1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,800
What's the key to being a great dad?
2
00:00:04,368 --> 00:00:07,436
That's a tough one.
3
00:00:07,504 --> 00:00:12,441
Giving them the freedom to be
whatever they want to be...
Right, exactly, and --
4
00:00:12,509 --> 00:00:13,776
...Wha pilot, a president...
Me
5
00:00:13,844 --> 00:00:15,578
And for us,
what we're gonna --
6
00:00:15,645 --> 00:00:18,414
...Of a company
or of a country.
7
00:00:20,817 --> 00:00:22,518
Patience.
8
00:00:22,586 --> 00:00:25,488
Well, be their buddy.
9
00:00:25,555 --> 00:00:27,056
That's your answer?
10
00:00:27,124 --> 00:00:29,024
And stay in school.
No.
11
00:00:29,092 --> 00:00:30,326
And don't do drugs.
No!
12
00:00:30,394 --> 00:00:31,694
Just give me the answer.
13
00:00:31,762 --> 00:00:32,995
Oh, god.
14
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,667
Still thinking.
15
00:00:38,735 --> 00:00:41,704
Transcript by addic7ed.com
Sync door dvdmeer
www.bierdopje.com
16
00:00:56,119 --> 00:00:57,653
Hey.
Hey.
17
00:00:57,721 --> 00:00:58,654
Hi.
18
00:00:58,722 --> 00:00:59,855
Oh, okay.
19
00:00:59,923 --> 00:01:01,457
Hi, um...
20
00:01:01,525 --> 00:01:03,359
This is my husband,
phil.
Hi.
21
00:01:03,427 --> 00:01:05,928
And that's my son, luke,
right there.
22
00:01:05,996 --> 00:01:07,229
This is...
Desiree.
23
00:01:07,297 --> 00:01:08,798
Desiree -- right.
Sorry.
24
00:01:08,865 --> 00:01:11,333
Desiree just moved in
down the block.
25
00:01:11,401 --> 00:01:12,668
Fun. Where?
314.
26
00:01:12,736 --> 00:01:14,670
Oh,
the two-bedroom cottage
27
00:01:14,738 --> 00:01:16,605
With the indoor/outdoor
family room.
28
00:01:16,673 --> 00:01:18,274
Very good.
How did you --
29
00:01:18,341 --> 00:01:19,775
Bet you're loving
that steam shower.
30
00:01:19,843 --> 00:01:21,777
Phil, that's creepy.
Oh, sorry.
31
00:01:21,845 --> 00:01:24,079
[ laughs ]
I'm a real-estate mogul.
32
00:01:24,147 --> 00:01:26,449
What?! No, I am
a real-estate agent.
33
00:01:26,516 --> 00:01:28,017
Um, we caravanned
that house.
34
00:01:28,084 --> 00:01:29,185
Great, uh, deck.
35
00:01:29,252 --> 00:01:30,319
Thanks.
36
00:01:30,387 --> 00:01:32,588
I'm just there
till my divorce is final.
37
00:01:32,656 --> 00:01:34,924
Now, who is coconuts enough
to dorce you?
38
00:01:34,991 --> 00:01:37,393
We got to go,
but we'll see yoaround.
39
00:01:37,461 --> 00:01:39,662
Well, we'll have to
have you over sometime.
40
00:01:39,729 --> 00:01:41,397
I'd love it.
All right.
41
00:01:41,465 --> 00:01:43,365
Bye.
Bye.
42
00:01:43,433 --> 00:01:44,366
She's awesome.
43
00:01:44,434 --> 00:01:45,968
No, we are never
having her over.
44
00:01:46,036 --> 00:01:48,838
I heard she already slept
with two dads from the school.
45
00:01:48,905 --> 00:01:50,005
What?
Mm-hmm.
46
00:01:50,073 --> 00:01:52,107
That's...Horrible.
47
00:01:52,175 --> 00:01:53,476
Luke: Dad!
Watch out.
48
00:01:53,543 --> 00:01:55,244
Oh,
watch it, buddy.
49
00:01:55,312 --> 00:01:56,412
Grandma.
50
00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:57,546
I'm sorry.
51
00:01:57,614 --> 00:01:59,315
That still looks like
a girl's bike.
52
00:01:59,382 --> 00:02:01,083
Well, we'll add
more black tape.
53
00:02:01,151 --> 00:02:04,753
Phil: My son has been riding
his sister's old bike.
54
00:02:04,821 --> 00:02:06,155
Until he's
responsible enough
55
00:02:06,223 --> 00:02:07,623
To take care
of his own bike.
56
00:02:07,691 --> 00:02:09,492
Look, he spilled a soda
on my computer.
57
00:02:09,559 --> 00:02:12,561
He ruined our digital
camera taking pictures
of himself underwater.
58
00:02:12,629 --> 00:02:13,796
It's a girl's bike.
59
00:02:13,864 --> 00:02:15,397
I'm all for teaching him
a lesson,
60
00:02:15,465 --> 00:02:17,600
But I worry about
the ridicule he might get
61
00:02:17,667 --> 00:02:19,435
From some
loudmouth bully.
62
00:02:19,503 --> 00:02:20,636
[ horn honks ]
63
00:02:20,704 --> 00:02:22,137
[ laughing ] hey.
64
00:02:22,205 --> 00:02:23,606
Nice bike, sally.
65
00:02:23,673 --> 00:02:25,007
Dad!
66
00:02:25,075 --> 00:02:27,209
Come on. He looks like
little bo peep on that thing.
67
00:02:27,277 --> 00:02:29,778
Actually, not for long.
He's getting a new
bike this afternoon.
68
00:02:29,846 --> 00:02:30,746
I am?
Mm-hmm.
69
00:02:30,814 --> 00:02:32,014
He is?
