1 00:00:01,682 --> 00:00:05,150 There is my favorite girl! 2 00:00:05,285 --> 00:00:07,185 I'm so excited about our spa weekend! 3 00:00:07,287 --> 00:00:08,487 Oh, me too. 4 00:00:08,556 --> 00:00:09,921 If you think of it while you're there, 5 00:00:09,990 --> 00:00:11,422 I'm dangerously low on sunscreen powder. 6 00:00:11,524 --> 00:00:12,657 Powder? 7 00:00:12,726 --> 00:00:14,125 You know, you won't be smirking 10 years from now 8 00:00:14,194 --> 00:00:16,294 when your face looks like an old apple. 9 00:00:16,363 --> 00:00:19,530 I just got my first perk as C.E.O. of Pritchett's Closets. 10 00:00:19,599 --> 00:00:21,599 I finished a big job for a spa, 11 00:00:21,668 --> 00:00:25,636 and as a thank-you, they sent me a free weekend for two. 12 00:00:25,739 --> 00:00:28,205 Phil's too ticklish for massages, though. 13 00:00:28,307 --> 00:00:30,007 But I am not! 14 00:00:30,109 --> 00:00:32,176 I heard it's the place where all the stars go 15 00:00:32,278 --> 00:00:35,079 to get hot mud poured into their faces. 16 00:00:35,181 --> 00:00:38,716 I just can't wait to see this one without makeup. 17 00:00:38,818 --> 00:00:41,552 You do, it will be the last thing that you will ever see. 18 00:00:43,055 --> 00:00:46,390 I remember my first big perk for a job well-done. 19 00:00:46,492 --> 00:00:49,526 I had upgraded some closets for guy who created "ALF." 20 00:00:49,628 --> 00:00:51,862 And six weeks later, I'm watching the show. 21 00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:54,932 There's ALF sassing this handsome mailman 22 00:00:55,034 --> 00:00:56,333 named Jay Pritchett. 23 00:00:56,435 --> 00:00:57,734 I still got it on Betamax. 24 00:00:57,836 --> 00:00:59,870 I remember. You showed it to me on our first date. 25 00:01:01,607 --> 00:01:02,873 - Hey. - Hey. 26 00:01:02,974 --> 00:01:05,208 Jay, you ready to watch the, uh, fight together? 27 00:01:05,310 --> 00:01:06,576 Yep. 28 00:01:07,078 --> 00:01:09,312 - Just two of us. - Mm. 29 00:01:09,414 --> 00:01:11,080 I had the perfect night planned -- 30 00:01:11,183 --> 00:01:13,216 alone, pay-per-view boxing -- 31 00:01:13,318 --> 00:01:16,151 The pride of Ireland versus a Cuban sensation. 32 00:01:16,253 --> 00:01:18,887 In the ring and in my bloodstream. 33 00:01:18,989 --> 00:01:21,490 Then Gloria and Mitchell got involved. 34 00:01:21,592 --> 00:01:24,460 Jay, Cam is gonna watch the fight, too. 35 00:01:24,562 --> 00:01:26,495 Why don't you two watch it together? 36 00:01:26,597 --> 00:01:27,697 Oh, good, because Cam was just gonna 37 00:01:27,799 --> 00:01:29,198 watch from a bar by himself. 38 00:01:29,300 --> 00:01:30,933 I love it. It's gonna be like you have a date! 39 00:01:32,269 --> 00:01:34,269 I don't know what it is, but Jay gets uncomfortable 40 00:01:34,371 --> 00:01:36,171 when it's just the two of us. 41 00:01:36,273 --> 00:01:38,941 And then I get uncomfortable, 42 00:01:39,043 --> 00:01:40,809 and I feel like I have to say something. 43 00:01:40,911 --> 00:01:42,811 Perfect. Yeah. 44 00:01:46,317 --> 00:01:48,016 Today's Hitler's birthday. 45 00:01:50,086 --> 00:01:51,319 Mitchell, we're going! 46 00:01:51,421 --> 00:01:53,988 Where is Phil? The theater's gonna be packed. 47 00:01:54,090 --> 00:01:56,424 Honey, your nerd friend is waiting. 48 00:01:56,526 --> 00:01:59,761 Who dare invoke my name? 49 00:01:59,863 --> 00:02:00,863 That's my cue. 50 00:02:00,964 --> 00:02:02,697 It is I, your destroyer! 51 00:02:02,799 --> 00:02:04,639 Hey, Lily, you sure you don't want 52 00:02:04,735 --> 00:02:06,133 to go to the movies with us? Last chance. 53 00:02:06,236 --> 00:02:07,468 What is it about again? 54 00:02:07,939 --> 00:02:10,106 The Defenders of Infinity are heroes 55 00:02:10,208 --> 00:02:11,741 from several different time streams 56 00:02:11,809 --> 00:02:13,142 that make their way into the future without -- 57 00:02:13,211 --> 00:02:14,677 Um, it's not really the future 58 00:02:14,746 --> 00:02:16,512 since the streams have always coexisted. 59 00:02:16,615 --> 00:02:19,081 Don't do that. Don't treat me like I'm a lobotomorph. 60 00:02:19,183 --> 00:02:20,223 Lily, you don't want to go. 61 00:02:20,285 --> 00:02:21,551 You'll be the only girl in the theater. 62 00:02:21,653 --> 00:02:22,918 All right, you guys should head out. 63 00:02:22,987 --> 00:02:24,286 We would love to. 64 00:02:24,355 --> 00:02:25,855 Oh, and don't worry. 65 00:02:25,957 --> 00:02:28,057 Lily's babysitters have a big night planned -- 66 00:02:28,159 --> 00:02:30,726 puzzles, ping-pong, board games. 67 00:02:30,828 --> 00:02:33,429 Are we still in that "let Manny win or he cries" phase? 68 00:02:33,497 --> 00:02:34,363 No. 69 00:02:34,465 --> 00:02:36,132 We should get going. Are we taking separate time streams? 