 00:03:25,847 --> 00:03:27,668 "The Jay Pritchett"? 87 00:03:27,822 --> 00:03:29,394 I don't understand. 88 00:03:29,528 --> 00:03:31,392 They named you after a sandwich? 89 00:03:31,393 --> 00:03:33,614 No! They named a sandwich after me! 90 00:03:33,632 --> 00:03:35,894 "Turkey, bacon, Swiss cheese, 91 00:03:35,895 --> 00:03:37,651 red peppers, anchovies on wheat"? 92 00:03:37,652 --> 00:03:39,460 Most people would stop after the salty bacon, 93 00:03:39,461 --> 00:03:41,221 but I double down with the anchovies. 94 00:03:41,222 --> 00:03:43,703 Were you making a sandwich or attracting deer? 95 00:03:43,704 --> 00:03:45,385 Is this bum bothering you, miss? 96 00:03:45,386 --> 00:03:46,683 Oh, I should get a picture of this-- 97 00:03:46,684 --> 00:03:49,142 an actual waitress sighting in this dump. 98 00:03:49,350 --> 00:03:52,035 I took a chance and put in an order for your sandwich, 99 00:03:52,036 --> 00:03:55,156 although most people like their Jay Pritchetts to go. 100 00:03:55,374 --> 00:03:56,363 What's happening? 101 00:03:56,364 --> 00:03:57,761 Gloria, it's Maxine. 102 00:03:57,762 --> 00:03:59,450 So you're married to Jay. 103 00:03:59,477 --> 00:04:01,828 Where'd you tie up your seeing eye dog? 104 00:04:01,829 --> 00:04:03,462 No, no, I'm not, um... 105 00:04:04,487 --> 00:04:06,260 Okay, I get it. I get it. 106 00:04:06,261 --> 00:04:08,673 Here's that number for that neck doctor I want you to see. 107 00:04:08,674 --> 00:04:10,253 - Thanks. - What's wrong with your neck? 108 00:04:10,254 --> 00:04:12,909 For 30 years, I've been hearing it's a handball injury. 109 00:04:12,910 --> 00:04:15,446 But it always seems to get worse with stress. 110 00:04:15,470 --> 00:04:17,377 Maybe it's that audit he's got coming up. 111 00:04:17,378 --> 00:04:18,863 - Audit? - It's nothing. 112 00:04:18,983 --> 00:04:21,910 Oh, isn't that cute? He doesn't want you to worry. 113 00:04:22,785 --> 00:04:24,281 Here's your sandwich. 114 00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:25,839 Now you should worry. 115 00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:28,102 Look at it-- my prettiest child. 116 00:04:28,103 --> 00:04:30,103 Why didn't you tell me about your neck? 117 00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:31,611 It's fine. Take a bite. 118 00:04:31,612 --> 00:04:33,481 - Your company's getting audited? - Nothing! 119 00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:34,793 Three bad days, then it's over. 120 00:04:34,794 --> 00:04:36,864 Come on! I'm-- I'm anxious to hear what you think. 121 00:04:38,929 --> 00:04:40,454 I see it growing on ya. 122 00:04:40,516 --> 00:04:42,281 It's like Maxine when she first tried it. 123 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,519 - You know, she-- - I don't like it. 124 00:04:43,662 --> 00:04:46,551 - You probably didn't get all-- - Jay, I try it. I don't like it. 125 00:04:47,178 --> 00:04:48,188 That's all you can say? 126 00:04:48,189 --> 00:04:49,902 It tastes bad in my mouth. 127 00:04:49,903 --> 00:04:51,743 It's like a fish and a Turkey 128 00:04:51,744 --> 00:04:54,089 beat themselves to death with a pepper. 129 00:04:54,232 --> 00:04:56,593 Okay, fair enough. Maybe a little picky, though, 130 00:04:56,594 --> 00:04:58,507 from someone who prepared a Colombian specialty 131 00:04:58,508 --> 00:05:00,651 and said, "why are you not eating the hooves? 132 00:05:00,652 --> 00:05:02,177 They're the best part." 133 00:05:04,086 --> 00:05:05,063 I'm back! 134 00:05:05,098 --> 00:05:06,488 Oh, hey, Uncle Cam. 135 00:05:07,295 --> 00:05:09,449 Oh, thanks again for picking me up last night. 136 00:05:09,450 --> 00:05:11,585 You're welcome, but you have to be more careful. 137 00:05:11,586 --> 00:05:13,172 I was the responsible one. 138 00:05:13,173 --> 00:05:14,828 Lisa was drinking, and I took her keys, 139 00:05:14,829 --> 00:05:16,446 - and then e-- - I understand. 140 00:05:16,447 --> 00:05:18,975 My senior year, I had a pretty crazy night myself 141 00:05:18,976 --> 00:05:21,609 involving a bottle of corn mash and an overturned plow. 142 00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:23,763 - Seriously? - Yeah. You don't know terror until you've had to 143 00:05:23,764 --> 00:05:25,528 stare down the eyes of a Missouri State Trooper 144 00:05:25,529 --> 00:05:27,226 and talk your way out of a P.U.I. 145 00:05:30,157 --> 00:05:31,802 Honey, you don't drink coffee. 