70
00:02:32,082 --> 00:02:34,717
Phil: Sometimes a man's
gotta put his foot down
71
00:02:34,784 --> 00:02:36,585
And do what a man's gotta do.
72
00:02:36,653 --> 00:02:38,487
And if the old lady
don't like it...
73
00:02:38,555 --> 00:02:40,122
Honey?
74
00:02:42,626 --> 00:02:44,994
...That's too damn bad.
75
00:02:45,061 --> 00:02:47,763
Mitchell: Yes!
Who's excited, huh?
76
00:02:47,831 --> 00:02:50,399
Cam, come on. Hurry up.
We're gonna be late.
77
00:02:50,467 --> 00:02:53,135
It's a toddler play class,
not a flight to cabo.
78
00:02:53,203 --> 00:02:55,371
We're gonna be judged enough
as the only gay parents there.
79
00:02:55,438 --> 00:02:56,839
I don't want to be
the late ones, too.
80
00:02:56,907 --> 00:02:59,608
Wow.
Paisley and pink.
81
00:02:59,676 --> 00:03:01,810
Was there something wrong
with the fishnet tank top?
82
00:03:01,878 --> 00:03:03,812
Obviously not --
I'm wearing it underneath.
83
00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:05,414
Kidding.
Just chill, please.
84
00:03:05,482 --> 00:03:07,716
I'm sorry. I just want to make
a good first impression.
85
00:03:07,784 --> 00:03:10,052
You mean you want to fit in
and not terrify the villagers?
86
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,988
No, hey, come on.
Today is about lily, all right?
87
00:03:13,056 --> 00:03:15,291
We -- her future best friend
might be in that class,
88
00:03:15,358 --> 00:03:17,693
And I don't want to rub anyone
the wrong way.
89
00:03:17,761 --> 00:03:20,863
Can you please just...
Change your shirt?
90
00:03:20,931 --> 00:03:22,331
Fine.
You know what?
91
00:03:22,399 --> 00:03:23,799
I'll just go put on a pair
of khakis, maybe a polo shirt,
92
00:03:23,867 --> 00:03:24,833
And everybody will think
93
00:03:24,901 --> 00:03:26,502
We're a couple
straight golfing buddies
94
00:03:26,570 --> 00:03:28,704
Who just decided
to have a kid together.
95
00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:32,308
Hey, I called
that place in napa
96
00:03:32,375 --> 00:03:34,610
And got us upgraded
to a villa with a hot tub,
97
00:03:34,678 --> 00:03:36,579
So pack whatever you wear
in a hot tub.
98
00:03:36,646 --> 00:03:38,414
Mwah!
99
00:03:38,481 --> 00:03:41,283
I usually wear nothing
when I'm in a hot tub.
100
00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:44,620
Neralmente no uso nada
and my college roommate's wife
just had to get a new hip.
101
00:03:44,688 --> 00:03:46,388
[ laughing ] sucker.
102
00:03:46,456 --> 00:03:49,491
Manny's father is
taking him for a couple
of days to disneyland,
103
00:03:49,559 --> 00:03:51,660
So we're gonna go...
To the wine country!
104
00:03:51,728 --> 00:03:54,163
We're gonna drink some wine,
eat some good food.
105
00:03:54,230 --> 00:03:57,066
You know, we would do something
like this a lot more often
106
00:03:57,133 --> 00:03:58,934
If it sn't for,
you know, manny.
107
00:03:59,002 --> 00:04:00,970
It's good.
He keeps us grounded.
108
00:04:01,037 --> 00:04:02,738
Yeah.
109
00:04:02,806 --> 00:04:05,240
Like fog at airport.
110
00:04:05,308 --> 00:04:06,942
Limo gets here at 4:00.
111
00:04:07,010 --> 00:04:08,744
This morning, I thought
I'd go over to the club,
hit a few balls.
112
00:04:08,812 --> 00:04:11,480
No! What about the fan
in manny's room?
113
00:04:11,548 --> 00:04:12,681
Oh, yeah.
114
00:04:12,749 --> 00:04:13,782
Call a guy.
115
00:04:13,850 --> 00:04:16,352
No! You're supposed to
do it with him.
116
00:04:16,419 --> 00:04:19,154
It's important that
we teach him how to
do things for himself.
117
00:04:19,222 --> 00:04:21,991
In my culture, men take great
pride in doing physicalabor.
118
00:04:22,058 --> 00:04:25,527
I know. That's why I hire
people from your culture.
119
00:04:25,595 --> 00:04:26,862
[ laughs ]
120
00:04:26,930 --> 00:04:28,797
You're snny!
121
00:04:28,865 --> 00:04:30,866
I'm gonna share that one
with my next husband
122
00:04:30,934 --> 00:04:33,369
When we're spending
all your money.
123
00:04:34,771 --> 00:04:37,139
Dad, this is
the coolest bike ever.
124
00:04:37,207 --> 00:04:38,240
Awesome.
125
00:04:38,308 --> 00:04:40,376
So, listen, buddy.
126
00:04:40,443 --> 00:04:42,177
Certain members
of this family
127
00:04:42,245 --> 00:04:44,713
Don't think you can take care
of this bad boy.
128
00:04:44,781 --> 00:04:46,715
U mean mom?
Your words, not mine.
129
00:04:46,783 --> 00:04:50,552
Look, uh,
your mom and I are a team,
130
00:04:50,620 --> 00:04:53,389
And she -- we feel
like this is a chance
131
00:04:53,456 --> 00:04:55,891
For you to show
some responsibility.
132
00:04:55,959 --> 00:04:57,993
Don't make us
look like jerks here.
133
00:04:58,061 --> 00:04:59,194
I won't.
134
00:04:59,262 --> 00:05:01,330
Okay.
One more rule.
135
00:05:01,398 --> 00:05:02,398
What?
136
00:05:02,465 --> 00:05:05,234
Have, like,
three buttloads of fun.