70 00:02:36,234 --> 00:02:37,599 Sure, if we want to get there yesterday. 71 00:02:49,314 --> 00:02:52,681 Sync by gloriabg www.addic7ed.com 72 00:02:54,052 --> 00:02:55,917 Ah, there's something so relaxing 73 00:02:55,929 --> 00:02:57,595 about a bowl of green apples. 74 00:02:57,717 --> 00:02:59,650 I already forgot all my problems. 75 00:03:00,093 --> 00:03:02,695 Did you hear that? 76 00:03:02,763 --> 00:03:04,663 - What? - Exactly. 77 00:03:04,765 --> 00:03:07,566 We used WhisperQuiet gliders in all the drawers. 78 00:03:07,635 --> 00:03:10,068 Oh, really cuts down on C.N. -- 79 00:03:10,170 --> 00:03:12,103 It's industry jargon for "closet noise." 80 00:03:12,206 --> 00:03:14,572 Does that technology work on people, too? 81 00:03:14,674 --> 00:03:15,573 You're right. 82 00:03:15,675 --> 00:03:17,809 I promise -- No more shop talk. 83 00:03:17,911 --> 00:03:19,811 What is this? Oh. 84 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:21,713 Our smoke alarm went off at home. 85 00:03:21,815 --> 00:03:23,114 I'm sure it's nothing, 86 00:03:23,217 --> 00:03:25,851 but I'm still gonna call Luke just in case. 87 00:03:25,953 --> 00:03:27,853 And it's straight to voicemail. 88 00:03:27,955 --> 00:03:30,588 Hello, Manny. We saw that the smoke alarm went off. 89 00:03:30,690 --> 00:03:31,756 Are you okay? 90 00:03:31,858 --> 00:03:33,358 Oh, God. Luke's outgoing message 91 00:03:33,460 --> 00:03:35,460 is a long and vaguely sexist rap. 92 00:03:35,562 --> 00:03:37,862 Okay, Papi. Stay perfect! 93 00:03:37,964 --> 00:03:39,564 Ay. Everything is okay. 94 00:03:39,632 --> 00:03:41,833 They were baking cookies and they burned a batch. 95 00:03:41,934 --> 00:03:43,868 Oh. All right. 96 00:03:43,970 --> 00:03:45,970 Except our oven isn't working. 97 00:03:46,072 --> 00:03:48,138 Manny would never lie. You know what? 98 00:03:48,207 --> 00:03:50,875 I am gonna call for a Russian masseuse. 99 00:03:50,977 --> 00:03:52,977 Their hands are very strong from wringing laundry. 100 00:03:53,079 --> 00:03:54,811 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Think about it. 101 00:03:54,914 --> 00:03:57,014 They were very eager to get us out of the house. 102 00:03:57,116 --> 00:03:58,448 They're up to something. 103 00:03:58,550 --> 00:03:59,783 You are too suspicious. 104 00:03:59,886 --> 00:04:01,585 And you are too trusting! 105 00:04:01,687 --> 00:04:03,319 Luke's already been arrested this year. 106 00:04:03,422 --> 00:04:05,188 A few weeks ago, we caught him with beer. 107 00:04:05,290 --> 00:04:07,056 Even that's a better rap. 108 00:04:07,158 --> 00:04:09,893 I'm hearing a lot of Luke's name and none of Manny. 109 00:04:09,995 --> 00:04:11,495 You don't think Manny's up to the same things 110 00:04:11,597 --> 00:04:12,729 when you're not paying attention? 111 00:04:12,831 --> 00:04:14,531 You're crazy. Manny hates beer. 112 00:04:14,633 --> 00:04:15,932 A fruity Beaujolais then. 113 00:04:16,001 --> 00:04:17,200 You can do whatever you want. 114 00:04:17,302 --> 00:04:18,422 I'm gonna go check on my kid. 115 00:04:24,742 --> 00:04:27,743 I hate how good those gliders are! 116 00:04:33,919 --> 00:04:35,651 I am so excited. I feel like a teenager. 117 00:04:35,753 --> 00:04:37,787 Me too. Although, as Torf the Ancient, 118 00:04:37,889 --> 00:04:40,923 I have seen everything from the Great Star Explosion 119 00:04:41,025 --> 00:04:42,324 to the Seven Moon Alliance. 120 00:04:42,427 --> 00:04:44,092 Claire was right. No girls. 121 00:04:44,194 --> 00:04:46,128 - Phil? - James! 122 00:04:46,230 --> 00:04:47,062 - Hey. - What's up? 123 00:04:48,633 --> 00:04:50,466 - I sold this cool cat a house in the hills last year. - Ah. 124 00:04:50,568 --> 00:04:52,667 Since then, his bluegrass band has really taken off. 125 00:04:52,769 --> 00:04:54,602 It's so crazy. We started doing it ironically, 126 00:04:54,704 --> 00:04:56,604 and before we knew it, we were actually doing it for real. 127 00:04:56,706 --> 00:04:59,107 That happened to me in the '90s with saying, "Exsqueeze me." 128 00:04:59,209 --> 00:05:00,342 - Oh. - Yeah. 129 00:05:00,444 --> 00:05:02,544 Well, I assume from your Torf the Ancient costume, 130 00:05:02,646 --> 00:05:05,180 - and your pale slave getup... - Not a costume. 131 00:05:05,282 --> 00:05:07,715 ...that you guys are here to see "Defenders of Infinity." 132 00:05:07,784 --> 00:05:08,817 - Oh, yeah! - Yeah. 133 00:05:08,952 --> 00:05:09,984 Oh, it is so incredible! 134 00:05:10,086 --> 00:05:11,118 - Really? - Yeah. 135 00:05:11,220 --> 00:05:13,220 Hey, if you really want to be blown away, 136 00:05:13,292 --> 00:05:15,792 I've got two special gummy bears you can have. 137 00:05:15,861 --> 00:05:17,328 Just one for each of us? 138 00:05:17,397 --> 00:05:18,829 Believe me. One is all you need. 139 00:05:18,931 --> 00:05:20,931 I guess we can get more at the concession stand. 