1 00:00:01,296 --> 00:00:02,710 The vet called. 2 00:00:02,876 --> 00:00:04,717 Stella's test results came back. 3 00:00:04,806 --> 00:00:07,642 He wants me to bring her in... today. 4 00:00:07,772 --> 00:00:10,189 Oh, no. Come here, you. 5 00:00:10,275 --> 00:00:11,923 Oh, Jay, I'm so sorry. 6 00:00:12,009 --> 00:00:15,688 That is the bad thing about loving animals, right? 7 00:00:16,025 --> 00:00:19,434 But think about all the wonderful things you gave her, 8 00:00:19,690 --> 00:00:22,867 like a beautiful home, delicious food... 9 00:00:23,063 --> 00:00:24,720 ..our marital bed. 10 00:00:24,806 --> 00:00:26,157 I'm sorry, Jay, 11 00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:29,337 Ay, Stella will not be forgotten. 12 00:00:30,735 --> 00:00:32,912 I'm not putting her down, you goblin. 13 00:00:32,997 --> 00:00:34,380 She needs a surgery. 14 00:00:34,466 --> 00:00:37,274 Oh. That is such great news. 15 00:00:37,529 --> 00:00:38,879 Oh, what's wrong with Stella? 16 00:00:39,003 --> 00:00:41,071 She has an elongated soft palate, 17 00:00:41,157 --> 00:00:43,080 which is why sometimes it's hard for her to breathe. 18 00:00:43,165 --> 00:00:44,493 And she snores a lot. 19 00:00:44,582 --> 00:00:46,251 Any chance that they can do you, too? 20 00:00:46,337 --> 00:00:48,571 This is a serious operation. They have to put her out. 21 00:00:48,657 --> 00:00:50,279 What happens if she doesn't wake up? 22 00:00:50,381 --> 00:00:51,413 What would I do?! 23 00:00:51,515 --> 00:00:52,837 When I got my wisdom teeth out, 24 00:00:52,923 --> 00:00:54,885 you made me walk the last four blocks to the dentist 25 00:00:54,970 --> 00:00:57,303 so you could get an Egg McMuffin before the 10:30 cut-off. 26 00:00:57,388 --> 00:00:58,845 You're gonna have to let that go. 27 00:00:59,096 --> 00:01:00,252 You know what? I'm not gonna do it. 28 00:01:00,337 --> 00:01:02,141 - She seems fine. - Maybe she just needs 29 00:01:02,227 --> 00:01:03,626 some fresh air to breathe better. 30 00:01:03,712 --> 00:01:05,282 Why don't we take her to the dog park? 31 00:01:05,368 --> 00:01:08,016 That's a great idea. Might be a little muddy out there. 32 00:01:08,299 --> 00:01:09,954 I'm gonna get your boots, gorgeous. 33 00:01:10,063 --> 00:01:11,524 Thank you. 34 00:01:11,610 --> 00:01:14,626 My boots are in the closet, next to the... 35 00:01:14,977 --> 00:01:16,673 Was he just talking to Stella? 36 00:01:16,837 --> 00:01:18,069 Come here, you. 37 00:01:26,821 --> 00:01:28,415 *MODERN FAMILY* Season 10 Episode 14 38 00:01:28,524 --> 00:01:29,845 Episode Title : "We Need to Talk About Lily" 39 00:01:31,015 --> 00:01:33,995 Crown molding wainscoting, crown molding wainscoting, 40 00:01:34,056 --> 00:01:36,407 French door credit score, French door credit score. 41 00:01:36,494 --> 00:01:37,744 You warming up for a big showing? 42 00:01:37,829 --> 00:01:38,761 Very big. 43 00:01:38,847 --> 00:01:40,579 I finally found Pepper his dream house. 44 00:01:40,665 --> 00:01:41,721 I can't believe you're still 45 00:01:41,806 --> 00:01:42,766 letting that man waste your time. 46 00:01:42,852 --> 00:01:44,399 How many houses have you shown him? 47 00:01:44,502 --> 00:01:47,938 Pfft, only, like... I don't know, like, uh, 120. 48 00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:49,438 But we have fun. He's a hoot. 49 00:01:49,540 --> 00:01:52,048 Honey, even Mitch and Cam agree that he's impossible, 50 00:01:52,134 --> 00:01:53,524 and he's never gonna buy a house. 51 00:01:53,610 --> 00:01:54,610 - Yes, he will. - No. 52 00:01:54,696 --> 00:01:56,360 He always manages to find something wrong. 53 00:01:56,446 --> 00:02:00,524 The last house, the yoga room was too close to the panic room. 54 00:02:00,651 --> 00:02:02,066 He was willing to live with that, 55 00:02:02,181 --> 00:02:04,610 but the property wasn't zoned for his falcons. 56 00:02:04,822 --> 00:02:07,389 This one today, though, checks every single box. 57 00:02:07,491 --> 00:02:11,024 Great. So if Pepper doesn't buy the house today, 58 00:02:11,110 --> 00:02:13,313 you agree to stop letting him string you along 59 00:02:13,399 --> 00:02:15,132 and drop him as a client. 60 00:02:15,254 --> 00:02:18,817 How long did you string me along before I closed that deal? 61 00:02:18,911 --> 00:02:21,102 Honey, you can't get Pepper pregnant 62 00:02:21,188 --> 00:02:22,905 - and trap him in a house. - You're on. 63 00:02:23,007 --> 00:02:24,111 You remember you need to be home 64 00:02:24,196 --> 00:02:25,757 - by 5:00, right? - Yeah. 65 00:02:25,985 --> 00:02:27,042 Wait, why? 66 00:02:27,144 --> 00:02:29,532 Alex's boyfriend, Bill, has cooked up some invention 67 00:02:29,618 --> 00:02:30,962 he wants us to invest in. 68 00:02:31,148 --> 00:02:32,446 Why us? 69 00:02:32,727 --> 00:02:36,337 Because someone inspired him. 70 00:02:36,654 --> 00:02:38,602 As you can see, my patent-pending. 71 00:02:38,688 --> 00:02:42,212 Wear-Chair TM, barely noticeable. 