1
00:00:05,209 --> 00:00:08,117
How can we don't have the same
number of containers and lids?
2
00:00:08,118 --> 00:00:09,919
Why would they ever get separated?
3
00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:12,321
Built-up resentment, money issues,
4
00:00:12,322 --> 00:00:14,223
met a younger lid.
5
00:00:14,224 --> 00:00:15,491
- Huh?
- Mm-hmm.
6
00:00:15,492 --> 00:00:17,326
Mom, where's my science homework?
7
00:00:17,327 --> 00:00:19,128
Uh, it's over there on the table.
8
00:00:19,129 --> 00:00:21,130
So, Alex, honey, what's going on?
9
00:00:21,131 --> 00:00:22,381
Anything exciting?
10
00:00:22,382 --> 00:00:23,216
No.
11
00:00:23,217 --> 00:00:25,334
- Any boys?
- No.
12
00:00:25,335 --> 00:00:27,570
I'm feeling a little bit disconnected
13
00:00:27,571 --> 00:00:28,804
from Alex right now.
14
00:00:28,805 --> 00:00:30,639
Last week, I picked up her cellphone
15
00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:31,974
thinking it was mine,
16
00:00:31,975 --> 00:00:34,143
and I accidentally read
a few flirty text messages
17
00:00:34,144 --> 00:00:36,295
that were probably
from a boy in her class,
18
00:00:36,296 --> 00:00:37,413
which is fine.
19
00:00:37,414 --> 00:00:39,581
Or they're from a drifter.
20
00:00:39,582 --> 00:00:41,067
Come on, isn't there something
21
00:00:41,068 --> 00:00:42,852
you want to share with your mommers?
22
00:00:42,853 --> 00:00:45,438
Yeah. Don't call yourself "mommers."
23
00:00:48,141 --> 00:00:52,828
He blew his lid when
she tried to contain him.
24
00:00:56,466 --> 00:01:02,466
... Sync by Rafael UPD, corrected by gloriabg...
www.addic7ed.com/
25
00:01:12,382 --> 00:01:14,250
Okay. What do you think?
26
00:01:14,251 --> 00:01:16,018
- I like it.
- But you don't love it.
27
00:01:16,019 --> 00:01:17,319
No, I do. I love it.
28
00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:19,388
- As much as you loved the other one?
- Ooh.
29
00:01:22,559 --> 00:01:23,826
- Okay.
- Mm.
30
00:01:23,827 --> 00:01:26,862
The house is on fire. I only
have time to grab one shirt.
31
00:01:26,863 --> 00:01:28,230
Which one do I take?
32
00:01:28,231 --> 00:01:30,065
The correct answer is take Lily.
33
00:01:30,066 --> 00:01:31,233
After that.
34
00:01:31,234 --> 00:01:32,501
Uh, okay, the blue one.
35
00:01:32,502 --> 00:01:34,236
Because the gray one washes me out.
36
00:01:34,237 --> 00:01:35,571
No, no. Cam, you...
You can't go wrong here.
37
00:01:35,572 --> 00:01:37,122
Everything you've tried on looks great.
38
00:01:37,123 --> 00:01:38,424
I love you in both of them.
39
00:01:38,425 --> 00:01:40,242
Oh, you're so nice to me.
40
00:01:44,414 --> 00:01:49,118
Mitchell has a problem with
public displays of affection.
41
00:01:49,119 --> 00:01:50,936
Um, I remember once
at a New Year's Eve party,
42
00:01:50,937 --> 00:01:54,123
stroke of midnight, he high-fived me.
43
00:01:54,124 --> 00:01:55,774
Two problems with that...
44
00:01:55,775 --> 00:01:58,060
One, gays don't high-five.
45
00:01:58,061 --> 00:02:01,230
Two, gays don't high-five.
46
00:02:01,231 --> 00:02:03,232
I'm home!
47
00:02:03,233 --> 00:02:05,868
Mmm, what smells so good?
48
00:02:05,869 --> 00:02:08,337
I'm making chunchullo,
a traditional Colombian dish,
49
00:02:08,338 --> 00:02:10,155
for dinner with the family tonight.
50
00:02:10,156 --> 00:02:11,540
Chunchullo.
51
00:02:11,541 --> 00:02:13,309
What is that... Like, uh, tacos?
52
00:02:13,310 --> 00:02:15,110
Yes, like tacos.
53
00:02:15,111 --> 00:02:16,312
No, it isn't.
54
00:02:16,313 --> 00:02:18,314
- It's the small intestine of a pig.
- Oh, geez.
55
00:02:18,315 --> 00:02:21,283
Why can't we eat regular food
like normal people?
56
00:02:21,284 --> 00:02:22,351
I told you, Jay.
57
00:02:22,352 --> 00:02:24,620
My grandmother, who rests in peace,
58
00:02:24,621 --> 00:02:26,889
has been coming to me in my dreams,
59
00:02:26,890 --> 00:02:29,475
telling me that
I'm losing touch with my roots.
60
00:02:29,476 --> 00:02:30,893
See, this is awkward,
61
00:02:30,894 --> 00:02:33,395
because my dead uncle Joe
told me to have steak tonight.
62
00:02:33,396 --> 00:02:35,964
No, no, no, Jay.
Have some respect.
63
00:02:35,965 --> 00:02:38,133
My grandmother can hear you.
64
00:02:38,134 --> 00:02:40,603
What do you mean, she can hear us?
65
00:02:40,604 --> 00:02:41,687
Well, in our culture,
66
00:02:41,688 --> 00:02:43,572
we believe that the dead
are all around us.