140 00:05:21,034 --> 00:05:23,334 No, they don't sell gummy bears like these here. 141 00:05:23,436 --> 00:05:25,235 Ohhh. 142 00:05:25,336 --> 00:05:28,303 You get extra cool ones from Europe or something. 143 00:05:28,407 --> 00:05:31,107 Guys, how are you not getting this? It's pot. 144 00:05:31,209 --> 00:05:34,578 Ohhhh. 145 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:37,280 I don't know why, but I've never tried marijuana. 146 00:05:37,382 --> 00:05:38,682 No. No, me neither. 147 00:05:38,784 --> 00:05:40,984 Th-There was always something stopping me -- 148 00:05:41,053 --> 00:05:42,618 needing to take care of Lily, 149 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:44,354 the figure-skating honor code, 150 00:05:44,456 --> 00:05:46,489 not wanting to accidentally tell everyone in high school 151 00:05:46,591 --> 00:05:47,723 I was gay. 152 00:05:47,792 --> 00:05:49,592 People never offered it to me, which is weird 153 00:05:49,694 --> 00:05:52,262 because in college, I was kind of a big man on campus. 154 00:05:52,364 --> 00:05:54,330 I founded a major organization -- 155 00:05:54,433 --> 00:05:58,367 the National Association of Responsible Cheerleaders. 156 00:05:58,469 --> 00:06:01,003 - Uh, NARCs. - Yeah. 157 00:06:01,105 --> 00:06:04,139 Here. They take 45 minutes to hit, so take them now, 158 00:06:04,241 --> 00:06:05,274 and you'll be good to go when the movie starts. 159 00:06:05,376 --> 00:06:07,643 Okay. 160 00:06:07,712 --> 00:06:11,847 Um, you know, if -- if we ever were gonna try this, 161 00:06:11,916 --> 00:06:14,050 tonight's kind of the perfect opportunity. 162 00:06:14,151 --> 00:06:15,617 I guess you're right. 163 00:06:15,719 --> 00:06:18,187 No kids. I'm wearing Velcro sneakers. 164 00:06:18,255 --> 00:06:19,588 Should we? 165 00:06:19,690 --> 00:06:21,490 I've always wanted to know what it would be like. 166 00:06:21,559 --> 00:06:23,525 Plus, I went to the gym today. 167 00:06:23,627 --> 00:06:25,227 I deserve a sweet. 168 00:06:25,879 --> 00:06:26,879 - Let's do it. - Okay. 169 00:06:27,814 --> 00:06:29,114 I'm shaking. Thank you. 170 00:06:30,984 --> 00:06:32,350 - Cheers. - Cheersies. 171 00:06:34,086 --> 00:06:35,653 Subtle. 172 00:06:35,755 --> 00:06:37,054 Chew smaller. 173 00:06:38,525 --> 00:06:39,657 'Sup? 174 00:06:42,562 --> 00:06:44,228 Oh, my God. 175 00:06:44,330 --> 00:06:46,096 I cannot believe we're doing this. This is so exciting. 176 00:06:46,199 --> 00:06:47,231 Uh-oh. 177 00:06:47,300 --> 00:06:48,899 Oh, God. I knew this was a horrible mistake. 178 00:06:49,001 --> 00:06:51,301 I just got an alert. Our smoke alarm when off! 179 00:06:54,140 --> 00:06:55,340 It's not coming up. 180 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:57,240 Okay, okay. 181 00:06:57,342 --> 00:07:00,544 - Relax. I'm gonna -- I'm gonna call Luke, find out what's up. - Yeah. 182 00:07:03,215 --> 00:07:05,248 Voicemail. 183 00:07:05,350 --> 00:07:07,617 This rap's hilarious, though. 184 00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:09,286 - Call Claire. - She's not home. 185 00:07:09,388 --> 00:07:10,554 We're gonna have to check this out. 186 00:07:10,656 --> 00:07:12,489 No, come on. Those alerts are always nothing. 187 00:07:12,591 --> 00:07:15,458 Plus... our crime. 188 00:07:15,561 --> 00:07:17,394 Listen, we have assigned seats 189 00:07:17,496 --> 00:07:19,563 and 45 minutes till this kicks in. 190 00:07:19,665 --> 00:07:21,630 That gives us plenty of time to Uber home, 191 00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:23,900 make sure everything's fine, touch up my veins, and get back. 192 00:07:24,002 --> 00:07:26,202 I'll set an alarm so we know exactly when it hits. 193 00:07:26,304 --> 00:07:28,437 No, you're right. Lily's there. Yes, yes. Let's go. 194 00:07:28,539 --> 00:07:29,839 Plus, we're not gonna want to deal with this 195 00:07:29,941 --> 00:07:31,061 when we're high and paranoid. 196 00:07:31,142 --> 00:07:32,508 Oh. Oh, God. 197 00:07:32,610 --> 00:07:34,944 Do you think the paranoia will be bad? 198 00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:42,994 So, how's the closet business? 199 00:07:43,302 --> 00:07:46,203 - I retired two months ago. - Right. Right. 200 00:07:48,975 --> 00:07:51,809 Uh, getting our carpets cleaned next month. 201 00:07:54,213 --> 00:07:56,180 Oh, come on. That's ridiculous. 202 00:07:56,248 --> 00:07:57,747 Hernandez has this fight in the bag. 203 00:07:57,816 --> 00:07:58,915 Yeah, it's gonna be such a cakewalk. 