146 00:05:31,849 --> 00:05:32,935 I do when I've been up half the night 147 00:05:32,936 --> 00:05:34,788 worrying about a project that's only one-third done, 148 00:05:34,789 --> 00:05:36,714 and I still have an apron to sew, scenery to paint, 149 00:05:36,715 --> 00:05:38,833 plus my normal crushing workload. So... 150 00:05:39,827 --> 00:05:41,863 Unless you have a better way for me to stimula-- 151 00:05:42,865 --> 00:05:43,831 Oh, God. 152 00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:45,130 God, coffee's bitter. 153 00:05:45,131 --> 00:05:46,535 That was your first sip? 154 00:05:46,910 --> 00:05:48,748 Okay, I got the chafing dish, 155 00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:51,222 salt and pepper shakers-- perfect matches, both. 156 00:05:51,866 --> 00:05:53,626 I may have to readjust my grapes. 157 00:05:53,627 --> 00:05:56,809 Oh. Ow. I'll just give you a little privacy. 158 00:05:57,554 --> 00:06:00,318 Welcome back to the light show. Hi. 159 00:06:00,319 --> 00:06:01,603 Hi, Lily. 160 00:06:01,658 --> 00:06:02,619 Hi, daddy. 161 00:06:03,973 --> 00:06:04,923 Lily... 162 00:06:05,130 --> 00:06:06,357 Sweetheart, no. 163 00:06:06,358 --> 00:06:08,860 No, no, no, no. We're-- we're not gonna do that today. 164 00:06:08,861 --> 00:06:09,497 Actually-- actually, Claire, 165 00:06:09,498 --> 00:06:12,139 we're--we're trying not to use the word "no" so much. 166 00:06:12,140 --> 00:06:13,180 We just read a book that said 167 00:06:13,181 --> 00:06:15,429 - children learn to rebel against that word. - Uh-huh. 168 00:06:15,430 --> 00:06:18,511 So we redirect her into a new activity instead. 169 00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:20,169 Oh. Here-- well, just watch this. 170 00:06:20,490 --> 00:06:22,834 Lily, sweetie, hi. It's daddy here. 171 00:06:22,835 --> 00:06:24,979 Would you like to listen to some music? 172 00:06:24,980 --> 00:06:27,118 Okay. There you go. 173 00:06:27,189 --> 00:06:28,248 See? 174 00:06:28,361 --> 00:06:29,685 Every new generation thinks 175 00:06:29,686 --> 00:06:31,690 they have cracked the code on child rearing. 176 00:06:31,691 --> 00:06:34,023 What's the latest theory? Never say "no." 177 00:06:34,257 --> 00:06:36,638 I say "no" every day in this house. 178 00:06:36,639 --> 00:06:38,396 But at night, she's a "yes" machine. 179 00:06:38,397 --> 00:06:39,284 No. 180 00:06:40,865 --> 00:06:44,142 Oh, it doesn't seem that she is redirecting her own energy 181 00:06:44,143 --> 00:06:45,729 as much as using a lot of ours. 182 00:06:45,730 --> 00:06:48,121 But do you see how she's slowly transitioning 183 00:06:48,122 --> 00:06:50,464 from the lights to the music? 184 00:06:50,727 --> 00:06:52,984 Yeah. Yeah, I do. 185 00:06:53,071 --> 00:06:54,741 It's hard to believe there was ever a time 186 00:06:54,742 --> 00:06:57,088 when we just said, "stop doing that." 187 00:06:59,230 --> 00:07:00,097 Oh. The garbage disposal. 188 00:07:00,098 --> 00:07:01,847 Lily, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 189 00:07:01,848 --> 00:07:05,235 Now let's redirect you into a nap, huh? 190 00:07:05,236 --> 00:07:06,795 Actually, we're doing this new thing 191 00:07:06,796 --> 00:07:09,447 where we let her tell us when she wants to take a nap. 192 00:07:09,448 --> 00:07:11,654 Uh-huh. It's called "being your own nap Captain." 193 00:07:12,776 --> 00:07:13,714 Come on, sweetie. 194 00:07:20,666 --> 00:07:22,394 - Hey! Hey. - Phil. 195 00:07:22,395 --> 00:07:23,851 Hey. Did you ring the doorbell? 196 00:07:23,852 --> 00:07:26,663 Oh, no, 'cause I have these two coffees. 197 00:07:26,664 --> 00:07:27,727 One is for you. 198 00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:28,384 Thank you. 199 00:07:28,385 --> 00:07:30,740 Here's my life-- a full-time job, 200 00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:33,314 a 3-year-old, and a second one on the way. 201 00:07:33,315 --> 00:07:34,929 And as a favor, 202 00:07:34,930 --> 00:07:37,474 I agreed to do a little work for Phil's agency. 203 00:07:37,475 --> 00:07:39,714 The problem is, I'm very good, 204 00:07:40,102 --> 00:07:42,624 and the more I do, the more they want me. 205 00:07:42,625 --> 00:07:44,711 I-I even turned in a few assignments late 206 00:07:44,712 --> 00:07:46,751 so that they'd fall out of love with me a little bit. 207 00:07:47,505 --> 00:07:48,544 Right. 208 00:07:48,895 --> 00:07:50,201 How-- how long have you been standing here? 209 00:07:50,202 --> 00:07:51,679 Are-- are you-- are you all right? 