67
00:02:43,573 --> 00:02:44,490
She's right, Manny.
68
00:02:44,491 --> 00:02:45,991
She could be right here,
69
00:02:45,992 --> 00:02:48,777
her bony fingers reaching out
from the grave.
70
00:02:50,313 --> 00:02:51,480
Yeah, keep it up, Jay.
71
00:02:51,481 --> 00:02:53,315
There's already
one dead person in this room.
72
00:02:53,316 --> 00:02:55,034
You want to make it two?
73
00:02:55,035 --> 00:02:56,652
I'm sorry. I've got a printer to install.
74
00:02:56,653 --> 00:02:58,337
Oh, Gloria, have your grandmother
75
00:02:58,338 --> 00:03:00,489
run me up an iced tea in about 10 minutes.
76
00:03:00,490 --> 00:03:02,958
Yeah, she has a better chance
of making that work than you!
77
00:03:02,959 --> 00:03:05,210
Why don't you save us
the stomping and the swearing
78
00:03:05,211 --> 00:03:06,345
and call Phil?
79
00:03:06,346 --> 00:03:07,429
He's good at that stuff.
80
00:03:07,430 --> 00:03:08,497
Better than me?
81
00:03:08,498 --> 00:03:10,516
Phil's not better than me at anything,
82
00:03:10,517 --> 00:03:13,452
except maybe making that
stupid sound with his mouth.
83
00:03:18,925 --> 00:03:20,809
♪ A what, what ♪
84
00:03:20,810 --> 00:03:22,611
you spit on me.
85
00:03:22,612 --> 00:03:26,098
Haley, honey, um, I need you
to do something for me.
86
00:03:26,099 --> 00:03:28,099
Ugh. Mom, my arm hurts.
87
00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:29,501
Why don't you find out what it is
88
00:03:29,502 --> 00:03:31,437
before you start making up
excuses to get out of it?
89
00:03:31,438 --> 00:03:33,172
Okay, what is it?
90
00:03:33,173 --> 00:03:34,840
I need you to talk to your sister.
91
00:03:34,841 --> 00:03:38,043
I think that there's something
going on with her and a boy.
92
00:03:38,044 --> 00:03:39,511
So?
93
00:03:39,512 --> 00:03:41,647
So, I am your mother,
and it is my job to make sure
94
00:03:41,648 --> 00:03:43,882
that you girls don't
get involved with a predator.
95
00:03:43,883 --> 00:03:45,684
Okay, mom, stop watching "dateline."
96
00:03:45,685 --> 00:03:47,402
And why can't you just talk to her?
97
00:03:47,403 --> 00:03:49,388
I have tried to talk to her.
98
00:03:49,389 --> 00:03:51,990
I... she won't talk to me.
You know that.
99
00:03:51,991 --> 00:03:54,827
That's because you get so weird
every time a boy comes near us.
100
00:03:54,828 --> 00:03:56,795
I... I just don't want you girls to...
101
00:03:56,796 --> 00:03:59,131
- To make the same mistakes that you did?
- No!
102
00:03:59,999 --> 00:04:01,166
No.
103
00:04:01,167 --> 00:04:02,551
Mom, I'm not an idiot.
104
00:04:02,552 --> 00:04:03,836
I pick up on things.
105
00:04:03,837 --> 00:04:05,670
And I don't think
that you were the good girl
106
00:04:05,671 --> 00:04:06,772
you pretend you were.
107
00:04:06,773 --> 00:04:08,991
Wow. That is so untrue.
108
00:04:08,992 --> 00:04:11,243
- I was a very good girl.
- Mm.
109
00:04:11,244 --> 00:04:14,279
Your kids don't need to know
who you were before you had them.
110
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,064
They need to know who you wish you were,
111
00:04:16,065 --> 00:04:18,650
and they need to try
to live up to that person.
112
00:04:18,651 --> 00:04:19,951
They're gonna fall short,
113
00:04:19,952 --> 00:04:22,153
but better they fall short of the fake you
114
00:04:22,154 --> 00:04:23,355
than the real you.
115
00:04:23,356 --> 00:04:24,856
Which is why we don't hide anything.
116
00:04:24,857 --> 00:04:26,491
That's the opposite of what I just said.
117
00:04:26,492 --> 00:04:29,261
I was not listening.
118
00:04:30,446 --> 00:04:31,580
Ohh.
119
00:04:31,581 --> 00:04:33,582
I'll say it again... I love you in paisley.
120
00:04:33,583 --> 00:04:35,366
Oh, let me lock the door
and draw the curtains.
121
00:04:35,367 --> 00:04:36,701
What does that mean?
122
00:04:36,702 --> 00:04:38,837
- It doesn't mean anything.
- Good.
123
00:04:38,838 --> 00:04:40,071
You know exactly what it means.
124
00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:41,640
You won't kiss me in front of other people
125
00:04:41,641 --> 00:04:43,108
because you're ashamed of who you are.
126
00:04:43,109 --> 00:04:45,343
And, yes... I went there.
127
00:04:45,344 --> 00:04:47,078
Okay, you can't say, "yes, I went there,"
128
00:04:47,079 --> 00:04:48,530
when you go there all the time.
129
00:04:48,531 --> 00:04:51,116
And, by the way, I'm the one
who makes speeches on airplanes
130
00:04:51,117 --> 00:04:52,784
every time someone looks at us weird.
131
00:04:52,785 --> 00:04:54,452
I'm the one who gives my dad hell
132
00:04:54,453 --> 00:04:56,371
when he refers to you as my "friend."
133
00:04:56,372 --> 00:04:58,356
That's different. That's confrontation.
