1
00:00:00,508 --> 00:00:02,156
Okay.
2
00:00:03,574 --> 00:00:05,132
Screwdriver?
3
00:00:08,625 --> 00:00:09,867
Oh, no.
4
00:00:11,070 --> 00:00:12,795
Backup screwdriver.
5
00:00:13,453 --> 00:00:16,530
I come from a long line of handy men.
6
00:00:16,555 --> 00:00:18,383
My dad used to fix everything...
7
00:00:18,408 --> 00:00:20,576
lawnmowers, cars, our cat.
8
00:00:20,601 --> 00:00:22,491
So it made sense that I
tackled the clothes dryer
9
00:00:22,516 --> 00:00:24,816
after the repair guy
tried to rip me off.
10
00:00:24,884 --> 00:00:26,560
I'm not paying $350
11
00:00:26,585 --> 00:00:28,975
for a moisture sensor that costs $28.
12
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:30,199
I'll fix it myself.
13
00:00:30,224 --> 00:00:31,665
It's a complicated job.
14
00:00:31,690 --> 00:00:33,835
- You know what I did back in Russia?
- Yeah, yeah, I know.
15
00:00:33,860 --> 00:00:36,082
You were a doctor or a scientist.
16
00:00:36,107 --> 00:00:37,415
- I fixed dryers.
- Oh.
17
00:00:37,517 --> 00:00:39,584
I've been doing this a
long time is my point.
18
00:00:39,609 --> 00:00:42,593
Well, Yuri, Phil Dunphy is no pushover.
19
00:00:42,829 --> 00:00:45,126
I'm afraid it's a hard nyet.
20
00:00:48,665 --> 00:00:49,961
I guess these are clean enough.
21
00:00:49,986 --> 00:00:52,373
I'll have this thing
running in no time, honey.
22
00:00:52,398 --> 00:00:54,016
I have an instructional video,
23
00:00:54,041 --> 00:00:56,878
and I'm labeling each
part as I take it out.
24
00:00:56,903 --> 00:00:59,112
"Right-back corner.
25
00:00:59,137 --> 00:01:02,338
"Tiny elbow-y thingy.
26
00:01:02,409 --> 00:01:05,244
"My right. Dryer left."
27
00:01:05,269 --> 00:01:06,870
Can't you do this somewhere else?
28
00:01:06,895 --> 00:01:09,262
Right, the dryer's the one
that needs to get its own place.
29
00:01:09,287 --> 00:01:11,831
Honey, you have to be up anyhow.
We've got our cooking class.
30
00:01:11,856 --> 00:01:13,732
I want to get there early
and grab a stove up front.
31
00:01:13,757 --> 00:01:15,378
Oh, my God, Mom. You and that chef.
32
00:01:15,403 --> 00:01:16,933
Keep it in your apron.
33
00:01:17,434 --> 00:01:19,734
Mom's obsessed with this
TV chef Charles Dumont.
34
00:01:19,759 --> 00:01:21,456
She watches his show every day.
35
00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:23,581
Not sure she listens, though.
36
00:01:23,644 --> 00:01:24,909
A pinch of sugar,
37
00:01:24,934 --> 00:01:27,668
and your taste buds will
surrender like the French.
38
00:01:27,903 --> 00:01:30,070
I'm sorry, that joke
was a little fromage-y.
39
00:01:30,172 --> 00:01:31,901
- Did he say salt?
- Sugar.
40
00:01:31,926 --> 00:01:34,078
Mmm! I'd love to give him some sugar.
41
00:01:34,103 --> 00:01:36,923
But I'm pretty sure he
said salt here, baby.
42
00:01:36,948 --> 00:01:38,122
- Take taste.
- Oh, no. Aah!
43
00:01:38,147 --> 00:01:39,431
- Mmm?
- Hmm! Yeah.
44
00:01:39,456 --> 00:01:41,276
- Yeah? Yeah.
- That's got something in it.
45
00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:43,060
- Oh, almost out of cookin' juice.
- Mm-hmm.
46
00:01:43,085 --> 00:01:45,686
All right, the next
step is very important.
47
00:01:45,711 --> 00:01:46,908
You sure you don't want to pause it?
48
00:01:46,933 --> 00:01:48,323
Oh, no, I'm good.
49
00:01:48,831 --> 00:01:50,224
- We got to fix this.
- Mm-hmm
50
00:01:50,249 --> 00:01:51,831
We can't tell her how bad her food is
51
00:01:51,856 --> 00:01:53,671
because that would destroy her.
52
00:01:53,696 --> 00:01:56,081
So when I found out Chef
Dumont was coming to town,
53
00:01:56,106 --> 00:01:58,974
I signed us up for his
class, so he could do it.
54
00:02:01,972 --> 00:02:03,105
- Whoa!
- I know.
55
00:02:03,130 --> 00:02:04,607
Pretty intense, huh?
56
00:02:04,632 --> 00:02:06,940
Now I just grab the sensor
57
00:02:07,042 --> 00:02:09,620
and put it...
58
00:02:09,667 --> 00:02:11,276
Oh, a little linty.
59
00:02:12,396 --> 00:02:14,558
I probably should have emptied...
60
00:02:15,785 --> 00:02:17,284
Aah! Are the parts okay?
61
00:02:17,386 --> 00:02:19,286
- Yeah, they're fine.
- Oh, thank God.
62
00:02:19,388 --> 00:02:20,654
I don't know... Ow!
63
00:02:29,769 --> 00:02:34,246
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com
64
00:02:36,711 --> 00:02:38,655
All right, Joe. Fire it in here, buddy.
65
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,206
Ooh! Yes!
66
00:02:40,231 --> 00:02:42,023
Good. Now I don't have
to tell another son
67
00:02:42,048 --> 00:02:43,758
that some boys have different gifts.
68
00:02:43,783 --> 00:02:45,082
Good job there, slugger.
69
00:02:45,107 --> 00:02:47,238
What the hell's going on here, Gloria?