72 00:02:42,415 --> 00:02:44,243 - I love it. - Whenever I get tired of standing, 73 00:02:44,328 --> 00:02:47,085 all I have to do... press this button. 74 00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:51,333 A spring-loaded leg jets out to provide me with a comfy seat. 75 00:02:53,312 --> 00:02:54,712 You put it on backwards, didn't you? 76 00:02:54,838 --> 00:02:56,374 My point is, Bill, 77 00:02:56,507 --> 00:02:58,617 there's a great invention inside all of us. 78 00:02:58,703 --> 00:03:00,453 Please, just be home in time. 79 00:03:00,539 --> 00:03:02,305 I don't want to crush a man's dreams on my own. 80 00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:03,399 You have to do it with me. 81 00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:05,598 Who knows? We might love his invention. 82 00:03:05,683 --> 00:03:06,715 It's gonna be stupid. 83 00:03:06,773 --> 00:03:08,180 Good thing you weren't married to George Foreman 84 00:03:08,265 --> 00:03:10,437 or we'd still be grilling our meats one side at a time. 85 00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:11,554 Mm. 86 00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:16,218 So, Lily, how... how are you today?! 87 00:03:16,679 --> 00:03:17,734 Lily?! 88 00:03:17,968 --> 00:03:19,148 Lily. 89 00:03:19,331 --> 00:03:21,179 Your father was just asking how you're doing. 90 00:03:21,265 --> 00:03:22,431 Are... Are you all right? 91 00:03:22,533 --> 00:03:24,265 - I'm fine. - Okay. 92 00:03:25,999 --> 00:03:27,536 Yeah. 93 00:03:27,638 --> 00:03:29,687 Okay, uh... I gestured you over here 94 00:03:29,773 --> 00:03:31,024 'cause we need to talk about Lily. 95 00:03:31,109 --> 00:03:32,171 Yes, I puzzled that out. 96 00:03:32,257 --> 00:03:34,281 Also, you don't need to whisper. Watch. 97 00:03:34,390 --> 00:03:35,999 Honey, your father and I may get divorced 98 00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:37,844 because he's thinking about becoming a woman. 99 00:03:37,929 --> 00:03:39,481 That explains a lot. 100 00:03:39,726 --> 00:03:43,518 - I'm in between songs. - Okay, all right. Now out. This way. 101 00:03:43,621 --> 00:03:44,788 What is going on with her? 102 00:03:44,874 --> 00:03:46,945 I don't want to be shut out like this another day. 103 00:03:47,031 --> 00:03:49,191 I know, but let's... let's not get hysterical. 104 00:03:49,277 --> 00:03:50,376 I'm not getting hysterical. 105 00:03:50,494 --> 00:03:51,805 - We're minutes away. - Fair enough. 106 00:03:51,890 --> 00:03:53,493 I just want to see her smile. 107 00:03:53,579 --> 00:03:55,453 Yeah, okay, I'm gonna text Ronaldo again. 108 00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:58,333 Hopefully he got us into that KimmyLoveandStuff party. 109 00:03:58,435 --> 00:04:00,813 KimmyLoveandStuff is an Internet sensation 110 00:04:00,899 --> 00:04:01,970 - that Lily loves. - Yeah. 111 00:04:02,072 --> 00:04:03,883 - Boom! - She tries on clothes, 112 00:04:04,055 --> 00:04:06,227 she cries about bullies and plastic. 113 00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:08,141 You guys, just imagine 114 00:04:08,227 --> 00:04:10,446 if you were a turtle and this happened to you. 115 00:04:10,648 --> 00:04:12,664 Our whole family is obsessed with her. 116 00:04:12,750 --> 00:04:15,110 And... that's the great thing about a tween girl 117 00:04:15,196 --> 00:04:16,235 having two gay dads. 118 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:17,946 I mean, we... we love the same things. 119 00:04:18,032 --> 00:04:20,183 Cute guys, fashion, gossip. 120 00:04:20,322 --> 00:04:22,589 Oh, my God! Ronaldo, he got us in! 121 00:04:22,691 --> 00:04:23,672 Amazing. Okay, 122 00:04:23,758 --> 00:04:24,910 we have to get him a thank-you gift. 123 00:04:24,995 --> 00:04:26,561 No, no, he owes you, okay? 124 00:04:26,743 --> 00:04:28,055 You gave him your bone marrow. 125 00:04:28,196 --> 00:04:29,539 Well, how could I not? 126 00:04:29,625 --> 00:04:31,977 He was still hungry, and I wasn't gonna eat any more of it. 127 00:04:32,954 --> 00:04:36,563 And we make our way back to the formal entryway, 128 00:04:36,649 --> 00:04:38,414 which, according to your checklist, 129 00:04:38,618 --> 00:04:40,792 "must be large enough to make people swoon 130 00:04:40,878 --> 00:04:42,110 when they step inside." 131 00:04:42,204 --> 00:04:43,711 I want to do it again. 132 00:04:44,782 --> 00:04:47,125 Ugh, that Pepper claims to be wealthy, 133 00:04:47,221 --> 00:04:48,305 but I don't believe it for a... 134 00:04:48,390 --> 00:04:49,594 Oh, my heavens! 135 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:51,360 We're peasants. 136 00:04:51,446 --> 00:04:52,852 It's got everything on your list... 137 00:04:53,057 --> 00:04:55,624 piano bar, his and his dining rooms, 138 00:04:55,726 --> 00:04:59,102 plus a view of Rihanna's roof, which I never quite understood. 139 00:04:59,188 --> 00:05:01,211 I did a party for her once, and I could feel 140 00:05:01,297 --> 00:05:04,422 those judgy Barbadian eyes looking down on me. 141 00:05:04,696 --> 00:05:08,153 Now who's looking down on who, RiRi? 142 00:05:08,238 --> 00:05:11,196 Like they say, location, location, vengeance. 