1
00:00:00,296 --> 00:00:02,696
Welcome, everyone.
I'm Dr. Debra Radcliffe.

2
00:00:02,765 --> 00:00:05,732
And today I'm going to help you
clean out your junk drawer.

3
00:00:06,559 --> 00:00:09,593
Of course, I'm talking about
an emotional junk drawer

4
00:00:09,662 --> 00:00:14,198
where we store all the pain,
fear, anger that shapes us.

5
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Who would like
to share why they're here?

6
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This one didn't have her glasses
at the high-school auction.

7
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Thought she was bidding on
a home organizer.

8
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And what a lucky mistake.

9
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In Colombia, we never get to do
things like this.

10
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The only time
that I ever went to a seminar

11
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was how to escape the trunk
of a car

12
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when your hands are tied
behind your back.

13
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All right, everybody.
On your feet.

14
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- Okay.
‭- You know, I-I sort of thought

15
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- this was a "sit here and listen"
kind of a thing. - Yeah.

16
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Or as I call it, marriage.

17
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Where's my husbands at?

18
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It's good to laugh at what
makes us most uncomfortable.

19
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But the next three hours will
require active participation.

20
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Let's clear a little space
for ourselves.

21
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You said this was
a 45-minute talk.

22
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So what?
I was wrong.

23
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What, is there a place
that you'd rather be

24
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than connecting
with your family?

25
00:00:54,715 --> 00:00:57,215
You're really asking this
question on football Sunday?

26
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All these men here gave up
their football today.

27
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Thank you, Mitchell,
for your sacrifice.

28
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Hey, you know what? I'm missing
a farmer's market to be here,

29
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so... Yeah,
I just made it gayer.

30
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It's perfectly normal

31
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- to resist opening your
emotional junk drawer. - Mm.

32
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I address that in chapter one --
"Hey, get a handle on it".

33
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Why don't we start with a fun
activity to loosen everyone up?

34
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I don't care how loose we get,
I'm not spilling my guts

35
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to some table lamp
pretending it's my mother.

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And I won't ask you to, Jay.

37
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That kind of silliness
gives therapy a bad name.

38
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We are going to play a game
called Tiger, Rock Star, Bunny.

39
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I got this.

40
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Uh, marry the tiger,
kill the bunny --

41
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Mnh-mnh.
That's not my game.

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When I call out tiger,

43
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you will
become a ferocious tiger.

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When I call out rock star,

45
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you will be...
a major rocker.

46
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And when I call
out bunny, you will be --

47
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Halfway home.
Goodbye.

48
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Oh, yeah, go ahead,
but don't forget

49
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that we don't have a prenup.

50
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Let's get started.

51
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Tiger!

52
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Feel ridiculous.
I might need booze for this.

53
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Oh, me likey that idea.

54
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We are not cut out for this.

55
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You can't compare
yourself to me.

56
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I was in "Cats".

57
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No one's comparing themselves
to you, Cam.

58
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Rock star.

59
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Looking good, Phil.

60
00:02:06,787 --> 00:02:08,320
I won an air-guitar contest
in high school.

61
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Bet that got you
a lot of air girlfriends.

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Come on, Jay.
Loosen up. It's fun.

63
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What the hell is that, dad?

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I'm playing an accordion.

65
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Supposed to be a rock star.

66
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I think you should do, like,
a guitar or something.

67
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I only know
how to play the accordion.

68
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Pick on Mitchell.
He's playing a flute.

69
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At least I hope he is.

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Sync and corrected by gloriabg
www.addic7ed.com

71
00:02:38,948 --> 00:02:40,782
So, why did they need you
out of the house?

72
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They said it was
some sort of therapy,

73
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but part of me thinks
it's an intervention for mom.

74
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So, how's school?

75
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Well, in my
Newtonian mechanics class,

76
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we're learning how to calculate

77
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the velocity of free falling
objects in a...

78
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School's hard.

79
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So, anyways, um...

80
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I sort of did something
and I need your advice,

81
00:02:58,736 --> 00:03:02,404
- but I don't want a lot of judgment
and criticism. - And you came to me?

82
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Yeah, you've always had such a strong
sense of what's right and wrong.

83
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- You always know what --
- I have a high-school boy toy.

84
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What?! Who?

85
00:03:09,179 --> 00:03:10,913
It's Luke's dorky friend Reuben.

86
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- Ugh.
‭- I feel so ashamed.

87
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Oh, my god. You should be.
Isn't he, like, 8?

88
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No, he's 16 and 3/4,

89
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and he has to shave
almost every two weeks.

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How did you let this happen?
You go to Caltech.

91
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You're surrounded
by age-appropriate dorks.

92
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I know, but I was home
and still feeling sad

93
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about Sanjay breaking up
with me,

94
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and it's overwhelming here.

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There are
so many brilliant people,

96
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and... Reuben idolizes me.

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I guess
I just kind of needed that,

98
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- so I let him kiss me...
‭- Oh.

99
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...and a little bit of this.

100
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I'm so weak.
I can't imagine anything worse.

101
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I hooked up with Andy.

102
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- What?!
‭- Mm-hmm.

103
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- Engaged Andy?
‭- I know.

104
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We were all alone at this house

105
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that dad had set up
to be sexy --

106
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Dad made it sexy for you?!

107
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No, no, for the buyer,
but Andy and I were alone,

108
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a-and suddenly... Bam.

109
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- Bam?
‭- Mm-hmm.

