1
00:00:01,408 --> 00:00:03,713
Good afternoon. Thanks for coming.

2
00:00:03,714 --> 00:00:05,211
It's so nice to spend my birthday

3
00:00:05,245 --> 00:00:08,681
surrounded by so
many smiling faces.

4
00:00:11,724 --> 00:00:14,053
I was almost too
depressed to come today.

5
00:00:14,087 --> 00:00:17,354
I realized I let my
childhood slip away.

6
00:00:17,619 --> 00:00:18,798
*

7
00:00:18,799 --> 00:00:20,053
Come on, everybody!

8
00:00:20,054 --> 00:00:22,695
We're gonna be late
for Manny's birthday!

9
00:00:22,729 --> 00:00:25,448
Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go! Let's go!

10
00:00:26,249 --> 00:00:27,725
I'm ready, mom.

11
00:00:27,726 --> 00:00:29,135
- You sure, honey?
- Yep.

12
00:00:29,169 --> 00:00:30,436
Then take a quick
peek at your feet.

13
00:00:31,738 --> 00:00:34,407
Oh! Come on, Luke!

14
00:00:35,099 --> 00:00:37,232
Are you gonna walk faster,
or should I get Lily's stroller

15
00:00:37,233 --> 00:00:38,444
out of the car and push you?

16
00:00:38,462 --> 00:00:39,962
Would you relax?
The restaurant's like

17
00:00:39,997 --> 00:00:41,881
five minutes away from here...
Ohh, free lotion.

18
00:00:41,915 --> 00:00:44,153
Stop stopping to smell the roses.
Manny's present.

19
00:00:44,154 --> 00:00:46,135
Ohh, you are such a Pritchett.

20
00:00:46,170 --> 00:00:47,386
What's that supposed to mean?

21
00:00:47,421 --> 00:00:49,555
Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go! Let's go!

22
00:00:49,590 --> 00:00:51,307
I'm looking for the keys!

23
00:00:51,341 --> 00:00:52,558
Of course you are.

24
00:00:52,593 --> 00:00:53,976
I like being on time.

25
00:00:54,011 --> 00:00:56,012
It's easy 'cause I'm organized.

26
00:00:56,063 --> 00:00:57,313
Not my wife.

27
00:00:57,347 --> 00:00:58,381
You'd think growing up

28
00:00:58,382 --> 00:01:00,566
in a place full of death
squads and drunken uncles,

29
00:01:00,601 --> 00:01:02,535
she'd have learned to
move a little bit faster.

30
00:01:02,569 --> 00:01:04,136
Ay! Sorry, sorry.

31
00:01:05,276 --> 00:01:06,739
I couldn't find my earring.

32
00:01:06,773 --> 00:01:09,642
So, what were we talking about, huh?

33
00:01:22,389 --> 00:01:24,323
Honey, come on.
We're gonna be late. Let's go.

34
00:01:24,341 --> 00:01:26,676
Yeah, yeah, just filling out
the application to family camp.

35
00:01:26,710 --> 00:01:28,585
- Ohh. - You don't win
the "Dirty dancing" competition

36
00:01:28,586 --> 00:01:30,329
and not go back to
defend your crown.

37
00:01:30,347 --> 00:01:32,215
Hmm. That's right. Come on, honey.

38
00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:35,501
But shoot for the king...

39
00:01:35,535 --> 00:01:37,720
You better kill him.

40
00:01:38,097 --> 00:01:40,339
Every summer, we spend
a week at family camp.

41
00:01:40,357 --> 00:01:43,693
It's just like regular camp,
but with the family!

42
00:01:43,727 --> 00:01:47,445
Yeah. I don't think that
needed any clarification, Phil.

43
00:01:47,446 --> 00:01:48,575
Somebody's still a little toy

44
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:50,849
- about losing last year's color war.
- Not.

45
00:01:50,867 --> 00:01:52,368
- She was on team blue...
- Mm-hmm.

46
00:01:52,402 --> 00:01:56,155
Or as I like to refer
to them as team blue-zer.

47
00:01:56,453 --> 00:01:58,124
- And I was on white.
- That's good.

48
00:01:58,158 --> 00:01:59,659
- And if you ain't white...
- No.

49
00:01:59,693 --> 00:02:00,910
You ain't right!

50
00:02:00,961 --> 00:02:04,663
Phil! Have you learned nothing?

51
00:02:04,664 --> 00:02:06,714
*

52
00:02:06,863 --> 00:02:08,884
My good man.

53
00:02:18,712 --> 00:02:21,397
Okay, come on, everybody.
Front door! Now!

54
00:02:21,431 --> 00:02:24,350
Claire, relax. It takes
15 minutes to get there.

55
00:02:24,384 --> 00:02:25,384
It takes 20 minutes.

56
00:02:25,419 --> 00:02:26,352
If we take your route.

57
00:02:26,386 --> 00:02:27,687
Well, my way is the most direct.

