1
00:00:02,629 --> 00:00:04,629
Let's go, buddy. School time.
2
00:00:04,783 --> 00:00:07,592
Gloria, if you want to get together
with the girls later,
3
00:00:07,717 --> 00:00:10,259
I could just watch the football game
or something.
4
00:00:10,427 --> 00:00:14,277
- That means he wants to watch the game.
- I'm not talking to you.
5
00:00:14,812 --> 00:00:17,088
And what are you drinking
coffee for, anyway?
6
00:00:17,213 --> 00:00:18,893
It's my culture. I'm Colombian.
7
00:00:20,018 --> 00:00:23,041
What part of Colombia are those
French toaster sticks from?
8
00:00:23,166 --> 00:00:26,765
I'm not sure about the game. The whole
family is coming over for the barbecue.
9
00:00:26,890 --> 00:00:28,441
- It's today?
- Sí.
10
00:00:29,470 --> 00:00:32,476
- It's the Ohio State game.
- So, everybody can watch.
11
00:00:32,601 --> 00:00:35,993
I dislike watching the game with people
who don't know the game. People talk.
12
00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:39,219
- You talk at my football games.
- For one thing, it's called soccer.
13
00:00:39,344 --> 00:00:42,916
Your team's scored two goals all season.
I'm not taking a big risk.
14
00:00:44,470 --> 00:00:47,097
- How much of this did you drink?
- Give me a break.
15
00:00:47,222 --> 00:00:49,293
I have to climb a rope today.
16
00:00:51,211 --> 00:00:52,161
Hey, mom?
17
00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:55,304
Can I have $40 for lunch?
18
00:00:56,129 --> 00:00:56,929
$40?
19
00:00:57,266 --> 00:01:00,059
- I also need a book for school.
- What book?
20
00:01:01,306 --> 00:01:02,556
I want a dress.
21
00:01:02,869 --> 00:01:05,064
Do you have any idea
what a bad liar you are?
22
00:01:05,628 --> 00:01:08,950
I'd be more worried that she couldn't
come up with a single book title.
23
00:01:09,075 --> 00:01:10,875
Luke, come on, we're late!
24
00:01:12,121 --> 00:01:14,197
There's a first...
Inside out and backwards.
25
00:01:14,379 --> 00:01:16,679
At least it isn't zipped into his...
26
00:01:17,346 --> 00:01:18,367
There it is.
27
00:01:18,492 --> 00:01:21,312
There's book smart,
and then there's street smart.
28
00:01:21,437 --> 00:01:22,997
Yeah, and then there's Luke.
29
00:01:23,122 --> 00:01:25,862
He's just curious, that's all.
30
00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:29,360
He's got this almost scientific mind
31
00:01:29,485 --> 00:01:32,149
with a thirst for knowledge.
32
00:01:32,628 --> 00:01:34,844
He's like this little Einstein.
33
00:01:35,156 --> 00:01:37,680
Some people ask "why?"
34
00:01:38,007 --> 00:01:40,871
Luke asks, "why not?"
35
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,502
I ask "why" a lot.
36
00:01:45,557 --> 00:01:47,080
We're at the 10...
37
00:01:47,317 --> 00:01:48,730
We're at the 5...
38
00:01:48,855 --> 00:01:51,403
We're at the 1...
Daddy, we're scoring a touchdown!
39
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,428
Please don't spike our baby.
40
00:01:54,512 --> 00:01:57,742
- Why does she look like the Hamburglar?
- She's a referee.
41
00:01:57,867 --> 00:02:00,110
Do we even
have to go to my dad's tonight?
42
00:02:00,235 --> 00:02:02,719
Are you kidding me?
We're playing Ohio State.
43
00:02:02,916 --> 00:02:06,920
I collect antique fountain pens, I'm
adept at Japanese flower arrangement...
44
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:08,261
Ikebana.
45
00:02:08,677 --> 00:02:12,364
And I was a starting offensive lineman
at the University of Illinois.
46
00:02:12,489 --> 00:02:13,466
Surprise!
47
00:02:13,740 --> 00:02:15,166
I don't like football.
48
00:02:15,291 --> 00:02:19,204
Being in a relationship is pretending
to enjoy your partner's interests.
49
00:02:19,329 --> 00:02:22,183
Do you think I really loved
home pickle making?
50
00:02:22,674 --> 00:02:24,578
- Yeah, 'cause you did.