110
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"Bam" as in sex

111
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or "bam" as in what Reuben
shouted when he unhooked my bra?

112
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Let's just leave it
at "bam."

113
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Look at us.

114
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I don't even know
what to feel right now.

115
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Shame, guilt, fear.

116
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These are just
some of the things

117
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we shoved in the back of our
junk drawers when we were young.

118
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This exercise
comes from chapter three --

119
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"Scary dreams, expired creams".

120
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Oh, I have both of those.

121
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This may seem unconventional,

122
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but it helps access
painful memories...

123
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- This is nice.
- ...while allowing your partner--

124
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- No, it's not. It's weird.

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You're so tense today,
my little baby.

126
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What are you worried about?

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Us looking like idiots.

128
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What?
We're superstars here.

129
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Married the longest,
three happy children,

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one with a bright future.

131
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You're right.

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We're gonna win this thing.

133
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It's not a competition.

134
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Exactly.
We have this in the bag.

135
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Mitchell and Cam fall apart

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if they've got to pick
a restaurant,

137
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and all Gloria ever does
is yell at my dad.

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Shh.

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Yeah, I'd really hate
to be your dad right now.

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Now, tell me everything
that you're thinking.

141
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I'm thinking about all that
other stuff we could've bid on

142
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at that auction
instead of this nonsense.

143
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Lunch with Larry King.
A ride along in a cop car.

144
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I heard they let you tase
someone.

145
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Jay, this is important.

146
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Dr. Debra said
that this is good for us.

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Now close your eyes.

148
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Why should I close my eyes?

149
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Because I don't like you looking
up at my neck like that.

150
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The other day,
I took a selfie from down there

151
00:05:22,537 --> 00:05:25,071
and I thought that I was Face
timing with my grandmother.

152
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I wemember my mom
went into the store

153
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and left me all alone
in the back of a twuck.

154
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Okay, do you have to do
the baby talk?

155
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I couldn't pronounce
my r's when I was younger

156
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- and the other children
made fun of me, Mitchell. - Okay.

157
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It was very twaumatic.

158
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Mom? Mommy?
Where are you?

159
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All right, I'm --
I'm starting to lose feeling.

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Oh, am I squishing your legs?

161
00:05:40,827 --> 00:05:42,226
No, I meant in our relationship.

162
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All right,
we need a game plan here.

163
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My dad and sister are here.

164
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Let's keep a low profile --
Light and surfacy.

165
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But aren't we wasting
a great opportunity

166
00:05:49,102 --> 00:05:50,234
to learn more about me?

167
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We are not gonna be
the sideshow gay couple.

168
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Okay, nothing too personal.

169
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For god's sake,
no bedroom stuff.

170
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We're representing a community.

171
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And how are you two doing here?

172
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We're very good, very healthy.

173
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- Very happy.
‭- Yes.

174
00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:02,593
Cam, would you like
to switch positions?

175
00:06:02,662 --> 00:06:06,063
I'm not allowed
to talk about that.

176
00:06:06,132 --> 00:06:07,965
How's it going here
with you two?

177
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Not good.
He's not even trying.

178
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Sounds like you're stuck
in that drawer.

179
00:06:11,304 --> 00:06:13,037
Sounds like you're stuck
in that metaphor.

180
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What's holding you back, Jay?

181
00:06:14,273 --> 00:06:15,773
I don't like
to be held like this.

182
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Why?
'Cause you feel vulnerable?

183
00:06:17,443 --> 00:06:18,809
I don't know.

184
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:22,313
It just...
Reminds me of something.

185
00:06:22,381 --> 00:06:23,981
Go with that.
You're safe here.

186
00:06:24,137 --> 00:06:25,670
I don't want to be safe here.

187
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I don't want to talk about this.

188
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About what?
Tell me.

189
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It's like the time
my mom held me like this

190
00:06:31,511 --> 00:06:33,377
when my dog ran away
and never came back.

191
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She kept telling me
they didn't know how it got out,

192
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but I knew.

193
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I left the gate open.
It was my fault.

194
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- I lost Checkers.
‭- Ay!

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I can't take this.

196
00:06:45,813 --> 00:06:47,747
- Wait, what -- what just happened?
- I don't know.

197
00:06:47,815 --> 00:06:49,982
I think he's not used
to feeling emotions.

198
00:06:50,051 --> 00:06:51,283
Maybe it was too much for him.

199
00:06:51,352 --> 00:06:52,451
No, no, this is good.

200
00:06:52,519 --> 00:06:54,452
Some people's junk drawers
are so full,

201
00:06:54,521 --> 00:06:55,653
it's a struggle to open them.

202
00:06:55,722 --> 00:06:57,589
W-was he holding
his chest?

203
00:06:57,657 --> 00:06:59,824
- Sí!
- Something seemed wong.

204
00:07:01,395 --> 00:07:03,528
Jay, are you okay?
It's Gloria.

205
00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:05,597
Dad. Dad, come on.

206
00:07:05,665 --> 00:07:07,399
Ay, it's locked.

207
00:07:07,467 --> 00:07:08,299
D-dad, open up.

208
00:07:08,368 --> 00:07:09,934
Hang on, I got a paperclip.

209
00:07:10,003 --> 00:07:11,636
Be careful.
He's very raw.

210
00:07:11,705 --> 00:07:14,005
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

211
00:07:14,074 --> 00:07:15,908
- Jay!
‭- Huh? Oh.

212
00:07:17,377 --> 00:07:19,044
I'm still sad.

