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English (HI) Subtitles.
[MP4] Modern Family S06E09 (720p) Strangers in the Night - Web-DL [KoTuWa]
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Look what someone
left in our mailbox... again.
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00:00:04,638 --> 00:00:06,171
Wait, that's like
our fifth one, isn't it?
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00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:07,606
It's getting
kind of creepy.
5
00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:09,475
Oh, relax... it's probably
just from victor,
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00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:11,010
That flower-delivery guy
I dated.
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00:00:11,012 --> 00:00:12,678
Who's victor?
We never heard about him.
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00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:15,481
Oh, because I knew you'd never
let me go out with an ex-con.
9
00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:17,149
Hey, maybe it's dylan
trying to win you back.
10
00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:18,350
Mm.
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00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,352
So, victor...
It's a closed door?
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00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,187
Maybe it's not a guy
who's in love with Haley.
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00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:23,622
Oh, thank you.
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00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:25,457
Maybe it's a guy
who's obsessed with Haley
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00:00:25,459 --> 00:00:26,792
And is getting plastic surgery
to look like her
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00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:28,127
So he can replace her
and live her life.
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00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:29,328
Luke.
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00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:31,030
So they can only
be for Haley?
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00:00:31,032 --> 00:00:33,232
Of course not. Haley isn't
the only hottie living here.
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I washed the car in
my cheer shorts the other day.
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00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:38,037
I definitely
felt eyes on me.
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00:00:38,039 --> 00:00:41,040
Has it ever occurred to you that
those flowers could be for me?
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00:00:41,042 --> 00:00:44,043
What do you mean?
I mean, like,
from my boyfriend.
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00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:45,544
What?
You have a boyfriend?
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00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,579
And you thought
my thing was crazy.
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[ laughs ]
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Captions by vitac...
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¶¶¶
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00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:02,828
Alex,
you have a boyfriend?
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00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:04,830
You can't just drop that
and leave.
31
00:01:04,832 --> 00:01:07,166
Honey, it is so exciting.
Why didn't you tell us?
32
00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:08,600
Because I knew
you'd get all weird
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00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:10,102
And ask
a million stupid questions.
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00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:11,703
What does he look like?
How did you meet him?
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Okay, I'll show you a photo.
[ sighs ]
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Well, I would,
but now my phone's not working.
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Hmm.
Hmm.
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Oh! Oh, here he is.
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00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:23,082
In the supermarket
flyer?
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00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:24,583
That's him
pondering the pork chops?
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00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:26,552
What's to ponder?
They're $4.59 a pound.
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I don't understand.
Why is he in this?
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He's a model, mom.
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Oh, wait, wait.
Your boyfriend's a model?
45
00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:33,192
Well,
how did you meet him?
46
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There's not much crossover
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For a national honor society
student and a pork model.
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Well, actually,
it's a really long story.
49
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I...
[ cellphone rings ]
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Oh, well...
[ chuckles ] it's him.
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Hey, hold on.
52
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This is terrific news.
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I can't believe
she didn't tell us about him.
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Oh, that's
what you can't believe?
55
00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:52,044
What do you mean?
Phil, it is a little weird.
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00:01:52,046 --> 00:01:53,612
I mean, suddenly
she has this boyfriend.
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She wants to show us a picture
on her phone, but she can't,
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And magically
he's in today's paper?
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[ Scoffs ]
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00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:01,453
I don't even want to say it.
Haley.
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She's making it up.
Mm.
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00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:03,989
Why would she do that?
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00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:05,557
Maybe she's upset
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00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:07,593
That none of us thought
those roses could be for her.
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00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:09,394
Oh, and remember when
she couldn't get a
date for homecoming?
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00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:11,263
She said she didn't care,
but I caught her crying
in her room.
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00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:13,599
Mm-hmm. Oh, honey,
what did you say to her?
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00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:15,734
Oh, I-I was super late,
so I didn't really...
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This is sad.
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00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:18,303
Alex has great news
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00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:19,638
And her own mother and sister
don't believe her?
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I want to.
Well, I do believe her.
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I'm gonna tell her to invite
this boyfriend over for dinner,
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And I'll be serving a big,
old platter of "I told you so."
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Oh, great.
76
00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:29,581
Maybe you could also serve
unicorn burgers and magic beans,
77
00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,517
And I'll invite my boyfriend,
bigfoot!
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00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:35,120
Still better than dylan.
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00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:38,357
Okay. I got
a surprise for you.
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00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:39,992
It better
not be another baby.
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00:02:39,994 --> 00:02:42,327
Ta-da!
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00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:44,196
Is there something fun
behind the couch?
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An edgar vanderkoff hand-crafted
blanc de blanc sofa.
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00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:49,768
It was a wedding gift
to ourselves.
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00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:51,303
Plus,
we're showing Lily
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00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:53,305
That we trust her enough
to let us have one nice thing.