58
00:02:27,721 --> 00:02:28,938
Directly into traffic.

59
00:02:28,989 --> 00:02:32,825
Uh, your way is directly into...
The suckiest way.

60
00:02:32,859 --> 00:02:34,076
Want to make this interesting?

61
00:02:34,111 --> 00:02:35,366
Yeah, I don't think that's possible.

62
00:02:35,367 --> 00:02:38,197
We take two cars and see
who gets there first.

63
00:02:38,307 --> 00:02:40,926
Fine. Fine.
Let's do that. It's on.

64
00:02:40,927 --> 00:02:42,296
Yeah! It is on!

65
00:02:42,297 --> 00:02:43,536
I'll take the girls.

66
00:02:43,570 --> 00:02:44,903
Luke, your dad and
I are splitting up.

67
00:02:44,921 --> 00:02:46,789
- Why?
- Another one of their stupid arguments.

68
00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:48,574
Okay. I'll go with dad.

69
00:02:48,608 --> 00:02:49,908
No, no. Buddy. Come with me.

70
00:02:51,097 --> 00:02:53,629
Prepare to be... my shoes.

71
00:02:54,931 --> 00:02:56,915
Come on, Phil!

72
00:02:59,519 --> 00:03:00,497
How do I look?

73
00:03:00,498 --> 00:03:01,721
Like Al Capone.

74
00:03:01,755 --> 00:03:02,309
Thanks!

75
00:03:02,310 --> 00:03:04,757
Happy Birthday, kid.

76
00:03:06,777 --> 00:03:08,455
Whoa! A bb gun?!

77
00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:11,063
Enjoy. That's the best
gift my dad ever gave me.

78
00:03:11,599 --> 00:03:12,465
My keys are nowhere!

79
00:03:12,466 --> 00:03:13,532
We're gonna have
to go in your car.

80
00:03:13,567 --> 00:03:14,633
It's in the shop.

81
00:03:14,668 --> 00:03:16,786
Where was the last place
you put your keys?

82
00:03:16,820 --> 00:03:18,237
Oh, so now it's my fault?

83
00:03:18,271 --> 00:03:20,239
Where was the last place
you put my keys? Mm-hmm.

84
00:03:20,273 --> 00:03:22,625
In your hand when I
bought you the car.

85
00:03:22,659 --> 00:03:26,045
Hey, Jay, on the box,
it says "ages 16 and up."

86
00:03:26,079 --> 00:03:27,913
Is this an appropriate gift for me?

87
00:03:27,948 --> 00:03:29,465
Are you kidding me?
You were born 16.

88
00:03:29,499 --> 00:03:31,300
You know, we wouldn't
be having this problem

89
00:03:31,335 --> 00:03:32,635
if you hadn't lost the spare set.

90
00:03:32,669 --> 00:03:33,590
I didn't lose them.

91
00:03:33,591 --> 00:03:35,454
Somebody came in
here and stole them!

92
00:03:35,472 --> 00:03:37,890
And left the car.

93
00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:40,643
What do you mean, I was born 16?

94
00:03:40,677 --> 00:03:42,628
I'm just saying,
you were never much of a kid.

95
00:03:43,108 --> 00:03:45,064
And that's a good thing,
'cause I never liked kids.

96
00:03:45,098 --> 00:03:46,732
You know, you ought
to try the fridge.

97
00:03:46,767 --> 00:03:48,601
'Cause that's where we
found your cellphone.

98
00:03:48,635 --> 00:03:50,236
It was only one time, Jay.

99
00:03:50,270 --> 00:03:53,105
And you know I always eat
after I talk to my mother.

100
00:03:54,508 --> 00:03:56,992
Happy Birthday, old man.

101
00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,945
Well, I've forgotten a
lot of things in my life.

102
00:03:59,980 --> 00:04:02,198
But what Jay said hit me hard.

103
00:04:02,249 --> 00:04:04,650
I'd forgotten to have a childhood.

104
00:04:04,684 --> 00:04:05,885
Dad, that was a stop sign.

105
00:04:05,919 --> 00:04:07,336
I'll stop twice on the way back.

106
00:04:07,371 --> 00:04:09,188
Oh, good, it'll give us
a chance to pick up

107
00:04:09,222 --> 00:04:12,625
that hubcap you lost cutting
through the temple parking lot.

108
00:04:12,659 --> 00:04:14,460
Yellow... yellow!

109
00:04:15,366 --> 00:04:16,262
Okay.

110
00:04:16,296 --> 00:04:17,355
Are you seeing this?

111
00:04:17,356 --> 00:04:19,715
We are making every light,
and we don't even have to speed.

112
00:04:19,766 --> 00:04:21,100
The system works.

113
00:04:21,291 --> 00:04:22,218
Mom?

114
00:04:22,269 --> 00:04:23,715
I know, I went a
little fast back there,

115
00:04:23,716 --> 00:04:25,805
but, really, 40 is the same as 35.

116
00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:27,273
You say that a lot.

