1
00:00:01,574 --> 00:00:03,638
I sure hope Mom and dad are surprised

2
00:00:03,639 --> 00:00:06,575
by this anniversary
breakfast we're bringing them!

3
00:00:06,577 --> 00:00:08,667
I hate to walk in if they are naked.

4
00:00:08,668 --> 00:00:10,894
Yes, that kind of image could haunt someone

5
00:00:10,895 --> 00:00:13,822
if she tries to sleep even years later.

6
00:00:13,823 --> 00:00:15,955
Oh, relax. I think you're safe.

7
00:00:15,956 --> 00:00:17,159
Or are they?

8
00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:20,178
It's our 20th anniversary,
so today at the school fair,

9
00:00:20,179 --> 00:00:21,493
a band called the Dad Beats

10
00:00:21,494 --> 00:00:23,889
is gonna surprise Claire
with a power love ballad.

11
00:00:24,057 --> 00:00:27,180
And the lead singer... you
might want to sit down...

12
00:00:27,238 --> 00:00:28,404
is the one and only...

13
00:00:28,405 --> 00:00:31,019
get up on your feet!... this guy!

14
00:00:32,316 --> 00:00:34,396
♪ She's a pretty sight ♪

15
00:00:34,397 --> 00:00:36,916
♪ Wise as a buddha ♪

16
00:00:36,917 --> 00:00:38,784
♪ But, brother, watch that bite ♪

17
00:00:38,785 --> 00:00:41,385
♪ 'cause she's a Claire-Acuda ♪

18
00:00:42,273 --> 00:00:44,176
Or maybe an existing song.

19
00:00:44,792 --> 00:00:45,963
Thank you.

20
00:00:45,964 --> 00:00:56,824
- synced by yyets / corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -

21
00:00:59,587 --> 00:01:00,547
Do you want to get your face painted

22
00:01:00,548 --> 00:01:01,717
like a pretty butterfly?

23
00:01:01,718 --> 00:01:03,442
No. I'm just not in the mood.

24
00:01:04,001 --> 00:01:05,216
Lily, what about you?

25
00:01:05,796 --> 00:01:06,110
You know what?

26
00:01:06,111 --> 00:01:07,177
Maybe I will have them paint

27
00:01:07,178 --> 00:01:09,007
"Worst coach ever" on my forehead.

28
00:01:09,187 --> 00:01:10,977
Cam's coaching freshman football,

29
00:01:10,978 --> 00:01:12,581
and his team's losing,

30
00:01:12,582 --> 00:01:15,557
and it's making him, uh, a little tense.

31
00:01:15,759 --> 00:01:16,713
Run, run!

32
00:01:16,714 --> 00:01:18,339
Protect it like it's your baby!

33
00:01:18,340 --> 00:01:20,828
You dropped your baby!
You dropped your baby!

34
00:01:20,829 --> 00:01:22,034
They're running away with your baby!

35
00:01:22,035 --> 00:01:23,119
Go get your baby!

36
00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:24,319
That's the worst call

37
00:01:24,320 --> 00:01:27,595
since they cast Russell Crowe
in "Les Mis," right there!

38
00:01:28,057 --> 00:01:29,741
You see the way everyone's glaring at me?

39
00:01:29,742 --> 00:01:32,011
- No.
- Like a big loser coach.

40
00:01:32,012 --> 00:01:32,900
All in your head.

41
00:01:32,901 --> 00:01:33,928
I'm the Hester Prynne of freshman football.

42
00:01:33,929 --> 00:01:36,052
I may as well have a
scarlet "L" sewn on my shirt.

43
00:01:36,053 --> 00:01:37,575
Well, then, everyone
would think you're Laverne.

44
00:01:37,576 --> 00:01:39,724
Coach Tucker.

45
00:01:39,831 --> 00:01:41,519
That was a tough loss last night.

46
00:01:41,836 --> 00:01:42,912
Yeah, yeah. Sure was.

47
00:01:42,913 --> 00:01:44,585
I feel your frustration. Sure do.

48
00:01:44,586 --> 00:01:46,923
Uh, Mitchell, this is
John. He's Trevor's dad.

49
00:01:46,924 --> 00:01:48,383
- Sorry.
- Star running back.

50
00:01:48,384 --> 00:01:49,668
Well, maybe not for long.

51
00:01:49,669 --> 00:01:51,451
I'm seriously thinking about
pulling him from the team.

52
00:01:51,452 --> 00:01:52,344
What? Why?

53
00:01:52,345 --> 00:01:54,018
'Cause Trevor's getting killed out there.

54
00:01:54,179 --> 00:01:55,465
You got no one to block for him.

55
00:01:55,466 --> 00:01:58,105
I... I hear what you're
saying, and you're not wrong,

56
00:01:58,106 --> 00:01:59,830
but give me a little time.

57
00:01:59,831 --> 00:02:01,095
You got one week.

58
00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:05,775
Well, that is not appropriate
fair behavior at all.

59
00:02:06,153 --> 00:02:07,476
You know what might make you feel better?

60
00:02:07,477 --> 00:02:09,558
Gathering my team and putting
the fear of God in them.

61
00:02:09,559 --> 00:02:10,660
I was gonna say a churro.

62
00:02:10,661 --> 00:02:11,740
I can do both!

63
00:02:12,843 --> 00:02:14,114
She's a mess.

64
00:02:14,115 --> 00:02:15,191
Girl...

65
00:02:16,515 --> 00:02:18,891
Hey, hey, lead foot, easy on the turns!

66
00:02:18,892 --> 00:02:20,431
I worked hours on this cake.

67
00:02:20,445 --> 00:02:21,769
You're sure you want to do this?

68
00:02:22,147 --> 00:02:23,705
I'm going to win the cake contest,

69
00:02:23,706 --> 00:02:25,025
and then there'll be no stopping me.

70
00:02:25,026 --> 00:02:26,080
From what? A beating?