204 00:07:58,984 --> 00:08:00,184 He shouldn't even be getting paid for it. 205 00:08:00,252 --> 00:08:01,418 Can you believe these guys? 206 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:04,020 Hey, no disrespect, but if O'Brien's even halfway sober, 207 00:08:04,089 --> 00:08:05,922 he takes Hernandez apart. 208 00:08:05,991 --> 00:08:07,357 Yeah, he's got a better reach, better jab, 209 00:08:07,426 --> 00:08:09,293 and I haven't seen feet that fast since Riverdance. 210 00:08:10,119 --> 00:08:11,818 You guys seem pretty confident. 211 00:08:11,887 --> 00:08:13,753 Uh, care to make a friendly $10 bet? 212 00:08:13,822 --> 00:08:15,455 - We'll take it. Easiest money I ever made. - Yeah. 213 00:08:15,557 --> 00:08:16,989 You're crazy. O'Brien is a mook. 214 00:08:17,091 --> 00:08:18,291 Well, Hernandez is a palooka. 215 00:08:18,393 --> 00:08:20,026 I'd rather be a palooka than a mook. 216 00:08:20,128 --> 00:08:22,929 Well, that's a lot of talk coming from a couple jabronis. 217 00:08:25,133 --> 00:08:27,867 Cam, calm down. We're just having fun here. 218 00:08:27,969 --> 00:08:30,069 Really? That's -- That's the line? 219 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:33,739 What happened? 220 00:08:33,808 --> 00:08:35,341 Damn it! O'Brien knocked him out! 221 00:08:35,443 --> 00:08:37,476 Already? We missed the whole thing! 222 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,200 We're backed up in the kitchen. 223 00:08:39,234 --> 00:08:40,874 Sorry, guys. Your food's gonna be a while. 224 00:08:43,539 --> 00:08:44,838 I thought about leaving, 225 00:08:44,940 --> 00:08:46,460 but I didn't want to make Jay feel bad. 226 00:08:46,509 --> 00:08:48,474 I had a sandwich coming. 227 00:08:53,081 --> 00:08:55,382 I told you. Nothing! 228 00:08:55,450 --> 00:08:58,385 A little too much nothing, if you ask me. 229 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:03,740 Hey, what are you guys doing here? 230 00:09:03,772 --> 00:09:05,537 I forgot my slippers. 231 00:09:05,606 --> 00:09:07,106 Doesn't the hotel have slippers? 232 00:09:07,175 --> 00:09:08,474 I'll be asking the questions. 233 00:09:08,542 --> 00:09:10,376 How did you manage to burn chocolate-chip cookies 234 00:09:10,445 --> 00:09:11,777 in an oven that doesn't work? 235 00:09:11,846 --> 00:09:13,912 Oh, Manny meant pancakes. 236 00:09:14,015 --> 00:09:15,714 We're making chocolate-chip pancakes. 237 00:09:21,021 --> 00:09:22,320 You see? Now, let's go. 238 00:09:22,389 --> 00:09:25,591 Somebody named Olga should be salting me like a pretzel! 239 00:09:25,693 --> 00:09:27,125 Mm. 240 00:09:27,227 --> 00:09:29,227 Mm-hmm. 241 00:09:30,329 --> 00:09:31,530 Is everything okay? 242 00:09:31,799 --> 00:09:33,765 Oh, yes. It was just a false alarm. 243 00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:35,300 Well, then we should probably get back to the theater. 244 00:09:35,402 --> 00:09:36,668 Those pre-movie trivia questions 245 00:09:36,737 --> 00:09:38,536 aren't gonna answer themselves, are they? 246 00:09:38,605 --> 00:09:40,205 - Actually, they do. - Wait a minute! 247 00:09:41,741 --> 00:09:44,542 What the hell is going on 248 00:09:44,644 --> 00:09:46,944 here, huh? 249 00:09:47,046 --> 00:09:48,279 Yep. 250 00:09:48,381 --> 00:09:50,515 I smell cheap beer. Someone's been having a party. 251 00:09:50,584 --> 00:09:52,817 Claire, you're just being crazy. 252 00:09:52,919 --> 00:09:55,019 Take a look around! Nothing is going on! 253 00:09:55,121 --> 00:09:57,254 There is no party! 254 00:09:57,356 --> 00:09:59,256 Everyone just be cool! 255 00:10:02,925 --> 00:10:05,159 - See that story about the one-armed golfer? - No. 256 00:10:05,228 --> 00:10:08,996 Yeah, well, it's this guy and he's... 257 00:10:09,065 --> 00:10:11,732 Well, I guess that's it. He's -- He's a one-armed golfer. 258 00:10:11,834 --> 00:10:13,300 Oh. 259 00:10:13,369 --> 00:10:16,303 How backed up is that kitchen?! 260 00:10:16,405 --> 00:10:17,738 Hey! These guys! 261 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:19,273 Hey, you rascals. Get over here. 262 00:10:19,375 --> 00:10:20,507 We're on our way out. 263 00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:22,409 No! Don't you want a chance to win your money back? 264 00:10:22,478 --> 00:10:23,744 It's 5 bucks each. We're good. 265 00:10:23,812 --> 00:10:24,879 No! Come on! 266 00:10:24,981 --> 00:10:26,013 It'll be fun. 267 00:10:26,115 --> 00:10:27,214 Dude, you're hurting my arm. 268 00:10:27,283 --> 00:10:28,548 No, a game of Foosball, double or nothing. 269 00:10:28,650 --> 00:10:30,130 - I don't think -- - You're on! Let's go! 270 00:10:30,218 --> 00:10:31,017 Let's go! 271 00:10:32,015 --> 00:10:34,616 Phil, uh, how long do we have? 272 00:10:34,685 --> 00:10:36,083 17 minutes. 