210 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:52,419 Oh, yeah. 211 00:07:52,420 --> 00:07:54,108 'Cause you're-- you're really blinking. 212 00:07:56,629 --> 00:07:58,141 I'm a stress blinker, 213 00:07:58,142 --> 00:08:01,540 um, and what really gets me going is confrontation. 214 00:08:01,541 --> 00:08:03,993 I hate it. I-I avoid it at all costs. 215 00:08:03,994 --> 00:08:04,990 Terrible at it. 216 00:08:04,991 --> 00:08:07,277 Once, I, uh, I tried to break up with a girl, 217 00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:08,912 and I danced around it so much, 218 00:08:08,913 --> 00:08:10,977 she didn't know I had broken up with her. 219 00:08:11,947 --> 00:08:13,676 20 years later, we're still married. 220 00:08:13,939 --> 00:08:17,479 I am... really... sorry... 221 00:08:18,811 --> 00:08:20,230 About the cold coffee. 222 00:08:20,231 --> 00:08:22,385 It's not that cold. It's lukewarm, so... 223 00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:25,277 Funny story about that expression-- 224 00:08:25,278 --> 00:08:27,861 when the kids were younger, um, we had a, uh, 225 00:08:27,862 --> 00:08:29,150 - a wading pool... - Uh-huh. 226 00:08:29,151 --> 00:08:30,866 And occasionally, Luke would have an accident, 227 00:08:30,867 --> 00:08:32,477 and, um, Alex would scream, 228 00:08:32,478 --> 00:08:34,514 and we'd say, um, "it's okay, honey, 229 00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:36,425 he's just making it lukewarm." 230 00:08:39,655 --> 00:08:41,018 - Wow, so-- so - I gotta get going, 231 00:08:41,019 --> 00:08:42,451 - but I-I'll see-- - Okay, wait! 232 00:08:42,452 --> 00:08:44,007 I'm just gonna come straight out and say it. 233 00:08:44,008 --> 00:08:46,106 Mitchell, you've done a wonderful job for the agency 234 00:08:46,107 --> 00:08:48,408 since you decided you'd help us out for just a little bit. 235 00:08:48,409 --> 00:08:50,257 And we couldn't ask for more, could we? 236 00:08:50,782 --> 00:08:52,545 I wish it didn't have to end. 237 00:08:53,154 --> 00:08:55,378 In fact, if it was up to me, you'd stay on forever... 238 00:08:55,379 --> 00:08:57,762 - Phil, Phil... - But it is not just up to me, is it? 239 00:08:57,812 --> 00:08:59,820 - So... I... - Phil, I saw this coming, 240 00:08:59,821 --> 00:09:01,795 and-- and look... 241 00:09:02,892 --> 00:09:05,949 I bailed. I made an excuse and left. 242 00:09:06,311 --> 00:09:08,118 But I-I-I've gotta be straight with him. 243 00:09:08,119 --> 00:09:10,567 "Phil, I cannot stay on with your firm forever." 244 00:09:10,985 --> 00:09:13,245 Oh! God, it's gonna crush him. 245 00:09:14,795 --> 00:09:16,490 Maybe I can get Claire to do it. 246 00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:18,286 Well, that was easy! 247 00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:23,086 We're really proud of you, buddy. See you at the ceremony. 248 00:09:26,918 --> 00:09:28,882 - You're not a hero. - I put out a fire. 249 00:09:28,883 --> 00:09:29,853 A fire you started. 250 00:09:29,854 --> 00:09:31,402 - Was there a fire? - Yes. 251 00:09:31,403 --> 00:09:32,589 - Did I put it out? - That's not-- 252 00:09:32,590 --> 00:09:34,015 Answer the question. 253 00:09:34,291 --> 00:09:35,213 Yes. 254 00:09:35,300 --> 00:09:36,702 I'm getting an award for it. 255 00:09:36,950 --> 00:09:38,706 If they gave awards for starting fires, 256 00:09:38,707 --> 00:09:40,130 I'd be getting one of those, too. 257 00:09:40,131 --> 00:09:42,093 I know you have a conscience, Luke. 258 00:09:42,773 --> 00:09:45,660 Do you see this flag? It stands for Justice. 259 00:09:45,846 --> 00:09:47,661 So when that fire marshall gets here, 260 00:09:47,662 --> 00:09:49,435 I know you're going to look at that flag 261 00:09:49,436 --> 00:09:50,674 and do the right thing. 262 00:09:58,349 --> 00:10:01,083 You were very quiet all the way home. 263 00:10:01,206 --> 00:10:04,116 Are you upset at me because I honked at that old lady? 264 00:10:04,117 --> 00:10:06,246 Normally, we leave the honking to the driver, 265 00:10:06,247 --> 00:10:07,499 but I'm used to it. 266 00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:09,219 Is it because of the sandwich? 267 00:10:09,220 --> 00:10:11,284 Ah, you maybe could have eaten half of it... 268 00:10:11,458 --> 00:10:12,780 Said a couple of nice things. 269 00:10:12,781 --> 00:10:14,529 It's just a sandwich, Jay. 270 00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:16,887 It's not about the delicious sandwich, Gloria. 