71
00:02:26,081 --> 00:02:28,070
First-place ribbons earn respect, Jay.

72
00:02:28,071 --> 00:02:29,131
Not if your competition's

73
00:02:29,132 --> 00:02:30,706
a bunch of old ladies and weirdos.

74
00:02:30,707 --> 00:02:32,049
Could you just be nice?

75
00:02:32,050 --> 00:02:33,408
You didn't seem to care

76
00:02:33,409 --> 00:02:35,553
when you were eating all his practice cake.

77
00:02:35,554 --> 00:02:36,559
Finally.

78
00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:39,775
What are you gonna do, pal?!

79
00:02:39,852 --> 00:02:41,458
About to ask you the same thing.

80
00:02:41,459 --> 00:02:43,140
Did you not see my blinker?

81
00:02:43,141 --> 00:02:45,226
- Nope.
- Then you're blind, 'cause it's on.

82
00:02:45,227 --> 00:02:47,697
Looking at you, I'm guessing
it was on the whole way here.

83
00:02:47,698 --> 00:02:50,782
I got all day and satellite radio.

84
00:02:50,783 --> 00:02:53,303
I don't care if parking
here is on your bucket list.

85
00:02:53,304 --> 00:02:55,798
I've got two books on
tape, a space blanket,

86
00:02:55,799 --> 00:02:57,578
and a protein bar in the glove box.

87
00:02:57,579 --> 00:02:59,481
I will sleep here if I have to.

88
00:02:59,482 --> 00:02:59,993
We're not moving.

89
00:02:59,994 --> 00:03:01,017
Ay, but we are.

90
00:03:01,018 --> 00:03:02,237
Let's go, Manny.

91
00:03:14,669 --> 00:03:16,192
- Who are you?
- Oh, my God!

92
00:03:16,193 --> 00:03:17,928
You scared the hell out of me!

93
00:03:18,145 --> 00:03:20,233
Okay, language. There's
a baby in the house.

94
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:22,111
Uh, that baby happens to be my uncle.

95
00:03:22,112 --> 00:03:24,038
Which one are you?

96
00:03:24,039 --> 00:03:26,312
You need to tell Mr. P
you broke one of his beers.

97
00:03:26,772 --> 00:03:28,160
I'm Alex. Who are you?

98
00:03:28,161 --> 00:03:28,959
I'm their Manny.

99
00:03:29,650 --> 00:03:30,336
Nice try.

100
00:03:30,337 --> 00:03:32,511
I know their Manny, and
you look nothing like him.

101
00:03:32,512 --> 00:03:34,356
Oh, you're Haley.

102
00:03:34,503 --> 00:03:36,352
I'm their male nanny, Andy.

103
00:03:36,353 --> 00:03:37,700
You really need to move.

104
00:03:37,701 --> 00:03:40,099
Okay, well, I'll be out by the pool.

105
00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:41,515
What? Nope!

106
00:03:41,516 --> 00:03:42,240
No, no, no.

107
00:03:42,241 --> 00:03:43,782
Not without permission, you're not.

108
00:03:43,783 --> 00:03:45,862
- I'm gonna call Mr. and Mrs. P.
- Oh, wait!

109
00:03:45,863 --> 00:03:49,343
Um... seriously, Mandy, do you, uh...

110
00:03:49,371 --> 00:03:51,014
do you really have to do that?

111
00:03:51,816 --> 00:03:52,852
I see what you're doing.

112
00:03:52,853 --> 00:03:53,641
Don't bother,

113
00:03:53,642 --> 00:03:54,226
because I have a girlfriend

114
00:03:54,227 --> 00:03:55,688
of eight years back in Utah.

115
00:03:55,689 --> 00:03:56,986
That's pretty young, but
I guess they do things

116
00:03:56,987 --> 00:03:57,935
differently over there.

117
00:03:57,936 --> 00:03:58,950
She's my age,

118
00:03:58,951 --> 00:04:00,830
and we're engaged... to be engaged.

119
00:04:00,831 --> 00:04:02,620
It's... it's a pre-engagement.

120
00:04:02,621 --> 00:04:03,610
She's in the Coast Guard.

121
00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:05,108
- In Utah?
- Yeah.

122
00:04:05,189 --> 00:04:06,919
It's the largest salt lake
in the western hemisphere.

123
00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:08,848
Oh, good. She's protecting our lake.

124
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,295
I'll be out by the pool.

125
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,414
Your boss is calling you.

126
00:04:15,528 --> 00:04:17,457
Hey! There she is.

127
00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:18,481
Yeah, I'm not giving you any money.

128
00:04:18,482 --> 00:04:20,379
I don't need your money I need advice...

129
00:04:21,001 --> 00:04:21,982
about a girl.

130
00:04:22,249 --> 00:04:24,557
Gross, but I'm intrigued, so talk.

131
00:04:24,558 --> 00:04:26,448
Alex. Hey, Girlita.

132
00:04:26,449 --> 00:04:29,122
Sienna... girl!

133
00:04:29,228 --> 00:04:33,143
Sienna is amazing... stylish, worldly...

134
00:04:33,144 --> 00:04:35,312
and she's so new to our
school, she doesn't even realize

135
00:04:35,313 --> 00:04:37,193
that I'm a full social class below her.

136
00:04:37,253 --> 00:04:38,968
I need to cement the friendship

137
00:04:38,969 --> 00:04:40,898
before she finds out we have a cafeteria.

138
00:04:41,186 --> 00:04:42,957
I've been looking all over for you.

139
00:04:42,958 --> 00:04:45,179
Uh, this is my little brother, Luke.

140
00:04:46,212 --> 00:04:48,789
He wants advice on some lame crush he has.

141
00:04:48,790 --> 00:04:49,576
That's huge.

142
00:04:49,577 --> 00:04:50,725
So huge.

143
00:04:50,918 --> 00:04:53,817
So, Luke, who is this mystery woman?