213
00:07:22,511 --> 00:07:24,111
You prefer
to hide in the bathroom

214
00:07:24,179 --> 00:07:26,079
than to deal with your emotions!

215
00:07:26,176 --> 00:07:27,376
Gloria, what's the big deal?

216
00:07:27,444 --> 00:07:30,779
The big deal is that
we're raising a child together,

217
00:07:30,848 --> 00:07:32,047
and you have a chance

218
00:07:32,116 --> 00:07:34,616
to make him different
than those two.

219
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:35,587
- Hello.
‭- Us?

220
00:07:35,597 --> 00:07:36,930
I'm sorry.
What's wrong with us?

221
00:07:36,827 --> 00:07:37,993
I'd take a bullet for you,

222
00:07:38,062 --> 00:07:39,528
but you two
are kind of neurotic.

223
00:07:39,597 --> 00:07:40,929
- We're not neurotic.
- Do people say that we're neurotic?

224
00:07:40,998 --> 00:07:43,465
- They don't say that, do they?
- Yes. Yes.

225
00:07:43,534 --> 00:07:45,334
All the junk wants
to come out of the drawer.

226
00:07:45,403 --> 00:07:46,769
- Can you feel it?
‭- I can.

227
00:07:46,837 --> 00:07:47,997
No, Jay doesn't feel anything.

228
00:07:48,005 --> 00:07:48,871
I feel lots of things.

229
00:07:48,939 --> 00:07:50,572
Annoyed that
I'm missing my game,

230
00:07:50,641 --> 00:07:52,875
- joy that the Steelers are winning.
- Oh, what is the score?

231
00:07:52,888 --> 00:07:54,321
We're not gonna talk
about football here!

232
00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:55,289
Gloria's right.

233
00:07:55,357 --> 00:07:56,356
We should talk about
deeper things

234
00:07:56,425 --> 00:07:58,458
like those awkward years
between 14 to 6.

235
00:07:58,527 --> 00:07:59,660
Oh. Yes.

236
00:07:59,728 --> 00:08:01,195
When do we get to talk about
the dumb things

237
00:08:01,263 --> 00:08:02,462
that our husbands do?

238
00:08:02,531 --> 00:08:04,331
Gloria, thank you.
I'm glad you said that.

239
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,867
You're welcome.
At least somebody's helping.

240
00:08:06,936 --> 00:08:09,336
Because that kind of language
is counterproductive.

241
00:08:09,405 --> 00:08:11,071
Oh, snap.

242
00:08:11,140 --> 00:08:14,774
This next exercise will teach us
how to communicate our needs

243
00:08:14,781 --> 00:08:16,982
in a constructive
and non-threatening manner.

244
00:08:17,052 --> 00:08:18,285
We do that all the time.

245
00:08:18,354 --> 00:08:19,920
Very constructively
communicated.

246
00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:21,726
Would one of my couples
like to help me demonstrate

247
00:08:21,795 --> 00:08:23,895
- for the rest of the group?
- Yes, we would. We'd love to help.

248
00:08:23,911 --> 00:08:25,844
- How is this low profile?
- Oh, come on, it'll fun.

249
00:08:26,326 --> 00:08:27,492
- Your chair, please, Cam.
- Sure.

250
00:08:27,561 --> 00:08:29,427
Face this way.

251
00:08:29,496 --> 00:08:32,564
Now, I'd like you both
to think of a behavior

252
00:08:32,633 --> 00:08:34,933
of your partner's
that you would like to change.

253
00:08:35,002 --> 00:08:36,501
But we're going to avoid phrases

254
00:08:36,570 --> 00:08:38,603
like "you always"
and "you never",

255
00:08:38,672 --> 00:08:41,839
- and instead put it in terms of
how we feel. - Okay.

256
00:08:41,886 --> 00:08:43,052
Mitch, you'll start.

257
00:08:43,121 --> 00:08:44,120
Okay.

258
00:08:44,212 --> 00:08:46,812
Sometimes, I wish you
wouldn't wear blue so much

259
00:08:46,881 --> 00:08:50,516
because I feel jealous
that you look so good in it.

260
00:08:50,585 --> 00:08:53,018
Now, Cam, let Mitch know
if you heard him

261
00:08:53,087 --> 00:08:54,553
and if you feel you can do that.

262
00:08:54,622 --> 00:08:56,522
I did hear that.

263
00:08:56,591 --> 00:08:57,623
Okay.

264
00:08:57,692 --> 00:08:59,225
And I will try
to wear less blue.

265
00:08:59,293 --> 00:09:00,793
Very good. Very good.

266
00:09:01,402 --> 00:09:02,935
Maybe dig a little deeper
in the drawer.

267
00:09:02,946 --> 00:09:06,514
Well, sometimes when you don't
use a coaster with a -- a drink,

268
00:09:06,583 --> 00:09:08,649
I get anxious because
I love our furniture

269
00:09:08,718 --> 00:09:09,884
and we bought it together.

270
00:09:09,953 --> 00:09:13,187
Aww, that's very sweet.
I hear that.

271
00:09:13,256 --> 00:09:14,422
And I'm gonna try
and use a coaster more.

272
00:09:14,491 --> 00:09:15,456
- Okay.
- Excellent, both of you.

273
00:09:15,525 --> 00:09:17,558
Mitch, keep going.