134
00:04:58,357 --> 00:04:59,808
But you know what takes real strength?
135
00:04:59,809 --> 00:05:00,959
Whining?
136
00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:02,928
- Affection.
- Oh, this is insane.
137
00:05:02,929 --> 00:05:05,063
Buying a shirt...
It's not a kiss-worthy moment.
138
00:05:05,064 --> 00:05:06,815
Oh, I didn't know
there was an official list.
139
00:05:06,816 --> 00:05:08,300
Please, tell us... What is on the list?
140
00:05:08,301 --> 00:05:09,901
I'll tell you what's not on the list...
141
00:05:09,902 --> 00:05:11,736
finding jalapeño-stuffed olives,
142
00:05:11,737 --> 00:05:13,121
making the light on maple,
143
00:05:13,122 --> 00:05:14,539
every time we see a V.W.
144
00:05:14,540 --> 00:05:15,941
You don't like "kiss-buggy"?
145
00:05:15,942 --> 00:05:17,209
It's not a real game!
146
00:05:17,210 --> 00:05:19,344
It... It's just another way
for you to be needy.
147
00:05:19,345 --> 00:05:21,546
I... And I don't appreciate
you making me feel bad
148
00:05:21,547 --> 00:05:23,849
because I can't live up
to your impossible standards.
149
00:05:23,850 --> 00:05:25,517
Nobody kisses at a bowling alley!
150
00:05:25,518 --> 00:05:27,936
I almost got a turkey!
151
00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:40,549
"Yello"?
152
00:05:40,550 --> 00:05:42,601
Oh, hey, Jay. Just a sec.
I'll go get Claire.
153
00:05:42,602 --> 00:05:43,768
Oh, actually, it's you I'm calling.
154
00:05:44,704 --> 00:05:45,854
What was that?
155
00:05:45,855 --> 00:05:48,006
The cat. There's a cat. What's up?
156
00:05:48,007 --> 00:05:49,807
Well, Gloria's been missing
her grandmother.
157
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:52,143
I've been trying to get
this old picture of her printed,
158
00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:53,811
but I can't get this new printer to...
159
00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:55,080
I'll be right there.
160
00:05:55,081 --> 00:05:56,948
Luke, grandpa needs us!
161
00:05:56,949 --> 00:05:58,850
Hells yes, I was glad to get the call.
162
00:05:58,851 --> 00:06:00,752
Jay's always around here fixing things,
163
00:06:00,753 --> 00:06:02,721
cracking jokes about my "delicate hands"
164
00:06:02,722 --> 00:06:06,091
or my gag response to the smell of paint.
165
00:06:06,092 --> 00:06:07,659
Look who needs me now...
166
00:06:07,660 --> 00:06:10,528
Mr. Hot-dog fingers who can't press "print"
167
00:06:10,529 --> 00:06:13,164
without hitting three extra keys.
168
00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:14,499
Yeah!
169
00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:17,836
You're in my house now, Jay!
170
00:06:17,837 --> 00:06:20,238
T... Technically, we'll be in his house,
171
00:06:20,239 --> 00:06:21,873
but we'll be in my area...
172
00:06:21,874 --> 00:06:23,258
Of his house.
173
00:06:25,354 --> 00:06:27,205
So, I hear you have a boyfriend.
174
00:06:27,206 --> 00:06:28,672
- No, I don't.
- Who is he?
175
00:06:28,673 --> 00:06:30,692
- I'm not talking to you about this.
- Oh, come on.
176
00:06:30,693 --> 00:06:33,111
You're finally interesting. Just tell me.
177
00:06:33,112 --> 00:06:34,445
He's not my boyfriend.
178
00:06:34,446 --> 00:06:35,663
It's Jeremy Reed.
179
00:06:35,664 --> 00:06:38,249
It's... he's just this boy that I...
180
00:06:38,250 --> 00:06:39,667
- Love?
- No!
181
00:06:39,668 --> 00:06:40,852
Well, have you guys kissed yet?
182
00:06:40,853 --> 00:06:41,803
No!
183
00:06:41,804 --> 00:06:43,805
Well, what are you waiting for?
184
00:06:43,806 --> 00:06:45,456
I'm not waiting. I'm 13.
185
00:06:45,457 --> 00:06:47,291
And you've never kissed a boy?
186
00:06:47,292 --> 00:06:48,393
How old were you?
187
00:06:48,394 --> 00:06:49,327
Like 11.
188
00:06:49,328 --> 00:06:51,262
And it was beautiful.
189
00:06:51,263 --> 00:06:54,699
I was in Jackson Kaner's carpeted garage.
190
00:06:54,700 --> 00:06:56,401
- 11?
- Yeah.
191
00:06:56,402 --> 00:06:57,502
So you better get on it,
192
00:06:57,503 --> 00:06:58,953
or else he's gonna think you're a lesbian.
193
00:06:58,954 --> 00:07:00,505
He's not going to think I'm a lesbian.
194
00:07:00,506 --> 00:07:02,006
I thought you were.
195
00:07:02,007 --> 00:07:04,709
You totally have the sandals for it.
196
00:07:04,710 --> 00:07:07,612
Let's see this bad boy.
197
00:07:07,613 --> 00:07:10,515
Oh, a P-750. Nice unit.
198
00:07:10,516 --> 00:07:12,116
I would have sprung for the 840,
199
00:07:12,117 --> 00:07:13,317
but I get it...
200
00:07:13,318 --> 00:07:15,119
Not everyone can handle
that kind of horsepower.