144
00:04:53,962 --> 00:04:56,187
Um... just some girl.

145
00:04:56,428 --> 00:04:58,422
And her name is Sienna.

146
00:05:01,922 --> 00:05:04,065
You know, Manny, I'm just
gonna say this one last time.

147
00:05:04,066 --> 00:05:05,555
- I doubt that.
- Give me that.

148
00:05:06,357 --> 00:05:07,493
You want to fit in?

149
00:05:07,884 --> 00:05:09,307
You're not doing yourself any favors

150
00:05:09,308 --> 00:05:10,555
with this cake contest.

151
00:05:10,556 --> 00:05:11,807
I don't know. Chefs get all the girls.

152
00:05:11,808 --> 00:05:12,791
You're a baker.

153
00:05:12,792 --> 00:05:13,910
Bakers are girls...

154
00:05:13,911 --> 00:05:16,523
Betty Crocker, Mrs. Fields, Little Debbie.

155
00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:18,049
What about the Pillsbury Doughboy?

156
00:05:18,050 --> 00:05:19,607
That's a good one, Manny!

157
00:05:20,881 --> 00:05:22,845
Well, well, well. Jay Pritchett.

158
00:05:22,846 --> 00:05:24,429
Nice of you to finally show up.

159
00:05:24,430 --> 00:05:26,291
- What's happening?
- You're an official fair cop.

160
00:05:26,292 --> 00:05:27,940
- Your wife volunteered you.
- Gloria!

161
00:05:27,941 --> 00:05:29,443
I love you! Have fun!

162
00:05:29,444 --> 00:05:30,919
- What is this?
- It's for charity.

163
00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:32,355
People pay for you to arrest

164
00:05:32,356 --> 00:05:34,002
and throw somebody in jail for 10 minutes.

165
00:05:34,003 --> 00:05:35,369
And here comes your partner.

166
00:05:35,370 --> 00:05:36,166
What's up?

167
00:05:36,167 --> 00:05:38,406
Oh, hell, no. I'm not
working with this clown.

168
00:05:38,407 --> 00:05:40,692
Hey, who are you calling
a clown, bucket list?

169
00:05:40,693 --> 00:05:42,264
I see you two have already met.

170
00:05:42,265 --> 00:05:44,366
That was my space and you know it.

171
00:05:44,367 --> 00:05:46,636
Tell it to my car. You
know where to find it.

172
00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:48,667
Hey, enough of you two squabbling.

173
00:05:48,668 --> 00:05:50,891
I've got the PTA breathing down my neck.

174
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,637
Just pin these on and get to work.

175
00:05:52,638 --> 00:05:54,869
Nope. Can't do the badge. Sorry.

176
00:05:54,870 --> 00:05:56,180
My wife just bought me this shirt,

177
00:05:56,181 --> 00:05:57,692
and if I ruin it, she'll kill me.

178
00:05:57,693 --> 00:05:58,939
You're afraid you'll ruin your blouse.

179
00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:00,497
It's not a blouse! It's a shirt.

180
00:06:00,498 --> 00:06:02,441
She bought it at the men's
department, so it's a shirt.

181
00:06:03,308 --> 00:06:04,389
Here's your first arrest.

182
00:06:04,390 --> 00:06:05,988
She's over at the Dizzy Dragon.

183
00:06:06,008 --> 00:06:08,534
Word on the midway is she's
tougher than she looks.

184
00:06:08,570 --> 00:06:10,627
- Think you can handle it?
- Why couldn't I handle it?

185
00:06:10,791 --> 00:06:12,282
'Cause she's your daughter.

186
00:06:15,749 --> 00:06:16,626
Hello?

187
00:06:16,849 --> 00:06:18,813
Oh, hi, Mr. Chang. Yeah.

188
00:06:19,265 --> 00:06:20,537
What do you mean you're
at the house already?

189
00:06:20,538 --> 00:06:22,389
You're not supposed to be
there for another two hours.

190
00:06:22,390 --> 00:06:23,877
I have a long history of giving Phil

191
00:06:23,878 --> 00:06:25,462
bad anniversary gifts,

192
00:06:25,463 --> 00:06:28,109
but this year, I have
planned something amazing.

193
00:06:28,110 --> 00:06:30,085
The traditional 20th gift is china,

194
00:06:30,086 --> 00:06:32,293
but what am I gonna do, give him a plate?

195
00:06:32,858 --> 00:06:34,086
I already did that.

196
00:06:35,183 --> 00:06:36,647
Okay, bye.

197
00:06:38,017 --> 00:06:40,209
Honey, um, what do you say
we pack it in and go home?

198
00:06:40,210 --> 00:06:41,961
What? No. I mean, we just got here.

199
00:06:41,962 --> 00:06:43,223
I haven't even whacked a mole yet.

200
00:06:43,224 --> 00:06:44,433
I know, but I just got
off the Ferris wheel,

201
00:06:44,434 --> 00:06:45,921
and I'm feeling really queasy.

202
00:06:45,922 --> 00:06:47,551
But you're gonna miss the Dad Beats.

203
00:06:47,552 --> 00:06:48,673
No way. Come on.

204
00:06:48,674 --> 00:06:50,168
Let's get you a fried pickle!

205
00:06:50,169 --> 00:06:51,611
Phil, I might throw up.

206
00:06:52,686 --> 00:06:55,630
No one throws up until I sing.

207
00:06:55,896 --> 00:06:57,212
Phil, we got to go. We got to go home now.

208
00:06:57,213 --> 00:06:59,317
Sure. Why not? Nothing keeping you here.

209
00:06:59,318 --> 00:07:00,457
Why are you acting weird?

210
00:07:00,458 --> 00:07:01,597
I'm not acting weird.

211
00:07:01,598 --> 00:07:02,564
Got her.

212
00:07:02,565 --> 00:07:05,238
Ma'am, I am afraid you are under arrest.