143 00:05:11,954 --> 00:05:13,241 You're funny. 144 00:05:13,343 --> 00:05:15,911 Oh, it's fabulous, Phil. Mother would love it. 145 00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:18,563 It's her generosity and my power of attorney 146 00:05:18,649 --> 00:05:20,258 that are making this purchase possible. 147 00:05:20,383 --> 00:05:23,282 So... are we ready to sign the offer? 148 00:05:23,555 --> 00:05:24,753 Very close. 149 00:05:24,855 --> 00:05:26,493 I just want to live in it for a bit, 150 00:05:26,579 --> 00:05:27,923 get a feel for the everyday. 151 00:05:28,025 --> 00:05:29,133 You're in no hurry, right? 152 00:05:29,219 --> 00:05:30,719 Oh, no, no, no. If I was in a hurry, 153 00:05:30,805 --> 00:05:32,969 would I have shown you over 200 houses? 154 00:05:33,258 --> 00:05:35,101 I can't wait to get to the park. 155 00:05:35,399 --> 00:05:36,615 Hey, there's our mailman. 156 00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:38,100 Hey! Hey! 157 00:05:38,202 --> 00:05:39,312 Settle down, Jay. 158 00:05:39,398 --> 00:05:40,672 Boy, I'm itchy today. 159 00:05:40,758 --> 00:05:42,648 Hey, I hope that dog Bingo's at the park. 160 00:05:42,734 --> 00:05:43,851 He's fun to play with. 161 00:05:43,937 --> 00:05:45,781 What are you doing? You just missed our turn. 162 00:05:45,909 --> 00:05:47,309 I'm just going another way. 163 00:05:47,411 --> 00:05:48,742 There is no other way. 164 00:05:49,747 --> 00:05:51,539 You're not taking us to the park. 165 00:05:52,164 --> 00:05:53,172 We're going to the vet. 166 00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:55,863 The doctor said that she needs this surgery. 167 00:05:55,949 --> 00:05:58,711 - She's gonna be fine. - I feel sick. I need some air. 168 00:06:02,125 --> 00:06:04,922 So, here I am on an ordinary day in my new house 169 00:06:05,008 --> 00:06:08,320 everyone hates me for and I'm walking and 170 00:06:08,406 --> 00:06:09,232 I'm kvelling... 171 00:06:09,318 --> 00:06:13,354 And we're panting and we're schvitzing... 172 00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:17,578 and we're laughing and we're crying... 173 00:06:17,781 --> 00:06:18,976 And we're thinking. 174 00:06:19,061 --> 00:06:20,578 And I'm putting. 175 00:06:20,663 --> 00:06:22,047 So, you have an entire wardrobe 176 00:06:22,133 --> 00:06:23,422 - in your car? - Shh! 177 00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:27,125 ♪ And I'm playing and I'm singing ♪ 178 00:06:27,211 --> 00:06:29,109 ♪ And they're loving it ♪ 179 00:06:30,017 --> 00:06:32,664 I said loving it. 180 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,577 This is a disaster! 181 00:06:36,679 --> 00:06:38,296 What a fun way to enter a room. 182 00:06:38,381 --> 00:06:40,415 I know Bill's coming over to talk to you guys today, 183 00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:42,461 - and I'm freaking out. - Oh, honey, don't worry. 184 00:06:42,547 --> 00:06:43,834 We're not gonna invest in his invention. 185 00:06:43,919 --> 00:06:45,484 That's not why he wants to talk to you. 186 00:06:45,570 --> 00:06:46,609 It's a cover. 187 00:06:46,695 --> 00:06:48,956 He's going to ask for your blessing to marry me. 188 00:06:49,058 --> 00:06:51,453 - Whoa, what? - And you have to tell him no. 189 00:06:51,539 --> 00:06:52,664 How do you know this? 190 00:06:52,750 --> 00:06:55,180 All of the men in his family propose on Valentine's Day, 191 00:06:55,266 --> 00:06:56,113 which is coming up. 192 00:06:56,198 --> 00:06:57,750 I read a text he sent to his buddy 193 00:06:57,836 --> 00:06:59,406 who just got engaged asking for tips 194 00:06:59,492 --> 00:07:01,352 for a good proposal, and my friend saw him 195 00:07:01,445 --> 00:07:02,781 coming out of a jewelry store. 196 00:07:02,867 --> 00:07:05,727 So you read his texts and you track his movements. 197 00:07:05,813 --> 00:07:07,602 I can see why he's so eager to lock you down. 198 00:07:07,688 --> 00:07:10,219 Look, I really like being with Bill, 199 00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:11,912 and if I have to turn him down, 200 00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:14,406 that means the end of the relationship 201 00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:17,134 and all that great sex. 202 00:07:17,281 --> 00:07:19,414 Really come out of your shell, haven't you? 203 00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:22,883 Okay. 204 00:07:23,759 --> 00:07:27,461 Okay. Are you ready?! Surprise! 205 00:07:27,563 --> 00:07:29,938 I'm gonna need a little bit more information. 206 00:07:30,024 --> 00:07:31,336 You are at. 207 00:07:31,422 --> 00:07:32,876 - KimmyLoveandStuff's. - KimmyLoveandStuff. 208 00:07:32,961 --> 00:07:33,844 Exclusive launch party... 209 00:07:33,930 --> 00:07:37,053 For her new makeup line, and she's gonna sing 210 00:07:37,139 --> 00:07:38,297 - her hit single... - Single! 