201
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:17,154
I thought maybe the cordless
phone was interfering,
202
00:07:17,155 --> 00:07:18,289
so I unplugged it.
203
00:07:18,290 --> 00:07:20,007
Good idea. Maybe we should run downstairs
204
00:07:20,008 --> 00:07:21,759
and unplug the toaster while we're at it.
205
00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:24,161
Oh, snap, dad.
206
00:07:24,162 --> 00:07:25,096
Toaster.
207
00:07:25,097 --> 00:07:26,297
We're kidding.
208
00:07:26,298 --> 00:07:28,633
A cordless phone is 5.8 gigahertz.
This is Wi-Fi.
209
00:07:28,634 --> 00:07:30,601
It's a totally different spectrum.
210
00:07:30,602 --> 00:07:32,470
Walk with me?
211
00:07:32,471 --> 00:07:36,140
Here's a little trick that I've found
pretty useful with Claire.
212
00:07:37,609 --> 00:07:41,412
♪ The computer and the printer
must talk, talk, talk ♪
213
00:07:41,413 --> 00:07:45,816
♪ "command-P" makes the picture
walk, walk, walk ♪
214
00:07:47,953 --> 00:07:50,021
How come it's not working?
215
00:07:50,022 --> 00:07:51,038
It should be.
216
00:07:51,039 --> 00:07:51,989
Okay.
217
00:07:51,990 --> 00:07:54,542
Uh, that should be printing.
218
00:07:54,543 --> 00:07:55,660
So...
219
00:07:55,661 --> 00:07:58,212
Hey, Phil, I'm gonna get a beer, beer, beer
220
00:07:58,213 --> 00:08:00,464
before I hit you in the head, head, head.
221
00:08:07,422 --> 00:08:09,423
Hey. What are you doing here?
222
00:08:09,424 --> 00:08:11,592
Hi, Jeremy. I want to ask you something.
223
00:08:11,593 --> 00:08:14,495
- Sure, ask...
- Wait, don't talk yet.
224
00:08:14,496 --> 00:08:16,831
We've texting for a while,
and it's been nice,
225
00:08:16,832 --> 00:08:19,166
but I feel like it's leading
to something else,
226
00:08:19,167 --> 00:08:20,968
and I don't know if you do or not,
227
00:08:20,969 --> 00:08:22,937
but I guess what I'm trying to say is,
228
00:08:22,938 --> 00:08:25,857
I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy
229
00:08:25,858 --> 00:08:27,909
asking for him to like her.
230
00:08:27,910 --> 00:08:30,278
Oh, God, that's from "Notting hill."
231
00:08:30,279 --> 00:08:32,846
So dorky. But a really underrated movie.
232
00:08:32,847 --> 00:08:34,315
What's happening?
233
00:08:34,316 --> 00:08:35,516
I'm not a lesbian.
234
00:08:35,517 --> 00:08:37,652
I would like for you to kiss me.
235
00:08:54,471 --> 00:08:56,522
Oh, I love watching you stir.
236
00:08:56,523 --> 00:08:57,773
Then I will stop.
237
00:08:57,774 --> 00:08:59,992
What? Are you still mad at me?
238
00:08:59,993 --> 00:09:03,128
Yes. You have to apologize
for making fun of my culture,
239
00:09:03,129 --> 00:09:05,848
my beliefs, my chunchullo, my abuela.
240
00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:07,032
I'm sorry.
241
00:09:07,033 --> 00:09:09,435
If you think your grandmother's
here with us,
242
00:09:09,436 --> 00:09:10,469
I respect that.
243
00:09:10,470 --> 00:09:11,970
Now, come here.
244
00:09:11,971 --> 00:09:13,906
Oh, grandma! Where'd you come from?
245
00:09:13,907 --> 00:09:16,608
We're gonna have to get you a little bell.
246
00:09:17,744 --> 00:09:18,710
Enough, Jay!
247
00:09:18,711 --> 00:09:20,946
My culture is very important to me!
248
00:09:20,947 --> 00:09:22,848
I've been working all day to share it
249
00:09:22,849 --> 00:09:25,350
with your family tonight,
and all you do is mock me!
250
00:09:25,351 --> 00:09:26,435
Just go!
251
00:09:26,436 --> 00:09:27,752
Honey, I'm sorry.
252
00:09:27,753 --> 00:09:29,221
I'm just teasing you.
253
00:09:29,222 --> 00:09:31,690
Instead of being the comedian,
why don't you help me?
254
00:09:31,691 --> 00:09:33,058
What do you need?
255
00:09:34,861 --> 00:09:36,161
Slap the chicken.
256
00:09:36,162 --> 00:09:37,830
Do what?
257
00:09:37,831 --> 00:09:40,532
In Colombia, when you cook
in honor of the departed,
258
00:09:40,533 --> 00:09:43,502
you have to scare death away from the food
259
00:09:43,503 --> 00:09:45,504
to protect the people
that are gonna eat it.
260
00:09:45,505 --> 00:09:47,339
Slap it and yell.
261
00:09:47,340 --> 00:09:48,891
That's the nuttiest...
262
00:09:48,892 --> 00:09:50,342
- Jay!
- Calm down.
263
00:09:50,343 --> 00:09:52,227
Give me the chicken.
264
00:09:52,228 --> 00:09:53,312
Here we go.
265
00:09:53,313 --> 00:09:55,898
Mm-hmm.
266
00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:58,500
That's not scaring anything away.
267
00:09:58,501 --> 00:10:00,169
When my grandfather used to cook,
268
00:10:00,170 --> 00:10:03,655
the whole house would shake.
269
00:10:03,656 --> 00:10:05,674
Aah! Aah! Aah!