137
00:05:05,301 --> 00:05:06,301
Thanks, dad.
138
00:05:15,445 --> 00:05:16,679
So, let's do this.
139
00:05:16,746 --> 00:05:18,547
Okay, but I need to be done
by 3:00.
140
00:05:18,615 --> 00:05:20,616
That's when
my dad's picking me up.
141
00:05:20,684 --> 00:05:21,984
Hey, if we're not done
by 3:00,
142
00:05:22,052 --> 00:05:23,686
I'm gonna tie a noose
on this thing.
143
00:05:23,753 --> 00:05:25,521
Gloria: In colombia,
there's a saying --
144
00:05:25,588 --> 00:05:29,224
If you have two stubborn burros
that don't like each other,
145
00:05:29,292 --> 00:05:31,593
You tie them to the same cart.
146
00:05:31,661 --> 00:05:34,396
The ceiling fan is the cart.
147
00:05:34,464 --> 00:05:36,532
My dad's takg me
on space mountain.
148
00:05:36,599 --> 00:05:39,535
It's supposed to be
really fast, but he's
not scared of anything.
149
00:05:39,602 --> 00:05:42,004
He d't even wear a seat belt
when he drives.
150
00:05:42,072 --> 00:05:43,505
Wow.
How about that?
151
00:05:43,573 --> 00:05:44,973
He killed a bear once.
152
00:05:45,041 --> 00:05:48,177
Really? Was the bear sitting
in the passenger seat?
153
00:05:48,244 --> 00:05:50,713
Read me the instructions.
154
00:05:50,780 --> 00:05:51,980
"safety tips.
155
00:05:52,048 --> 00:05:54,183
Warning. To reduce the risk
of electrical shock --"
156
00:05:54,250 --> 00:05:55,684
We can skip that.
157
00:05:57,487 --> 00:05:59,154
Uh, "failure
to heed these warnings
158
00:05:59,222 --> 00:06:00,956
Can lead to serious injury
or death --"
159
00:06:01,024 --> 00:06:03,092
You know, you worry too much.
You know that.
160
00:06:03,159 --> 00:06:04,827
Nobody's gonna get
shocked.
161
00:06:04,894 --> 00:06:06,495
One time, my dad was struck
by lightning.
162
00:06:06,563 --> 00:06:08,664
That's why he can drink
as much as he wants.
163
00:06:08,732 --> 00:06:12,167
Jay: Manny thinks
his dad is like superman.
164
00:06:12,235 --> 00:06:14,136
The truth?
He's a total flake.
165
00:06:14,204 --> 00:06:16,638
In fact, the only way
he's like superman
166
00:06:16,706 --> 00:06:19,708
Is that they both landed
in this country illegally.
167
00:06:19,776 --> 00:06:22,077
[ music playing ]
168
00:06:22,145 --> 00:06:23,879
Mitchell: I can't believe
I'm so nervous.
169
00:06:23,947 --> 00:06:26,081
They're gonna love us.
Let's just be ourselves.
170
00:06:26,149 --> 00:06:28,550
Or a slightly toned-down version
of ourselves.
171
00:06:28,618 --> 00:06:29,618
[ scoffs ]
172
00:06:29,686 --> 00:06:30,719
I j-- I just don't
want this
173
00:06:30,787 --> 00:06:32,121
To become an episode
of "the cam show."
174
00:06:32,188 --> 00:06:34,022
Oh, my gosh,
people love "the cam show."
yes, I know.
175
00:06:34,090 --> 00:06:35,491
You watch "the cam show."
I do watch it.
176
00:06:35,558 --> 00:06:36,725
It's appointment viewing.
Okay.
177
00:06:36,793 --> 00:06:38,093
Hi!
Hi!
178
00:06:38,161 --> 00:06:39,328
Are you here
for toddler time?
179
00:06:39,395 --> 00:06:40,596
Yes, I-I'm mitchell,
180
00:06:40,663 --> 00:06:43,031
This is cameron,
and this here is lily.
181
00:06:43,099 --> 00:06:44,933
Oh, well, welcome.
182
00:06:45,001 --> 00:06:47,836
We're all over here
taking turns blowing bubbles.
183
00:06:47,904 --> 00:06:51,607
Oh, well,
how nice for...
184
00:06:51,674 --> 00:06:53,142
The babies.
185
00:06:53,209 --> 00:06:56,745
Mm-hmm.
[ chuckles ]
186
00:06:56,813 --> 00:06:58,847
This is gonna be
really difficult.
187
00:07:09,893 --> 00:07:12,261
Phil: 10 minutes
after making a promise to me,
188
00:07:12,328 --> 00:07:13,729
He leaves his bike unlocked.
189
00:07:13,797 --> 00:07:16,465
All I can hear
is claire's voice in my head --
190
00:07:16,533 --> 00:07:18,267
[ high-pitched ]
"he's not responsible.
191
00:07:18,334 --> 00:07:21,236
You never should have
given him a bike."
192
00:07:21,304 --> 00:07:24,239
[ normal voice ] I know.
I do a pretty good claire.
193
00:07:24,307 --> 00:07:27,209
So I decided
to teach him a lesson
194
00:07:27,277 --> 00:07:30,445
And let him think
his bike was stolen.
195
00:07:30,513 --> 00:07:31,947
Now, I know
that sounds kind of rough,
196
00:07:32,015 --> 00:07:34,883
But sometimes it's a dad's job
to be the tough guy.
197
00:07:34,951 --> 00:07:36,852
Excuse me.
Thank you.
198
00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:38,520
On your left.
My left, your right.
199
00:07:39,332 --> 00:07:43,332
Everyone, we have a new family
joining us today.
200
00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:47,769
I'm, uh, I'm mitchell,
and I am a lawyer.
