1
00:00:04,873 --> 00:00:05,974
Hey, mom...
2
00:00:06,008 --> 00:00:08,026
Listen to this card dad
got for grandpa Jay.
3
00:00:08,060 --> 00:00:10,578
"Hip-hip-hip-hooray!"
4
00:00:10,596 --> 00:00:13,181
"Save the extra hip.
You'll need it someday."
5
00:00:13,199 --> 00:00:14,983
'Cause he's old!
6
00:00:15,017 --> 00:00:16,151
Mm.
7
00:00:16,185 --> 00:00:17,635
You're not giving him that.
8
00:00:17,670 --> 00:00:19,169
Even if he drinks
his other gift first?
9
00:00:19,170 --> 00:00:19,938
Nope.
10
00:00:19,972 --> 00:00:21,089
Ladies...
11
00:00:21,123 --> 00:00:22,957
Do you remember exactly
one year ago today
12
00:00:22,992 --> 00:00:25,160
when you did not have a
gift for your grandfather
13
00:00:25,194 --> 00:00:26,711
and it killed him just a little,
14
00:00:26,745 --> 00:00:28,413
so I suggested you start interviewing
15
00:00:28,447 --> 00:00:30,665
all the members of the
family for a video tribute?
16
00:00:30,699 --> 00:00:33,801
Well, check it and burn--
We totally did that.
17
00:00:33,835 --> 00:00:35,370
- Hmm.
- Almost.
18
00:00:35,404 --> 00:00:36,955
We just need to finish the editing.
19
00:00:37,006 --> 00:00:40,100
And you should talk. You haven't
even started on your gift yet.
20
00:00:40,930 --> 00:00:42,631
That's because I changed mine.
21
00:00:42,682 --> 00:00:44,683
I thought of a better idea yesterday.
22
00:00:44,717 --> 00:00:47,018
I think I came up with a better idea.
23
00:00:47,053 --> 00:00:48,853
Okay. My dad has a picture
24
00:00:48,888 --> 00:00:50,822
of me and Mitchell
when we were kids,
25
00:00:50,856 --> 00:00:52,424
standing in our old backyard.
26
00:00:52,458 --> 00:00:53,858
We're gonna re-create the picture.
27
00:00:53,893 --> 00:00:56,061
I did the same thing last year
for my parents for Christmas,
28
00:00:56,095 --> 00:00:58,250
- and it went over like gangbusters.
- Mm-hmm.
29
00:01:01,001 --> 00:01:02,234
- Mm. Funny.
- Do you remember?
30
00:01:02,253 --> 00:01:03,703
Oh, I do. I do.
31
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:04,711
Ohh.
32
00:01:04,712 --> 00:01:05,861
I do.
33
00:01:05,879 --> 00:01:07,657
Come on, girls, TV off.
34
00:01:07,658 --> 00:01:09,292
It's your grandfather's birthday.
35
00:01:09,326 --> 00:01:11,878
We got to start taking this seriously.
36
00:01:11,912 --> 00:01:14,230
Permission to come aboard.
37
00:01:15,230 --> 00:01:25,230
Sync by YYeTs.net | Corrected by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
38
00:01:26,508 --> 00:01:28,301
My best birthday memory--
39
00:01:28,302 --> 00:01:30,491
I'm a teenager, and for some reason,
40
00:01:30,492 --> 00:01:31,931
I drag this boat out on the lake.
41
00:01:32,556 --> 00:01:35,692
And for hours, I'm just
lying there, fishing,
42
00:01:35,726 --> 00:01:37,527
alone with my thoughts.
43
00:01:37,561 --> 00:01:38,661
Fantastic.
44
00:01:38,696 --> 00:01:41,231
That's all I want this year.
45
00:01:41,265 --> 00:01:43,032
So that's really going to be your day?
46
00:01:43,067 --> 00:01:44,033
You're going fishing?
47
00:01:44,068 --> 00:01:45,735
With time out for a gourmet lunch.
48
00:01:45,769 --> 00:01:48,121
Sausage of the month club
really nailed it in may.
49
00:01:48,155 --> 00:01:49,322
But, honey, no offense.
50
00:01:49,406 --> 00:01:51,574
They almost lost me last
month with that chorizo.
51
00:01:51,608 --> 00:01:53,543
Why "no offense"?
52
00:01:53,577 --> 00:01:56,462
It's a sausage.
It's not on our flag.
53
00:01:59,833 --> 00:02:01,384
Lily, what are you doing here?
54
00:02:01,418 --> 00:02:02,752
Surprise!
55
00:02:02,786 --> 00:02:04,387
We were just on our way
to get Jay's cake
56
00:02:04,421 --> 00:02:05,455
and thought we'd pop by.
57
00:02:05,489 --> 00:02:07,857
Lily was driving me crazy all morning.
58
00:02:07,891 --> 00:02:09,359
I had to get rid of her.
59
00:02:10,594 --> 00:02:11,961
She refuses to get dressed.
60
00:02:11,979 --> 00:02:13,513
Well, did you try bribing her?
61
00:02:13,564 --> 00:02:15,621
Oh, no. Of -- of course I did!
62
00:02:15,622 --> 00:02:17,157
I cannot go back in there, Mitchell.
63
00:02:17,158 --> 00:02:18,484
Why did we ever
decide to have a kid?!
64
00:02:18,519 --> 00:02:20,270
I don't know.
65
00:02:20,304 --> 00:02:21,437
I don't know!
66
00:02:21,471 --> 00:02:22,572
Oh, come on!
67
00:02:22,606 --> 00:02:23,856
She loves you so much.
68
00:02:23,907 --> 00:02:26,642
Just this morning, she was
looking at a picture of you,
69
00:02:26,660 --> 00:02:28,528
and I swear she was
trying to say your name.
70
00:02:28,579 --> 00:02:29,612
Really?
71
00:02:31,165 --> 00:02:33,700
Ay, I would love to spend
more time with her,
72
00:02:33,751 --> 00:02:37,153
but I have to go to the Mall to
get Jay's gift for his birthday.
73
00:02:37,171 --> 00:02:39,422
Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie.
Gloria's busy.