- For a week,
51
00:02:24,703 --> 00:02:27,173
until we became the weird guys
who gave everybody pickles.
52
00:02:27,298 --> 00:02:29,773
"Thank you, Marvin,
for inviting us into your lovely home.
53
00:02:29,943 --> 00:02:32,777
- "Care for a sack of pickles?"
- It was charming.
54
00:02:32,979 --> 00:02:34,361
We were picklers.
55
00:02:35,167 --> 00:02:37,873
You know what? Fine. Stay home
with your little jagged scissors,
56
00:02:37,998 --> 00:02:40,002
maybe catch up on your scrapbooking.
57
00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:41,493
You loved scrapbooking!
58
00:02:41,663 --> 00:02:42,963
Did I, Mitchell?
59
00:02:43,357 --> 00:02:44,157
Did I?
60
00:02:44,428 --> 00:02:47,541
Don't do the "double question
to prove a point" thing. I hate it.
61
00:02:47,974 --> 00:02:49,151
Do you, Mitchell?
62
00:02:49,276 --> 00:02:50,126
Do you?
63
00:02:52,361 --> 00:02:54,567
Subtitles by Tyno & Kevin
64
00:02:54,692 --> 00:02:56,717
www.seriessub.com
www.sous-titres.eu
65
00:03:06,502 --> 00:03:09,052
No problem.
We'll be right down. Thanks.
66
00:03:14,818 --> 00:03:16,403
Hey, honey. What's up?
67
00:03:16,528 --> 00:03:19,335
The school just called.
Luke got in a fight.
68
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:21,060
Oh, geez. Is he okay?
69
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:24,266
Yeah, he's fine, but they
want us to come down there.
70
00:03:24,391 --> 00:03:26,646
- Where are you?
- I'm showing a house.
71
00:03:26,771 --> 00:03:27,821
What house?
72
00:03:29,948 --> 00:03:31,048
I'm golfing.
73
00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:38,199
- I bet it was that Durkas kid.
- I hate that kid.
74
00:03:38,324 --> 00:03:40,905
He probably jumped on Luke,
and Luke just fought back.
75
00:03:41,030 --> 00:03:43,416
- Kid's a menace.
- He made fun of my hair once.
76
00:03:43,541 --> 00:03:45,340
Shh, the parents are probably
in there.
77
00:03:45,465 --> 00:03:47,991
I slept on it funny...
Like that never happened to him.
78
00:03:48,116 --> 00:03:49,016
Come on.
79
00:03:51,275 --> 00:03:54,024
- What are you doing here?
- These two knuckleheads were fighting.
80
00:03:54,316 --> 00:03:56,318
- What?!
- Could have been worse.
81
00:03:56,642 --> 00:03:58,946
I was not ready
to face Durkas today.
82
00:04:00,210 --> 00:04:01,472
So, what happened?
83
00:04:01,597 --> 00:04:04,641
Apparently, there was some name-calling
and shoving on the playground.
84
00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:08,539
By the time a teacher separated them,
Luke was sitting on Manny's chest.
85
00:04:08,786 --> 00:04:11,791
- Luke, that's not like you.
- Wait a minute. You're Luke's father?
86
00:04:12,030 --> 00:04:14,044
- Grandfather.
- So Manny's father is...
87
00:04:15,153 --> 00:04:16,003
Javier.
88
00:04:16,218 --> 00:04:19,091
Crazy guy.
That's where he gets his fire.
89
00:04:19,383 --> 00:04:21,286
- Okay, you're...
- He's our son.
90
00:04:21,411 --> 00:04:23,429
- And my grandson.
- I'm his daughter.
91
00:04:23,740 --> 00:04:25,515
- So, you're...
- His uncle.
92
00:04:25,744 --> 00:04:28,396
Stop saying that,
or I'll sit on your chest again!
93
00:04:28,521 --> 00:04:30,711
Wait a second.
Is that what this was all about?
94
00:04:30,836 --> 00:04:32,959
- He keeps calling me his nephew.
- You are!
95
00:04:33,084 --> 00:04:33,984
Shut up!
96
00:04:35,132 --> 00:04:38,532
I'm getting the sense that
you're all related... somehow.
97
00:04:38,769 --> 00:04:42,323
It's best if you work this out at home
so the boys can go back to class, okay?
98
00:04:43,322 --> 00:04:47,326
But we're not happy about this, boys.
This is not how mature young men behave.
99
00:04:48,137 --> 00:04:50,437
Here's your note for Miss Passwater.