270
00:10:05,675 --> 00:10:07,626
- Louder.
- Aah!
271
00:10:08,828 --> 00:10:09,761
Higher.
272
00:10:11,464 --> 00:10:13,131
Louder!
273
00:10:13,132 --> 00:10:16,251
Higher! Louder! There!
274
00:10:16,252 --> 00:10:17,402
I made all that up.
275
00:10:17,403 --> 00:10:19,638
That is not a real custom in Colombia.
276
00:10:19,639 --> 00:10:21,039
We're not lunatics.
277
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,775
But you mess with us,
and we mess with you.
278
00:10:23,776 --> 00:10:25,928
That's the custom.
279
00:10:28,314 --> 00:10:30,282
Louder!
280
00:10:32,885 --> 00:10:34,219
Hey, honey. Where'd you go?
281
00:10:34,220 --> 00:10:35,754
Nowhere. Just for a bike ride.
282
00:10:35,755 --> 00:10:38,106
Oh, my God! Puh-lease tell me
this text is wrong!
283
00:10:38,107 --> 00:10:40,342
Did you really just
go over to that kid's house
284
00:10:40,343 --> 00:10:42,694
and try and kiss him
in front of a million people?!
285
00:10:42,695 --> 00:10:44,663
- Alex, did you do that?
- You got a text?
286
00:10:44,664 --> 00:10:46,414
Oh, yeah. Everybody knows.
287
00:10:46,415 --> 00:10:48,983
Do you know how embarrassing
this is for me?!
288
00:10:48,984 --> 00:10:50,051
This is all your fault!
289
00:10:50,052 --> 00:10:51,886
You're the one who said I had to kiss him
290
00:10:51,887 --> 00:10:53,054
or I was a lesbian!
291
00:10:53,055 --> 00:10:54,956
Haley! Did you say that to her?!
292
00:10:54,957 --> 00:10:56,725
Oh, don't turn this on me.
Look at her shoes!
293
00:10:56,726 --> 00:10:58,476
Ugh! I'm never going back to school now.
294
00:10:58,477 --> 00:11:00,762
No, sweetheart. Yes, you are.
You are going back to school.
295
00:11:00,763 --> 00:11:01,896
But listen to me...
296
00:11:01,897 --> 00:11:03,631
Just because a boy sends you flirty texts
297
00:11:03,632 --> 00:11:05,684
- doesn't mean that you have to text him back.
- What?! You read my texts?!
298
00:11:05,685 --> 00:11:07,652
- I...
- You read her texts?!
299
00:11:07,653 --> 00:11:09,937
That's why you made me talk to her?!
300
00:11:09,938 --> 00:11:11,439
You made her talk to me?!
301
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,042
I kind of feel like we're
spinning out here a little bit.
302
00:11:14,043 --> 00:11:16,044
Look, Alex, the important thing here
303
00:11:16,045 --> 00:11:18,480
is that you have to be very careful
how you behave around boys
304
00:11:18,481 --> 00:11:21,383
because it is so easy to get a reputation.
305
00:11:21,384 --> 00:11:23,985
Well, I'm sorry I'm not a perfect
little good girl like you were!
306
00:11:25,821 --> 00:11:27,989
- Were you?
- Ohh.
307
00:11:27,990 --> 00:11:30,158
Were you?!
308
00:11:30,159 --> 00:11:32,660
I highly doubt it!
309
00:11:32,661 --> 00:11:36,464
Don't be such a chicken.
There's no ghost in here.
310
00:11:36,465 --> 00:11:38,199
I'm telling you, my mom said
311
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:40,402
her dead grandmother was in the house.
312
00:11:40,403 --> 00:11:42,604
She said she felt her here this morning...
313
00:11:42,605 --> 00:11:43,772
In this room.
314
00:11:43,773 --> 00:11:45,840
Maybe your mom's mentally ill.
315
00:11:52,665 --> 00:11:55,083
Who puts a router...
316
00:11:55,084 --> 00:11:57,052
In the attic?
317
00:11:58,921 --> 00:12:01,923
Did she have a limp and a cane?
318
00:12:01,924 --> 00:12:03,024
Uh-huh.
319
00:12:11,367 --> 00:12:14,402
Ghost of Manny's great-grandma,
320
00:12:14,403 --> 00:12:17,305
if that's really you,
321
00:12:17,306 --> 00:12:19,340
show yourself!
322
00:12:24,597 --> 00:12:25,930
That's her!
323
00:12:25,931 --> 00:12:26,931
Aah!
324
00:12:32,238 --> 00:12:35,156
Come on!
325
00:12:35,157 --> 00:12:37,225
Why?!
326
00:12:37,226 --> 00:12:39,027
Why?!!
327
00:12:43,215 --> 00:12:45,266
- Hi, grandpa.
- How we doing, girls?
328
00:12:45,267 --> 00:12:46,768
Mom ruined my life today.
329
00:12:46,769 --> 00:12:48,820
- I didn't ruin your life. I was...
- Don't even talk to me!
330
00:12:48,821 --> 00:12:50,154
I didn't even want to come here.
331
00:12:50,155 --> 00:12:52,106
Well, okay.
332
00:12:52,107 --> 00:12:54,158
Snacks and and sodas
are in the living room,
333
00:12:54,159 --> 00:12:56,327
but don't fill up...
We've got intestines coming.
334
00:12:56,328 --> 00:12:58,696
Uh, dad, if you're looking for your shoes,
335
00:12:58,697 --> 00:13:00,531
I think I know where they are.
336
00:13:00,532 --> 00:13:02,500
This happens to be a Colombian custom...