70
00:02:47,263 --> 00:02:49,741
I feel like I died. I'm
watching my family as a ghost.
71
00:02:49,766 --> 00:02:51,101
Don't be silly. If that happened,
72
00:02:51,142 --> 00:02:53,240
I would have changed all this furniture.
73
00:02:53,265 --> 00:02:55,617
I hired Coach Gary.
74
00:02:55,642 --> 00:02:57,914
He's gonna teach Joe how to throw.
75
00:02:57,939 --> 00:03:00,617
Joe is the worst in his team.
76
00:03:00,642 --> 00:03:02,475
I hear you!
77
00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:04,222
Your son's in good hands, Jay.
78
00:03:04,247 --> 00:03:06,726
I led my team to the
championship last year.
79
00:03:06,751 --> 00:03:09,459
We weren't supposed to keep
score, but I did in my head.
80
00:03:09,484 --> 00:03:10,545
This is crazy.
81
00:03:10,570 --> 00:03:13,039
A kid's supposed to learn
this stuff from his dad...
82
00:03:13,064 --> 00:03:15,197
baseball, how to drive a car,
83
00:03:15,222 --> 00:03:16,586
how to fight a guy from Jersey.
84
00:03:16,611 --> 00:03:17,743
If you think you took his knife...
85
00:03:17,768 --> 00:03:19,164
He's got another one.
86
00:03:19,337 --> 00:03:21,547
Joe learned to throw by copying Jay,
87
00:03:21,572 --> 00:03:24,789
but Jay throws all crazy
because of his bad shoulder.
88
00:03:25,086 --> 00:03:26,734
Like this, buddy.
89
00:03:27,618 --> 00:03:29,241
Son of a...!
90
00:03:31,019 --> 00:03:32,752
Son of a...!
91
00:03:33,827 --> 00:03:35,623
It's the same reason Joe whistles
92
00:03:35,648 --> 00:03:38,082
"Sentimental Journey" when he pees.
93
00:03:38,569 --> 00:03:40,054
You seem like a nice guy and all,
94
00:03:40,079 --> 00:03:41,436
but, uh, I got this.
95
00:03:41,482 --> 00:03:44,006
Hey, no sweat. Coach Gary gets it.
96
00:03:44,597 --> 00:03:47,006
Hey, uh, don't forget your ball.
97
00:03:51,373 --> 00:03:52,873
It's okay, Jay.
98
00:03:52,898 --> 00:03:55,990
Some boys have different gifts.
99
00:03:57,205 --> 00:03:58,772
Let me get the door.
100
00:03:58,797 --> 00:03:59,929
Okay, thank you.
101
00:04:02,093 --> 00:04:04,553
- Hi. Can I help you?
- I'm here for Lily.
102
00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:06,553
I always knew this day would come.
103
00:04:06,578 --> 00:04:07,844
Probably not what she's here for.
104
00:04:07,869 --> 00:04:09,002
How do you know our daughter?
105
00:04:09,027 --> 00:04:11,107
I don't. She hired
me for a cleaning job.
106
00:04:11,132 --> 00:04:12,192
- Oh.
- What?
107
00:04:12,217 --> 00:04:13,373
Wow. Right on time.
108
00:04:13,398 --> 00:04:15,537
Wait, Lily, did you
hire a cleaning lady?
109
00:04:15,562 --> 00:04:16,865
Yeah, with an app on your phone.
110
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:18,708
Daddy said my room was a pig sty.
111
00:04:18,733 --> 00:04:20,748
Okay, we'll double
back to that unnecessary
112
00:04:20,773 --> 00:04:22,318
and inaccurate slam on pigs,
113
00:04:22,343 --> 00:04:24,428
and I think daddy meant
for you to clean your room.
114
00:04:24,453 --> 00:04:25,818
We can't have you cleaning
our daughter's room.
115
00:04:25,843 --> 00:04:27,881
It just... it sends the wrong message.
116
00:04:28,015 --> 00:04:29,915
We get to review you
guys, too, you know.
117
00:04:29,940 --> 00:04:32,397
Okay. Now go clean your room.
118
00:04:32,422 --> 00:04:34,872
It's not fair. You guys
use apps for everything.
119
00:04:34,897 --> 00:04:36,272
No, we don't.
120
00:04:36,297 --> 00:04:37,319
Well...
121
00:04:37,344 --> 00:04:39,544
Okay, there's Uber
for when we eat out...
122
00:04:39,589 --> 00:04:41,389
and Postmates for when we eat in.
123
00:04:41,476 --> 00:04:43,242
And TaskRabbit for
stuff around the house.
124
00:04:43,267 --> 00:04:44,772
And Washio and ParkMe
125
00:04:44,797 --> 00:04:46,517
and the one where the guy comes over
126
00:04:46,542 --> 00:04:47,807
and builds a fire in your fireplace.
127
00:04:47,832 --> 00:04:49,832
Oh, LogBuddy. I love LogBuddy.
128
00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:51,842
We need to start leading by example.
129
00:04:51,867 --> 00:04:55,035
From now on, we're all gonna
be a little more self-reliant.
130
00:04:55,060 --> 00:04:57,427
For starters, I'll build the fires.
131
00:04:57,452 --> 00:05:00,587
But the LogBuddy guy comes
dressed as a lumberjack.
132
00:05:00,612 --> 00:05:02,980
I have a flannel shirt.
133
00:05:03,732 --> 00:05:04,799
Huh?
134
00:05:04,867 --> 00:05:06,053
Where are all the extra pieces?
135
00:05:06,078 --> 00:05:08,479
There aren't any. I used every last one.
136
00:05:08,504 --> 00:05:09,614
Did you throw them away?
137
00:05:09,639 --> 00:05:11,272
You can tell me. I won't be angry.
138
00:05:11,307 --> 00:05:12,827
I fixed the dryer, Claire,
139
00:05:12,852 --> 00:05:15,701
and you get to be here
for the moment of truth.
140
00:05:16,065 --> 00:05:17,471
Pull the pin.
141
00:05:21,150 --> 00:05:22,696
It works.