274
00:09:17,699 --> 00:09:20,566
Yeah, so, uh... Sometimes
when you leave the room

275
00:09:20,635 --> 00:09:22,502
and you don't turn off
the lights, I just feel --

276
00:09:22,553 --> 00:09:24,293
- Seriously? That again?
- Surfacy.

277
00:09:24,358 --> 00:09:25,890
Well, I told you not to harp
on me about the lights.

278
00:09:26,090 --> 00:09:27,210
Oh, because this is the first

279
00:09:27,225 --> 00:09:28,357
that I'm hearing
about the coasters.

280
00:09:28,426 --> 00:09:29,792
Here we go.

281
00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:31,227
Okay, I don't appreciate
the smirking.

282
00:09:31,295 --> 00:09:32,495
I hear you, Mitchell,

283
00:09:32,563 --> 00:09:35,397
and I will try to smirk
when you're not looking.

284
00:09:37,902 --> 00:09:40,402
I feel like if Andy weren't
engaged, we'd have a chance.

285
00:09:40,471 --> 00:09:42,171
And if Reuben were
just a little bit older

286
00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:43,839
and didn't wear
prescription shoes --

287
00:09:43,908 --> 00:09:45,374
- It'd still be gross.
‭- I know.

288
00:09:45,443 --> 00:09:47,209
- What are we gonna do?
- We should both just end it.

289
00:09:47,302 --> 00:09:49,035
I am not killing myself.

290
00:09:49,104 --> 00:09:50,737
No!
Break up with them.

291
00:09:50,805 --> 00:09:52,372
Oh, god.

292
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:55,408
You deserve somebody that
isn't engaged to somebody else.

293
00:09:55,477 --> 00:09:57,110
Yeah, and you deserve
to be with someone

294
00:09:57,178 --> 00:09:58,444
who didn't take baths with Luke.

295
00:09:58,513 --> 00:09:59,793
I already tried
to dump him once.

296
00:09:59,814 --> 00:10:01,280
Hopefully it'll go better
this time.

297
00:10:01,363 --> 00:10:03,397
Look, I'm sick
of hiding our love.

298
00:10:03,466 --> 00:10:05,466
- If you're ashamed of me --
‭- I am.

299
00:10:05,534 --> 00:10:07,134
- Then maybe we should break up.
- We should.

300
00:10:07,202 --> 00:10:08,368
No, please don't break up
with me.

301
00:10:08,437 --> 00:10:10,003
You're the --
The smartest,

302
00:10:10,072 --> 00:10:11,872
most beautiful girl
on the planet.

303
00:10:11,940 --> 00:10:14,241
Fine.

304
00:10:14,309 --> 00:10:15,429
I'm gonna text Andy right now

305
00:10:15,477 --> 00:10:16,643
and tell him
we need to talk today,

306
00:10:16,712 --> 00:10:17,444
and you should, too.

307
00:10:17,513 --> 00:10:18,378
I can't text him.

308
00:10:18,447 --> 00:10:19,527
He lost his phone privileges

309
00:10:19,581 --> 00:10:20,914
until he gets his Spanish grade
back up,

310
00:10:20,983 --> 00:10:22,983
but I'll just go hang
around the playground

311
00:10:23,052 --> 00:10:24,451
till his kickball practice
is over.

312
00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:26,366
I'm glad we talked.

313
00:10:27,034 --> 00:10:27,834
Me too.

314
00:10:27,862 --> 00:10:28,961
This is how we're gonna stay
on track

315
00:10:29,030 --> 00:10:30,129
for the rest
of our lives --

316
00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:31,637
By always being there
for each other.

317
00:10:33,065 --> 00:10:34,664
He plays kickball?

318
00:10:34,733 --> 00:10:36,400
Equipment manager.

319
00:10:36,456 --> 00:10:38,756
Now that we're learning
to communicate constructively,

320
00:10:38,825 --> 00:10:40,791
let's put those new skills
to use.

321
00:10:40,860 --> 00:10:41,860
Thank you.

322
00:10:41,895 --> 00:10:43,628
I want everyone to write down

323
00:10:43,696 --> 00:10:46,864
everything about your partner
that drives you crazy.

324
00:10:46,900 --> 00:10:47,900
Really?

325
00:10:47,934 --> 00:10:49,133
The drawers are open.
Dig in.

326
00:10:49,202 --> 00:10:50,902
Sounds a little marriage-endy,
doesn't it?

327
00:10:50,971 --> 00:10:53,271
I mean, it does, but not for us.

328
00:10:53,340 --> 00:10:54,839
Maybe...

329
00:10:54,908 --> 00:10:56,574
Oh, huh, interesting.

330
00:10:57,439 --> 00:10:59,705
Phil, there's nothing
that bugs you about Claire?

331
00:10:59,752 --> 00:11:02,052
- Nope.
- Not even "me likey"?

332
00:11:02,121 --> 00:11:03,553
- What's he talking about?
- I have no idea.

333
00:11:03,622 --> 00:11:05,255
He says you say it a lot
and it drives him crazy.

334
00:11:05,324 --> 00:11:06,623
Phil.

335
00:11:06,692 --> 00:11:08,825
- Okay, uh, Claire.
‭- Yeah.

336
00:11:08,894 --> 00:11:10,060
- I love you.
‭- I know.

337
00:11:10,129 --> 00:11:11,662
But when you use
that expression,

338
00:11:11,730 --> 00:11:15,532
it makes me feel, um...
Icky.

339
00:11:16,828 --> 00:11:18,629
But, I mean, I've hardly
ever even used the expression --

340
00:11:18,630 --> 00:11:20,429
Me likey Sushi,
me likey "Game of Thrones",

341
00:11:20,698 --> 00:11:22,231
me likey chardonnay.

