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English (HI) Subtitles.
[MP4] Modern Family S06E12 (720p) The Big Guns - Web-DL [KoTuWa]
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Phil, honey!
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00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:16,015
Phil!
4
00:00:16,017 --> 00:00:17,816
Hey, check it out.
5
00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:19,818
Grandpa sent us another postcard
from his rv trip.
6
00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:20,986
"Mount rushmore?
7
00:00:20,988 --> 00:00:23,655
I wish the tour guide
would have rushed more."
8
00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:24,990
Phil, we have got
to do something
9
00:00:24,992 --> 00:00:26,158
About amber
and ronnie's boat.
10
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:27,493
That thing
is making it impossible
11
00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:30,129
To park in our driveway,
and it's an eyesore.
12
00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:31,463
On the other hand,
they're our neighbors
13
00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:32,631
And we have to
see them everyday.
14
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:34,299
I worry about...
Rocking the boat.
15
00:00:34,301 --> 00:00:35,834
You know
you can do better.
16
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:37,169
Keeping me honest.
I love it.
17
00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:39,505
Yeah,
the boat is trashy.
18
00:00:39,507 --> 00:00:41,840
Living next to it
doesn't feel "on brand" for me.
19
00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:44,309
You know, with sea levels rising
at their current rate,
20
00:00:44,311 --> 00:00:46,145
We should be glad
we live near a boat.
21
00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:48,814
Okay, so, that's three
for "get rid of the boat."
22
00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:49,815
Luke?
Count me out.
23
00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:50,816
This isn't a police state.
24
00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:53,385
That boat
isn't hurting anyone.
25
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:56,055
Here's all you need to know
about that boat.
26
00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:58,824
One... tammy lafontaine
sunbathes on it.
27
00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:03,929
Two... my eyeballs like looking
at tammy lafontaine sunbathing.
28
00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:05,097
Don't make me
the bad guy here.
29
00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:07,399
You know that obnoxious thing
annoys you, too.
30
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,068
Yeah, it does,
but we need to finesse this...
31
00:01:09,070 --> 00:01:10,069
Be nice about it.
32
00:01:10,071 --> 00:01:11,170
The last thing we need
33
00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:12,838
Is some huge feud
with our crazy neighbors.
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00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,673
Movie idea.
I'll put on the list.
35
00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:16,742
Comedy or drama?
Depends on casting.
36
00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:18,410
There's got to be some kind
of regulation about this.
37
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,579
I'm gonna call the city.
That's a terrible idea.
38
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:21,914
Uh, no,
a terrible idea
39
00:01:21,916 --> 00:01:24,917
Is a movie about a guy
who can fax himself places.
40
00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:27,586
'Cause you haven't heard
the title... "just the fax man."
41
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:28,921
[ gasps ] yeah.
Huh?
42
00:01:28,923 --> 00:01:31,423
That water
can't hit us soon enough.
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¶¶¶
44
00:01:43,971 --> 00:01:45,971
[ door opens ]
45
00:01:45,973 --> 00:01:47,306
Mitchell: Hey,
where have you guys been?
46
00:01:47,308 --> 00:01:49,141
Both: The san vicente branch
of the public library,
47
00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:50,242
And then ice cream.
48
00:01:50,244 --> 00:01:52,911
That was
a weirdly specific answer.
49
00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:54,813
Well,
everything is normal.
50
00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:55,981
Usually when
everything is normal,
51
00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:57,816
People don't respond
in perfectly rehearsed unison.
52
00:01:57,818 --> 00:01:59,618
Now who's being
weirdly specific.
53
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,720
Well, if you went
to the library,
54
00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:02,754
Why don't you have
any books?
55
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:03,789
We read there.
56
00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:04,957
I read
"clifford the big red dog."
57
00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:06,959
And I read richard chamberlain's
autobiography.
58
00:02:06,961 --> 00:02:09,128
Did you know
he did hamlet in london?
59
00:02:09,130 --> 00:02:11,130
Yes, I remember you
telling me about that
60
00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:13,465
At the san vicente branch
of the public library.
61
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,134
Okay, well, why don't you go
clean your room now, sweetie?
62
00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:17,836
Great idea.
Lily, don't forget
your backpack.
63
00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:19,738
Whoa, what's this?
64
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:22,107
Um...
Cam, clown supplies?
65
00:02:22,109 --> 00:02:23,342
Uh, yeah,
those are mine.
66
00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:25,110
We just had to pick them up
from the dry cleaner.
67
00:02:25,112 --> 00:02:26,311
Also mine.
68
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:30,516
Oh, my gosh, they must
have shrunk them in the wash!
69
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,584
Did they wash them
40,000 times?