273 00:10:36,186 --> 00:10:37,585 Till the movie, is what we're talking about. 274 00:10:37,688 --> 00:10:39,821 We're just two guys seeing a movie. 275 00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,556 No one's leaving here until we get to the bottom of this. 276 00:10:41,625 --> 00:10:43,758 Oh, my God. Somebody give me a back rub! 277 00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:45,426 Manny! Luke! Get in here! 278 00:10:45,528 --> 00:10:47,328 You guys go search the house. Find something suspicious. 279 00:10:47,363 --> 00:10:49,030 Is this gonna be like loading the dishwasher? 280 00:10:49,098 --> 00:10:50,298 First I load it, then you reload it? 281 00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:51,532 Wouldn't it be faster if you actually -- 282 00:10:51,634 --> 00:10:52,834 Phil, go! 283 00:10:52,936 --> 00:10:54,969 What's so important? I'm sitting for my portrait. 284 00:10:55,038 --> 00:10:57,939 Oh, knock it off. I know you two threw a party. 285 00:10:58,041 --> 00:10:59,606 I don't "throw" a party, Claire. 286 00:10:59,709 --> 00:11:01,175 It's true. He can't throw anything. 287 00:11:01,277 --> 00:11:02,409 And if I were hosting an event, 288 00:11:02,478 --> 00:11:03,798 where did I put the ice sculpture? 289 00:11:03,879 --> 00:11:05,446 Where did I stash the hors d'oeuvres? 290 00:11:05,548 --> 00:11:07,314 Where did I hide the jazz trio? 291 00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:09,750 Good question, considering you couldn't even hide... 292 00:11:09,819 --> 00:11:11,518 the Solo. 293 00:11:11,620 --> 00:11:13,086 Nice wordplay, Mom, 294 00:11:13,188 --> 00:11:15,088 but that cup's been there for like three days. 295 00:11:15,157 --> 00:11:17,517 I didn't want to say anything 'cause I thought it was yours. 296 00:11:19,461 --> 00:11:21,194 Yeah. It was bold. 297 00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:23,629 But those kids upstairs weren't gonna stay quiet forever. 298 00:11:24,130 --> 00:11:25,730 I was one dead phone battery away 299 00:11:25,799 --> 00:11:27,499 from a conversation breaking out. 300 00:11:29,869 --> 00:11:31,503 Sure, throwing a party was a risk, 301 00:11:31,571 --> 00:11:34,506 but two hot exchange students just started at our school. 302 00:11:34,541 --> 00:11:36,274 Best part is, they don't understand 303 00:11:36,375 --> 00:11:38,176 just how uncool we are. 304 00:11:38,278 --> 00:11:39,811 Yet. 305 00:11:39,879 --> 00:11:41,378 So, we were walking down the hallway 306 00:11:41,447 --> 00:11:42,613 when we stopped by the locker -- 307 00:11:42,682 --> 00:11:44,282 Ohh, pizza day. 308 00:11:46,252 --> 00:11:47,384 Mmm. 309 00:11:49,789 --> 00:11:51,255 That's our personal trainer. 310 00:11:51,324 --> 00:11:52,956 He hates it when we eat carbs. 311 00:11:53,058 --> 00:11:55,793 We had a short window. We needed to impress them fast. 312 00:11:55,861 --> 00:11:58,329 So, we bribed Lily with all the soda she could drink 313 00:11:58,431 --> 00:11:59,630 and threw a party. 314 00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:02,253 It was going great until someone set off the alarm 315 00:12:02,323 --> 00:12:04,689 because he just had to smoke his dorky pipe. 316 00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:07,525 Dorky? Yeah, because Hugh Hefner doesn't get girls. 317 00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,962 I love you, too, Mommy. 318 00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:14,065 All clear, party people! 319 00:12:16,548 --> 00:12:17,948 I told her we were baking cookies. 320 00:12:18,050 --> 00:12:19,416 Dude, our oven's broken. 321 00:12:19,484 --> 00:12:22,019 My mom's definitely gonna get suspicious and check on us. 322 00:12:22,121 --> 00:12:23,586 That means my mom's coming, too. 323 00:12:23,689 --> 00:12:24,855 I'll get everyone to leave, 324 00:12:24,924 --> 00:12:27,223 you get rid of the beer and your idea of a spread. 325 00:12:27,292 --> 00:12:29,626 Wait. We're not giving up yet. 326 00:12:30,067 --> 00:12:31,867 The beer pong tournament just started, 327 00:12:31,935 --> 00:12:33,702 the girls are laughing at all of our jokes, 328 00:12:33,804 --> 00:12:36,772 and they think we're friends with guys like Tommy Cutahee. 329 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,073 Great party, Lewis. 330 00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:39,607 Thanks, Tommy. 331 00:12:39,710 --> 00:12:41,109 From now on, I'm Lewis. 332 00:12:41,211 --> 00:12:42,677 We're going to get caught if we do nothing. 333 00:12:42,779 --> 00:12:44,045 What if we hide everyone long enough 334 00:12:44,113 --> 00:12:45,446 for my mom to check on us and then leave? 