201
00:07:47,836 --> 00:07:50,405
I-I'm cameron,
and I'm currently not working,
202
00:07:50,472 --> 00:07:53,141
Which gives me more time
to grill
203
00:07:53,208 --> 00:07:55,343
And shoot baskets
and --
204
00:07:55,411 --> 00:07:57,211
And this is lily.
205
00:07:57,279 --> 00:07:59,647
Okay, we're gonna start
with the hello dance,
206
00:07:59,715 --> 00:08:02,317
And then we're gonna move on
to blocks and finger painting,
207
00:08:02,384 --> 00:08:04,552
And then we're gonna do
our family dance.
208
00:08:04,620 --> 00:08:06,688
All right,
who wants to start us off?
209
00:08:06,755 --> 00:08:09,190
Dance us in, p.J.!
210
00:08:09,258 --> 00:08:11,326
[ music playing ]
211
00:08:14,296 --> 00:08:15,463
She's adorable.
212
00:08:15,531 --> 00:08:16,664
Oh, thank you.
213
00:08:16,732 --> 00:08:17,765
7 months?
214
00:08:17,833 --> 00:08:19,133
Uh, 8.
215
00:08:19,201 --> 00:08:22,103
Oh! Is she grabbing
or scooting yet?
216
00:08:22,171 --> 00:08:23,204
Y-yes, absolutely.
217
00:08:23,272 --> 00:08:25,139
I mean,
when she's not grabbing,
218
00:08:25,207 --> 00:08:27,408
She is -- she is scootin'.
[ chuckles ]
219
00:08:27,476 --> 00:08:29,677
Danielle:
Dance us in, tyler!
220
00:08:29,745 --> 00:08:31,346
[ gasps ]
are you ready?
221
00:08:31,413 --> 00:08:32,480
Okay, here we go!
222
00:08:32,548 --> 00:08:34,015
Whoo!
223
00:08:34,083 --> 00:08:35,116
Whee!
224
00:08:35,184 --> 00:08:37,752
Cam, lily is not
grabbing or scooting yet.
225
00:08:37,820 --> 00:08:41,089
Well, she's not doing it yet,
but she will eventually.
226
00:08:41,156 --> 00:08:43,791
No, a lot of these other kids,
they're...
227
00:08:43,859 --> 00:08:44,826
They're grabbing.
228
00:08:44,893 --> 00:08:46,060
I-I just...
229
00:08:46,128 --> 00:08:48,262
Here, lily, look at the --
look at the block, huh?
230
00:08:48,330 --> 00:08:49,697
Grab the block, lily.
Grab the "h."
231
00:08:49,765 --> 00:08:52,033
Dance us in, lily!
232
00:08:52,101 --> 00:08:53,868
Okay, I got this.
Cam, just --
233
00:08:53,936 --> 00:08:55,636
Yes, I know --
tamp down my natural gifts
234
00:08:55,704 --> 00:08:56,971
And dance
like a straight guy.
235
00:08:57,039 --> 00:08:58,239
No slapping
your own butt.
236
00:08:58,307 --> 00:09:00,041
But that's
how I make my horsey go.
237
00:09:00,109 --> 00:09:01,075
[ coos ]
238
00:09:01,143 --> 00:09:02,210
[ grunts ]
239
00:09:12,254 --> 00:09:13,588
Thank you.
240
00:09:15,624 --> 00:09:17,692
That was very good.
241
00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:19,360
I feel dirty.
242
00:09:22,598 --> 00:09:23,831
Oh, hey.
243
00:09:23,899 --> 00:09:25,199
Hey! Hi!
244
00:09:25,267 --> 00:09:26,300
Hi.
245
00:09:26,368 --> 00:09:28,302
Hi, uh, this is
really embarrassing,
246
00:09:28,370 --> 00:09:30,671
But I locked myself
out of my house.
247
00:09:30,739 --> 00:09:33,574
Oh, tsh! I do it all the time.
Don't be embarrassed.
248
00:09:33,642 --> 00:09:35,109
[ chuckles ]
249
00:09:35,177 --> 00:09:37,478
I was -- I was hoping
you could help me.
250
00:09:37,546 --> 00:09:39,614
There's a window open,
but I can't reach it.
251
00:09:39,681 --> 00:09:41,115
Would you mind?
252
00:09:45,454 --> 00:09:46,854
Yeah, sure.
Great. Yeah..
253
00:09:46,922 --> 00:09:48,723
Of course. [ chuckles ]
you know what they say --
254
00:09:48,791 --> 00:09:52,226
Every time god closes a door,
he opens a window.
255
00:09:52,294 --> 00:09:55,096
Or I guess ithis case,
every time he locks you out.
256
00:09:55,164 --> 00:09:56,631
Okay,
what do we got here?
257
00:09:56,698 --> 00:09:59,634
I mean, am I attracted to her?
Yes.
258
00:09:59,701 --> 00:10:02,036
Would I ever act on it?
No. No way.
259
00:10:02,104 --> 00:10:05,373
Not while my wife
is still alive.
260
00:10:05,441 --> 00:10:07,508
Are you sure I can't get you
something to drink?
261
00:10:07,576 --> 00:10:09,777
Yeah, no, I'm -- I'm fine,
really.
262
00:10:09,845 --> 00:10:12,213
If I knew a man was gonna climb
into my bedroom window,
263
00:10:12,281 --> 00:10:13,714
I would have
cleaned up a bit.
264
00:10:13,782 --> 00:10:14,982
Are you kidding me?
265
00:10:15,050 --> 00:10:17,051
It smelled great in there,
like lotions and oils.
266
00:10:17,119 --> 00:10:21,022
For...Dry skin and, you know,
calloused hands.
267
00:10:21,090 --> 00:10:22,623
Yeah.
It's a candle.
268
00:10:22,691 --> 00:10:23,691
Uh-oh.