100
00:04:54,445 --> 00:04:55,534
I wouldn't worry.
101
00:04:55,659 --> 00:04:58,422
They're good kids. It's just tough
when one kid's a little different.
102
00:05:02,089 --> 00:05:04,196
You heard how she said that, right?
103
00:05:05,492 --> 00:05:07,742
She thought Luke was the weird one.
104
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:10,643
Her kid gets his head stuck
in the furniture,
105
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,239
and Manny is the different one.
106
00:05:12,522 --> 00:05:14,259
Our son is not weird.
107
00:05:14,384 --> 00:05:17,274
What's weird is that her kid wears
aftershave and dresses like a count.
108
00:05:17,582 --> 00:05:19,610
We should cancel
with them for the barbecue.
109
00:05:19,893 --> 00:05:22,705
If we cancel, it'll just make this
a bigger deal than it is.
110
00:05:22,830 --> 00:05:25,980
It'll be good for Luke and Manny
to spend some time.
111
00:05:26,632 --> 00:05:29,036
- Might be good for you and Gloria, too.
- Why?
112
00:05:29,322 --> 00:05:31,622
She's always had a problem with me.
113
00:05:32,389 --> 00:05:35,555
- I think I'm gonna find out what it is.
- That's the worst thing you could do.
114
00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:37,502
Just sweep it under the rug.
115
00:05:37,627 --> 00:05:39,546
- I'm not a sweeper.
- Trust me on this.
116
00:05:39,847 --> 00:05:41,813
I think you two need to talk it out.
117
00:05:41,938 --> 00:05:45,343
I don't have anything to say to her.
She's the one with the problem, not me.
118
00:05:45,514 --> 00:05:47,956
- Whose side are you on?
- She's my daughter.
119
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:49,331
You're my wife.
120
00:05:49,456 --> 00:05:51,820
Let's remember
what's important here...
121
00:05:51,945 --> 00:05:53,560
There's a football game on.
122
00:05:53,817 --> 00:05:57,067
I just hate it when my two girls
aren't getting along.
123
00:05:57,598 --> 00:05:59,548
How exactly is she your girl?
125
00:06:03,416 --> 00:06:05,697
I got a few things for the party.
Is Lily ready to go?
126
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,283
Yeah, she's ready.
127
00:06:09,406 --> 00:06:10,556
What's wrong?
128
00:06:10,823 --> 00:06:14,353
I'm just really worried about
CJ Hightower, with the bad ankle.
129
00:06:14,478 --> 00:06:16,673
I don't know how he's gonna run
his corner routes.
130
00:06:16,798 --> 00:06:18,848
What did my boyfriend just say?
131
00:06:19,006 --> 00:06:21,744
Listen, I heard what you said,
and I thought,
132
00:06:21,869 --> 00:06:24,668
yes, I should try
to learn more about football.
133
00:06:24,793 --> 00:06:26,634
That is very mature of you.
134
00:06:26,983 --> 00:06:30,041
I figure if football fans can learn it,
how hard can it be?
135
00:06:30,166 --> 00:06:32,094
That's very elitist of you.
136
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:36,414
I'm taking baby steps here, all right?
I'm actually looking forward to it.
137
00:06:36,539 --> 00:06:39,326
'Cause it's not just the game.
It's the bands
138
00:06:39,451 --> 00:06:41,786
and the drama
and the... the pageantry...
139
00:06:41,911 --> 00:06:44,542
- Don't forget about the team mascots.
- They wear ascots?
140
00:06:44,667 --> 00:06:46,517
No, "mascots," with an "m."
141
00:06:47,015 --> 00:06:49,515
That could have been
very embarrassing.
142
00:06:50,841 --> 00:06:52,041
Am I straight?
143
00:06:54,282 --> 00:06:56,682
I am not sure what you are
right now.
144
00:06:59,218 --> 00:07:01,218
How you doing?
Hi, beautiful.
145
00:07:01,727 --> 00:07:03,027
Good to see you.
146
00:07:03,179 --> 00:07:05,829
- Let me guess. Game's on?
- Just started.
147
00:07:06,746 --> 00:07:07,646
For you.
148
00:07:07,997 --> 00:07:09,761
It's nice to see you, Gloria.
149
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,137
Two times today.
150
00:07:13,518 --> 00:07:15,823
She means we've seen them
two times today.