335 00:12:45,549 --> 00:12:47,148 It's not worth it. 336 00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:51,553 Guys, when do we play Seven Hours in Heaven? 337 00:12:51,621 --> 00:12:55,089 Moving the party upstairs, people! 338 00:12:56,159 --> 00:12:57,659 - Okay. No one's here. - Okay. 339 00:12:57,727 --> 00:12:59,459 Is that your watch alarm? 340 00:13:00,262 --> 00:13:01,461 We have to get out of here! 341 00:13:01,497 --> 00:13:02,996 I do not want to be high in front of Claire! 342 00:13:03,098 --> 00:13:04,197 Wait. 343 00:13:04,299 --> 00:13:05,699 I think I'm feeling something. 344 00:13:05,768 --> 00:13:07,300 Oh, no. 345 00:13:07,403 --> 00:13:09,403 What are you feeling? 346 00:13:09,505 --> 00:13:10,404 Nice. 347 00:13:10,506 --> 00:13:12,005 Oh, God. 348 00:13:12,073 --> 00:13:13,473 Are you feeling anything? 349 00:13:13,575 --> 00:13:15,074 No. 350 00:13:15,176 --> 00:13:16,442 Then why are you leaning like that? 351 00:13:16,544 --> 00:13:18,011 I'm not leaning. 352 00:13:18,079 --> 00:13:20,146 Maybe you're leaning so it looks like I'm leaning. 353 00:13:23,151 --> 00:13:25,184 Oh, yeah. You're right. 354 00:13:25,253 --> 00:13:27,020 Phil, what are you doing? 355 00:13:27,122 --> 00:13:28,187 Still searching! 356 00:13:28,290 --> 00:13:30,156 - Anything suspicious? - Say nothing. 357 00:13:30,258 --> 00:13:32,258 Okay. 358 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:33,726 Phil? 359 00:13:33,795 --> 00:13:35,428 - Answer her! - You said "say nothing." 360 00:13:35,530 --> 00:13:37,630 - I mean say the word "nothing." - Word. 361 00:13:40,575 --> 00:13:42,942 Nothing! 362 00:13:43,011 --> 00:13:45,311 - That was so good. - Thanks, man. 363 00:13:45,380 --> 00:13:47,380 Okay, Phillip. Focus. 364 00:13:47,449 --> 00:13:49,115 We have to finish searching this house 365 00:13:49,217 --> 00:13:51,484 before we start acting weird or... 366 00:13:53,220 --> 00:13:54,220 Yeah. 367 00:13:54,288 --> 00:13:56,088 Nothing! 368 00:13:56,190 --> 00:13:58,256 That was so great. 369 00:13:58,325 --> 00:14:00,693 Yeah, I learned from the best. 370 00:14:00,795 --> 00:14:02,835 Come on, you jerk. Get in there, you son of a bitch! 371 00:14:02,864 --> 00:14:05,030 Oh, yeah, baby. Here we go. 372 00:14:05,132 --> 00:14:06,498 That's what your sister said last night 373 00:14:06,633 --> 00:14:07,366 when I was banging her. 374 00:14:07,468 --> 00:14:09,134 - What?! - Aw, damn it, Vic! 375 00:14:11,372 --> 00:14:14,072 Cam was banging Vic's sister. 376 00:14:15,575 --> 00:14:17,442 Classic! 377 00:14:21,382 --> 00:14:23,216 Oh, just hit it already. 378 00:14:23,318 --> 00:14:25,218 That's what your sister said to Cam last night 379 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:26,619 when he was banging her. Did I do it? 380 00:14:26,721 --> 00:14:28,321 You're so good! 381 00:14:28,389 --> 00:14:30,223 Yes! 382 00:14:31,510 --> 00:14:34,678 Manny, Manny... Manny. 383 00:14:34,747 --> 00:14:36,780 How did we get here? 384 00:14:36,883 --> 00:14:38,850 You're a good kid. 385 00:14:38,952 --> 00:14:40,217 You didn't have anything to do with this. 386 00:14:40,285 --> 00:14:42,953 You were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Am I right? 387 00:14:43,055 --> 00:14:44,888 But someone's going down for this. 388 00:14:44,990 --> 00:14:48,158 You think it'll be the white kid? Hmm? 389 00:14:48,260 --> 00:14:50,060 Psst! Claire! 390 00:14:54,234 --> 00:14:55,733 What are you doing? 391 00:14:55,768 --> 00:14:57,500 I am trying to get to the truth. 392 00:14:57,603 --> 00:14:59,469 The only way I'm gonna find out what really happened here 393 00:14:59,538 --> 00:15:01,304 is to get those two clowns to turn on each other. 394 00:15:01,406 --> 00:15:02,805 Nothing happened here! 395 00:15:02,907 --> 00:15:03,907 And even if it had, 396 00:15:03,975 --> 00:15:06,309 Manny's not gonna rat out his best friend! 397 00:15:06,411 --> 00:15:08,612 I think I'm gonna take the deal. 398 00:15:08,714 --> 00:15:09,912 No! 399 00:15:10,014 --> 00:15:11,294 You cave, we don't stand a chance 400 00:15:11,383 --> 00:15:12,503 with those exchange students. 401 00:15:12,584 --> 00:15:14,550 Those girls don't respect weak, little nerds 402 00:15:14,652 --> 00:15:16,318 afraid of being punished by their mommies. 403 00:15:16,420 --> 00:15:17,820 They've lived through wars. 404 00:15:17,922 --> 00:15:19,321 They're from Portugal! 405 00:15:22,127 --> 00:15:23,392 Whoa. I heard something. 406 00:15:23,494 --> 00:15:25,527 Did you hear something? 407 00:15:25,630 --> 00:15:26,796 No. 408 00:15:26,898 --> 00:15:29,398 Am I screaming right now? 409 00:15:31,235 --> 00:15:32,735 - No. - Okay. 410 00:15:32,836 --> 00:15:34,703 Stay cool. We're almost out of here. 411 00:15:39,109 --> 00:15:40,576 All clear. 