269
00:10:23,759 --> 00:10:25,726
What's wrong?
270
00:10:25,794 --> 00:10:27,061
The bike's gone.
271
00:10:27,129 --> 00:10:29,197
Oh, no.
Can I help you find it?
272
00:10:29,264 --> 00:10:31,232
That's all right.
Thank you.
273
00:10:31,300 --> 00:10:33,267
Okay.
Thank you!
274
00:10:34,903 --> 00:10:37,505
So, to teach him a lesson,
I took his bike,
275
00:10:37,573 --> 00:10:40,007
And then -- crazy thing --
I put it down for one minute,
276
00:10:40,075 --> 00:10:42,243
And someone swiped it
from me.
277
00:10:42,311 --> 00:10:44,712
Maybe that was your dad
teaching you a lesson.
278
00:10:44,780 --> 00:10:46,214
[ chuckles ]
279
00:10:46,281 --> 00:10:48,216
Zinger!
280
00:10:48,283 --> 00:10:49,450
So...
281
00:10:49,518 --> 00:10:53,287
Any chance I could get
a break on this one?
282
00:10:53,355 --> 00:10:55,323
I can throw in a bell.
Deal.
283
00:10:55,390 --> 00:10:57,024
For $5.
No, sir.
284
00:10:57,092 --> 00:10:58,759
So, you want to go for
the insurance this time,
285
00:10:58,827 --> 00:11:00,128
Or is it still
for suckers?
286
00:11:00,195 --> 00:11:01,896
Ha ha!
287
00:11:01,964 --> 00:11:03,831
Got me again.
288
00:11:03,899 --> 00:11:06,501
Well played, milord.
289
00:11:06,568 --> 00:11:08,203
I will take some insurance.
Thank you.
290
00:11:08,271 --> 00:11:10,205
Gloria:
What's going on in there?
291
00:11:10,273 --> 00:11:11,540
Manny:
That's not step 4.
292
00:11:11,308 --> 00:11:12,441
Don't worry about it.
293
00:11:12,509 --> 00:11:14,143
Well, it says
right here that --
294
00:11:14,211 --> 00:11:15,578
That's
worrying about it.
295
00:11:15,645 --> 00:11:17,880
I thought you guys
might need a drink.
296
00:11:17,948 --> 00:11:19,582
Oh,
you have no idea.
297
00:11:19,649 --> 00:11:23,118
Manny, mi amor, I have to go
get some stuff for our trip.
298
00:11:23,186 --> 00:11:25,421
Ay, but have some fun
with your father, okay?
299
00:11:25,488 --> 00:11:27,756
And I'll see you Monday.
Mwah!
300
00:11:27,824 --> 00:11:31,694
Makes me so happy to see
my two boys working together.
301
00:11:31,761 --> 00:11:33,929
Jay shocked himself
twice.
Okay, manny.
302
00:11:33,997 --> 00:11:35,064
Well, I warned him.
303
00:11:35,131 --> 00:11:35,765
Yep,
he's been a big help.
304
00:11:37,133 --> 00:11:40,068
Look at you two
with your private jokes already.
305
00:11:40,136 --> 00:11:42,271
You're a regular
salazar and el oso.
306
00:11:42,338 --> 00:11:43,472
[ chuckles ]
307
00:11:43,540 --> 00:11:46,275
It's a very big comedy team
in colombia.
308
00:11:46,342 --> 00:11:48,377
El oso is always
hitting salazar in the head
309
00:11:48,444 --> 00:11:49,912
Headder and things,
310
00:11:49,979 --> 00:11:52,281
And sometimes they wear dresses.
[ chuckles ]
311
00:11:52,348 --> 00:11:55,951
They make you laugh,
but they also make you think.
312
00:11:57,954 --> 00:12:00,022
"you blew it.
You made me look bad."
313
00:12:00,089 --> 00:12:02,691
No, "you made
your mother and I look bad.
314
00:12:02,759 --> 00:12:03,759
We are a team."
315
00:12:03,826 --> 00:12:05,394
Luke, you in there?
316
00:12:05,461 --> 00:12:06,828
Luke: Hey, dad.
317
00:12:06,896 --> 00:12:07,863
Hey.
Hey, buddy.
318
00:12:07,931 --> 00:12:09,264
[ video game beeping ]
319
00:12:09,332 --> 00:12:11,466
That was, uh, that was
pretty fun today, huh,
320
00:12:11,534 --> 00:12:12,634
Gettin' a new bike?
321
00:12:12,702 --> 00:12:13,902
Yeah, it was awesome.
322
00:12:13,970 --> 00:12:15,737
So, uh, what happened
after I took off?
323
00:12:15,805 --> 00:12:17,673
Anything you want to
share with me?
324
00:12:17,740 --> 00:12:19,041
Not really.
325
00:12:19,108 --> 00:12:20,842
So if I went out
to the garage
326
00:12:20,910 --> 00:12:23,111
To take a picture
for the scrapbook,
327
00:12:23,179 --> 00:12:24,646
There'd be no surprises?
328
00:12:25,949 --> 00:12:27,683
I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean it.
329
00:12:27,750 --> 00:12:28,951
I just made a mistake.
330
00:12:29,018 --> 00:12:30,986
Yeah, a big mistake!
331
00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:33,055
You're making me look
really bad here.
332
00:12:33,122 --> 00:12:35,057
I told mom
you were ready for this.
333
00:12:35,124 --> 00:12:36,191
It's just a scratch, dad.
334
00:12:36,259 --> 00:12:37,859
That's not the point,
luke -- what?
335
00:12:37,927 --> 00:12:40,128
I scratched it
on my way into the driveway.
336
00:12:40,196 --> 00:12:41,530
I'm sorry.
337
00:12:41,598 --> 00:12:44,099
So...It's not stolen?
338
00:12:44,167 --> 00:12:46,535
No. Why?