342
00:11:22,276 --> 00:11:24,810
It does hit my ear wrong.
But you know what? Forget it.

343
00:11:24,879 --> 00:11:27,080
I'm sorry.
I got nothing to complain about.

344
00:11:27,148 --> 00:11:28,448
- Me lucky.
‭- Mnh-mnh.

345
00:11:28,466 --> 00:11:30,400
Phil, never apologize
for your feelings.

346
00:11:30,504 --> 00:11:32,705
I thought we're not
supposed to say "never".

347
00:11:33,918 --> 00:11:35,851
Good catch, Jay.
Thank you.

348
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,754
As the kids say, it's
going to get real up in here,

349
00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:40,590
but trust me, after that,

350
00:11:40,657 --> 00:11:44,192
once I've guided you through
the extremely specific steps

351
00:11:44,261 --> 00:11:46,027
in deciding
what goes back in the drawer

352
00:11:46,096 --> 00:11:47,963
and what gets thrown out,

353
00:11:48,031 --> 00:11:49,998
you will be the best version
of yourselves.

354
00:11:50,067 --> 00:11:52,134
- It always works.
- Don't say "always".

355
00:11:52,821 --> 00:11:53,621
Thank you.

356
00:11:53,629 --> 00:11:54,995
Let's get writing.

357
00:11:55,064 --> 00:11:57,297
Nothing is off-limits.

358
00:11:57,366 --> 00:12:00,334
These are your private thoughts,
and you are entitled to them.

359
00:12:00,403 --> 00:12:01,336
Excuse me.

360
00:12:03,563 --> 00:12:04,629
You think I'm too loud?

361
00:12:04,697 --> 00:12:05,863
- Shh!
‭- Shh!

362
00:12:05,932 --> 00:12:06,932
How am I loud?

363
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:08,366
Well, you take in too much air

364
00:12:08,435 --> 00:12:10,835
and you expel that air
with large and sudden bursts.

365
00:12:10,904 --> 00:12:11,670
That's how.

366
00:12:11,708 --> 00:12:13,474
Oh, so you're saying
that I am full of hot air?

367
00:12:13,542 --> 00:12:14,941
No, I'm saying
just the opposite.

368
00:12:15,010 --> 00:12:17,044
- None of the air stays in you.
- Hmm.

369
00:12:17,806 --> 00:12:19,874
The lights again.
Now you've written it down?

370
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:22,190
I'm trying to stick
to the small stuff.

371
00:12:22,258 --> 00:12:23,324
Oh, well, congratulations.

372
00:12:23,393 --> 00:12:24,859
You nailed it,
because that's real small.

373
00:12:24,928 --> 00:12:26,260
It -- okay, it bothers me,
all right?

374
00:12:26,309 --> 00:12:29,910
I-I've asked you very nicely
to turn off the lights.

375
00:12:29,936 --> 00:12:30,502
Constantly.

376
00:12:30,570 --> 00:12:32,370
It's like we're Londoners
hiding from war planes.

377
00:12:32,605 --> 00:12:33,771
Why did you write down
"teepee joke"?

378
00:12:33,835 --> 00:12:35,468
Debra said these are my personal
and private thoughts.

379
00:12:35,536 --> 00:12:36,769
I love that joke.
I tell it all the time.

380
00:12:36,838 --> 00:12:39,005
- It's funny.
‭- To you.

381
00:12:39,965 --> 00:12:41,732
Okay.
Listen up, guys.

382
00:12:41,791 --> 00:12:43,831
This guy walks into
his shrink's office and he says,

383
00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:46,961
"Doc, what's wrong with me?
I'm a teepee. I'm a wigwam."

384
00:12:47,030 --> 00:12:48,896
And the doc says,

385
00:12:48,965 --> 00:12:51,532
"that's your problem.
You're two tents."

386
00:12:51,601 --> 00:12:53,001
Do you get it?
Two tents.

387
00:12:53,069 --> 00:12:55,703
That's bad, Claire.
That's really bad.

388
00:12:55,772 --> 00:12:57,205
You made her like that.

389
00:12:57,292 --> 00:13:00,276
If you let her feel things,
maybe she'll know what is funny.

390
00:13:00,500 --> 00:13:01,599
Don't care
what you people think.

391
00:13:01,668 --> 00:13:02,668
Me likey.

392
00:13:02,702 --> 00:13:03,601
Mm.

393
00:13:03,670 --> 00:13:05,303
What is wrong with "me likey"?

394
00:13:05,372 --> 00:13:06,372
- Claire...
‭- Yes.

395
00:13:06,406 --> 00:13:08,206
- ...I love you.
- Oh, then stop saying it!

396
00:13:08,274 --> 00:13:10,675
- It just seems a little childish.
- Really?

397
00:13:10,744 --> 00:13:13,277
'Cause you're the one who can't
stop playing with his pogo stick.

398
00:13:13,346 --> 00:13:14,212
- You know what?
‭- Mm-hmm?

399
00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:15,847
Maybe you'd be happier

400
00:13:15,915 --> 00:13:18,750
- if you played with my pogo stick
once in a while. - Oh, my god!

401
00:13:19,139 --> 00:13:21,420
What's sad is they're actually
talking about a pogo stick.

402
00:13:21,442 --> 00:13:23,342
What's sad is you love
electricity more than me.