412 00:15:40,678 --> 00:15:42,144 Let's just check Luke's room. 413 00:15:42,212 --> 00:15:44,880 Then we can tell Claire we didn't find anything. 414 00:15:51,488 --> 00:15:53,688 Okay, there's two ways we can play this. 415 00:15:53,791 --> 00:15:55,123 Okay. 416 00:15:56,968 --> 00:15:58,467 Okay, if we tell Claire about those kids, 417 00:15:58,536 --> 00:15:59,735 we're gonna have to stay here and punish Manny 418 00:15:59,805 --> 00:16:01,903 and the, uh -- the other one. 419 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,860 That's no good! 420 00:16:03,929 --> 00:16:06,395 I don't think we can hide our crime! 421 00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:07,664 Well, then what if we don't tell her? 422 00:16:07,766 --> 00:16:08,932 Does -- Does that make us bad parents? 423 00:16:09,033 --> 00:16:10,232 Or are we bad parents 424 00:16:10,301 --> 00:16:11,935 because we're punishing our kids while we are high? 425 00:16:12,003 --> 00:16:14,136 - We're bad parents either way! - This is a nightmare. 426 00:16:14,238 --> 00:16:16,272 - Oh, hey, guys. - Hey, cupcake! 427 00:16:17,032 --> 00:16:18,731 Do I call her "cupcake"? 428 00:16:18,767 --> 00:16:19,799 Don't worry, I'll make it normal. 429 00:16:19,868 --> 00:16:21,668 What's going on, cupcake? 430 00:16:21,966 --> 00:16:24,233 Are you guys okay? 431 00:16:24,301 --> 00:16:26,735 - Yeah. - Yeah, we're okay. Why wouldn't we be okay? 432 00:16:26,803 --> 00:16:28,170 Cupcake. 433 00:16:28,239 --> 00:16:30,672 I was so drunk, I thought they were stoned. 434 00:16:30,774 --> 00:16:34,309 Luke... Luke... Luke. 435 00:16:36,380 --> 00:16:38,279 Keeping a secret like this is tough -- 436 00:16:38,348 --> 00:16:40,081 eats away at a man's soul. 437 00:16:40,183 --> 00:16:42,183 Mom, I have one question -- 438 00:16:43,095 --> 00:16:45,449 - Why do you hate yourself? - What? 439 00:16:45,531 --> 00:16:48,366 You have one night in a spa to be massaged and pampered, 440 00:16:48,468 --> 00:16:50,267 but you're here. 441 00:16:50,336 --> 00:16:52,336 Why don't you think you deserve happiness? 442 00:16:53,375 --> 00:16:56,408 That's the mystery I'm interested in solving today. 443 00:16:56,510 --> 00:16:59,011 What is that? 444 00:16:59,023 --> 00:17:02,592 That is the sound of a party, Gloria, huh? 445 00:17:02,660 --> 00:17:04,360 Ay, Manny! 446 00:17:05,797 --> 00:17:08,598 Tomorrow's gonna be one awkward mother/son mambo class. 447 00:17:10,775 --> 00:17:13,576 - Oh, boom! - Next up, I paddle your mother. 448 00:17:14,812 --> 00:17:16,178 - Dad. - Claire! 449 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:17,947 Hey, this is my actual daughter. 450 00:17:18,048 --> 00:17:19,448 You came up a few times tonight. 451 00:17:19,550 --> 00:17:20,630 So has my "wife." 452 00:17:20,718 --> 00:17:21,851 What are you doing here? 453 00:17:21,919 --> 00:17:23,853 We ran out of games to bet on at the bar. 454 00:17:23,921 --> 00:17:27,289 Claire... there's something we have to tell you. 455 00:17:29,026 --> 00:17:30,625 What did we decide to do again? 456 00:17:30,694 --> 00:17:32,527 We, uh... 457 00:17:32,629 --> 00:17:34,662 We're g-- We're gonna need a minute. 458 00:17:34,764 --> 00:17:37,866 I told you there was nothing going on with the boys. 459 00:17:37,968 --> 00:17:39,701 You're right. 460 00:17:39,803 --> 00:17:42,137 Boys, I apologize. 461 00:17:42,239 --> 00:17:43,305 We can confirm 462 00:17:43,407 --> 00:17:45,640 that there's nothing suspicious anywhere. 463 00:17:52,893 --> 00:17:55,026 Sorry about your table, Lewis. 464 00:17:55,128 --> 00:17:56,295 I have another party. 465 00:17:58,199 --> 00:18:00,299 Oh, I knew it! 466 00:18:00,401 --> 00:18:02,200 I knew these two were up to something. 467 00:18:02,302 --> 00:18:03,969 What do you think about your precious Manny now, huh? 468 00:18:04,037 --> 00:18:05,870 I am sure it was Luke's idea! 469 00:18:05,973 --> 00:18:07,906 But do not give up on him yet. 470 00:18:07,975 --> 00:18:09,908 I know that there is a camp up in the mountains 471 00:18:09,977 --> 00:18:11,209 where you can send bad kids. 472 00:18:11,277 --> 00:18:13,678 No, it was my idea, too. 473 00:18:13,747 --> 00:18:15,179 I'm the one who set off the smoke alarm. 474 00:18:15,248 --> 00:18:17,315 I'm the one who bribed Lily with soda. 475 00:18:17,383 --> 00:18:19,250 I'm the one who put a red light bulb in the laundry room 476 00:18:19,352 --> 00:18:20,751 to give it a sexy vibe. 477 00:18:20,820 --> 00:18:23,954 You've got to stop thinking of me as your perfect little boy. 478 00:18:24,056 --> 00:18:26,424 Honey. 479 00:18:26,526 --> 00:18:28,692 - There's a party upstairs. - Party upstairs. 