211 00:07:38,383 --> 00:07:39,624 - "Give Me Love and Stuff." - "Love and Stuff." 212 00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:42,141 Okay. How did you guys do this? 213 00:07:42,298 --> 00:07:45,727 Hello, total strangers. Welcome. 214 00:07:45,820 --> 00:07:47,492 Thank you so much for doing this, Ronaldo. 215 00:07:47,578 --> 00:07:48,587 If anyone asks who you are, 216 00:07:48,672 --> 00:07:50,759 say you were looking for the Garth Brooks book signing. 217 00:07:50,844 --> 00:07:51,845 - Oh. - They'll believe you 218 00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:54,305 - because of your clothes. - I'm gonna go look for the bathroom. 219 00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:56,430 - Okay. - Oh, look, she is so nervous, 220 00:07:56,516 --> 00:07:57,459 it's adorable. 221 00:07:57,563 --> 00:07:59,461 Um, uh, do you think that there's any way 222 00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:01,828 we can get KimmyLoveandStuff to come over and meet Lily? 223 00:08:01,976 --> 00:08:03,883 I'm not allowed to look her in the eye, so no. 224 00:08:03,969 --> 00:08:05,828 This is Ronaldo. 225 00:08:06,216 --> 00:08:08,898 Just pick it up, blow on it, and put it back on the tray. 226 00:08:08,984 --> 00:08:10,550 Are you kidding me with these questions? 227 00:08:10,636 --> 00:08:12,453 Wow! We got to get KimmyLoveandStuff 228 00:08:12,539 --> 00:08:13,406 to say hi to Lily. 229 00:08:13,492 --> 00:08:15,625 Well, there's her dog, Boo, so she's nearby. 230 00:08:15,711 --> 00:08:17,820 Okay, I just got a really sketchy but great idea. 231 00:08:17,906 --> 00:08:19,891 Um, did you pack your jerky? 232 00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:21,672 Turkey, beef, or salmon? 233 00:08:21,758 --> 00:08:23,095 - Here's what we're gonna do. - Oh, please. 234 00:08:23,180 --> 00:08:24,696 This is not the first time I've lured an animal 235 00:08:24,781 --> 00:08:26,930 away from its owner with my purse jerky. 236 00:08:28,495 --> 00:08:31,196 Boo, come here. Boo, you want some treats? 237 00:08:31,384 --> 00:08:32,648 Good girl. Come here. 238 00:08:32,781 --> 00:08:34,922 Move! Boo! 239 00:08:35,008 --> 00:08:36,747 Does anyone have eyes on Boo?! 240 00:08:36,914 --> 00:08:38,351 Those old men snatched her. 241 00:08:38,437 --> 00:08:40,234 Are you trying to steal my dog? 242 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,657 No, no, no, no. I'm so sorry. We were just... 243 00:08:41,742 --> 00:08:43,024 We're just trying to, uh, get your attention. 244 00:08:43,109 --> 00:08:44,588 Yeah, you see, our daughter, Lily, she... 245 00:08:44,673 --> 00:08:45,856 she's a massive fan 246 00:08:45,941 --> 00:08:48,259 and she's a little depressed right now and we just... 247 00:08:48,344 --> 00:08:49,914 we want to see her smile again. 248 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,758 Oh... my... God. 249 00:08:53,914 --> 00:08:56,212 Gay dads are the best! 250 00:08:56,298 --> 00:08:58,109 - That's what we said. - We say that. 251 00:08:58,220 --> 00:08:59,883 I think it's because we love to have fun, 252 00:08:59,969 --> 00:09:01,734 but we're also not afraid to get real. 253 00:09:01,820 --> 00:09:04,890 Aww. I hate the idea of your daughter not smiling. 254 00:09:04,976 --> 00:09:06,293 Let's go make her day. 255 00:09:06,395 --> 00:09:07,720 Okay, well, that's her right there. 256 00:09:07,805 --> 00:09:09,029 Um, that's Lily. 257 00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:10,047 Film this. 258 00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,203 I-Is she talking to me? 259 00:09:11,289 --> 00:09:12,156 Yeah. 260 00:09:12,242 --> 00:09:14,258 Of course, Ms. LoveandStuff. 261 00:09:15,065 --> 00:09:17,742 Hey, lovers and stuffers. It's your girl, Kimmy. 262 00:09:17,873 --> 00:09:19,336 We're here at my launch party 263 00:09:19,461 --> 00:09:22,827 where I'm about to surprise my biggest fan. 264 00:09:22,912 --> 00:09:25,579 You ready to see someone's mind kim-plode? 265 00:09:27,953 --> 00:09:31,055 Hey, Lily. You having fun and stuff? 266 00:09:31,172 --> 00:09:32,281 Hey. 267 00:09:32,370 --> 00:09:34,047 Lily, it's KimmyLoveandStuff. 268 00:09:34,190 --> 00:09:35,304 I know. I said "hey." 269 00:09:35,390 --> 00:09:36,571 You know what? I think she's in shock. 270 00:09:36,656 --> 00:09:38,275 Lily, why don't you tell her your favorite video. 271 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,211 Mine was when you tackled racism 272 00:09:40,296 --> 00:09:42,211 and gave yourself that cute fishtail braid. 273 00:09:42,297 --> 00:09:43,464 Uh-huh. And Lily. 274 00:09:43,566 --> 00:09:45,906 I don't watch them anymore. Sorry. Can we go? 275 00:09:45,992 --> 00:09:47,367 Cut! Give me that! 276 00:09:47,470 --> 00:09:49,258 Lily? You're... You're being very rude. 277 00:09:49,375 --> 00:09:50,721 Extra rude! 278 00:09:50,806 --> 00:09:52,923 And who are you people and how did you get in here? 279 00:09:53,008 --> 00:09:55,993 - Garth Brooks. - Garth Brooks. - When I find out, heads will roll. 280 00:09:56,109 --> 00:09:58,821 - I'm so embarrassed. - You're so embarrassed? 