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English (HI) Subtitles.
[MP4] Modern Family S06E10 (720p) Haley's 21st Birthday - Web-DL [KoTuWa]
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Hi. Hey.
Evening, folks.
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Come on in.
Hi.
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Wait, wait!
Hang on, guys! Wait!
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00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:08,941
Don't you need
to check I.D.S?
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00:00:08,943 --> 00:00:10,609
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Huh?
7
00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:12,811
Sorry, we don't offer
a senior discount.
8
00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:13,979
No. No,
it's not for me,
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00:00:13,981 --> 00:00:15,381
And now I really
need a drink.
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00:00:15,383 --> 00:00:17,016
Go on, honey.
Show him your license. Go on.
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Picture!
Oh? Somebody 21 today?
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00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,819
Yes.
Yes.
Military gal.
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00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:22,154
Welcome,
private dorchester.
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00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:23,956
Uh, oops.
That is the wrong one.
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00:00:23,958 --> 00:00:25,324
I am so very sorry.
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Hold on a second.
Put that away!
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Haley:
Yes, I'm a huge dork
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00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:30,562
For celebrating my 21st
with my family,
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00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:34,166
But my mom was crazy excited
to go to a bar with me.
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00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:35,968
Or just to go to a bar.
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[ Dance music plays ]
aw, it's so nice
what you two are doing.
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00:00:37,972 --> 00:00:41,040
My mother would have never
taken me out for a drink.
23
00:00:41,042 --> 00:00:42,374
Why?
Was she super strict?
24
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:45,010
No, she would never
see me as an adult.
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00:00:45,012 --> 00:00:47,846
Well, except when
the police Came to the house.
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Then, she would be like,
"Gloria, you go talk to them.
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00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:53,018
"Tell them your father
was here last night.
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00:00:53,020 --> 00:00:55,687
But unbutton your shirt
a little bit first."
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00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:58,190
Okay, uh, the craziest thing
I heard...
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00:00:58,192 --> 00:01:00,025
And there is
some competition there...
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00:01:00,027 --> 00:01:02,895
Is that you think this lady
treats me like I'm an adult.
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00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:05,264
Wait, I-I do treat you
like an adult.
[ scoffs ]
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00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:08,100
You made me change my shirt two
times before we left the house
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And force-fed me
a cheese sandwich
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So I wouldn't get
sloppy drunk.
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No, that is just one woman
offering another woman, uh,
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Fashion tips and advice
for casual drinking.
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What do you know
about fashion?
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What do you know
about casual drinking?
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[ laughs ]
[ laughs ]
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Okay, okay.
That's funny.
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See,
I wouldn't have laughed
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At that before
'cause you were a kid,
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00:01:26,921 --> 00:01:28,954
But now I'm gonna laugh
'cause it's funny.
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00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:30,022
[ laughs ]
46
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Hi. Sorry that
took so long.
Hi.
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00:01:33,027 --> 00:01:35,027
We got trapped by those
bridesmaids over there.
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00:01:35,029 --> 00:01:36,028
Yeah.
Hi.
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That's what happens
50
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:39,064
When you bring gay guys
to a straight club.
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We're like catnip to drunken
bachelorette party girls.
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But don't worry, Haley.
We are here for you tonight.
Ohh.
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To Haley's first drink, huh?
Salud.
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00:01:48,042 --> 00:01:51,009
Okay.
Yeah. Yeah.
55
00:01:51,978 --> 00:01:54,246
Ooh, it burns.
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Captions by vitac...
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Captioning provided by
20th century fox television
and abc, inc.
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00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:03,322
And brought to you by ford.
Beautiful things happen
when you go further.
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¶¶¶
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Thanks again
for driving me, Jay.
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[ German accent ] you've arrived
at your destination.
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Get it?
'cause we're in a german car.
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00:02:14,101 --> 00:02:15,100
[ Chuckles ]
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00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:17,302
I have lived a long,
full life.
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00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:20,305
I will drive us
into a wall.
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00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:21,507
[ Normal voice ]
tonight, while Claire
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Gets things started
at the bar,
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00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:25,244
Jay is taking me to pick up
Haley's birthday present...
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00:02:25,246 --> 00:02:27,146
A new car!
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00:02:27,148 --> 00:02:29,515
Bill shopped around,
found something very safe
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00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:31,950
And low-maintenance
with lots of good reviews.
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Till I married her.
[ laughs ]
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I'm joking!
You're not low-maintenance!
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[ laughs ]
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I doubled down.
Oh, I heard you.
76
00:02:40,594 --> 00:02:42,161
Are you sure you don't want me
to go in with you,
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00:02:42,163 --> 00:02:45,364
You know, maybe hammer out
some final details?
78
00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:46,632
No. Deal's already
worked out.
