1 00:00:01,970 --> 00:00:03,971 It's just until grandma can see them. 2 00:00:04,039 --> 00:00:05,239 My neck hole is too small. 3 00:00:05,307 --> 00:00:06,574 Mine's itchy. 4 00:00:06,642 --> 00:00:09,010 I'd rather be itchy than choky. 5 00:00:09,077 --> 00:00:10,211 Come on, phil. Hurry up. 6 00:00:10,279 --> 00:00:11,712 Okay, here we go. 7 00:00:11,780 --> 00:00:13,948 Connecting. 8 00:00:14,016 --> 00:00:16,684 [ muffled ] come in, florida! Over! 9 00:00:16,752 --> 00:00:18,419 Mom? Dad? 10 00:00:18,487 --> 00:00:20,054 Hello, phillip. 11 00:00:20,122 --> 00:00:21,188 [ chuckles ] 12 00:00:21,256 --> 00:00:24,425 All: Merry christmas eve! 13 00:00:24,493 --> 00:00:26,427 Merry christmas eve! 14 00:00:26,495 --> 00:00:28,229 A little -- little lower, dad. 15 00:00:28,297 --> 00:00:30,064 [ deeper voice ] merry christmas eve. 16 00:00:30,132 --> 00:00:31,265 [ chuckles ] 17 00:00:31,333 --> 00:00:33,768 Thank you -- thanks for the sweaters! 18 00:00:33,835 --> 00:00:34,969 [ normal voice ] oh, you're welcome. 19 00:00:35,037 --> 00:00:36,504 You look beautiful in them. 20 00:00:36,571 --> 00:00:37,672 Where's mom? 21 00:00:37,739 --> 00:00:40,174 Mom is sinking fast. Uh-oh. 22 00:00:40,242 --> 00:00:41,375 She's in the bathtub. 23 00:00:41,443 --> 00:00:42,743 [ laughter ] 24 00:00:42,811 --> 00:00:45,112 They have that claw foot. I know, yeah. 25 00:00:45,180 --> 00:00:47,615 Hey, pops, here's the tree. 26 00:00:47,683 --> 00:00:50,284 And, uh, there -- there's the, uh -- 27 00:00:50,352 --> 00:00:52,486 There's the ornament you sent us. 28 00:00:52,554 --> 00:00:54,255 Right here. Right here. 29 00:00:54,323 --> 00:00:56,557 There are the stockings, 30 00:00:56,625 --> 00:00:59,694 Hung by the chimney by claire. 31 00:00:59,761 --> 00:01:01,529 Oh, still funny, son. 32 00:01:01,596 --> 00:01:02,530 [ laughter ] 33 00:01:02,597 --> 00:01:04,131 What the hell is that? 34 00:01:04,199 --> 00:01:06,300 What is that? That looks like a cigarette burn. 35 00:01:06,368 --> 00:01:08,135 Was one of you smoking a cigarette? 36 00:01:08,203 --> 00:01:09,070 No. No. No. No. 37 00:01:09,137 --> 00:01:10,838 Which one of you was smoking? 38 00:01:10,906 --> 00:01:12,440 Not me. I have a respiratory problem. 39 00:01:12,507 --> 00:01:14,175 Obviously, it wasn't you. 40 00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:16,644 Now I've got a family of liars and smokers. Honey, come here. 41 00:01:16,712 --> 00:01:18,112 You got to see this. 42 00:01:18,180 --> 00:01:20,481 Did you shoplift your christmas presents, too? 43 00:01:20,549 --> 00:01:21,949 Haley, keep that ugly sweater on. 44 00:01:22,017 --> 00:01:23,384 Anyway... 45 00:01:23,452 --> 00:01:24,819 Merry christmas! 46 00:01:28,962 --> 00:01:36,764 -- Sync by honeybunny -- www.addic7ed.com 47 00:01:37,632 --> 00:01:39,834 [ television plays ] 48 00:01:47,342 --> 00:01:48,642 Are you crying? 49 00:01:48,710 --> 00:01:50,444 What are you, a robot? 50 00:01:50,512 --> 00:01:52,913 It's a deeply emotional movie. 51 00:01:52,981 --> 00:01:55,115 Manny, mi amor, I need you to help me in the kitchen. 52 00:01:55,183 --> 00:01:56,717 We got to finish this first, gloria. 53 00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,785 The kid's never seen "miracle on 34th street." 54 00:01:58,853 --> 00:02:00,621 That's because he always spends christmas in colombia 55 00:02:00,688 --> 00:02:02,089 With my family. 56 00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:05,325 And all we see there is "salazar and el oso save christmas." 57 00:02:05,393 --> 00:02:07,160 Sounds like a classic. It is. 58 00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:09,129 Mom, can we finish the movie? 59 00:02:09,197 --> 00:02:10,764 Okay. 60 00:02:10,832 --> 00:02:12,099 [ television plays ] 61 00:02:17,672 --> 00:02:18,739 Aah! What the hell is that? 62 00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:20,173 What the hell is that? 63 00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:21,241 [ laughs ] inocente! 64 00:02:21,309 --> 00:02:22,676 What the hell? 65 00:02:22,744 --> 00:02:25,846 When you told me we were going to watch this movie, 66 00:02:25,914 --> 00:02:27,648 I got a joke copy from the internet. 67 00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:29,550 You are the inocente! 68 00:02:29,617 --> 00:02:31,785 Well, maybe I'm a little confused right now. 69 00:02:31,853 --> 00:02:33,220 What is this inocente stuff? 70 00:02:33,288 --> 00:02:36,790 In colombia, practical jokes are a christmas tradition. 71 00:02:36,858 --> 00:02:38,892 The one that is fooled is the inocente! 72 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,361 We tell practical jokes on April fool's day. 73 00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:43,463 Do not do that again. 