281 00:09:58,907 --> 00:10:00,664 You're so embarrassed? 282 00:10:02,117 --> 00:10:03,804 Okay. We're ready for Stella. 283 00:10:03,890 --> 00:10:05,312 Well, I'm not ready. 284 00:10:05,398 --> 00:10:07,187 - Jay, come on. - Ah. 285 00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:09,812 All right. Careful. 286 00:10:11,267 --> 00:10:13,797 Wait a second. I-I have to say something. 287 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:17,234 Little girl, I know you're scared. 288 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:19,483 Me too. But you're a fighter. 289 00:10:19,568 --> 00:10:22,219 "Don't worry, Daddy. I'll be fine." 290 00:10:22,312 --> 00:10:23,570 She doesn't sound like that. 291 00:10:23,672 --> 00:10:26,078 Sorry. She'll do great. 292 00:10:26,268 --> 00:10:29,336 What is going on with you? I've never seen you like this. 293 00:10:29,422 --> 00:10:30,507 I don't know. 294 00:10:31,383 --> 00:10:33,383 When I was 10, Dad came home with a rescue, 295 00:10:33,469 --> 00:10:35,117 and I was so damned excited. 296 00:10:35,594 --> 00:10:37,168 But the dog wanted nothing to do with me... 297 00:10:37,253 --> 00:10:39,922 Went straight to my sister and never left her side. 298 00:10:40,593 --> 00:10:44,098 Then years later, we got a puppy who went right to Dede, 299 00:10:44,193 --> 00:10:46,140 growled at me every time I went near her. 300 00:10:46,707 --> 00:10:50,172 But with Stella, I didn't even bother trying, and she chose me. 301 00:10:50,866 --> 00:10:52,758 Now I may never see her again. 302 00:10:53,716 --> 00:10:56,984 I-I-I can't sit here. I need to take a walk. 303 00:10:58,625 --> 00:11:00,475 What kind of surgery? 304 00:11:00,836 --> 00:11:02,867 They just have to fix her breathing. 305 00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:03,914 It's not a big deal. 306 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,765 Hmm. Is that what they told you? 307 00:11:05,937 --> 00:11:07,581 I'd be careful if I were you. 308 00:11:07,721 --> 00:11:08,721 What do you mean? 309 00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:11,601 Men get crazy about their animals. 310 00:11:11,734 --> 00:11:15,289 My husband had this horrible cat with a big lump on its neck. 311 00:11:15,414 --> 00:11:18,000 It was benign, didn't bother my husband, 312 00:11:18,109 --> 00:11:19,922 but I couldn't stand looking at it. 313 00:11:20,008 --> 00:11:21,922 So one day, when my husband was at work, 314 00:11:22,039 --> 00:11:24,164 I brought the cat in here to have them take 315 00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:25,992 that thing off and... Kchhh. 316 00:11:26,135 --> 00:11:28,201 It died right on the table. 317 00:11:28,304 --> 00:11:30,656 Ay, no. Was your husband mad? 318 00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:33,453 Ex-husband, so yeah. 319 00:11:34,086 --> 00:11:36,109 Ay... Damn it. 320 00:11:36,472 --> 00:11:38,336 Hola. 321 00:11:38,695 --> 00:11:40,195 Hello? 322 00:11:42,288 --> 00:11:45,422 Well, all righty. I thought I was next. 323 00:11:46,258 --> 00:11:49,607 Well, that's the first time I've slow-cooked ribs for a showing. 324 00:11:49,692 --> 00:11:50,657 Mother's recipe. 325 00:11:50,759 --> 00:11:53,531 So, are you ready to make an offer? 326 00:11:55,406 --> 00:11:56,484 I don't know, Phil. 327 00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:57,796 Don't know what, Pep? 328 00:11:58,601 --> 00:12:00,265 - I'm just not feeling it. - Oh. 329 00:12:00,351 --> 00:12:02,101 Maybe we should see some more houses? 330 00:12:02,187 --> 00:12:03,586 No problemo. Um, 331 00:12:03,672 --> 00:12:05,149 did you want to look in another neighborhood 332 00:12:05,234 --> 00:12:07,617 or stay right here in Hell?! 333 00:12:07,703 --> 00:12:11,632 - Aah! Oh! I beg your... - No, I beg... 334 00:12:11,718 --> 00:12:14,038 For God's sakes, buy this house. 335 00:12:14,124 --> 00:12:17,585 I've worked harder for you than any client in my entire career. 336 00:12:17,671 --> 00:12:19,320 I don't know if you're indecisive, 337 00:12:19,445 --> 00:12:21,406 sadistic, or just plain crazy. 338 00:12:21,492 --> 00:12:22,413 Hey there, honey. 339 00:12:22,499 --> 00:12:23,507 You're still there, aren't you? 340 00:12:23,592 --> 00:12:25,851 He's just dotting the I's, crossing the T's. 341 00:12:25,937 --> 00:12:28,328 Yanking your chain. Dump him. 342 00:12:28,492 --> 00:12:30,039 Listen, Bill's about to be here any minute, 343 00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:32,304 and the situation has changed. 