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00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:48,433
I'm just gonna pop my
herbie hancock on a few forms,
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00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:50,002
And I'll, uh...
I'll meet you at the bar.
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00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:52,037
Great.
Well, you don't need me.
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Leaving Phil
with a car salesman
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00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:56,608
Is like covering a baby goat
in barbecue sauce
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00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:59,645
And dropping it
in the middle of the serengeti.
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00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:02,714
Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.
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00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:06,685
Mm-hmm. Well, I-it all
seems to check... wait a minute.
87
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,986
This can't be right.
88
00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:09,655
Am I allowed to sign this
with a red pen?
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00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:11,623
Good catch, Phil.
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00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:13,959
One quick thing...
If you really want to
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00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:15,160
Do something special
for your daughter,
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00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:17,563
What do you say we throw in
some upgraded wheels?
93
00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:18,830
How much
would that cost?
94
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:20,199
How much do you spend a day
on a cup of coffee?
95
00:03:20,201 --> 00:03:21,400
Oh, for god's sakes!
96
00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:22,834
Jay?
Answer the question!
97
00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:24,036
A cup of coffee?
$3.50.
98
00:03:24,038 --> 00:03:26,071
Not you!
What are you doing here?
99
00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:28,140
I'm just here to make sure
everything's on the up-and-up.
100
00:03:28,142 --> 00:03:30,042
Um, daryl, this is my
father-in-law, Jay Pritchett.
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00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:31,810
Jay, you don't
have to be here.
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It's all worked out.
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Tell you what,
why don't you throw in
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Those upgraded wheels
you love so much,
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Lower the drive-off by $500,
we call it a deal?
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I'm sorry, but this is
the best I can do.
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Come on, daryl.
We're all businessmen here.
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We all know
there's wiggle room
109
00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:44,990
When we say
there's no wiggle room.
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So, come on.
Let's see you wiggle.
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00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:48,594
I can't.
I can't wiggle.
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Jay, I've already wiggled him.
No, trust me, he can wiggle.
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I really can't. I...
Wiggle, daryl. Wiggle.
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00:03:58,705 --> 00:04:02,241
Do you know
where babies come from?
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00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:04,009
[ Scoffs ]
Lily, I'm studying.
116
00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:05,744
Are you a nerd?
117
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:08,046
No. Why would you
ask me that?
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00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:10,249
It's Friday night,
and you're doing homework.
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00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:11,883
It's my senior year.
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00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:13,085
Trust me, Lily,
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00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:15,120
There'll be tons of fun
Friday nights in my future
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00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:18,757
With artists, dignitaries,
other scientists.
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00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:21,159
I didn't hear
"boyfriend."
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00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,296
[ click ]
125
00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:28,133
You're 0 for 3.
You keep hitting me in the face.
126
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,901
Or... Am I 3 for 3?
127
00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:31,136
Then what's the point
of the apple?
128
00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:32,537
It keeps you from moving.
[ chuckles ]
129
00:04:33,406 --> 00:04:35,540
Hey, guys, do you know
where babies come from?
130
00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:37,976
Lily, that's not
an appropriate question.
131
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,444
Come on.
Do you know or not?
132
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,446
Uh, yes.
The stork brings them.
133
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:42,781
This dork?
[the stork]
134
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:43,815
Good stuff.
135
00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:44,983
Hey, Lily, how about
something to eat?
136
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:46,118
You want
some chicken nuggets?
137
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,753
Okay.
All right.
138
00:04:47,755 --> 00:04:49,488
So, do you know
how babies are made?
139
00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:51,290
Yep,
and I'll tell you.
140
00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:54,593
But first, we're gonna need
a pen and a bagel.
Why?
141
00:04:54,595 --> 00:04:57,095
Well, you're gonna need
to take notes, and I'm hungry.
142
00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:58,497
Please.
[ laughter ]
143
00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,132
Okay, we can't wait
any longer.
144
00:05:00,134 --> 00:05:01,900
We are dying
to give you our present!
145
00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:03,969
Guys,
I said no gifts.
146
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:05,137
No, you said no gifts
under $100.
147
00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:06,571
Oh, did I? Gimme.
148
00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:09,074
It's just a little something
from your supercool guncles.
149
00:05:09,076 --> 00:05:11,009
Okay!
[ laughter ]
150
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:13,245
There is a lot of pressure
when one is a gay uncle...
151
00:05:13,247 --> 00:05:14,513
Or guncle.
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00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:17,082
...Giving a gift to a niece
as hip and chic as Haley.
153
00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:18,950
In the 10 years
that we've been together,
154
00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:20,419
We've only missed the mark
one time.
155
00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:21,920
Yeah, when Claire
told us what to buy,
156
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:23,255
But we learned
our lesson...