70
00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:33,585
[ Sighs ]
okay, look.
71
00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:35,754
It's no big deal,
but I took Lily
72
00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:37,923
To a junior clown college
this morning.
73
00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:39,858
Are you serious?
Behind my back?
74
00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:41,193
Yes, because I knew
you wouldn't approve.
75
00:02:41,195 --> 00:02:42,427
What was
I supposed to do?
76
00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:44,263
Not take her
because you know how I feel
77
00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:45,531
About all this
mumbo jumbo.
78
00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:46,532
Hey!
79
00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:48,934
Mumbo jumbo was
like a father to me.
80
00:02:48,936 --> 00:02:51,637
I have been very up front
with you.
81
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:55,541
You knew going in that I wanted
to raise our child as a clown.
82
00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:57,943
Yes, but then I finally realized
that you weren't joking
83
00:02:57,945 --> 00:02:59,444
And we agreed
that we would wait
84
00:02:59,446 --> 00:03:01,513
Until she was old enough
to decide for herself.
85
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,148
You do stuff with her
all the time,
86
00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:05,050
And you don't ask me
for my permission.
87
00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:06,151
Just last week,
88
00:03:06,153 --> 00:03:08,120
You took her to the doctor
without even asking!
89
00:03:08,122 --> 00:03:09,821
'Cause she had
an ear infection!
90
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:11,690
Let's say we're even!
91
00:03:13,826 --> 00:03:15,360
Gloria: Bravo!
92
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,696
You ate all
of your blueberries!
93
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,131
That gets applause?
94
00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:21,466
I just finished the Friday
crossword puzzle and nothing.
95
00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:23,635
I guess everyone knows
herbert hoover's middle name.
96
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:24,803
Look what I got...
97
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:28,073
A throne
for our little king.
98
00:03:28,075 --> 00:03:29,741
Do we have to put the toilet
on the counter?
99
00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:31,176
I take
my afternoon coffee here.
100
00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:33,011
Let's fix one problem
at a time.
101
00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:34,813
I've decided
to potty-train Joe.
102
00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,381
No, too soon.
103
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:37,883
It's too soon
for a pearl harbor joke,
104
00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:39,384
Perfect time for this.
105
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:41,186
I don't
want to rush him.
106
00:03:41,188 --> 00:03:43,822
Too much pressure
and he will get traumatized.
107
00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:46,491
He's grown up drinking from
a breast bigger than his head.
108
00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:48,393
I don't think
he scares easy.
109
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:50,395
The kid's ready,
plus, if I'm being honest,
110
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,231
I'm tired of buying diapers.
111
00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:55,400
Excuse me,
where do you keep the diapers?
112
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,469
Right over here, sir.
113
00:04:02,442 --> 00:04:04,276
You trying to
be funny?
114
00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:06,979
We have larger sizes.
115
00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:09,514
He's gonna do great.
116
00:04:09,516 --> 00:04:10,515
Why wouldn't he?
117
00:04:10,517 --> 00:04:12,618
There's no one better
than Joe, right?
118
00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:13,952
I'm better than Joe.
119
00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:16,955
At his age, I was counting to 10
in three languages.
120
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:20,459
The bar is so low for that kid,
except when they play limbo.
121
00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:23,362
They hold it up so high
anybody can get under it.
122
00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:25,697
[ Up-tempo music playing ]
oh, hey.
123
00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:26,798
I didn't see you there.
124
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,133
[ Scoffs ]
really?
125
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,868
So, is that
your creepy twin brother
126
00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:30,969
Who's been staring at me
127
00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:32,604
From the window
for the last week?
128
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:35,941
Uh, I could lie
and say "yes."
129
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:38,043
You could pretend
you weren't flattered,
130
00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:39,878
But why not
just cut to the chase?
131
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,313
And what
would that be?
132
00:04:41,315 --> 00:04:45,317
Um... I could maybe
touch something of yours?
133
00:04:45,319 --> 00:04:47,719
Sure, and I could maybe
kick something of yours.
134
00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:49,388
I like this tension.
135
00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:51,556
Very "will they,
when will they?"
136
00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:52,991
Go back to your room,
little boy.
137
00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:54,893
Got it.
I'll see you from there.
138
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,296
Once we approach them
with this,
139
00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:58,630
It's gonna be awfully hard
for me to log in
140
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,499
With my anonymous call
to the city.
141
00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:02,567
You're not gonna
have to report anyone.
142
00:05:02,569 --> 00:05:03,902
Call me
david copperfield,
143
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:06,071
'cause I'm about
to make a boat disappear.
144
00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:09,274
Hey, neighbors.
I made you some banana bread.
145
00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:11,109
Hey!
Oh, I love banana bread.