151
00:07:15,948 --> 00:07:19,021
Everybody, the food's in there, the
drinks are in there, I'll be in here.
152
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:20,550
Hold on, Jay.
153
00:07:20,930 --> 00:07:23,150
I think we should address
the elephant in the room.
154
00:07:25,796 --> 00:07:26,896
Bring it in.
155
00:07:28,436 --> 00:07:30,436
Come on. Huddle up.
Football.
156
00:07:31,735 --> 00:07:34,642
Now, in light of
what happened at school today,
157
00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:38,207
if you have any feelings you'd like
to express, this is the proper forum.
158
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,875
For God's sake.
All right, both of you.
159
00:07:41,314 --> 00:07:44,253
Now, in this family,
do we kick and punch each other,
160
00:07:44,378 --> 00:07:46,712
- or do we love each other?
- Love each other.
161
00:07:46,837 --> 00:07:49,037
That's right.
I'll be in the den.
162
00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:54,785
I brought dessert.
163
00:07:56,318 --> 00:07:57,318
Thank you.
164
00:07:57,633 --> 00:07:58,933
I make pie, too.
165
00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:03,740
You can never have
too many pies, right?
166
00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:08,180
Everybody, take a deep breath.
Let's think about getting real.
167
00:08:08,305 --> 00:08:10,507
- Phil, no.
- Why "Phil, no"?
168
00:08:11,121 --> 00:08:13,369
- What is Phil doing?
- I'm just gonna say it...
169
00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:16,250
There's tension between you two.
Bam! It's out there.
170
00:08:16,375 --> 00:08:17,762
I'm gonna kill you.
171
00:08:17,887 --> 00:08:20,749
I think he's right.
And I think we should talk about it.
172
00:08:21,039 --> 00:08:23,290
That's what I'm talkin' 'bout...
173
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,290
You two talking...
174
00:08:26,938 --> 00:08:27,888
'bout it.
175
00:08:32,283 --> 00:08:33,583
I like football.
176
00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:34,885
Haley hates it.
177
00:08:35,192 --> 00:08:38,687
Which is weird because it's all boys,
and there's no reading required.
178
00:08:39,116 --> 00:08:41,527
Do you know that she spends
at least 45 minutes
179
00:08:41,652 --> 00:08:44,479
every morning doing her hair?
And then, sometimes, she...
180
00:08:44,704 --> 00:08:46,567
Let's go, Illini!
181
00:08:46,784 --> 00:08:48,429
Let's go, right now!
182
00:08:48,554 --> 00:08:50,946
Oh, looks like I got to watch
the game with Dick Butkus.
183
00:08:51,278 --> 00:08:53,012
Dad! Come on, that's offensive.
184
00:08:53,137 --> 00:08:55,960
He's one of the greatest linebackers
to ever play at Illinois,
185
00:08:56,085 --> 00:08:57,744
and one of my personal heroes.
186
00:08:57,912 --> 00:08:59,662
And his name is "Butkus"?
187
00:08:59,814 --> 00:09:01,732
Really, and we're just
choosing to...
188
00:09:01,857 --> 00:09:05,117
Okay. All right. I thought
you were being homophobic. Sorry.
189
00:09:05,242 --> 00:09:07,442
- We got all night.
- Yes, we do.
190
00:09:07,567 --> 00:09:08,986
Are you joing us here?
191
00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:11,241
Jay, you know what?
He's been studying up.
192
00:09:11,366 --> 00:09:15,016
I got to tell you, I am a little worried
about CJ Hightower, with the bad ankle.
193
00:09:15,141 --> 00:09:17,284
I'm wondering how he's gonna
run his corner routes.
194
00:09:17,409 --> 00:09:19,259
- Hightower's out.
- What?
195
00:09:20,096 --> 00:09:23,562
- Who is gonna run the corner routes?
- I'll tell you who won't be. Billings.
196
00:09:24,298 --> 00:09:26,023
That's low. He's in jail.
197
00:09:27,226 --> 00:09:28,400
Yeah, I dunno.
198
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,899
Double tight end.
It's gonna be a quarterback roll-out...
199
00:09:31,024 --> 00:09:34,381
- They're gonna run it.
- He's got the slot, and the end zone!
200
00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:36,808
- Touchdown!
- Lucky call!
201
00:09:36,933 --> 00:09:40,200
- They should have considered blitzing.
- Blitzing wouldn't have helped them.
202
00:09:40,325 --> 00:09:42,375
- Get out of here.