157
00:05:23,257 --> 00:05:25,257
Ignore Claire
and trust our gay instincts.
158
00:05:25,259 --> 00:05:26,458
Or "ginstincts."
159
00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:28,260
[ sighs ]
too much.
160
00:05:28,262 --> 00:05:29,861
No.
161
00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:32,798
[ High-pitched voice ]
oh, my god! So cute!
162
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:35,967
Really? You think?
Yes! Totally!
Super cute!
163
00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:37,636
Because we can return them
if you don't like them.
164
00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:39,204
[ Scoffs ] no, no, they're good.
[ chuckles ]
165
00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:40,605
I love them.
166
00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:44,009
If we wore the same size,
I would have these on right now.
167
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:48,680
He's been gone a long time.
I think we hurt his feelings.
168
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,882
These guys
don't have feelings.
169
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,884
He's back there making time
with a secretary,
170
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:55,287
Bragging about how he's taking
a couple suckers for a ride.
171
00:05:55,289 --> 00:05:58,123
Look.
He was in the military.
172
00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:01,059
So was oswald.
Hey.
173
00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:02,327
Can you trust me
174
00:06:02,329 --> 00:06:05,330
That I'm gonna get you
the best deal possible?
175
00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:06,531
You know what?
176
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,999
Why do I keep
fighting you on this?
177
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:10,369
You know what you're doing.
I'm behind you all the way.
178
00:06:10,371 --> 00:06:11,803
Boom.
179
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,572
Well, I spoke
to my manager...
180
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:14,873
Yeah.
181
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,475
...And I can't give you
the wheels or the discount.
182
00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:17,542
Frankly, he's mad
183
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,211
That I gave you the deal
that's on the table.
184
00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:20,645
Well, thanks, daryl.
You did your best.
185
00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:21,847
You, too, Jay.
186
00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:23,048
I guess we'll just sign
and be on our way.
187
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,983
Or we can get out of here.
What?
188
00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:27,352
I'm sorry, buddy. I got
a pal at the dealership
closer to his house.
189
00:06:27,354 --> 00:06:29,154
We're gonna take our business
there. Let's go, Phil.
190
00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:30,655
I think Phil
wants to take the car.
191
00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:34,726
Don't tell Phil what he wants.
Phil wants to leave.
192
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:38,163
Phil?
193
00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:39,998
What are we doing?
That was a great deal.
194
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,733
Wrong. Keep walking.
Jay, I need this car.
195
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,101
We're supposed to be
at the bar in 20 minutes.
196
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:45,036
Calm down. He's not gonna
let us leave the lot.
197
00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:46,104
You can order
your appletini now
198
00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:47,539
And be there
before the ice melts.
199
00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:48,907
You better be right
about this
200
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,709
'cause you are dead wrong
about appletinis having ice.
201
00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:52,110
Hey!
Guys, hold on a second!
202
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:54,112
Yes, daryl.
[ panting ]
203
00:06:54,114 --> 00:06:55,414
You forgot
your sunglasses.
204
00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,117
Happy?
205
00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:00,118
Yeah.
206
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,087
These aren't
my sunglasses.
207
00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:09,861
I cannot believe
Haley didn't like the shoes.
208
00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:11,430
Oh, come on.
Of course she did.
209
00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:12,864
No, she most certainly did not.
She gave us the high voice.
210
00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:14,099
[ High-pitched voice ]
"they're cute!"
211
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,434
I know the voice. I invented
the voice. I use the voice.
212
00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:17,569
Wait. So, I can't pull off
mid-thigh shorts?
213
00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:18,870
No, you can.
214
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:20,972
Pull them off and give them
to somebody 20 years younger.
215
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:23,375
[ laughs ]
you're so silly!
216
00:07:23,377 --> 00:07:24,876
What are you two
giggling about?
217
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:26,278
Haley just asked me...
218
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:27,646
Oh, you don't want to know,
trust me.
219
00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:29,714
No, I do. I do. I do.
I do. I do. Tell me.
220
00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:31,283
No, you'll just be
all judgy
221
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,285
Because you want me to be
this perfect, little angel.
222
00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:34,653
Oh, honey,
no, that's not true.
223
00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:36,888
I know I have not done
a great job of it so far,
224
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:38,290
But I meant it
when I said
225
00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:40,659
I want to have
a more adult relationship.
226
00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:43,728
I am sure the reason
why mom and I grew apart
227
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:45,497
Is that she never stopped
treating me like a child.
228
00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:47,666
Plus, she was loco
for loco-puffs.
229
00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:49,367
[ laughs ]
230
00:07:50,336 --> 00:07:52,737
What, you do not have
that cereal?
231
00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:55,941
Come on. Haley, let me in.