142
00:05:22,721 --> 00:05:25,697
I had no idea you were
so good with your hands.
143
00:05:25,738 --> 00:05:27,049
Very manly.
144
00:05:27,150 --> 00:05:29,713
I pinched my thumb with
a pair of pliers earlier.
145
00:05:29,878 --> 00:05:30,954
Not a peep.
146
00:05:30,979 --> 00:05:32,746
Luke, Daddy and I need to go upstairs
147
00:05:32,771 --> 00:05:34,321
to discuss something in private.
148
00:05:34,346 --> 00:05:37,113
Just go. You're ruining sex for me.
149
00:05:40,151 --> 00:05:42,979
Oh, we just created some
static in these sheets, huh?
150
00:05:43,004 --> 00:05:44,831
- That felt amazing.
- Yeah.
151
00:05:44,856 --> 00:05:47,979
I got all up in that dryer
and fixed the hell out of it.
152
00:05:49,461 --> 00:05:51,290
I feel capable of anything.
153
00:05:51,315 --> 00:05:53,135
- You know what?
- Hmm?
154
00:05:53,632 --> 00:05:54,774
I'm gonna build it.
155
00:05:54,799 --> 00:05:56,299
- Dunphy Tower?
- Dunphy Tower.
156
00:05:56,401 --> 00:05:57,433
Dunphy Tower...
157
00:05:57,535 --> 00:05:59,435
My first commercial
real-estate development.
158
00:05:59,528 --> 00:06:01,134
I've been dreaming of
building it since I was a kid,
159
00:06:01,168 --> 00:06:02,905
and now it's all happening.
160
00:06:03,111 --> 00:06:05,018
Well, minus the
trampoline park on the roof
161
00:06:05,043 --> 00:06:06,976
and the tunnel to my
best friend's house.
162
00:06:07,078 --> 00:06:09,445
I am still holding out
hope for a fireman's pole
163
00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:11,758
that takes you to the parking garage.
164
00:06:11,783 --> 00:06:13,783
Well, if you're sure
you're finally ready.
165
00:06:13,852 --> 00:06:15,662
Of course I am. I just fixed the dryer.
166
00:06:15,687 --> 00:06:17,120
Hmm.
167
00:06:17,222 --> 00:06:20,065
And it was the most satisfying
thing I've ever done.
168
00:06:20,859 --> 00:06:23,393
I'll just get dressed, I guess.
169
00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:29,687
Ta-da!
170
00:06:29,712 --> 00:06:31,538
Phil, I know where we are. I drove.
171
00:06:31,563 --> 00:06:32,593
You know what this is,
172
00:06:32,618 --> 00:06:34,450
but I'm about to tell
you what this could be.
173
00:06:34,475 --> 00:06:36,382
This is my least-favorite
way of talking.
174
00:06:36,415 --> 00:06:39,130
You are standing on the
site of the future...
175
00:06:39,155 --> 00:06:40,468
Dunphy Tower.
176
00:06:40,493 --> 00:06:42,286
A quarter acre of mixed-use space
177
00:06:42,355 --> 00:06:44,248
in a rapidly gentrifying neighborhood.
178
00:06:44,273 --> 00:06:46,078
Commercial real estate, huh?
179
00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:47,546
This is a departure for you.
180
00:06:47,571 --> 00:06:49,404
I thought about it
down to the last detail.
181
00:06:49,493 --> 00:06:50,625
Imagine a happy worker
182
00:06:50,694 --> 00:06:52,533
coming down from their
transit-friendly office
183
00:06:52,573 --> 00:06:54,625
for a fancy coffee beverage or yoga,
184
00:06:54,650 --> 00:06:56,322
and what's that over there?
185
00:06:56,752 --> 00:06:58,196
A doll's foot, I hope.
186
00:06:58,221 --> 00:06:59,854
A farm-to-table dog bakery.
187
00:06:59,879 --> 00:07:02,563
Ooh, Stella and I went to
one of those in Solvang.
188
00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:05,156
She got a quiche. It looked so
good, I almost split it with her.
189
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,691
I don't want you to
feel pressured to invest,
190
00:07:06,716 --> 00:07:08,169
but I want you to
know this isn't a whim.
191
00:07:08,194 --> 00:07:09,681
I've been thinking about this a lot.
192
00:07:09,706 --> 00:07:11,162
What got you off the sidelines?
193
00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:14,181
This is gonna sound silly,
but I fixed a dryer today.
194
00:07:14,206 --> 00:07:16,535
I took it all apart and
swapped out the sensor.
195
00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:17,597
Get out of here.
196
00:07:17,632 --> 00:07:19,799
The guy wanted 350 bucks. I paid $28.
197
00:07:19,901 --> 00:07:21,134
Holy cow!
198
00:07:21,159 --> 00:07:23,396
How come we haven't been talking
about this the whole time?
199
00:07:23,421 --> 00:07:25,254
Because I'm so excited
about this project.
200
00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:27,229
I-I really think this
could be a good investment.
201
00:07:27,254 --> 00:07:28,332
I don't want to hear any more.
202
00:07:28,357 --> 00:07:30,934
You're the most cautious guy I
know when it comes to business.
203
00:07:30,959 --> 00:07:33,504
If you think this is
a slam dunk, I'm in.
204
00:07:33,529 --> 00:07:34,579
Really?
205
00:07:34,604 --> 00:07:35,837
'Cause I have an offer ready to go.
206
00:07:35,862 --> 00:07:37,457
- You say the word, I hit "send."
- Do it.
207
00:07:37,482 --> 00:07:39,378
I've been looking for
investment opportunities.
208
00:07:39,403 --> 00:07:41,612
If you're confident, I'm confident.
209
00:07:43,257 --> 00:07:45,854
Because you know what I'd do
to you if you blew my money.
210
00:07:51,399 --> 00:07:54,914
All right, you are about
to get an important lesson
211
00:07:54,939 --> 00:07:56,873
on self-reliance, young lady.