74
00:02:39,456 --> 00:02:40,423
No, don't cry.
75
00:02:40,457 --> 00:02:42,425
We should go.
76
00:02:42,459 --> 00:02:43,960
Oh, maybe I can take her wi--
77
00:02:43,994 --> 00:02:45,511
Okay. Bag's packed. Have fun.
78
00:02:45,546 --> 00:02:46,713
Bye, sweetie.
79
00:02:46,764 --> 00:02:48,514
- Hey, Cam.
- Oh, hey, Manny.
80
00:02:48,549 --> 00:02:49,966
Mom, is Jay still here?
81
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,385
- No, he just left.
- Shoot.
82
00:02:52,436 --> 00:02:53,436
Why? What's up, pal?
83
00:02:53,470 --> 00:02:55,188
I'm going over to a friend's house
84
00:02:55,222 --> 00:02:57,006
where I may have to use this thing.
85
00:02:57,024 --> 00:02:58,141
I only used it once,
86
00:02:58,175 --> 00:02:59,942
and that was to take a
torte out of the oven.
87
00:02:59,977 --> 00:03:03,563
Okay, well, first, let's
loosen this thing up.
88
00:03:05,349 --> 00:03:07,350
- So what's her name?
- How'd you know?
89
00:03:07,368 --> 00:03:09,685
Well, you're pretending to
be something you're not.
90
00:03:09,703 --> 00:03:12,521
Boys do that for girls...
or really dreamy boys.
91
00:03:12,539 --> 00:03:15,258
Her name's Tara.
We have great chats online.
92
00:03:15,292 --> 00:03:17,226
She's really smart and funny,
93
00:03:17,261 --> 00:03:18,928
but she's on the softball team.
94
00:03:18,946 --> 00:03:20,696
Well, nobody's perfect.
95
00:03:20,714 --> 00:03:21,274
Hey, you know what?
96
00:03:21,275 --> 00:03:23,199
Why don't we go outside
and toss the ball around?
97
00:03:23,233 --> 00:03:24,851
Okay.
98
00:03:24,902 --> 00:03:26,802
And you know what?
I wouldn't worry too much.
99
00:03:26,820 --> 00:03:29,105
She's gonna like you even if
sports aren't your thing.
100
00:03:29,123 --> 00:03:30,206
Aren't my thing?
101
00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:31,674
I have a tennis racket upstairs
102
00:03:31,709 --> 00:03:33,359
I only use as a bubble-bath frother.
103
00:03:34,644 --> 00:03:35,611
Wow.
104
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,317
How do you put this on?
105
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:41,454
Excuse me, miss. Sorry.
106
00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:43,723
You answered to "miss"!
107
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,274
Aha! Hilarious.
108
00:03:45,866 --> 00:03:48,049
Glen Whipple, my college rival --
109
00:03:48,050 --> 00:03:49,574
Captain of the cheer squad.
110
00:03:49,575 --> 00:03:51,502
Winner of every robot battle.
111
00:03:51,503 --> 00:03:52,867
every second I spent with the guy
112
00:03:52,868 --> 00:03:54,772
just made me feel
worse about myself.
113
00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:56,147
The only thing I could
compete with him in
114
00:03:56,148 --> 00:03:58,375
was close-up magic.
115
00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:03,914
Well, it's great to see you.
116
00:04:03,949 --> 00:04:05,032
Great to see you, too.
117
00:04:05,083 --> 00:04:06,584
And I believe this is yours.
118
00:04:06,618 --> 00:04:07,635
What? When?
119
00:04:07,669 --> 00:04:10,387
Hey, you headed over to the card shop?
120
00:04:10,422 --> 00:04:12,740
I was in there earlier.
I got myself one of those musical cards.
121
00:04:12,791 --> 00:04:14,658
Oh. They're a little more
expensive, but I can swing it.
122
00:04:14,726 --> 00:04:17,128
Oh. Well, great to see you. Yeah.
123
00:04:17,162 --> 00:04:19,196
By the way, don't leave
without this quarter
124
00:04:19,214 --> 00:04:20,965
from behind your -- come on, Phil!
125
00:04:22,300 --> 00:04:23,601
Good luck, Dunphy.
126
00:04:23,635 --> 00:04:25,135
I'm off to get some
new cross-trainers.
127
00:04:25,153 --> 00:04:25,956
I blow through them pretty
128
00:04:25,957 --> 00:04:27,254
fast with all this
power-walking I'm into.
129
00:04:27,967 --> 00:04:29,217
Catch you later.
130
00:04:33,722 --> 00:04:35,073
Phil?
131
00:04:35,172 --> 00:04:36,273
- Hey!
- Hey.
132
00:04:36,287 --> 00:04:37,516
What are you two doing here?
133
00:04:37,517 --> 00:04:38,619
Shopping for tonight.
134
00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:40,254
Oh, well, I'll walk with you.
135
00:04:40,288 --> 00:04:42,289
- Where were you heading?
- The card store.
136
00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:44,091
What a beautiful child!
137
00:04:44,125 --> 00:04:46,126
You and your wife
must be so happy.
138
00:04:48,313 --> 00:04:50,364
I didn't think anything of it...
139
00:04:50,398 --> 00:04:52,566
Until other people started
making the same mistake.
140
00:04:52,601 --> 00:04:54,635
It reminded me of a college
job I had parking cars.
141
00:04:54,653 --> 00:04:56,870
One day, I had to park
an Aston Martin.
142
00:04:56,905 --> 00:04:58,872
I'll never forget the looks I got
143
00:04:58,907 --> 00:05:00,908
driving that baby down the block.
144
00:05:00,959 --> 00:05:02,743
I wasn't gonna dent this one.
145
00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:05,245
Hey, uh, w-what would you think
146
00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:07,681
about swinging by the shoe store?
147
00:05:07,699 --> 00:05:08,983
Okay, let's go.
148
00:05:13,344 --> 00:05:15,011
I still can't believe
all the looks we got
149
00:05:15,046 --> 00:05:16,079
driving over here.
150
00:05:16,180 --> 00:05:17,531
And yet you wore
the hat the whole time.