337
00:13:02,501 --> 00:13:05,269
walking in the footsteps of
the ancestors, blah, blah, blah.
338
00:13:05,270 --> 00:13:06,570
Beats slapping the chicken.
339
00:13:09,775 --> 00:13:11,342
Here, I brought you a drink.
340
00:13:11,343 --> 00:13:12,409
Oh, wait a minute...
341
00:13:12,410 --> 00:13:14,445
sip it first.
342
00:13:14,446 --> 00:13:16,964
I'm not mad at you.
343
00:13:16,965 --> 00:13:18,983
I thought about it, and maybe you're right.
344
00:13:18,984 --> 00:13:20,601
I can be a little needy sometimes.
345
00:13:20,602 --> 00:13:22,587
Oh, well, I... I appreciate that.
346
00:13:22,588 --> 00:13:25,056
And you're probably not entirely off base.
347
00:13:25,057 --> 00:13:27,859
I mean, lord knows
I... I've got my quirks.
348
00:13:27,860 --> 00:13:30,528
And I... I'm not the most
demonstrative guy around,
349
00:13:30,529 --> 00:13:33,931
but I'm... I'm woing on it.
350
00:13:33,932 --> 00:13:35,700
- And I'm gonna help you with it.
- Good.
351
00:13:35,701 --> 00:13:37,768
Just don't give up on me.
352
00:13:37,769 --> 00:13:38,769
Never.
353
00:13:39,771 --> 00:13:41,489
Okay, everybody, let's gather around!
354
00:13:41,490 --> 00:13:42,940
Jay, come here.
355
00:13:42,941 --> 00:13:46,777
Tonight we dine on the
traditional Colombian recipes
356
00:13:46,778 --> 00:13:49,146
of my abuela, my grandmother.
357
00:13:49,147 --> 00:13:51,749
And even though she's no longer with me,
358
00:13:51,750 --> 00:13:54,552
I am very happy because I have all of you.
359
00:13:54,553 --> 00:13:58,956
To Ana-María Rosa de la
Immaculada Jimenez Morales.
360
00:13:58,957 --> 00:14:01,976
To Ana-María Rosa...
361
00:14:03,562 --> 00:14:06,630
That was beautiful, Gloria,
just like my Mitchell.
362
00:14:06,631 --> 00:14:07,565
Oh, oh! Whoa!
363
00:14:07,566 --> 00:14:08,465
Aah!
364
00:14:08,466 --> 00:14:09,400
Oh!
365
00:14:09,401 --> 00:14:12,837
Just slipped right off there.
366
00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:16,489
Ay, Cameron, what happened?
367
00:14:16,490 --> 00:14:19,025
One moment you were there,
the next, only shoes.
368
00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:20,460
I'll tell you what happened...
369
00:14:20,461 --> 00:14:22,378
Mitchell is embarrassed to kiss
me in front of other people.
370
00:14:22,379 --> 00:14:23,729
No, you ambushed me!
371
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:25,331
Oh, Cam, come on.
Don't take it personally.
372
00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:26,616
When Mitchell was in High School,
373
00:14:26,617 --> 00:14:28,168
he was dating this girl... Robin Schiller.
374
00:14:28,169 --> 00:14:29,385
He would never kiss her, either.
375
00:14:29,386 --> 00:14:32,472
That's because I was gay.
376
00:14:32,473 --> 00:14:34,173
What's your excuse now?
377
00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:36,693
Ay, Cameron, it's not Mitch's fault.
378
00:14:36,694 --> 00:14:38,411
He gets it from his father.
379
00:14:38,412 --> 00:14:41,748
Jay doesn't like the lovey-dovey
in public, either.
380
00:14:41,749 --> 00:14:43,850
I can't believe
you're coming at me right now.
381
00:14:43,851 --> 00:14:45,852
I'm standing here with shoes
around my neck,
382
00:14:45,853 --> 00:14:47,720
and for the better part of a half-hour,
383
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:49,522
I screamed the death out of your meat.
384
00:14:49,523 --> 00:14:51,825
- Now, what do you want from me?
- Don't you see?
385
00:14:51,826 --> 00:14:55,762
It's because of you that your
son cannot kiss his own lover.
386
00:14:55,763 --> 00:14:58,631
- Don't say "lover."
- We don't like "lover."
387
00:14:58,632 --> 00:15:00,700
Can we just eat?
388
00:15:00,701 --> 00:15:04,937
No. Tell Mitch that it's okay
to kiss Cam in front of you.
389
00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:06,873
Why is that something we have to do?
390
00:15:06,874 --> 00:15:08,875
- We don't.
- Of course we don't.
391
00:15:08,876 --> 00:15:11,027
Oh, I'm sorry that I don't
want to make out with you
392
00:15:11,028 --> 00:15:12,311
in front of my whole family.
393
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:13,846
No need to apologize.
394
00:15:13,847 --> 00:15:15,348
Oh, Gloria is right.
395
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:17,400
Dad, you being so emotionally closed off
396
00:15:17,401 --> 00:15:20,386
makes it very difficult for
your children to show affection.
397
00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:22,622
- Really?
- Yes.
398
00:15:22,623 --> 00:15:24,690
You had trouble showing
affection in public places?
399
00:15:24,691 --> 00:15:25,658
Yes!
400
00:15:25,659 --> 00:15:27,193
- You?
- Yes.
401
00:15:27,194 --> 00:15:28,427
Was that before or after
402
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,263
you were delivered to my door
in a squad car,
403
00:15:30,264 --> 00:15:32,064
wearing nothing but your
underwear and a police blanket?