271 00:10:16,888 --> 00:10:19,779 It's about being respectful of a person's feelings. 272 00:10:19,829 --> 00:10:21,284 But I was just being honest. 273 00:10:21,285 --> 00:10:22,207 You don't have to be honest 274 00:10:22,208 --> 00:10:23,877 about every little thing in a relationship. 275 00:10:23,878 --> 00:10:26,511 Some things you say, some things you don't. 276 00:10:26,545 --> 00:10:27,427 Oh? 277 00:10:27,428 --> 00:10:29,018 What are the things that you don't say? 278 00:10:29,019 --> 00:10:30,463 Gloria, I really don't wanna do this anymore. 279 00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:31,115 Oh, really? 280 00:10:31,116 --> 00:10:33,375 But you cannot just try to teach me a lesson, 281 00:10:33,376 --> 00:10:34,481 - and then not even-- - Okay, fine. 282 00:10:34,482 --> 00:10:35,544 I don't say this, 283 00:10:35,545 --> 00:10:38,233 but it... bothers me a little bit 284 00:10:38,234 --> 00:10:41,147 that you're just a tiny bit... loud. 285 00:10:41,148 --> 00:10:42,237 - Loud? - Not all the time. 286 00:10:42,238 --> 00:10:43,976 Only when you, you know, when you talk. 287 00:10:44,781 --> 00:10:46,180 So I embarrass you? 288 00:10:46,181 --> 00:10:47,914 Gloria... what? 289 00:10:48,275 --> 00:10:50,818 - Am I being too loud again? - All right. Buckle up. 290 00:10:50,819 --> 00:10:53,970 Oh, I'm gonna go and try to do the laundry, 291 00:10:53,971 --> 00:10:55,312 and I'm gonna do it very quietly 292 00:10:55,313 --> 00:10:58,630 so I don't bother you. Maybe Manny can help me. 293 00:10:59,119 --> 00:11:01,014 Manny! 294 00:11:01,015 --> 00:11:03,127 - I get it. - Manny! 295 00:11:03,128 --> 00:11:04,289 I get it. 296 00:11:07,297 --> 00:11:08,979 Now you're not even making any noise. 297 00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:14,156 Okay, this is way too many grapes, 298 00:11:14,157 --> 00:11:15,312 and this spoon is modern day, 299 00:11:15,313 --> 00:11:17,679 so if we use it, everyone at the table has to react in shock 300 00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:19,075 at the spoon from the future. 301 00:11:19,545 --> 00:11:21,657 - Okay. - And that went down the drain. 302 00:11:21,658 --> 00:11:23,089 And you need a nap. 303 00:11:23,090 --> 00:11:24,474 You need a nap. 304 00:11:24,668 --> 00:11:27,308 I got it. Ooh, I lost it. Shoot. 305 00:11:27,309 --> 00:11:29,781 Let me know if I can eliminate any distractions for you. 306 00:11:29,782 --> 00:11:31,632 Oh, I got it. No, I got a finger on it. There it is. 307 00:11:31,633 --> 00:11:33,003 Oh, lost it again. 308 00:11:33,156 --> 00:11:34,903 Maybe you should just wait until it comes to you. 309 00:11:34,904 --> 00:11:37,655 You know, make it the Captain of its own spoon platoon. 310 00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:39,681 I understand the point you're making, Claire, but... 311 00:11:39,917 --> 00:11:40,915 Oh! Now I'm stuck. 312 00:11:40,916 --> 00:11:42,060 Yeah, Cam, you are stuck. 313 00:11:42,061 --> 00:11:44,486 You are stuck on a philosophy that clearly doesn't work. 314 00:11:44,487 --> 00:11:47,234 Sometimes, you need to say "no" to a child. 315 00:11:47,235 --> 00:11:49,798 Yeah, and sometimes you need to say "no" to an adult. 316 00:11:49,799 --> 00:11:53,213 No, Claire. No, I don't need help raising my child. 317 00:11:53,948 --> 00:11:55,178 Oh. Okay. 318 00:11:55,498 --> 00:11:56,501 Sorry. 319 00:11:56,791 --> 00:11:58,658 Guess I-I do have a lot to learn. 320 00:11:59,430 --> 00:12:01,812 Right now, I-I'm looking forward to learning 321 00:12:01,813 --> 00:12:03,136 if you will get your arm out of there 322 00:12:03,137 --> 00:12:05,721 before Lily gets to the garbage disposal switch. 323 00:12:09,127 --> 00:12:11,439 Um... Lily, sweetie! 324 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,050 C-can you do something, please, Claire? 325 00:12:13,051 --> 00:12:14,419 I would like to. Really, I would, 326 00:12:14,420 --> 00:12:15,570 but I would probably just say "no" 327 00:12:15,571 --> 00:12:18,490 and shred her confidence and mangle her self-esteem. 328 00:12:18,491 --> 00:12:19,840 Okay, fine! I'm sorry! Just-- here, 329 00:12:20,048 --> 00:12:22,282 - Stop her! Stop her! Sweetie! - What to do with you? 330 00:12:22,302 --> 00:12:23,721 Claire! Okay! 331 00:12:28,803 --> 00:12:29,716 Ohh! Yes! 332 00:12:34,546 --> 00:12:36,566 - You think that's funny, don't ya? - Yes! 333 00:12:36,567 --> 00:12:38,706 Yes. Well, it's wicked, Claire. It's wicked. 