339
00:12:46,603 --> 00:12:49,638
That's good, 'cause...
340
00:12:49,706 --> 00:12:51,940
There are bad people out there
who would steal a bike.
341
00:12:52,008 --> 00:12:53,742
Those are thieves.
342
00:12:53,810 --> 00:12:56,612
You sit there and think
about the scratch part.
That's not good, either.
343
00:12:56,679 --> 00:12:57,946
[ crack ]
gonna fix that step.
344
00:12:58,014 --> 00:12:59,881
So don't scratch anything
while I'm gone.
345
00:12:59,949 --> 00:13:01,450
Unless it itches --
that's different.
346
00:13:01,517 --> 00:13:06,021
The good news is,
luke has his bike.
347
00:13:06,089 --> 00:13:07,656
More good news --
348
00:13:07,724 --> 00:13:09,925
I taught some random kid
a valuable lesson
349
00:13:09,993 --> 00:13:11,460
By stealing his bike.
350
00:13:11,527 --> 00:13:14,029
Best news --
claire knows nothing.
351
00:13:14,097 --> 00:13:17,099
So, I figure
I'll just dump the new bike
352
00:13:17,166 --> 00:13:18,800
Where I stole the first bike.
353
00:13:18,868 --> 00:13:21,036
That way,
random kid gets his back,
354
00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:23,805
And this new bike doesn't rais
a lot of embarrassing questions,
355
00:13:23,873 --> 00:13:25,007
Like why I had it
356
00:13:25,074 --> 00:13:27,843
Or who boosted who
through a bedroom window.
357
00:13:27,910 --> 00:13:29,412
So, everybods happy.
358
00:13:30,848 --> 00:13:32,649
Uh-oh.
359
00:13:32,716 --> 00:13:34,183
Oh, son of a --
360
00:13:34,251 --> 00:13:36,219
You gave me
the wrong screwdriver.
361
00:13:36,287 --> 00:13:38,254
Maybe you're
just using it wrong.
362
00:13:38,322 --> 00:13:39,856
My dad's great with tools.
363
00:13:39,923 --> 00:13:41,991
He can get the wheels off a car
in less than a minute.
364
00:13:42,059 --> 00:13:44,193
Just get me to wine country.
Just get me to wine --
365
00:13:44,261 --> 00:13:45,194
Ooh. Oh!
366
00:13:45,262 --> 00:13:46,429
Aah!
Sorry.
367
00:13:46,497 --> 00:13:47,964
I think
my arm is broken.
368
00:13:48,032 --> 00:13:49,332
Relax.
It's not broken.
369
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,401
How do you know?
You don't know anything!
370
00:13:51,468 --> 00:13:53,102
You have no concern
for safety.
371
00:13:53,170 --> 00:13:55,038
Because it didn't hit you
that hard.
372
00:13:55,105 --> 00:13:57,440
Why don't you just say it?
You don't want me around.
373
00:13:57,508 --> 00:13:58,841
You know what?
Right now, I don't.
374
00:13:58,909 --> 00:14:00,743
I don't want to be
with you, either.
375
00:14:00,811 --> 00:14:02,078
I'm gonna go wait
for my dad.
376
00:14:02,146 --> 00:14:03,980
[ mockingly ] oh, but --
but if you leave,
377
00:14:04,048 --> 00:14:05,515
How will I ever finish?
378
00:14:05,582 --> 00:14:08,751
You know what?
I wish you never married my mom.
379
00:14:08,819 --> 00:14:10,053
I hate living here.
380
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:11,521
You think
I like this arrangement?
381
00:14:11,588 --> 00:14:14,891
I got a two-seater
parked in the driveway.
382
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:19,141
[ laughs ] I mean,
I don't understand.
383
00:14:19,209 --> 00:14:21,210
Why are you trying to sneak
around and hide things from me?
384
00:14:21,278 --> 00:14:22,578
I actually think
it's pretty funny.
385
00:14:22,646 --> 00:14:23,746
You do?
386
00:14:23,813 --> 00:14:25,180
I do, yes.
387
00:14:25,248 --> 00:14:27,683
I mean, you steal a bike
from some poor kid
388
00:14:27,751 --> 00:14:30,219
And then the bike
gets stolen from you --
389
00:14:30,287 --> 00:14:31,387
That's hilarious.
390
00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:33,656
[ laughs ]
classic me, right?
391
00:14:33,723 --> 00:14:36,392
Yeah! So, where were you
when it got stolen?
392
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:37,927
Oh,
I was getting some gas.
393
00:14:37,994 --> 00:14:39,228
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
394
00:14:39,296 --> 00:14:41,363
You don't stand near the car
when you get gas?
395
00:14:41,431 --> 00:14:43,098
Yep, but, uh,
I went inside
396
00:14:43,166 --> 00:14:44,567
To get a soda
because I was thirsty,
397
00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:46,669
And if I had a sod
I wouldn't be thirsty anymore,
398
00:14:46,736 --> 00:14:48,871
So I bought one, and then
I drank it all right there,
399
00:14:48,939 --> 00:14:50,306
Which is why
I don't have the can.
400
00:14:50,373 --> 00:14:51,540
Well, honey, please,
401
00:14:51,608 --> 00:14:54,543
Let's try to remember that
I'm your wife, not your mom,
402
00:14:54,611 --> 00:14:57,846
So in the future, you don't need
to hide things from me, okay?
403
00:14:57,914 --> 00:14:59,848
Okay.
Okay.
404
00:14:59,916 --> 00:15:02,851
Ohh! Oh, yeah!
405
00:15:02,919 --> 00:15:04,219
You get back here, you!
406
00:15:04,287 --> 00:15:05,788
Claire:
What are you doing, phil?
407
00:15:05,855 --> 00:15:07,056
I just love you
so darn much!