151
00:05:17,565 --> 00:05:19,566
Don't you think we should
park on the next block over?
152
00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:21,001
'Cause this is all permit parking.
153
00:05:21,052 --> 00:05:22,552
No, we used to live here.
It's fine.
154
00:05:22,587 --> 00:05:23,887
Yeah, still. I...
155
00:05:25,490 --> 00:05:26,756
I don't think anybody's home.
156
00:05:26,791 --> 00:05:28,475
Here. Hang on to this.
157
00:05:28,509 --> 00:05:30,793
What -- wait,
where are you going?
158
00:05:30,812 --> 00:05:32,962
The backyard. We'll take this
picture really quickly,
159
00:05:32,980 --> 00:05:34,481
and then we'll just get out of here.
160
00:05:34,532 --> 00:05:36,700
No, let's just -- let's just
wait for them to come home.
161
00:05:36,734 --> 00:05:39,195
Okay, that -- that's trespassing!
162
00:05:39,196 --> 00:05:41,130
No, it's not.
We used to live here.
163
00:05:41,148 --> 00:05:43,149
I don't think that does
what you think it does.
164
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:44,434
Of course you would baby out,
165
00:05:44,468 --> 00:05:46,636
because this is just like
pool-hopping all over again.
166
00:05:46,670 --> 00:05:48,505
I just -- I don't see
what was fun about that.
167
00:05:48,539 --> 00:05:50,273
It made going in grandma's
pool less special.
168
00:05:50,291 --> 00:05:52,091
Why don't you try being
a little less special?
169
00:05:54,211 --> 00:05:56,529
Is it far?
170
00:06:03,087 --> 00:06:04,103
Hello.
171
00:06:04,138 --> 00:06:06,122
Hi, it's Sandra
from the dog groomer.
172
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:08,024
I'm trying to reach Gloria.
Stella's ready.
173
00:06:08,058 --> 00:06:09,342
Oh, I must have her phone.
174
00:06:09,376 --> 00:06:10,844
She probably grabbed mine again.
175
00:06:10,878 --> 00:06:12,745
Listen, this is her husband.
176
00:06:12,780 --> 00:06:15,498
You have my number
right there, probably.
177
00:06:15,532 --> 00:06:17,734
- Give that a call.
- Oh, Okay, thanks.
178
00:06:23,824 --> 00:06:26,359
Yeah, it's me again.
I'll be right there.
179
00:06:28,153 --> 00:06:30,066
Yeah, U did blame her for no reason.
180
00:06:30,067 --> 00:06:31,732
You have a little bit of an attitude.
You know that?
181
00:06:31,733 --> 00:06:34,075
You know who did
your job in my day?
182
00:06:34,651 --> 00:06:35,849
A hose.
183
00:06:35,876 --> 00:06:37,310
Okay, a little to your left,
a little to your left.
184
00:06:37,344 --> 00:06:38,762
Yes, okay. Right there.
That's it. That's it.
185
00:06:38,796 --> 00:06:40,196
Perfect. Okay.
186
00:06:40,231 --> 00:06:41,731
And now I must run.
187
00:06:41,766 --> 00:06:43,283
Here, okay. Fast.
188
00:06:43,317 --> 00:06:44,801
Here we go.
189
00:06:44,835 --> 00:06:46,286
It's weird being back here, isn't it?
190
00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:47,987
I know. Everything
looks exactly the same.
191
00:06:48,022 --> 00:06:50,290
- Well, you know, except for the fence.
- Yeah, what's with that?
192
00:06:50,324 --> 00:06:52,175
- Who are they trying to
keep out, anyway? - I know.
193
00:06:53,294 --> 00:06:54,427
Oh. Oh, God. Oh, God.
194
00:06:54,462 --> 00:06:56,096
- Oh, God. Oh, God.
- Oh, wow. Oh, my God.
195
00:06:56,130 --> 00:06:57,830
No, it's okay.
He might be friendly.
196
00:06:57,848 --> 00:06:59,332
He looks nice. He looks nice.
197
00:06:59,350 --> 00:07:00,383
Hi.
198
00:07:00,434 --> 00:07:02,051
No! Oh, God! He's -- quickly, quickly.
199
00:07:02,103 --> 00:07:03,825
Not nice. So not nice.
200
00:07:03,826 --> 00:07:05,493
Hurry! Hurry, hurry, hurry!
201
00:07:05,527 --> 00:07:06,461
Oh! Oh! Oh, go oh, God!
202
00:07:07,863 --> 00:07:08,618
Now what do we do?
203
00:07:08,619 --> 00:07:11,799
Well, you could try telling
him we used to live here.
204
00:07:16,124 --> 00:07:18,238
They're never coming home.
We need to call someone.
205
00:07:18,239 --> 00:07:20,757
Use your phone. Mine's down
there getting rabies on it.
206
00:07:20,791 --> 00:07:22,191
No, I left mine in your car.
207
00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:24,227
- What? - I didn't want to
ruin the line of my pants.
208
00:07:24,228 --> 00:07:25,578
Oh, God.
209
00:07:25,629 --> 00:07:27,763
Oh, look. Somebody's coming.
210
00:07:27,798 --> 00:07:31,100
No. Okay, that is what happens
when you park without a permit.
211
00:07:31,134 --> 00:07:32,652
Stop! That's ours!
212
00:07:32,686 --> 00:07:35,454
We're up here! Stop!
213
00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:37,256
He ignored me.
214
00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:39,609
He didn't stop for the
screaming sailor in a tree?
215
00:07:41,122 --> 00:07:42,172
Give me your shoe.
216
00:07:42,206 --> 00:07:44,835
What, you think that wolf down there
is gonna be afraid of a shoe?
217
00:07:44,869 --> 00:07:47,321
No. No, I don't.
218
00:07:48,306 --> 00:07:50,045
Wh-- what are you doing
with dad's wine?
219
00:07:50,046 --> 00:07:51,402
Getting comfortable.
220
00:07:51,403 --> 00:07:54,322
We could be here
for a really long time.
221
00:07:55,561 --> 00:07:58,580
Whoa! Where'd you
learn how to do that?
222
00:07:58,631 --> 00:08:01,232
Where'd you get a sailor
suit on short notice?