334 00:12:38,707 --> 00:12:40,203 Come on. We're leaving, Lily! 335 00:12:40,477 --> 00:12:41,383 Lily! 336 00:12:41,485 --> 00:12:45,183 It's living art. We stay perfectly still for 90 seconds, 337 00:12:45,184 --> 00:12:46,482 basically doing nothing. 338 00:12:46,483 --> 00:12:47,906 Sounds like my first wife. 339 00:12:48,030 --> 00:12:49,895 I don't know. She always moved for me. 340 00:12:49,896 --> 00:12:52,152 As long as you both agree it was only 90 seconds. 341 00:12:52,153 --> 00:12:54,045 Two nerds with one stone! 342 00:12:54,286 --> 00:12:56,028 I love working in an office. 343 00:12:56,029 --> 00:12:58,095 Is that your brother-in-law? I thought you fired him. 344 00:12:58,096 --> 00:12:59,779 I did, before work. 345 00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:00,760 Then what's he doing here? 346 00:13:00,761 --> 00:13:02,541 Is he disgruntled? He looks disgruntled. 347 00:13:02,542 --> 00:13:04,113 No, he always looks like that. 348 00:13:04,519 --> 00:13:06,808 Hey. How's it going? 349 00:13:06,809 --> 00:13:08,267 Hey, hey. Listen-- 350 00:13:08,451 --> 00:13:09,703 - Okay, I know this is uncomfortable... - Mm-hmm. 351 00:13:09,704 --> 00:13:12,346 But we really need to talk about my future here. 352 00:13:12,347 --> 00:13:13,752 But I-I-I thought we-- 353 00:13:13,753 --> 00:13:15,626 No, I know. I know I led you to believe 354 00:13:15,627 --> 00:13:17,603 that I'd be able to stay on here indefinitely, 355 00:13:17,604 --> 00:13:18,968 and--and... O-okay, 356 00:13:18,969 --> 00:13:19,949 - don't get all blinky. - Oh. 357 00:13:19,950 --> 00:13:22,314 - No, it's not all bad news, okay? - Okay. 358 00:13:22,315 --> 00:13:24,196 You will have me until July, like we agreed. 359 00:13:24,197 --> 00:13:25,582 - Okay, great. - Yes. 360 00:13:25,583 --> 00:13:27,529 Hey, could you jump on the elevator with me real quick? 361 00:13:27,530 --> 00:13:29,800 Yes. Yes. I could use a hand carrying up some stuff from my car. 362 00:13:31,055 --> 00:13:34,419 Oh! My goodness. I probably need some empty boxes, don't I? 363 00:13:34,420 --> 00:13:35,846 You know what? You head down, 364 00:13:35,847 --> 00:13:37,033 I'll meet you at the glass doors. 365 00:13:37,034 --> 00:13:37,950 There was something else. What was it? 366 00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:39,290 I know it's in there. Oh, yeah, you're fired. 367 00:13:39,291 --> 00:13:41,510 What? F-fired?! 368 00:13:42,829 --> 00:13:44,515 W-what's going on with these things? 369 00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:46,712 You trying to open 'em? 370 00:13:46,713 --> 00:13:47,720 Mm-hmm. 371 00:13:47,873 --> 00:13:49,852 I guess I better... get somebody. 372 00:13:49,853 --> 00:13:51,096 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait-- 373 00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:52,350 you're firing me? 374 00:13:52,547 --> 00:13:54,103 I-I don't even like this job. 375 00:13:54,104 --> 00:13:55,321 That can't be safe. 376 00:13:55,397 --> 00:13:57,463 - Is someone trapped in there? - The guy they fired. 377 00:13:57,464 --> 00:13:58,749 Oh, the lazy guy? 378 00:13:58,750 --> 00:13:59,672 Lazy?! 379 00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:01,000 You handed in a couple of things late. 380 00:14:01,001 --> 00:14:02,282 I should have warned you. 381 00:14:02,283 --> 00:14:03,703 I'm terrible at breaking bad news. 382 00:14:03,704 --> 00:14:05,156 Well, then why did you come over to my house 383 00:14:05,157 --> 00:14:06,386 and tell me how great I was? 384 00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:08,009 That was me trying to fire you! 385 00:14:08,451 --> 00:14:11,399 I haven't felt like this since I tried to break up with Claire 20 years ago. 386 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:12,343 Someone's stuck again? 387 00:14:12,344 --> 00:14:14,464 That lawyer with the attitude they just fired. 388 00:14:14,465 --> 00:14:15,952 They said it was your attitude, 389 00:14:16,159 --> 00:14:17,881 like you were doing us a favor. 390 00:14:17,882 --> 00:14:20,068 I was doing you a favor! 391 00:14:20,155 --> 00:14:22,555 - Why didn't he get the stairs like everyone else? - Lazy. 392 00:14:25,097 --> 00:14:27,197 Don't worry, he can't get you. 393 00:14:27,197 --> 00:14:30,497 Two hours I got stuck in there with an entire office of people staring at me. 394 00:14:30,997 --> 00:14:32,497 I finally had to lie down. 395 00:14:34,511 --> 00:14:35,631 Didn't help my reputation. 