403
00:13:23,356 --> 00:13:25,623
It's like we have
a deranged second grader

404
00:13:25,691 --> 00:13:26,657
bouncing around
the neighborhood.

405
00:13:26,726 --> 00:13:28,392
- When did you get so old?!
- Oh!

406
00:13:28,661 --> 00:13:30,061
I mean, I love you!

407
00:13:30,429 --> 00:13:31,129
All right, Cam,

408
00:13:31,176 --> 00:13:32,576
it's been a pet peeve of mine
since I was a kid,

409
00:13:32,644 --> 00:13:35,746
and I've asked you so many times
that when you ignore me,

410
00:13:35,814 --> 00:13:38,281
it feels
a little passive-aggressive.

411
00:13:38,574 --> 00:13:40,608
And when you nag me constantly,

412
00:13:40,676 --> 00:13:43,144
it feels like
I'm talking to my mother.

413
00:13:43,212 --> 00:13:44,378
When I have to nag you,

414
00:13:44,447 --> 00:13:46,013
it makes me feel
like I am your mother,

415
00:13:46,082 --> 00:13:47,348
which could be
why it's been a month

416
00:13:47,417 --> 00:13:49,050
since we played with
each other's pogo sticks.

417
00:13:49,118 --> 00:13:49,850
- Oh.
- Ay.

418
00:13:49,919 --> 00:13:52,153
Oh, my god!

419
00:13:52,549 --> 00:13:53,949
How do you think we feel, Mitchell?!

420
00:13:54,017 --> 00:13:54,917
Oh!

421
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:57,253
Miss, this is not going the way
it should be.

422
00:13:57,499 --> 00:13:59,165
Why don't you tell us
how to fix this?

423
00:13:59,234 --> 00:14:00,567
I'm so sorry.
I have to go.

424
00:14:00,635 --> 00:14:02,168
No, no, no!

425
00:14:02,237 --> 00:14:03,837
You have to help us
put this back together!

426
00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:05,010
It's a family emergency.

427
00:14:05,079 --> 00:14:06,779
Trust me, it cannot be
as bad as this one.

428
00:14:07,715 --> 00:14:09,048
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry!

429
00:14:09,117 --> 00:14:10,317
But I have to go pick up my son

430
00:14:10,351 --> 00:14:12,218
because my idiot ex-husband
loaned his car

431
00:14:12,286 --> 00:14:13,552
to his latest Tinder whore.

432
00:14:13,621 --> 00:14:14,820
We paid good money for this.

433
00:14:14,934 --> 00:14:17,001
No, it was only $84.

434
00:14:17,069 --> 00:14:18,102
Excuse me?

435
00:14:18,171 --> 00:14:20,404
I would've paid more,
but nobody else was bidding.

436
00:14:20,473 --> 00:14:22,740
That's great.

437
00:14:22,809 --> 00:14:24,575
You know what?
I deserve it.

438
00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:28,248
This is what you get for dumbing
down 30 years of research

439
00:14:28,317 --> 00:14:31,618
for a trite analogy
of a junk drawer.

440
00:14:31,687 --> 00:14:33,019
Just because my editor told me

441
00:14:33,088 --> 00:14:34,488
it would get me
on the "Ellen" show.

442
00:14:34,556 --> 00:14:35,556
You were on "Ellen"?

443
00:14:35,591 --> 00:14:37,123
Oh, yeah, yeah.

444
00:14:37,192 --> 00:14:38,959
I danced my way
into America's heart,

445
00:14:39,027 --> 00:14:42,028
and that's why I'm stuck here on
a Sunday afternoon for 80 bucks.

446
00:14:42,097 --> 00:14:43,897
Wait.
You can't leave now.

447
00:14:44,933 --> 00:14:46,299
All our junk is out!

448
00:14:52,593 --> 00:14:54,060
- Hey.
‭- Hey.

449
00:14:54,429 --> 00:14:55,961
That's a cool shirt.
You look nice.

450
00:14:56,125 --> 00:14:57,525
I have to cut you off
right there.

451
00:14:57,593 --> 00:14:59,059
The shirt stays on.

452
00:14:59,128 --> 00:15:00,895
I have to hang up
on this booty call.

453
00:15:00,963 --> 00:15:01,929
Wait, what?

454
00:15:01,963 --> 00:15:04,397
You and me, this --
This has to stop.

455
00:15:04,465 --> 00:15:06,699
I'm so racked with guilt.

456
00:15:06,768 --> 00:15:08,448
I keep giving money
to different charities.

457
00:15:08,503 --> 00:15:11,937
I even fronted a Zach Braff
movie on Kickstarter.

458
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:13,260
Andy, slow down.

459
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:14,995
No, you're not gonna
talk me into it.

460
00:15:15,074 --> 00:15:17,408
I'm even wearing embarrassing
underwear just in case.

461
00:15:17,476 --> 00:15:18,776
Oh, god, you're making this
so much easier.

462
00:15:18,844 --> 00:15:21,478
Look, I texted you
to say the same thing.

463
00:15:23,246 --> 00:15:23,811
You did?

464
00:15:23,849 --> 00:15:24,649
Yeah.

465
00:15:25,518 --> 00:15:28,585
I'm trying to be
a better person.

466
00:15:28,654 --> 00:15:31,288
And, ironically, you're one of
the reasons why, but...

467
00:15:32,959 --> 00:15:35,726
A better person does not hook up
with an engaged person.

468
00:15:40,187 --> 00:15:41,353
So, what now?