213
00:07:05,239 --> 00:07:08,116
Uh, no. Dad, tell him I
can't do this right now.

214
00:07:08,117 --> 00:07:09,130
Come on. Please.

215
00:07:09,131 --> 00:07:10,144
Go ahead. Read her the charges.

216
00:07:10,205 --> 00:07:11,279
Can't do this.

217
00:07:11,369 --> 00:07:12,164
All right. Let's see.

218
00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:14,199
You have been charged
with unlawful sexiness

219
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,198
and possession of a hot booty.

220
00:07:16,199 --> 00:07:17,056
That is wrong.

221
00:07:17,057 --> 00:07:18,544
- Guilty as charged.
- Stop it!

222
00:07:18,545 --> 00:07:20,192
All right, 10 minutes in the slammer.

223
00:07:20,193 --> 00:07:20,871
No, I can't.

224
00:07:20,872 --> 00:07:22,809
I don't have time for this. Phil!

225
00:07:27,596 --> 00:07:28,139
Oh, my God!

226
00:07:28,140 --> 00:07:29,613
What are you doing, perv?!

227
00:07:29,614 --> 00:07:31,660
Getting proof of where
the two missing beers went.

228
00:07:31,661 --> 00:07:32,752
You can't drink that out here.

229
00:07:32,753 --> 00:07:34,544
Hmm. Let's see if you're right.

230
00:07:35,967 --> 00:07:37,645
Mm, no.

231
00:07:37,646 --> 00:07:39,678
Okay, well, you're in a pool zone,

232
00:07:39,858 --> 00:07:42,249
and that is glass, so that's not safe.

233
00:07:42,250 --> 00:07:43,043
It's dangerous.

234
00:07:43,044 --> 00:07:45,162
What is with you and your
girlfriend protecting water?

235
00:07:45,175 --> 00:07:46,672
Okay, just...

236
00:07:46,673 --> 00:07:48,945
- If you just...
- No... no, uh, uh!

237
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:50,579
Oh! D... ahh! D-d... oh, dilly!

238
00:07:50,582 --> 00:07:51,535
Well, now you've done it.

239
00:07:51,536 --> 00:07:52,716
You're gonna have to climb in there

240
00:07:52,717 --> 00:07:54,011
and get all the glass out of the pool.

241
00:07:54,012 --> 00:07:55,631
Um, I just got my hair straightened,

242
00:07:55,632 --> 00:07:57,109
so that's not gonna happen.

243
00:07:57,669 --> 00:07:59,099
I hate to go all ballistic,

244
00:07:59,100 --> 00:08:01,181
but it has not been a pleasure meeting you.

245
00:08:02,270 --> 00:08:04,468
Do you kiss your imaginary
girlfriend with that mouth?

246
00:08:04,469 --> 00:08:07,458
I do, but she's real.
So, she's a real girl.

247
00:08:08,242 --> 00:08:11,848
It all comes down to
one thing, gentlemen...

248
00:08:12,615 --> 00:08:13,614
focus...

249
00:08:14,432 --> 00:08:16,581
and teamwork and heart!

250
00:08:16,890 --> 00:08:18,098
You see this mallet?

251
00:08:18,356 --> 00:08:21,988
Think I can swing this
here mallet with one finger?

252
00:08:22,394 --> 00:08:25,322
No! I need my whole team!

253
00:08:25,718 --> 00:08:28,957
Because when you're functioning
and working as a team,

254
00:08:28,958 --> 00:08:30,704
gentlemen, look out!

255
00:08:32,127 --> 00:08:33,068
Sassy granny?

256
00:08:33,069 --> 00:08:34,208
Yeah, sassy granny.

257
00:08:34,209 --> 00:08:35,683
Yes, exactly.

258
00:08:35,696 --> 00:08:38,338
Because that is what you
all played like last night...

259
00:08:38,339 --> 00:08:41,260
is a bunch of sassy grannies.

260
00:08:41,478 --> 00:08:42,957
But we're gonna bust our humps this week,

261
00:08:42,958 --> 00:08:44,063
and we're gonna get out there,

262
00:08:44,064 --> 00:08:46,373
and we're gonna play like a bunch of...

263
00:08:46,552 --> 00:08:47,848
Girly men. Got it.

264
00:08:47,849 --> 00:08:49,637
Okay, you know what? Is
this thing plugged in?

265
00:08:49,638 --> 00:08:50,985
It's not electric.

266
00:08:50,986 --> 00:08:53,270
I think it was made in the 1800s.

267
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,942
Okay, well, that's my point.

268
00:08:56,144 --> 00:08:57,471
This is outdated.

269
00:08:57,552 --> 00:08:58,300
This is offensive,

270
00:08:58,301 --> 00:09:00,396
because girls are athletes, too.

271
00:09:01,016 --> 00:09:03,582
So, in conclusion...

272
00:09:04,382 --> 00:09:06,335
if you want to win football games,

273
00:09:06,445 --> 00:09:08,946
we got to go out there and play like a...

274
00:09:11,919 --> 00:09:13,231
What is daddy doing?

275
00:09:13,232 --> 00:09:14,916
Daddy's smashing his demons.

276
00:09:14,917 --> 00:09:17,042
Oh, like the ones you vacuum up at home?

277
00:09:17,043 --> 00:09:18,454
Yeah, yeah. Like that.

278
00:09:19,238 --> 00:09:21,984
Mm! Damn. Near miss.

279
00:09:21,985 --> 00:09:24,353
Why the hell are you so dressed
up for a school fair, anyway?

280
00:09:24,354 --> 00:09:25,719
How is this dressed up?!

281
00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:27,249
I'm Why?

282
00:09:27,420 --> 00:09:29,001
Because my shirt has buttons?

283
00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:30,573
What's that fabric? Is that silk?

284
00:09:30,574 --> 00:09:33,486
Get your vanilla fingers
away from my shirt!

285
00:09:33,487 --> 00:09:34,744
- Blouse.
- Okay...