223
00:08:01,267 --> 00:08:03,451
- Fair enough.
- Mm-hmm.
224
00:08:03,485 --> 00:08:05,570
Ew. It's Merlot.
225
00:08:08,340 --> 00:08:09,841
Hello.
226
00:08:09,909 --> 00:08:10,842
Manny!
227
00:08:10,876 --> 00:08:12,110
Hey, how'd it go with Tara?
228
00:08:12,144 --> 00:08:13,311
It's still going on.
229
00:08:13,345 --> 00:08:15,279
The catch part went fine... mostly.
230
00:08:15,297 --> 00:08:17,298
I took a running dive into the dirt.
231
00:08:17,349 --> 00:08:19,150
Oh, well, did you at least
catch the ball?
232
00:08:19,218 --> 00:08:20,735
I was trying to throw the ball!
233
00:08:20,786 --> 00:08:22,653
I'm in her bathroom
looking for band-aids.
234
00:08:22,671 --> 00:08:25,056
I'm trying to get up the nerve
to tell her how I feel.
235
00:08:25,090 --> 00:08:26,507
Well, just be honest.
236
00:08:26,559 --> 00:08:27,926
She intimidates me.
237
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:30,227
Every time I open my mouth,
I say something stupid.
238
00:08:30,246 --> 00:08:31,963
I called her bedroom "fantazing."
239
00:08:31,997 --> 00:08:33,147
That's not even a word!
240
00:08:33,182 --> 00:08:34,933
Are you okay in there, Manny?
241
00:08:34,967 --> 00:08:36,568
Yeah! I'm just water-washing my hands!
242
00:08:37,653 --> 00:08:40,871
Help me! Tell me what to say.
243
00:08:40,890 --> 00:08:42,840
Okay, how about this...
244
00:08:42,875 --> 00:08:46,837
You are the prettiest,
smartest, funniest girl
245
00:08:46,838 --> 00:08:48,205
in the sixth grade.
246
00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:49,907
I know you're only 11,
247
00:08:49,941 --> 00:08:52,743
but I can't stop
thinking about you.
248
00:08:52,777 --> 00:08:54,678
I've loved talking
to you online.
249
00:08:54,713 --> 00:08:57,364
I think we should become
boyfriend and girlfriend.
250
00:08:57,399 --> 00:09:00,334
No, it's not what you think.
I'm talking to a little boy.
251
00:09:01,886 --> 00:09:02,803
Oh.
252
00:09:08,910 --> 00:09:10,544
Hello.
253
00:09:10,578 --> 00:09:13,647
She's not with me, Cam.
I got her phone.
254
00:09:13,682 --> 00:09:15,199
Why are you crying?
255
00:09:15,233 --> 00:09:17,601
How do you get
kicked out of a bakery?
256
00:09:17,635 --> 00:09:18,886
Well, that'll do it.
257
00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:21,204
I sorry to ask you to get
your own birthday cake,
258
00:09:21,222 --> 00:09:24,541
but I can't get ahold of any--
anyone else.
259
00:09:24,576 --> 00:09:26,777
Can't do it. I'm on my way
to the lake...
260
00:09:26,811 --> 00:09:28,045
Finally.
261
00:09:28,079 --> 00:09:29,580
Just get something
at the grocery store.
262
00:09:29,614 --> 00:09:32,415
I am not getting you
a grocery-store cake.
263
00:09:32,416 --> 00:09:34,084
Gloria asked me to handle this.
264
00:09:34,118 --> 00:09:36,353
She's gonna yell at me, Jay.
265
00:09:36,387 --> 00:09:37,971
She can be mean in Spanish!
266
00:09:38,039 --> 00:09:40,206
Okay, fine.
Let's wrap this up, princess.
267
00:09:40,241 --> 00:09:41,541
Okay. Love you. Bye.
268
00:09:42,793 --> 00:09:44,010
What are you guys doing?
269
00:09:44,045 --> 00:09:46,012
Just editing our birthday
tribute to grandpa.
270
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:47,547
You know, some of
the interviews I did
271
00:09:47,581 --> 00:09:48,648
didn't turn out so well.
272
00:09:48,682 --> 00:09:50,417
That's okay. We'll just use
the best stuff
273
00:09:50,451 --> 00:09:51,617
from what we all got.
274
00:09:51,636 --> 00:09:53,086
Okay, Haley, talk about grandpa.
275
00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:54,420
Eww.
276
00:09:54,438 --> 00:09:56,723
I can't talk about grandpa
dressed like this.
277
00:09:59,460 --> 00:10:02,729
I love my --
278
00:10:02,763 --> 00:10:05,282
that stupid dog next door!
279
00:10:05,316 --> 00:10:07,767
Jay! Jay!
280
00:10:07,802 --> 00:10:09,269
Jay!!
281
00:10:09,303 --> 00:10:10,820
...Three, four, five.
282
00:10:10,855 --> 00:10:12,605
- Hey, Uncle Mitch, what do
you think - One, Two...
283
00:10:12,639 --> 00:10:15,091
- What are you doing?
- N-nothing.
284
00:10:15,126 --> 00:10:18,576
You didn't see this, and
w-we don't tell Cam.
285
00:10:18,577 --> 00:10:19,543
Capisce?
286
00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:20,761
It'll only take one minute.
287
00:10:20,796 --> 00:10:21,762
We don't have a minute.
288
00:10:21,797 --> 00:10:22,880
Who's Clive Bixby?
289
00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:24,181
A friend of your mom's.
290
00:10:24,216 --> 00:10:25,549
Not now!
291
00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:27,151
Hey, Uncle Cam, can you to talk about --
292
00:10:27,185 --> 00:10:28,452
Jay. I know. No time.
293
00:10:28,487 --> 00:10:29,787
I got a little girl's
birthday party to save.
294
00:10:29,821 --> 00:10:30,871
Skedaddlo... go!
295
00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:32,523
Oh, not now, honey.
296
00:10:32,557 --> 00:10:34,809
Your father's out back.
Why don't you call him?
297
00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:35,893
Phil!
298
00:10:35,961 --> 00:10:38,529
Dad! Your kids need you!