146
00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:13,779
We have this at our dispensary,
except we got weed in it.
Claire: Oh.
147
00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:16,281
Ooh, but we could give this one
to our kids as a trick.
148
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:17,449
[ laughs ]
149
00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:19,418
This boat
is really something.
150
00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:20,752
You know
what we call her?
151
00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:23,121
"Jackpot"!
'cause you sell pot.
152
00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:25,957
Holy cow,
we never thought of that.
153
00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:27,426
This is the best day
of my life!
154
00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:29,761
[ laughs ]
permission to come aboard
and check her out?
155
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,263
Yeah!
156
00:05:31,265 --> 00:05:33,432
That is, if you're talking
about my boat and not my wife.
157
00:05:33,434 --> 00:05:36,301
[ Whack ]
ooh, yeah,
you can't climb aboard me.
158
00:05:36,303 --> 00:05:37,669
Well, not in the driveway,
anyway.
Mm-hmm.
159
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:40,605
Oh, this is so great.
Claire: Yeah.
160
00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:41,873
Did you do something new
with your hair?
161
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:43,875
Did you get a new wig
or something?
Mnh-mnh.
162
00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:47,346
Oh.
Sweet boat like this belongs
in the water, am I right?
163
00:05:47,348 --> 00:05:49,514
Well, you know, people who put
their boat in the water,
164
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:50,849
They only use it
on the weekend.
165
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,784
We get to use this baby
every day.
166
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:53,952
Can you imagine
167
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:56,355
Visiting this boat every day
in the marina?
168
00:05:56,357 --> 00:05:57,689
You spend a bunch of money
on something,
169
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:58,857
You want people
to see it.
170
00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,492
That's why
I wear low-cut tops.
171
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:03,061
Yeah!
Listen up.
172
00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:04,396
I just got to be honest.
173
00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:05,964
We're having a hard time
with the boat here.
174
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:07,899
What,
you don't like jackpot?
175
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:10,502
It's gigantic
and makes it pretty tough
176
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:12,137
To park in our driveway.
177
00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:15,474
Well, that's because you open
your doors onto our driveway,
178
00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:17,209
Where we keep our boat.
179
00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:20,712
Yes, and, according
to city regulations,
180
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,214
It shouldn't
even be here.
181
00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:24,082
"Regulations."
hear that?
182
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:25,584
Look, we really do
want to keep this friendly.
183
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:27,419
And it's been here
for three weeks.
184
00:06:27,421 --> 00:06:29,821
Yeah, and it's beautiful.
And it's tacky.
185
00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:31,556
Whoa! Whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
186
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:32,657
Settle down!
Hey, that is uncool!
187
00:06:32,659 --> 00:06:34,993
There are four aces
on the side of it.
188
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,094
You know what?
189
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:37,763
We're gonna have to ask you
to disembark.
190
00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:39,598
That's boat
for "get off."
191
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:43,001
Yeah, there's no room up here
for an uptight buzzkill.
192
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:44,236
Don't call her
a buzzkill.
193
00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:45,704
That's right. There's a lot
of people who think I'm fun.
194
00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:47,372
You complain
about fireworks Friday,
195
00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:50,208
You complain when my son
plays his kick-ass drum set,
196
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:51,943
You bought curtains
for your bedroom window.
197
00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:54,413
What have we ever done
to you?
198
00:06:54,415 --> 00:06:56,448
I think you just answered
your own question.
199
00:06:56,450 --> 00:06:57,549
All right,
you know what?
200
00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:59,017
Here, take your
buzz-free banana bread
201
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:00,952
And go back
to your precious driveway.
Oh. With pleasure.
202
00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:03,021
By the way, Claire, earlier,
I was just being nice.
203
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:04,856
I do not like
your new wig.
204
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:07,192
Hey, what you don't like
is her real hair!
205
00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:08,860
Phil!
Uh, not the color.
206
00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:10,061
Hey, Phil!
207
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:11,863
Oh.
[ clears throat ]
208
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:13,398
Still think
we need to be nice?
209
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,400
No. It's time
for more drastic measures.
210
00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:18,970
Mm-hmm.
No one insults...
My banana bread.
211
00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:25,911
[ Spits ]
212
00:07:25,913 --> 00:07:28,413
Mitchell.
F-fiz... no! No!
213
00:07:28,415 --> 00:07:30,215
What have I said about
you sneaking up on me?
214
00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:31,383
I could have been
shaving.
215
00:07:31,385 --> 00:07:32,484
This could have been
a sweeney todd moment.
216
00:07:32,486 --> 00:07:35,754
Because of me,
clowning is in Lily's blood.
217
00:07:35,756 --> 00:07:38,423
Adopted.