286
00:09:35,581 --> 00:09:37,527
You want to talk about clothes?
Let's talk about clothes.

287
00:09:37,528 --> 00:09:38,499
Let's go. Let's see.

288
00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:41,045
You look like some kind
of old, washed-up golf pro

289
00:09:41,069 --> 00:09:42,601
who drank his way off the tour

290
00:09:42,602 --> 00:09:45,040
and is one step away from
writing a suicide note

291
00:09:45,041 --> 00:09:46,629
with one of them little pencils.

292
00:09:51,498 --> 00:09:53,423
Sorry. I didn't mean that.

293
00:09:53,424 --> 00:09:55,208
You wouldn't have said
it if you didn't mean it.

294
00:09:56,807 --> 00:09:59,240
I don't have the body to wear
the clothes they make today,

295
00:09:59,241 --> 00:10:00,758
so I dress comfortable.

296
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:02,040
You're in shape, man.

297
00:10:02,041 --> 00:10:03,436
What are you? Late 50s?

298
00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:05,680
Come on. You know I'm not.

299
00:10:05,681 --> 00:10:06,640
I'm serious, man.

300
00:10:06,641 --> 00:10:08,957
Y... you look like you live at the gym.

301
00:10:08,958 --> 00:10:10,432
- I do some walking.
- Yeah?

302
00:10:10,433 --> 00:10:11,490
Pritchett, Williams,

303
00:10:11,491 --> 00:10:13,878
got another arrest over
by the Ferris wheel.

304
00:10:13,879 --> 00:10:14,734
On it.

305
00:10:15,334 --> 00:10:16,270
Here we go.

306
00:10:21,957 --> 00:10:23,033
Why'd we throw out the ice cream?

307
00:10:23,034 --> 00:10:24,146
We got plenty of time.

308
00:10:29,373 --> 00:10:30,486
Seeing Manny up there

309
00:10:30,487 --> 00:10:32,990
with the misfits and their crazy cakes,

310
00:10:32,991 --> 00:10:35,374
I started to wonder if Jay was right.

311
00:10:35,919 --> 00:10:37,252
Maybe Manny would fit in better

312
00:10:37,253 --> 00:10:39,248
if he was more like the other boys.

313
00:10:39,249 --> 00:10:41,517
And maybe I needed to
give him a little push.

314
00:10:47,382 --> 00:10:48,862
I saw you.

315
00:10:54,231 --> 00:10:55,511
All right, young lady.

316
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:56,791
You're under arrest.

317
00:10:56,792 --> 00:10:58,988
- What?
- You have the right to remain silent.

318
00:10:58,989 --> 00:10:59,776
Good luck with that.

319
00:10:59,777 --> 00:11:00,792
Grandpa!

320
00:11:00,793 --> 00:11:02,522
Sorry, honey. Part of the job.

321
00:11:03,373 --> 00:11:04,217
Out of the way!

322
00:11:04,218 --> 00:11:04,916
Let's go.

323
00:11:04,917 --> 00:11:06,593
Who did this?!

324
00:11:06,997 --> 00:11:08,863
Hmm. I guess it's just you and me.

325
00:11:10,919 --> 00:11:13,202
My cake! Somebody ruined it!

326
00:11:13,398 --> 00:11:14,409
Who would do that?!

327
00:11:14,410 --> 00:11:17,334
Ay! Manny, how terrible.
All your hard work.

328
00:11:17,335 --> 00:11:18,515
Oh, well. Let's go ride the rides.

329
00:11:18,516 --> 00:11:20,727
No, no, no. Mom, I know who did it.

330
00:11:20,728 --> 00:11:21,633
Oh, you do?

331
00:11:21,752 --> 00:11:22,763
It was Enid.

332
00:11:22,894 --> 00:11:24,354
Ah. Look at her.

333
00:11:24,390 --> 00:11:25,933
You can see the hate in her eyes.

334
00:11:25,934 --> 00:11:28,142
The minute she saw this,
she felt threatened.

335
00:11:28,948 --> 00:11:30,402
She's cold as ice.

336
00:11:31,193 --> 00:11:32,955
How about you just let it go

337
00:11:32,956 --> 00:11:34,861
and go play with the other boys?

338
00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:36,412
Oh, she'd love that.

339
00:11:37,526 --> 00:11:38,610
Okay, Enid.

340
00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:41,405
You want to dance? Let's dance.

341
00:11:46,709 --> 00:11:48,297
Let me have my cellphone.
Come on. I got to make a call.

342
00:11:48,298 --> 00:11:50,079
Sorry. Those are the rules.

343
00:11:50,950 --> 00:11:52,007
What are you smiling at?

344
00:11:52,008 --> 00:11:53,206
I'm six.

345
00:11:53,207 --> 00:11:53,884
Oh, God.

346
00:11:53,885 --> 00:11:55,781
All right. Got another one for you here.

347
00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:57,016
Hi, honey.

348
00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:58,059
Come on.

349
00:11:58,178 --> 00:12:00,797
One count of being an
aggravating big sister.

350
00:12:00,798 --> 00:12:01,843
That's 8 to 10 minutes.

351
00:12:01,844 --> 00:12:03,917
Luke did this?! I was
just trying to help him.

352
00:12:03,918 --> 00:12:05,022
Help him do what?

353
00:12:05,023 --> 00:12:06,554
My friend Sienna and I
were trying to help him

354
00:12:06,555 --> 00:12:08,064
find this girl he has a crush on.

355
00:12:08,065 --> 00:12:10,739
Honey, Sienna is the
girl he has a crush on.

356
00:12:10,847 --> 00:12:12,589
Come on, haven't you ever
seen the way he looks at her?

357
00:12:12,590 --> 00:12:14,866
It's same way he used to
look at Halloween candy.

358
00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:16,514
Oh, my God. He's gonna do something stupid

359
00:12:16,515 --> 00:12:17,332
and ruin it for me.