74 00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:44,765 [ laughs ] 75 00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:46,099 Inocente. 76 00:02:47,802 --> 00:02:49,169 Does it do it again? 77 00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:51,104 Ah, it's ruined. 78 00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:52,639 Are you kidding me with this line? 79 00:02:52,707 --> 00:02:54,808 I'm gonna ask santa for the last 45 minutes of my life back. 80 00:02:54,876 --> 00:02:56,176 Oh, would you cheer up? 81 00:02:56,244 --> 00:02:58,445 We're in santa's village with our daughter. 82 00:02:58,513 --> 00:02:59,846 Where were we a year ago? 83 00:02:59,914 --> 00:03:01,448 Uh, we were at the beginning of this line. 84 00:03:01,516 --> 00:03:02,716 Okay, you know what? 85 00:03:02,784 --> 00:03:03,951 Somebody needs to get in the holiday -- 86 00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:05,352 Son of a bitch. 87 00:03:05,420 --> 00:03:07,654 [ carolers' song plays ] 88 00:03:07,722 --> 00:03:09,089 Maybe it's not them. 89 00:03:09,157 --> 00:03:11,625 Oh, it's them. 90 00:03:11,693 --> 00:03:13,994 It's them. 91 00:03:14,062 --> 00:03:16,129 Three years ago, I formed a caroling group. 92 00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:18,098 We were known as "the greensleevers." 93 00:03:18,166 --> 00:03:20,100 We would perform at charity events, hospitals. 94 00:03:20,168 --> 00:03:21,902 And they were very, very popular. 95 00:03:21,970 --> 00:03:24,237 Uh, last year... 96 00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:27,874 One of my carolers -- andrew... 97 00:03:27,942 --> 00:03:29,776 Staged a little coup... 98 00:03:29,844 --> 00:03:32,512 And, he, um... 99 00:03:37,919 --> 00:03:39,720 They kicked cameron out of the group. 100 00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:41,888 [ carolers' song plays ] 101 00:03:55,303 --> 00:03:56,937 [ applause ] thank you. 102 00:03:57,005 --> 00:03:59,439 We're the new greensleevers. 103 00:04:02,510 --> 00:04:03,610 The new greensleevers. 104 00:04:03,678 --> 00:04:05,278 Is there a slap mark on my face? 105 00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:07,514 I mean, why is edna singing the low harmony? 106 00:04:07,582 --> 00:04:09,716 It's like people are applauding out of shock. 107 00:04:09,784 --> 00:04:11,018 Let it go. 108 00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:12,052 Okay, next. 109 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:13,120 Oh, finally. 110 00:04:13,187 --> 00:04:15,455 Whoa. Chuckles ] 111 00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:18,158 Um, I'm sorry. Can I -- could -- could you... 112 00:04:18,226 --> 00:04:20,060 What happened to the other santa? 113 00:04:20,128 --> 00:04:22,295 Listen, we've been waiting in this line for a really long time, 114 00:04:22,363 --> 00:04:24,965 And we just want a santa that actually looks like santa. 115 00:04:25,033 --> 00:04:27,067 Mitchell, it's okay. No, no, no, cam. It's not okay. 116 00:04:27,135 --> 00:04:28,435 This is lily's first christmas. 117 00:04:28,503 --> 00:04:30,537 I want to make sure everything is perfect. 118 00:04:30,605 --> 00:04:32,372 And we're gonna wait for the fat santa. 119 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,307 I knew this would happen. 120 00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:36,376 I-I don't even know why we hired this guy. 121 00:04:36,444 --> 00:04:37,978 See? Even his elves agree with me. 122 00:04:38,046 --> 00:04:39,212 Thank you. 123 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:41,481 I didn't know christmas made you so petty. 124 00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:44,251 [ carolers' song plays ] 125 00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:45,152 [ coughs ] lackluster! 126 00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:50,190 [ coughs ] I hate you! 127 00:04:50,258 --> 00:04:51,491 This is unacceptable. 128 00:04:51,559 --> 00:04:53,226 And I want to know whdid this. 129 00:04:53,294 --> 00:04:54,361 Hmm? 130 00:04:54,429 --> 00:04:56,029 Nobody, huh? 131 00:04:56,097 --> 00:04:58,265 I guess the couch did it to itself. 132 00:04:58,332 --> 00:05:00,534 I guess it came home after a tough day, lit up a cigarette, 133 00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:01,902 And then it burned itself. 134 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,904 Is that what happened? Because that makes no sense. 135 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:06,306 If whoever is responsible doesn't come forward, 136 00:05:06,374 --> 00:05:08,709 Your father and I are just gonna have to punish all three of you. 137 00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:09,676 What? Yeah. 138 00:05:09,744 --> 00:05:10,744 That's not fair. 139 00:05:10,812 --> 00:05:12,045 I can forgive the smoking, 140 00:05:12,113 --> 00:05:13,080 But I can't forgive the lie... 141 00:05:13,147 --> 00:05:16,416 Phil. Or the smoking. 