404
00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:34,767
- Oh, my God. What?
- You were arrested?
405
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:36,602
- Awesome!
- Not awesome.
406
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,337
And I wasn't arrested.
407
00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:40,556
Your grandfather was just telling a joke.
408
00:15:40,557 --> 00:15:42,391
It was just a joke. I got a million of 'em.
409
00:15:42,392 --> 00:15:43,342
Dad.
410
00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:44,677
I did it! It's printing!
411
00:15:44,678 --> 00:15:47,346
I had to download new firmware,
install new drivers,
412
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:50,149
change your encryption,
and replace an ethernet cable
413
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:51,367
in a 100-degree attic,
414
00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:54,420
while dodging
particularly aggressive spiders,
415
00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:56,322
but I did it!
416
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:57,590
Thanks.
417
00:15:57,591 --> 00:16:00,526
Oh. Okay. I guess that's it.
418
00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:01,777
What? What's it?
419
00:16:01,778 --> 00:16:03,012
Wake up, dummy.
420
00:16:03,013 --> 00:16:05,614
This is what we're talking about.
421
00:16:05,615 --> 00:16:08,951
This guy's been working like
an imbecile all day for you.
422
00:16:08,952 --> 00:16:11,821
People need something else... Kisses, hugs.
423
00:16:11,822 --> 00:16:13,722
What, for fixing a printer?
424
00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:15,858
Oh, it's fine. It was only four hours.
425
00:16:15,859 --> 00:16:18,194
I tipped over a paint can
and threw up a little,
426
00:16:18,195 --> 00:16:20,529
but I think... I think "thanks"
about covers it.
427
00:16:20,530 --> 00:16:21,964
Well, what's wrong with "thanks"?
428
00:16:21,965 --> 00:16:23,399
It's pretty much the bare minimum, dad.
429
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:27,002
Jay, for God's sakes, just say something.
430
00:16:27,003 --> 00:16:28,838
You want me to say something?
431
00:16:28,839 --> 00:16:30,306
How about "you're welcome"?
432
00:16:30,307 --> 00:16:32,992
How about "I'm... I'm so happy
to be here for you all
433
00:16:32,993 --> 00:16:35,544
so I can take the blame for all your crap."
434
00:16:35,545 --> 00:16:37,463
I can't do this, I never did that.
435
00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:41,050
Trust me, I gave you twice as
much as my father ever gave me.
436
00:16:41,051 --> 00:16:43,686
The man kissed me
one time in my entire life.
437
00:16:43,687 --> 00:16:45,754
He came up behind me, kissed me
on the back of the head,
438
00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:47,122
said, "goodnight, Becky."
439
00:16:47,123 --> 00:16:48,357
He thought I was my sister.
440
00:16:48,358 --> 00:16:49,492
Wait a minute.
441
00:16:49,493 --> 00:16:52,728
When was the last time you kissed Mitch?
442
00:16:52,729 --> 00:16:54,129
What does that have to do with anything?
443
00:16:54,130 --> 00:16:56,365
Mitch, when was the last time
he kissed you?
444
00:16:56,366 --> 00:16:57,532
I... I don't remember.
445
00:16:57,533 --> 00:16:59,468
- It wasn't that long ago.
- I was 12.
446
00:16:59,469 --> 00:17:01,837
12? This is the problem!
447
00:17:01,838 --> 00:17:04,006
Jay's dad doesn't kiss Jay,
448
00:17:04,007 --> 00:17:07,826
so Jay Doe't kiss Mitch,
and Mitch is uptight.
449
00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:09,995
Okay, okay, "uptight"
was really not on the table.
450
00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:11,280
This is more about kissing.
451
00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:13,849
Jay, kiss your son. He's a mess.
452
00:17:13,850 --> 00:17:15,634
Oh, come on, now.
453
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:16,952
We don't have to do that. It's...
454
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:17,886
- Yes, you do.
- No.
455
00:17:17,887 --> 00:17:19,287
Come on.
456
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:21,590
Come on, do it. You're in front
of your grandchildren.
457
00:17:23,426 --> 00:17:27,279
All right, all right! Shut up!
458
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:28,897
Mitch, get over here.
459
00:17:28,898 --> 00:17:30,766
W... What, now? Well, I feel weird now.
460
00:17:30,767 --> 00:17:32,233
Don't be coy.
461
00:17:32,234 --> 00:17:34,202
What are you waiting for, a box
of chocolates? Let's do this.
462
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:45,681
Ohh.
463
00:17:45,682 --> 00:17:47,849
That's the sweetest
thing I've ever seen.
464
00:17:47,850 --> 00:17:51,119
All right, and now because I
never want to hear this again...
465
00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:52,154
You.
466
00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:53,188
Ohh.
467
00:17:53,189 --> 00:17:54,206
Not you.
468
00:17:54,207 --> 00:17:56,208
Oh, daddy, I love you.
469
00:17:57,961 --> 00:17:59,695
Let's go eat chunchullo!
470
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:04,049
You know it's made of
pig intestines, right?
471
00:18:09,989 --> 00:18:11,139
Alex, wait.
472
00:18:11,140 --> 00:18:12,650
- What?
- I want to talk to you.
473
00:18:12,651 --> 00:18:14,486
Mom, I don't want another lecture.
474
00:18:14,487 --> 00:18:17,021
It's not a lecture.
I want to tell you something.
475
00:18:17,022 --> 00:18:20,358
Honey, I know exactly how you're feeling.
476
00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:22,293
No, you don't.
477
00:18:22,294 --> 00:18:26,765
Okay, the... The joke
that grandpa told tonight?