360
00:12:17,333 --> 00:12:18,392
I have to get out of here.

361
00:12:18,393 --> 00:12:20,527
Okay. All right. I got a plan. I got this.

362
00:12:20,715 --> 00:12:21,780
I'm gonna create a distraction.

363
00:12:21,781 --> 00:12:23,596
Just got to get that
little guard over here.

364
00:12:23,597 --> 00:12:25,379
You're gonna sit down very quietly,

365
00:12:25,380 --> 00:12:26,215
right by the door.

366
00:12:26,216 --> 00:12:28,665
Great plan, mom. Let me know
how that works out for you.

367
00:12:31,886 --> 00:12:33,027
It's a fake lock.

368
00:12:33,313 --> 00:12:34,843
How long were you gonna sit on that?

369
00:12:38,098 --> 00:12:38,980
Found another one.

370
00:12:39,033 --> 00:12:39,824
I told you.

371
00:12:39,825 --> 00:12:41,201
Are you gonna do that every time?

372
00:12:41,202 --> 00:12:41,998
You found glass,

373
00:12:41,999 --> 00:12:43,292
not the lost city of Atlanta.

374
00:12:43,293 --> 00:12:44,582
Wow, I'm gonna chalk that one up

375
00:12:44,583 --> 00:12:45,843
to a lot of underage drinking.

376
00:12:45,844 --> 00:12:47,298
- You're bleeding.
- What?

377
00:12:48,765 --> 00:12:50,937
I do not like blood. I do not like blood.

378
00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:52,173
- Is it bad?
- Here.

379
00:12:52,630 --> 00:12:54,139
- Oh, my God!
- What?

380
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:56,647
Your fingers are so
stubby, like baby carrots.

381
00:12:56,648 --> 00:12:57,791
Sure. Okay.

382
00:12:57,792 --> 00:12:58,751
Make fun...

383
00:12:58,919 --> 00:13:00,504
till you need me to reach
into a vending machine,

384
00:13:00,505 --> 00:13:01,534
then I'm everyone's best friend.

385
00:13:01,535 --> 00:13:02,392
Here. Hold still.

386
00:13:02,393 --> 00:13:03,731
Let me put some pressure on it.

387
00:13:04,995 --> 00:13:06,706
So, why are you a manny, anyway?

388
00:13:06,764 --> 00:13:08,093
Saving up for college.

389
00:13:08,342 --> 00:13:09,420
Plus, I like kids.

390
00:13:10,427 --> 00:13:11,992
'Cause they make your hands seem normal?

391
00:13:12,461 --> 00:13:14,146
Okay. Thank you.

392
00:13:14,242 --> 00:13:15,497
I'm good. Thank you.

393
00:13:17,201 --> 00:13:18,916
Luke, I hate to say it,

394
00:13:18,917 --> 00:13:20,398
but maybe this girl left.

395
00:13:20,399 --> 00:13:21,905
It's probably for the best.

396
00:13:21,906 --> 00:13:23,619
I mean, even if I found her...

397
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,731
ah, forget it. It's embarrassing.

398
00:13:25,732 --> 00:13:27,523
No. Tell me.

399
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:29,482
I wouldn't know what to do.

400
00:13:30,057 --> 00:13:31,245
I've never kissed a girl before.

401
00:13:31,246 --> 00:13:33,636
Oh! It's not that hard.

402
00:13:33,815 --> 00:13:34,559
You know what?

403
00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:36,187
I'll kiss you once to
show you how it's done.

404
00:13:36,188 --> 00:13:38,121
Really? Okay. Want to
go behind the dumpster?

405
00:13:38,122 --> 00:13:39,829
No. Here is fine.

406
00:13:39,830 --> 00:13:43,565
Okay. It's not really
how I imagined it, but...

407
00:13:44,455 --> 00:13:45,324
Stop!

408
00:13:45,532 --> 00:13:47,137
- What?
- Ignore her. Where were we?

409
00:13:47,138 --> 00:13:48,727
You're the girl! You're his crush!

410
00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:50,916
He's being a little weirdo!
Please don't judge me!

411
00:13:51,096 --> 00:13:52,763
Uh, Luke, is this true?

412
00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:54,695
She's a nerd! Her friends are books!

413
00:13:54,696 --> 00:13:56,371
You're the best thing
that's ever happened to her!

414
00:13:56,372 --> 00:13:58,853
- Alex?
- Um, I don't know what he's talking about!

415
00:13:58,854 --> 00:14:01,355
Okay, I'm just gonna go
catch up with some friends.

416
00:14:02,197 --> 00:14:03,385
Sienna, wait!

417
00:14:05,466 --> 00:14:07,501
Don't be sad. You're
too good for her anyways.

418
00:14:07,502 --> 00:14:09,579
Yeah. Thanks, Alex.

419
00:14:09,580 --> 00:14:10,375
Not you.

420
00:14:10,376 --> 00:14:12,430
I was talking about
myself, you little gnome.

421
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:15,366
There he is.

422
00:14:15,843 --> 00:14:18,005
One more arrest and we
can hang up our badges.

423
00:14:18,006 --> 00:14:19,620
I've seen this punk horsing around earlier.

424
00:14:19,621 --> 00:14:21,015
I'm gonna enjoy this.

425
00:14:22,271 --> 00:14:24,866
Jail time, jean jacket.

426
00:14:31,197 --> 00:14:33,221
- Is it bad?
- You're gonna be fine.

427
00:14:33,390 --> 00:14:35,841
Aah! I should have worn a vest.

428
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,860
Why is everyone just standing around?!

429
00:14:38,876 --> 00:14:40,988
Get this man a towel for his blouse!

430
00:14:43,305 --> 00:14:44,369
So cold.

431
00:14:46,512 --> 00:14:47,859
We were almost out.

432
00:14:48,986 --> 00:14:51,280
- I didn't want it to end like this.
- Don't you do that!

433
00:14:51,413 --> 00:14:52,336
It's not over!