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00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:54,806
When you think about it
like that,
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00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:56,608
It's really a gift
for Lily.
Yeah.
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Ohh! Okay, whoa.
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00:02:58,646 --> 00:03:00,779
We only get on this couch
when we know we're not dirty.
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00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,681
That's why
we got her the couch.
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To teach her
about respect.
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00:03:04,552 --> 00:03:06,351
Legs a little wider
please.
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00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,320
Is that a cookie
in your back pocket?
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00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:09,655
Yep.
Okay.
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00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:12,391
Bup-up-up!
Hey, nice and slow.
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00:03:13,893 --> 00:03:15,360
Unh-unh-unh-unh,
watching that.
98
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:18,897
But now that I got you here,
what do you think?
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00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:22,067
That you wore cargo shorts
to my middle-school graduation,
100
00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:24,636
But you're putting on a bow tie
for some dog's birthday party.
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It's all good fun.
The birnbaums can't have kids.
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00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:28,574
They like to do it up big
for buster.
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00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:30,242
I had my fifth birthday
in a break room
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00:03:30,244 --> 00:03:32,477
Of a der wienerschnitzel,
but good for buster.
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Why are you so cranky?
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00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:35,380
[ Sighs ]
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This kid at school
ripped me off for 40 bucks
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In a pyramid scheme.
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Did this
have something to do
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00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:43,222
With that broken plastic pyramid
on your dresser?
111
00:03:43,224 --> 00:03:44,990
It looked like marble
in the picture.
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00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:46,258
[ laughing ] oh, man.
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00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:47,426
Where were you
when I was growing up?
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I'd have had
your dice and cigarettes
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00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:50,162
Before
you got to homeroom.
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00:03:50,164 --> 00:03:51,897
Where'd you go to school...
"guys and dolls"?
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00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:53,565
Bright as you are,
you got to smarten up.
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00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:56,168
You got to be more suspicious
of people.
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Stop being such a patsy.
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00:03:57,705 --> 00:03:59,571
How is this
for the party?
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00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:02,241
It's my first time
meeting your dog-park friends.
122
00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:03,742
Fantastic,
but be careful...
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00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,277
Some of these guys are single
in the group.
124
00:04:05,279 --> 00:04:07,079
What a surprise.
125
00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:08,547
Manny,
we won't be late.
126
00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:10,415
I left dinner
for you and Joe,
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00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,684
But don't eat the deviled eggs
that are in the refrigerator
128
00:04:12,686 --> 00:04:14,920
Because they're
for tomorrow's picnic.
129
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,722
What picnic...
Somebody's cat going to college?
130
00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:18,724
No, some of Gloria's friends
are getting their green cards.
131
00:04:18,726 --> 00:04:20,192
It's actually
a nice group.
132
00:04:20,194 --> 00:04:22,361
Yes, they're very decent,
hardworking people.
133
00:04:22,363 --> 00:04:24,863
Jay met them
at mirabelle's fake wedding.
134
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:26,531
Zooboo!
135
00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:28,533
No, you've already watched
"zooboo" six times today.
136
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:29,701
We're gonna watch
a classic movie
137
00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:31,036
Right here
on the big screen.
138
00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:32,537
You better let him
watch his show.
139
00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:33,639
If not,
he's gonna freak out.
140
00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:34,973
Yesterday
I turned it off,
141
00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:36,842
And he bit
through one of the pool balls.
142
00:04:44,317 --> 00:04:45,717
Hey, Mitchell.
143
00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:47,319
Hi, uh, um...
144
00:04:47,321 --> 00:04:49,554
B...Renda. Ah!
145
00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:51,223
Yes, you thought I wasn't
gonna remember, didn't you?
146
00:04:51,225 --> 00:04:53,425
So, how's
your first week been?
147
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:54,426
I'm getting a divorce.
148
00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:56,128
Oh. God.
149
00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:58,463
Um... Well, I did ask, so...
[ sniffles ]
150
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,399
It's really hard to be alone,
you know?
151
00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:02,000
Yeah.
152
00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:04,569
Hey, you know who else
who stays late is, um, stacey.
153
00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:06,338
14 months.
Oh, gosh.
154
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,240
Well, sometimes it's good to get
in and out fast, though, huh?
155
00:05:08,242 --> 00:05:10,242
We haven't had sex
in 14 months.
156
00:05:10,244 --> 00:05:11,977
We were married
20 years.
157
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,512
[ Gasps ]
well, that's a nice,
round number.
158
00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:15,080
Ohh!
Yeah.
159
00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:17,416
My restless leg syndrome,
like that's a reason to leave?
160
00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:18,984
Gah!
Well, you know,
everybody has...
161
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:22,120
Especially after
all his habits and requests!
162
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:25,590
God! I've done more paddling
than lewis and clark!
163
00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:28,026
Hey, stace,
you out there?
164
00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:30,696
Oh, she's gone.
People leave.
Well, you know,
165
00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:33,298
I-if there's anything
that I can do to help you...