478
00:18:26,766 --> 00:18:29,033
That... That happened.
479
00:18:29,034 --> 00:18:31,302
That... That was true.
480
00:18:31,303 --> 00:18:32,904
So, you were arrested naked?
481
00:18:32,905 --> 00:18:33,971
I wasn't naked!
482
00:18:33,972 --> 00:18:36,674
And I was not arrested per se.
483
00:18:36,675 --> 00:18:40,378
I was driven home one night by the police
484
00:18:40,379 --> 00:18:42,180
because my boyfriend and I
485
00:18:42,181 --> 00:18:44,799
had gone swimming in somebody's pool,
486
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:47,986
and we didn't have bathing suits and...
Blah, blah, blah.
487
00:18:47,987 --> 00:18:49,721
The details aren't important.
488
00:18:49,722 --> 00:18:53,191
What matters is that everybody
at school was talking about it.
489
00:18:53,192 --> 00:18:54,592
And I thought I would die.
490
00:18:54,593 --> 00:18:57,162
But it passed.
491
00:18:57,163 --> 00:18:59,063
I swear.
492
00:18:59,064 --> 00:19:02,167
And now, honey, I'm...
I'm glad it happened.
493
00:19:02,168 --> 00:19:04,669
I've got a funny story
to tell at dinner parties.
494
00:19:05,971 --> 00:19:09,557
So, how long did it take
before you thought it was funny?
495
00:19:09,558 --> 00:19:11,743
Oh, God...
496
00:19:11,744 --> 00:19:14,295
10, 15 years.
497
00:19:14,296 --> 00:19:16,564
Great. What do I do about tomorrow?
498
00:19:16,565 --> 00:19:18,983
I don't think you have to worry about that.
499
00:19:24,957 --> 00:19:26,991
Go, go, go.
500
00:19:26,992 --> 00:19:29,694
In Colombia, we kiss for everything
501
00:19:29,695 --> 00:19:32,864
because a kiss can mean
so many different things.
502
00:19:32,865 --> 00:19:34,665
There's no ghost in here, is there?
503
00:19:34,666 --> 00:19:36,667
Not a chance.
504
00:19:36,668 --> 00:19:38,502
Sleep easy, kid.
505
00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:43,691
It can be the start of something new.
506
00:19:50,416 --> 00:19:53,785
It can be how we say, "this
is the person that I love."
507
00:19:53,786 --> 00:19:55,653
So who's a better kisser, me or your dad?
508
00:19:55,654 --> 00:19:57,488
Ew.
509
00:19:57,489 --> 00:19:59,557
It can be romantic.
510
00:19:59,558 --> 00:20:02,660
Just so you know,
if my friends weren't there,
511
00:20:02,661 --> 00:20:04,045
I would've said yes.
512
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:07,465
So, if you still want to...
513
00:20:09,534 --> 00:20:11,368
If it's okay...
514
00:20:11,369 --> 00:20:13,504
Maybe we should hang out more first.
515
00:20:13,505 --> 00:20:16,040
This is only the second
conversation we've had
516
00:20:16,041 --> 00:20:17,175
that wasn't by text.
517
00:20:17,176 --> 00:20:18,476
Whew!
518
00:20:18,477 --> 00:20:20,895
It can also be worth waiting for.
519
00:20:20,896 --> 00:20:24,682
Jay, what is this?
520
00:20:24,683 --> 00:20:26,317
Just another nice thing I did for you
521
00:20:26,318 --> 00:20:27,652
while you made a fool of me.
522
00:20:27,653 --> 00:20:30,071
Manny let me in on your little tricks.
523
00:20:30,072 --> 00:20:31,823
You feel bad now?
524
00:20:31,824 --> 00:20:33,324
No. I feel good.
525
00:20:36,528 --> 00:20:37,828
Mm.
526
00:20:40,666 --> 00:20:44,023
That one is definitely my favorite.
527
00:20:46,457 --> 00:20:47,809
Phil, you really don't have to do this.
528
00:20:47,810 --> 00:20:51,246
No. I... I can do it. I want to do it.
529
00:20:51,247 --> 00:20:54,629
It's silly to pay someone
else just to do something...
530
00:20:54,630 --> 00:20:55,714
Oh!
531
00:20:55,715 --> 00:20:57,482
Oh, no! Oh!
532
00:20:57,483 --> 00:20:58,733
Oh, wait! No, no, don't spill it!
533
00:20:58,734 --> 00:20:59,884
- Sweetie, don't spill that!
- Oh!
534
00:20:59,885 --> 00:21:01,636
- Oh, that's on me!
- Careful! Oh, gosh!
535
00:21:01,637 --> 00:21:03,421
- Oh!
- Okay, get up. You're fine.
536
00:21:03,422 --> 00:21:05,323
Get it off! Okay, I got it. I got it.
537
00:21:05,324 --> 00:21:06,474
Got it off. Got it off.
538
00:21:06,475 --> 00:21:07,726
- Oh, the face!
- Not the face!
539
00:21:07,727 --> 00:21:09,060
Oh, the face!
All right, I'll pull it down!
540
00:21:09,061 --> 00:21:10,528
- Ohh!
- You're good!
541
00:21:10,529 --> 00:21:12,697
- It's on me.
- All right, I'm gonna have to... I'll cut it off.
542
00:21:12,698 --> 00:21:13,765
Good idea.
543
00:21:15,568 --> 00:21:16,918
Get a bucket, please!
544
00:21:16,919 --> 00:21:22,919
... Sync by Rafael UPD, corrected by gloriabg...
www.addic7ed.com/