Okay, fine,
so we were laughing
232
00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:57,409
Because we were
playing "would you rather."
mm-hmm.
233
00:07:57,411 --> 00:07:58,577
What's that?
[ mutters ]
234
00:07:58,579 --> 00:07:59,611
And I said,
235
00:07:59,613 --> 00:08:01,313
"would you rather
marry george clooney
236
00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:04,616
"or have the best sex of
your life for just one night
237
00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:06,151
With tom hardy?"
238
00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,619
Who's that?
I don't know.
Google him.
239
00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:10,822
I'm going with tom
because george would
240
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,191
Just want to talk
about politics all the time
241
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:16,862
And tom seems like he would
quietly get the job done.
242
00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:19,130
That's exactly
what Haley said!
Oh!
243
00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:21,766
All right! Okay!
Yeah!
244
00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:24,703
[ Women cheering ]
hey, you two!
It's dance time!
245
00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:26,538
Oh, boy.
Here we go.
246
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,473
Yeah, somebody's hungry
for a little bit more.
247
00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:30,342
We should have just
told them we're straight.
248
00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:31,943
We met them
because you accurately
249
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:34,346
Identified
the bride's perfume.
[ chuckles ]
250
00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:35,714
You two ready
to tear it up?
251
00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:38,550
Oh...
Well, we're kind of doing
our own thing right now,
252
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:40,418
But thank you.
Come on, boys!
253
00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:44,723
Who are those gays?
254
00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:47,526
I don't know,
but I like their look.
255
00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:48,527
Do you?
Really?
256
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:50,328
Haley: Yeah.
257
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:51,530
I can feel it.
258
00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:53,131
This guy's gonna get us
the deal we want.
259
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:54,900
I had the deal we want,
and now it's gone,
260
00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:57,536
Just like your imaginary friend
who never worked here.
Calm down.
261
00:08:57,538 --> 00:09:00,672
We're already up three hot dogs
and a pair of sunglasses.
262
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:02,741
Okay, guys,
I ran some numbers,
263
00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:04,910
And I can't come close
to the price you had over there.
264
00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:06,711
He was losing money
on that car.
265
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,313
Oh, my god.
Not helping.
266
00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:09,881
All right, tony,
let's cut to the chase.
267
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,516
You either start negotiating,
268
00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:14,686
Or we're gonna walk back over
there and take that other deal.
269
00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:16,922
Well, if you can still get it,
yeah, th-that's what I would do.
270
00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:19,157
You want to dance.
I don't mind. I'll lead.
271
00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:20,559
$500 down.
272
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,761
Sir [sighs] even with
the deep discounts we offer
273
00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:23,728
During the hot dog-a-thon,
274
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,864
I have never
seen a deal like that.
275
00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:27,666
Hear that, Jay? I won.
What did I win?
276
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:29,000
Not a car!
277
00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:31,836
I got to call
that first guy back.
278
00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:34,673
Tony, clock is ticking.
Your move.
279
00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:36,875
What's that?
280
00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:39,878
Could that be from
your manager, huh, perhaps?
281
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,880
Uh, yeah, he says that
unless you buy a car,
282
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:43,481
You can't have
any more hot dogs.
283
00:09:46,018 --> 00:09:48,620
Okay, so, a boy and a girl
meet at a frat party
284
00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:51,056
And they both think
each other is totally hot,
285
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:52,457
So they pound their beers
and head upstairs.
286
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:53,892
Luke, stop.
287
00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:55,694
She's not hearing this
from you.
288
00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:57,095
Why not?
You're too immature.
289
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,797
I'm not immature,
butt face.
290
00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:00,532
And how would you
say it?
291
00:10:00,534 --> 00:10:02,901
Well, I would say
they meet through friends,
292
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:05,303
And after dating for
an appropriate amount of time,
293
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:07,706
He takes her to
a romantic french bistro.
294
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,708
Then maybe,
if the mood is right...
maybe?
295
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:11,309
I just bought you
a big french dinner.
296
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:13,478
That was your choice.
I owe you nothing.
297
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,480
Your hand was on my knee
the whole time.
298
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:16,948
What was I
supposed to think?
299
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,484
I was expressing affection,
not signing a contract.
300
00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:20,719
This date is over.
301
00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:23,455
Come on, sexy.
Don't be like that.
302
00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:24,889
Make a baby with me.
303
00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:26,992
What is going on
in here?!
304
00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:28,893
Nothing.
305
00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:31,663
¶ I'm gonna tell you ¶
306
00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:34,833
Can I just say that I'm glad
they didn't come get us?
307
00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:36,801
Exactly. Who needs
those clingy broads?
308
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,837
"Broads"? Does anyone
say "broads" anymore?
309
00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,238
I don't know.
I was trying something.