117
00:04:28,777 --> 00:04:30,722
I don't think you two
appreciate what's at stake here.

118
00:04:30,723 --> 00:04:32,695
- Our lives?
- You know I love your mother,

119
00:04:32,729 --> 00:04:34,547
but I think you also know
a certain look she gets

120
00:04:34,581 --> 00:04:36,615
that says, "just listen to me,
I'm always right."

121
00:04:36,650 --> 00:04:37,850
You mean her face?

122
00:04:37,868 --> 00:04:39,068
N... now we're getting this.

123
00:04:39,728 --> 00:04:40,679
If we're right this one time,

124
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,488
then we never have
to be right again.

125
00:04:42,557 --> 00:04:45,190
When she says, "that balloon
can't carry a person, Phil,"

126
00:04:45,208 --> 00:04:46,959
I say, "Manny's birthday."

127
00:04:46,993 --> 00:04:48,935
"Take your jacket, Alex.
I think it's gonna rain."

128
00:04:48,936 --> 00:04:50,002
"Manny's birthday."

129
00:04:50,003 --> 00:04:51,464
Don't look at me.
Look at the road.

130
00:04:51,498 --> 00:04:53,582
- "Manny's birthday."
- No, dad! Look at the road! There's a truck!

131
00:04:53,633 --> 00:04:55,367
Sweet baby!

132
00:04:55,385 --> 00:04:57,336
We are so kicking your dad's butt!

133
00:04:57,370 --> 00:04:58,871
We are the best ones!

134
00:04:58,889 --> 00:05:01,090
How come you and dad
are breaking up?

135
00:05:01,141 --> 00:05:02,224
What?

136
00:05:02,259 --> 00:05:04,172
If it's just a little disagreement,

137
00:05:04,173 --> 00:05:06,178
can't you just work it out?

138
00:05:06,212 --> 00:05:07,532
Oh, sweetie, you thought

139
00:05:07,533 --> 00:05:09,181
that when I said we
were splitting up...

140
00:05:09,216 --> 00:05:11,370
No. No, your dad and
I are fine, honey.

141
00:05:11,371 --> 00:05:12,685
We just were gonna
take separate cars

142
00:05:12,719 --> 00:05:14,737
to see who could get to
the restaurant faster.

143
00:05:14,771 --> 00:05:16,272
Oh, that's a relief.

144
00:05:16,323 --> 00:05:18,908
Ohh, you must have been
feeling awful back there.

145
00:05:18,942 --> 00:05:20,726
I am so sorry.

146
00:05:20,744 --> 00:05:23,061
It's okay.

147
00:05:30,637 --> 00:05:33,672
Why did you say you'd
go with your dad?

148
00:05:34,456 --> 00:05:36,292
Great. Mom gets to be right again.

149
00:05:36,343 --> 00:05:38,395
Hey, bad attitudes lose races.

150
00:05:38,396 --> 00:05:42,677
No, swerving into a curb and
popping your tire loses races.

151
00:05:43,021 --> 00:05:45,184
We should call the cops and
say mom's car was stolen.

152
00:05:45,218 --> 00:05:46,435
They arrest her, we win.

153
00:05:46,470 --> 00:05:47,920
No, they trace those calls.

154
00:05:47,938 --> 00:05:50,856
But this is great.
Thinking like a team!

155
00:05:50,891 --> 00:05:52,758
Good practice for family camp.

156
00:05:54,027 --> 00:05:56,846
We're, uh, we're doing that again?

157
00:05:56,847 --> 00:05:58,197
Oh, yeah!

158
00:05:58,231 --> 00:06:00,933
And this year I predict
total white domination.

159
00:06:05,201 --> 00:06:06,805
Can't go back there.

160
00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:10,659
I heard this summer there's
gonna be a hoedown.

161
00:06:11,006 --> 00:06:11,944
I can't.

162
00:06:11,962 --> 00:06:13,829
Haley!

163
00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:16,131
I can't! I can't.

164
00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:21,245
Eight minutes talking to the
lady at the stationery store

165
00:06:21,246 --> 00:06:22,388
and still no present.

166
00:06:22,422 --> 00:06:24,558
You know, I think a new
friend is like a present.

167
00:06:24,559 --> 00:06:25,805
Yeah, I read that card, too.

168
00:06:25,806 --> 00:06:27,226
Can we please just buy
the next thing we see

169
00:06:27,260 --> 00:06:27,934
and get out of here?

170
00:06:28,311 --> 00:06:29,291
You know, why can't
you enjoy this?

171
00:06:29,292 --> 00:06:31,664
It's a beautiful afternoon,
Lily's with a sitter.

172
00:06:31,665 --> 00:06:32,898
The day is ours!

173
00:06:32,933 --> 00:06:34,867
Helen!

174
00:06:34,901 --> 00:06:37,269
Helen!

175
00:06:37,303 --> 00:06:39,905
Helen!