396 00:14:39,303 --> 00:14:40,349 Figures. 397 00:14:52,150 --> 00:14:53,400 You guys nailed it. 398 00:14:54,016 --> 00:14:55,434 Dude, that was surreal. 399 00:14:55,777 --> 00:14:57,047 - Get it? - Dad, come on! 400 00:14:57,048 --> 00:14:58,872 We have a minute to set up! 401 00:14:59,506 --> 00:15:01,012 Where are Mitchell and Cam? 402 00:15:01,078 --> 00:15:03,824 Hey, Manny. Thanks for what you said before about the flag. 403 00:15:03,825 --> 00:15:05,088 It really got me thinking. 404 00:15:05,089 --> 00:15:06,484 I knew you had a conscience, Luke. 405 00:15:06,485 --> 00:15:08,676 And more importantly, you've got a good... 406 00:15:09,056 --> 00:15:09,905 You didn't. 407 00:15:09,906 --> 00:15:11,468 Yep. And thanks to you, 408 00:15:11,469 --> 00:15:14,061 I had them move the ceremony to right under the flag. 409 00:15:14,126 --> 00:15:15,539 I'll sign a picture for you. 410 00:15:17,729 --> 00:15:19,744 Oh, there you are. I was afraid you weren't coming. 411 00:15:19,745 --> 00:15:20,806 It was a discussion. 412 00:15:20,807 --> 00:15:21,684 If we weren't gonna show up, 413 00:15:21,685 --> 00:15:23,636 we would have clearly let you know, 414 00:15:23,637 --> 00:15:25,283 and not humiliated you in public. 415 00:15:25,284 --> 00:15:26,461 If it's any consolation, 416 00:15:26,462 --> 00:15:27,659 the lawyer we hired to replace you 417 00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:29,470 is already suing the elevator company. 418 00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:30,837 Ow. You're sitting on my hand. 419 00:15:30,838 --> 00:15:32,951 Be thankful you have two. I almost lost one today. 420 00:15:32,952 --> 00:15:34,051 Oh, stop being such a baby. 421 00:15:34,052 --> 00:15:35,383 She was nowhere near that switch. 422 00:15:35,384 --> 00:15:37,742 Shh! Keep your voices down. We're about to go on. 423 00:15:37,743 --> 00:15:38,769 Why you looking at me? 424 00:15:38,780 --> 00:15:41,138 Am I too loud? Is that what everybody thinks? 425 00:15:41,139 --> 00:15:43,430 - What? - There's a backstory here you don't wanna know about. 426 00:15:43,431 --> 00:15:46,071 - I want turkey. - Save your appetite, baby girl. 427 00:15:46,072 --> 00:15:47,173 And don't forget, afterwards, 428 00:15:47,174 --> 00:15:48,468 we're going to Lenny's for a bite to eat-- 429 00:15:48,469 --> 00:15:50,319 more than a bite if you value my feelings. 430 00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:52,057 Oh! Great, we get to see Maxine. 431 00:15:52,058 --> 00:15:54,007 What? You know Maxine, too? 432 00:15:54,008 --> 00:15:55,528 Oh, we all know Maxine. Love. 433 00:15:55,529 --> 00:15:56,857 Second-best hugger in the world, 434 00:15:56,858 --> 00:15:59,609 after Mr. Burt Reynolds. Story to follow. 435 00:15:59,610 --> 00:16:01,494 All right, guys, this will all be over in 90 seconds. 436 00:16:01,495 --> 00:16:03,111 - Hold your poses. - Okay. 437 00:16:03,112 --> 00:16:04,742 I really wanna impress Mr. Gorgeous. 438 00:16:05,446 --> 00:16:06,696 Jarvis! Shut up. 439 00:16:07,423 --> 00:16:09,222 Hey, Mitch, I know this isn't a good time, 440 00:16:09,223 --> 00:16:10,608 I-I just want you to know, 441 00:16:10,791 --> 00:16:12,727 - I'm really-- - I know, Phil.You're really sorry, okay? 442 00:16:12,728 --> 00:16:15,198 But this is gonna take me a little time to get over, all right? 443 00:16:15,290 --> 00:16:17,628 Actually, I was gonna say I'm really gonna need your parking pass. 444 00:16:17,629 --> 00:16:18,514 What?! 445 00:16:18,515 --> 00:16:21,727 Our next stage presentation will be Alex Dunphy's interpretation 446 00:16:21,728 --> 00:16:25,483 of Norman Rockwell's 1943 painting "Freedom from want." 447 00:16:26,470 --> 00:16:27,963 How do you sleep at night, Luke? 448 00:16:27,964 --> 00:16:29,775 - With a medal around my neck. - Shh! 449 00:16:29,776 --> 00:16:31,727 - I want Turkey. - Lily, no! 450 00:16:31,728 --> 00:16:32,908 She doesn't understand that word. 451 00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:33,927 Cram it, Claire. 452 00:16:33,928 --> 00:16:35,572 Control your child, Cam. 453 00:16:35,573 --> 00:16:37,735 It's not that difficult. I've raised three. 454 00:16:37,736 --> 00:16:38,737 - Really? - Cam! 455 00:16:38,881 --> 00:16:40,896 Why don't you ask Haley what time she got home last night? 456 00:16:40,897 --> 00:16:42,970 - Uncle Cam! - Sorry, dear. Collateral damage. 457 00:16:42,971 --> 00:16:44,400 - What is he talking about? - Shh! 458 00:16:44,401 --> 00:16:45,212 Your arms are shaking. 