480 00:18:31,388 --> 00:18:34,122 I cannot believe that my baby lied to me. 481 00:18:34,191 --> 00:18:36,491 I cannot believe my baby accepted a bribe. 482 00:18:36,593 --> 00:18:38,793 I'd be more concerned with how natural she is 483 00:18:38,861 --> 00:18:40,995 - with that bottle in her hands. - Okay. 484 00:18:41,063 --> 00:18:43,398 I shouldn't trust my kid so much. 485 00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:46,467 I have to be more like Claire and not trust anybody. 486 00:18:46,569 --> 00:18:48,503 I didn't want to be right, but I am. 487 00:18:48,605 --> 00:18:50,104 So here we are. 488 00:18:50,173 --> 00:18:52,006 At least we still have Alex. 489 00:18:52,074 --> 00:18:53,440 You guys don't have any good kids, 490 00:18:53,509 --> 00:18:55,342 so who's the bad parent now, huh? 491 00:18:55,411 --> 00:18:56,811 - Nobody. - Phil, no, don't. 492 00:18:56,913 --> 00:18:58,179 No, no. I got this. 493 00:18:58,247 --> 00:19:01,581 Claire, I know why you're always worried. 494 00:19:01,650 --> 00:19:04,451 Because you don't know what's going to happen. 495 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:10,156 It's called fear of the future, or "fof" or "fotf." 496 00:19:10,864 --> 00:19:14,466 But spoiler alert -- It's gonna be great. 497 00:19:14,568 --> 00:19:18,837 Guys, I have two words for you -- 498 00:19:18,905 --> 00:19:21,273 think about time travel. 499 00:19:21,375 --> 00:19:23,808 If you could go forward in time and turn around 500 00:19:23,910 --> 00:19:26,410 and look at this moment, we would say, 501 00:19:26,513 --> 00:19:28,813 "This is all super chill." 502 00:19:28,915 --> 00:19:31,148 Our kids are good people. 503 00:19:31,250 --> 00:19:32,984 They turn out great. 504 00:19:33,086 --> 00:19:35,019 - Phil's right. - Really? 505 00:19:35,121 --> 00:19:37,154 Oh, t-then here's something, too. 506 00:19:37,256 --> 00:19:40,458 When I was younger, I never thought I would be here. 507 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:42,093 And here I am. 508 00:19:42,795 --> 00:19:44,061 What the hell does that mean? 509 00:19:44,163 --> 00:19:45,296 Oh, God. 510 00:19:45,398 --> 00:19:47,365 Look, you got to relax. 511 00:19:47,467 --> 00:19:48,832 They're going to be fine. 512 00:19:48,934 --> 00:19:51,835 People have a way of surprising you. 513 00:19:51,937 --> 00:19:54,138 Yes, you see, we had our own journey tonight -- 514 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:56,640 an unlikely duo thrust together. 515 00:19:56,742 --> 00:19:57,742 Not your moment, Cam. 516 00:19:57,810 --> 00:19:59,409 Oh, right. I'll send a group e-mail. 517 00:19:59,478 --> 00:20:01,044 Honey, don't worry. 518 00:20:01,146 --> 00:20:03,313 You're better parents than Dede and I ever were, 519 00:20:03,415 --> 00:20:04,781 and you turned out all right. 520 00:20:04,884 --> 00:20:06,049 Thanks, Dad. 521 00:20:06,151 --> 00:20:07,417 But what do we do now? 522 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:08,986 Are we just supposed to let these kids off the hook 523 00:20:09,087 --> 00:20:10,687 because we were as bad as they are? 524 00:20:10,789 --> 00:20:12,022 No. We'll be hypocrites. 525 00:20:12,124 --> 00:20:13,323 - Mm. - Like all parents! 526 00:20:13,425 --> 00:20:14,658 Luke! Manny! 527 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,359 Get your asses in here! 528 00:20:16,461 --> 00:20:18,694 Also, am I the only one that sees 529 00:20:18,796 --> 00:20:20,563 that these two idiots are high as kites? 530 00:20:22,401 --> 00:20:23,433 Mitchell? 531 00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:27,232 Oh, my God. She is still going. 532 00:20:27,798 --> 00:20:29,497 How much soda did she have? 533 00:20:29,532 --> 00:20:31,165 You know, when you and Mitchell first got together, 534 00:20:31,201 --> 00:20:33,201 you used to ask me to do a lot of stuff. 535 00:20:33,236 --> 00:20:35,070 I was new to the family, and I -- 536 00:20:35,105 --> 00:20:36,738 I really wanted you to like me. 537 00:20:36,773 --> 00:20:39,773 But I always seemed to be too much, too demonstrative, 538 00:20:39,809 --> 00:20:43,010 too dramatic... so I stopped. 539 00:20:43,045 --> 00:20:44,645 Well, I had fun tonight. 540 00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:46,547 I wouldn't mind if you still chased me 541 00:20:46,583 --> 00:20:47,848 a little bit sometimes. 542 00:20:47,883 --> 00:20:49,049 Oh, Jay. Get in here. 543 00:20:49,085 --> 00:20:51,051 It's going too fast. 544 00:20:51,087 --> 00:20:52,453 I'm -- I'm sorry. Baby steps. 545 00:20:52,489 --> 00:20:54,387 No, the treadmill's about to launch her through the drywall. 546 00:20:54,423 --> 00:20:55,357 - Lily! - Daddy! 547 00:20:55,381 --> 00:20:58,081 Sync & corrections by gloriabg www.addic7ed.com