176
00:06:39,940 --> 00:06:40,990
Helen!!

177
00:06:41,369 --> 00:06:44,410
Oh, look at that. Another friend.
Off we go. Very busy.

178
00:06:44,444 --> 00:06:45,528
No. Stop.

179
00:06:45,579 --> 00:06:47,613
You are too tied to
your rigid schedules.

180
00:06:47,647 --> 00:06:48,406
You're missing life.

181
00:06:48,407 --> 00:06:51,083
It took all of two seconds
to help this nice man.

182
00:06:51,117 --> 00:06:53,869
W... w... wait. Wait. There's more.

183
00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:55,955
Two seconds. Yeah.

184
00:06:55,989 --> 00:06:59,625
Tell her I'm so sorry,
I've always loved her.

185
00:06:59,659 --> 00:07:01,560
He says he's so sorry!

186
00:07:01,595 --> 00:07:04,241
And that he's always loved you!

187
00:07:04,242 --> 00:07:06,532
Please come up and talk to me.

188
00:07:06,566 --> 00:07:08,684
Please come up and talk to him!

189
00:07:08,718 --> 00:07:11,171
His life would be
empty without you!

190
00:07:11,172 --> 00:07:13,522
I'm sorry I'm going off script.
It just felt right.

191
00:07:13,557 --> 00:07:15,307
Oh. Good. Oh.

192
00:07:16,277 --> 00:07:17,651
- T... too late.
- No, you know what?

193
00:07:17,652 --> 00:07:18,852
Give him your cellphone.

194
00:07:18,853 --> 00:07:20,740
I'll chase Helen down
and give her my phone.

195
00:07:20,741 --> 00:07:21,814
They can hash it out.

196
00:07:21,848 --> 00:07:23,115
Are you... are you serious?

197
00:07:23,149 --> 00:07:26,652
Yes, I'm serious as a heart attack.

198
00:07:29,183 --> 00:07:31,134
You always do this.

199
00:07:31,135 --> 00:07:32,503
Now we're gonna be
late to our own party.

200
00:07:32,504 --> 00:07:34,100
Stop shouting.

201
00:07:34,101 --> 00:07:35,673
Well, technically, I wasn't really...

202
00:07:35,707 --> 00:07:39,476
Uh, yes, hello.
Is Seymour Butts there?

203
00:07:39,477 --> 00:07:41,846
I'd never made a prank call...

204
00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:43,062
Never mixed different
sodas together

205
00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:45,315
to see what they'd taste like.

206
00:07:45,333 --> 00:07:46,635
So I knew I had to make the most

207
00:07:46,636 --> 00:07:48,677
of what little childhood I had left.

208
00:07:48,678 --> 00:07:51,505
Not "Lutts." I'm looking for Butts.

209
00:07:51,540 --> 00:07:54,842
Yes, I'm trying to
get ahold of Butts.

210
00:07:54,876 --> 00:07:57,678
Very funny. I don't have
time for this foolishness.

211
00:07:58,868 --> 00:08:01,415
Maybe if you had a system
for where you leave things.

212
00:08:01,416 --> 00:08:02,636
I have a system.

213
00:08:02,637 --> 00:08:05,920
I put down things, then
I remember where I put them.

214
00:08:05,921 --> 00:08:07,214
And that would be preferable

215
00:08:07,215 --> 00:08:10,177
to, say, putting them
on the key holder

216
00:08:10,178 --> 00:08:12,983
which just happens to
look like a large key.

217
00:08:12,984 --> 00:08:15,196
Stop screaming!

218
00:08:19,183 --> 00:08:19,904
What are you doing?

219
00:08:19,905 --> 00:08:21,569
Turning back the clock.

220
00:08:35,035 --> 00:08:36,248
Disgusting!

221
00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:39,171
Don't judge me.
You've never been married.

222
00:08:39,206 --> 00:08:40,673
This never happened.

223
00:08:40,707 --> 00:08:42,425
I don't know what
you're talking about.

224
00:08:42,459 --> 00:08:43,826
That's a good man.

225
00:08:43,844 --> 00:08:47,162
Boy. I'm a boy!

226
00:08:51,658 --> 00:08:54,136
You all right? You okay?

227
00:08:54,171 --> 00:08:56,772
W... why do you ask?

228
00:08:57,582 --> 00:09:00,629
Oh. Okay.
Well, I think this is for you.

229
00:09:00,630 --> 00:09:02,445
I... I don't know what to say to him.

230
00:09:02,446 --> 00:09:04,947
Just open your heart
and listen, Helen.

231
00:09:04,981 --> 00:09:06,382
Okay.

232
00:09:06,416 --> 00:09:07,533
Hello?

233
00:09:11,048 --> 00:09:13,205
I dropped your phone.

234
00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:15,041
Yeah. I was here when it happened.

235
00:09:15,075 --> 00:09:16,868
Okay. It's all right.
We'll just...

236
00:09:16,869 --> 00:09:18,592
I can't. I... I just can't.