But she's a natural,
and we're gonna prove it to you.
218
00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:41,760
If she doesn't make you laugh,
she'll quit clowning forever.
219
00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:42,894
Come on.
220
00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:44,996
[ Groans ]
please.
221
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:48,834
I present to you the asian
for any occasion,
222
00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:51,503
The clown that will invert
that frown,
223
00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:55,073
The dynamic duo of fizbo and...
[ circus music plays ]
224
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:57,843
Lizbo!
225
00:07:57,845 --> 00:07:59,010
Are you
not hearing that?
226
00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:00,846
We're working
on the name.
227
00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:01,913
Ha!
228
00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:02,914
Ho!
229
00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:05,584
Oh, no,
fizbo dropped his hat.
230
00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:08,086
Where did it go,
lizbo?
231
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:09,254
It's right there.
Oh!
232
00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:10,922
[ Chuckles ]
there it is!
233
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:12,257
[ Chuckles ]
234
00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:13,658
Do, do-do-do-do,
do, do, do.
235
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,827
No, fizbo! No!
236
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:18,763
What? I'm just putting
my hat back on, lizbo.
237
00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:20,966
Oh, my... oh!
238
00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:23,201
Confetti... I hope fizbo
knows how to vacuum.
239
00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:26,271
Oh!
Who turned out the lights?!
240
00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:28,039
[ Groans ] you're just
spreading it around.
241
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:31,877
[ Sighs heavily ]
242
00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:34,379
Mitchell: I tried
to be supportive for Lily.
243
00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:37,282
I really did,
but I wanted to kill myself.
244
00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:39,384
[ Grunting ]
245
00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:41,453
[ Sighs ]
246
00:08:44,223 --> 00:08:45,557
Ohh! Oh! Oh!
[ laughs ]
247
00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:47,559
That's not part
of the routine.
248
00:08:47,561 --> 00:08:48,960
[ Clang ]
ohh! Ohh!
249
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,629
Wah, wah!
[ laughs ]
250
00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:51,696
Ohh!
Oh!
251
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:54,032
She's a natural.
Do it again.
252
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,400
Ohh!
253
00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:00,739
Okay, here we go.
Nothing to it.
254
00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:02,307
Make it rain.
255
00:09:03,809 --> 00:09:05,076
Yeah, I-I get it.
256
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:07,078
You... you can't pee
with another guy looking at you.
257
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,713
Not a bad thing,
by the way.
258
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:14,553
Son of a gun,
his middle name was clark.
259
00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:16,888
Jay!
May we have some privacy,
please?
260
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,089
For what?
261
00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:21,159
So that Joe can keep chewing
on the electrical cord?
262
00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:22,494
[ Clapping ]
whoo.
263
00:09:22,496 --> 00:09:24,496
O-oh, we're...
We're not clapping for this?
264
00:09:24,498 --> 00:09:27,165
I told you that he was
not ready, and when he is,
265
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:29,501
Why don't you let
his mother take care of it?
266
00:09:29,503 --> 00:09:31,736
You know, I raised two
fully functional children.
267
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,505
You have two kids
that I don't know about?
268
00:09:33,507 --> 00:09:37,008
Please, just let Joe go
on his own schedule.
269
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:40,178
Manny learned to potty-train
when he was 2 1/2.
270
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,180
You told me
it was 13 months.
271
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:44,082
I may have exaggerated
a little bit.
272
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,418
2 1/2 isn't advanced
at all.
273
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:48,086
What else
did you exaggerate?
274
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,121
Did I really like shakespeare
when I was 3?
275
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,023
Not so much shakespeare
as jello.
276
00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:53,925
Was my first word
really "latte"?
277
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,760
Not so much "latte"
as "jello."
278
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:57,596
Oh, my god.
I'm normal.
279
00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:59,931
Trust me, kid,
no one's saying that about you.
280
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,633
Why did you tell me
all those things?
281
00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:02,701
To give you confidence.
282
00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:04,202
You needed it
because you were having
283
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:06,371
So much trouble
learning how to read.
284
00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:07,772
This makes no sense.
285
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,808
Yes, that what
you always used to say.
286
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:11,376
[ Groans ]
287
00:10:12,712 --> 00:10:14,546
Aah! Oh!
288
00:10:14,548 --> 00:10:16,715
[ Spits ]
wah, wah!
289
00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:18,717
[ Chuckles ]
290
00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:20,051
Cameron:
I wasn't deterred.
291
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:22,554
I knew Lily had what it took
to be a great clown.
292
00:10:22,556 --> 00:10:24,222
[ Chuckling ] I mean...
293
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:26,224
She just needed
to find her persona,
294
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:30,662
And that process can be painful,
especially for me.