142 00:05:16,484 --> 00:05:18,185 No one wants to confess, huh? 143 00:05:18,252 --> 00:05:19,920 No? That's fine. 144 00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,922 'cause you know what happens next? 145 00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:23,657 We cancel christmas. 146 00:05:23,725 --> 00:05:25,158 [ haley chuckles ] 147 00:05:25,226 --> 00:05:26,660 Luke: That's not fair. 148 00:05:26,728 --> 00:05:28,295 Okay, dad, sure. 149 00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:31,498 Phil has a habit of making big pronouncements to the kids. 150 00:05:31,566 --> 00:05:32,833 [ chuckles ] 151 00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,267 One time I told luke 152 00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:36,837 That if he didn't put his dirty dishes in the dishwasher, 153 00:05:36,904 --> 00:05:38,638 We would put them in his bed. 154 00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:42,542 Phil's problem is follow-through. 155 00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:46,279 We had no more dishes, 156 00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:49,483 So we were eating cere out of the goldfish bowl. 157 00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:51,818 Okay, guess where I'm headed. 158 00:05:51,886 --> 00:05:54,020 To take down the tree. That's right. 159 00:05:54,088 --> 00:05:55,322 Come on, guys. 160 00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:57,290 Whoever did is, just take responsibility. 161 00:05:57,358 --> 00:05:59,192 Don't put the rest of us through this. 162 00:05:59,260 --> 00:06:00,794 Luke? No? 163 00:06:00,862 --> 00:06:02,963 This is really it, okay? 164 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,464 Here we go. 165 00:06:06,234 --> 00:06:08,902 3...2...1... 166 00:06:10,338 --> 00:06:12,706 Okay. Goodbye, dunphy christmas. 167 00:06:12,774 --> 00:06:14,574 Haley, I guess you're not getting that car. 168 00:06:14,642 --> 00:06:15,942 I was getting a car?! 169 00:06:16,010 --> 00:06:17,811 No, I was lying, because that's what we do now. 170 00:06:17,879 --> 00:06:20,247 Dunphys are liars. 171 00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:30,964 I mean, what's with them tossing out candy canes after every carol? 172 00:06:31,032 --> 00:06:32,466 It's pandering. 173 00:06:32,533 --> 00:06:34,101 I think you made that clear when you tossed them back. 174 00:06:34,168 --> 00:06:35,936 Okay, how am I supposed to get all this in the car? 175 00:06:36,004 --> 00:06:37,137 Let me give you a hand with that. 176 00:06:37,205 --> 00:06:39,239 Uh, thanks. Thanks -- thanks, santa. 177 00:06:39,307 --> 00:06:40,941 Can't call me that anymore. 178 00:06:41,009 --> 00:06:43,010 Just got canned. 179 00:06:43,077 --> 00:06:44,678 Oh. Really? 180 00:06:44,746 --> 00:06:46,780 Guess a couple of people complained I wasn't fat enough. 181 00:06:46,848 --> 00:06:48,315 Well, that's terrible. 182 00:06:48,383 --> 00:06:50,617 That'shat I get for trying not to have a second heart attack. 183 00:06:50,685 --> 00:06:52,219 There you go. 184 00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:53,654 Always a way to make room. 185 00:06:53,721 --> 00:06:55,856 Take it from someone who lives in his car. 186 00:06:55,924 --> 00:06:58,325 Um...Oh, well, thank you so much. 187 00:06:58,393 --> 00:07:00,193 No problem. Merry christmas. 188 00:07:00,261 --> 00:07:01,528 Um, wait, wait. 189 00:07:01,596 --> 00:07:03,697 Um, please, let me give you a little something. 190 00:07:03,765 --> 00:07:05,866 For -- for your troubles. No, that's okay. No, really, that's okay. 191 00:07:05,934 --> 00:07:07,134 Do you really live in your car? 192 00:07:07,201 --> 00:07:09,236 Yeah, it's not so bad. 193 00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:11,605 It's pretty roomy since the wife moved out. 194 00:07:11,673 --> 00:07:13,073 Well... 195 00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:14,741 Why don't you come over to our place for dinner tonight? 196 00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:16,009 Seriously? 197 00:07:16,077 --> 00:07:17,511 Yeah, it's christmas eve. 198 00:07:17,578 --> 00:07:19,780 You -- you can't spend it in your car. 199 00:07:19,847 --> 00:07:21,782 Wow, that's really nice of you guys. 200 00:07:21,849 --> 00:07:23,183 Listen, can I bring anything? 201 00:07:23,251 --> 00:07:25,085 Ketchup, soy sauce, straws? 202 00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:26,653 We're good. 203 00:07:26,721 --> 00:07:29,556 So, uh, why don't you follow us to our house? 204 00:07:29,624 --> 00:07:30,958 Okay. In your house. 205 00:07:31,025 --> 00:07:33,160 [ chuckles ] 206 00:07:33,227 --> 00:07:34,661 All right. 