237
00:09:18,593 --> 00:09:21,247
Helen, you have to try.
I once almost let my own fears

238
00:09:21,298 --> 00:09:22,998
stop me from embarking
on a relationship,

239
00:09:23,032 --> 00:09:26,075
- and I would have lost the love of my life.
- Ohh.

240
00:09:26,076 --> 00:09:28,203
- Helen!
- Donald!

241
00:09:28,221 --> 00:09:29,254
Cam...

242
00:09:29,255 --> 00:09:31,257
Hang on. Hang on, Helen!

243
00:09:31,258 --> 00:09:33,059
I'll have you down in a jiffy!

244
00:09:33,093 --> 00:09:34,759
Hold on tight! Ow. Nails.

245
00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:36,908
- Helen. Nails. Nails. Nails.
- Helen.

246
00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:40,983
Helen, please just give me a chance.

247
00:09:41,017 --> 00:09:42,468
Give him a chance!!

248
00:09:42,469 --> 00:09:43,912
She's right here.

249
00:09:43,913 --> 00:09:45,438
Cam, come on.
We're running out of time.

250
00:09:45,489 --> 00:09:47,590
We're running out of time?
Sensitive.

251
00:09:47,624 --> 00:09:49,375
Go to him.

252
00:09:49,376 --> 00:09:52,136
Ohh, I... it's nice that you
care so much about us.

253
00:09:52,137 --> 00:09:53,636
Without love we're nothing.

254
00:09:53,637 --> 00:09:55,731
But what about his wife?

255
00:09:57,393 --> 00:09:59,452
It was a pure meeting you both.

256
00:09:59,503 --> 00:10:01,337
Ohh.

257
00:10:03,039 --> 00:10:05,424
I get it, Luke.
You think he's the fun one.

258
00:10:05,459 --> 00:10:07,242
That's why you'd go with him.

259
00:10:07,260 --> 00:10:08,565
What?

260
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,946
You think your dad is
more fun than I am.

261
00:10:10,981 --> 00:10:13,048
- Definitely.
- "Definitely."

262
00:10:13,082 --> 00:10:15,351
- Dad's, like, crazy-fun.
- Mm-hmm.

263
00:10:15,385 --> 00:10:16,023
But you're nice.

264
00:10:16,024 --> 00:10:17,840
I'm nice?!

265
00:10:17,841 --> 00:10:19,087
Well, not now.

266
00:10:20,273 --> 00:10:21,557
Tell him.

267
00:10:21,591 --> 00:10:23,312
- Tell me what?
- Nothing.

268
00:10:23,313 --> 00:10:26,562
Hey, what do we call
daddy's car, girls?

269
00:10:26,596 --> 00:10:27,509
The cone of trust.

270
00:10:27,510 --> 00:10:29,482
The cone of trust. Exactamundo.

271
00:10:29,533 --> 00:10:31,487
Where you can speak your
mind with no judgment.

272
00:10:31,488 --> 00:10:33,519
So, what is it? Boys?

273
00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:35,805
Your bodies are changing? Eggs?

274
00:10:35,839 --> 00:10:37,533
No! No.

275
00:10:37,582 --> 00:10:39,483
We were just thinking
that maybe...

276
00:10:39,517 --> 00:10:42,186
- Mm-hmm...
- lf... if you're open to it...

277
00:10:42,220 --> 00:10:44,438
Dad, we love you,
but we do not want

278
00:10:44,472 --> 00:10:47,291
to go to family camp this year.

279
00:10:49,561 --> 00:10:51,228
Dad? Are you upset?

280
00:10:51,262 --> 00:10:53,530
Nope.

281
00:10:53,565 --> 00:10:54,932
Then what was that sniff?

282
00:10:54,966 --> 00:10:57,401
Sniff? What sniff? I'm... I'm, uh...

283
00:10:57,435 --> 00:10:58,569
I'm actually relieved.

284
00:10:59,513 --> 00:11:00,844
The day that I've been dreading,

285
00:11:00,845 --> 00:11:02,993
uh, the day when you
two finally outgrow me,

286
00:11:02,994 --> 00:11:03,773
has finally arrived,

287
00:11:03,792 --> 00:11:06,710
and I'm handling it really well.

288
00:11:07,148 --> 00:11:08,638
Dad, are you crying?

289
00:11:08,639 --> 00:11:09,413
Nope.

290
00:11:09,447 --> 00:11:11,748
- Are you sure you're okay?
- Yep.

291
00:11:11,782 --> 00:11:13,050
Oh, my God. He is crying.

292
00:11:13,084 --> 00:11:14,651
I've never seen dad cry before.

293
00:11:14,686 --> 00:11:17,020
But, dad, if you cry, then I'll cry!

294
00:11:17,055 --> 00:11:18,505
I'm not crying.

295
00:11:18,556 --> 00:11:21,258
We made our daddy cry!

296
00:11:21,292 --> 00:11:22,593
You called me daddy?