469
00:15:42,322 --> 00:15:43,589
I don't know.

470
00:15:44,202 --> 00:15:45,335
We're still gonna see
each other.

471
00:15:45,404 --> 00:15:46,636
You work for, like,
half my family.

472
00:15:48,206 --> 00:15:50,307
Do I remove you
from my calling circle?

473
00:15:50,375 --> 00:15:52,742
I think that's between you
and your wireless carrier.

474
00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:55,146
I guess that's that.

475
00:15:56,232 --> 00:15:57,631
It's not like
it's goodbye forever.

476
00:15:57,700 --> 00:15:59,533
It's just...

477
00:15:59,602 --> 00:16:01,635
When we run into each other
from now on,

478
00:16:01,704 --> 00:16:04,438
we keep our clothes on.

479
00:16:04,507 --> 00:16:08,375
Yes. Totally.

480
00:16:11,508 --> 00:16:13,374
But, you know...

481
00:16:13,443 --> 00:16:14,776
If things were different --

482
00:16:14,844 --> 00:16:16,611
I know.

483
00:16:16,679 --> 00:16:18,980
Bye, Haley.

484
00:16:23,353 --> 00:16:24,385
Bye.

485
00:16:24,454 --> 00:16:25,787
So, that's it?
It's over?

486
00:16:25,855 --> 00:16:27,455
I can't believe
she just left like that.

487
00:16:27,524 --> 00:16:29,624
Great.
Now what?

488
00:16:29,694 --> 00:16:30,934
I know what you're all thinking,

489
00:16:30,962 --> 00:16:33,530
and, yes, I will take over
as group leader.

490
00:16:33,598 --> 00:16:34,697
No one's thinking that.

491
00:16:34,766 --> 00:16:36,699
I'm the only one
with improv experience.

492
00:16:36,768 --> 00:16:37,934
Oh, really?

493
00:16:38,003 --> 00:16:40,403
Or was I the only white member
of Ha Ha Blacksheep?

494
00:16:40,472 --> 00:16:41,971
I seem to remember
bringing down the hizouse

495
00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:43,807
with such classic characters
as a scared tourist,

496
00:16:43,875 --> 00:16:45,141
quarterback, and Bryant Gumbel.

497
00:16:45,260 --> 00:16:47,093
I'll tag you in if I need you.
All right, everyone.

498
00:16:47,162 --> 00:16:50,096
This first exercise is called
entrances and exits.

499
00:16:50,165 --> 00:16:51,231
Let me go first.

500
00:16:51,299 --> 00:16:53,233
I'm leaving to watch
the football game.

501
00:16:53,301 --> 00:16:54,534
- No, señor!
‭- Jay, no.

502
00:16:54,803 --> 00:16:56,069
Oh, dear god!

503
00:16:56,137 --> 00:16:57,970
The only reason
we stirred all this up

504
00:16:58,039 --> 00:16:59,272
is 'cause Mrs. Magoo here

505
00:16:59,341 --> 00:17:01,607
thought she was bidding
on a home organizer.

506
00:17:01,676 --> 00:17:04,243
I knew exactly what I was doing!

507
00:17:04,312 --> 00:17:06,412
I have tried everything.

508
00:17:06,481 --> 00:17:09,716
I just needed a new way to
get you to express your feelings

509
00:17:09,784 --> 00:17:12,352
and to allow other people
to express theirs.

510
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:13,831
I need you to be fine

511
00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:16,601
with Manny dancing around
the living room when he's happy

512
00:17:16,670 --> 00:17:18,469
and Joe crying when he's sad.

513
00:17:18,539 --> 00:17:21,106
- You don't see the downside
to all this? - No.

514
00:17:21,175 --> 00:17:22,241
Mitchell, you want
to weigh in here?

515
00:17:22,310 --> 00:17:24,543
‭We're all reliving it.

516
00:17:24,612 --> 00:17:25,945
How about you two?

517
00:17:26,013 --> 00:17:28,714
You feel good about getting all
this stuff out in the open?

518
00:17:28,936 --> 00:17:30,435
Let me just make one thing
perfectly clear.

519
00:17:30,504 --> 00:17:32,804
There were two tents.

520
00:17:32,873 --> 00:17:36,775
T-e-n-t-s and t-e--
You're right.

521
00:17:36,844 --> 00:17:39,111
It's a horrible joke.
But it's all your fault.

522
00:17:39,179 --> 00:17:40,045
I told you!

523
00:17:40,097 --> 00:17:42,097
For the record,
we are just as grossed out

524
00:17:42,166 --> 00:17:44,032
at the thought
of you all having sex --

525
00:17:44,101 --> 00:17:47,302
That's it! I'm out!
What the hell are we doing?

526
00:17:47,371 --> 00:17:49,471
Dancing around, telling secrets

527
00:17:49,539 --> 00:17:50,872
like girls at a slumber party.

528
00:17:50,941 --> 00:17:53,308
I can just imagine
my old man with his buddies

529
00:17:53,377 --> 00:17:56,144
sitting at their lawn chairs,
laughing their asses off

530
00:17:56,213 --> 00:17:57,779
that I missed
a whole day of football

531
00:17:57,848 --> 00:18:00,015
'cause I'm trying to get
in touch with my emotions.

532
00:18:00,083 --> 00:18:04,252
These guys didn't do that crap.
These were men!

533
00:18:04,275 --> 00:18:06,242
His best friend Tommy Ryan

534
00:18:06,310 --> 00:18:08,244
lost half a finger
in a sheet metal press.