166
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:34,833
Could I stay with you?
167
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,435
What's that?
168
00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:40,005
So, Larry's allowed
to sit on the couch and I'm not?
169
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,540
Well,
Larry is white.
170
00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,375
Hey, you chose me.
171
00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:46,178
Oh, uh,
that's not what I meant.
[ telephone ringing ]
172
00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:47,546
[ Beep ]
173
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:49,381
Hello?
Mitchell: Hey, Cam.
174
00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:50,782
So, listen, you remember
175
00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:52,517
My... my new friend
at work brenda, right?
176
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,052
Who?
177
00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:55,487
That's right...
the pretty one.
Oh!
178
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:57,055
Uh, so,
she and her husband
179
00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:58,390
Are... are going
through some problems at home,
180
00:05:58,392 --> 00:05:59,725
And she was wondering
181
00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:01,193
If she might be
able to stay at our house.
182
00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:02,861
Oh, my gosh.
Yes, of course.
183
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,830
Oh,
shoot and darn it!
184
00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:07,032
I thought
we had something.
185
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:08,467
Mitchell,
I know what you're doing.
186
00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:10,535
Ahh, there's no way
we can reschedule, huh?
187
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,170
Fight your instincts.
188
00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:14,873
This is a chance for you
to show some real compassion.
189
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,242
I need a zoloft.
Okay. Okay.
190
00:06:17,244 --> 00:06:18,877
Well,
I agree with all that,
191
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:21,012
But I...
I am being nice!
192
00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:23,582
Okay?
I... I-I-I talked to her.
193
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,550
I-I asked her if there was
anything I could do to help.
194
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,819
But I... I didn't mean it.
Nobody ever means it.
195
00:06:27,821 --> 00:06:29,388
Mitchell, you want
this growth in your life.
196
00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:31,523
That's why you asked her.
You're just scared.
197
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:34,760
No, no, it was
a completely hollow offer and...
198
00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:35,861
Yeah, that...
That's right.
199
00:06:35,863 --> 00:06:37,062
Okay, george
and wendy hollowoffer.
200
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,497
Dinner at 7:30.
Okay, bye-bye.
201
00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:40,265
You need this,
and I need something nice
202
00:06:40,267 --> 00:06:42,200
To write about you
in our christmas letter.
203
00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:44,035
I love you, too.
Goodbye.
204
00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:46,872
So... Bad news, huh?
205
00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:50,842
Well, only
if you hate home cooking.
206
00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:52,277
Oh!
207
00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:53,779
You're the best!
So...
208
00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:54,546
Mm!
209
00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:56,047
Mm.
210
00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:57,682
I think you got some
of my zoloft. [ Chuckles ]
211
00:06:57,684 --> 00:06:59,050
That's okay.
I could use it.
[ pills rattling ]
212
00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:06,425
[ Hava nagila plays ]
[ dog barking ]
213
00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:07,759
Bark mitzvah...
What a concept.
214
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,194
Beagles and lox,
dog briskets.
215
00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:11,596
Whoever's in charge
of the wordplay, bravo.
216
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:13,632
Is this for dogs
or for people?
217
00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:15,734
I hope it's for people.
I've had four of them.
[ groans ]
218
00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:17,936
Are you having fun?
Ay, yes.
219
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:21,306
Before today, I had never
seen a gravy fountain.
[ chuckles ]
220
00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:24,709
[ Gasps ] oh, gumdrop, look!
Stella's here!
221
00:07:24,711 --> 00:07:26,278
Everybody,
let's get a picture.
222
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:27,712
Jay: [ laughs ]
223
00:07:27,714 --> 00:07:30,582
Pupparazzi!
How great is that?
224
00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:31,817
[ laughs ]
everybody squeeze in.
225
00:07:31,819 --> 00:07:33,718
[ Dog snarls ]
226
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,320
Be careful of her cysts.
She'll nip you.
227
00:07:35,322 --> 00:07:36,555
O-okay.
228
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:38,423
Okay, one more.
Doodles blinked.
229
00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:40,392
Now, really get tight
this time.
230
00:07:40,394 --> 00:07:41,793
No! No, no, no!
231
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,929
Enough. Enough.
Oh, Gloria... Gloria.
232
00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:45,397
Gloria, honey,
I... listen.
233
00:07:45,399 --> 00:07:47,065
I-I know
you're not a dog person.
234
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:48,500
No, I'm okay
with the dogs.
235
00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:50,669
I'm just not
a dog-person person.
236
00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:52,103
[ Sighs ]
237
00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:53,939
You said that this party
was going to be normal.
238
00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:55,106
It's just fun.
239
00:07:55,108 --> 00:07:56,475
[ Sighs ]
240
00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:58,243
There's a buffet
and an open bar for dogs.
241
00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:00,345
My cousin
got married on a raft.
242
00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:03,515
I tried to play along, Jay,
but... but this is crazy.