295
00:10:35,901 --> 00:10:38,069
Ohh, Lily!
296
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:40,071
Wah, wah!
297
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:42,307
[ laughs ]
298
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,809
¶ Ba-da, ba, ba, ba,
ba-ba... ¶
299
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,378
Ohh.
300
00:10:48,414 --> 00:10:50,749
Wah, wah!
301
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:54,085
Good morning,
neighbors.
302
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:55,920
Beautiful day, huh?
303
00:10:55,922 --> 00:10:58,256
Don't even try
to sweet-talk us.
304
00:10:58,258 --> 00:11:00,191
This tacky boat
ain't going anywhere.
305
00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:01,493
Oh.
[ rumbling in distance ]
306
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:02,661
Hey, what's that?
307
00:11:02,663 --> 00:11:06,231
I don't know.
What could it be?
308
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:12,203
Phil is not
a vindictive guy.
309
00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:14,005
He still listens
to milli vanilli.
310
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,674
It's a scandal
I can dance to.
311
00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:17,942
But ronnie and amber
don't deserve nice Phil.
312
00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:20,378
They dissed my woman,
so I called in the big guns.
313
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,380
You are so sexy
right now.
314
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:25,617
Girl, you know it's true.
Oh, there it goes.
315
00:11:28,454 --> 00:11:31,456
Is that my son
or am I looking
316
00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:33,358
In the world's
most flattering mirror?
317
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,627
That's funny
and uplifting!
318
00:11:35,629 --> 00:11:36,628
It is! [ Laughs ]
oh, hi.
319
00:11:36,630 --> 00:11:37,962
[ Smooches ]
thanks for coming so fast.
320
00:11:37,964 --> 00:11:39,831
Oh.
Where were
you when we called?
321
00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:41,499
Who knows?
It all looks the same.
322
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:43,001
Either arizona
or new mexico.
323
00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:44,335
Or maybe even
regular mexico.
324
00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:46,838
Oh.
Thanks for coming,
fellas.
325
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,840
Hey, guys.
Grandpa!
326
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:51,342
There's my little girls.
How are you?
327
00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:52,644
Aww.
328
00:11:52,646 --> 00:11:53,978
What the hell is this?
329
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:55,313
We see your driveway boat
330
00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:58,983
And raise you
a convoy of retirees.
331
00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:00,819
Oh, I want to have three more
of your babies.
332
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:02,821
How was
your road trip?
333
00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:04,823
The highlight
Came in branson, missouri,
334
00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:08,326
When victor rear-ended
yakov smirnoff's s.U.V.
335
00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:12,397
The exchange of information
was hilarious, but frustrating.
336
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,265
I don't understand anything
that's happening.
337
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:15,600
[ As yakov smirnoff ]
"in my country,
338
00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:17,769
Car has insurance
for me."
339
00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:19,337
[ normal voice ]
that sort of thing.
340
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:20,338
[ laughs ]
just laugh.
341
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:21,840
One day,
we'll treasure these moments.
342
00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:23,341
[ Both laugh ]
343
00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:24,843
I guess
you guys convinced us.
344
00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:26,077
It's awesome having
345
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,079
Giant recreational vehicles
in your front yard.
346
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,247
Mm-hmm.
347
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,015
Oh, we see
what you two are doing.
348
00:12:31,017 --> 00:12:32,250
You're gonna see
a whole lot more,
349
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:35,920
'cause these old guys like
to do tai chi in shorty robes.
350
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:38,423
This ain't gonna work.
I like hanging with old people.
351
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:39,958
Makes me feel
in-shape.
352
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,460
They can't sleep
and they can't hear.
353
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:44,696
They're gonna be blasting
talk radio all night long.
354
00:12:44,698 --> 00:12:47,699
When I get drunk,
I snore real loud,
355
00:12:47,701 --> 00:12:49,734
So I won't
hear a thing.
356
00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:50,902
We just wanted
to give you a taste
357
00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:53,138
Of what it's like
to have you for a neighbor.
358
00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:55,807
I love how close together
all our mouths are.
359
00:12:55,809 --> 00:12:57,242
Ohh.
Okay.
360
00:12:57,244 --> 00:12:59,077
Hey, dad, what's the...
361
00:12:59,079 --> 00:13:01,379
What's the plot
of that rita hayworth movie?
362
00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:03,081
Oh.
My friends
here were wondering.
363
00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:05,416
That's my cue. Time to help
my boy get rid of a boat.
364
00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:08,086
Uh, "lady from shanghai"?
365
00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:09,254
That's the one.
366
00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:11,256
I-I can't remember
all the details.
367
00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:13,491
Pretty sure there was a horse
in that movie.
Mm-hmm.
368
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:15,326
Or was it a baby?