207 00:07:34,729 --> 00:07:35,829 Cameron. What? 208 00:07:38,900 --> 00:07:43,804 Okay, tonight 9:00 sharp, we open one present each -- 209 00:07:43,871 --> 00:07:45,472 Pajamas, which we sleep in. 210 00:07:45,540 --> 00:07:47,808 Tomorrow morning, 7:00 a.M., 211 00:07:47,875 --> 00:07:50,877 Manny on the stairs for the christmas picture. 212 00:07:50,945 --> 00:07:53,480 Then we open presents. 213 00:07:53,548 --> 00:07:55,649 In colombia, they open presents at midnight 214 00:07:55,717 --> 00:07:56,750 And stay up till morning. 215 00:07:56,818 --> 00:07:58,251 I'm sure that they do, 216 00:07:58,319 --> 00:08:00,220 But as you'll notice from the absence of goats in the street, 217 00:08:00,288 --> 00:08:01,822 We are not in colombia. 218 00:08:01,889 --> 00:08:04,691 [ chuckling ] come on, I'm kidding. 219 00:08:04,759 --> 00:08:07,728 Why can't we mix a couple of colombian traditions in? 220 00:08:07,795 --> 00:08:10,197 Like what? Like fireworks. 221 00:08:10,264 --> 00:08:11,932 Come on, you don't have fireworks in colombia. 222 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,967 You're trying to make me the inocente again. 223 00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:15,302 No, we do. 224 00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,471 At night, the sky is beautiful, very christmasy. 225 00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:18,839 That doesn't make any sense. 226 00:08:18,906 --> 00:08:21,241 Look, every country has their own traditions. 227 00:08:21,309 --> 00:08:22,876 In our culture, for example, 228 00:08:22,944 --> 00:08:24,878 The baby jesus is the one that brings the gifts, 229 00:08:24,946 --> 00:08:26,680 Not the santa claus. 230 00:08:26,748 --> 00:08:28,181 But that doesn't make sense. 231 00:08:28,249 --> 00:08:30,650 How could a newborn baby carry all those prents? 232 00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:32,953 They don't even know where their hands are. 233 00:08:33,021 --> 00:08:34,788 At least a baby can fit through a chimney. 234 00:08:34,856 --> 00:08:37,290 How would you sit on the baby jesus' lap? 235 00:08:37,358 --> 00:08:38,392 You'd squish it. 236 00:08:38,459 --> 00:08:40,527 Manny, next year, we'll talk about 237 00:08:40,595 --> 00:08:42,295 Some of your little colombian traditions, okay? 238 00:08:42,363 --> 00:08:43,330 Maybe. 239 00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:44,798 I know what "maybe" means. 240 00:08:44,866 --> 00:08:47,868 It's like you're trying to take away my whole christmas. 241 00:08:49,303 --> 00:08:50,871 I can't believe it's all gone. 242 00:08:50,938 --> 00:08:52,372 Dad never follows through. 243 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:55,108 Are you sure one of your friends didn't burn the couch? 244 00:08:55,176 --> 00:08:56,576 Hey, don't look at me. 245 00:08:56,644 --> 00:08:58,311 Only one of us was ever caught playing with matches. 246 00:08:58,379 --> 00:09:00,480 Luke. 247 00:09:00,548 --> 00:09:01,915 That was a year ago. 248 00:09:01,983 --> 00:09:03,517 Just admit you did it. 249 00:09:03,584 --> 00:09:04,584 You admit you did it! 250 00:09:04,652 --> 00:09:07,187 Okay. Look, I have an idea. 251 00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,289 Do you remember the movie "spartacus"? 252 00:09:11,793 --> 00:09:13,460 Here's what we do -- 253 00:09:13,528 --> 00:09:16,029 Luke, you tell mom and dad it's your fault. 254 00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:17,197 I didn't do it. 255 00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:19,833 It doesn't matter, because after you coess, 256 00:09:19,901 --> 00:09:23,637 Haley and I will each confess to the same thing. 257 00:09:23,704 --> 00:09:25,272 How does that do anything? 258 00:09:25,339 --> 00:09:27,941 They'll be so touched that we're protecting each other 259 00:09:28,009 --> 00:09:30,077 That they'll have to bring back christmas. 260 00:09:30,144 --> 00:09:32,813 That's awesome. 261 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:34,815 How does it work again? 262 00:09:34,882 --> 00:09:36,349 We're gonna pass into legend -- 263 00:09:36,417 --> 00:09:37,851 The parents who canceled christmas. 264 00:09:37,919 --> 00:09:39,186 I thought you'd be happy. 265 00:09:39,253 --> 00:09:40,520 They'll write songs about us, 266 00:09:40,588 --> 00:09:42,089 Make one of those christmaspecials 267 00:09:42,156 --> 00:09:43,690 With those ugly little clay people. 268 00:09:43,758 --> 00:09:45,025 You're the one who always says 269 00:09:45,093 --> 00:09:47,260 I shouldn't be sa pushover with the kids. 270 00:09:47,328 --> 00:09:49,096 So this is where you decide to make your stand? 271 00:09:49,163 --> 00:09:51,264 Really, phil? Okay, okay, look, don't worry. 272 00:09:51,332 --> 00:09:52,532 We're going to have christmas. 