243
00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:04,983
I have to go home.
[ conga music plays ]
244
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,485
Gloria, now,
do you think it's fair
245
00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:08,854
To use the word "crazy"
about a...
246
00:08:08,856 --> 00:08:11,323
[ dogs barking ]
247
00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:14,259
I-I'll see you at home,
Gloria.
248
00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:15,961
[ All laughing ]
249
00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:17,996
Oh, thank you so much,
you guys.
250
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,599
God, where were you when I was
looking for the perfect man?
251
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:21,933
Well,
probably in missouri
252
00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:23,034
At a bar called
kansas city meats
253
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:24,503
Doing the same thing.
Funny!
254
00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:26,304
[ laughs ]
255
00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:28,173
Look at that smile.
What?
256
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,609
That's what being nice
feels like.
257
00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,611
I like it.
I'm proud of you.
258
00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:33,845
Well, I'm just
letting a person
259
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,447
I barely know
sleep in my home.
260
00:08:35,449 --> 00:08:36,715
I don't know if I'd use
the word "hero," but...
261
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:37,983
"hero"?
262
00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:39,351
Stop it.
You're embarrassing me.
263
00:08:39,353 --> 00:08:41,219
Brenda:
[ sneezes, groans ]
264
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:43,355
Oh, god.
Oh!
265
00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:45,056
Hey,
you guys have a cat?
266
00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:47,058
Um, how about I freshen up
that wine, huh?
267
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:49,060
Oh, no. I am good.
Okay, um...
268
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:51,463
In fact, Cam, what
are... what are we doing
in the living room, here?
269
00:08:51,465 --> 00:08:52,531
You know?
[ laughs ]
270
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:54,165
Yeah, oh,
you know what?
271
00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:55,967
We haven't even given brenda
a tour of our ga... uh, garage.
272
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:57,402
Our... our garage.
Oh, no.
I don't like garages.
273
00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:59,638
That's where doug
kept his precious sailboat.
274
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:00,872
[ Chuckles ]
no eating on the boat.
275
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,507
No drinking on the boat.
276
00:09:02,509 --> 00:09:04,209
All because the one time
I went on the boat, I spilled.
277
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,978
Well, guess what.
Boats go like this.
Oh, geez.
278
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:09,347
Whoo! You know?!
And I'm like...
279
00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:10,749
[ sighs ]
280
00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:13,752
Who... who loves a thing
more than a person?
281
00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:14,920
A monster.
Mm.
282
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:16,855
Have we shown you
our shed?
283
00:09:16,857 --> 00:09:18,390
There's a shed.
284
00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:20,091
He knew what he was
getting into when he married me.
285
00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:22,093
I'm a little messy.
286
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,828
Well, guess what, doug!
287
00:09:23,830 --> 00:09:26,197
Life's a little messy.
288
00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:29,334
Okay, my sinuses leak,
my... my ears run,
289
00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:31,937
And I have
hyperactive sweat glands, but...
290
00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:34,940
You know what?
I do need a refill.
291
00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:36,675
Yeah.
292
00:09:36,677 --> 00:09:38,777
Well, I'm not surprised.
She's losing a lot of fluids.
293
00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:41,446
It's as if doug was over here.
I know. I saw that.
294
00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:43,782
Alec!
295
00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:45,450
Hey.
296
00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:48,119
His dumb dad got transferred
to dumb africa
297
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:49,955
To operate on some dumb babies.
298
00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:52,958
So fixing their hearts
is worth breaking mine?
299
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,292
It's kind of worth it.
300
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:55,961
He can do
like six operations a day.
301
00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:58,763
Yeah. I-I-I understand.
I'm sorry I'm lashing out.
302
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:01,232
I-I just
really like you.
303
00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:02,634
I still like you.
304
00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:06,271
You're making this worse.
Bye, alec.
305
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:08,373
Bye, Alex.
306
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:09,774
Hey.
307
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:11,242
I knew you couldn't leave
without one last kiss!
308
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:13,812
We can work this out!
309
00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:16,815
I'm... I'm... I'm gonna
regret that, aren't I?
310
00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:19,284
Uh, I was hoping you could
throw this away for me.
311
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:21,353
Yeah. Sure.
312
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,493
[ Door closes ]
313
00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:31,496
So, honey,
we've been talking,
314
00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:33,431
And we want to meet
your boyfriend.
Mm-hmm.
315
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:35,233
You just missed him.
316
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:36,334
[ Gasps ]
he was here?
317
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:39,738
He just left.
This is his cup.
318
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:41,272
Oh, look at that.
[ Inhales sharply ]
319
00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:44,175
Oh, it looks
like "Alex."
320
00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:46,778
His name is alec.
The "c" just got smudged.
321
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:49,814
Honey, his name is alec.
But the "c" got smudged.
322
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:51,683
Yeah, um, well,
why don't you just text him
323
00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:53,284
And then invite him back
for dinner?