369
00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:17,662
Funny thing...
None of it was in shanghai.
370
00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:19,998
Ahh.
Or was all of it
in shanghai?
371
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,333
Anyway, where was I?
Oh, right.
372
00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:24,502
So, either the horse
or this baby...
373
00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:27,071
Oh, hey.
374
00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:28,740
I'm just putting these
in the car.
375
00:13:28,742 --> 00:13:30,775
I help underprivileged kids
lift weights.
376
00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:32,443
You can't
even drive yet.
377
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:35,446
Okay, you know my secret.
What's yours?
378
00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:37,415
Do you honestly think
any of this is gonna work?
379
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:40,752
[ Sighs ]
I don't know what I'm doing.
380
00:13:40,754 --> 00:13:44,088
I-I have no clue what
to say when I'm around you,
381
00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:46,257
But I think about you
all the time.
382
00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:48,593
[ Sighs ]
383
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:52,263
Fine.
Here's my secret.
384
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:53,598
[ Breathes deeply ]
385
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,267
I put all these walls up
and act tough,
386
00:13:56,269 --> 00:14:00,104
But... I've never really been
with a boy before.
387
00:14:00,106 --> 00:14:01,105
Really?
388
00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:03,107
Because I've never been
with a girl.
389
00:14:03,109 --> 00:14:05,276
[ laughs ]
oh, my god. Pathetic.
390
00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:07,212
Run home to your mommy,
you little bitch.
391
00:14:11,717 --> 00:14:13,051
Is lizbo in here?
392
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:14,052
I think
she's in our room.
393
00:14:14,054 --> 00:14:16,287
[ Sighs ] Cam.
394
00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:17,722
You know, you wouldn't be
in this position
395
00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:18,957
If you hadn't gone
behind my back.
396
00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:22,527
I wouldn't be in this position
if I had...
397
00:14:23,128 --> 00:14:25,830
...A supportive husband.
Okay.
398
00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:27,866
Really, I would love to hear
how this is my fault.
399
00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:30,301
Yesterday, Lily performed
her heart out for you.
400
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:32,470
She was so excited
to do that broom routine,
401
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:33,805
And you gave her nothing.
402
00:14:33,807 --> 00:14:36,140
So she got desperate,
403
00:14:36,142 --> 00:14:37,876
And she resorted
to mean-spirited gags.
404
00:14:37,878 --> 00:14:39,510
And then all of a sudden,
guess what.
405
00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:41,179
You're mister mcgiggles!
406
00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:42,547
Oh, is he like
an uncle to you?
407
00:14:43,482 --> 00:14:46,150
You know what hurt the most
is that my husband
408
00:14:46,152 --> 00:14:49,721
Turned our daughter
against something that I love.
409
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,894
Guys, we appreciate
all your help,
410
00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:57,428
But you probably
shouldn't be up there.
411
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:58,596
I don't mind.
[ laughs ]
412
00:14:58,598 --> 00:14:59,731
Whoa!
413
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:01,232
[ Sniffs ]
is that weed I smell?
414
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,101
Wait,
you gave them pot?
415
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:04,936
No, I run
a legitimate business.
416
00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:06,271
I'm not gonna risk it
for that.
417
00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:07,672
They brought their own.
Dad?
418
00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:10,174
Not me, son.
It's me and victor.
419
00:15:10,176 --> 00:15:13,344
Makes my arthritis
feel better.
420
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,513
And I'm in remission...
From being lame.
421
00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,615
[ laughter ]
ronnie:
Here's your beer, frank.
422
00:15:17,617 --> 00:15:18,683
Thank you, ronnie.
Right on.
423
00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:20,184
Here you go, guys.
Pigs in a blanket.
424
00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:22,186
[ Cheering ]
thank you, darling.
425
00:15:22,188 --> 00:15:23,187
What are
you guys doing?!
426
00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:24,956
You're supposed to be
annoying them.
427
00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:26,457
These guys could
never annoy me. What?
428
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:28,526
Oh, ronnie!
429
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:29,861
[ laughter ]
430
00:15:29,863 --> 00:15:32,363
Sorry, son, it turns out
ronnie's a fellow army man.
431
00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:34,699
Plus, at our age,
it's tough
432
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,935
Not to like someone
who pays attention to us.
433
00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:38,269
Unbelievable.
434
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:41,105
I should have known better.
My dad's too loveable.
435
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:43,274
It's always been
his biggest flaw.
436
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,276
Hey,
smells like a party!
437
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,378
Back inside.
Okay, then.