212
00:07:56,975 --> 00:07:59,152
I know he's serious when
he calls me "young lady."
213
00:07:59,177 --> 00:08:01,441
My dad did the same thing. Okay.
214
00:08:01,466 --> 00:08:03,846
Okay, no more doing
chores with our phones.
215
00:08:03,871 --> 00:08:06,072
We are going to get our hands dirty.
216
00:08:06,140 --> 00:08:07,799
And, Mitchell, you're
gonna start right here
217
00:08:07,824 --> 00:08:09,088
and manscape this.
218
00:08:09,113 --> 00:08:11,316
- Really? Okay.
- And guess what you're gonna do?
219
00:08:11,341 --> 00:08:12,974
Can I be in charge
of watering the cement
220
00:08:12,999 --> 00:08:14,398
- like the gardener?
- Nope.
221
00:08:14,423 --> 00:08:16,222
You're gonna get down
on your hands and knees
222
00:08:16,247 --> 00:08:17,313
and pick weeds.
223
00:08:17,338 --> 00:08:18,998
- Aw!
- Aw!
224
00:08:19,023 --> 00:08:21,350
You... you know what I had
to do when I was your age?
225
00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:24,666
I had to crawl through a
cornfield and pick up rocks.
226
00:08:24,691 --> 00:08:26,670
That's right. I couldn't
even have breakfast
227
00:08:26,695 --> 00:08:28,233
until I picked 100.
228
00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,569
I'd strap a flashlight to my head,
229
00:08:30,594 --> 00:08:32,117
and off I'd go.
230
00:08:32,142 --> 00:08:34,542
One rock, two rocks,
231
00:08:34,717 --> 00:08:36,036
three rocks.
232
00:08:36,061 --> 00:08:37,085
Oh, my God!
233
00:08:37,110 --> 00:08:39,663
- It's called dramatic tension.
- It's called a beehive.
234
00:08:39,688 --> 00:08:40,718
- What?!
- Right... right there.
235
00:08:40,743 --> 00:08:41,755
Yep. Mm-hmm.
236
00:08:41,780 --> 00:08:43,124
- Oh, Oh, no. It's worse.
- Yeah, yeah.
237
00:08:43,149 --> 00:08:45,350
- Those are wasps.
- Oh, I hate wasps!
238
00:08:45,375 --> 00:08:47,272
No, not you, Mr. Fletcher. The...
239
00:08:47,297 --> 00:08:48,730
Come on.
240
00:08:48,858 --> 00:08:50,040
Gloria?
241
00:08:50,108 --> 00:08:52,075
Phil got me to invest in a mini-mall,
242
00:08:52,100 --> 00:08:53,307
so you might want to dial back
243
00:08:53,332 --> 00:08:54,988
on the shoe purchases for a while.
244
00:08:55,013 --> 00:08:56,831
One second, one second.
245
00:08:57,018 --> 00:08:58,860
"Place order."
246
00:08:58,885 --> 00:09:00,330
What did you say, baby?
247
00:09:00,355 --> 00:09:01,776
- Drawer's fixed.
- What the hell?!
248
00:09:01,801 --> 00:09:03,301
Don't sneak up on people like that.
249
00:09:03,326 --> 00:09:05,454
I'm liable to have knocked you out.
250
00:09:05,479 --> 00:09:07,861
- I doubt it.
- I was gonna fix that, anyway.
251
00:09:07,886 --> 00:09:09,978
Ay. Like you were going
to clean the gutter?
252
00:09:10,003 --> 00:09:11,570
Coach Gary did it already.
253
00:09:11,605 --> 00:09:13,041
It really wasn't a problem.
254
00:09:13,066 --> 00:09:14,784
I'm not afraid of heights, and...
255
00:09:14,809 --> 00:09:16,134
I've got big hands.
256
00:09:16,159 --> 00:09:18,065
Those are fun details.
257
00:09:18,603 --> 00:09:20,470
It's like the guy was
trying to steal my life.
258
00:09:20,495 --> 00:09:22,214
I wish he'd shown up when
I was married to Dede.
259
00:09:22,239 --> 00:09:23,791
I would have made him a key.
260
00:09:24,002 --> 00:09:25,495
Let me show you out,
although you sound like
261
00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:27,151
you know the place pretty good already.
262
00:09:27,176 --> 00:09:28,634
Hey, Jay, I've got a date Friday night.
263
00:09:28,659 --> 00:09:29,884
- Can I borrow your car?
- Sure,
264
00:09:29,909 --> 00:09:31,183
you can borrow your mother's car.
265
00:09:31,208 --> 00:09:33,291
- Who's the lucky girl?
- Rachel Caputo.
266
00:09:33,316 --> 00:09:35,346
She and Manny work on
the school paper together.
267
00:09:35,432 --> 00:09:37,266
Extra, extra, she's a cutie.
268
00:09:37,291 --> 00:09:38,333
Thanks for your help.
269
00:09:38,402 --> 00:09:40,822
Hey, I just played the ukulele.
270
00:09:40,846 --> 00:09:42,360
- You sang the song.
- Yeah.
271
00:09:42,385 --> 00:09:44,581
- Coach Cupid!
- All right, Gar.
272
00:09:44,606 --> 00:09:46,260
You don't want to miss that bus.
273
00:09:46,285 --> 00:09:47,798
Thanks again, Coach Gary.
274
00:09:47,823 --> 00:09:49,287
He's not even your coach.
275
00:09:49,312 --> 00:09:51,579
I need a scotch and
a James Bond marathon.
276
00:09:51,604 --> 00:09:52,624
You may be out of luck.
277
00:09:52,692 --> 00:09:53,992
The TV wasn't working a minute ago.
278
00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:55,437
Sounds like the satellite dish.
279
00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:58,036
Big Hands probably messed it
up poking around in my gutters.
280
00:09:58,061 --> 00:09:59,637
- Let me check it out.
- No, no, no.
281
00:09:59,662 --> 00:10:01,195
That might be very dangerous.
282
00:10:01,264 --> 00:10:03,364
Let me go grab Coach
Gary, and he can help you.