324
00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:55,120
I can't.
He broke up with me.
325
00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:56,421
Mm.
Oh, no.
326
00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:58,823
[ Sighs ]
he's moving to africa.
327
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:01,593
Because they need
grocery models in africa.
328
00:11:01,595 --> 00:11:03,862
Honey, I'm so sorry.
329
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:05,096
They broke up.
330
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:06,765
I miss him.
331
00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:08,500
Oh, don't worry.
332
00:11:08,502 --> 00:11:11,269
Soon it will be like
he never existed.
333
00:11:12,471 --> 00:11:14,139
[ Joe crying ]
Manny: Okay.
334
00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:15,940
Ay, dios mío, Manny.
What's going on with Joe?
335
00:11:15,942 --> 00:11:17,308
He's a drug addict.
336
00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:20,045
After two hours
of mind-liquefying "zooboo,"
337
00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:22,781
I briefly put on a classic
movie, and he freaked out.
338
00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:24,182
If he could walk better,
339
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,384
I'd seriously suggest
a 12-step program.
340
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:28,620
Ay, no, Joe.
No more "zooboo."
341
00:11:28,622 --> 00:11:31,656
Thank you.
Ay, no.
Turn the big tv off.
342
00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:34,759
If he sees it on, he's going to
want to watch his show.
343
00:11:36,295 --> 00:11:37,729
Why are you home?
344
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:40,732
Buster's party
was a bark mitzvah.
345
00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:43,702
I don't know why Jay
would take me to this place.
346
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:44,803
I don't know.
347
00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:46,471
Maybe this dog stuff
is his way
348
00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:48,640
Of trying to find
a common interest with you.
349
00:11:48,642 --> 00:11:50,408
It's hard.
350
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:53,378
You don't like golf or scotch
or eisenhower documentaries.
351
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,080
It's true.
I don't like ike.
352
00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:58,216
But the people in this party,
they are so obsessed with dogs.
353
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:01,519
Even the punch bowl
was in the shape of a toilet.
354
00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:03,154
Well, it's not like Jay
355
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:04,823
Doesn't get out of
his comfort zone for you.
356
00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:06,858
He's going to your
green-card picnic tomorrow.
357
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:08,326
You're right.
358
00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:11,930
He even bought star-spangled
sombreros for everybody.
359
00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:13,264
It's the wrong country.
360
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:15,734
He never listens,
but... but he's sweet.
361
00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:17,602
[ Sighs ]
you know what?
362
00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:19,871
I should go back
to that party.
363
00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:21,573
You guys want to come?
364
00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:23,441
Might as well.
365
00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:25,877
They had a pretty good spread
at buster's bris.
366
00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:27,912
Okay, let's get this woman
into bed
367
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:30,348
And, in the morning, out of
the house as fast as we can.
368
00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:32,250
Honestly, I don't know
how straight guys do it.
369
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,852
Probably without
those hand gestures.
370
00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:34,853
[ Door opens ]
[ sighs ]
371
00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:36,454
So, nice bath? Ahh.
372
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:38,857
Oh, yeah, the best.
I'm so ready for bed.
373
00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:41,025
Okay.
Ooh, by the way,
I left a ring in there.
374
00:12:41,027 --> 00:12:43,128
Oh, well, we'll get at it
with some bleach in the morning.
375
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:44,529
No, no, no,
my wedding ring.
376
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:45,864
I just don't feel
like wearing it anymore.
377
00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:47,198
Oh, well,
goodbye, bad memories,
378
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,234
Hello to our guest couch,
the cloud.
379
00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:50,468
Ahh!
380
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,237
[ Chuckles ]
that's a small cloud.
381
00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:53,805
Oh, you know what?
It's deceptively comfy.
382
00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:55,440
I sleep on it all the time.
Oh.
383
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,108
Yeah, if I don't
beat him to it first.
Really?
384
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,743
[ Chuckles ]
oh, okay.
385
00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:00,445
All right.
So, there you are.
386
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:01,980
Okay.
Okay, yeah.
387
00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:03,481
I'm not... I'm pretty sure
this isn't gonna work.
388
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:04,949
No, no, this will be fine.
This will be fine.
389
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:06,284
This is what I always do.
It's not a big deal.
390
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,752
Just make this up nice
for you.
391
00:13:07,754 --> 00:13:09,053
There we go. Okay.
Oh, my.
392
00:13:09,055 --> 00:13:10,321
See you
in the morning.
393
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:11,656
Yeah, but my...
My head's...
394
00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:13,558
Oh.
What we were thinking?
395
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,160
Here. Come on.
There it is right there.
396
00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:16,494
There you go.
Okay. Night-night.
Night-night.
397
00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:17,495
Hey, guys.
398
00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:19,097
Here's an idea.
399
00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:22,066
What if I just slept on
your couch in the living room?
400
00:13:22,068 --> 00:13:24,335
Uh...
Uh...