438
00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:48,813
[ laughter ]
439
00:15:54,386 --> 00:15:56,888
[ Children's music playing ]
440
00:15:56,890 --> 00:16:00,058
¶ Take your body
down to the potty ¶
441
00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:03,394
¶ to have some fun
and go number one ¶
442
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:05,263
[ music stops ]
443
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:06,731
What is this filth?
444
00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:09,567
I tried everything... videos,
books, parenting websites.
445
00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:11,569
I even tried to make a game
out of it.
446
00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:13,905
Nothing could get that kid
to use the toilet.
447
00:16:13,907 --> 00:16:18,409
By the way, do not search
"peeing games" on the internet.
448
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:21,079
Okay, Joe, what's it gonna be?
I'm a wealthy man.
449
00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:22,280
Just give me a number.
450
00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:23,281
Seven.
451
00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:25,116
I just found out
that's how old I was
452
00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:26,951
When I learned
to tie my shoes.
453
00:16:26,953 --> 00:16:28,619
Not 2,
like I was told.
454
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:31,122
Okay, please, Manny.
455
00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:33,157
I might have exaggerated
a little bit,
456
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:35,326
But I do that
all the time.
457
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,762
Columbia actually
is a very normal place.
458
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:39,764
My accomplishments
are all lies.
459
00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:42,433
I can only deal with one
traumatized child at a time.
460
00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:46,104
Please, Jay, let that poor baby
off the toilet.
461
00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:47,271
Okay, new plan...
462
00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:49,774
We leave him on the throne
till he conks out,
463
00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:52,443
Then we dunk his hand
in a bowl of warm water...
464
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:53,611
That's crazy.
465
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:56,280
You know that you can't
rush these things.
466
00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:59,484
You did it before
with Claire and with mitch.
467
00:16:59,486 --> 00:17:01,319
I don't think he did,
mom.
468
00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:02,987
Yes, he did, right?
469
00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:06,391
Well, I was a little busy
building a closet empire.
470
00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:08,893
And racquetball
was pretty big back then.
471
00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:11,062
Maybe that's why
this is so important to you.
472
00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:13,197
You missed so many milestones
in their lives,
473
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,166
You don't want to miss them
with Joe.
474
00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:17,168
This is
your second chance.
475
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:19,737
But don't worry, Jay.
He knows you love him.
476
00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:22,907
I'd like him to remember
that I'm there for him.
477
00:17:22,909 --> 00:17:24,976
I mean, who knows
if I'll get another chance.
478
00:17:24,978 --> 00:17:27,145
I know. You won't.
479
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:28,980
And he won't
have to remember you
480
00:17:28,982 --> 00:17:30,982
Because you're always
going to be here.
481
00:17:30,984 --> 00:17:32,483
Aah. Forget it.
482
00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:33,985
Come on.
Let's give it a rest.
483
00:17:33,987 --> 00:17:36,054
The poor kid...
All that pressure I put on him.
484
00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:38,189
Especially his bladder.
485
00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:40,358
You've probably got a gallon
of apple juice in there, buddy.
486
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:42,393
Did you see that?
487
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:44,662
Did you see
how you understood Jay?
488
00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:47,065
That's what makes you
so special.
489
00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:50,501
Anyone can learn how to walk
or pee in a potty.
490
00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:53,337
You're the most sensitive
and insightful person
491
00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:56,240
I have ever known,
and you have always been.
492
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:58,009
Come here, papi.
493
00:17:58,011 --> 00:17:59,010
[ Urinating ]
he's peeing!
494
00:17:59,012 --> 00:18:01,446
He's peeing!
My little genius!
495
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:02,780
I knew
you could do it, buddy!
496
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:04,449
[ laughs ]
ay, Jay, he's not done.
497
00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:06,284
Aw, hell.
It's all over me.
498
00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:08,086
Would you take him?
499
00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:12,890
Lily!
500
00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:14,459
Oh, it's you.
Okay.
501
00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:15,526
Come here.
502
00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:17,028
Come on.
Let's have a little talk.
503
00:18:17,030 --> 00:18:19,363
All right, I know
that I have been laughing
504
00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:20,698
At some of the stuff
that you've been doing to daddy,
505
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,033
But I shouldn't have.
506
00:18:22,035 --> 00:18:24,869
I know that you love this,
but I don't want you to be
507
00:18:24,871 --> 00:18:26,404
The type of clown
that hurts people.
508
00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:28,139
I don't do that
to make you laugh.
509
00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:31,042
You don't?
Well, then why do you do it?
510
00:18:32,578 --> 00:18:34,579
I hate it.
I don't want to be a clown.
511
00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:37,048
It's so weird.
Oh, are you serious?
512
00:18:37,050 --> 00:18:38,282
The jokes aren't funny
513
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:41,385
And everybody's all,
"honk, honk, ah-ooga, wah, wah."