344 00:12:33,035 --> 00:12:34,218 Got to go. 345 00:12:35,404 --> 00:12:39,492 Get back here! I found you a bathroom with a koi pond! 346 00:12:43,688 --> 00:12:45,828 I have Stella! Get in! 347 00:12:49,390 --> 00:12:50,687 Where is she? 348 00:12:50,789 --> 00:12:52,639 - She's in the back. - Is she okay? 349 00:12:52,724 --> 00:12:54,952 I busted her out. I can't make you do this. 350 00:12:55,038 --> 00:12:57,671 If something happens to her, you're never going to forgive me, 351 00:12:57,757 --> 00:12:59,304 and I don't want to lose you like that. 352 00:12:59,390 --> 00:13:01,657 Well, that's touching, but you just blew through a stop sign. 353 00:13:01,742 --> 00:13:03,900 She'd probably be safer at the vet. 354 00:13:05,163 --> 00:13:07,321 Ronaldo. It's Phil Dunphy. 355 00:13:07,406 --> 00:13:08,455 Hello, Phil. 356 00:13:08,540 --> 00:13:10,407 I'm preparing a plate for a diva. 357 00:13:10,546 --> 00:13:11,658 Is everything okay? 358 00:13:11,743 --> 00:13:13,093 Uh, actually, no. 359 00:13:13,178 --> 00:13:14,895 I lost my temper with Pepper when he told me 360 00:13:14,980 --> 00:13:16,496 he wanted to see more houses, and I've been calling 361 00:13:16,581 --> 00:13:18,515 - to apologize, but... - He's not picking up. 362 00:13:18,617 --> 00:13:19,599 How did you know? 363 00:13:19,684 --> 00:13:20,907 It seemed the only possible conclusion 364 00:13:20,992 --> 00:13:22,169 - to your sentence. - Oh. 365 00:13:22,254 --> 00:13:25,288 Phil, do you know the reason I stopped house hunting with Pepper? 366 00:13:25,390 --> 00:13:27,374 Was it when that seller thought Pepper was your grandpa? 367 00:13:27,459 --> 00:13:29,325 He hasn't let me wear sunscreen since. 368 00:13:29,428 --> 00:13:32,593 No. I finally realized he wasn't going to buy a house. 369 00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:35,398 Are you kidding? I've wasted hundreds of hours. 370 00:13:35,484 --> 00:13:38,134 I postponed hernia surgery. Why would he do that to me? 371 00:13:38,236 --> 00:13:39,695 He likes you. 372 00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:41,492 Most straight guys find Pepper annoying, 373 00:13:41,578 --> 00:13:43,156 but you're always so nice with him. 374 00:13:43,241 --> 00:13:44,929 I think he's afraid if he buys a house, 375 00:13:45,015 --> 00:13:46,835 - he'll never see you again. - Really? 376 00:13:46,921 --> 00:13:48,905 Wow, it's so painful keeping everything inside. 377 00:13:49,047 --> 00:13:50,246 It's how he was raised. 378 00:13:50,348 --> 00:13:51,577 No, my truss isn't working. 379 00:13:51,663 --> 00:13:52,833 I've got to schedule that procedure. 380 00:13:52,918 --> 00:13:54,242 Do you know where Pepper is? 381 00:13:54,328 --> 00:13:56,512 He has a special place he goes when he's sad. 382 00:13:56,633 --> 00:13:57,670 It's pretty gay. 383 00:13:57,756 --> 00:13:59,639 Have you ever seen the movie "La La Land"? 384 00:13:59,749 --> 00:14:01,421 Of course. Wait, does he go to the bench 385 00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:03,297 overlooking the city where Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone 386 00:14:03,382 --> 00:14:04,414 tap danced into each other's hearts? 387 00:14:04,499 --> 00:14:06,880 - That's not so gay. - Okay. 388 00:14:07,593 --> 00:14:08,695 No, no, no, no, no, no. 389 00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:10,171 Take those things off, please. 390 00:14:10,335 --> 00:14:13,336 We need to talk about whatever's going on with you right now. 391 00:14:13,499 --> 00:14:15,622 - I'm fine. - No, you're not fine. 392 00:14:15,707 --> 00:14:17,351 You're sullen and aloof and... 393 00:14:17,437 --> 00:14:19,757 and you embarrassed us in front of KimmyLoveandStu... 394 00:14:19,843 --> 00:14:21,000 I can't say it again. I can't. 395 00:14:21,085 --> 00:14:24,038 Okay, we gave you every tween girl's dream day, 396 00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:26,249 and... and you can barely crack a smile. 397 00:14:26,351 --> 00:14:28,835 It's not my dream day. It's yours. 398 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:31,287 I'm not the same kind of tween girl you guys are. 399 00:14:31,389 --> 00:14:33,289 But we love all the same things. 400 00:14:33,391 --> 00:14:35,242 I've changed. I don't like Beyoncé. 401 00:14:35,327 --> 00:14:36,773 You take that back! 402 00:14:36,859 --> 00:14:37,991 Or Britney. 403 00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:39,279 Or Gaga. 404 00:14:39,406 --> 00:14:41,998 I only fake it 'cause you guys like that stuff. 405 00:14:42,281 --> 00:14:43,617 I'm different. 406 00:14:43,765 --> 00:14:45,226 Well, honey, is it... 407 00:14:45,504 --> 00:14:47,406 is that why you've been feeling so down, because you... 408 00:14:47,491 --> 00:14:48,905 you feel different than us? 409 00:14:48,991 --> 00:14:51,710 I don't know. I guess I feel different than a lot of people. 410 00:14:51,796 --> 00:14:55,629 Well, sweetie, that is one thing your dad and I can relate to. 411 00:14:55,714 --> 00:14:58,788 I guess, well, that's the great thing about having two gay dads. 412 00:14:58,874 --> 00:15:01,134 We... We know what it feels like to be an outsider. 413 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:02,585 Okay, but here's what happens. 