299
00:10:38,563 --> 00:10:39,764
Grandpa is really cool.
300
00:10:39,798 --> 00:10:41,665
He once let me drink
some of his beer.
301
00:10:41,700 --> 00:10:43,184
For the love of --
302
00:10:43,218 --> 00:10:44,235
Root beer!
303
00:10:45,302 --> 00:10:46,971
I could've sworn we had more!
304
00:10:47,005 --> 00:10:48,539
Well, let me work my magic.
305
00:10:48,573 --> 00:10:50,708
It's all about creative editing.
306
00:10:50,742 --> 00:10:53,761
Just give me two hours
and another hour.
307
00:10:53,812 --> 00:10:56,046
Somebody get me
some chocolate milk
308
00:10:56,081 --> 00:10:58,048
with extra salt.
309
00:10:58,814 --> 00:11:01,115
Do you remember the time
you quit cub scouts
310
00:11:01,149 --> 00:11:03,484
and dad got mad at you
so you ran away up here?
311
00:11:03,502 --> 00:11:05,853
- Right. And you brought me my
dinner up here... - Mm-hmm.
312
00:11:05,888 --> 00:11:07,255
- ...And my comic books.
- Yep.
313
00:11:07,289 --> 00:11:08,973
I think mom and dad would
have been a lot more scared
314
00:11:09,007 --> 00:11:10,858
if you hadn't been running into
the house to use the bathroom.
315
00:11:10,892 --> 00:11:13,544
I can't go outside.
316
00:11:13,579 --> 00:11:15,496
Great, now I'm thinking about it.
317
00:11:15,514 --> 00:11:16,531
Mitchell...
318
00:11:16,565 --> 00:11:17,682
It's ironic.
319
00:11:17,733 --> 00:11:19,784
We always wanted a dog
in this backyard,
320
00:11:19,818 --> 00:11:21,786
and we could never have one.
321
00:11:21,837 --> 00:11:23,137
Y-- Manny got one.
322
00:11:23,172 --> 00:11:24,939
Mm. Manny gets everything.
323
00:11:24,973 --> 00:11:26,207
Yeah.
324
00:11:26,241 --> 00:11:28,910
Hey, you think Manny's
gonna get a third of...
325
00:11:29,961 --> 00:11:31,562
A third of what?
326
00:11:31,596 --> 00:11:32,863
You know.
327
00:11:32,897 --> 00:11:34,298
Oh.
328
00:11:34,332 --> 00:11:36,111
Uh...I guess.
329
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,263
Sure. I mean,
that seems fair, right?
330
00:11:38,314 --> 00:11:39,179
Does it?
331
00:11:39,180 --> 00:11:40,815
Claire, does it?
'Cause I just feel like --
332
00:11:40,850 --> 00:11:43,350
Okay? You know what? I think
we've probably had enough of this.
333
00:11:44,135 --> 00:11:45,669
Okay, wait.
334
00:11:45,704 --> 00:11:48,272
Do you think if we could get
the dog to chase this doll,
335
00:11:48,306 --> 00:11:51,075
then we could run down and
grab the phone really quick?
336
00:11:51,109 --> 00:11:52,376
- We could do that!
- Yeah.
337
00:11:52,410 --> 00:11:54,928
We just are gonna have to
throw it really, really far.
338
00:11:57,182 --> 00:11:58,915
Right. So...
339
00:11:58,933 --> 00:12:01,018
- That way.
- Mm-hmm.
340
00:12:01,052 --> 00:12:03,654
Gloria, um, I'd still love
to swing by that shoe store.
341
00:12:03,688 --> 00:12:07,458
If you're in a hurry,
go by yourself.
342
00:12:07,492 --> 00:12:09,093
No. I'll wait. Whipple!
343
00:12:10,127 --> 00:12:11,695
Whipple!
344
00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:12,946
Okay! Mm!
345
00:12:12,981 --> 00:12:15,099
What do you think?
346
00:12:15,133 --> 00:12:17,217
Oh, it's perfect.
Uh, l-let's see the other side.
347
00:12:17,252 --> 00:12:18,335
Whipple!
348
00:12:18,369 --> 00:12:19,870
Bless you. Thank you.
349
00:12:19,888 --> 00:12:21,305
It's a little too tight, no?
350
00:12:21,339 --> 00:12:23,857
What do you think of the tush?
Oh, I think it's great.
351
00:12:23,892 --> 00:12:25,409
Why don't you keep it
right there for a second.
352
00:12:25,443 --> 00:12:26,643
Let's make sure.
353
00:12:26,661 --> 00:12:28,979
Yeah, but it's a little see-through.
354
00:12:29,013 --> 00:12:32,116
Maybe if I put this underneath,
then it won't, like, show.
355
00:12:32,150 --> 00:12:34,435
No, no, no, no, no.
It looks good that way.
356
00:12:34,486 --> 00:12:36,603
- I go try something else better.
- No, wait!
357
00:12:36,654 --> 00:12:38,822
Wait!
358
00:12:41,109 --> 00:12:43,744
Oh, don't think about it.
Just get it.
359
00:12:43,778 --> 00:12:45,896
Hilarious, whipple.
I'm actually here with someone.
360
00:12:45,914 --> 00:12:47,998
And you finally did make
something disappear.
361
00:12:50,085 --> 00:12:52,286
Just like the date you had
on the final-night dance
362
00:12:52,337 --> 00:12:54,238
of junior tumbling congress.
363
00:12:54,272 --> 00:12:55,372
There was traffic.
364
00:12:55,406 --> 00:12:56,607
Sure.
365
00:12:56,641 --> 00:12:58,509
I think I found something
366
00:12:58,543 --> 00:13:01,345
that is going to make
my husband very happy.
367
00:13:02,380 --> 00:13:04,074
What do you think?
368
00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:06,710
Oh, very happy, Gloria.
369
00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:08,078
Very happy.
370
00:13:11,626 --> 00:13:12,872
Okay, but don't go far away
371
00:13:12,873 --> 00:13:14,938
because I might need help
with the zipper, okay?
372
00:13:14,939 --> 00:13:17,441
Sounds good... with the zipper.