283
00:10:03,389 --> 00:10:04,409
I said I'd do it.
284
00:10:04,434 --> 00:10:05,700
Yeah, but I'm sure Coach Gary
285
00:10:05,725 --> 00:10:07,091
wouldn't mind sticking around.
286
00:10:07,116 --> 00:10:09,151
I'm getting that impression myself!
287
00:10:09,971 --> 00:10:11,518
Thank you all for coming.
288
00:10:11,543 --> 00:10:13,544
Who here wants to go to Paris right now?
289
00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:15,174
- Moi!
- No.
290
00:10:15,199 --> 00:10:16,427
We're not getting on a plane.
291
00:10:16,472 --> 00:10:20,007
We'll be transported by
these humble ingredients.
292
00:10:20,075 --> 00:10:21,626
How great is he?
293
00:10:21,651 --> 00:10:23,596
So great. Listen to everything he says.
294
00:10:23,621 --> 00:10:25,988
Look to your left. Look to your right.
295
00:10:26,013 --> 00:10:27,721
Before this class is through,
296
00:10:27,746 --> 00:10:30,784
all of you will know how to
make herb-roasted chicken!
297
00:10:30,809 --> 00:10:32,409
Ohh! I know this recipe.
298
00:10:32,434 --> 00:10:35,034
- I could make this chicken in my sleep.
- How about we try it awake?
299
00:10:35,059 --> 00:10:38,009
Let's start with the most
important ingredient... thyme.
300
00:10:38,034 --> 00:10:40,201
That's right. It's time to chop thyme.
301
00:10:40,269 --> 00:10:42,901
- He's just like he is on TV.
- Yeah.
302
00:10:42,926 --> 00:10:45,181
Thyme and chicken play
together very well,
303
00:10:45,206 --> 00:10:47,345
unlike dogs and chickens.
304
00:10:47,370 --> 00:10:49,376
Tragic story... my rescue whippet and I
305
00:10:49,401 --> 00:10:50,993
live next to an urban farm and...
306
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:53,798
Oh, my, do you mind if
I use this as an example?
307
00:10:53,823 --> 00:10:55,986
Oh! Avec pleasure.
308
00:10:56,011 --> 00:10:58,190
See how she's chopped it...
309
00:10:58,215 --> 00:11:00,104
stems and all?
310
00:11:00,129 --> 00:11:01,461
That's wrong.
311
00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:04,060
Sloppiness like this can ruin a dish.
312
00:11:04,086 --> 00:11:05,735
Oh. I had no idea.
313
00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:07,620
I suppose when it
comes to herbs, though,
314
00:11:07,645 --> 00:11:09,233
you're something of a sage.
315
00:11:09,258 --> 00:11:10,869
- That's clever.
- Thank you.
316
00:11:10,894 --> 00:11:12,126
- You can't eat clever.
- Oh.
317
00:11:17,349 --> 00:11:18,370
Freeze! Police!
318
00:11:18,395 --> 00:11:20,262
I'm a Realtor. I'm not a criminal.
319
00:11:20,287 --> 00:11:22,017
Oh, well, then you're
not doing it right.
320
00:11:23,092 --> 00:11:24,093
Hey, Gil.
321
00:11:24,118 --> 00:11:25,392
If one of your clients
is actually thinking
322
00:11:25,417 --> 00:11:27,403
about buying this minefield,
323
00:11:27,428 --> 00:11:29,626
that would be their second bad decision.
324
00:11:30,130 --> 00:11:31,797
- First was hiring you.
- Yeah, I got it.
325
00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:34,103
You're not gonna push one of your
clients into this swamp, are you?
326
00:11:34,128 --> 00:11:36,228
Maybe it just needs a
developer with a little vision.
327
00:11:36,297 --> 00:11:37,814
Very little vision
328
00:11:37,839 --> 00:11:39,469
and no sense of smell.
329
00:11:39,494 --> 00:11:41,127
I mean, this neighborhood
makes El Segundo
330
00:11:41,152 --> 00:11:42,238
seem like a Sephora.
331
00:11:42,263 --> 00:11:43,563
It's in transition.
332
00:11:43,665 --> 00:11:46,125
Yeah, it's turning into Fallujah.
333
00:11:46,150 --> 00:11:48,301
I'm out of here before I get jacked.
334
00:11:48,814 --> 00:11:50,813
- You gonna be around here for a while?
- I might.
335
00:11:50,838 --> 00:11:53,128
Maybe you can score me some methadone.
336
00:11:56,478 --> 00:11:58,109
- Hey, Bob.
- Good news, Phil.
337
00:11:58,134 --> 00:11:59,384
They accepted your offer.
338
00:11:59,409 --> 00:12:01,720
Without a counter?
Maybe I came in too high.
339
00:12:01,745 --> 00:12:03,079
Whatever. They were really happy.
340
00:12:03,104 --> 00:12:04,503
Are...
341
00:12:04,528 --> 00:12:06,743
Hold on, Bob. It's my son.
342
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:09,408
- Luke, what's up?
- Dad?
343
00:12:09,433 --> 00:12:11,665
I think something's
wrong with the dryer.
344
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:13,256
But I-I fixed it.
345
00:12:13,281 --> 00:12:14,900
I fixed it good.
346
00:12:14,986 --> 00:12:16,319
I'll be right there.
347
00:12:16,344 --> 00:12:18,868
Hurry! I think it's leaving.
348
00:12:21,189 --> 00:12:23,246
Now, this is fresh produce.
349
00:12:23,271 --> 00:12:24,471
I can't even describe...
350
00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:25,932
Strike three!
351
00:12:26,332 --> 00:12:28,466
How exactly is this an improvement?
352
00:12:28,491 --> 00:12:30,158
Jay pick that lamp.
353
00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:32,422
By the way, have you seen him?
354
00:12:41,545 --> 00:12:42,973
I don't know how I got stuck.