297
00:11:22,627 --> 00:11:24,678
Because you are our daddy!

298
00:11:24,729 --> 00:11:26,597
I'll always be your daddy!

299
00:11:28,850 --> 00:11:29,967
Don't cry, mom.

300
00:11:30,001 --> 00:11:32,936
I am not crying.

301
00:11:32,970 --> 00:11:35,339
Let me fill you in on
a little secret, Luke.

302
00:11:35,373 --> 00:11:37,207
When I met your dad,
I was fun, too.

303
00:11:37,242 --> 00:11:38,842
But I had to give all that up,

304
00:11:38,877 --> 00:11:40,828
because you can't
have two fun parents.

305
00:11:40,862 --> 00:11:42,863
That's a carnival.

306
00:11:42,914 --> 00:11:46,416
You know that kid Liam who
wears pajama pants to school

307
00:11:46,451 --> 00:11:48,752
and pays for things
with a $100 bill?

308
00:11:48,786 --> 00:11:53,023
Two fun parents.
Mark my words. Mm-hmm.

309
00:11:54,292 --> 00:11:57,995
Oh, my God! Ohh!

310
00:11:58,029 --> 00:11:59,530
You're fun, too, mom. Uh-huh.

311
00:11:59,564 --> 00:12:00,997
I just said I'd go with dad

312
00:12:01,015 --> 00:12:04,234
because I think he'd need me more.

313
00:12:12,143 --> 00:12:15,012
How come I do all the looking
and you do all the sitting?

314
00:12:15,046 --> 00:12:16,363
'Cause you do all the losing.

315
00:12:16,397 --> 00:12:17,698
Oh, and you're this close

316
00:12:17,732 --> 00:12:20,384
of doing all the sleeping
in a tent in the backyard!

317
00:12:20,924 --> 00:12:21,902
Did you check your purse?

318
00:12:21,953 --> 00:12:22,900
Yes, of course!

319
00:12:22,901 --> 00:12:24,872
It's a big purse.
You might want to look again.

320
00:12:24,906 --> 00:12:26,123
Okay.

321
00:12:26,157 --> 00:12:27,991
I check. You rest.

322
00:12:32,863 --> 00:12:34,882
No. There's nothing.

323
00:12:34,916 --> 00:12:35,865
You're sure?

324
00:12:35,884 --> 00:12:37,867
Yes. I've looked twice now.

325
00:12:37,886 --> 00:12:39,029
There's nothing. Okay.

326
00:12:39,030 --> 00:12:41,672
Then you better call us a cab!

327
00:12:41,706 --> 00:12:43,840
Manny!

328
00:12:43,875 --> 00:12:45,676
Manny?

329
00:12:45,948 --> 00:12:48,211
What the hell?
Where'd that thing come from?

330
00:12:48,229 --> 00:12:52,544
Christmas. Two years ago.
Never took it out of the box.

331
00:12:52,545 --> 00:12:54,084
"Who would enjoy that?" I thought.

332
00:12:54,118 --> 00:12:56,220
A kid, that's who.

333
00:12:56,254 --> 00:12:57,778
Well, come on.
We've got your party.

334
00:12:57,779 --> 00:13:01,792
What's the point? You were right.
I... I was born 16.

335
00:13:01,826 --> 00:13:03,927
I've lost my childhood.

336
00:13:03,962 --> 00:13:07,247
Why did you want me to look
again in my purse, Jay, huh?

337
00:13:07,282 --> 00:13:09,171
Is it because you put
the keys in there?

338
00:13:09,172 --> 00:13:10,446
No. Why did you find it?

339
00:13:10,447 --> 00:13:12,736
Yes, I found them because
you put the keys in there!

340
00:13:12,770 --> 00:13:14,366
Manny, what the hell
are you doing there?

341
00:13:14,367 --> 00:13:17,040
He wants to cancel his party
because he missed his childhood.

342
00:13:17,074 --> 00:13:19,242
The party that I have
rescheduled three times,

343
00:13:19,260 --> 00:13:20,744
changed the restaurant twice

344
00:13:20,762 --> 00:13:22,879
so that the whole family
could be together?!

345
00:13:22,914 --> 00:13:24,281
Please send my regrets.

346
00:13:24,315 --> 00:13:26,216
Now, if I could have
a little privacy...

347
00:13:26,250 --> 00:13:28,372
Privacy?! Esto es lo
que me faltaba a mí.

348
00:13:28,373 --> 00:13:29,886
Privacy?! ¿En esta casa?

349
00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:31,388
Is that a skateboard down there?

350
00:13:32,114 --> 00:13:34,641
The second thing that slipped
right out from under me today.

351
00:13:34,692 --> 00:13:35,776
Okay, time to get out.

352
00:13:35,810 --> 00:13:36,922
The first was my childhood.

353
00:13:36,923 --> 00:13:37,996
I get it!

354
00:13:37,997 --> 00:13:41,031
I am so sick of stubborn men!