401
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:26,304
[ snoring ]
402
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:27,639
Uh...
403
00:13:27,641 --> 00:13:28,673
I'm shaking.
404
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:29,974
Why? Problem solved.
405
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:32,110
No, she's making
the whole house shake.
406
00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:35,647
[ Snoring loudly ]
407
00:13:41,921 --> 00:13:44,789
[ Dogs barking ]
hey, guys. You're back?
What's going on?
408
00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:47,025
I'm sorry. I love you,
and you love dog parties.
409
00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:49,527
So that means
that I love dog parties.
410
00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:50,929
You don't think
it's crazy anymore?
411
00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:52,363
Gloria:
I didn't say that.
412
00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:54,165
But Manny's right.
413
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:57,702
We should get more involved
in each other's activities.
414
00:13:57,704 --> 00:13:59,671
Wow.
So, this was your idea?
415
00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:01,272
Well, it's sort of
the foundation
416
00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:03,341
Of any healthy marriage,
but I did bring it up.
417
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,609
This is great!
418
00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:06,010
Well, come on.
Give me a hand.
419
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:07,812
We'll grab you and your mom
an ice-cream bone.
420
00:14:07,814 --> 00:14:09,180
Oh.
421
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:10,715
I didn't do much.
I just...
422
00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:12,784
Ruined my plan, that's all.
I wanted her to leave!
423
00:14:12,786 --> 00:14:14,118
What?
424
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:15,386
She was supposed to
storm out of here.
425
00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:17,222
And after,
I go home and say,
426
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:19,324
"maybe we should
do some things separately."
427
00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:21,826
I was gonna use
her bailing out of this
428
00:14:21,828 --> 00:14:24,562
As a chip to get out of
that stupid picnic tomorrow.
429
00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:25,964
But now
I've got no chip.
430
00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:27,866
Hey, how about next time
you devise a plan
431
00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:30,001
To avoid expressing a feeling,
clue me in.
432
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:32,203
You can't be clued in.
You're a patsy.
433
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,472
Hey, um, there was talk
of an ice-cream bone?
434
00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:37,675
I made that up, too.
Use your head!
435
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:39,210
[ Knock on door ]
436
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,312
Hey, honey, you alone?
437
00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:43,715
Do you see anyone else
in here?
438
00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:45,483
Do you?
439
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:49,020
Sweetheart, your father and I
think we owe you an apology.
440
00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:50,588
For what?
Well, this morning
441
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,657
When we didn't think
the rose could be for you,
442
00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:54,559
It seemed like
maybe it hurt your feelings.
443
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:56,261
I guess. A little.
444
00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:58,196
I am so sorry
to make you feel bad.
445
00:14:58,198 --> 00:15:01,366
And it is completely believable
that you would have an admirer.
446
00:15:01,368 --> 00:15:02,400
Okay.
447
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,735
What we're worried
about
448
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,737
Is that we have created
an environment
449
00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:08,039
In which you feel
it's necessary to...
450
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:09,540
Embelli...
Fanta...
451
00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:10,875
Exagger...
Oh, my god.
452
00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:12,510
You guys don't think
alec is real?
453
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:14,779
Sweetheart, I remember
the pressure there was
454
00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:17,015
To fit in in high school.
So do I.
455
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:19,350
And whether you try to fit in
by saying you fought a baby bear
456
00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:21,619
Or by making up
a boyfriend...
457
00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:23,254
You guys
are so unbelievable.
458
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,956
You really think
I'm that pathetic
459
00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:27,258
That I'd have to create
some imaginary boyfriend?
460
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:30,528
You know what's not imaginary?
Your feelings.
461
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,063
Okay, don't! Don't!
462
00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:34,132
F.Y.I., I changed
my facebook status to "single"
463
00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:35,733
About an hour ago,
and guess what.
464
00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:37,068
I already have a date.
465
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:39,103
You don't believe me,
do you?
466
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:41,105
Sweetheart, you've had
two boyfriends in 30 seconds.
467
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:42,473
That practically
Haley's record.
468
00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:44,876
Well, he's real.
His name is teddy.
469
00:15:44,878 --> 00:15:47,378
His name is... Teddy?
470
00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:48,947
Yeah, uh-huh.
471
00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:50,481
Teddy keyes.
472
00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:52,583
[ Keys jingle ]
oh.
473
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:54,786
And what do we know
about this young man?
474
00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:56,387
He's new to our school.
475
00:15:56,389 --> 00:16:00,224
He works at some mattress
store... mattress king.
476
00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:01,893
And he's a bit
of a bad boy.
477
00:16:01,895 --> 00:16:03,761
He had a little problem
with shoplifting.
478
00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:05,563
He spent some time
in juvie.
479
00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:08,299
But, you know, he's not really
my type. He's just a rebound.
480
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:09,667
So I guess
it doesn't really matter.
481
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:11,602
Ugh, why am I
even talking to you guys?