414 00:15:02,671 --> 00:15:05,546 You start... finding people who don't quite fit in, 415 00:15:05,632 --> 00:15:08,234 and you start not fitting in together. 416 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:09,491 We never want you to feel like 417 00:15:09,577 --> 00:15:11,296 you have to be someone else for us. 418 00:15:11,382 --> 00:15:12,946 - Never. - I mean... 419 00:15:13,031 --> 00:15:14,952 What is this music you're always listening to? 420 00:15:15,038 --> 00:15:16,163 - Come on. Let us in. - Yeah. 421 00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,905 Okay. I like this. 422 00:15:17,991 --> 00:15:19,086 - Okay. - Let's put it on, 423 00:15:19,171 --> 00:15:20,554 - All right. Here we go. - Huh? 424 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:25,710 ♪ Where's your sanity? ♪ 425 00:15:25,977 --> 00:15:26,843 - Fun! - Yeah. 426 00:15:26,945 --> 00:15:28,515 Yeah, yeah, I like it. 427 00:15:29,047 --> 00:15:31,366 - She's gonna kill us someday. - Mm-hmm. 428 00:15:32,817 --> 00:15:35,109 Hey. I just want to say, I really appreciate 429 00:15:35,195 --> 00:15:37,031 you wanting to save Stella like that. 430 00:15:37,189 --> 00:15:39,288 Well, Stella is not the only one that choose you. 431 00:15:39,374 --> 00:15:40,834 I choose you every day, 432 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:42,945 and I love her more than I show. 433 00:15:43,828 --> 00:15:46,078 Okay, sweetheart. Let's get you inside. 434 00:15:46,164 --> 00:15:48,364 I'll throw on a couple of steaks for both of us. 435 00:15:50,235 --> 00:15:51,390 What the hell dog is this? 436 00:15:51,522 --> 00:15:53,366 - It's Stella. - No, it's not. 437 00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:55,652 Eight years, you don't recognize our dog? 438 00:15:55,738 --> 00:15:58,530 Well, 10 years, and you don't notice one haircut? 439 00:15:59,945 --> 00:16:03,054 By the time we got through to the vet, the surgery was over. 440 00:16:03,140 --> 00:16:04,265 And Stella was fine. 441 00:16:04,351 --> 00:16:06,366 I just have to say Gloria really stepped up 442 00:16:06,452 --> 00:16:08,101 and nursed my baby back to health. 443 00:16:08,288 --> 00:16:09,859 Only one problem. 444 00:16:10,483 --> 00:16:11,814 Stella choose me now. 445 00:16:11,936 --> 00:16:13,939 It's not real. You give her pain meds. 446 00:16:14,025 --> 00:16:16,140 It's like she's sucking up to her dealer. 447 00:16:17,093 --> 00:16:18,202 Hi, Bill. 448 00:16:18,288 --> 00:16:19,343 - Hey. - Come on in. 449 00:16:19,429 --> 00:16:21,715 Thanks. Is, uh, Mr. Dunphy around, too? 450 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,085 Uh, no, he's probably on his way back, 451 00:16:24,171 --> 00:16:25,617 and we should definitely wait for him. 452 00:16:25,702 --> 00:16:27,492 Oh. I actually have to get to work pretty soon. 453 00:16:27,577 --> 00:16:29,149 Do you think maybe you could just speak for the both of you? 454 00:16:29,234 --> 00:16:32,008 Nope. Phil is very opinionated. 455 00:16:32,171 --> 00:16:34,944 And strict. "What I say goes around here." 456 00:16:35,046 --> 00:16:36,997 He's a very scary customer. 457 00:16:37,491 --> 00:16:39,266 Okay. I don't really have a choice here. 458 00:16:39,351 --> 00:16:40,452 Mm-hmm. 459 00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:44,153 Mr. and Mrs. Dunphy... 460 00:16:44,460 --> 00:16:47,288 would you be willing to take a chance on a guy like me 461 00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:49,609 - and let me... - Alex is too young to get married. 462 00:16:49,788 --> 00:16:51,878 I'm sorry. Phil, who is very quick to anger, 463 00:16:51,963 --> 00:16:53,029 would never allow it. 464 00:16:53,186 --> 00:16:55,186 Oh, I wasn't asking to marry Alex. 465 00:16:57,068 --> 00:16:59,206 What... What's happening? 466 00:16:59,472 --> 00:17:00,706 And then it got weirder. 467 00:17:00,972 --> 00:17:02,489 - Ladies and gentlemen... - Hmm? 468 00:17:02,574 --> 00:17:05,125 I give you my new invention, 469 00:17:05,284 --> 00:17:08,662 the Pull-Yourself-Up- By-Your-Bootstraps-TM. 470 00:17:08,839 --> 00:17:10,399 How many times has this happened to you? 471 00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:11,965 You're in bed, asleep. 472 00:17:12,089 --> 00:17:13,400 All of a sudden... 473 00:17:13,870 --> 00:17:14,884 Oh, no. 474 00:17:15,042 --> 00:17:17,394 It's an earthquake. No time to get dressed. 475 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:20,964 I'm gonna have to run out into the street naked again. 476 00:17:21,058 --> 00:17:22,992 - Huh. - Unless... 477 00:17:23,094 --> 00:17:24,284 Oh. 478 00:17:28,967 --> 00:17:30,333 And I'm out the door in seconds. 479 00:17:30,435 --> 00:17:32,337 - Oh, okay. - That's it? 480 00:17:32,431 --> 00:17:34,821 You didn't come to ask for my hand in marriage? 481 00:17:34,906 --> 00:17:36,572 Wh... Of course not. 482 00:17:36,675 --> 00:17:37,524 What do you mean, "of course not"? 