355
00:13:41,065 --> 00:13:42,976
You, you act like a little boy

356
00:13:42,977 --> 00:13:45,118
that doesn't want to
accept that he's wrong.

357
00:13:45,153 --> 00:13:48,155
And you like a sad old man
that doesn't want to be happy!

358
00:13:48,206 --> 00:13:49,706
That's it!

359
00:13:51,075 --> 00:13:53,109
- You could have shot me!
- Come on, Manny.

360
00:13:53,127 --> 00:13:55,329
I could've unbuttoned
your shirt if I wanted to.

361
00:13:55,380 --> 00:13:57,547
Now come here, or sink!

362
00:13:57,582 --> 00:14:00,801
And I'm taking this
with me in the car.

363
00:14:02,897 --> 00:14:03,720
Vámonos.

364
00:14:07,861 --> 00:14:09,074
I know that face, Mitchell.

365
00:14:09,075 --> 00:14:10,124
Okay, a... and we're walking.

366
00:14:10,159 --> 00:14:11,759
It means you were
right and I was wrong

367
00:14:11,794 --> 00:14:12,994
for trying to help two people.

368
00:14:12,995 --> 00:14:14,629
- Adulterers?
- Fair enough.

369
00:14:14,663 --> 00:14:16,464
A... actually, the most
adult adulterers ever.

370
00:14:16,498 --> 00:14:17,999
But my impulse was still right.

371
00:14:18,033 --> 00:14:19,901
- Oh, God. Here we go.
- Life is about being...

372
00:14:19,935 --> 00:14:22,765
Yes. You know what? Here we do go.

373
00:14:22,766 --> 00:14:24,450
It's about being spontaneous.

374
00:14:24,451 --> 00:14:26,307
It's about throwing
yourself into something,

375
00:14:26,341 --> 00:14:29,346
not working long hours
every night at the office.

376
00:14:29,347 --> 00:14:31,212
It's like you're living your l...

377
00:14:32,764 --> 00:14:34,849
What is this? I don't know.

378
00:14:35,216 --> 00:14:37,935
Excuse me, constable,
what... what is going on?

379
00:14:43,942 --> 00:14:46,444
Oh, it's a flash mob!
It's a flash mob!

380
00:14:46,495 --> 00:14:48,529
Ooh! We saw it on YouTube.
Remember?

381
00:14:48,564 --> 00:14:50,865
People get together and
choreograph big dance numbers!

382
00:14:50,899 --> 00:14:52,617
We should go.
T... this is kind of weird.

383
00:14:52,668 --> 00:14:54,598
No, this is joyful, Mitchell.

384
00:14:54,599 --> 00:14:57,839
You, of all people, should...

385
00:15:13,291 --> 00:15:15,948
Cam's right.
I can be a little rigid.

386
00:15:15,949 --> 00:15:19,569
So when Chad from accounting,
who I always thought was gay

387
00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:22,980
but apparently is not,

388
00:15:23,031 --> 00:15:25,032
um, told me about this flash mob,

389
00:15:25,067 --> 00:15:27,401
I thought, "hells yes."

390
00:15:27,435 --> 00:15:29,770
Uh, we've been practicing after
work a couple of nights a week.

391
00:15:29,788 --> 00:15:31,339
And it's... it's been
a big commitment,

392
00:15:31,373 --> 00:15:33,641
but it's totally worth it.

393
00:15:33,675 --> 00:15:37,545
This dance is my love letter to Cam.

394
00:16:06,325 --> 00:16:09,243
Okay, so, this is why I
was rushing you around.

395
00:16:09,278 --> 00:16:12,113
Huh? What do you think of me now?

396
00:16:12,147 --> 00:16:13,247
How could you, Mitchell?

397
00:16:13,282 --> 00:16:15,249
What? Cameron.

398
00:16:15,284 --> 00:16:18,202
- Cameron.
- Not now. Donald!

399
00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:20,922
You do fun stuff.

400
00:16:20,956 --> 00:16:23,591
You put that potato
chip in my sandwich.

401
00:16:23,625 --> 00:16:24,896
That was a crunchy surprise.

402
00:16:24,897 --> 00:16:28,930
Nope, that was your dad.
Everything fun is your dad.

403
00:16:28,964 --> 00:16:31,295
Second Christmas,
Italian-accent night...

404
00:16:31,296 --> 00:16:32,316
This race.

405
00:16:32,317 --> 00:16:36,137
Which we could've won.
Your way is way faster.

406
00:16:36,171 --> 00:16:38,556
It is, isn't it?

407
00:16:38,723 --> 00:16:40,141
Buckle up, Luke.

408
00:16:40,175 --> 00:16:43,244
Today you have two fun parents.

409
00:16:44,512 --> 00:16:45,947
Come on, mom. You can do it.

410
00:16:45,981 --> 00:16:47,148
That's right I can.

411
00:16:47,182 --> 00:16:48,449
Tell me the truth, Jay.