273 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:53,800 We raised our kids right. 274 00:09:53,868 --> 00:09:55,535 Whoever did it will come forward... 275 00:09:55,603 --> 00:09:57,170 Or the other two will rat them out. 276 00:09:57,238 --> 00:09:59,673 Mom? Dad? 277 00:09:59,740 --> 00:10:01,007 Hey, luke. 278 00:10:01,075 --> 00:10:04,010 What -- what can we do for you? 279 00:10:07,515 --> 00:10:10,450 I did it. I was playing with matches. 280 00:10:10,518 --> 00:10:11,551 I'm sorry. 281 00:10:11,619 --> 00:10:13,487 You, uh -- 282 00:10:13,554 --> 00:10:16,123 You did the right thing by confessing, 283 00:10:16,190 --> 00:10:19,493 But, um... This is bad, buddy. 284 00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:21,528 I mean, really bad, okay? 285 00:10:21,596 --> 00:10:24,097 Claire, you want to handle this? 286 00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:27,434 Um, luke, why didn't you say something? 287 00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:29,369 Mm...I don't know. 288 00:10:29,437 --> 00:10:31,304 Okay, well, your father and I 289 00:10:31,372 --> 00:10:33,406 Are extremely disappointed in you. 290 00:10:33,474 --> 00:10:35,242 So go up to your room. 291 00:10:35,309 --> 00:10:36,243 Go on. 292 00:10:36,310 --> 00:10:37,477 Alex! 293 00:10:37,545 --> 00:10:38,712 We'll be up to talk to you in a minute. 294 00:10:38,779 --> 00:10:40,013 Haley! What? 295 00:10:40,081 --> 00:10:41,915 Say something! About what? 296 00:10:41,983 --> 00:10:43,917 I take it back! What is going on? 297 00:10:43,985 --> 00:10:45,719 These guys were gonna say they did it, too, 298 00:10:45,786 --> 00:10:47,187 And you were gonna be proud of all of us. 299 00:10:47,255 --> 00:10:48,421 Why would we do that? 300 00:10:48,489 --> 00:10:49,923 I don't know what to believe with this kid. 301 00:10:49,991 --> 00:10:51,525 Liars! I didn't do it! 302 00:10:51,592 --> 00:10:53,593 Well, it wasn't me. Don't look at me. 303 00:10:53,661 --> 00:10:54,561 Seriously? 304 00:10:54,629 --> 00:10:56,163 Wait. 305 00:10:56,230 --> 00:10:57,898 Nobody did it again? 306 00:10:57,965 --> 00:10:59,966 No, that's fine. 307 00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:02,736 Guess what -- christmas is still canceled. 308 00:11:02,803 --> 00:11:04,871 That's fine by me. 309 00:11:04,939 --> 00:11:07,207 I'll start working on next year. 310 00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:11,578 Hey, and memo to new year's eve and easter -- 311 00:11:11,646 --> 00:11:14,214 Watch your back! 312 00:11:14,282 --> 00:11:17,851 So, after I left the marines, I just kind of traveled the world. 313 00:11:17,919 --> 00:11:20,554 Now I go from town to town picking up odd jobs. 314 00:11:20,621 --> 00:11:22,522 Oh, kind of like the hulk. 315 00:11:22,590 --> 00:11:23,890 [ chuckles ] that's weird. 316 00:11:23,958 --> 00:11:25,959 That was my -- that was my nickname in the corps. 317 00:11:26,027 --> 00:11:28,862 'cause of my bad temper. 318 00:11:28,930 --> 00:11:32,032 Anyway, thanks for having me over 319 00:11:32,099 --> 00:11:35,235 And having me for dinner, letting me do my laundry. 320 00:11:35,303 --> 00:11:38,605 This has not been a good day. 321 00:11:38,673 --> 00:11:42,709 Um, scott, I-I have a confession to make. 322 00:11:42,777 --> 00:11:44,544 Yeah? Um... 323 00:11:44,612 --> 00:11:47,480 I didn't cl-- I didn't clean the lint tray, 324 00:11:47,548 --> 00:11:49,950 So, um, your clothes might be a little pilly. 325 00:11:50,017 --> 00:11:52,085 Oh, no problem. That's the least of my worries. 326 00:11:52,153 --> 00:11:55,055 Thanks for everything. You guys made my day. 327 00:11:55,122 --> 00:11:56,256 It's the least we could do. 328 00:11:56,324 --> 00:11:58,024 What do you mean? 329 00:11:58,092 --> 00:11:59,693 I don't know... 330 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,027 What I was saying. 331 00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:02,629 [ chuckles ] 332 00:12:06,467 --> 00:12:08,034 I-I just say we never tell him. 333 00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:11,238 Exactly. We give him some money, a hot al, laundry. 334 00:12:11,305 --> 00:12:12,706 I think we're square. 335 00:12:12,773 --> 00:12:13,840 Agreed. 336 00:12:13,908 --> 00:12:15,742 Okay, how does this thing work? 337 00:12:15,810 --> 00:12:17,978 Yeah, I think you just press that button right there in the middle. 338 00:12:18,045 --> 00:12:19,512 Yeah. Oh, my... 339 00:12:19,580 --> 00:12:21,348 Okay, that -- well, that seems a little high, doesn't it? 340 00:12:21,415 --> 00:12:23,083 Yes. I'm not putting lily in that. 341 00:12:23,150 --> 00:12:25,051 It's like something astronauts train in. 342 00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:26,786 [ banging on door ] y: Ho, ho, ho! It's me! 343 00:12:26,854 --> 00:12:28,088 Ho, ho, ho! It's me! 344 00:12:28,155 --> 00:12:29,990 It's your dad. Yeah. 345 00:12:30,057 --> 00:12:31,925 Hey, dad. Hi. 346 00:12:31,993 --> 00:12:33,827 Hey! I brought your presents. 