482
00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:12,537
Leave!
483
00:16:14,173 --> 00:16:15,873
Get out!
484
00:16:19,178 --> 00:16:20,778
Did you see the look
in her eyes?
485
00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:22,447
Like she believed
everything she was saying.
486
00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:24,415
That's terrifying.
Like this guy I knew in college.
487
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,317
He was always telling me
about these "crazy parties"
488
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,585
That were
"full of women."
489
00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:28,753
But when I'd ask him
where they were,
490
00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:30,088
He'd give me
a fake address.
491
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:32,323
Makes me wonder
what else she's making up.
492
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,692
I have never met that girl
she tutors in math.
493
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:36,027
Esther choi?
Me neither.
494
00:16:36,029 --> 00:16:37,695
Because
she doesn't exist!
495
00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:40,365
There is not an esther choi on
earth who needs math tutoring.
496
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:42,500
She needs help, Claire.
What do we do?
497
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,102
I mean, should we send her
back to that therapist?
498
00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:45,436
The one
we've never met?
499
00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:47,271
[ Doorbell rings ]
Alex: No! Wait!
500
00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:49,907
Don't open it! Move away!
It's for me! Move!
501
00:16:53,112 --> 00:16:55,346
Damn. You look hot.
502
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,382
[ Chuckles ]
the roses are from you, teddy?
503
00:16:57,384 --> 00:16:59,817
Yeah, I met a guy in juvie
who works at the cemetery.
504
00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:01,486
They got flowers
all over the place.
505
00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:03,654
Oh,
I also got you this.
506
00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:05,456
Sweet. Let's go.
507
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:07,992
My other one of these cracked,
so you can use this one.
508
00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:09,527
[ Chuckling ] okay.
509
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:12,296
Yes! Our little girl
isn't crazy!
510
00:17:12,298 --> 00:17:13,398
Teddy's real!
511
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,733
Real freaky!
I'm going!
512
00:17:17,069 --> 00:17:19,537
[ Snoring ]
513
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,539
Cam, you're snoring.
514
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:22,707
What? Sorry.
515
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,475
[ Snoring continues ]
516
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:25,710
Was that me?
517
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,912
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
518
00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:29,814
What is she doing
out here?
519
00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:32,183
Well, she has
that restless leg.
Both of them?
520
00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:34,886
Oh, my gosh,
get the ice cream!
[ moans ]
521
00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:36,187
What do we do?
Should we wake her up?
522
00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:37,588
And say what?
523
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:39,757
"Would you mind terribly
getting off our couch?
524
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:41,159
You seem to
be glazing it."
525
00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:42,527
Do you have
a better idea?
526
00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:44,362
Okay, okay,
go around the back.
527
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:45,730
What am I doing?
What am I doing?
528
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:48,366
We'll get this
underneath her.
529
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:50,868
Once, I helped a sow give birth
to nine baby piglets
530
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:52,236
On our living room floor.
531
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,238
Didn't get a drop of nothin'
on the linoleum.
532
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,007
We're gonna get back to why
the sow was in the living room.
533
00:17:56,009 --> 00:17:57,241
Lady di's wedding.
It was beautiful.
534
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:58,543
Cam,
she's gonna wake up.
535
00:17:58,545 --> 00:18:00,344
Oh, please, she's got
enough pills in her,
536
00:18:00,346 --> 00:18:01,879
She's gonna rattle
like a maraca.
537
00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:02,947
Roll!
538
00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:06,217
[ Gasps ]
doug, no, I don't wanna.
539
00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:08,186
Okay, okay, what do I do?
What do I do?
540
00:18:08,188 --> 00:18:09,787
You come back
around this way.
541
00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:11,422
No, doug.
542
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,257
Now, what we're gonna do
is I'll push her this way
543
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,292
And pull the blanket.
544
00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:16,194
Okay, I got to pull her?
Okay.
545
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:17,628
[ Grumbles ]
546
00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:19,864
I'm losing her.
I'm losing her.
Oh!
547
00:18:22,901 --> 00:18:25,303
This could work, too.
It's fine.
548
00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:26,471
Ow!
549
00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:27,972
Hi.
550
00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:29,040
Hey.
551
00:18:29,042 --> 00:18:30,808
What... what happened?
552
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:32,477
You were having
a really bad dream,
553
00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:34,378
And then you rolled right off
of our uncomfortable sofa.
554
00:18:34,380 --> 00:18:36,647
I'm sorry.
I-I was lonely.
555
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:38,249
I Came out here,
556
00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:40,384
And then I wound up
waking up the whole house.
557
00:18:40,386 --> 00:18:42,487
I'm the worst houseguest
in the world!
558
00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:43,821
Don't.
Don't.
559
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:45,957
Doug was right.
I'm gonna die alone.
560
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:47,925
Don't.
Don't.
561
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:49,293
Okay, come on.
562
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,162
Can you please
be quiet?