355
00:12:42,998 --> 00:12:45,198
I've been on roofs since
I was 14 and discovered
356
00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:48,068
it was the best way to see
into Ethel Burkin's bedroom.
357
00:12:48,389 --> 00:12:50,070
Older gal. 50s, I think.
358
00:12:50,106 --> 00:12:51,672
Today you probably wouldn't
give her a second look,
359
00:12:51,741 --> 00:12:53,407
but this was before the Internet.
360
00:12:53,476 --> 00:12:55,723
It was either that or a Sears catalog.
361
00:12:55,748 --> 00:12:57,739
Can I take a picture of this?
362
00:12:57,764 --> 00:13:00,185
Sometimes my friends
don't believe my stories.
363
00:13:00,210 --> 00:13:01,876
There's got to be a
better way of doing this.
364
00:13:01,901 --> 00:13:03,146
On the contrary, Mitchell.
365
00:13:03,171 --> 00:13:04,337
It's simplicity itself.
366
00:13:04,362 --> 00:13:06,714
I dislodge the nest. It
falls into the trash can.
367
00:13:06,739 --> 00:13:07,872
You close the lid.
368
00:13:07,941 --> 00:13:09,788
Then we just have a
barrel full of angry wasps.
369
00:13:09,813 --> 00:13:12,420
Which we swiftly
transport to a farm upstate
370
00:13:12,445 --> 00:13:13,988
where they'll be much happier.
371
00:13:14,013 --> 00:13:15,965
Ooh, they'll see my friend's dog.
372
00:13:15,990 --> 00:13:17,811
Yeah, just like that.
373
00:13:18,850 --> 00:13:22,263
All right. First, we just
have to dislodge the nest.
374
00:13:22,288 --> 00:13:24,610
No, no, no, no!
375
00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:27,592
There's one on my face.
There's one on my face!
376
00:13:27,694 --> 00:13:30,280
Don't move. I've been compromised.
377
00:13:30,305 --> 00:13:31,629
Okay, g-get in the house.
378
00:13:31,654 --> 00:13:34,288
Ow! Ow! Oh! Ow! Ooh! Bad idea!
379
00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:36,897
Ow! I was gonna take you to a farm!
380
00:13:36,922 --> 00:13:38,274
Ow! Ohh!
381
00:13:40,938 --> 00:13:43,005
I may have to change the
name of this side dish
382
00:13:43,030 --> 00:13:45,464
to "potatoes au great-in."
383
00:13:45,757 --> 00:13:48,264
I'm not hearing a difference.
384
00:13:48,533 --> 00:13:49,577
Great.
385
00:13:49,602 --> 00:13:51,225
Oh, this is... unique.
386
00:13:51,250 --> 00:13:52,516
Yes, thank you very much.
387
00:13:52,541 --> 00:13:55,257
You know how on your show
you were always taking chances
388
00:13:55,282 --> 00:13:56,467
and trusting your instincts?
389
00:13:56,492 --> 00:13:57,657
Well, that is what I did.
390
00:13:57,690 --> 00:13:59,124
That's because...
391
00:13:59,149 --> 00:14:00,749
- I have good instincts.
- Mm-hmm.
392
00:14:00,774 --> 00:14:02,694
What's something you do well?
393
00:14:02,719 --> 00:14:04,047
- Cook? Hmm.
- No.
394
00:14:04,072 --> 00:14:05,796
Uh, Mom, I think what he's trying to say
395
00:14:05,821 --> 00:14:07,757
is that you should more
closely follow his recipe.
396
00:14:07,782 --> 00:14:09,661
You know, use the
ingredients that he mentions.
397
00:14:09,686 --> 00:14:10,740
Measure stuff.
398
00:14:10,765 --> 00:14:11,964
- Right?
- Not at all.
399
00:14:12,132 --> 00:14:14,991
As I say in the foreword of my
third book, "Who Can't Cook?,"
400
00:14:15,016 --> 00:14:17,303
"Some people can't cook."
401
00:14:17,671 --> 00:14:18,872
Don't feel bad.
402
00:14:18,897 --> 00:14:21,006
Gourmet cooking is tough,
403
00:14:21,075 --> 00:14:22,374
though not as tough as your chicken.
404
00:14:22,443 --> 00:14:23,909
I can't believe I'm hearing this.
405
00:14:23,978 --> 00:14:26,127
It's times like this I
wish I had a refund policy.
406
00:14:26,152 --> 00:14:28,389
Wait a second. I have
been making this food
407
00:14:28,414 --> 00:14:30,761
for my family for months now.
408
00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:32,460
I make a big meal every Sunday.
409
00:14:32,485 --> 00:14:33,897
I'm a working mom.
410
00:14:33,922 --> 00:14:36,015
It's my one chance a week
411
00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:37,449
to give my family something
412
00:14:37,474 --> 00:14:39,541
and make up for the time
I haven't spent with them.
413
00:14:39,609 --> 00:14:42,850
Are you telling me that I
have been giving my family...
414
00:14:42,875 --> 00:14:44,717
garbage? Wait, uh...
415
00:14:45,327 --> 00:14:46,961
Haley, honey,
416
00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:48,919
have I been serving you garbage?
417
00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:50,827
Um...
418
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:52,671
What do you think I said?
419
00:14:53,272 --> 00:14:54,795
She is the best cook ever.
420
00:14:54,820 --> 00:14:55,985
We love all of her meals.
421
00:14:56,087 --> 00:14:57,530
- Hmm!
- Yeah.
422
00:14:57,555 --> 00:14:58,588
Mm-hmm.
423
00:14:58,613 --> 00:15:00,466
- And my singing?
- So good!
424
00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:02,155
So...
425
00:15:03,369 --> 00:15:04,796
Jay?
426
00:15:06,624 --> 00:15:07,964
Jay!
427
00:15:08,066 --> 00:15:09,566
I'm up here.
428
00:15:09,877 --> 00:15:12,907
Ay, Dios mío! Your time was too short!
429
00:15:12,932 --> 00:15:14,361
I'm on the roof.