347 00:12:33,894 --> 00:12:35,996 Aren't we seeing you tomorrow, jay? 348 00:12:36,063 --> 00:12:37,464 Well, these are your christmas eve gifts. 349 00:12:37,531 --> 00:12:38,565 You know the drill. Oh, yeah. 350 00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:39,633 You open those up before bedtime. 351 00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:40,834 They're pajamas. 352 00:12:40,901 --> 00:12:42,469 Still keeping traditions alive. 353 00:12:42,536 --> 00:12:43,603 Well, someone has to. 354 00:12:43,671 --> 00:12:44,871 I got two colombians at home 355 00:12:44,939 --> 00:12:47,007 Trying to turn christmas into cinco de mayo. 356 00:12:47,074 --> 00:12:49,175 You know that's mexican, right? 357 00:12:49,243 --> 00:12:50,744 Ah, burrito, bur-right-o. 358 00:12:50,811 --> 00:12:52,479 Christmas should be christmas. 359 00:12:52,546 --> 00:12:55,782 Picture on the stairs, hot chocolate, opening the presents. 360 00:12:55,850 --> 00:12:57,384 That was supposed to be the good thing 361 00:12:57,451 --> 00:12:58,985 About having a kid in the house again. 362 00:12:59,053 --> 00:13:00,887 I can have christmas the way we used to. 363 00:13:00,955 --> 00:13:02,956 I hear you, jay. If I was home right now, 364 00:13:03,024 --> 00:13:04,858 I'd be mixing up a bathtub full of eggnog 365 00:13:04,925 --> 00:13:06,926 And trying to squeeze a greased hog into a santa hat. 366 00:13:06,994 --> 00:13:08,061 You don't think I miss that? 367 00:13:08,129 --> 00:13:10,297 Do you? 368 00:13:11,899 --> 00:13:16,002 The point is that those are memories that I'll always have, 369 00:13:16,070 --> 00:13:18,371 But now I have the perfect opportunity 370 00:13:18,439 --> 00:13:20,140 To create new memories with my new family 371 00:13:20,207 --> 00:13:21,941 That are gonna be just as special someday. 372 00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:23,209 Aww. 373 00:13:23,277 --> 00:13:24,678 Cam's right. 374 00:13:24,745 --> 00:13:26,780 We create new traditions every year. 375 00:13:26,847 --> 00:13:29,749 So...Who's ready to try the swing? 376 00:13:35,723 --> 00:13:37,824 'cause jay wants to eat at 3:00. 377 00:13:37,892 --> 00:13:39,893 Ay, manny. 378 00:13:39,961 --> 00:13:41,828 Did you put this spider in the fridge? 379 00:13:41,896 --> 00:13:43,730 Oh, yeah. Inocente. 380 00:13:43,798 --> 00:13:45,966 Oh, papi, what's wrong? 381 00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:48,435 I want to have christmas like they do in colombia. 382 00:13:48,503 --> 00:13:49,970 Jay is messing everything up. 383 00:13:50,037 --> 00:13:51,738 Manny, try to understand. 384 00:13:51,806 --> 00:13:55,375 Jay has great memories with his kids when they were young. 385 00:13:55,443 --> 00:13:57,777 And he just wants to re-create them with you. 386 00:13:57,845 --> 00:14:00,847 So, maybe the best gift I could give jay 387 00:14:00,915 --> 00:14:03,583 Would be christmas like he used to have it? 388 00:14:03,651 --> 00:14:05,852 You're such a beautiful boy. 389 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:07,888 One day, you're gonna grow up and I'm gonna miss 390 00:14:07,955 --> 00:14:10,123 All the things that you used to do as a little boy. 391 00:14:10,191 --> 00:14:12,659 Okay, but if this so-called santa claus 392 00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:15,328 Doesn't bring me a burgundy dinner jacket, 393 00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:17,464 We're going to have a big problem. 394 00:14:19,467 --> 00:14:20,500 Honey? 395 00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:23,103 Hmm? 396 00:14:23,171 --> 00:14:25,405 Would it really be so bad to back down? 397 00:14:25,473 --> 00:14:28,008 And have the kids never take any of our threats seriously again? 398 00:14:28,075 --> 00:14:29,876 Yeah. Mm. 399 00:14:32,446 --> 00:14:35,782 Or the kids could realize 400 00:14:35,850 --> 00:14:37,884 That we're making a supreme sacrifice 401 00:14:37,952 --> 00:14:41,121 By giving up our power to save their christmas. 402 00:14:41,189 --> 00:14:43,323 Which would, in a way, be the greatest gift 403 00:14:43,391 --> 00:14:44,824 That we could ever give them. 404 00:14:44,892 --> 00:14:47,694 And which would paradoxically make them respect us even more. 405 00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:49,696 Mm... Okay, forget that. Go back one. 406 00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:51,164 Hey, guys. 407 00:14:53,134 --> 00:14:54,467 It was me. 408 00:14:54,535 --> 00:14:55,902 What? What? 409 00:14:58,005 --> 00:14:59,839 I found a cigarette at school, 410 00:14:59,907 --> 00:15:04,578 And when no one was home, I...I tried it, 411 00:15:04,645 --> 00:15:09,216 And...I-I guess I held it too close to the couch. 