- Oh, gosh.
203
00:09:42,956 --> 00:09:43,956
Blitzing.
204
00:09:44,769 --> 00:09:48,472
So, my interest in football
ended as suddenly and dramatically
205
00:09:48,597 --> 00:09:50,808
as the climax of "West Side Story."
206
00:09:50,933 --> 00:09:52,733
I'm a musical-theater fan.
207
00:09:53,180 --> 00:09:54,130
Surprise!
208
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:57,437
Okay, the truth?
209
00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:59,723
I sometimes feel like
you don't like me.
210
00:10:01,785 --> 00:10:03,585
Powerful, powerful stuff.
211
00:10:04,639 --> 00:10:08,150
- Claire, tell us how it makes you feel.
- Right now, I'm feeling a lot of anger.
212
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:10,080
Don't tell me, tell her.
213
00:10:10,524 --> 00:10:13,695
- Gloria, I'm really angry at Phil.
- Let's respect the process.
214
00:10:16,519 --> 00:10:19,116
Gloria, I don't know why
you think I don't like you.
215
00:10:19,392 --> 00:10:21,807
Well, sometimes when you see me,
you make that face.
216
00:10:21,932 --> 00:10:23,732
- What face?
- Like this.
217
00:10:23,951 --> 00:10:26,667
- I do not make a face like that.
- That is so Claire.
218
00:10:27,159 --> 00:10:29,663
See? She does that with everyone.
219
00:10:30,194 --> 00:10:33,294
- It's just her face.
- No, it's not just the face.
220
00:10:33,507 --> 00:10:36,717
From the beginning, I feel like Manny
and I are not welcome in this family.
221
00:10:36,944 --> 00:10:38,158
That is so crazy!
222
00:10:38,509 --> 00:10:41,009
No, it's not so crazy.
It's how I feel.
223
00:10:45,124 --> 00:10:47,270
I am sorry if you feel that way.
224
00:10:47,567 --> 00:10:50,524
I really am.
Because from the moment I met you,
225
00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:53,944
I have tried to make you feel
comfortable with us.
226
00:10:55,307 --> 00:10:57,307
You think it's all in my head?
227
00:10:57,685 --> 00:10:59,785
Kind... I don't know.
I mean...
228
00:11:00,309 --> 00:11:02,535
We really love having you
and Manny in our family.
229
00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:03,986
- Really?
- Really.
230
00:11:04,111 --> 00:11:06,373
So... you don't have to be
so defensive.
231
00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:09,143
I do that, don't I?
232
00:11:09,268 --> 00:11:10,918
A little. A little bit.
233
00:11:11,623 --> 00:11:13,023
I'm feeling a hug.
234
00:11:15,044 --> 00:11:17,691
I was thinking group hug,
but this is nice.
235
00:11:17,816 --> 00:11:20,815
I'd be there if I could...
Oh, my God, there's hugging.
236
00:11:20,940 --> 00:11:22,312
Get off the phone already.
237
00:11:22,437 --> 00:11:24,685
- Where did you go?
- You heard him.
238
00:11:24,810 --> 00:11:27,351
- He said, "get out of here."
- You're such a girl.
239
00:11:27,624 --> 00:11:30,574
Dad, loo... I was coming
to get a beer, anyways.
240
00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:32,741
- Nice apology.
- Nice beer.
241
00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:36,309
There's our little roustabouts!
242
00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:39,532
You look like you patched things
up pretty good, huh?
243
00:11:40,524 --> 00:11:42,988
We can learn so much
from the children.
244
00:11:43,113 --> 00:11:45,703
I bet it seems kind of silly now
what you were fighting about.
245
00:11:45,992 --> 00:11:48,642
- I made fun of his accent.
- What accent?
246
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:52,836
I made fun of him for having the
same thing for lunch every day.
247
00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:55,589
I made fun of him because
his mom used to dig coal.
248
00:11:56,773 --> 00:11:57,591
What?
249
00:11:57,857 --> 00:12:01,553
- He said you were a coal digger.
- Okay, I think we can move on!
250
00:12:02,012 --> 00:12:05,291
- Who said I was a coal digger?
- That's what my mom told me.
251
00:12:05,416 --> 00:12:08,602
- What's a coal digger?
- He heard it wrong. It's "gold digger."
252
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:10,618
I'm gonna have to call you back.
253
00:12:10,743 --> 00:12:13,523
I really do not think that
I remember ever saying that.