535
00:18:08,312 --> 00:18:11,047
Waited until his shift ended
to go to the hospital.

536
00:18:11,115 --> 00:18:12,782
I broke my collar bone
in a football game.

537
00:18:12,850 --> 00:18:16,352
There was dad up in the stands
giving me the old "be tough."

538
00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:19,054
So I played two more downs
before I passed out.

539
00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:22,258
My date, Maryjo Klumsky,

540
00:18:22,326 --> 00:18:24,376
left the senior dance
with another guy.

541
00:18:24,381 --> 00:18:25,647
Broke my heart.

542
00:18:25,716 --> 00:18:28,684
2:00 A.M. at the kitchen table,
my old man's telling me,

543
00:18:28,752 --> 00:18:31,620
"eat the sandwich
and forget about her."

544
00:18:31,689 --> 00:18:35,791
Feelings!

545
00:18:35,859 --> 00:18:37,139
I didn't even cry
at his funeral.

546
00:18:37,194 --> 00:18:38,360
You believe that?

547
00:18:38,429 --> 00:18:40,095
The guy was my whole world.

548
00:18:40,164 --> 00:18:41,663
Not a tear.

549
00:18:41,732 --> 00:18:45,300
Everybody looking at me like --
Like I didn't love him.

550
00:18:45,369 --> 00:18:47,169
But he knew.

551
00:18:49,773 --> 00:18:51,206
He had to know, right?

552
00:18:51,275 --> 00:18:53,075
Of course he did.

553
00:18:55,979 --> 00:18:58,312
Son of a bitch,
that felt good getting that out.

554
00:18:58,381 --> 00:18:59,381
Wow.

555
00:18:59,415 --> 00:19:00,715
I know.

556
00:19:00,783 --> 00:19:03,484
They just won therapy.

557
00:19:03,553 --> 00:19:05,586
Hey, it's me.
I broke up with Reuben.

558
00:19:05,655 --> 00:19:07,021
I knew he'd be crushed,

559
00:19:07,090 --> 00:19:08,490
so I did it quickly
like ripping off

560
00:19:08,525 --> 00:19:10,057
one of his Incredible Hulk
band-aids.

561
00:19:10,126 --> 00:19:11,526
So, how about you?
Did you do it?

562
00:19:11,594 --> 00:19:15,096
Yep.
I sure did.

563
00:19:15,164 --> 00:19:18,366
"Why do we choose partners
so different from ourselves?

564
00:19:20,236 --> 00:19:21,569
It's not fate or chance

565
00:19:21,638 --> 00:19:24,839
or clichés like 'the heart wants
what the heart wants.'"

566
00:19:27,143 --> 00:19:29,677
"We choose our partners
because they represent

567
00:19:29,746 --> 00:19:32,413
the unfinished business
from our childhood."

568
00:19:37,287 --> 00:19:38,387
Phil.

569
00:19:39,656 --> 00:19:40,388
Phil.

570
00:19:40,831 --> 00:19:42,164
"And we choose them

571
00:19:42,232 --> 00:19:44,866
because they manifest
the qualities we wish we had."

572
00:19:46,270 --> 00:19:47,903
I'm afraid I'm not fun enough
for you.

573
00:19:47,971 --> 00:19:50,238
- Huh?
‭- Yeah.

574
00:19:50,307 --> 00:19:52,387
My sayings aren't cute,
my jokes aren't funny, and --

575
00:19:52,443 --> 00:19:54,443
and you're gonna get sick of me
once the kids leave

576
00:19:54,445 --> 00:19:56,778
and you realize
how truly crazy I am.

577
00:19:56,847 --> 00:19:58,814
- Really?
‭- Mm-hmm.

578
00:19:58,882 --> 00:20:02,717
Honey, I already know
how crazy you are.

579
00:20:02,786 --> 00:20:06,455
"In doing so, in choosing
such a challenging partner,

580
00:20:06,523 --> 00:20:09,191
and working to give them
what they need,

581
00:20:09,259 --> 00:20:12,894
we chart a course
for our own growth."

582
00:20:12,963 --> 00:20:14,696
Go to sleep,
Jay-Jay.

583
00:20:14,765 --> 00:20:17,132
I'm telling you,
the woman is a genius.

584
00:20:25,017 --> 00:20:27,918
I didn't feel like going to
my grandpa's house that Sunday,

585
00:20:28,964 --> 00:20:31,497
so I pretended to have a cold.

586
00:20:31,566 --> 00:20:33,700
Wouldn't you know it,
a few days later...

587
00:20:33,768 --> 00:20:35,935
Oh, no.

588
00:20:36,004 --> 00:20:38,338
Yep.
I got the cold.

589
00:20:38,406 --> 00:20:41,708
I thought it was Karma,
so I hopped on my bike

590
00:20:41,776 --> 00:20:43,476
and I rode straight
to my grandpa's.

591
00:20:43,545 --> 00:20:47,180
I climbed in his lap
and I hugged him so hard.

592
00:20:47,248 --> 00:20:49,682
We even shared
an ice cream cone.

593
00:20:49,751 --> 00:20:51,851
It's a memory
I'll always cherish,

594
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:53,286
'cause in a crazy coincidence,

595
00:20:53,355 --> 00:20:55,822
he got a cold, too,
and was dead within a week.

596
00:20:58,582 --> 00:21:04,182
Sync and corrected by gloriabg
www.addic7ed.com