483 00:17:37,609 --> 00:17:38,782 What are we doing, Bill? 484 00:17:38,868 --> 00:17:39,777 Honey, take the win. 485 00:17:39,878 --> 00:17:41,394 Okay, first of all, 486 00:17:41,571 --> 00:17:43,790 you're a super smart, independent woman 487 00:17:43,876 --> 00:17:45,384 with an amazing future ahead of you. 488 00:17:45,470 --> 00:17:46,533 Why would you want to get married right now? 489 00:17:46,618 --> 00:17:47,534 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So, what were you doing 490 00:17:47,619 --> 00:17:49,001 in that jewelry store yesterday? 491 00:17:49,087 --> 00:17:50,770 I was getting a battery for my watch. 492 00:17:50,939 --> 00:17:53,173 - How did you know I was in a jewelry store? - And what about that text you s... 493 00:17:53,258 --> 00:17:54,181 For what it's worth, 494 00:17:54,267 --> 00:17:56,742 if that's what I thought you wanted, I would propose today. 495 00:17:56,937 --> 00:17:59,438 - Hmm. - I'm pretty sure you're my forever someone. 496 00:17:59,844 --> 00:18:01,352 Really? 497 00:18:01,595 --> 00:18:03,495 Alexandra Dunphy... 498 00:18:03,668 --> 00:18:05,201 - would you... - Mom! 499 00:18:05,303 --> 00:18:07,337 Okay, everybody up. All right. 500 00:18:07,439 --> 00:18:09,453 There we go. A lot of fires to put out. 501 00:18:09,539 --> 00:18:10,957 Next time, I'll get to the end. 502 00:18:11,102 --> 00:18:12,883 Next time, I might be ready. 503 00:18:13,318 --> 00:18:16,619 Ugh. Not a fan of liberated Alex. 504 00:18:18,416 --> 00:18:19,821 Ugh. 505 00:18:23,634 --> 00:18:25,047 Lovely night. 506 00:18:25,924 --> 00:18:27,440 What are you doing here? 507 00:18:27,525 --> 00:18:29,680 I called Ronaldo looking for you. 508 00:18:33,242 --> 00:18:34,914 I come to this place 509 00:18:34,999 --> 00:18:37,571 when life turns out not to be a musical. 510 00:18:38,069 --> 00:18:39,286 I'm up here a lot. 511 00:18:39,406 --> 00:18:41,125 I'm sorry I yelled at you. 512 00:18:41,306 --> 00:18:44,813 Well, Phil, you're not the first person to find me a tad trying. 513 00:18:45,076 --> 00:18:48,258 This may shock you, but I don't have many friends. 514 00:18:51,483 --> 00:18:53,366 Express some shock, Phil. 515 00:18:53,451 --> 00:18:55,094 But you have tons of friends. 516 00:18:55,420 --> 00:18:57,102 Mitch and Cam love you. 517 00:18:57,355 --> 00:19:00,211 Yeah, they're okay in small doses. 518 00:19:00,784 --> 00:19:02,805 And a straight-guy friend, never. 519 00:19:03,250 --> 00:19:05,430 A lot of straight guys find me... 520 00:19:05,663 --> 00:19:07,422 - Annoying? - Intimidating. 521 00:19:07,508 --> 00:19:10,164 Wait for me to finish. This isn't Mad Libs. 522 00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:12,977 Don't you believe that I like you, though, Pepper? 523 00:19:13,086 --> 00:19:15,391 I want to, but maybe I'm just a big, 524 00:19:15,477 --> 00:19:17,555 fat mother's purse to you. 525 00:19:19,172 --> 00:19:20,694 I'm your friend, Pepper. 526 00:19:20,779 --> 00:19:22,360 What are you doing? 527 00:19:22,446 --> 00:19:24,701 This is a yellow suit! 528 00:19:24,849 --> 00:19:26,406 ♪ Till the end, Pepper ♪ 529 00:19:26,492 --> 00:19:27,953 You're making a scene! 530 00:19:28,286 --> 00:19:30,470 ♪ I know that old line ♪ 531 00:19:30,727 --> 00:19:35,375 ♪ But as soon as I sign, he'll toss me aside like ♪ 532 00:19:35,610 --> 00:19:37,493 ♪ Yesterday's wine ♪ 533 00:19:37,595 --> 00:19:40,430 ♪ My heart's on my sleeve ♪ 534 00:19:40,532 --> 00:19:43,094 ♪ I want to believe ♪ 535 00:19:43,211 --> 00:19:45,018 This is weird. We're people! 536 00:19:45,103 --> 00:19:46,119 Look. 537 00:19:46,204 --> 00:19:47,720 The only way you're ever gonna find out 538 00:19:47,805 --> 00:19:49,705 if we're friends is if you buy that house 539 00:19:49,808 --> 00:19:51,191 and see if I stick around. 540 00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:53,778 Seems like an expensive experiment. 541 00:19:54,618 --> 00:19:57,856 Sign the offer... if you love the house. 542 00:19:58,052 --> 00:19:59,271 Either that or fire me. 543 00:19:59,396 --> 00:20:01,153 It's the only way you're gonna know. 544 00:20:07,725 --> 00:20:09,142 - My heart is in your... - I'll see you. 545 00:20:09,227 --> 00:20:11,083 I knew it. Assassin! 546 00:20:11,169 --> 00:20:12,962 I'm messing with you. 547 00:20:13,064 --> 00:20:14,964 That's what I do with my friends. 548 00:20:15,066 --> 00:20:18,130 Oh. I see. Delightful. 549 00:20:18,247 --> 00:20:20,286 I'm new at straight chummery. 550 00:20:25,243 --> 00:20:27,602 Stop checking your watch, Phil. 551 00:20:32,711 --> 00:20:34,187 Oh, no! 552 00:20:34,509 --> 00:20:35,976 It's the big one! 553 00:20:36,304 --> 00:20:38,046 And I'm not dressed! 554 00:20:38,522 --> 00:20:40,203 Grab the earthquake kit! 555 00:20:40,716 --> 00:20:43,695 Everybody, get under a table! 556 00:20:45,008 --> 00:20:47,382 There's cash in the freezer! 557 00:20:50,714 --> 00:20:53,257 Honey, we got to get in on this. 558 00:20:53,692 --> 00:20:56,359 Ah. My high-school boyfriend could have used that. 559 00:20:57,297 --> 00:20:58,429 You ruined it.