310
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:41,806
You know, maybe they just saw us
with Haley and they were like,
311
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:43,742
"hey, let's give those guys
some space."
312
00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:45,243
Or they already
knew those gays.
313
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:46,444
Or they thought
those young guys
314
00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:47,812
Would be
better dancers than us.
315
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,914
No, no. Since when
does young equal better?
316
00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:51,816
Oh. [ Trills ]
let's show them what we got.
317
00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:52,851
[ Snaps fingers ]
318
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:54,786
Hey, real quick...
What have we got?
319
00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:57,322
Um, well, I can raise the roof
and do the cabbage patch.
320
00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:58,657
Okay, and I can do
the "single lady" hand thing.
321
00:10:58,659 --> 00:10:59,824
Yeah, but put
your neck into it
322
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,192
Or you just look like
the queen waving.
323
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:02,694
Oh, good point.
Okay. Now you're ready.
324
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:03,695
Okay, let's go.
325
00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:05,096
Hey, ladies!
Hey, single ladies!
326
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:07,699
Hey, guys!
[ laughs ]
327
00:11:07,701 --> 00:11:09,501
Oh, thank god.
We need to tap out.
328
00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:11,503
Yeah, these chicks latched on
and won't let go.
329
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:12,704
You know how they are
with us.
330
00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:13,838
No, you don't
have to tell us.
331
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,340
We couldn't get rid
of those three all night.
332
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:18,343
So, why don't you guys go ahead
and split? We'll take over.
333
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:19,678
Are you sure?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go, go.
334
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:20,845
Yes. Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you.
335
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:22,681
We'll hold it down.
Yeah, yeah.
336
00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:24,182
Boys,
where are you going?!
337
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,817
You guys, don't go!
Oh, yeah, don't worry
about it, ladies,
338
00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:30,021
Because we are here now
and we are ready to boogie.
339
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,857
[ Chuckles ] great!
Whoo-hoo.
340
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,626
[ High-pitched voice ]
so fun!
341
00:11:34,628 --> 00:11:36,327
We're gonna go
hit some clubs now.
342
00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:37,696
Oh, clubs.
That sounds rad.
343
00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:38,963
Cool. Super dope.
Yes.
344
00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:41,232
You guys have fun.
Huh?
345
00:11:43,302 --> 00:11:45,503
What happened?
346
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:46,671
Oh, my god.
347
00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:52,243
Stop.
We're gancient.
348
00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:54,646
Really? Dylan?
349
00:11:54,648 --> 00:11:56,414
Mm-hmm.
350
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,016
Dylan?
Yep. Swear it.
351
00:11:58,018 --> 00:11:59,584
Like you
cannot believe.
352
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:04,189
Huh. You know what?
I kind of get him now.
353
00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:05,190
Right?
Yes!
354
00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:06,691
I always got dylan.
355
00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:09,327
Careful.
You're like my grandma.
[ laughs ]
356
00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:10,428
Grandma?
357
00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:13,531
Easy. I have stabbed
closer relatives than you.
358
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:15,033
Ooh.
[ laughs ]
359
00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:17,502
[ laughs ]
I can't believe I'm talking
to my mom about this.
360
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:19,437
Honey, I told you,
you're a grown-up now.
361
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:20,839
I'm gonna respect
your decisions,
362
00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:22,207
And let you
live your life.
363
00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:24,008
It's the best gift
I can give to you
364
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:25,577
On your 21st birthday...
365
00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:29,781
My friendship
and unconditional acceptance.
366
00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:32,383
Aw! That means so much
to me right now.
[ chuckles ]
367
00:12:32,385 --> 00:12:34,552
You know why?
Mnh. Why?
368
00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:36,554
Because I want to get
a tattoo tonight,
369
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:37,722
And I was afraid
you'd say no.
370
00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:39,124
Ay, how could she
say no
371
00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:41,459
After everything
she just said to you?!
372
00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:44,529
How could I say no?
Is there a way?
373
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:46,531
Oh, my god, mom, this is
the best present ever!
374
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:47,966
Could tonight
get any better?!
375
00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:49,400
Yes!
She can pay for it
376
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:50,969
So you can get
a really big one!
377
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,771
[ Screams ]
378
00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:54,472
[ laughs ]
379
00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:55,907
Oh!
380
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:56,975
I'm so excited!
381
00:13:00,746 --> 00:13:02,147
Phil, where are you?
You have to get down here
382
00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:04,382
And stop Haley
from getting a tattoo.
383
00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:05,750
No, you stop her!
384
00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:06,751
I can't.
385
00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:08,419
I made a commitment
to being her friend.
386
00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:09,420
Why would you do that?
387
00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:11,422
I don't know.
I was trying something.
388
00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:13,458
Just get down here with that
car, and we can distract her.