430
00:15:14,386 --> 00:15:16,322
Ah. Oh, okay. So...
431
00:15:16,347 --> 00:15:18,925
come down because the
TV's working already.
432
00:15:18,950 --> 00:15:22,415
You know, I'm kind of enjoying
hanging out up here. I...
433
00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:24,141
I'll be down in a little bit.
434
00:15:24,166 --> 00:15:27,009
Hey, if Joe wants to
work on his throwing arm,
435
00:15:27,034 --> 00:15:29,301
maybe he can toss up,
uh, an empty bottle.
436
00:15:29,369 --> 00:15:30,836
Are you stuck up there?
437
00:15:30,938 --> 00:15:32,829
Stuck? No!
438
00:15:32,854 --> 00:15:35,471
I can come down whenever
I want to. I just have to...
439
00:15:35,799 --> 00:15:38,963
dangle my body out over the
edge and then reach blindly
440
00:15:38,988 --> 00:15:42,087
for that top rung of the ladder
you're not supposed to use.
441
00:15:42,112 --> 00:15:43,529
But I'll be in in a little bit.
442
00:15:43,554 --> 00:15:45,494
I got a few things I got to do.
443
00:15:45,519 --> 00:15:47,143
Got to maintain the roof.
444
00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:48,888
It's your house's hat.
445
00:15:54,886 --> 00:15:55,975
I called the one person
446
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:59,045
I couldn't possibly be
embarrassed in front of.
447
00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:03,129
- It's Grandpa.
- Don't answer!
448
00:16:03,154 --> 00:16:04,474
He can't know about this.
449
00:16:04,499 --> 00:16:06,266
We have a verbal contract
that's largely based
450
00:16:06,291 --> 00:16:08,394
on my ability to fix dryers.
451
00:16:09,231 --> 00:16:10,531
Please work.
452
00:16:12,636 --> 00:16:14,240
Yes!
453
00:16:15,545 --> 00:16:16,855
Maybe.
454
00:16:21,238 --> 00:16:22,535
What's that smell?
455
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:23,792
Failure.
456
00:16:28,583 --> 00:16:30,884
Oh, Cam, that sting looks really bad.
457
00:16:30,909 --> 00:16:32,276
We... we should get you to a doctor.
458
00:16:32,301 --> 00:16:34,101
A doctor for a wasp sting?
459
00:16:34,126 --> 00:16:35,512
Yes, let's put on our top hats
460
00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:37,137
and eat crumpets while we're on our way.
461
00:16:37,239 --> 00:16:38,772
Okay, I know you think
you're making a point.
462
00:16:38,874 --> 00:16:40,354
Back on the farm,
463
00:16:40,379 --> 00:16:42,542
every time we would
take down a wasp nest,
464
00:16:42,611 --> 00:16:43,839
I would get stung.
465
00:16:43,864 --> 00:16:44,996
Something you might have mentioned.
466
00:16:45,021 --> 00:16:47,433
And never once did I
need fancy medicine.
467
00:16:47,458 --> 00:16:48,558
Just a little mud.
468
00:16:48,583 --> 00:16:49,748
That's right, Lily.
469
00:16:49,773 --> 00:16:52,108
Daddy's being self-reliant.
470
00:16:52,248 --> 00:16:54,949
What do you think the chances
are he means actual mud?
471
00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:57,800
- Pretty good.
- Like my Aunt Dot said,
472
00:16:57,825 --> 00:16:59,746
"Whether it's bee stings or back aches,
473
00:16:59,771 --> 00:17:02,071
"a little mud is good
for what ails you."
474
00:17:02,140 --> 00:17:03,739
I don't remember meeting an Aunt Dot.
475
00:17:03,841 --> 00:17:05,107
She died.
476
00:17:05,209 --> 00:17:06,943
15 minutes later.
477
00:17:07,275 --> 00:17:08,436
All right.
478
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:09,515
I thought I'd make you a little bit...
479
00:17:09,540 --> 00:17:10,880
Oh, my God!
480
00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:11,981
What? My face?
481
00:17:12,006 --> 00:17:13,638
Is it bad? It feels bad.
482
00:17:13,663 --> 00:17:15,996
It looks a little like you
stared directly into the Lost Ark.
483
00:17:16,021 --> 00:17:17,224
- I want to see.
- You don't.
484
00:17:17,249 --> 00:17:19,243
Do you think maybe me putting
mud on it made it worse?
485
00:17:19,268 --> 00:17:22,430
I don't know how putting dirt
directly into a wound, it-it...
486
00:17:22,455 --> 00:17:23,558
Where are you going?
487
00:17:23,583 --> 00:17:25,773
To the doctor. I want
to be pretty again.
488
00:17:25,875 --> 00:17:27,207
Well, w-what about being self-reliant?
489
00:17:27,310 --> 00:17:29,977
It's my face! Let's go!
490
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,020
Whoo! Wasps! They're still out there!
491
00:17:37,341 --> 00:17:39,036
Yeah, I'll hold.
492
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:40,461
I'm pulling out of the deal.
493
00:17:40,486 --> 00:17:41,651
Why? What happened?
494
00:17:41,676 --> 00:17:44,044
I'm not the man you thought you
had middle-of-the-day sex with.
495
00:17:44,069 --> 00:17:45,763
Honey, I heard about the dryer.
496
00:17:45,788 --> 00:17:47,558
It's not just that. I ran into Gil.
497
00:17:47,583 --> 00:17:49,062
He thinks it's a bad idea.
498
00:17:49,087 --> 00:17:50,411
Your dad's money is on the line.
499
00:17:50,436 --> 00:17:51,969
I've never done anything like this.
500
00:17:51,994 --> 00:17:53,710
Who cares what Gil Thorpe thinks?
501
00:17:53,735 --> 00:17:55,825
Nobody knows more about
real estate than you do,
502
00:17:55,850 --> 00:17:59,085
and you've been thinking about
this project for a long time.
503
00:17:59,110 --> 00:18:00,484
I believe in you.
504
00:18:00,509 --> 00:18:02,480
You should believe in yourself.