408
00:15:07,123 --> 00:15:08,724
I know, I love you, too,
but that hurts.
409
00:15:08,792 --> 00:15:10,159
Let's get you inside.
410
00:15:10,226 --> 00:15:11,193
It is a hot one.
Hi!
411
00:15:11,261 --> 00:15:12,595
I know.
That's hurting a lot.
412
00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:14,196
This is a hot one.
Hello! Hi, there!
413
00:15:14,264 --> 00:15:15,798
Oh, hi!
Hi, again.
414
00:15:15,865 --> 00:15:18,000
I, uh,
found your bike.
415
00:15:18,068 --> 00:15:19,201
Uh...
416
00:15:19,269 --> 00:15:21,770
Oh, good! You -- the --
at the gas station?
417
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:23,238
No, at my house.
418
00:15:23,306 --> 00:15:25,441
One of my neighbors saw it
and put it in my garage
419
00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:27,676
When you were
in my bedroom, so...
420
00:15:31,047 --> 00:15:32,982
Classic me?
421
00:15:33,049 --> 00:15:35,884
Come on, honey,
grab the block.
422
00:15:35,952 --> 00:15:37,653
See, like did.
You got to do that.
423
00:15:37,721 --> 00:15:38,821
You got to grab it like him.
424
00:15:38,888 --> 00:15:41,557
So, you seen
any m-movies lately?
425
00:15:41,625 --> 00:15:42,891
Uh, yeah.
426
00:15:42,959 --> 00:15:46,962
You know, my husband and I
just rented, uh, "mamma mia,"
427
00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:48,597
Which I liked, but...
428
00:15:48,665 --> 00:15:51,166
I don't know that meryl streep
was the right choice.
429
00:15:51,234 --> 00:15:53,268
What did you think?
430
00:15:53,336 --> 00:15:55,638
Cameron:
Excuse me --
431
00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:58,674
Meryl streep could play batman
and be the right choice.
432
00:15:58,742 --> 00:16:00,175
She's perfection,
433
00:16:00,243 --> 00:16:03,278
Whether she's divorcing kramer,
whether she's wearing prada.
434
00:16:03,346 --> 00:16:06,081
Don't even get me started
on "sophie's choice."
435
00:16:06,149 --> 00:16:08,550
I get emotional
thinking about it.
436
00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:12,621
She couldn't forgive herself.
437
00:16:15,992 --> 00:16:17,259
[ whimpers ]
438
00:16:17,327 --> 00:16:19,695
I guess she was okay.
439
00:16:19,763 --> 00:16:21,363
Really? Ugh.
440
00:16:21,431 --> 00:16:23,098
Ugh, ugh, ugh.
441
00:16:23,166 --> 00:16:24,533
Mitchell:
Grab the block, sweetheart.
442
00:16:24,601 --> 00:16:25,868
You're not even interested
in it.
443
00:16:25,935 --> 00:16:27,136
Danielle:
Is henry stacking?
444
00:16:27,203 --> 00:16:29,271
Good job, henry!
445
00:16:29,339 --> 00:16:30,839
Good job!
446
00:16:35,111 --> 00:16:37,279
¶ q, r, s ¶
447
00:16:37,347 --> 00:16:38,947
¶ t, u, v ¶
448
00:16:39,015 --> 00:16:42,785
¶ w, x, y, and z ¶
449
00:16:42,852 --> 00:16:45,187
¶ now I know my... ¶
450
00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:46,989
Whoa, lily!
451
00:16:47,057 --> 00:16:49,091
Oh, not so high!
452
00:16:49,159 --> 00:16:49,526
Oh!
453
00:16:49,593 --> 00:16:51,928
That is a big moment
for her.
454
00:16:51,996 --> 00:16:53,930
Yeah.
Would you like
a videotape?
455
00:16:53,998 --> 00:16:55,532
Uh, you know, I don't --
I don't know
456
00:16:55,599 --> 00:16:57,634
If I can actually get her
to do it again, so...
457
00:16:57,702 --> 00:17:00,770
Well, we tape
all of our classes.
458
00:17:00,838 --> 00:17:02,238
We don't like parents
bringing cameras in.
459
00:17:02,306 --> 00:17:03,606
It takes them
out of the moment.
460
00:17:03,674 --> 00:17:04,874
I'll get you a copy
after class.
461
00:17:04,942 --> 00:17:07,277
That's super. Yeah.
Thank you.
462
00:17:08,913 --> 00:17:09,979
Mitchell:
Cam. Cam, let's go.
463
00:17:10,047 --> 00:17:11,614
I-I don't know
what's happened to me,
464
00:17:11,682 --> 00:17:13,750
But I just stole a baby's
intellectual property.
465
00:17:13,818 --> 00:17:15,685
What?
You'll see it tonight
on the news.
466
00:17:15,753 --> 00:17:16,953
Let's just go.
467
00:17:17,021 --> 00:17:18,755
Danielle:
Oh, look who's here --
468
00:17:18,823 --> 00:17:20,790
Anton and scott!
469
00:17:20,858 --> 00:17:21,958
Hi! Sorry we're late!
470
00:17:22,026 --> 00:17:23,259
Scott:
Don't look at me --
471
00:17:23,327 --> 00:17:25,095
The eye candy here
can't leave the house
472
00:17:25,162 --> 00:17:27,430
Without spending 20 minutes
in front of the mirror.
473
00:17:27,498 --> 00:17:28,364
[ laughter ]
474
00:17:28,432 --> 00:17:30,033
Are you kidding me?
475
00:17:30,101 --> 00:17:31,434
I am so sorry.
476
00:17:31,502 --> 00:17:32,535
Look at those queens.
477
00:17:32,603 --> 00:17:34,170
I would have killed
with this crowd,
478
00:17:34,238 --> 00:17:35,872
But you had to
clip my wings,
479
00:17:35,940 --> 00:17:37,707
Which you used to be
the wind beneath.