373
00:13:17,475 --> 00:13:18,425
Wow. Phil.
374
00:13:18,459 --> 00:13:21,011
I mean, wow. That's your wife?
375
00:13:21,045 --> 00:13:23,663
It would appear so.
376
00:13:23,731 --> 00:13:24,881
Great to see you, Glen.
377
00:13:24,916 --> 00:13:26,416
Ohh. Hmm.
378
00:13:27,485 --> 00:13:29,953
You know, I got to say,
I'm a little surprised.
379
00:13:29,987 --> 00:13:31,755
Surprised...
380
00:13:31,789 --> 00:13:33,206
Or mystified?
381
00:13:33,257 --> 00:13:35,008
Damn it. It went down your shirt.
382
00:13:35,042 --> 00:13:36,193
You can... keep it.
383
00:13:36,227 --> 00:13:38,228
- I'll see ya.
- No, no. I just always assumed
384
00:13:38,262 --> 00:13:40,130
you would marry Claire Pritchett.
385
00:13:40,164 --> 00:13:41,398
You remember Claire?
386
00:13:41,432 --> 00:13:43,366
Are you kidding?
She was gorgeous.
387
00:13:43,401 --> 00:13:46,062
God, I was so jealous
of you back then.
388
00:13:46,063 --> 00:13:47,397
You were jealous of me?
389
00:13:47,431 --> 00:13:48,398
Oh, man.
390
00:13:48,432 --> 00:13:50,733
Claire Pritchett with the blond hair
391
00:13:50,768 --> 00:13:53,069
and those brown eyes,
great smile.
392
00:13:53,103 --> 00:13:54,937
Oh, I can picture her
smiling right now.
393
00:13:54,955 --> 00:13:56,305
I can't.
394
00:13:56,340 --> 00:13:59,542
I wonder who landed her.
Lucky son of a bitch.
395
00:13:59,576 --> 00:14:01,310
Yeah.
396
00:14:01,345 --> 00:14:03,880
Phil, I need you!
397
00:14:03,914 --> 00:14:05,224
What now?!
398
00:14:05,225 --> 00:14:06,733
Oh, uh, I'm sorry.
399
00:14:06,767 --> 00:14:09,235
I'll be there in a second.
400
00:14:09,286 --> 00:14:11,654
No! How?!
401
00:14:14,662 --> 00:14:16,780
What the hell were you thinking?
402
00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:19,633
I'll answer that for you.
You weren't thinking.
403
00:14:20,668 --> 00:14:22,602
You think that's funny, Popeye?
404
00:14:22,637 --> 00:14:24,754
- No.
- Popeye.
405
00:14:24,772 --> 00:14:25,789
I should be fishing,
406
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:27,557
but I'm hauling
my ass across town
407
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:29,576
trying to save you
two from a little dog.
408
00:14:29,610 --> 00:14:31,928
At least we got to have a
dog for a few minutes.
409
00:14:31,963 --> 00:14:33,163
There we go.
410
00:14:33,197 --> 00:14:35,115
You could show a little
gratitude, you know.
411
00:14:35,149 --> 00:14:36,500
These pants are new.
412
00:14:36,534 --> 00:14:39,169
Climbing over that fence,
I might have wrecked 'em.
413
00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:43,373
That's mature.
414
00:14:44,709 --> 00:14:46,676
- I'm sorry. We're sorry.
- I'm so-- we're sorry.
415
00:14:46,694 --> 00:14:48,228
I'm sorry you said "rectum."
416
00:14:50,531 --> 00:14:51,965
I'm sorry, dad.
417
00:14:51,999 --> 00:14:54,768
- Um, we're so glad that you
came and got us. - Thank you.
418
00:14:54,819 --> 00:14:57,821
It was very smart the way
that you distracted the dog.
419
00:14:57,855 --> 00:15:00,524
12 times a year, I get sausages.
That's it.
420
00:15:00,558 --> 00:15:02,642
What the hell
am I gonna to do till June?
421
00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:03,810
Hey.
422
00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:05,645
Let's see it.
423
00:15:07,165 --> 00:15:08,882
It's beautiful.
424
00:15:08,883 --> 00:15:10,834
We just need some candles.
425
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:13,669
I-I must have in one of the drawers.
426
00:15:13,687 --> 00:15:15,338
Okay.
427
00:15:15,356 --> 00:15:16,940
Froot loop necklace...
428
00:15:16,991 --> 00:15:18,041
Baby Jesus...
429
00:15:19,310 --> 00:15:20,894
...keys -- ay, I was
looking for these keys.
430
00:15:20,945 --> 00:15:22,479
Baby Jesus...
431
00:15:22,513 --> 00:15:23,880
BB Gun...
432
00:15:23,914 --> 00:15:24,947
More baby Jesus...
433
00:15:24,965 --> 00:15:26,466
Ay, another baby --
434
00:15:26,517 --> 00:15:28,952
Jesus, Stella! Don't do that!
435
00:15:28,986 --> 00:15:30,053
Gloria?
436
00:15:30,087 --> 00:15:31,905
No, Jay! Don't come in here!
437
00:15:31,939 --> 00:15:33,222
You cannot see the cake!
438
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:34,557
It's the bad luck!
439
00:15:34,592 --> 00:15:35,725
I already saw the cake.
440
00:15:35,759 --> 00:15:37,861
I bought it while
I was busy not fishing.
441
00:15:37,928 --> 00:15:39,729
No. Go out to the bar. Go!
442
00:15:39,747 --> 00:15:41,464
You never used
to talk to me like that
443
00:15:41,499 --> 00:15:42,866
before we got that damn dog.
444
00:15:43,633 --> 00:15:46,068
Hey, Manny. I almost called you.
445
00:15:46,102 --> 00:15:47,653
How'd it go with Tara?
446
00:15:47,704 --> 00:15:49,037
Okay, I guess.
447
00:15:49,072 --> 00:15:51,840
I used every line you gave me,
and she totally ate it up.
448
00:15:51,874 --> 00:15:53,475
Oh. Well, then, why just okay?
449
00:15:53,509 --> 00:15:55,377
She wants to go on a date now...