505
00:18:03,230 --> 00:18:04,845
Yeah, hey, Bob.
506
00:18:04,947 --> 00:18:06,313
It's Phil.
507
00:18:06,415 --> 00:18:09,534
Remove the contingencies. Let's do this.
508
00:18:10,210 --> 00:18:11,925
Is that a fact?
509
00:18:12,220 --> 00:18:13,920
Thanks for letting me know.
510
00:18:14,423 --> 00:18:15,933
Gil Thorpe made a backup offer.
511
00:18:15,958 --> 00:18:18,056
He was just trying to scare me away.
512
00:18:18,081 --> 00:18:20,345
Oh! I am so proud of you!
513
00:18:20,370 --> 00:18:23,838
Wow. Looks like the both of us had
a little crisis of confidence today.
514
00:18:23,863 --> 00:18:25,730
In that cooking class...
515
00:18:25,832 --> 00:18:26,931
- Yes?
- Yes, well,
516
00:18:26,966 --> 00:18:29,634
Chef Dumont had the audacity
517
00:18:29,736 --> 00:18:31,134
to tell me that I can't cook.
518
00:18:31,159 --> 00:18:32,391
- Huh.
- Mm.
519
00:18:32,535 --> 00:18:36,270
Luckily, this one was
there to straighten him out.
520
00:18:36,372 --> 00:18:37,955
I'm gonna make you a celebratory dinner.
521
00:18:37,980 --> 00:18:39,198
I think I've got most
of the ingredients.
522
00:18:39,223 --> 00:18:41,372
- I can't wait!
- Mm-hmm.
523
00:18:41,397 --> 00:18:43,297
You had one job.
524
00:18:45,854 --> 00:18:46,920
Hi, Jay.
525
00:18:47,022 --> 00:18:49,119
Oh, crap. She called you.
526
00:18:49,144 --> 00:18:50,761
- Give me your hand.
- Why?
527
00:18:50,786 --> 00:18:52,541
So you can show me up again?
528
00:18:52,717 --> 00:18:54,979
- What are you talking about?
- Give it a rest.
529
00:18:55,004 --> 00:18:57,381
You come in here with
your young shoulders,
530
00:18:57,406 --> 00:18:59,092
your ukulele.
531
00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:00,641
I'm not trying to show you up, Jay.
532
00:19:00,744 --> 00:19:02,865
I'm trying to impress you.
533
00:19:03,052 --> 00:19:05,279
Why the heck would you want to do that?
534
00:19:05,443 --> 00:19:07,137
I guess you could say that, like you,
535
00:19:07,162 --> 00:19:09,317
I'm stranded in my own way.
536
00:19:09,342 --> 00:19:11,042
This is my least-favorite
way of talking.
537
00:19:11,144 --> 00:19:13,092
I got to tell you, Jay,
538
00:19:13,479 --> 00:19:15,179
I'm over the whole sports thing.
539
00:19:15,248 --> 00:19:16,762
But you just won the championship.
540
00:19:16,787 --> 00:19:19,383
Exactly. And there's
no more Dragons to slay.
541
00:19:19,485 --> 00:19:20,785
That's the team we beat last year...
542
00:19:20,887 --> 00:19:21,986
the Baby Blue Dragons.
543
00:19:22,088 --> 00:19:23,997
I'm not seeing how I figure into this.
544
00:19:24,022 --> 00:19:25,699
I want to start my own business.
545
00:19:25,724 --> 00:19:27,290
You've been so successful.
546
00:19:27,392 --> 00:19:30,059
I was thinking maybe
you could be my mentor.
547
00:19:30,162 --> 00:19:32,342
- What line of work?
- Pre-fab gazebos.
548
00:19:32,367 --> 00:19:33,463
Nice!
549
00:19:33,565 --> 00:19:35,365
Every backyard could
be its own town square.
550
00:19:35,467 --> 00:19:36,666
I knew you'd get it.
551
00:19:36,768 --> 00:19:38,234
After all, what's a gazebo but...
552
00:19:38,336 --> 00:19:39,702
- ... an outdoor closet?
- An outdoor closet!
553
00:19:39,818 --> 00:19:41,504
You're all right, Coach Gary.
554
00:19:41,573 --> 00:19:43,439
Give me your hand. Help me down.
555
00:19:43,542 --> 00:19:45,441
We'll get a few drinks,
and we'll talk business.
556
00:19:45,466 --> 00:19:47,074
Gary's Gazebos.
557
00:19:47,345 --> 00:19:48,596
Gazebos by Gary.
558
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:50,313
Gary's Gazebos and Sheds.
559
00:19:50,415 --> 00:19:51,714
You don't need me.
560
00:19:52,787 --> 00:19:54,097
All right.
561
00:19:54,459 --> 00:19:55,693
Is this you...
562
00:19:55,718 --> 00:19:58,121
sitting alone in an empty yard
563
00:19:58,146 --> 00:19:59,560
wishing you had....
564
00:19:59,585 --> 00:20:00,885
a gazebo...
565
00:20:00,910 --> 00:20:02,208
or a shed?
566
00:20:02,233 --> 00:20:03,632
If it is,
567
00:20:03,657 --> 00:20:06,091
then call Gary's Gazebos and Sheds
568
00:20:06,116 --> 00:20:08,450
because here, we only do one thing...
569
00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:09,841
sell, install,
570
00:20:09,866 --> 00:20:11,534
and service gazebos and sheds.
571
00:20:11,559 --> 00:20:12,676
_
572
00:20:13,733 --> 00:20:14,899
Whoa!
573
00:20:14,924 --> 00:20:17,191
And ask about our bird baths.
574
00:20:17,447 --> 00:20:19,513
We own 10% of that, you know.
575
00:20:19,686 --> 00:20:21,652
How much money did you
put into the businesses?
576
00:20:21,677 --> 00:20:23,644
Well, you can't take it with you.
577
00:20:23,669 --> 00:20:25,828
Well, we'll all still be here!
578
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:27,032
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com