412
00:16:48,483 --> 00:16:50,251
Did you put the key in my bag?

413
00:16:50,285 --> 00:16:51,452
No.

414
00:16:51,486 --> 00:16:53,871
I won't be mad.

415
00:16:55,190 --> 00:16:57,325
In order to prove a point,
I may have...

416
00:16:57,359 --> 00:16:59,994
I knew it! Ow!

417
00:17:00,028 --> 00:17:02,046
Why did I get you
such a big watch?!

418
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:04,081
Why, Jay?! What point
did you have to prove?!

419
00:17:04,132 --> 00:17:05,900
I'm trying to teach
you to be organized.

420
00:17:05,934 --> 00:17:07,385
Your mind is scattered, Gloria.

421
00:17:07,419 --> 00:17:09,236
Your mind is gonna be scattered.

422
00:17:09,271 --> 00:17:10,871
Manny, hand me the gun!

423
00:17:10,906 --> 00:17:12,089
I appreciate the gesture,

424
00:17:12,140 --> 00:17:14,258
and I'm not proud of how
I'm feeling right now,

425
00:17:14,309 --> 00:17:17,027
but the fact is, you cheated on me.

426
00:17:17,028 --> 00:17:18,145
In what way did I cheat on you?

427
00:17:18,180 --> 00:17:20,126
You cheated on me
with choreography,

428
00:17:20,127 --> 00:17:22,066
and that is the worst kind.

429
00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:23,985
Well, it really isn't.

430
00:17:24,019 --> 00:17:26,937
You danced without me, Mitchell!

431
00:17:26,989 --> 00:17:28,380
If I'd known it was
my last summer there,

432
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,180
I'd have gone for the
lead in "Pippin."

433
00:17:32,694 --> 00:17:34,662
Dad, look up ahead.
Coming at us. There's mom!

434
00:17:34,696 --> 00:17:35,896
Beat her!

435
00:17:35,914 --> 00:17:37,470
I don't think he's in the
mood for that right now.

436
00:17:37,471 --> 00:17:39,116
Hold on. No.

437
00:17:39,167 --> 00:17:42,837
If ever a man needed a win,
it's this man.

438
00:17:42,871 --> 00:17:44,005
What do you say, dad?

439
00:17:44,039 --> 00:17:47,124
Okay. This one's for family camp.

440
00:17:47,175 --> 00:17:48,275
Whoo!

441
00:17:48,310 --> 00:17:49,099
Whoo-hoo!

442
00:17:49,100 --> 00:17:51,846
- Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
- Ohhh...

443
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:53,881
- This is so inappropriate!
- I love you!

444
00:17:55,684 --> 00:17:58,552
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

445
00:18:00,395 --> 00:18:01,957
- Mom, look out!
- Ay!

446
00:18:01,958 --> 00:18:03,224
Cam!

447
00:18:08,096 --> 00:18:09,930
Anybody hurt?

448
00:18:09,948 --> 00:18:12,933
I am.

449
00:18:16,692 --> 00:18:18,956
I was almost too
depressed to come today.

450
00:18:18,990 --> 00:18:22,626
I realized I let my
childhood slip away.

451
00:18:22,661 --> 00:18:23,994
Look at Luke there...

452
00:18:24,046 --> 00:18:26,080
Making one big straw out of three.

453
00:18:26,114 --> 00:18:27,614
Never change, Luke.

454
00:18:28,789 --> 00:18:31,218
I really thought it
was too late for me.

455
00:18:31,253 --> 00:18:33,020
But watching all you
acting like children,

456
00:18:33,055 --> 00:18:36,489
it hit me... I've got plenty
of time left to be a kid.

457
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:39,593
Anyway, Happy Birthday to me.

458
00:18:40,512 --> 00:18:41,846
Happy Birthday, Manny.

459
00:18:41,897 --> 00:18:44,014
Happy Birthday, Manny.

460
00:18:44,066 --> 00:18:46,467
I have been a child.

461
00:18:46,485 --> 00:18:48,102
I'm sorry I hid the keys.

462
00:18:48,136 --> 00:18:51,505
I'm sorry I shoot the island. Mmm.

463
00:18:51,540 --> 00:18:52,773
We're totally racing home.

464
00:18:52,808 --> 00:18:54,442
I'm way ahead of you.

465
00:18:54,476 --> 00:18:57,361
As usual.

466
00:19:02,048 --> 00:19:03,884
They say it's going
to be a rainy weekend.

467
00:19:03,919 --> 00:19:05,152
They don't know.

468
00:19:05,170 --> 00:19:08,089
I do. My knee's been
singing all morning.

469
00:19:09,824 --> 00:19:12,009
Unbelievable.

470
00:19:22,445 --> 00:19:24,009
Mother of g...

471
00:19:24,010 --> 00:19:25,906
put them down and walk away.

472
00:19:25,941 --> 00:19:28,008
You know, Gloria...

473
00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:31,708
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