389
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:16,394
I'd love to, but your dad played
hardball and we lost it.
390
00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:18,163
How on earth
did you let that happen?!
391
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:20,565
I don't know. Why don't you ask
the tweety bird on Haley's neck?
392
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:21,966
Oh, god,
not the neck.
393
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:23,568
She's a tough-enough hire
as it is.
394
00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:24,903
Okay, um...
395
00:13:24,905 --> 00:13:26,671
Fine, y-you deal with the car.
I'll deal with the tattoo.
396
00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:27,672
Just get here.
397
00:13:27,674 --> 00:13:28,740
[ Beep ]
398
00:13:28,742 --> 00:13:30,408
Okay, here's what
we're gonna do.
399
00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:31,976
No, no, no, no.
I'm done listening to you.
400
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:33,578
I had a great deal.
You know how I know?
401
00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:35,580
I called the salesman
at the first dealership
402
00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:37,182
While you were sneaking
your third hot dog,
403
00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:38,316
And it already sold.
404
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,585
Fine. We don't need it.
Here's the plan...
405
00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:42,453
We tell them
Haley is really sick.
406
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:44,589
Oh, my god,
you're sick.
407
00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:46,157
Good thinking!
I'll be sick
408
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,293
'cause nobody cares
about people they can't see.
409
00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:50,295
I researched that car online
for weeks,
410
00:13:50,297 --> 00:13:52,664
And then you swoop in
with your tough-guy swagger
411
00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:55,366
To teach me a lesson
about buying cars in the '70s!
412
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:57,168
You know, this all happened
because of you,
413
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,971
Sitting there,
covered in sweat and fear,
414
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:01,773
Undercutting
my every word.
415
00:14:01,775 --> 00:14:03,775
Now, if you want
a really good deal,
416
00:14:03,777 --> 00:14:06,177
You park your butt out here,
play on your internet.
417
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:08,613
I'm going old-school
on this sales weasel,
418
00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:10,882
And I'm gonna
break him in half.
419
00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:12,884
Is somebody
helping you?
420
00:14:12,886 --> 00:14:14,519
He better be!
421
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:17,555
Yes,
thank you so much.
422
00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:19,557
Okay, I am technically
in charge tonight,
423
00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:21,526
So no one tells Lily
where babies come from.
424
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:22,794
I could not agree more.
425
00:14:22,796 --> 00:14:25,396
I don't know why you americans
are so uptight about sex.
426
00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:27,398
Sex is confusing
for young people,
427
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,234
And she doesn't need to learn
from two fuzz-staches
428
00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:30,869
Who barely know anything
themselves.
429
00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:33,671
Excuse me, you might want to
check my browser history.
430
00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:35,506
I've done
some research.
431
00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:37,508
Oh. Well, great. I'm just
gonna go vomit forever now.
432
00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:39,510
[ Door opens ]
what are you guys doing?
433
00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:41,512
Uh, nothing. Mnh-mnh.
Just talking.
Not really anything.
434
00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:43,314
Can we finish
our conversation?
435
00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:45,049
No. Lily, I'm sorry,
but if you have questions,
436
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:46,584
You're gonna
have to ask your dads.
437
00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:47,719
You don't know,
do you?
438
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:49,554
I do so.
[ scoffs ]
uh-huh, I know.
439
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:52,357
No, we don't.
Right, guys?
440
00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:53,691
No, I guess not.
No.
441
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:56,527
That's embarrassing.
Want me to tell you?
442
00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:57,896
What?
443
00:14:57,898 --> 00:15:00,098
Hey, that's why you asked if we
knew where babies Came from...
444
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:02,100
Because you
wanted to tell us?
445
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:04,202
Yeah, you're old.
You should know.
446
00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:06,204
But you might
want to sit down for this.
447
00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:08,773
[ Sighs ]
448
00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:11,376
I found
a tattoo shop nearby.
449
00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:15,413
It has four stars on yelp,
and it has military discount.
450
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:18,016
Well, private dorchester
reporting for duty.
451
00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:20,418
You are just
so helpful tonight, Gloria.
452
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,787
You know what else
you should do?
Another idea.
453
00:15:22,789 --> 00:15:25,423
You should do
mother-and-daughter tattoos,
454
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:27,792
Like... like, uh,
two halves of a heart.
455
00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:29,427
Or the moon
and some stars.
Oh. Mm.
456
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,863
Or, like,
a bird and a rifle.
457
00:15:31,865 --> 00:15:34,232
Oh, my god,
let's do that!
Yes! Yes!
458
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,401
I mean, not that, but, like,
let's get matching tattoos!
459
00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:38,202
I want to do that
with you.
[ sighs ]
460
00:15:38,204 --> 00:15:39,971
You do?