514
00:18:41,387 --> 00:18:43,888
Oh, Lily, I love you so much.
Oh, my gosh.
515
00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:46,090
W-w-why didn't you
just tell him?
516
00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:47,758
I didn't want to
hurt his feelings.
Oh.
517
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,594
So I figured
if I was a bad clown,
518
00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:50,828
He'd want me to stop.
519
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,497
Oh, honey, you don't
have to worry about that.
520
00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:53,498
He'll understand.
521
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:54,832
You don't have to do
what daddy does.
522
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:56,334
You just need to
tell him the truth.
523
00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:58,836
Tell me the truth
about what?
Nothing!
524
00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:00,471
No, Lily,
it's... it's okay.
525
00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:05,276
I'm sorry, daddy, but I think
I want to stop being a clown.
526
00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:07,111
[ Gasps ]
527
00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:10,114
Oh, but why?
Y-you loved it.
528
00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:12,783
Because...
529
00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:15,453
Because I'll never be
as good as fizbo.
530
00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:19,290
He's just so funny
and special and magical.
531
00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:22,126
Sweetie...
Well, listen.
532
00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:26,430
Fizbo is very special.
533
00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:29,867
But you shouldn't expect to be
as good as he is right away.
534
00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:31,669
It's too much pressure.
535
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:32,870
Aww!
536
00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:35,840
Maybe I'll try again
when I'm older.
Mm.
537
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:38,342
Coming up with a lie like that
in the moment...
538
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,344
That girl is no clown.
539
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:42,113
She's gonna be a lawyer.
540
00:19:44,049 --> 00:19:46,284
Hey, neighbor.
541
00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:47,885
Hey.
542
00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:49,554
Just wanted to say
I had a really good time
543
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:51,122
Hanging with your dad
last night.
544
00:19:51,124 --> 00:19:52,490
You don't
need to rub it in.
545
00:19:52,492 --> 00:19:54,492
I heard it all night... you guys
singing "chantilly lace."
546
00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:56,160
[ chuckles ]
no, I'm serious.
547
00:19:56,162 --> 00:19:57,295
We had a long talk.
548
00:19:57,297 --> 00:19:59,964
Your dad and his buddies,
they're good people.
549
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:02,033
They played
the whole army card.
550
00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:04,869
And, well, I'm gonna do
the honorable thing
551
00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:07,071
And, uh, move the boat.
552
00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:08,472
Really?
553
00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:10,641
Yeah, my brother says
I can keep it in his driveway.
554
00:20:10,643 --> 00:20:11,642
He hates his neighbor.
Mm.
555
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:13,344
I think
your dad's right.
556
00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:15,346
We should start being better
to one another.
557
00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:17,348
I couldn't agree more.
I think you'll see,
558
00:20:17,350 --> 00:20:18,583
Once you get to know us,
we're good people, too...
559
00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:21,719
[ siren chirps ]
560
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,387
[ Exhales sharply ]
561
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:24,388
There's no smoke.
I know.
562
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,357
Okay, folks.
[ police radio chatter ]
563
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:27,858
Who owns the boat?
564
00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:30,595
He... uh, that would be me.
Why? Is there a problem?
565
00:20:30,597 --> 00:20:31,762
Technically,
you can't store it here,
566
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:33,431
And some crazy lady
keeps calling.
567
00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:37,268
Hi, officer.
What's going on out here?
568
00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:39,103
Wait,
you guys narc'd on us!
569
00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:41,372
No, I brought you
banana bread! It was her!
570
00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:43,007
Now who's the narc?
571
00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:44,342
Claire,
that's pretty uncool.
572
00:20:44,344 --> 00:20:46,344
Super uncool!
You guys are lame!
573
00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:48,779
I'm also gonna have to
write up these rvs.
574
00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:50,114
[ All groaning ]
575
00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:54,285
I'm holding.
I'm making a walk for it.
576
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:03,561
Ugh. This again?
577
00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:05,463
Don't even think about
coming over here.
578
00:21:05,465 --> 00:21:08,599
[ Sighs,
whistling ]
579
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:10,468
Hey.
580
00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:12,003
I'm serious.
581
00:21:15,874 --> 00:21:17,141
You did it!
582
00:21:17,143 --> 00:21:18,376
Oh, my god.
583
00:21:18,378 --> 00:21:20,378
That was the hardest thing
I've ever done in my life.
584
00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:22,480
Just do it a few more times,
and she'll be begging you
585
00:21:22,482 --> 00:21:25,149
To kiss her right
in the science museum...
586
00:21:25,151 --> 00:21:28,552
Or... or what...
Whatever her fantasy is.
587
00:21:28,554 --> 00:21:30,621
[ Sighs ]