412 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:11,351 I'm so sorry. 413 00:15:11,419 --> 00:15:13,320 You can take my christmas away, 414 00:15:13,387 --> 00:15:15,622 But don't take it from everyone else. 415 00:15:15,690 --> 00:15:18,758 That is very noble of you to care about the family, 416 00:15:18,826 --> 00:15:20,694 But you still smoked and lied. 417 00:15:20,761 --> 00:15:22,262 That's really bad. 418 00:15:22,330 --> 00:15:24,097 Now help me grab the tree. 419 00:15:24,165 --> 00:15:25,031 Phil. 420 00:15:25,099 --> 00:15:26,166 Claire: Phil. 421 00:15:26,234 --> 00:15:28,001 Alex, come on back. 422 00:15:31,539 --> 00:15:32,806 Starting December 26th, 423 00:15:32,873 --> 00:15:34,674 You are grounded for a full week, 424 00:15:34,742 --> 00:15:36,543 And that includes new year's eve. 425 00:15:36,611 --> 00:15:38,378 But I was g-- no, nonnegotiable, so... 426 00:15:38,446 --> 00:15:39,546 Phil: Mm. Yeah. 427 00:15:39,614 --> 00:15:41,481 Fine. 428 00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:44,150 Everybody! 429 00:15:44,218 --> 00:15:45,452 It's official! 430 00:15:45,519 --> 00:15:47,487 Christmas is back on! 431 00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:48,688 It is? What happened? 432 00:15:48,756 --> 00:15:49,889 Doesn't matter! 433 00:15:49,957 --> 00:15:51,658 Stockings, lights, ornaments, wreath! 434 00:15:51,726 --> 00:15:52,726 Go, go, go! 435 00:15:52,793 --> 00:15:53,893 Okay! 436 00:15:53,961 --> 00:15:57,664 Um, that sounds like a stressful job to me. 437 00:15:57,732 --> 00:15:59,199 Mm, not as much as you'd think. 438 00:15:59,267 --> 00:16:01,234 They always made sure one of us had a blank, 439 00:16:01,302 --> 00:16:02,902 So nobody knew who took the fatal shot. 440 00:16:04,171 --> 00:16:05,372 This was mighty tasty. 441 00:16:05,439 --> 00:16:07,474 Well, I don't want to overstay my welcome 442 00:16:07,541 --> 00:16:08,975 Or you won't have me back. 443 00:16:09,043 --> 00:16:10,210 [ laughs ] [ chuckles nervously ] 444 00:16:10,278 --> 00:16:11,711 You guys enjoy the rest of your night. 445 00:16:11,779 --> 00:16:13,213 You're good people. 446 00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:16,950 Scott, wait. 447 00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:18,985 Wait. 448 00:16:19,053 --> 00:16:20,720 Don't forget your laundry. 449 00:16:20,788 --> 00:16:23,456 Oh, thanks. Thanks, thanks, thanks. Merry christmas. 450 00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:24,891 [ carolers' song plays ] 451 00:16:24,959 --> 00:16:26,159 Scott, merry christmas to -- to you, too, and happy -- 452 00:16:26,227 --> 00:16:27,627 Son of a bitch! What? 453 00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:29,062 Oh, it's the new greensleevers. 454 00:16:29,130 --> 00:16:30,797 They're cameron's old caroling group. 455 00:16:30,865 --> 00:16:32,198 They kicked him out this year. 456 00:16:32,266 --> 00:16:35,068 I mean, it is one thing to kick me out of the group, 457 00:16:35,136 --> 00:16:37,003 But to -- to rub my nose in it? 458 00:16:37,071 --> 00:16:38,238 I'm turning on the sprinklers. 459 00:16:38,306 --> 00:16:39,673 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 460 00:16:39,740 --> 00:16:43,677 I know it feels good to get even, belve me. 461 00:16:43,744 --> 00:16:47,147 To see the fear in a man's eyes is... 462 00:16:47,214 --> 00:16:51,751 But there's something that feels even better... 463 00:16:53,954 --> 00:16:54,954 ...Forgiveness. 464 00:16:55,022 --> 00:16:56,556 Scott, you don't understand. 465 00:16:56,624 --> 00:16:58,591 This -- this group was my "dreamgirls." 466 00:16:58,659 --> 00:17:00,026 I was effie. 467 00:17:00,094 --> 00:17:03,697 Do you know what the best thing I did all day was? 468 00:17:03,764 --> 00:17:05,765 Forgiving you for getting me fir. 469 00:17:07,435 --> 00:17:09,135 Um... 470 00:17:09,203 --> 00:17:11,304 [ carolers' song plays ] 471 00:17:21,449 --> 00:17:22,682 Andrew. 472 00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,417 Ensemble. 473 00:17:24,485 --> 00:17:27,654 I know it's no accident 474 00:17:27,722 --> 00:17:30,423 That you're here on my street tonight. 475 00:17:30,491 --> 00:17:33,059 And I... 476 00:17:33,127 --> 00:17:37,430 I just wanted to say to you all that you sound great. 477 00:17:37,498 --> 00:17:40,567 And...Merry christmas. 478 00:17:40,634 --> 00:17:42,369 Wow. 479 00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:44,404 Even your apology is off-key. 480 00:17:44,472 --> 00:17:46,139 Not cool, buddy. 481 00:17:46,207 --> 00:17:47,841 Ooh! Ooh! 482 00:17:51,379 --> 00:17:54,080 But -- but -- but what about -- what about forgiveness? 483 00:17:54,148 --> 00:17:56,249 You were nice. He was naughty. 