Yeah!
461
00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:41,539
It could be,
like, our special thing
462
00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:43,608
That we have for the rest
of our lives, just us.
463
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,610
And no matter where we go
or what we do,
464
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:48,413
When people ask us
about our tattoos,
465
00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:49,380
We can say
that they're from
466
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:51,482
The best night
of our lives together.
467
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:53,051
That is so sweet.
468
00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:54,619
I mean it.
469
00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,621
I want to do it with you.
Will you?
470
00:15:56,623 --> 00:16:00,258
I can't believe this,
but I will. I will.
471
00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:01,426
I will
'cause I love you.
472
00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:02,927
I love you, too!
I love you. I love you.
473
00:16:02,929 --> 00:16:06,497
They also have piercing!
Enough.
474
00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:08,333
Cameron:
You know what?
475
00:16:08,335 --> 00:16:10,568
I don't even need
to be cool anymore.
476
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:11,803
It's like, why?
477
00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:14,439
Yes, exactly. Why?
[ chuckling ] who cares.
478
00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:17,008
Besides, isn't the cooler thing
not caring if you're cool?
479
00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:18,409
Yeah, and if the new cool
is not caring,
480
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:20,845
Then I'm supercool,
not that I care.
481
00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:23,014
Hey, guys! Guess what.
We're getting matching tattoos.
482
00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:25,416
Love it. We're doing it, too.
We need this.
483
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:27,452
Are you serious?
Are we serious?
484
00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:29,654
As serious
as bert and ernie.
485
00:16:30,589 --> 00:16:33,791
It was supposed to be such
a great moment for me as a dad.
486
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:35,593
I was gonna
walk into that bar,
487
00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:38,596
Give my daughter her new
car keys, and say, "Honey...
488
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:40,531
Chug that drink.
We're going for a spin."
489
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:42,533
[ chuckles ]
huh.
490
00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:45,503
Phil, put these
in your purse.
491
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:49,107
I just beat your unbeatable deal
by 500 samolians.
492
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:50,541
Stick that
in your internet.
493
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:52,710
What?
This guy's a bulldog.
He wore me down.
494
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:54,712
Don't be too hard on yourself.
You never stood a chance.
495
00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:55,880
[ Horn honks ]
496
00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:58,549
Wow! Thank you, Jay.
497
00:16:58,551 --> 00:16:59,951
Hop in. I'll give you
a walk-through.
498
00:16:59,953 --> 00:17:02,153
Okay.
[ laughs ]
499
00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:04,022
Some more good news for you...
Your father-in-law
500
00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:06,891
Also talked me into two years
of free satellite radio.
501
00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:09,527
Of course he did.
The guy's always one-upping me.
502
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,496
I work for months
getting the best deal.
503
00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:15,400
He walks in, bullies you down,
and proves what a pushover I am.
504
00:17:15,402 --> 00:17:17,902
Let me just
show you this horn.
Why? Did he get an upgrade on...
505
00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:20,505
[ horn blaring ]
my father-in-law can
be a jerk, too, so I
got to say something.
506
00:17:20,507 --> 00:17:22,907
You got a much better deal
than he got.
507
00:17:22,909 --> 00:17:24,575
Some horn, huh?
508
00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:26,411
[ Horn honks ]
what?
509
00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:28,513
[ Horn blaring ]
he Came groveling
into my office
510
00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:30,715
And begged me to lie and say
that he got the better price,
but he paid me the difference.
511
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,850
[ Horn honking ]
how much more did he pay?
512
00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:34,085
$1,000.
513
00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:35,586
Oh, my god, he really cares
what I think about him.
514
00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:37,688
More than you know.
That is one beautiful man.
515
00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:39,690
Hey, dumb-ass,
enough with the horn, huh?
516
00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:42,427
[ Horn honks ]
I love you, too!
517
00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:44,595
Oh!
Uh, the tattooing...
518
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:46,030
It does really hurt.
519
00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:47,598
I don't think
I drank enough.
520
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,600
Huh. So, a couple
of firsts tonight.
521
00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:50,835
Okay,
what should we get?
522
00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:51,903
Uh...
[ sighs ]
523
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,438
It needs to be
something important to us.
524
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,206
I-is nelson mandela
still in jail.
525
00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:57,742
I think it should be something
just a little more personal.
526
00:17:57,744 --> 00:18:00,411
Okay, what about
lilies for Lily?
527
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:01,546
Flowers?
528
00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:02,713
Be faster just to
get the word "gay."
529
00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:05,283
I hope everybody's ready!
So beautiful.
530
00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:07,185
Well,
check it, losers.
531
00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:08,753
I am all tatted up.
[ laughs ]
532
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:11,456
Ay, I'm so proud of you.
I can't believe you did this.