254
00:12:14,127 --> 00:12:16,061
Well, you said it in the car,
255
00:12:16,186 --> 00:12:18,990
you said it at Christmas,
you said it in the Mexican restaurant...
256
00:12:19,115 --> 00:12:21,626
Okay, Mr. "Leaves his sweatshirts
at school every day"
257
00:12:21,751 --> 00:12:24,251
suddenly remembers everything.
Thank you.
258
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,803
And it was all in my head, huh?
259
00:12:26,928 --> 00:12:30,456
Listen, Gloria,
it was like a year ago before...
260
00:12:31,058 --> 00:12:32,853
- I knew you...
- Nice going.
261
00:12:32,978 --> 00:12:35,428
Now my mom
and my sister are fighting.
263
00:12:36,991 --> 00:12:40,856
If I say something everybody's thinking,
does that make me a mean person?
264
00:12:40,981 --> 00:12:44,068
Or... does it make me
a brave person?
265
00:12:44,775 --> 00:12:48,774
One who is courageous enough
to stand up and say something...
266
00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:52,126
Behind someone's back to...
a 10-year old?
267
00:12:54,935 --> 00:12:56,358
Well, she's pissed.
268
00:12:56,899 --> 00:12:59,236
She wouldn't even
come out of her room.
269
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:02,430
Did you really have to call her that?
A gold digger.
270
00:13:02,641 --> 00:13:04,680
You know what, dad?
It was a year ago.
271
00:13:04,805 --> 00:13:07,299
And it was a natural question
to ask.
272
00:13:07,424 --> 00:13:10,070
She's a beautiful, hot woman,
273
00:13:10,491 --> 00:13:12,290
and you're not exactly...
You know.
274
00:13:13,628 --> 00:13:14,978
Not exactly what?
275
00:13:16,565 --> 00:13:19,669
- Mitchell, a little help?
- No, you are doing great.
276
00:13:19,929 --> 00:13:22,716
See, this is exactly why
we sweep things under the rug.
277
00:13:22,991 --> 00:13:24,488
So people don't get hurt.
278
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:27,931
Until you sweep too much under the rug.
Then you got a lumpy rug.
279
00:13:28,357 --> 00:13:31,990
It creates a tripping hazard.
You open yourself up to lawsuits.
280
00:13:32,115 --> 00:13:35,265
Boy, you can go a really
long time without blinking.
281
00:13:42,413 --> 00:13:43,413
It's Phil.
282
00:13:45,409 --> 00:13:47,471
Can I talk to you for a second?
283
00:13:47,596 --> 00:13:50,273
Claire likes to say,
you can be part of the problem
284
00:13:50,398 --> 00:13:52,098
or part of the solution.
285
00:13:52,459 --> 00:13:55,359
Well, I happen to believe
that you can be both.
286
00:13:56,339 --> 00:13:58,922
Listen, Claire feels terrible.
287
00:13:59,909 --> 00:14:01,718
Why don't you talk to her?
288
00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:04,390
Why?
I know what she thinks...
289
00:14:04,515 --> 00:14:06,761
- A coal digger.
- She's saying "gold digger."
290
00:14:08,102 --> 00:14:09,931
I know she said that,
291
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:11,705
but that was a long time ago,
292
00:14:11,830 --> 00:14:14,902
- before... she knew you.
- Does Jay buy me nice things?
293
00:14:15,027 --> 00:14:17,270
Yes, of course!
All beautiful things!
294
00:14:17,395 --> 00:14:20,317
Look at this.
Yellow, red, blue...
295
00:14:20,591 --> 00:14:21,841
All the colors.
296
00:14:22,075 --> 00:14:24,300
Do you think I can't live
without these?
297
00:14:24,425 --> 00:14:25,697
Take them away, Phil.
298
00:14:28,747 --> 00:14:31,184
We all know you'd be fine
without underwear.
299
00:14:31,309 --> 00:14:33,659
I mean, we know it's not about that.
300
00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:37,751
It's about me not being accepted
by my new family.
301
00:14:38,027 --> 00:14:39,293
That is not true.
302
00:14:40,020 --> 00:14:41,922
Gloria, look,
you're a beautiful woman.
303
00:14:42,278 --> 00:14:45,216
In fact, you're probably one of those
beautiful women who doesn't know it.
304
00:14:45,402 --> 00:14:46,301
I know it.
305
00:14:47,899 --> 00:14:51,264
So it's natural for Claire
to wonder about you and her dad.