459 00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:45,940 Oh, yeah, 460 00:16:45,941 --> 00:16:48,833 I'm sure that the great Maxine can do a better job! 461 00:16:48,870 --> 00:16:50,886 You can criticize my parenting all you like, Cam, 462 00:16:50,887 --> 00:16:52,870 but my son just won a medal. 463 00:16:52,871 --> 00:16:54,133 For a fire he started. 464 00:16:54,134 --> 00:16:55,478 Luke, is that true? 465 00:16:57,212 --> 00:16:59,096 How long? It's getting heavy! 466 00:16:59,097 --> 00:17:00,604 You're not getting that parking pass back. 467 00:17:00,605 --> 00:17:01,995 I tried to let you down easy. 468 00:17:01,996 --> 00:17:03,864 You don't know how to talk to people, Phil. 469 00:17:03,895 --> 00:17:05,961 It's just like when Claire didn't even know you dumped her. 470 00:17:05,962 --> 00:17:07,410 - What? - When did dad dump you? 471 00:17:07,411 --> 00:17:09,387 I didn't dumr! I just tried to! 472 00:17:09,388 --> 00:17:11,040 I am losing it! 473 00:17:11,041 --> 00:17:12,439 Just a few more seconds! 474 00:17:13,225 --> 00:17:14,573 I want turkey. 475 00:17:14,574 --> 00:17:16,504 Lily, no! 476 00:17:17,566 --> 00:17:19,434 We really are trying to not say that word. 477 00:17:20,137 --> 00:17:21,175 B-minus, 478 00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:23,348 but there was a silver lining. 479 00:17:24,907 --> 00:17:26,855 "I expected more, Alex." 480 00:17:28,342 --> 00:17:29,410 Alex! 481 00:17:30,180 --> 00:17:31,789 I am gonna call Haley and tell her 482 00:17:31,790 --> 00:17:32,960 we're not going to that deli. 483 00:17:32,961 --> 00:17:34,552 I can't take another minute of Cam. 484 00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:35,654 You know, I'm not even sure 485 00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:37,336 I believe all these new parenting theories, 486 00:17:37,337 --> 00:17:40,283 but I'll be damned if I'm gonna let her tell me they're wrong. 487 00:17:40,557 --> 00:17:42,102 We are not going to dinner. 488 00:17:42,103 --> 00:17:43,520 I tried that sandwich. 489 00:17:43,564 --> 00:17:45,416 It's not that good. You're not missing anything. 490 00:17:45,645 --> 00:17:48,044 I sure won't miss seeing Luke and that stupid medal. 491 00:17:48,045 --> 00:17:50,207 I play by the rules. Where's my medal? 492 00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:52,108 Jay can stay with that Maxine. 493 00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:53,706 She's not loud like me. 494 00:17:53,929 --> 00:17:57,784 In fairness, you can be a little quick to give advice. 495 00:17:58,132 --> 00:18:00,544 Well, I'm always ready to help, if that's what you mean, yeah. 496 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,385 Yeah, but if you're not careful, it can come off a little... 497 00:18:04,497 --> 00:18:05,610 Know-it-all-y. 498 00:18:05,922 --> 00:18:06,916 That's not a word. 499 00:18:07,243 --> 00:18:10,388 What you mean to say is, it can come off like I know it all. 500 00:18:11,901 --> 00:18:13,110 I've always been this way. 501 00:18:13,111 --> 00:18:14,639 That's why I wanted to break up with you. 502 00:18:15,041 --> 00:18:17,473 The word "fired" doesn't even apply. 503 00:18:17,474 --> 00:18:19,362 You can't get fired from a favor. 504 00:18:19,363 --> 00:18:21,545 Okay, sweetie, maybe you should just let it go. 505 00:18:21,546 --> 00:18:24,119 Like I always say, it's better to carry a tune than a grudge. 506 00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:26,436 Okay, you... You've never said that, but... 507 00:18:26,553 --> 00:18:28,849 And--and what about this grudge you're holding against Claire? 508 00:18:28,850 --> 00:18:30,695 I don't see you trading that in for a tune. 509 00:18:30,696 --> 00:18:31,914 That is completely different. 510 00:18:31,915 --> 00:18:33,705 She insulted my parenting skills. 511 00:18:33,706 --> 00:18:36,324 Which, you have to admit, you can be pretty defensive about. 512 00:18:38,887 --> 00:18:41,128 Okay, so maybe we both can be a little sensitive. 513 00:18:41,129 --> 00:18:42,683 N-no. No. 514 00:18:42,684 --> 00:18:45,208 Mnh-mnh. No. These-- these are-- these are not equal. 515 00:18:45,209 --> 00:18:47,240 No, you have no idea what it feels like to be fired. 