450
00:15:55,411 --> 00:15:56,545
To the batting cage.
451
00:15:56,579 --> 00:15:57,963
Ohh.
452
00:15:58,014 --> 00:15:59,414
Not so good with a bat?
453
00:15:59,449 --> 00:16:02,367
I am, as long as I'm using
it to roll out dough.
454
00:16:03,486 --> 00:16:05,988
I'll bet you just need
a little practice.
455
00:16:06,022 --> 00:16:07,756
You know, when I was your age,
456
00:16:07,790 --> 00:16:09,858
I couldn't hit
a balloon with a bat.
457
00:16:09,876 --> 00:16:12,127
Then my father took me
out to the field,
458
00:16:12,161 --> 00:16:13,528
and a couple hours later,
459
00:16:13,563 --> 00:16:15,697
I was knocking the hide
off that ball.
460
00:16:15,732 --> 00:16:18,433
It's one of the best days
we ever had together.
461
00:16:18,468 --> 00:16:19,501
Really?
462
00:16:19,535 --> 00:16:20,752
Yeah.
463
00:16:20,803 --> 00:16:22,838
I just bet you need some
time in a batting cage.
464
00:16:22,872 --> 00:16:24,506
What are you doing this weekend?
465
00:16:24,540 --> 00:16:26,491
- That'd be fun, huh?
- That's a great idea!
466
00:16:26,542 --> 00:16:28,477
I'll ask Jay.
He loves stuff like this.
467
00:16:28,511 --> 00:16:29,978
Oh.
468
00:16:30,013 --> 00:16:31,413
That'll be great for you guys.
469
00:16:31,431 --> 00:16:32,748
Yeah.
470
00:16:32,782 --> 00:16:35,216
And thanks for your help today, Cam.
471
00:16:35,234 --> 00:16:36,618
You got it.
472
00:16:42,777 --> 00:16:44,928
I don't think grandpa's
having the best time.
473
00:16:44,963 --> 00:16:46,830
He keeps going and
getting more drinks.
474
00:16:46,848 --> 00:16:48,198
Well, not every time.
475
00:16:48,232 --> 00:16:50,784
One time he went in to check on
the women's basketball score.
476
00:16:50,818 --> 00:16:53,440
The Sparks are up by 8,
if anyone cares.
477
00:16:54,122 --> 00:16:58,535
Okay, dad, we all owe you an apology.
478
00:16:58,536 --> 00:17:00,737
We were so worried about
giving you a great night
479
00:17:00,805 --> 00:17:02,072
that we ruined your day,
480
00:17:02,106 --> 00:17:04,124
and I'm really sorry we
didn't let you go fishing.
481
00:17:04,175 --> 00:17:05,509
- Sorry, dad.
- Sorry, Jay.
482
00:17:05,543 --> 00:17:07,377
Sorry. Sorry, grandpa. Sorry.
483
00:17:07,411 --> 00:17:09,479
You know what?
I'm acting like a jerk.
484
00:17:09,514 --> 00:17:10,630
What am I, 12?
485
00:17:10,665 --> 00:17:12,115
Hey.
486
00:17:12,183 --> 00:17:14,518
So I didn't get to go fishing.
What, am I gonna pout about it?
487
00:17:14,552 --> 00:17:17,704
I still have my family, and you
guys made such a big fuss.
488
00:17:17,755 --> 00:17:18,889
I love you all.
489
00:17:18,923 --> 00:17:20,357
Aww.
490
00:17:20,391 --> 00:17:22,351
So let's go get
some cake and presents.
491
00:17:22,352 --> 00:17:23,601
Yes!
492
00:17:23,635 --> 00:17:25,553
Cake and presents!
Come on, everybody!
493
00:17:25,571 --> 00:17:27,355
- Honey?
- Yeah?
494
00:17:27,389 --> 00:17:29,207
Have I told you how lucky
I am to have you?
495
00:17:29,241 --> 00:17:30,324
Gloria, excuse me.
496
00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:31,625
'Cause I am.
497
00:17:31,643 --> 00:17:32,727
Okay.
498
00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:34,312
- Hap--
- no singing.
499
00:17:34,346 --> 00:17:36,130
What the hell happened to the cake?
500
00:17:36,165 --> 00:17:37,632
Nothing. It's beautiful.
501
00:17:37,666 --> 00:17:38,966
Okay, let's open the presents.
502
00:17:39,001 --> 00:17:40,935
Yes! Presents! Presents!
Presents! Presents!
503
00:17:40,969 --> 00:17:42,570
- Who's first?
- Mine first. Mine first.
504
00:17:42,588 --> 00:17:44,972
And as you know, Claire and I.
-- We didn't quite finish ours,
505
00:17:45,007 --> 00:17:46,474
but we will be getting that to you.
506
00:17:46,492 --> 00:17:47,692
Fine.
507
00:17:47,743 --> 00:17:50,278
And our gift is a fuller
version of that and a card.
508
00:17:50,312 --> 00:17:51,362
Wonderful.
509
00:17:51,413 --> 00:17:53,214
And, of course,
the cake is, uh, mine.
510
00:17:53,248 --> 00:17:54,415
Fantastic.
511
00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:57,382
And here we have a phone...
512
00:17:57,383 --> 00:17:59,234
In the shape of a mouth.
513
00:17:59,268 --> 00:18:01,836
Ah, you're welcome! Very sexy!
514
00:18:01,887 --> 00:18:03,855
Oh, wait a minute. Don't tell me.
Let me work this out.
515
00:18:03,889 --> 00:18:05,941
I mentioned a few times
that I was thinking
516
00:18:05,975 --> 00:18:08,343
of taking up the saxophone,
and you give me this.
517
00:18:08,377 --> 00:18:10,595
I got it! Is this a sexy phone?!
518
00:18:10,630 --> 00:18:12,314
Happy Birthday!!
519
00:18:12,348 --> 00:18:13,598
Wow.
520
00:18:13,632 --> 00:18:14,983
All right, what else we got?
521
00:18:15,017 --> 00:18:17,235
Oh, uh... N-nothing.