306
00:14:52,540 --> 00:14:54,640
This family is very protective
of each other.
307
00:14:54,812 --> 00:14:57,830
I remember the first time
Claire brought me home.
308
00:14:57,955 --> 00:15:00,580
Do you think Jay thought
I was good enough for his little girl?
309
00:15:00,776 --> 00:15:01,626
No way.
310
00:15:02,453 --> 00:15:03,703
But, over time,
311
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:07,203
he realized that I loved Claire
as much as he did.
312
00:15:07,572 --> 00:15:10,972
And by then, Mitch had brought Cam home,
so I was golden.
313
00:15:11,579 --> 00:15:13,679
Claire just needs a little time.
314
00:15:14,431 --> 00:15:18,381
And then, trust me, she'll be
the most loyal friend you've ever had.
315
00:15:21,796 --> 00:15:25,375
- You're not leaving, are you?
- There's kind of a lot of drama.
316
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:27,697
- So we're torn.
- Let me ask you something.
317
00:15:27,822 --> 00:15:30,297
Your sister said that Gloria
would never go for anybody
318
00:15:30,422 --> 00:15:31,872
who looked like me.
319
00:15:32,688 --> 00:15:34,963
Now, you guys basically...
320
00:15:35,817 --> 00:15:38,302
are like women.
You look at guys.
321
00:15:39,214 --> 00:15:40,855
So what do you think?
322
00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:43,233
You're seriously asking us
if you're attractive?
323
00:15:43,602 --> 00:15:47,360
I know I'm no Erik Estrada or anything.
I'm just curious is all.
324
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:50,848
So, if I was in one
of your bars and...
325
00:15:52,330 --> 00:15:54,388
Righteous Brothers were on,
326
00:15:54,513 --> 00:15:55,495
would you...
327
00:15:56,482 --> 00:15:58,099
I don't know...
Check me out?
328
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:01,294
Dad, you're really close
to ruining gay for me.
329
00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:03,923
- All right, fine, whatever...
- Now, listen, I think it's...
330
00:16:04,705 --> 00:16:06,255
I just think it's a little weird
331
00:16:06,424 --> 00:16:09,924
for a son to say this to his father,
but, for the record...
332
00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:12,112
- You're smoking hot.
- Really?
333
00:16:12,237 --> 00:16:15,390
100%. You're totally my type,
dangerous, gettable.
334
00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:18,400
You have a little cashola
in your pocket.
335
00:16:19,529 --> 00:16:22,496
- Face, body, the whole...
- The whole kit and caboodle,
336
00:16:22,621 --> 00:16:23,921
I think, really.
337
00:16:25,408 --> 00:16:28,111
- What, about a 7?
- 9. For sure 9. But you knew that.
338
00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:29,779
I might have lowballed a bit.
339
00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:31,547
Isn't there a game on?
340
00:16:33,912 --> 00:16:35,738
- Touchy.
- I know.
341
00:16:39,421 --> 00:16:42,183
Gloria? Come on,
let's talk about this.
342
00:16:43,153 --> 00:16:45,453
I've seen her kick in a door before.
343
00:16:50,734 --> 00:16:53,584
I don't know what my husband
is saying to you,
344
00:16:53,964 --> 00:16:56,514
or why he's covered
in your underwear...
345
00:16:58,056 --> 00:17:00,685
Obviously, I'm trying to seduce
him for his money.
346
00:17:01,274 --> 00:17:02,811
That's what I do, right?
347
00:17:03,021 --> 00:17:06,949
What do I have to give back
so that everyone trusts me?
348
00:17:08,954 --> 00:17:10,204
These earrings?
349
00:17:10,390 --> 00:17:12,610
What? This bracelet?
350
00:17:13,096 --> 00:17:14,115
My new dress?
351
00:17:19,076 --> 00:17:21,272
I didn't respond because...
352
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:23,915
this shouldn't be...
353
00:17:24,347 --> 00:17:25,444
about me.
354
00:17:26,456 --> 00:17:29,928
It should be about you
talking to you...
355
00:17:31,507 --> 00:17:32,567
about it.
356
00:17:36,318 --> 00:17:37,218
Honey...
357
00:17:39,608 --> 00:17:40,858
You're welcome.
358
00:17:44,186 --> 00:17:47,357
I don't know what to say except for
that I am really, really sorry.
359
00:17:49,246 --> 00:17:50,896
Just tell me one thing.