434
00:14:52,337 --> 00:14:53,179
Listen to me.

435
00:14:54,719 --> 00:14:56,504
I need you to tell my wife what happened.

436
00:14:57,409 --> 00:14:58,626
Tell her it wasn't my fault.

437
00:14:58,627 --> 00:15:00,355
You're gonna tell her yourself.

438
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,502
She's standing right
there, and she looks pissed.

439
00:15:04,066 --> 00:15:05,382
Hi, baby.

440
00:15:08,031 --> 00:15:08,808
Phil...

441
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,178
Phil, when I said we needed
to go home, I meant it.

442
00:15:11,179 --> 00:15:13,364
I'm sorry. I should have listened to you.

443
00:15:13,365 --> 00:15:16,464
But you have to stay for just one song.

444
00:15:16,465 --> 00:15:17,376
Why?

445
00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:18,301
Trust me.

446
00:15:19,195 --> 00:15:21,018
Whoo! How's everybody doing?!

447
00:15:21,019 --> 00:15:22,356
Good!

448
00:15:22,374 --> 00:15:23,593
All right, next up, we have

449
00:15:23,594 --> 00:15:25,544
a very special guest joining us.

450
00:15:25,568 --> 00:15:27,870
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for...

451
00:15:28,441 --> 00:15:30,118
- Harold Grossman!
- Wait.

452
00:15:30,858 --> 00:15:31,652
What?

453
00:15:32,541 --> 00:15:35,010
Uh, never really done
anything like this before.

454
00:15:35,838 --> 00:15:38,559
Uh, some of the gang down at the pharmacy

455
00:15:38,851 --> 00:15:40,754
talked me into it, so...

456
00:15:44,673 --> 00:15:47,230
♪ Gotta take a little time ♪

457
00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:52,423
♪ A little time to think things over ♪

458
00:15:54,184 --> 00:15:57,054
♪ I'd better read between the lines ♪

459
00:15:58,379 --> 00:16:02,524
♪ In case I need it when I'm older ♪

460
00:16:03,621 --> 00:16:05,841
♪ In my life ♪

461
00:16:05,842 --> 00:16:08,338
Turns out Harold Grossman, our pharmacist,

462
00:16:08,339 --> 00:16:09,220
is a rock star.

463
00:16:09,221 --> 00:16:11,243
His voice is the drug
he should be dispensing,

464
00:16:11,244 --> 00:16:13,275
because apparently, it's
the cure for everything.

465
00:16:13,399 --> 00:16:15,948
- Time to go. Let's go.
- No, no, no, no, no!

466
00:16:15,949 --> 00:16:18,665
Stay, stay, stay, stay!
Come on, he's great! Whoo!

467
00:16:20,865 --> 00:16:24,488
♪ I want you to show me ♪

468
00:16:26,038 --> 00:16:30,127
♪ I want to feel what love is ♪

469
00:16:30,257 --> 00:16:31,937
♪ And I know, and I know ♪

470
00:16:31,938 --> 00:16:36,499
♪ I know you can show me ♪

471
00:16:38,513 --> 00:16:40,527
Oh, he's incredible!

472
00:16:40,528 --> 00:16:43,883
- I know.
- Incredible!

473
00:16:44,734 --> 00:16:46,691
Harold Grossman, everybody!

474
00:16:47,527 --> 00:16:48,820
Holy cow!

475
00:16:49,279 --> 00:16:50,311
Who knew?!

476
00:16:51,756 --> 00:16:53,202
Let's keep this party going.

477
00:16:53,203 --> 00:16:54,971
Next up, we have one more guest today.

478
00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:55,907
Oh, no.

479
00:16:55,908 --> 00:16:57,082
Harold, yeah.

480
00:16:57,083 --> 00:16:58,840
Harold, Harold!

481
00:16:59,299 --> 00:17:00,578
Okay, now. Okay.

482
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,479
Maybe Harold can come back a little later.

483
00:17:06,201 --> 00:17:07,623
But in the meantime,

484
00:17:07,624 --> 00:17:10,248
the Dad Beats are proud to present...

485
00:17:10,249 --> 00:17:11,560
Phil Dunphy!

486
00:17:11,561 --> 00:17:12,521
Paul who?

487
00:17:12,747 --> 00:17:13,847
Phil?

488
00:17:15,111 --> 00:17:15,898
Phil Dunphy.

489
00:17:15,899 --> 00:17:17,852
- Oh, Phil Dunphy.
- Oh, boy.

490
00:17:27,466 --> 00:17:29,002
There's a white minivan
out in the parking lot

491
00:17:29,003 --> 00:17:34,600
with its lights on...
license plate number TCB-R2D2.

492
00:17:37,692 --> 00:17:39,141
Phil Dunphy, everybody.

493
00:17:41,617 --> 00:17:42,868
Hey, mom. Check it out.

494
00:17:42,869 --> 00:17:44,746
- I finished my cake.
- Oh, good.

495
00:17:44,863 --> 00:17:47,697
It's Los Angeles after an 11.5 earthquake.

496
00:17:47,698 --> 00:17:50,089
I call it earth-cake.

497
00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:52,763
Manny, that's amazing!

498
00:17:52,764 --> 00:17:53,824
You think that's amazing?

499
00:17:53,825 --> 00:17:54,959
Wait till I smash this thing

500
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:56,178
right on top of Enid's piece of sheet cake.

501
00:17:56,179 --> 00:17:59,310
No, no, no! Wait! Manny, Enid didn't do it.

502
00:17:59,311 --> 00:18:00,876
- I did it.
- What?

503
00:18:01,273 --> 00:18:03,041
I was the one who ruined the cake.

504
00:18:03,042 --> 00:18:06,405
I was afraid that all those
boys were gonna make fun of you.

505
00:18:06,758 --> 00:18:10,134
I think I care more about
you fitting in than you do.

506
00:18:10,168 --> 00:18:11,896
No. I care.