533
00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:12,457
I know! I know! I know!
534
00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:14,559
It's very sexy.
Very nice.
Gloria: Yeah.
535
00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:17,562
Well, it is sanskrit
for "mother."
536
00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:21,032
And Haley's gonna get one
that says "daughter."
537
00:18:21,034 --> 00:18:23,434
[ high-pitched voice ]
well...
538
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:24,402
Well, what?
539
00:18:24,404 --> 00:18:25,803
[ Normal voice ]
it's just, um,
540
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:28,973
I-I'm not totally sure
I'm not bailing.
541
00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:31,242
No. No, you're not.
542
00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:33,811
But it just looks
super painful,
543
00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:36,380
A-a-and this is
nothing to do with you,
544
00:18:36,382 --> 00:18:39,417
But I don't think I want
a tattoo when I have old skin.
545
00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:40,585
[ Chuckles ]
546
00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:42,386
Haley, if you don't
get "daughter,"
547
00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:44,589
It's gonna look
like I did this for my mother,
548
00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:46,624
And then I'm gonna
have to saw my leg off.
549
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,059
Or you could just
add to it.
550
00:18:48,061 --> 00:18:50,461
Hey, what's sanskrit
for "issues"?
551
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,463
Haley, come on.
You're up. Let's go.
552
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,465
I don't know, mom.
It's...
553
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,400
Now that I see it,
it's so permanent.
554
00:18:56,402 --> 00:18:59,637
Young lady, I swear to god
I will spank you.
555
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,172
[ Horn honks ]
556
00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:06,177
No, my god!
Is that for me?!
557
00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:08,579
Happy birthday,
sweetheart!
558
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:10,414
Thank you so much!
I love it!
559
00:19:10,416 --> 00:19:11,582
[ Both laugh ]
560
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:13,284
Please tell me
you didn't get a tattoo.
561
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:15,453
No, but talk to mom,
'cause she's trying to make me.
562
00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:18,523
Oh, it's so cute!
Can I take it for a ride?!
Of course!
563
00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:20,525
Lily: When I grow up,
I want to have kids.
564
00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:22,860
You're not going anywhere.
You've been drinking tonight.
565
00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:23,928
Only
'cause you made me.
566
00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:25,363
What are you
trying to do to her?
567
00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:27,765
Lily: Well, first,
I want a perfect husband...
568
00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:28,966
How about you guys?
Come on.
569
00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:30,501
You're gonna get
your tattoo, right?
570
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,537
We realized
we don't need one to be cool.
571
00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:34,539
It seems
sort of desperate.
572
00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:35,940
But yours is cute.
573
00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:37,108
[ High-pitched voice ]
super cute!
Yeah.
574
00:19:37,110 --> 00:19:38,476
Lily: ...Someone who
takes care of me.
575
00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:41,479
Ay, Jay. I'm tired.
I'm hungry. Take me home.
576
00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:43,514
Come on. We'll get you
a big bowl of loco-puffs.
577
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:44,615
[ Chuckles ]
578
00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:46,484
Lily: And then
we're gonna make a baby...
579
00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:49,954
Haley: [ laughs ]
oh, my gosh!
580
00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:51,789
...Which is easy.
581
00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:54,458
You just put
eggs and tadpoles in a glass,
582
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:56,194
And the woman
has to drink it.
583
00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:58,996
Then, the woman and man kiss
and jump on their bed.
584
00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:02,366
After a year, she pees,
and a baby comes out.
585
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,735
Wow.
Oh, my god.
Okay, then.
586
00:20:08,807 --> 00:20:09,840
Now that Claire
has a tattoo,
587
00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:11,676
I can finally
get one of my own!
[ sighs ]
588
00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:12,877
So, I've been
trying to think of a phrase
589
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:14,178
That sums up
the way I live my life.
590
00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:16,847
I don't think small.
I don't do things halfway.
591
00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:19,183
I'm not afraid
of taking risks.
592
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:21,185
So, then, I was trying
to think of the perfect
place to put it, you know?
593
00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:23,187
You don't
want to put it
594
00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:26,190
On a-a body part that's gonna
wrinkle or... or sag too much,
595
00:20:26,192 --> 00:20:27,825
And you don't want it
in someplace
596
00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:30,828
Where if you're
wearing a suit it would show.
True.
597
00:20:30,830 --> 00:20:33,831
So, on my lower back,
I will put the words
598
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:36,834
"go deep." bam.
599
00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:38,202
Think about it.
I heard it.
600
00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:41,205
Okay.
Um...
601
00:20:41,207 --> 00:20:42,773
"do it." no.
Mnh-mnh.
602
00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:44,175
"All-in."
603
00:20:44,177 --> 00:20:45,776
No! No, Phil.
Oh!