516 00:18:47,367 --> 00:18:49,845 Yes, I do. I've been fired. Everyone has. 517 00:18:49,952 --> 00:18:50,898 Not me. 518 00:18:51,581 --> 00:18:53,196 - Never? - No. 519 00:18:53,390 --> 00:18:56,013 Nope, I've always been very good at what I do. 520 00:18:56,444 --> 00:18:58,177 So then maybe what you're feeling 521 00:18:58,178 --> 00:19:00,798 is a little insecure about your work for the first time. 522 00:19:02,921 --> 00:19:04,312 That's hogwash. 523 00:19:04,538 --> 00:19:06,110 As someone who's seen actual hogwash, 524 00:19:06,111 --> 00:19:07,800 I can assure you that it's not. 525 00:19:08,477 --> 00:19:10,722 I don't know why you're so bothered by Maxine. 526 00:19:10,761 --> 00:19:11,829 She's nice. 527 00:19:11,894 --> 00:19:14,271 Oh, good! Why don't you, Jay, and Maxine 528 00:19:14,272 --> 00:19:16,709 live together, eating sandwiches forever?! 529 00:19:17,873 --> 00:19:19,655 Can I float a theory here, mom? 530 00:19:19,838 --> 00:19:21,356 You sound like you're jealous. 531 00:19:21,357 --> 00:19:22,701 Please! 532 00:19:22,727 --> 00:19:25,041 Me jealous of that woman? 533 00:19:25,218 --> 00:19:28,158 I just don't like the way they talk to each other! 534 00:19:28,159 --> 00:19:29,899 And the little jokes, 535 00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:32,154 and she knows everything about his life! 536 00:19:32,443 --> 00:19:34,364 Just makes me feel like, em... 537 00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:39,359 Is that jealous? 538 00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:44,158 Ay, my poor sisters. 539 00:19:46,993 --> 00:19:49,896 Just you? I thought the whole family was swinging by. 540 00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:50,819 Who knows what they're doing? 541 00:19:50,820 --> 00:19:52,401 Right now, they're all sniping at each other. 542 00:19:52,402 --> 00:19:53,556 Ah, who needs 'em? 543 00:19:53,557 --> 00:19:54,934 Right. As long as I have you, Maxine... 544 00:19:54,935 --> 00:19:56,037 I'm off in five. 545 00:19:56,038 --> 00:19:57,389 Hey, Luke! 546 00:19:57,540 --> 00:19:59,098 What's with all the hardware? 547 00:19:59,099 --> 00:20:02,124 Well, he set fire to a school and lied about it. 548 00:20:02,125 --> 00:20:03,821 You know they give medals for anything these days. 549 00:20:03,822 --> 00:20:05,104 It's going back tomorrow. 550 00:20:05,461 --> 00:20:07,192 He doesn't get a lot of medals. 551 00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:10,806 I just really need one of these. Hey. 552 00:20:11,661 --> 00:20:13,790 - Don't hold back. - Oh! 553 00:20:13,791 --> 00:20:15,464 - My girls. There they are. - Hi. 554 00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:17,010 - Hello, hello. - Hi, all. 555 00:20:17,011 --> 00:20:18,901 - Hey, Cam. - Hey! 556 00:20:21,019 --> 00:20:22,016 Come on in! 557 00:20:24,726 --> 00:20:27,043 I, uh, I appreciate your coming. 558 00:20:27,044 --> 00:20:30,306 - And, again, I really, really-- thank you. - Yeah. 559 00:20:30,347 --> 00:20:32,398 - There she is. - Well, look who made it. 560 00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:34,677 Hola, Maxine. So nice to see you. 561 00:20:34,764 --> 00:20:36,099 Let me get you some menus. 562 00:20:36,100 --> 00:20:37,031 We don't need it. 563 00:20:37,032 --> 00:20:38,953 It's Jay Pritchetts all around! 564 00:20:41,214 --> 00:20:43,431 Gloria, if you want your sandwich without anchovies, 565 00:20:43,432 --> 00:20:44,721 - I won't be offended. - Aw. 566 00:20:45,797 --> 00:20:47,490 Of course, then it'll be a Jack Feldman. 567 00:20:55,044 --> 00:20:56,586 - Hey. Hmm? - Yeah? 568 00:20:56,587 --> 00:20:58,193 - Hey, man. - Is the repair guy here? 569 00:20:58,194 --> 00:20:59,485 He's working on it. 570 00:20:59,921 --> 00:21:00,738 Um, listen, uh, 571 00:21:00,739 --> 00:21:02,780 it's Katie's birthday, skip's assistant. 572 00:21:02,781 --> 00:21:04,797 Big 3-0. Still no ring. 573 00:21:04,798 --> 00:21:05,899 You woke me up to tell me that? 574 00:21:05,900 --> 00:21:07,623 No, no. I-I grabbed you some cake. 575 00:21:07,624 --> 00:21:09,683 Oh, sure it's not for employees only? 576 00:21:09,684 --> 00:21:11,242 Okay. Had that coming. 577 00:21:11,243 --> 00:21:12,434 Who are you talking to, Phil? 578 00:21:12,435 --> 00:21:13,765 - Mitchell. - Who? 579 00:21:13,766 --> 00:21:15,917 Mitchell, my br-- uh, the lazy guy. 580 00:21:15,918 --> 00:21:17,422 I was doing you a favor. 581 00:21:18,835 --> 00:21:20,590 All right, just give me the cake. I'm hungry. 582 00:21:21,432 --> 00:21:22,562 No! Oh. 583 00:21:23,162 --> 00:21:30,062 Synced by YYeTs, corrected by gloriabg www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net