563
00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:54,065
I'm so sorry, Lily.
It's all my fault.
564
00:18:54,067 --> 00:18:55,633
My head hurts.
565
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:57,768
I'm gonna get you
some aspirin.
Okay.
566
00:18:57,770 --> 00:19:01,405
Cam, are we
terrible people?
567
00:19:01,407 --> 00:19:03,341
For protecting
a vanderkoff?
568
00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:04,742
He hanged himself
last year.
569
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:06,477
It's not like they're
making more of those.
570
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:07,945
We just rolled
a bipolar divorcée
571
00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:09,080
Face-first
onto a hardwood floor.
572
00:19:09,082 --> 00:19:10,448
All to protect a couch.
573
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:13,017
It's not just a couch.
Our one nice thing.
574
00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:15,953
The last seven years have been
about sticky countertops
575
00:19:15,955 --> 00:19:18,456
And horsy shower curtains
and childproof locks.
576
00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:20,024
Do you know
what's in this drawer?
577
00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:21,425
I don't know
what's in this drawer.
I have no idea.
578
00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:23,094
Look, I know it's frustrating,
all right?
579
00:19:23,096 --> 00:19:24,862
But is that really a reason
to choose a thing over a person?
580
00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:27,331
I mean, come on.
We're no better than doug.
581
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:28,799
[ Sighs ]
582
00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:31,302
I guess it's not a great example
to set for Lily.
583
00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:33,671
Maybe we don't deserve
one nice thing.
584
00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:37,375
Lily: "and when the sun
Came out, all the turtles,
585
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:39,677
from abner to zeke,
had fun at the picnic."
586
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:41,979
Brenda: Mnh.
"a rainy day for turtles."
587
00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:44,715
Aww. It always
makes Lily feel better.
588
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:46,384
I guess
she just thought that...
589
00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:49,220
We do have
one nice thing.
590
00:19:49,222 --> 00:19:50,688
"And a beautiful rain..."
591
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:51,956
[ sneezes ]
592
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:53,925
Well, we don't have to
watch it die.
593
00:19:58,463 --> 00:20:00,198
Let's go, Jay!
594
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,667
We're supposed to be
at the picnic in 20 minutes!
595
00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:04,402
They've been living in a van
for six years.
596
00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:06,504
They can wait
a little longer.
597
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:09,040
So, today,
instead of watching the game,
598
00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:11,209
I'll be playing lawn darts
with colombians,
599
00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:13,010
Thanks to you
not using your brain.
600
00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:14,412
Here we go...
"the sting."
601
00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:16,013
Well, someone's getting
what they want today.
602
00:20:16,015 --> 00:20:18,249
You finally get to watch
your precious movie, huh?
603
00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:20,418
"A classic tale
about a long con."
604
00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:21,752
Well, you're welcome.
605
00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:23,821
Wait a minute.
606
00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:25,856
"Rogues and double-crossers
abound.
607
00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:27,525
Who will
outsmart whom?"
608
00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:28,726
Son of a bitch.
609
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:30,595
You knew I was
using the bark mitzvah
610
00:20:30,597 --> 00:20:32,096
As a bargaining chip.
611
00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:34,365
That's why you talked Gloria
into coming back...
612
00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:36,867
So I couldn't weasel my way
out of this stupid picnic
613
00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:38,669
And you'd get
the big tv.
614
00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:40,571
Well,
I'm onto you now.
615
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,707
I was just reading
off the dvd box.
616
00:20:48,113 --> 00:20:49,547
I mean, can you believe
617
00:20:49,549 --> 00:20:50,948
All the stuff brenda
brought for one night?
618
00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:52,883
I know. Look at all this stuff
over here.
619
00:20:52,885 --> 00:20:54,118
Super replenishing balm?
620
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:56,120
Uh, pore-reducing
booster serum?
621
00:20:56,122 --> 00:20:58,889
Anti-aging
buffing beads?
622
00:20:58,891 --> 00:21:01,192
It must be so hard
to be a girl.
623
00:21:01,194 --> 00:21:02,560
I know. I know.
624
00:21:02,562 --> 00:21:03,694
It really makes
you worry about the world
625
00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:05,363
We're sending
Lily out into.
626
00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:06,864
Well, there's so much pressure
on girls to be perfect.
627
00:21:06,866 --> 00:21:07,865
You ready?
Yep.
628
00:21:07,867 --> 00:21:09,600
[ Both inhale deeply ]
629
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:11,535
The thing is, Cam, all we can do
is instill our beliefs in her
630
00:21:11,537 --> 00:21:13,271
And hope that she makes
good choices.
631
00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:14,605
Calming mister?
632
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:15,806
It does feel nice
to talk about it.
633
00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:17,208
No, this is
a calming mister.
634
00:21:17,210 --> 00:21:18,909
I just bought this.
Oh, god, yes.
635
00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:20,111
Want to try?
636
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:22,546
[ Both inhale deeply ]