484 00:18:01,722 --> 00:18:03,523 Where were you for so long? 485 00:18:03,591 --> 00:18:04,891 Just a little last-minute shopping. 486 00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:06,326 What's this? 487 00:18:06,394 --> 00:18:07,427 Buñuelos. 488 00:18:07,495 --> 00:18:09,396 Who? What? Cheese fritters. 489 00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:11,431 It's a colombian traditional christmas food. 490 00:18:11,499 --> 00:18:12,866 Okay, new rule. 491 00:18:12,933 --> 00:18:16,069 From now on, we do colombian things when we're in colombia. 492 00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:18,571 We do american things when we're in america. 493 00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:21,541 That means no more of your food, no more of your music, 494 00:18:21,609 --> 00:18:24,244 And especially no more of your crazy holidays! 495 00:18:27,348 --> 00:18:28,748 Inocente! 496 00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:30,950 Jay! What? Did I say it wrong? 497 00:18:31,018 --> 00:18:32,685 You two are total inocentes. 498 00:18:32,753 --> 00:18:34,354 You should see the look on your faces. 499 00:18:34,422 --> 00:18:36,823 And by the way, you know how hard it is to get fireworks 500 00:18:36,891 --> 00:18:38,324 On christmas eve? 501 00:18:38,392 --> 00:18:40,860 [ laughs ] go, manny. 502 00:18:40,928 --> 00:18:42,429 Thank you. [ laughs ] 503 00:18:43,003 --> 00:18:47,370 And here's another one for luke. looks like a book. 504 00:18:47,338 --> 00:18:49,472 I have a book already. 505 00:18:49,540 --> 00:18:50,707 What is that? 506 00:18:50,775 --> 00:18:53,076 Oh, my god. The couch is smoking. 507 00:18:53,144 --> 00:18:55,478 Whoa. Whoa. Whoa-ho-ho. 508 00:18:58,215 --> 00:18:59,516 It's sunlight. 509 00:18:59,583 --> 00:19:01,418 It's the ornament. 510 00:19:01,485 --> 00:19:02,585 Luke: Cool. 511 00:19:02,653 --> 00:19:03,853 It's like a magnifying glass. 512 00:19:03,921 --> 00:19:06,322 Hey, how weird is that? 513 00:19:06,390 --> 00:19:08,324 It's burning a hole in the exact same spot 514 00:19:08,392 --> 00:19:10,060 That alex was smoking in. 515 00:19:10,127 --> 00:19:11,761 Oh, haley. 516 00:19:11,829 --> 00:19:14,197 Alex, why'd you take the blame? 517 00:19:14,265 --> 00:19:17,067 I didn't want to lose christmas. 518 00:19:17,134 --> 00:19:20,103 That is so stinking beautul. 519 00:19:21,138 --> 00:19:22,405 Get in here. 520 00:19:22,406 --> 00:19:23,373 No. Yes. 521 00:19:23,441 --> 00:19:24,674 Oh, no. Yes.In here. 522 00:19:24,742 --> 00:19:25,909 Oh, yeah! 523 00:19:25,976 --> 00:19:26,910 Bear hug! 524 00:19:26,977 --> 00:19:29,179 [ laughter ] 525 00:19:29,246 --> 00:19:31,214 You were going to take christmas away 526 00:19:31,282 --> 00:19:32,816 For something that none of us did. 527 00:19:32,883 --> 00:19:34,284 Well, um... 528 00:19:34,351 --> 00:19:37,220 Christmas is about moving forward. 529 00:19:37,288 --> 00:19:38,588 I've never heard that. 530 00:19:38,656 --> 00:19:40,090 Actually, honey, you did kind of shoot your mouth off. 531 00:19:40,157 --> 00:19:41,691 You called us all liars. 532 00:19:41,759 --> 00:19:43,793 Yeah, and then you took away the biggest holiday... 533 00:19:43,861 --> 00:19:45,161 Yeah, you did. I don't know. 534 00:19:45,229 --> 00:19:47,263 Let's -- let's not all get worked up. 535 00:19:47,331 --> 00:19:49,532 I made a mistake. 536 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:50,867 I made a mistake. 537 00:19:50,935 --> 00:19:54,104 And people make mistakes. 538 00:19:54,171 --> 00:19:58,374 And they make up for those mistakes... 539 00:19:58,442 --> 00:19:59,742 Mm-hmm. 540 00:19:59,810 --> 00:20:04,581 ...By taking their family to Italy! 541 00:20:04,648 --> 00:20:05,949 Haley: Oh, my god! 542 00:20:06,016 --> 00:20:06,950 Yeah! 543 00:20:07,017 --> 00:20:09,652 Yeah! 544 00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:11,387 Yeah! Aah! 545 00:20:15,826 --> 00:20:19,596 Jay: We talk a lot about tradition this time of year. 546 00:20:19,663 --> 00:20:22,232 But as much as we love our traditions, 547 00:20:22,299 --> 00:20:23,666 Sometimes our best memories 548 00:20:23,734 --> 00:20:27,537 Come from the times that are the most untraditional. 549 00:20:31,442 --> 00:20:35,078 We remember the year mom and dad went crazy. 550 00:20:35,146 --> 00:20:39,415 We remember the year santa punched out the caroler. 551 00:20:41,485 --> 00:20:46,256 But for me, this was the year that the word "tradition" 552 00:20:46,323 --> 00:20:48,024 Got a lot bigger. 553 00:20:57,134 --> 00:20:59,769 [ "silent night" plays ] 554 00:20:59,837 --> 00:21:01,337 Jay: There's cam. 555 00:21:01,405 --> 00:21:03,740 Manny: [ laughs ] 556 00:21:03,741 --> 00:21:12,741 Sync by honeybunny www.addid7ed.com 557 00:21:17,421 --> 00:21:19,923 Aah! Oh, you did it again. 558 00:21:19,990 --> 00:21:21,925 You got me again. [ laughs ]