360
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:54,404
How do you really feel
that I'm with your father?
361
00:17:55,703 --> 00:17:59,703
Honestly, at first, it was hard.
You don't expect to wake up one morning
362
00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:02,621
with a new mom who looks like
she fell off a mud flap.
363
00:18:02,816 --> 00:18:05,417
But... I'm getting used to it.
364
00:18:07,636 --> 00:18:09,951
The important thing
is you make him happy,
365
00:18:10,076 --> 00:18:12,488
which you do, in so many ways.
366
00:18:13,503 --> 00:18:14,753
So many colors.
367
00:18:17,901 --> 00:18:19,001
Are we okay?
368
00:18:22,598 --> 00:18:24,894
You embarrassed me
in front of everyone downstairs.
369
00:18:25,199 --> 00:18:27,271
What, I'm supposed
just to forget about it?
370
00:18:27,543 --> 00:18:30,942
What do you want me to do?
Just embarrass myself so we're even?
371
00:18:31,496 --> 00:18:34,528
- Go jump in the pool.
- You mean "go jump in a lake," right?
372
00:18:34,697 --> 00:18:37,949
Go jump in the pool with your clothes.
Then I know you're sorry.
373
00:18:38,507 --> 00:18:40,160
I'm not gonna do that, Gloria.
374
00:18:41,542 --> 00:18:42,954
Then I won't forgive you.
375
00:18:45,362 --> 00:18:47,212
Now a field goal beats us!
376
00:18:47,471 --> 00:18:49,005
You guys work that out?
377
00:18:49,130 --> 00:18:51,087
Almost.
Gloria wants me to jump in the pool.
378
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:53,148
- Okay, then.
- What?
379
00:18:53,273 --> 00:18:56,823
If they kick... get a pass rush
on them, something, a break.
380
00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:05,682
- This is so awesome.
- I know. Mom does not look good wet.
381
00:19:05,807 --> 00:19:07,807
Gloria, is this really necessary?
382
00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:10,565
Dad, it's fine.
If I need to jump in this water
383
00:19:11,053 --> 00:19:13,568
to prove to Gloria
how sorry I am, I will do it.
384
00:19:13,976 --> 00:19:14,976
It's fine.
385
00:19:16,107 --> 00:19:18,823
- You're seriously not gonna stop me?
- Why would I do that?
386
00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:21,868
Because I am standing here.
I'm showing you my willingness to...
387
00:19:31,477 --> 00:19:32,578
Are you happy?
388
00:19:33,697 --> 00:19:34,964
I forgive you!
389
00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:38,149
- Then give me your hand.
- That's the oldest trick in the book.
390
00:19:38,274 --> 00:19:41,179
She's gonna pull you in there.
And that's my job.
391
00:19:45,476 --> 00:19:48,894
This is funny, but this is also
a teaching moment. Think of all...
392
00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:53,983
What?!
393
00:19:55,829 --> 00:19:56,879
Cannonball!
394
00:20:01,262 --> 00:20:04,582
- Come on. How could he fumble that?
- Center blew the snap.
395
00:20:04,707 --> 00:20:06,394
I hate that.
I played center,
396
00:20:06,519 --> 00:20:08,890
and I always got blamed for
a quarterback's clumsy hands.
397
00:20:09,015 --> 00:20:11,444
Well, I was a quarterback,
and it was probably your fault.
398
00:20:11,569 --> 00:20:15,450
It's impossible to fumble the ball when
the QB has the proper hand placement.
399
00:20:15,575 --> 00:20:18,389
It's weird to think of a woman
being sexually attracted to dad.
400
00:20:18,514 --> 00:20:20,076
You want to hear weird?
401
00:20:20,201 --> 00:20:22,384
Cam said he'd pick up dad
at a gay bar.
402
00:20:22,509 --> 00:20:25,444
- How did that come up?
- I'm really trying to block it out.
403
00:20:25,569 --> 00:20:28,351
As far as I'm concerned,
mum and dad had sex two times.
404
00:20:28,970 --> 00:20:31,313
- Agreed.
- Now get your hands up there, and...
405
00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:35,159
Like you're lifting me off the ground.
Be one with me, Jay. There you go.
406
00:20:35,284 --> 00:20:38,115
- Do you want to get something to eat?
- I am never eating again.
407
00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:40,025
Just snap the damn thing.
408
00:20:41,049 --> 00:20:43,049
Perfect.
That one kind hurt.