480
00:17:37,775 --> 00:17:39,042
I know. I'm sorry.
481
00:17:39,110 --> 00:17:40,777
This class has turned me
into a complete monster.
482
00:17:40,845 --> 00:17:41,878
I'm -- I just --
483
00:17:41,946 --> 00:17:43,379
I'll make it up to you.
Let's just go.
484
00:17:43,447 --> 00:17:46,349
Okay, it's time
for parents dance!
485
00:17:46,417 --> 00:17:49,085
Everybody dance
for your baby!
486
00:17:49,153 --> 00:17:51,321
[ dance music plays ]
487
00:17:52,656 --> 00:17:54,257
You want to do it,
don't you?
488
00:17:54,325 --> 00:17:56,025
I do.
489
00:17:56,093 --> 00:17:57,894
I want to dance
for my baby.
490
00:17:57,962 --> 00:17:59,896
[ sighs ] all right,
go on, get in there.
491
00:17:59,964 --> 00:18:00,897
You sure?
492
00:18:00,965 --> 00:18:03,466
Make that horsey move.
Go ahead.
493
00:18:08,339 --> 00:18:10,340
[ all cheering ]
494
00:18:23,220 --> 00:18:25,155
Oh,
I think I hurt myself.
495
00:18:38,135 --> 00:18:40,470
[ telephone rings ]
496
00:18:42,039 --> 00:18:42,972
[ beep ]
497
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,207
Hello.
498
00:18:44,275 --> 00:18:45,875
Hey, javier.
499
00:18:45,943 --> 00:18:48,878
Manny's waiting for you outside.
500
00:18:48,946 --> 00:18:50,446
What?
501
00:18:50,514 --> 00:18:53,116
Why not?
502
00:18:53,184 --> 00:18:55,652
Hold that thought.
503
00:18:55,719 --> 00:18:59,622
His son's sitting on a curb,
waiting to go to disneyland,
504
00:18:59,690 --> 00:19:02,960
And superman can't drag himself
away from a craps table.
505
00:19:03,928 --> 00:19:06,062
And I'm the jerk.
506
00:19:08,065 --> 00:19:10,667
Say, listen...
507
00:19:10,735 --> 00:19:12,969
I, uh...
508
00:19:13,037 --> 00:19:15,171
Sorry, but I got
some bad news.
509
00:19:15,239 --> 00:19:16,339
What?
510
00:19:16,407 --> 00:19:18,808
Your dad
couldn't make it.
511
00:19:18,876 --> 00:19:20,143
Why not?
512
00:19:20,211 --> 00:19:21,544
The plane was full,
513
00:19:21,612 --> 00:19:24,280
And this old lady
needed to get home,
514
00:19:24,348 --> 00:19:25,982
So he gave up his seat.
515
00:19:26,050 --> 00:19:27,550
You're making that up,
aren't you?
516
00:19:27,618 --> 00:19:28,551
No.
517
00:19:28,619 --> 00:19:30,020
He just didn't
want to come.
518
00:19:30,087 --> 00:19:32,122
Are you kidding me?
He was very upset.
519
00:19:32,189 --> 00:19:35,325
He was dying to see you.
520
00:19:35,393 --> 00:19:38,328
In fact,
look what he sent.
521
00:19:38,396 --> 00:19:39,496
A limo?
522
00:19:39,563 --> 00:19:40,764
Yeah!
523
00:19:40,831 --> 00:19:43,667
He wanted me and your mom
to take you to disneyland.
524
00:19:43,734 --> 00:19:45,535
I told you
he was an awesome dad.
525
00:19:45,603 --> 00:19:47,604
Yeah, he's a prince.
526
00:19:47,672 --> 00:19:49,072
Let me see...
527
00:19:49,140 --> 00:19:53,009
Okay, the key to being
a good dad?
528
00:19:53,077 --> 00:19:55,979
Look, sometimes things work out
just the way you want.
529
00:19:56,047 --> 00:19:56,347
Race you to the end.
530
00:19:56,415 --> 00:19:59,116
That is not a good idea...
For you.
531
00:20:00,986 --> 00:20:02,753
Sometimes they don't.
532
00:20:02,821 --> 00:20:04,655
You got to hang in there...
533
00:20:04,723 --> 00:20:07,925
Because when all is said
and done...
534
00:20:09,961 --> 00:20:13,230
...90% of being a dad --
535
00:20:13,298 --> 00:20:16,367
Just showing up.
536
00:20:27,612 --> 00:20:29,380
Hey!
That's my bike!
537
00:20:29,448 --> 00:20:32,950
Oh.
I don't, uh...
538
00:20:33,018 --> 00:20:34,251
Well...
539
00:20:36,288 --> 00:20:37,403
I was giving it back!
540
00:20:40,691 --> 00:20:42,625
[ voice breaking ]
she couldn't forgive herself.
541
00:20:42,693 --> 00:20:45,361
And...
542
00:20:45,429 --> 00:20:46,863
She had to choose.
543
00:20:46,931 --> 00:20:49,465
And I think
because now I have --
544
00:20:49,533 --> 00:20:51,301
We have -- we have l--
545
00:20:51,368 --> 00:20:52,635
We have lily,
546
00:20:52,703 --> 00:20:57,073
It's so hard to imagine
being put in that position.
547
00:20:57,141 --> 00:20:59,542
If I had to choose
lily or mitchell,
548
00:20:59,610 --> 00:21:01,277
I mean, I would choose l--
549
00:21:01,345 --> 00:21:04,948
I don't know!
I just -- I don't know!
550
00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:07,216
Transcript by addic7ed.com
Sync door dvdmeer
www.bierdopje.com
551
00:21:07,284 --> 00:21:09,218
I don't know!
552
00:21:09,286 --> 00:21:12,021
I don't know!