507
00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:13,222
I care a lot.

508
00:18:13,511 --> 00:18:15,254
It's just the stuff I'm good at

509
00:18:15,255 --> 00:18:17,094
isn't the stuff that makes you popular.

510
00:18:17,303 --> 00:18:19,024
Contestants, all cakes

511
00:18:19,025 --> 00:18:21,894
must be at the judges' table in 60 seconds.

512
00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:24,880
Ay, there's no way we're gonna
make it through that crowd.

513
00:18:24,881 --> 00:18:26,805
Like heck we won't. Here.

514
00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:28,649
- What?
- Follow my lead.

515
00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:30,043
- Okay.
- Ready? Come on.

516
00:18:30,448 --> 00:18:33,434
Oh, well, look who finally
put down his mallet.

517
00:18:33,435 --> 00:18:35,033
You done having your little temper tantrum?

518
00:18:35,034 --> 00:18:36,151
It wasn't that bad.

519
00:18:36,152 --> 00:18:38,349
Cam, your behavior was completely juvenile,

520
00:18:38,350 --> 00:18:39,800
and I don't think that it
set a very good example...

521
00:18:39,801 --> 00:18:41,753
Hey, hey! No cutsies...

522
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:43,022
for Lily.

523
00:18:43,175 --> 00:18:44,869
I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated.

524
00:18:44,870 --> 00:18:48,686
I... I can't seem to turn
this team into a winner.

525
00:18:48,971 --> 00:18:50,799
Oh, why do you let it
get you so stressed out?

526
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,203
It's just football.

527
00:18:52,204 --> 00:18:53,863
You know what football was to me?

528
00:18:54,085 --> 00:18:55,758
Football was my salvation.

529
00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:57,236
Every time I stepped onto that field,

530
00:18:57,237 --> 00:19:00,632
I wasn't the weird gay
outsider kid anymore.

531
00:19:01,231 --> 00:19:02,828
I inspired my entire team

532
00:19:02,829 --> 00:19:04,698
because I had something to prove.

533
00:19:04,699 --> 00:19:07,091
Where's my kid that has something to prove?

534
00:19:07,092 --> 00:19:07,938
Come on mom!

535
00:19:07,939 --> 00:19:09,452
Stay on my hip! Follow my lead!

536
00:19:09,453 --> 00:19:10,160
Move!

537
00:19:10,644 --> 00:19:12,485
That's exactly what I need.

538
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:15,609
Oh! Come on! Come on, mom.

539
00:19:16,064 --> 00:19:16,965
Cake?

540
00:19:17,770 --> 00:19:18,887
Tell them the good news.

541
00:19:18,888 --> 00:19:20,817
- I won the cake contest!
- The other good news.

542
00:19:20,818 --> 00:19:21,826
He made the football team.

543
00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:23,212
They won their first game.

544
00:19:23,213 --> 00:19:25,337
And the guys love my banana bread.

545
00:19:26,967 --> 00:19:29,528
Keep your eyes closed,
and before you open them,

546
00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:31,638
remember that for 20 years,

547
00:19:31,639 --> 00:19:35,395
you have given me perfect,
creative, thoughtful gifts.

548
00:19:35,396 --> 00:19:37,388
And every year, I have let you down.

549
00:19:37,870 --> 00:19:40,103
You're about to feel
really bad, and I know that,

550
00:19:40,104 --> 00:19:42,996
because it's how I have felt every year.

551
00:19:43,204 --> 00:19:44,749
But, honey, it is not my intention,

552
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:46,889
because I love you.

553
00:19:47,855 --> 00:19:49,752
Happy anniversary.

554
00:19:49,753 --> 00:19:54,379
Oh, my God. Chinese acrobats?!

555
00:19:54,426 --> 00:19:56,283
20 years China.

556
00:19:56,284 --> 00:19:58,282
You're brilliant.

557
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:02,462
- You got it!
- Hey, guys! You're my present!

558
00:20:02,466 --> 00:20:04,238
Oh... oh, what's that?

559
00:20:06,267 --> 00:20:07,191
That's the helicopter.
I should get in there.

560
00:20:07,192 --> 00:20:09,069
No, no, they're... they're here for you.

561
00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:10,494
They're here for you.

562
00:20:11,893 --> 00:20:13,467
Oh... honey.

563
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,450
Don't worry, it was just a couple of beers,

564
00:20:23,451 --> 00:20:24,751
and if you cleaned it up...

565
00:20:25,104 --> 00:20:26,486
Okay, Haley, I love you, too. Bye.

566
00:20:26,487 --> 00:20:27,589
Excuse me, ma'am.

567
00:20:28,230 --> 00:20:29,964
I hear you're a wanted woman.

568
00:20:30,502 --> 00:20:33,033
What you see can and
will be held against you.

569
00:20:33,034 --> 00:20:34,939
You're gonna have to arrest me first.

570
00:20:35,136 --> 00:20:36,528
Bring me some wine.

571
00:20:39,590 --> 00:20:41,675
Mr. P., I have a confession to make.

572
00:20:41,676 --> 00:20:44,380
I'm taking a much more
interesting confession upstairs.

573
00:20:44,614 --> 00:20:45,599
After Joe went down,

574
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:47,380
I had a sip of beer by the pool,

575
00:20:48,017 --> 00:20:49,001
and a bottle broke.

576
00:20:49,002 --> 00:20:50,801
- It was me. I did it.
- Don't sweat it.

577
00:20:50,802 --> 00:20:53,069
I popped a cold one after
dealing with those kids...

578
00:20:53,070 --> 00:20:54,409
Sometimes during.

579
00:20:54,410 --> 00:20:56,029
Thanks, Mr. P. And, hey...

580
00:20:57,187 --> 00:20:58,445
Be careful up there.

581
00:20:58,446 --> 00:20:59,684
We are not that close.

582
00:21:01,085 --> 00:21:07,200
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