522
00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:19,804
Hmm. Maybe not a perfect showing
523
00:18:19,872 --> 00:18:21,306
on behalf of the adults in the family,
524
00:18:21,340 --> 00:18:23,275
but don't forget the kids
still have their big gift.
525
00:18:23,309 --> 00:18:24,960
And it took us a year to make.
526
00:18:24,994 --> 00:18:27,512
It's in the DVD player.
You've got to come watch it.
527
00:18:27,546 --> 00:18:30,098
- Okay.
- I'm so excited! Let's go, Jay!
528
00:18:30,132 --> 00:18:32,901
- And bring your sexy phone.
- Oh, don't forget that.
529
00:18:32,935 --> 00:18:35,270
Okay, and --
and, uh, we all participated,
530
00:18:35,321 --> 00:18:37,238
so this is kind of from all of us.
531
00:18:37,290 --> 00:18:39,524
Yeah. Hit the lights!
532
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,000
###
533
00:18:45,665 --> 00:18:47,048
-Dad!
-Jay!
534
00:18:47,099 --> 00:18:48,099
Jay!!
535
00:18:49,468 --> 00:18:50,952
- Grandpa...
- We...
536
00:18:50,987 --> 00:18:52,570
- Love...
- Eww!
537
00:18:52,588 --> 00:18:53,421
Capisce?
538
00:18:59,045 --> 00:19:00,945
Well, who wants to see it again?
539
00:19:02,752 --> 00:19:04,853
That's it? That's all you used?
540
00:19:04,887 --> 00:19:06,254
I wasn't even in it!
541
00:19:06,322 --> 00:19:07,272
That totally sucked.
542
00:19:07,306 --> 00:19:09,274
You know what?
Great party.
543
00:19:09,308 --> 00:19:10,909
Thank you all for coming.
544
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:13,578
And I hope you forgive me.
I'm gonna go upstairs,
545
00:19:13,629 --> 00:19:16,431
curl up with a ludlum,
and call it a day.
546
00:19:19,735 --> 00:19:21,803
Hello.
547
00:19:21,838 --> 00:19:23,571
Manny?
548
00:19:23,589 --> 00:19:26,308
Where are you?
549
00:19:26,342 --> 00:19:29,544
What are you doing out there?
550
00:19:32,915 --> 00:19:34,266
What the hell?
551
00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:36,451
I dragged it back here
this afternoon.
552
00:19:36,486 --> 00:19:37,702
I know it's not the lake,
553
00:19:37,737 --> 00:19:39,621
but maybe we could
pop open a few drinks
554
00:19:39,655 --> 00:19:40,856
and hang out on the water?
555
00:19:42,141 --> 00:19:44,443
Now, the old Jay would have said,
556
00:19:44,494 --> 00:19:48,163
"I wanted to be on a lake with
a fishing rod and sunshine,
557
00:19:48,181 --> 00:19:51,299
not bobbing around at night
in a swimming pool."
558
00:19:52,635 --> 00:19:54,202
I miss the old Jay.
559
00:19:55,145 --> 00:19:56,996
This is the life, huh?
560
00:19:57,031 --> 00:19:58,681
It ain't half bad.
561
00:19:58,716 --> 00:20:01,601
Ay, I want to get in the boat!
562
00:20:01,635 --> 00:20:03,319
- Captain?
- All right.
563
00:20:03,354 --> 00:20:05,271
- Me too!
- I want to get in!
564
00:20:05,322 --> 00:20:06,873
Come on, let's get in.
565
00:20:06,924 --> 00:20:09,008
So, how was your day with Claire?
566
00:20:09,060 --> 00:20:11,661
You know, it was actually--
It was really great.
567
00:20:11,695 --> 00:20:13,613
I don't -- I don't always
think about it,
568
00:20:13,664 --> 00:20:16,065
but I-I was really lucky to
have her to grow up with.
569
00:20:16,083 --> 00:20:17,167
You know, I cannot imagine
570
00:20:17,201 --> 00:20:18,585
dealing with my
crazy parents alone.
571
00:20:18,636 --> 00:20:20,002
Yeah.
572
00:20:21,806 --> 00:20:22,839
Cam?
573
00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:24,357
Hmm?
574
00:20:24,392 --> 00:20:26,876
I -- I want to have another baby.
575
00:20:30,564 --> 00:20:32,849
What would you think
about a boy this time?
576
00:20:32,883 --> 00:20:34,367
- All right, easy
- Ay!
577
00:20:34,452 --> 00:20:36,703
- Easy! Easy!
-No, no, no! You're rocking the boat!
578
00:20:36,737 --> 00:20:39,239
I got Claire! I got Claire!
579
00:20:39,290 --> 00:20:40,740
All right, ahoy!
580
00:20:40,791 --> 00:20:42,625
So, if we all just, uh...
581
00:20:47,462 --> 00:20:50,029
Okay, everybody...
upstairs
582
00:20:50,030 --> 00:20:52,382
and, Luke, I want you to get
in a hot bath right away.
583
00:20:52,416 --> 00:20:53,650
- I'm still shivering.
- Ohh.
584
00:20:53,684 --> 00:20:55,092
That's why you don't
stand up in a boat.
585
00:20:55,093 --> 00:20:56,392
I was king of the world.
586
00:20:56,410 --> 00:20:58,227
Well, now you're
dork of the night.
587
00:20:58,245 --> 00:20:59,963
Honey...
588
00:20:59,997 --> 00:21:01,231
Have I told you how lucky I am?
589
00:21:01,265 --> 00:21:02,832
You mean since dinner?
590
00:21:02,867 --> 00:21:04,401
I can't help it --
591
00:21:04,435 --> 00:21:07,604
your beautiful eyes,
your silky hair.
592
00:21:07,638 --> 00:21:09,589
Promise me you'll never...
593
00:21:10,323 --> 00:21:11,374
Change.
594
00:21:11,375 --> 00:21:13,976
I have to admit,
that's kind of hot.
595
00:21:14,845 --> 00:21:16,245
Maybe I will go change.
596
00:21:19,700 --> 00:21:21,483
I still got it.
597
00:21:21,501 --> 00:21:23,152
Knock it off!
598
00:21:25,001 --> 00:21:34,001
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